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"You Know Who Invented Salad? Poor People." - The Trailer For Michael Bay's PAIN & GAIN Is Here!
Nordling here.
When Michael Bay is in full trashy mode, I'm in. I won't lie - I freaking adore the utter amorality of BAD BOYS 2. They invade Cuba in Hummers, for fuck's sake, and end up declaring war on a shanty village by running over many, many people. It's no one's idea of a classic, but it's a hell of a lot of fun. I tend to think movies like BAD BOYS 2 and the upcoming PAIN & GAIN showcase the REAL Michael Bay - a filmmaker who would rather use the millions at his disposal to make something truly morally reprehensible.
And PAIN & GAIN looks positively Coenesque, if that's even possible. Full of snappy dialogue, I think this just might be the Ultimate Michael Bay Movie. I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is one of my most anticipated movies of next year. Here's the trailer:
PAIN & GAIN opens in April 2013.
Readers Talkback
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Looks awesome.
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He said it himself. Also, third.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:04 p.m. CST
Oversaturated image combined with unneccessary lens flares...
by nephilim138
yep, it's another piece of shit from bay.
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Everyone saying this looks good is joking, right?!?! RIGHT?!?!
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:05 p.m. CST
This isn't one of my most anticipated movies of 2013 for some reason...
by cameron
Ah yes that's it..Coz it looks like a shit smear on a leaf after an ape wiped his ass.
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Without remorse or inhibitions. It appears that this is where he belongs. Looks good, for what it is.
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Looks like it might either be good....or so bad that it's good accidentally.
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On top of that, The Rock promoting TWO major releases leading up to Wrestlemania? Cash money.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:12 p.m. CST
I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is one of my most anticipated movies of next year
by Tank Williams
Wow Nordling. Can't blame you for having an opinion, as we all deserve to have one. But, take a second to really process what you're saying. This movie looks like complete garbage. I realize you referenced BB2 as being the trashy Bay you enjoy, and I agree to an extent. But come on, this looks absolutely ridiculous.
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Damn elbow went golfing on me. The Rock is a beast now!
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I don't get it. Is this a comedy? Although I will say, there's something sorta perfect about Michael Bay directing The Rock.
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Visually it looks like an episode of 'CSI: Miami' without the orange filter on the camera, which admittedly isn't unusual territory for Bay, but that aside...it actually looks to be a decent black comedy, at least in theory. (That said, Tony Shalhoub and Ed Harris are certainly a bonus.)
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I mean don't get me wrong I don't totally hate Michael Bay. I loved The Rock, Bad Boys 1 & 2. Also mildly enjoyed Armageddon. But than you have Pearl Harbor, The Island, & all of those Transformers films that gigantic pieces of shit on celluloid. So I may check this out on Red Box, but I don't know if I'd go to the movies to see it.
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Bay does exactly one thing decent, and that's action, which this trailer seemed to be lacking. If this is supposed to be a fun screwball comedy, based on the sense of humor Bay's films have shown over his years (seems mostly to be consist of juvenile jokes so broad I can't imagine juveniles even finding them funny, or black people yelling), I don't see much to look forward to.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:20 p.m. CST
@backwardgalaxy: more like a black comedy based on a true story.
by Bill C.
And the true story, at least from one account of it, is so messed up it's a black comedy in itself: http://www.miaminewtimes.com/specialReports/pain-and-gain-from-new-times-story-to-michael-bay-film-1890864/
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I have . . and it's grotesque. There's a lot more to it than a simple 'kidnap a rich guy to get his assets' job. The kidnappers were fed a bunch of lies to help a some guy get back money he believe the victim owed. Theyse guys tortured the poor guy for days - in horrific wasy - and then tried to kill him by faking a car wreck. Definitely an odd story to 'parody.'
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:28 p.m. CST
I read most of the story awhile back. It was certainly worth a look from what I remember.
by GQTaste26
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There aren't too many traditional Michael Bay shots in the trailer until about 1:52 into it when the card "From Director Michael Bay" appears. I somehow suspect this will be another all-over-the-map film from the Chaos Bringer.
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The trailer seems to indicate that Bay will actually allow his actors to do their thing this time, instead of overdirecting and having the actors ramble incessantly over nothing, e.g. Shia in the Transformers movies, Lawrence and Smith in the Bad Boys movies, and so on.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:37 p.m. CST
like it somewhat despite the crappy Michael Bay film gimmicks he uses in every movie...too much panning, slow mo, etc. Plus Bay has shown his sense of humor kind of sucks.
by K-Gin
The guy has never evolved from his music video mentality. Bad Boys 2 sucked even more than Bad boys 1...
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:38 p.m. CST
Looks fucking great! Funny as hell! How can you hate on something like this?!
by MariusXe
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:38 p.m. CST
Love it or not, this does look to be about 4,657% more sit-throughable than any Transformers movie
by Danny Boil
Could be cheesy fun; we'll see...
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Can't wait.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:39 p.m. CST
Well, mayBe because most of you are fat basement dwelling fucks! I am a gym rat and I laughed my ass off, while watching this trailer.
by MariusXe
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Fucked up. http://floridadeathrow.wordpress.com/2008/09/2 4/lugo-daniel/
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So if you find this trailer funny, you just must know all the intricate ins and outs of a real gym. Way to show everyone mariusxe, consider yourself validated!
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:47 p.m. CST
Really, really not funny. At all. Snappy dialogue? I enjoy most of May's flicks, but man, what the hell is this turd? Just get on with Transformers 4.
by Ecto-1
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:54 p.m. CST
Not 100% sold but not totally against it either. Not really sure what the heck i just witnessed. Curious.
by peter
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:54 p.m. CST
"Based on a True Story" ...which part? Them hitting the gym? LMFAO
by Chris
btw I see the cinematographer from the Transformer movies is back. So is the same military hummer that appeared in the movies.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 2:55 p.m. CST
Just think...that could have been "NINJA TURTLES." Glad we dodged that bullet.
by Chris
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booooooo Please just put up the Youtube
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Dec. 19, 2012, 3:03 p.m. CST
Im done with this garbage. Bay is a tired anachronism. He needs to go away.
by dahveed1972
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Nobody should be encouraged to watch this shit.
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And further proof that Wahlberg is funny.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 3:59 p.m. CST
This being on of your most most anticipated movies of next year...
by TDH1138
Means you're unfucking qualified to tell ANYONE what is and isn't a good movie. You're a fucking tool, Nordling. This site has been on the downward slope for years and you just put the nail in the coffin. You asshat.
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Is Bay gay?
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Dec. 19, 2012, 4:11 p.m. CST
This actually looks kinda fun... almost a hybrid of The Italian Job, Bad Boys, and Boogie Nights in a way
by lv_426
This seems like one of those films where Mark Wahlberg is in Dirk Diggler mode. You know what I'm saying?
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I'm surprisingly more on the fence on this than I thought I'd be...
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coenesque? jesus fucking CHRIST. Makes Southland Tales look like a shit hot masterpiece; the Hobbit in 2D was rad.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 4:25 p.m. CST
I wonder if Michael Bay will do a Transformers movie every 3 years
by lv_426
so that in between each of those sequels he can squeeze in a weird little flick like this? Kinda like Nolan did the Batman films, then did a more personal or original film in between each installment of his Dark Knight saga. Seems the only way that directors not named Steven Spielberg or James Cameron can do anything original these days of franchise movie making.
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Seriously, someone give him a massive budget and get him on making another Bad Boys film. This looks alright, i'll go see it.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 4:36 p.m. CST
this movie looks rad. The Hobbit in HFR 3D was also rad.
by JackSlater4
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...from the villain's point of view? I kept waiting for Will Smith and Martin Lawrence to show up...
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Dec. 19, 2012, 4:46 p.m. CST
People are ENCOURAGING Bay to be morally reprehensible?!
by Nasty In The Pasty
The more creative control he gets, the worse the eventual movie. Transformers was just lame and dull, but the second one is downright EVIL. Pain & Gain will be Bay's Sucker Punch...the "pet project" that lays bare his diseased id.
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except, that movie was brilliant....
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Maybe Bay will let all the trash out here so that only class is left for T4.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 5:21 p.m. CST
So did these guys have to wash Bay's Ferrari separately or at the same time?
by elmo
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Not saying that's a bad thing. Just not my cup of tea.
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he makes movies, and I for one think he's fucking good at it.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 5:58 p.m. CST
Bay should be making adult-themed films like this, not kiddie movies like Transformers. More movies like this from him, one or two of 'em are sure to be enjoyable.
by Bobo_Vision
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Dec. 19, 2012, 6:21 p.m. CST
Lol 3 to 4 million opening weekend and straight to the 4.99 video bin. What a waste of...everything.
by Cedric Ford
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...that trailer was one of the best trailers ever! I mean like it was everything a trailer should do. I love it. I hope Bay is back with this one. I was a Bay fan from the beginning until the island and then TF 2 and 3. This looks like one of the most excessive movies of all time.
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How can anyone say that this is the movie they look most forward to!? Are you some kind of mentally challanged person? In a year when Elysium and Oblivion comes out, sci-fi movies by exciting filmmakers, this.. THIS is one of your most anticipated movies of 2013? Harry really has seen The Hobbit. Great guys, great!
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You little girls can go watch dora the explorer and play with your bay blades. See what I did there... bwahahaha... ah.. ass and titties and explosions, that's what I like to see.
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Just one explosion for this one I guess.
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Looks entertaining but the true story of what happened is pretty horrific. After torturing him for days they tried to dispose of his body by burning it. Only he wasn't dead and lived to testify. Before they were caught, they kidnapped a rich couple and murdered them because they wouldn't give up the code to get into their house. Nice guys. Spoiler alert. Lugo is on death row.
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Dec. 19, 2012, 7:19 p.m. CST
I've been most anticipating next year's movie for a month now.
by Smerdyakov
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Dec. 19, 2012, 7:23 p.m. CST
It would be great if Bay threw all of his fucktard fans a curveball with a makeout scene btwn the 2 principal leads.
by AzulTool
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Dec. 19, 2012, 7:47 p.m. CST
The films subject matter is interesting and it has a capable cast.....
by Father
....but with bay at the helm, none of that means anything. Pain and gain is gonna be another one of his vaccuous , shallow, hate filled, unfunny tributes to meat-headed douchebaggery . Fuck him .
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is a good explosion.....Bay!!
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Dec. 19, 2012, 9:08 p.m. CST
I'm more into the old Sean Penn movie "Bad Boys", that's the one I'll watch.
by ufoclub1977
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duh.
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Whoa, for a minute there I thought Mark did finally go through that Tim Burton sequel to Planet Of The Apes. Monkey men et all ;) This movie doesn't look at all interesting (Based on a true story? Puh leaze!) & doesn't look funny enough to be a comedy. And now Bay is on schedule to massacre the Transformers franchise some more, yay.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 2:09 a.m. CST
Don't know how they could make this story into an action comedy...
by Marlboroliteman
Its based on a true story where people were kidnaped, tortured, and killed.
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Seriously?! This looks like the exact opposite of a Coen film
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Dec. 20, 2012, 3:20 a.m. CST
@marlboroliteman: I agree. Any Michael Bay film is disturbing...but the fact he is making an "action/black comedy" film about these true events is even more disturbing.
by tritium
The two principles are on Death Row. I encourage everyone to read the Miami Times article about the crime. Redshirt_24 provided the link, previously...but here it is again: http://www.miaminewtimes.com/specialReports/pain-and-gain-from-new-times-story-to-michael-bay-film-1890864/
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. . .I was under the impression that this was going to be more of a comedy/drama, but apparently this is "Michael Bay does a heist (mob?) movie" with hefty amounts of skanky rap mixed in.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 4:47 a.m. CST
So next year there will be movies from both Michael Bay and JJ Abrams.
by AsimovLives
I opened a fortune cookie and in it it said that 2013 if the Year Of The Mega-Hacks.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 4:49 a.m. CST
Thanks to this traile,r now i know what movie NOT to watch next year.
by AsimovLives
Talk about a public service anouncement. Good job, trailer boys!
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Dec. 20, 2012, 5:08 a.m. CST
Michael Bay, the man who made geography his mortal enemy.
by AsimovLives
Flat Earth on Armageddon (sunset happening at the same time everywhere), the high mountains of Long Island, Havana to Guantánamo as a 5 minutes car ride, Gize to Petra and back in a single afternoon, the Egypcian-Jordan land border... the latter makes it clear that Michael Bay refuses to acknowldge the existence of the state of Israel, which is funny considering he's an orphan who was raised by a jewish couple.
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Damn you Michael Bay
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I'm in.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 6:33 a.m. CST
After all these years the Pontiac Fiero makes it's cinematic debut and Brock Landers driving?
by Mel Garga
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Always glossed over.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 7:15 a.m. CST
"Oversaturated image combined with unneccessary lens flares..." I thought you were talking about JJ Abrams.
by SunTzu77
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mid-July i'm guessing?
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...would be a more honest title.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 8:38 a.m. CST
people actually want another transformers from bay? are u nuts?
by Hugh Gustavus
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Since when Grand Theft Auto looked like retard shit? Wash your mouth, son!
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Dec. 20, 2012, 8:39 a.m. CST
bad boys 2 was crap compared to 1st, and u want another one?
by Hugh Gustavus
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Dec. 20, 2012, 8:39 a.m. CST
at least its not another explosion filled ridiculous mess
by Hugh Gustavus
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It's not that he is a terrible director, it's the fact that he has the potential to be a pretty good one. He tends to sacrifice storytelling for spectacle when there's no real reason you can't have both. Explosions are great when they're happening around characters you care about. In any case, this does look far more interesting to me than anything else he's done in recent years.
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... with a couple of early exceptions; but this looks great. Comparatively low budget sleazebag black comedy with an excellent cast. I'm in.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 10:29 a.m. CST
atalcot, no, he's a terrible director, and part of the reason is because he sacrifice storytelling for spectacle, among his many other flaws and sins.
by AsimovLives
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The reason why it's good that Michael Bay should be making another Bad Boys movie is that it would prevent him from doing anything else, it would prevent him from ruining some other classic franchise like he did to Transformers. In fact, Bay should be forced by law to only make Bad Boys sequel and nothing else. And yes, the Bad Boys movies fucking sucks. That should go without saying.
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Praise the cinematogrpaher if you will, but not the fucking hack director who uses it as a clutch in lieu of lacking storytelling ability.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 12:57 p.m. CST
Why anticipate this when everyone ignored Seven Psychopaths, which this look to be a pale reflection of.
by openthepodbaydoorshal
Wahlburg looks like he's repeating his Other Guys role, Dwayne is basically playing The Rock...again, although I can't deny the casting of Tony Shaloub and Ed Harris...
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Bay may have finally made a good movie
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Mickey Bay!
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Dec. 20, 2012, 1:42 p.m. CST
Bay made a decent movie? I won't believe it 'til I see it.
by SergeantStedenko
And since I'll never see it, I choose not to believe it.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 1:43 p.m. CST
Bay does know how to photograph a woman from behind though.
by SergeantStedenko
Probably all that experience making hip hop videos. Back that thang up!
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Dec. 20, 2012, 1:46 p.m. CST
This looks really good. From Bay? Is this a sign of the apocalypse?
by Raptor Jesus
I might pay cash money to see this.
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Good to see the 'ol fake MIAMI sign again.
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Think how different the world was before Windows 95 was released. 1995 is THE watershed year. It's the year that the future became the present.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 3:09 p.m. CST
One shot impressed me...the just above the surface of the water shot of Wahlburg.
by openthepodbaydoorshal
The refraction of the water makes the body look big and bulky, while the head, above water, looks small.
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Just when I was hoping The Rock had gotten smart about his movies again, he does this & GI Joe 2? Good lord.
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I'm with Nordling on this (a first, I think): Bad Boys 2 is simply brilliant, and this looks fun, too. I admit that Bay's movies are shit, all the remakes he produced are shit, but Bad Boys 2 is brilliant shit and needs to be out on BluRay ASAP.
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Dec. 20, 2012, 4:37 p.m. CST
And you Fuckers think I'm making up the Michael Bay Stories..lmao
by conspiracy
I still hate most of his stuff,....but the man is a kind of genius. He knows his audience, he knows what sells, and that cunt killer sure as hell knows what a bitch is good for. Bay=Boss Pimp
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asshole... :D
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Dec. 21, 2012, 4:24 a.m. CST
Based on a true story... and we see 3 civilians doing an unflinching walk from an explosion. Because that shit is so real life!
by AsimovLives
Based on a true story my ass. Might just as well have said "Almost All Of This Shit Is Made Up", at least that would be honest.
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Like most Michael Bay films.
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I honestly thought this was a "Funny or Die" parody. Kept asking my brother that the whole time we were watching the trailer. Bay has literally become a clown. Coen Brothers?? Leave Harry's pain medication alone, Nordling!
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with tits. I was apparently alone in that regard. Anyway, just about everybody loved it. (It helped that NO ONE knew it was a Michael Bay movie until the closing credits when everyone busted out laughing.) Personally, I thought some of the camera work was self-indulgent wankery at times, but the dude was putting in work.
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Dec. 21, 2012, 3:17 p.m. CST
I don't know what you weenies are whining about... THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN
by BrannigansLaw
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Dec. 22, 2012, 12:44 a.m. CST
So this movie glorifies........................................
by hopeless
Kidnapping and torture to get what you want? No thanks.
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It really could have been a trailer for the new game arriving 2013.
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