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Harry's DVD PICKS & PEEKS - DEC 11th 2012 edition: TED, BOURNE, DICK TRACY, Nolan, Doomsday Book and more!!!

Hey folks, Harry here… Sorry about my Birthday column being late, but BNAT threw a wrench in. However, here it is – and I’ll be back tomorrow with that one! As usual the images and links take you to Amazon, where you purchase the items and help this column continue it’s best efforts. If you’d like access to the whole multiyear history of this column, in a beautiful i-friendly App, then check out PicksAndPeeks.Com!

Tuesday, December 11th, 2012





TED Blu Ray

Seth MacFarlane’s TED is a hilarious man-child comedy that knows how to hump the awesome leg of FLASH GORDON! A filthy mouthed Teddy Bear comedy was bound to happen, but could we have predicted that it’d be this perfectly geeky? The party with Flash is the stuff of comedy riffing dreams. Sam Jones forever! I’ve only seen the Unrated version – which I loved. Defintely has a lot of repeat views in it.




THE BOURNE LEGACY Blu Ray

This AVENGERS prequel movie setting up the origin of Clint Barton aka HAWKEYE is a blast. At least, that’s what I like to pretend as I’m watching it. That chase sequence at the end of this film is a real nail biter. The stuff on the motorcycle with Rachel Weisz freaked me out. She should never be in that kind of danger. This film really starts to play up the meta-human aspects, and I like that. Can’t wait for Damon and Renner to team up in the next one. Frank Marshall has basically said that’s gonna happen. Can’t wait! Looks great on Blu! Gilroy did real good!




ICE AGE: CONTINENTAL DRIFT Blu Ray

I find this series completely boring and predictable. It’ll never stop because it makes all the money overseas. But it hurts my brain.




GIRLS: The Complete First Season Blu Ray

Love Lena Dunham’s GIRLS…. It’s just a wonderful peak into their world. I’ve been watching this series with Yoko and her Girls – and it has been a blast. If you haven’t caught the bug, it’s a great catch. That Block Party episode kills me.




DICK TRACY Blu Ray

Watching Warren Beatty translate Chester Gould’s Dick Tracy with so much heavy make up and crazy as hell primary colors…. WELL I LOVE IT! I just wish he’d let the makeup folks give him Dick Tracy lines – and if they’d mugged up Maggie a bit. This is a bare bones release – which is a shame. I would love a packed blu ray on this title. Alas, not a single thing. But it is nice to have a blu on the title.




FOLLOWING Criterion Blu Ray

Nolan’s awesome 16mm Film Noir debut gets the Criterion treatment – and fans of Nolan give thanks! In addition to a crazy crisp transfer of the film itself that was supervised by Nolan – you get the following goodies:

New, restored high-definition digital transfer, supervised by director Christopher Nolan, with uncompressed monaural soundtrack on the Blu-ray edition

New 5.1 surround sound mix by sound editor Gary Rizzo, presented in DTS-HD Master Audio on the Blu-ray edition

Audio commentary by Nolan

New interview with Nolan

Chronological rendering of the story

Side-by-side comparison of three scenes in the film with the shooting script

Doodlebug (1997), a three-minute film by Nolan, starring Jeremy Theobald

Trailers

PLUS: A booklet featuring an essay by film critic and programmer Scott Foundas

If you’ve never seen FOLLOWING, you’ll see a Nolan film more closely related to MEMENTO than any of his other work. That’s a good thing. I promise.




THE QATSI TRILOGY Criterion Blu Ray

The combination of Phillip Glass’ scoring and the stunning imagery that Reggio put together for these three transcendental experiences… well, it’s made for Blu Ray – and Criterion agrees. Powerful and trippy stuff at times. But if you love the diversity found on Planet Earth, few series will show it to you with the awe this does. Do not miss this!




BABES IN TOYLAND Blu Ray

We haven’t gotten nearly enough of the live action Disney classics on Blu… but getting this one is a real treat. Mickey Mouse Club vet Annette Funicello with the original Scarecrow RAY BOLGER – this fanciful kids tale shows it’s age, but does show in a charming as hell manner. This was a real treat to rewatch, I’d seen it years ago.




THE ISLAND Blu Ray

David Warner is playing a modern day pirate making Michael Caine’s life pretty miserable. And in a very odd way, has a lot more in common with HOOK than you would think… watch it, trust me, it is there… but this Peter Benchley story isn’t on par with JAWS or THE DEEP… BUT it is violent as hell and a yarn to enjoy




THE WILD GEESE Blu Ray

Directed by Victor McLaglen’s son, who helmed a couple things for The Duke… Here he has a team made up of Roger Moore, Richard Harris and Richard Burton… it is essentially an EXPENDABLES movie – where a team is sent in on a mission that they totally get screwed on, but because they’re badasses that won’t quit, shit gets handled and they’re pissed off about having to wipe. Personally, I can’t imagine not wanting to check this out. It will make you happy you did!




DOOMSDAY BOOK Blu Ray

Looking for a good Apocalyptic title to go out on? Well, DOOMSDAY BOOK certainly offers a variety platter of end of the world scenarios. Here you’ll get Zombies, Asteroids and Robots fucking up with world. Kim Jee Woon – I SAW THE DEVIL and Arnold’s upcoming THE LAST STAND is unleashed here, along with Yim Pil-Sung, who has directed the upcoming HANSEL & GRETEL. The film played at Fantastic Fest this year – and audiences really dug it. Waiting on my disc to get here!




DEATH VALLEY Blu Ray

Here’s a quality 80’s slasher film that not that many of you may be familiar with. This is a story about a boy, separated by divorce from his father, whom he worships…. And forced on a road trip with his mother and her boyfriend… on the VACATION FROM HELL! Good stuff, don’t read too much on it, let the film just sort of slap ya around. Amazing to get this quality on this title. I love Blu Ray!




BARON BLOOD Blu Ray

A friend of my father’s had this film on 16mm when I was a kid. I can remember clearly watching it projected on the patio one star-filled night in the 70s. BARON BLOOD creeped me the fuck out. There was something about this Mario Bava that chilled my blood and tingled my spine, so when Kino was good enough to send a disc, I decided to watch the film… alone…. Late at night – and try to give it a chance to creep me out. AND IT STILL DOES! No lie. This movie creaks in a manner to creep you out. Plus it has the lovely Elke Sommer and the great Joseph Cotton. Gothic as all hell, and great!




OSOMBIE Blu Ray

You know the phrase, “Misery loves company”? That’s the only way to enjoy this turd. Watched it with some BNATTERS before BNAT this year and even with their great cheer, the film withered before us. It barely has the Osama Bin Laden zombie in it. You watch for what seems like ages, but that’s ok cuz they’ll distract you with idiot characters doing idiot things.




THE ULTIMATE BUSTER KEATON Collection

Amazon only has 19 of these left right now, with more coming – and if you’re a Buster Keaton fan… you’ve probably already got much of this. HOWEVER, if you have a friend that you’d love to convert to the greater glory of Keaton – this is an excellent present. What do you get? 14 Blu Rays from Kino filled with amazing transfers and extras for all this: Buster Keaton Short Films Collection: 1920-1923 (Three-Disc Ultimate Edition) [Blu-ray] (3-disc set) Battling Butler / Go West (Ultimate 2-Disc Edition) [Blu-ray] The General [Blu-ray] The Navigator: Ultimate Edition [Blu-ray] Our Hospitality: ULTIMATE EDITION [Blu-ray] The Saphead: Ultimate Edition [Blu-ray] Seven Chances (Ultimate Edition) [Blu-ray] Sherlock Jr. / Three Ages [Blu-ray] Steamboat Bill, Jr. [Blu-ray] Lost Keaton: Sixteen Comedy Shorts 1934-1937 [Blu-ray] Plus COLLEGE, which is the only new title to this release. If you haven’t explored Keaton, this is the plunge to take!




MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – The Complete Series DVD

55 DVDs of the greatest spy show ever packed into the belly of dynamite! Yeah, that’s awesome! This is nearly 172 hours of face peeling, stings, séances, scams and action. If you have only ever known the title from the films starring Tom Cruise, you really do deserve to experience the pure glee you get from the original show. Martin Landau and Leonard Nimoy were my fave characters. But Peter Graves is who I want on the case, and always will!

Tomorrow I’ll be back with a look at PITCH PERFECT, TOTAL RECALL remake, TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE, KILLER JOE, PREMIUM RUSH, ARBITRAGE, HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN Blu, SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTION Blu, DEATHSHIP Blu, FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR Blu, RED HOOK SUMMER, THE MAN WHO NEVER WAS blu and that’s about it.

Readers Talkback
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  • Dec. 17, 2012, 5:49 a.m. CST

    Ted is hilarious!

    by Darth Mulder

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:05 a.m. CST

    Can't stand Seth MacFarlane

    by The Krypton Kid

    Guy seems like a self-satisfied jackass. But his worst offense is the atrocious style of "comedy" he has inflicted on pop culture. Stupid, random jokes is not good comedy. It's lazy, stupid writing. Unfortunately, mainstream tastes have devolved so much that the schmuck is considered brilliant. But this is no surprise considering that so many people regard trash like Two and a Half Men and That 70s Show to be good television and swear that convoluted, pretentious drivel like Dark Knight and Dark Knight Rises are masterpieces.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:06 a.m. CST

    The Personality Vacuum that is Mark Whalberg..

    by harryknowlesnothingaboutfilm

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:07 a.m. CST

    does the wild geese movie

    by mick vance

    have the wild goose song by frankie lane? that song totally kicks ass...

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:31 a.m. CST

    Marky Mark is a Jack off.

    by Mr Soze

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:35 a.m. CST

    Death Valley sucks

    by Bobo_Vision

    I remember this coming on tv on A&E repeatedly when I was in my teens, and the title made it sound like an awesome horror flick, but instead it was a boring tale about marital discord.

  • I've heard that crap for about a month now.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:42 a.m. CST

    @Kypton

    by Spudwick30

    Your argument and vitriol against Seth would actually have weight to me and perhaps 90% of the viewing population if not for your dislike of The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises.... Fool.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:45 a.m. CST

    Death Valley... Memories of watching HBO in the 1980s.

    by Jason

    I remember seeing Death Valley on HBO when I was in fifth grade. One of the first R-rated movies that I ever watched, in fact. (Thankfully, Alien was the first R-rated flick, and that set the standard.) Death Valley was a trip, and I'm surprised at how much of the movie I remember having only seen it one time in my childhood. There's one scene where the killer actually sets up a vending machine bait trap for an overweight babysitter. I'm not making that up. Death Valley falls into that category of 1980s movies that would probably be unwatchable to my 40 year-old eyes, so I'll pass on buying the Blu-ray. It would be fun to Netflix this old flick, though, and get another fix in my middle age.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:54 a.m. CST

    You don't like the Ice Age films?...

    by Terry Powell

    ...they're not that bad. Kinda cute for what they are. But if nothing else, you gotta love Scrat, a kinda Wile E Coyote for the 21st century.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:56 a.m. CST

    Seriously, Harry, Pass the torch...

    by Bodacious_Crumb

    ...if you can't keep up with these DVD columns. Sometimes one can miss out on a first-week release deal on some of these titles.

  • ...I think I finally understand why Harry hated The Dark Knight Rises.

  • the rest of us just think he's funny and we enjoy some of his work i loved Ted, despite hating parts of it.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 7:18 a.m. CST

    Happy Birthday

    by lochkray

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 7:21 a.m. CST

    Harry didnt like TDKR but liked Following?

    by yourebreakingthejacket

    Strange.

  • Also, does anyone remember HBO airing a behind the scenes making-of video of Return of the Jedi? The segment featured the construction, and subsequent explosion, of Jabba's barge.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 7:49 a.m. CST

    The only good thing from Dick Tracy

    by Keith

    Was Madonnas song "Hanky Panky", which wasn't actually in the movie). Otherwise, it was unwatchable and I felt sorry for Hoffman-Ishtar, then this and then Hero (he redeemed himself as Capt Hook, barely).

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 7:58 a.m. CST

    I'll watch anything with John Leguizamo in it.

    by Pipple

    I'm not spanish, but after seeing the Pest, I wanted to be so badly. Odelay! Necessito grande tetas en me boca! O chocha! O Coolo! Oh and I watched Ted last night. Didn't know it skewered Superman Returns so badly. That joke's going to date the film a lot, since no one's going to care about bashing Returns years from now (it's no batman and robin), they'll either accept it for what it is, or think it was actually good and therefore not worth bashing, but I guess that fuck seth doesn't care, which says alot about the thought process that went into making that shitty movie. The only good part is flash gordon.

  • I loved it, but it's an almost empty movie. I honestly think that they didn't know how spectacular the dark knight was going to be and they didn't know how to live up to it let alone surpass it. maybe if they had longer they would have figured something out, but i think they may have tried so hard to avoid trying to live up to the dark knight that they went in a weird direction that just fell flat outside of giving bruce wayne a happy ending. an ending that after 38 years of seeing a tortured wayne i was happy to embrace. but i get why some people like harry just couldn't. i think he did his damnest to try to give all the credit in the world that he could to the dark knight rises, but he just couldn't pretend like he wasn't baffled and dissapointed. especially after such the incredible dark knight. what he didn't do was take personal pot shots at the movie or the people who made it. i give him a lot of credit for that.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 8:02 a.m. CST

    By Crom, I hated DICK TRACY

    by Logan_1973

    But how is the transfer? I imagine the colors and blacks would really POP if done correctly.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 8:12 a.m. CST

    I don't think Hoffman redeemed himself until Wag the Dog

    by Bobo_Vision

    Hook? Nothing redeeming about that film.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 8:19 a.m. CST

    @ Mel Garga

    by SonOfChiba

    http://www.geek.com/articles/geek-cetera/7-minutes-in-heaven-for-a-star-wars-fan-new-behind-the-scenes-film-of-rotj-surfaces-20120615/ Hope it still works - am at work and cannot check as vids won't play. If not, hopefully another site still has it up.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 8:26 a.m. CST

    The new Bourne

    by edaday

    Was fantastic til the third act. Pretty much everything set in the Philippines was a waste of time. Maybe I'm just sick of the editing style, but the too-long chase scene didn't hold up to its predecessors. Loved every second of the mountain-climbing stuff, and I dug the 'tech' as well.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 8:31 a.m. CST

    ROUTH joke at end of TED PISSED ME OFF!

    by dead youngling

    Example of when comedy goes too far and is mean. That movie is soured because of it. Routh was just doing his job, listening to a director and following a script AND after all this time I thought he was a damn fine Superman.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Lena Dunham

    by buggerbugger

    Does she play the same kind of slappable twat in 'Girls' as she did in 'Tiny Furniture'?

  • Boba Fett on wire..ha!

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 8:43 a.m. CST

    The Island!!!

    by Shepard Wong

    One of the titles I've been hoping would get released for a while. Nice.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 9:11 a.m. CST

    The FIRST Ice Age was very entertaining

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    But the film has been Shrek'd to death by all of these increasingly mediocre sequels/TV specials. I know that, inexplicably, the last two films made, like, 800 million worldwide apiece, but honestly, the humor has gotten rather prehistoric by this point. I only rented the third and probably won't even bother with part four. I know money talks, but I wish these animations studios would take a hint from Pixar and stop milking films mercilessly with endless sequels (YES, they made Cars 2 and are doing sequels to Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo, but I doubt we'll be seeing Toy Story 4 or 5 any time soon).

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Two real problems with Superman Returns...

    by olivehead

    ...1. Kate Bosworth was just a terrible Lois Lane (although not a terrible actress) and 2. the villain's plot is just another variation on the original movie's land-grab scheme.

  • haha antonstark, that was a pretty accurate Harry impersonation! loved it!

  • which is the state that i think harry writes some of his less polished stuff :P

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 9:26 a.m. CST

    The Island... Scared the crap out me..

    by girugamesh

    1980 was a crazy time here in south florida. I was 11 years old at the time, and for years our family would take our 42' Hatteras through the Bahamas on our summer vacation. Spending the night at anchor by uninhabited islands, after fishing all day, just like the opening scene. Boats would go missing time to time, as they saw something they were not supposed to see (drug drops). We would come across random square groupers, ditched go fast boats, crashed airplanes that missed the airstrip, abandoned houses and resorts. Also been chased out of islands we got to close to many times. Throw in the Bermuda Triangle hype ("In Search of" episodes, etc...) at the time, this violent as hell movie (they torture the kid, too) scarred me for a while (Damn jellyfish)! Finally, the CGC Dauntless was stationed in Miami, always saw her there and on patrol.. Ramble Mode Off

  • and then i remembered watching a behind the scenes video with both peter jackson making King Kong and Bryan making Superman Returns and how tired they both were and I couldn't help wondering what the hell they were so tired for when neither of them had done anything but badly copy an older movie but with better special effects. it was surreal.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Two weeks?

    by DrGogol

    For this short thing? I thought BNAT supposedly runs "on automatic"? How is it interfering with your ability to write more than a two sentence blurb for each film?

  • I don't know about the rest of you but I think Harry is just great.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 9:53 a.m. CST

    Jesus!

    by aceldama

    Harry was right, in saying TDKR is a substandard movie. It was a debacle from start to finish. Deal with it and move on.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 10:07 a.m. CST

    FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR blu?

    by Robert Evans

    that one is off my radar..are you sure that is being released?

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 10:16 a.m. CST

    @foles36 It's "drivel", not "dribble"

    by Boofalicious Washington

    Educate yourself so you don't look like such a fucking troglodyte.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 10:20 a.m. CST

    antonstark fair enough!

    by Windowlicker74

    Loved your rambling though , but when im on booze / mushrooms like ritjgy know i truy to doo the haaaary thinghf hehevebebjhehhehehehe

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 10:42 a.m. CST

    @ Mel Garga

    by SonOfChiba

    Glad the video was still up - and glad you enjoyed it, bro!

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 11:03 a.m. CST

    what a bunch of elitist nerds

    by Skankardly

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 11:14 a.m. CST

    nothing redeeming about HOOK?!

    by Robert Evans

    say what you will about the film, which i'll defend, but the score by Williams, is phenomenal. one of his best. and if it wasnt for Spielberg's self-analyzation in HOOK, you wouldnt have seen him mature and prosper with SCHINDLER, AI, MUNICH, and LINCOLN. It was almost as if Spielberg closed a chapter on his life and decided it was time to move on from the family, sentimental fare he was known for at the time.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Ice Age movies aren't great? What a fucking shocker.

    by Jason

    But as a parent, you know what you're getting when you go into an Ice Age movie. Lowbrow humor with some sort of message, and very little else to justify its existence other than the kids enjoy it, and isn't that the point? Plus, apparently Harry works too hard on this column to mention Peter Dinklage's pirate character in this latest sequel, which was a highlight. It boggles my mind, 20-something nerds who may never have girlfriends much less children, arguing about a film like Ice Age. Like, duh!

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Ted WAS unexpectedly geeky

    by lagomorph

    and I LOVED it! The whole extended Flash Gordon sequences were fantastic. The Family Guy humor sometimes wore thin but the geek humor was spot on and Ted himself was realized so perfectly that just seeing him on screen was a joy. I actually think Giovanni Ribisi and the boy playing his son nearly steal the movie with their weirdness. Probably because it finally lets the talking bear be the normal one in the situation.

  • Harry, you're a little bit Rainman, in the good way. Never quit!

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Middle Earth?! Midgard! Sorry, but these are jolly hobbit times.

    by DidntPullOutInTimeCop

  • what the shit?

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Routh joke did suck...

    by lagomorph

    but the Apache Helicopter bit was one of my favorites.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 12:08 p.m. CST

    The Wild Fookin Geese!

    by Steve Lamarre

    Loved that movie as a wee lad, and love it today so's I can makes fun of 'er.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Loved Ted! I hope MacFarlane does more live action films

    by Steve Lamarre

    We need some new comedy in Hollywood. And my prayers that Adam Sandler gets crushed by a bus haven't been answered yet, so.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 12:14 p.m. CST

    The Routh joke had truthiness

    by Steve Lamarre

    Someone had to say it

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 12:49 p.m. CST

    The Island is a cult classic. Totally worth owning.

    by Quake II

    I used to watch this on The Movie Channel in the 1980's and I've owned an Australian import dvd for the past few years. Iit's a fantastic movie and has developed quite a following within my generation. Glad the Blu finally came out so a new generation can watch this. Suprisingly gory and intense film that still holds up today. I'll take The Island over any of the Disney "Pirates" films any day of the week.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 12:54 p.m. CST

    The Island is a much better film than The Deep.

    by Quake II

    Disregard Harry's comment. The Deep is boring as fuck. The Island is an intense survival/horror movie than never lets up.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 12:56 p.m. CST

    The Routh joke...

    by Righteous Brother

    very mean - but Seth does apologise for it in the directors commentary, and says it wasn't Routh's fault - that Superman Returns is a terrible movie.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Still waiting u BNAT "review" harry...

    by Art

    DEATH VALLEY is with the kid from a xmas story? (now a musical!)

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Harry's constant Nolan digs...

    by Michael Thompson

    Are wearing thin. I get it Harry, I do. Inception went over your head and TDKR wasn't the movie "you" wanted to see. Maybe if WB gave you some payolla gifts and helicoptered your fat ass to the sets you would be singing a different tune about Nolan's work. Sad really.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 2:21 p.m. CST

    You know you have watched too much porn in your life...

    by deez mcnutts

    When the cover art and posing on 'Babes in Toyland' makes you think inappropriate things.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 2:26 p.m. CST

    @Nasty

    by Ryan

    Actually Toy Story 4 has been announced according to IMDB. Doesn't give a timeframe though.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 2:39 p.m. CST

    ...wow...these dvd reviews are...

    by scrote

    ...pretty comprehensive...

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Santa please...

    by taff

    bring me the Mission Impossible series! Loved watching that in high school. No one else in the family was interested so I had to go into my parents bedroom and watch it on a tiny black & white TV.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 2:46 p.m. CST

    This site has been paid off by The Bourne Legacy producers

    by _SnakePlissken_

    Terry Malloy and now Harry defend that feces.. Feel like I'm taking crazy pills. That film was so ordinary.. A shit stain on the previous three. Lost me with the creepy zombie scientist committing mass murder in slow like slasher fashion cause of some bullshit drug. A drug that also takes away any bad assery from Jason Bourne's previous efforts. Turns out he wasn't a highly trained government agent just a poor man's "Universal Soldier".. Completely undermines the themes from the previous 3 and turned the series into a shitty borderline sci fi

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Seth MacFarlane sold his soul to the devil

    by I am_NOTREAL

    It's the only explanation. His comedic repertoire consists of broad raunch, weed, and pop cultural references bolstered by a willingness to be politically incorrect at any turn (witness Ted's fat kid joke, or Wahlberg punching said kid, or Ted's mental retardation gag at the end). Just cite some semi-obscure cultural reference, think of the least-PC thing to do with every setup, and throw in a bong. Stir and serve. Done. Hey, I laughed at Ted. A few times, until it got stupid at the end. But comedic genius it ain't.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:05 p.m. CST

    @ disco_bean

    by lock67ca

    Glad to see someone gets it.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 6:26 p.m. CST

    Tomorrow I’ll be back with...

    by scrote

    ...another list of two sentence reviews... 'app'y now?

  • While THE DEEP is alright (I liked reading the book much more than watching the movie), the only thing worth watching in it is Jackie Bisset's wet T-shirt. I never understood the hate for THE ISLAND. Sure, you can point to some definite weirdness and what could be considered plot holes (at first, I thought the kid turned too quickly.. but we never really know how long both Caine and his kid were prisoners, not to mention the kid could have been given drugs. The hatred at his dead-beat dad and the sleep deprivation probably didn't help either)... but overall it has a good pace and some pretty scary shit. Girugamesh's post nails it: it essentially has a similar effect that JAWS does: JAWS made you afraid of the water simply because you can't see below the surface... THE ISLAND preys on the same fears played upon in DELIVERANCE and RITUALS: the fear of unknowingly trespassing onto someone else's territory and being punished for your ignorance or curiosity. It is like all those times you went exploring as a kid (either in your neighborhood or in the nearby woods) but get caught by some psychopath who happened to be living in the 100 year old farmhouse you discovered on the land your subdivision was built on.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 7:24 p.m. CST

    @antonstark It's "predecessor", not "predissesor"

    by Deaft0ne

    Educate yourself so you don't look like such a fucking troglodyte.

  • Not exactly the kind of thoughts to have in the Christmas holidays. :)

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 8:33 p.m. CST

    #boofaliciouswashington: above comment directed to you.

    by foles

  • Guess I just don't understand this world anymore. There were a couple of comedies I've seen recently that did crack me up infinitely more than Ted That's My Boy and The Watch ...believe

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 9:22 p.m. CST

    BARON BLOOD scared the shit of me!

    by Mike Soiseth

    Man, that was the first time in a movie I ever saw or even heard of people impaled on a castle wall or the corpses of victims comming back to exact revenge. He even sticks on person into a Iron Maiden if I recall. Freaked. Me. Out. and made me scared of going to bed. Creepy film with a sense of dread. Oh, and its got Elky Summers, 70s bombshell in it.

  • Dec. 17, 2012, 10:58 p.m. CST

    I wouldn't have put it that way scratchmonkey...

    by carlotta_valdes

    ...but in a word yes. 'White' Girl's is that unbearable version of NYC seen through an extremely limited lens, without all the yummy cultural flavor. Having lived in New York for over 15 years I can't stand this kind of revamped Friends/Sex an the City mash up where brown people just serve as backdrop to make the party seem 'cooler'. Can't wait till Dunham's 15 are over.

  • It's metahuman crap? Okay, I'm out. Thanks for saving me however long it takes the series to jump to metahumans and get me to flip the OFF switch on my blu-ray player. Can't anyone do anything any more without going high (actually low) concept? Metahuman. Pass. Out. Done. BOURNE sucks, automatically. Bye.

  • I don't remember the exact line, but it was something like: -It's like Razanthal, without the negative side effects- clearly referencing a person who must be some kind of villain. When they said this meaningless-ass name and acted as though it should mean something to me, I realized the film wasn't worth seeing.

  • I sure as hell do. -It's like Razenthal, without the negative side effects!- Ooooo, that means something! No, no it doesn't. Bye.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 1:13 a.m. CST

    Foles36: keep in mind

    by Monroville

    FAR more kids have died just this past month in drunk driving related accidents. Considering that you had @ 24 kids killed out of the roughly 50 to 80 million in the country, I say we still have a long way to go before what happened a few days ago can be considered as normal american behavior. And for all of the talk about banning guns or having more regulations on guns, etc. etc.... I guess everyone missed the part about how the crazy kid went into his mom's house and KILLED HER AND STOLE HER GUNS? As in: the kid was denied guns when he tried to purchase them, due to his medical records. The mom was sane and went through all the regulations, and purchased all the permits... and someone snuck into her house, killed her and stole her guns. How in the fuck can breaking, entering and stealing be regulated? Also keep in mind that Obama nor anyone else is talking about increasing the punishment on gun related violence. But hey! Enough about all of that depressing stuff! Can anyone find DeDrek so he can post another review of Harry's review?

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 2:57 a.m. CST

    metahuman crap was ONLY Bourne Legacy

    by Bass Ackwards

    That wasn't in the previous Bourne flicks at all. I'm someone who is a big fan of Damon's Bourne flicks, but when I saw the genetic tinkering bullshit in the Bourne Legacy trailer I too was turned off from that flick (have yet to see it, don't plan to).

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Tomorrow I’ll be back with...

    by castor778

    Harry this is one of your biggest problems of late. I know you get a lot of shit on your own website - but you were over a week late getting this DVD column up, and now already late with this weeks column. You really need to either hire some new help to run your site or snap out of it and actually run this site like you used to. Hell, if it wasn't for Fantastic Fest you'd be reviewing less than one movie a month this year - which is awful for a site that never missed out on any big releases. Seriously, the only thing that is keeping AICN afloat are the talkback forms - everything else has gone further and further down hill it's becoming such a disappointment.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 8:58 a.m. CST

    I can't wait for Christmas Eve

    by DrGogol

    So I can read this week's column.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 9:23 a.m. CST

    DERMOT MULRONEY ~ MIRA SORVINO

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    Jesus, are the sidebar advertisments on this site depressing. Sad to see the still-gorgeous and talented Sorvino stuck in direct-to-Redbox hell.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 9:35 a.m. CST

    @foles36 Settle down, fatty

    by Boofalicious Washington

    I'm sure if you pray REAL hard enough, some drunk ugly broad will let you sniff it.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 10:03 a.m. CST

    GIVE ME $3, AND I'll GIVE YOU MOOT COLUMNS!

    by YourMomsBox3D

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 10:11 a.m. CST

    I have seen late DVD columns

    by Chris Kirby

    For about a year now.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 11:27 a.m. CST

    @ nintendarth, I believe what you meant was "Treadstone"

    by jim

    It's understandable, not having seen any of the other 3 movies, that it's meaningless to you. But the Treadstone Program is a major part of the entire Bourne story. Would it have been better if an announcer had punctuated that line in the trailer with "HOLY SHIT! IT'S TREADSTONE WITHOUT THE SIDE EFFECTS! THIS MOVIE WILL ROCK AS EVERY SCENE IS AWESOMELY HIT OUT OF THE PARK! FANS OF THE SERIES WILL ALL AGREE, IT IS THE BEST BOURNE YET! AND NEWCOMERS WILL THINK IT'S EVEN BETTER! GO SEE IT!"? How can you fault them, in the trailer for the fourth movie, for making reference to something that is integral to the first three in the series? You skipped the previous movies, why would this one, despite how they advertised it, be any different? No amount of hand-holding, spoon-feeding, or exaggerated hype from an overly-dramatic announcer in the trailer would have convinced you otherwise.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 11:43 a.m. CST

    The Island and Shawshank Redemption

    by Kev

    2 movies I can't stop watching if I run across them on cable.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Shawshank so overrated

    by Autodidact

    What's the opposite of redemption? I think it's time to do that to Shawshank Redemption!

  • I wonder when writers of this kind of junk will figure out that scientists refers to things with names like Higgs-Boson or Frently-Brite.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 3:18 p.m. CST

    nintendarth

    by Niaiserie

    I didn't like Bourne Legacy, that said, when you try to sound smarter then something you have zero clue about, you just sound like an idiot. I get that Treadstone would be meaningless to someone who hasn't watched the series, that's fair, but making up your own story about it then declaring how stupid it is based on your misunderstanding just makes you look stupid, not the writers (and your criticisms don't make much sense anyways, Higgs-Boson is just the last names of the scientists, how is that more "scientific" then a name like Treadstone, which isn't a science program anyways but a covert military one).

  • Who knows, maybe they named it after a scientist named Timmy Treadstone? Would that make it easier for you to swallow? You do know the Manhattan Project was a real thing, and not just a John Lithgow movie, right? Or would you prefer they retroactively change the name to something that doesn't sound like an 80's soft rock band?

  • Inorganic names that would never EVER be used. Treadstone is the name of a bank, or a tire company - not the name of a covert CIA operation (which, in real life, from declassified documents, have trouble figuring out why goats fall over when surprised, never mind mapping the entire genetic structure of a person and manipulating it. Suuuuuuuch crap). I'm not making up stories. I don't pretend to know anything about Treadstone except that if there's genetic engineering in a story, I know to avoid it - because such things Don't Ever Happen in the Real World. Heck, I don't even like that garbage in science fiction. Other things that make me avoid a story: mention of a -hypergate- mention of a -wormhole- anyone on the news in a movie saying there's been some kind of -event- (news doesn't talk that way) any time someone on the news definitively says something absurd no news program would ever admit to b/c of their blood-sweat terror over committing to anything - IE calling something aliens, robots, etc. And never using the word alleged because the writer is an idiot who's apparently never watched tv news. mention of -morphing- ...... swear to god I was watching a tv show and a guy who was an alien said -I was morphed by my people into this human form- ...... yyyeah, so your people named the term after the name given to the special effect for Terminator 2 to describe being changed from one form to another, oh my goddddddd no. mention of clones mention of hypnosis brainwashing (don' work) mention of deliberately regressed memories any character being -in a coma-, the be-all for dream sequences any action film where a character cracks his neck before a fight any film where spaceships fire lasers, or enter -hyperspace- any film where a status bar appears onscreen saying something like -DOWNLOAD COMPLETE IN 6 MINUTES- during a GOD DAMNED ACTION SCENE as if it's AN ACTION SCENE to WATCH a DOWNLOAD (increasingly common and never less hellish) any film where anyone asks for a -code key- any film where anyone asks for an -encryption key- any film where anything is coded or encrypted and this is a plot point of ANY kind any film where anyone talks about -mutants- any film where anyone uses made-up slang for a race of people IE WATRWORLD -Come on, you MUTOS!- That's just the tip of the iceberg about what I won't watch. So, yeah, I don't get to see much.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Start having standards. Demand better. Tell movie studios NO!

    by Nintendarth

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Treadstone has nothing to do with genetic manipulation

    by jim

    From what I remember it was a process of brainwashing. Subjects were desensitized to the point of being amoral. Then they were trained to be sleeper assassins. Not having seen the last movie, I can't comment on what the new program was all about. However, saying "it's like Treadstone without the side effects" means, I assume, it's just as effective as Treadstone was when it worked, without all the imperfections that led to Jason Bourne going rogue over the past 3 movies. If you were head of that project, what would your code-name for it be? Is Treadstone any less believable than, say "Project MKUltra"?

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 6:04 p.m. CST

    I'm guessing all you watch are documentaries

    by jim

    Is there any fiction you enjoy? It's not a far drive from "that doesn't happen in real life" to "this story is made up". Made up slang to describe a group of people? You'd prefer if they just used existing terms? You'd prefer if in Waterworld they'd been called Honkies, or Preppies, or Chavs, or Vegans, or Smokers (hang on.....)? By the way, any relation to GenderBender and LisaB?

  • My answer: Foxtrot-5, or F5 or something. There. I'd refer to it with a military letter sign and two numbers, assuming that would be enough. You know, like actual military projects get named. Huh, imagine that. And brainwashing is also total fiction in terms of creating soldiers. *facepalm* What people believe.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 8:22 p.m. CST

    Real slang originates from an insult.

    by Nintendarth

    It doesn't spring to life. People are called webacks for a reason. it's a stupid reason, but it connects to an element of the reality of their existence, whether one ascribes it to the people involved or not. -It's like Treadstone without the side effects- is a crap line that nobody would EVER say in real life. Nobody'd call that program that. Nobody'd mention it having -side effects-. It's just like on CSI when someone walks up and says -We have a match-! Um, no. You aren't even legally ALLOWED in CSI in real life to refer to something as a match. The best you can do is call it having likely matching markets within a .001 percent probability. See? No -match-. *facepalm* again.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 8:24 p.m. CST

    I watch fiction. Plan to see REACHER, actually.

    by Nintendarth

    It looks like there's not a lot of stuff where people are wearing impossible masks and jumping 800,000 feet down to land safely on their knees in that awful 'pre-battle' pose before standing up without shattered kneecaps, a la THE MIGHTY IRON THOR OF TRON AND THE IMMORTALS. Christ.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 8:24 p.m. CST

    Here's what I don't get.

    by Nintendarth

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 9:14 p.m. CST

    *You know, like actual military projects get named.*

    by Niaiserie

    Um, what military projects have been named in such a manner? I can't think of any military project that just assigned numbers to the phonetic alphabet. Most covert projects are named specifically to have banal and sterile sounding names, which would put Treadstone right in line with that. Here's some actual military project names, just for fun, Toenails, Manhattan, Thompson, Tangerine, Varsity, Wolfhound, Perpetual, Newmarket... And you're argument that no one would say Treadstone or side effects makes zero sense, I have no idea what basis that silly point is grounded in. I don't know why I'm drawn into this conversation, it just dumbfounds me that you're criticizing movies you haven't seen, based on you're ignorance of their plots combined with your ignorance of the real world (so far Treadstone is unrealistic because you don't understand the process scientists use for naming, and now because you don't understand military naming conventions). But since I'm already drawn into this dumb argument, gene doping, the focus of Bourne Legacy, isn't as far fetched as you imagine (gene therapy actually already has proven results in actual human therapy and animal trials, obviously the movie is taking liberties beyond that). Of course it might seem far fetched if you're imagining them mapping Renner's personal chromosomal make up and genetically re-engineering him from the ground up, which is something you might be doing since you heard one line in the trailer and haven't seen the movie and HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. And the Damon Bourne movies aren't really brainwashing, its more a kind of a conditioning, but no one acts against their will or is given secret commands that trigger behavior or anything like that (in fact the Bourne movies make a point of showing us that Damon's character, and presumably others in the program, are willing volunteers) . Of course, the only reason I have to explain this is because again, you haven't seen the movies so YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. *facepalm*

  • is acceptable, but Matt Damon doing it is garbage because it would never happen in the real world? The only difference between Jason Bourne and Jack Reacher is Bourne volunteered for Treadstone and Reacher hopped on a Greyhound bus. As for brainwashing, niaiserie put it very well. I could have been clearer. They weren't taking ordinary citizens and using mind control, turning them into unknowing, unwitting assassins. More of a concentrated reconditioning that used soldiers who volunteered for the program. "Sleeper" is the proper term. It has nothing to do with hypnosis or acting against one's will.

  • Dec. 18, 2012, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Of course derogatory slang originates from an insult

    by jim

    That doesn't mean a made up word can't be any less effective in the proper context. You and I have had this argument before, back in a Game of Thrones TB regarding the Wildlings (if you are who you seem to be). Made up name for a fictional group of people, but it's accurate and fitting. They do live in the wild (an all but inhospitable area at the norther tip of the continent) and it is an insult as it suggests they are less than human, more like savage creatures than civilized people. I don't remember anyone being called a Muto in Waterworld but that does sound pretty insulting. Sounds like slang for "mutant", another insulting term for one person to call another (one you would hear in the real world). And if that person displays features that are seemingly, or decidedly, non-human (like gills), it's wholly believable that someone would call them that.

  • Like what? I dunno, maybe it's not so much what you say, but how you say it. Although, haven't heard much of anything from Massawyrm recently. Maybe he too got banned for saying what you both say.

  • Dec. 19, 2012, 4:49 a.m. CST

    bourne ultimatum was a good closer, legacy is $ only

    by Hugh Gustavus