Cool News
John Ary on KILL 'EM ALL!!
John Ary here with a look at a new action flick coming out next week on Blu-ray and DVD.
Kill'Em All features martial arts legend Gordon Liu as an evil mastermind who enjoys watching deadly assassins fight each other to the death. He kidnaps 8 contract killers, locks them in a dark basement and forces each to battle for their life.
Of course, the assassins escape and have to work together to brawl their way out of Liu's compound through hordes of ninjas, crazies and armed men in orange jumpsuits.
Here's my review...
Readers Talkback
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That's what Henry Cavill is going to look like in five years. No offense Jon, but can you guys see John Ary playing The Man Of Steel in Justice League?
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WE WANT THE METAL MILITIA!
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Dec. 5, 2012, 9:49 a.m. CST
For a split second I thought Ary Is Cool News was diving into music.
by Deceased Fan
No, not really, but a girl can dream. Bow down to the Phantom Looooorrrrdd!
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A 160 lb balding Superman with a small mutt terrier as Krypto = worst Man of Steel movie ever.
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Dec. 5, 2012, 9:59 a.m. CST
John Ary Superman wears ill fitting pj's and beach towel cape.
by Deceased Fan
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Dec. 5, 2012, 10:04 a.m. CST
Tweaky ass browser. dvaderip: you had better pray you never grow bald son. You'll look back on this time and kick yourself pretty good. Your meme is lame as fuck btw
by UltraTron
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Dec. 5, 2012, 10:06 a.m. CST
Also you are completely fucked in the head as cavil has no such hair issues. Nic Cage on the other hand would've had to have a wig
by UltraTron
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Dec. 5, 2012, 10:06 a.m. CST
Holy shit, I hate VIDEO reviews. Just gives us text that we can skim through and read what we want!
by ShiftyEyedDog
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epic.
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Dec. 5, 2012, 10:20 a.m. CST
Yeah the title and tag line is almost as good as the van:Bobby couldn't make it.. Til' he tried Fun Trucking! In The Van.
by UltraTron
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Dec. 5, 2012, 10:20 a.m. CST
I second shiftyeyeddog's motion. I don't want to watch a video review. I want to read it.
by MrWug
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You can't skim video
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Dec. 5, 2012, 10:57 a.m. CST
I want a video of John Ary reading the transcript in full Superman regalia whilst Metallica plays in the background.
by Deceased Fan
Lay off the man. He tried transcripts. You idiots still bitched.
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Can't you just type this shit like Harry, Quint, etc. do? Are you too lazy or do you think we like looking at a bald, geeky-looking dork give his opinions? Jesus, unless you magically transform into a hot babe with big tits, please just write it down.
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John, if you could magically transform into a hot babe with big tits. Gimme a call. I've got an idea for a video.
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Dec. 5, 2012, 12:24 p.m. CST
Looks alright. The fights seem pretty well choreographed with no wire-fu.
by Quake II
Definately looks like it was shot on a tv budget though.....
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Dec. 5, 2012, 1 p.m. CST
Cannot help but hear 'Hit the Lights' every time this title is mentioned
by Darth Macchio
Tis a good thing too.
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He's slowly recovering after his recent stroke. Think he's a ways off anything like a full recovery as yet, but he's getting there. Truly, he's as awesome off-screen as he is on. God bless ya, San Te!
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Dec. 5, 2012, 1:33 p.m. CST
Horrible poster... stupid tag line... and that chick has a man's foot.
by impossibledreamers
And rattlesnake leggings? Yike.s
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I did some concept art early on for Kill 'Em All, still haven't seen the finished film! Looking forward to picking it up.
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Dec. 5, 2012, 2:08 p.m. CST
Synopsis and poster sound and look awesome. Now I have to find the trailer on my lunch break.
by kindofabigdeal
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...whatever happened to script girl?
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Dec. 5, 2012, 3:08 p.m. CST
do you think those snakeskin tights symbolize her individuality and belief in personal freedom?
by Stephen
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lone fox drew two pages of gory comic strip artwork to help sell Kill 'Em All to potential backers. And it worked: the director loved the art, signed on and then Epic Pictures got involved! I am baryonyx, er Ken Miller, the writer of Kill 'Em All and I want to thank lone fox!
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Looks like my type of thing. I just watched BREATHING FIRE and that shit was brilliant.
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Dec. 5, 2012, 6:13 p.m. CST
Oh, and this is the type of film this Site should be covering.
by Spandau Belly
Give the smaller films exposure.
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Well said!
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is a sexy shit-puppet, and the shit-clock is tickin'. I miss that show :(
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Dec. 5, 2012, 10:34 p.m. CST
I actually want to see this for the blue-collar white guy who apparently wandered into the wrong movie.
by Bill C.
Seriously...hot Asian badass gal, miscellaneous other Asian badasses, and one white guy who looks like he should be on a CBS sitcom (who would probably be the token white guy in any other low-budget Asian asskicker film). And then there's this OTHER burly white guy who looks like he literally just got off the couch, went to go get a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon from the AM/PM down the street, and somehow ended up wandering into an action movie on the way back. It's just so marvelously incongruous...
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