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SMAUG in a Commercial, BNAT14WOLF Poster - Geek Overload
Hey folks, Harry here... I'm going HOBBIT crazy... I am. Can't help it, I'm powerlessly in the grasp of it. I watch every commercial. This year while prepping BNAT, I've decided to just give myself over to the insanity of dying to see this movie - a force that will be something in the back of every BNATTER'S mind until the end of the event when the soul-crushing reality that they're not seeing it, and that it is true that I am seeing it the Monday after BNAT at a Press Screening, something I'll repeatedly say, but they'll repeatedly ignore. No, they all believe it is playing. You go to the Facebook BNAT board and they all think I'm going to turn all the lights off for like half an hour as Andy Serkis whispers Riddles in the Dark to us. Yeah, they're going crazy. And why the hell not.
I mean, look at this tv spot... Not only does it show glimpses that remind me of Vermithrax Pejorative in how Smaug swoops... I LOVE IT! As I've watched the commercial below about 50 times today - it seems that Smaug is raiding Erebor, so I'm assuming that Thorin or Gandalf tells us a bit about Smaug taking the Dwarf's homes from them. This trailer goes on to give us glimpses of LARGE ARMIES IN CONFLICT - is that a glimpse at the 5 Armies conflict? Is their a framing device that gives us this? I ask these questions, but I don't really want to know the answers until it plays for me, Monday night, December 10th.
Here's the commercial
And to show how crazy obsessed I am with THE HOBBIT, here's this year's BNAT14WOLF Poster - drawn by Mondo's Johnny Sampson... I love this thing...
Readers Talkback
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Cant wait
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It does take a few minutes to get used to being different from what you normally see on a big screen, but it is awesome and most definitely NOT like video.
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Dec. 1, 2012, 5:15 p.m. CST
Give it up Harry...this is one you can't surprise people with. It's waaaay too obvious it'l be there
by Mel
But I admire your effort!
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SO FRESH!
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Can people hold their breath that long?
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Harry: Hey Herc, Harry here... I need you to write an obituary for Dallas TV star Larry Hagman. Herc: Herc Vault!! Harry: No no, Hagman. Larry Hagman. I need you to post an article on his life and passing. Herc: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ffo2Oqt8bIM http://www.amazon.com/Hello-Darlin-Absolutely-Tales-About/dp/B007K4N6EQ Harry: That’s a YouTube video and an Amazon link. I was thinking more of an analysis of the man and his career. Herc: 18-25 Demo?? Harry: This isn't something I want you to copy and paste from tvbythenumbers. I'd like something that touches on his work and ultimate cultural impact. Herc: Penultimate?! Harry: No, it's okay. Why don't you go play with your radio there Sport? Herc: HERCULES ON THE RADIO!!
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...will Rudolph miss work?!
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Dec. 1, 2012, 5:44 p.m. CST
Harry, I really, really, hope your joking about watching this 50 times.
by Nichole
Go watch Dragonslayer, or Dragonheart, or Reign of Fire for your dragon Boner. Not a few second CGI clip. Good god man, write some dvd columns, instead of watching a trailer, few glimpses, over and over. Fuck, watch Inception and play with a dragon toy while you do it.
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It's all about Valfalgar these days. Have you read Rispin Quill, The Dragon Tongue yet Harry?
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Dec. 1, 2012, 6:10 p.m. CST
oh yeah, oh yeah, Tolkien wrote it just for you. They made the movie just for you. You are the biggest fanboy. Nothing else matters.
by cozy
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Wtf? This looks completely fake, completely shit. I can't believe there are so many lemmings here blowing their loads over a fucking Xbox game.
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Harry, why the hell don't you take your head out of your ButtNumbAThon and give this site just 10% of the love you give to your self-endulgent birthday party?
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Dec. 1, 2012, 6:20 p.m. CST
Harry, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 14 times, shame on me. We're fucking seeing "The Hobbit"!!!
by The Reluctant Austinite
Or I'm a fool's fool!
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Sigh... maybe star wars wasn't a good thing for cinema. This emphasis of flashy sweeping cgi bullshit over intelligently crafted stories is getting tiresome to me and I'm only 26. I can't imagine how people who grew up in the days of bogart must feel right now about this stuff.
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Seriously fellas, hating on shit for the sake of hating on shit is really getting old. BTW Harry, is your press screening in 48fps? Just curious.
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Harry is jizzing in his pants over a commercial. I will see this movie, and it looks cool. I dare you to watch that spot 50 times, and still jizz in your pants. Go!
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....look a hell of a lot better than the ones in the new movie.
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I haven't watched the spot 50 times, maybe five, but the real point is I am thrilled to be re-living the anticipation of seeing Middle-Earth back on the big screen. The vibe takes me back 10 years when my friends and I went nuts over every scrap of paper and tv spot we saw in the weeks before FOTR. It's a good time to be a movie geek. And I embrace it.
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Dec. 1, 2012, 7:32 p.m. CST
The thing that shocked me most about that 7.5 minute fan-edited chronological trailer that hit a couple weeks ago...
by TheSeeker7
I mean I thought I'd been keeping up fairly well on all the news, but I'd had no friggin idea that THAT MUCH footage had officially been released to the public. There was a ton in that thing I'd never seen at all.
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Harry just cracks me up sometimes. :)
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Dec. 1, 2012, 8:05 p.m. CST
The poster and that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer commercial bit....
by ufoclub1977
The BNAT14 poster (apparently modeled after the 1977 version of The Hobbit) and that bit of commercial left in the youtube clip... Just make me realize once again the brilliance of Rankin & Bass. I've got their edition of The Hobbit (illustrated). And have the DVD of that cartoon. That was some solid style.
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I actually had to watch it a second time because I didn't even notice the dragon the first time around, I mean I noticed it, but my brain didn't bother to register it as anything and I just kind of glossed past it the first time.
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I'm confused...
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I'll still see the movie, and I'll probably love it, but I'm still bugged by the way some of the dwarves look in the movie. Some of them are practically - gasp! - beardless! Maybe they're just coming into puberty.
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Dec. 1, 2012, 9:10 p.m. CST
Re-read the book to my son. We are both way too amped to see this.
by Mel Garga
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Dec. 1, 2012, 9:12 p.m. CST
I only just now realized that Gandalf's sleigh isn't being pulled by giant rabbits
by Crobran
I always thought that's what was going on, that shot goes by so fast. Count me a little relieved. But what IS pulling the sleigh?
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You actually forced your son to hear the actual book, read? Like, that would take DAYS and TIME and he'd actually have to use his mind to picture everything instead of letting WETA's awesome technology SHOW him, which is way easier! Good on you. We're making our daughter read it before she can see the movie too. It's so much better to "see" your own interpretation of a story before you see someone else's, especially hollywood's.
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No one has ever shown footage from the third movie of a trilogy in a trailer for the first.
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It's Radagast.
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By cracky, you're right - and it would make sense for him to have animals frolicking all about him. Though I'm still not sure those are giant rabbits. I think they're just in the very close foreground.
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Dec. 1, 2012, 9:59 p.m. CST
Black people are on Asgard, Eternia.. there were even black Ewoks on Endor! But NONE in middle earth!
by Cotton_Mcknight
Can someone please tell me why this its, other than PJ being a racist??????!?!? Think about it.
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Yes there were, but they were all from the very far south, and as I understand it, most of them joined Sauron's army.
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Dec. 1, 2012, 10:04 p.m. CST
The black ewok's name was Leektar. He played percussion. But there are no black people or Asians in middle earth. This can only mean one thing:
by Cotton_Mcknight
Peter Jackson = racist.
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Dec. 1, 2012, 10:07 p.m. CST
Crisp/Cotton: When my son saw the trailer he said, "Holy shit, pop, Bilbo's white?"
by Mel Garga
Must have been all the pipe weed.
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In The Two Towers, during the short raid when Frodo & Sam see their first Oliphaunt, just before Faramir captures them. So yeah, they're in there, but they're bad guys. That's also not PJ's interpretation - it's the way Tolkien wrote the stories. Some people have asked if Tolkien was racist, but Tolkien wrote about the segregation in South Africa like he felt that it was a bad thing, so he probably wasn't racist.
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Could also be due to the fact that hobbits are described as having "long clever brown fingers."
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Re-read the books and you'll see that several of the races that come up from the south are described as brown-skinned AND black-skinned. But yes, Jackson is just telling the story as Tolkien wrote it.
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I have the official movie guide and, yes, they are giant rabbits. It says it was PJ's idea. Personally I think it's kind of cool.
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Think about it.
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Ya know, the one that was driving the elephant? The one that Eomer threw a spear through? Oh, wait. That doesn't exactly relieve PJ of the accusations of racism, does it?
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Dec. 1, 2012, 11:27 p.m. CST
Peter made your wedding invite video but he won't let you see The Hobbit for BNAT? uh huh.
by AntonStark
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And that's kind of sad.
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I've wondered before if Tolkien wasn't imagining the Negrito when he wrote the Hobbit.
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Dec. 1, 2012, 11:59 p.m. CST
Don't feed the troll. He doesn't care any more for black folks than he does for white folks. He's just a cunt who trolls.
by tom
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How can you guys have so much faith in Jackson? Didn't you see the last three movies? They were all duds. I respect that he tries, but the guy has made nothing good since The Frighteners. I really like the source material, so it isn't that I don't get fantasy. It is just that Jackson has shown he cannot do the genre justice.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 12:25 a.m. CST
ACELDAMA, can you point out a fantasy film(s) that you think do the genre justice?
by uberfreak
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Dec. 2, 2012, 2:08 a.m. CST
aceldama just made the worst comment in talkback history
by TheDarkPassenger
poor, poor performance my man
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Definitely one of the top ten saddest talkbackers. When your "shtick" is calling out a director for being a racist just to get a rise out of people, you know your life has little meaning.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 3:04 a.m. CST
funny that cotton mc knight should be trolling in a hobbit thread.... this dopey cunt is on every jackson thread.
by sam jacksons wig
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.... LOTRs trilogy helped put fantasy back on the map!!!!
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....so far, from what we've seen, it has: 13 dwarves 1 wizard A hobbit named Bilbo An unexpected dinner. A large map A key 3 trolls (not including cotton mckight) The discovery of elvish weapons in the troll cave Rivendell Being kidnapped on a mountain pass Rock giants A fight with goblins The Goblin King Riddles in the dark the discovery of the one ring Escape from the misty mountains Stuck up trees, surrounded by wargs and goblins Saved by eagles...... ...Oh, and a couple of songs. So, how is that NOT like the book? Everything there is pretty much IN the book. Jackson will add his own flourishes, to be sure, as this is "film" and not the written word. I love Tolkien and his works, but I wouldn't like everything verbatim in a movie, it would not work.
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d.vader, remember back in the thread when everyone was whining and saying how can you stretch the material out to three films? I think it was you and I that said amongst other things that Jackson could show the destruction of Erebor, this trailer proves - WE WERE RIGHT! Suck it suckers. And fuck you cotton - you're hardly a fucking Black Panther more like the fucking Pink Panther you queer boy.
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after 6 TV spots, Im done viewing anything else form this movie. I feel like I've seen all I need to in order to get a feel for the film with out entirely spoiling the visual feast. Since the premier, I've refrained from viewing any more
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:32 a.m. CST
Loathe the color styling in this one. Middle Earth should feel more palpable,
by Dingbatty
less like a Thomas Kinkade (though, oddly, he did backgrounds on Fire and Ice, but his surreal palette worked better with 70's esque S&S).
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:32 a.m. CST
First reviews of the hobbit have been tricklin in for couple days..
by Darren
Here's a particularly notable one and more than a little worrying- "Like all unexpected journeys, there are a few pitfalls along the way, most notably the tangential subplot surrounding bumbling wizard Radagast the Brown (Sylvester McCoy), whose buffoonery at times descends into JAR JAR BINKS territory. Make of that what you will; I’m not going to be too worried about it." No, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Please NO!
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dazzler, I read about this too in this article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/2012/nov/30/the-hobbit-an-unexpected-journey-review Ethan Sacks, the guy who made the comment was the celeb tittle-tatle columnist from the New York Daily News, and he since removed the comment - bizzare?!! *Weirdest of all is that when I first read the review, at around 11pm last night, it suggested that the portrayal of wizard Radagast the Brown by Sylvester McCoy, "descends into Jar Jar Binks territory". The comment was picked up across the blogosphere overnight, but has since mysteriously disappeared from Sacks' verdict as if suddenly slipping on its own ring of invisibility. It's also notable that the man the News apparently flew all the way to Wellington for the most important premiere this decade does not appear to be the paper's go-to film critic: recent previous articles include pieces on a pop single by the numerous children of "Octomom" Nadya Suleman and one on Jessica Simpson's recent weight loss. Roger Ebert this ain't.*
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he's that wooden.
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Congratulations. You've proved to me that your generation is every bit as spoiled, jaded, and entitled as I always suspected. You grow up with these visually amazing movies and you still manage to complain? What- you would rather have awful looking stop motion, static matte paintings, and optical blue screen work with obvious matte lines everywhere? Romanticize Harryhausen all you want. It's fun to go back and watch those classics, but dont fool yourself into believing its any more visually engrossing than CG. There was a time in the relative infancy of CG in films that I might have agreed, but that has long since evolved. If you honestly believe films today look like a video game you might want to get you eyes checked or return your game console to whatever decade in the future you got it. In the meantime find some passion in life because it doesn't sound to me like anything would make you happy.<p> Seriously- We are getting a AAA movie of the Hobbit after all this time the crappy cartoon was the only place you could see that amazing story on film and there are people that can honestly complain and not feel like a giant breathing asshole about it?<p> And I apologize about the tirade. I typed it all and I'll be damned if I cancel now.
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hahahahaha :-)
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:44 a.m. CST
Playkins, I'm looking forward to this picture as well, but...
by Monnie Knapp
No reason to rag on the classic Rankin-Bass animated film. It's no Last Unicorn (my favorite of the Rankin-Bass set) but it's still a fun film. The Return of the King was better, in my opinion, with it's hip tunes "Frodo of the Nine Fingers" and "Where There's a Whip There's a Way." Or the one that goes, "Win the battle lose the war, Choice of evil falls before your feet, (ba-ba-ba-bu-bum), Retreat! Retreat! Retreat!" No matter how many years I tack on, the old Rankin-Bass cartoons always bring a smile and can even muster a tear or two. Flight of Dragons is awesome too, I had that one recorded on VHS years ago, but I haven't seen it since. It features the voices of James Earl Jones, Harry Morgan and John Ritter. Jones, in particular, is awesome as Obidon, the villain of the piece. Anyhow, my point is: they may not feature Disney level animation, but these old cartoons still hold up as fun family movies that need not be compared with CG laden pictures of our current era.
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If his last two films had been very good, I would have given him the benefit of the doubt. But they were steaming piles. Lovely Bones? Omfg. King Kong? Fuck off. The Jackson felating fanboys here need to wake up and smell the coffee. The Jackson of ten years ago no longer exists. He's become obsessed with pwetty images on fancy computers. He cares more about frame rates than in characters. Why the hell does an exiled dwarf (Thorin) have shampooed hair that has been blow dried for good measure? Why do some of the dwarves look like good looking HUMANS? Why is Radagast a goofball? Why is every frame so fucking bright like the Star Wars prequels? And it is video-gamey looking, that is a fact. What a fucking tragedy we will never see del Toro's The Hobbit.
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On acid. If you didn't like it the first time try it again with LSD, you'll discover a much deeper understanding of Jackson's vision. Jack Black is hilarious (so is everything else), the CGI effects are incredible and the run time flys by like nothing. This technique works for nearly every film in existence.
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fuck this is boring get off the island already... fuck this is worse get back on the island.
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KING KONG theatrical cut should have been the extended home edition. It would have felt like a more fun movie 20 mins shorter.
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There are two L's in fellating. Maybe it'll be a disappointment, maybe it won't. I for one will decide AFTER seeing it. Matinees are only $6 here in the Georgia boonies; no big loss if it's a stinker. You're definitely right about Kong, in my opinion; it was shit. I'll give you that.
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Keep shoving your head up del Toros ass ... you'll see his *hobbit* soon enough! Thanks for the delineation ... Fellating Jackson is a no-no ... Fellating del Toro, yes please, may I have some more.
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I can only hope that the smart kids of today realize there was a time when movies relied heavily on good intelligent stories over the next dazzling display of fireworks. I read comics a lot, it's my forte since I'm a comic artist myself. And what's fascinating to me is to go back and read the old shit, I mean the shit before they became more digital and extreeeeeeeme with the muscles, prettymuch before todd mcfarlane came along. Boy was I missing out. Stan Lee increased my vocabulary more with those old comics than I would ever have with any of today's shit. Are comics today better? Yes they're much better art works that look less cartoony and have more detail... but I think they tried harder to write better stories back in the old days, same with movies.
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Harry. You REALLY watched that commercial 50 times? Really? Why? I watched it once. That was enough.
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=either the worst troll ever to type on a keyboard or the dumbest motherfucker in the solar system.
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Glad to see someone else felt the same way. The EE KK feels a lot shorter and smoother than the theatrical version.
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Man, you guys sound like twats. I agree with all the others that I will judge it when I see it, but I am thinking it looks pretty good so far. I used to be like you guys, sullen, depressing, complaining about any slight change in source material when they would make a movie from a book. Now, I actually have the experience and, dare I say, wisdom?, to understand that changes, if they are there, sometimes simply work better. I was one that was originally mad at the change in Faramir from the original story. I read an article with PJ where he stated that it did not make sense that this all powerful ring, that corrupts everything and everyone, somehow had no sway on Faramir. So they jazzed up that character a little bit and gave him more of a personality. Makes sense to me, so I now give PJ the benefit of the doubt on this stuff. But to call the first three movies "duds"? To call them "unintelligent", where it appears that PJ is foresaking intelligent story for CGI - you have no basis for making that statement. And you know what? I now enjoy the hell out of a lot more stuff now that I am not a hypercrytical asshole. Perhaps that happened when my kids came along, and they see things through untainted eyes. I am not sure why a few people always feel so entitled to rag on anything and everything they see. Those people come across as being pretty miserable cunts.
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You are quite right, to put everything literally into the LOTR films would not work. The Hobbit however easily could because of its brevity. They originally stretched it into two films as a cash grab, make no mistake. Three (regardless of the appendices material and work to tie it inot LOTR) is just silly greed. That's what extended version DVDs are made for. They may has well have stretched 'Lord of the Flies' into a trilogy, which is roughly the same length However the previous talkbacker who said the Hobbit film won't be like the book is very right. Peter Jackson fucked up the LOTR trilogy at many points. There was no sensible need to: **Replace Glorfindel with Galadriel (that was solely to attract a larger female audience and sell action figures). It certainly wasn't done to save on payroll; **Screw up Eowyn's character in such a major way (thank God he didn't use the deleted scene of Eowyn in the camp without her helmet talking to Merry or the travesty would have been much worse.) And I was so looking forward to her speech when she killed the Witch King...and all we got was 'I am no man' bullshit. An incredibly pivotal point in the ROTK book (i.e. the whole Battle on Pellenor Fields could have gone the other way if he'd survived...and remember she was the only one that could kill him). Jackson just plain fucked it up. 'I am no man'...please, give me a fucking break; **Remove the Scouring of the Shire and put the killing of Saruman and Grima in the second film. The book was supposed to end dark and somber, and the Scouring of the Shire would have certainly helped the film to deliver the same instead of the Samwise wedding gayness; **Give Aragorn the sword of Elendil later in the films when he actually should have just been carrying the broken blade from his first scene in Bree. Again, why?; **Remove the Barrow Wights and Tom Bombadil. This was purely lazy screenwriting / film making; **..etc, etc. I could go on. Jackson didn't do any of that to cut time, these examples could have all easily been squeezed in. These are all senseless changes to a classic story just so he could put more of his stamp on it a sell a little bit more merchandise. Quite pathetic actually when you consider the honour he was given by being allowed to film them in the first place. And he's already done some totally unnecessary changes with the Hobbit: **He's created a female elf (Evangeline Lilly: Tauriel) character just to appeal to the female demographic and sell more action figures; **He's included Legolas as a character in Mirkwood when the dwarves get nabbed. Honestly, what the fuck for? You can already buy a Legolas action figure at Toys-R-Us and it's not like Orlando is hurting for work; **He's given Thorin's dad and Radaghast actual screen time instead of just mentioning them as they should have. These were just to pad out a very thin book, and sell a couple more action figures. So we already know he's fucked them up and they haven't even been released. These are just the ones I/we know of. You can guarantee there will be a couple dozen more completely unnecessary changes (i.e. 'fuck ups' and 'pissing on the source material') in the films when they roll. I highly appreciate that the books and some of the appendices have finally made it to live action films...but change for change sake is just poor film-making, disrespectful to amazing source material and insulting to the true fans.
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I remember them in an interviewing saying they brightened how it looks, ie. red looks more red and green looks more green, because when you see it in 3D the colors fade somewhat. I think they will process the colors AFTER the theatrical release for the Blu-Ray, and so on. Looks fun. I expect 4 star reviews all around. Should be just one film though. Not three. But hey, it won't be that hard to come up with some s made up entertainment set in Middle-Earth, would it? ALSO. ENTERTAINMENT AND ART DOES NOT GET WORSE BY TIME. Crap films have always existed. You just don't remember them.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 12:13 p.m. CST
pull the reins in just a bit...easy...remember this is the first of three right?
by 77AD
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Dec. 2, 2012, 12:24 p.m. CST
At least half of this LOTR changes list was totally unnecessary:
by leroyspoboys
http://www.theonering.com/complete-list-of-film-changes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 12:36 p.m. CST
Harry looks like one of the monsters from Where The Wild Things Are
by Bobo_Vision
And his likeness in that poster does, too.
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i still aint sold that this can be stretched to three movies without a WHOLE lot of LONG 'lovingly' shots of the shire and wherever the fuck the elves live that take will 30 minutes without any damn dialogue or action other than watching a leaf blow but i will withhold judgement until i see the thing
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It was my feeling from the book and the past movies, animated films, etc, that Bilbo and the Hobbits were a more tentative and less aggressive race of people. Freeman seems to be playing Bilbo with assertiveness that belies my interpretation. Anybody else feel that way? (I realize it may just be for that part of the film in the clip, and not all throughout the movie)
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I'll wait till the theatrical release for a viewing in 48 FPS, for now I just wanna see the movie like a normal fucking human being. I worry that if I saw in in 48 FPS first the absence of motion blur and the over-the-top, even-pores-are-visible clarity would ruin my experience. I'll go back and see it in HFR, if only to see what Jackson and Cameron are going on about, but I can't say I'm terribly excited to. I'd be glad to be proven wrong.
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Bilbo, in the books, is shown to represent both the Baggins family and the Took family. His Baggins side is the reserved, more tentative part of his character, while the Took side is the more adventurous part. I'm guessing we'll see Freeman's interpretation cover both sides of the coin, as it were.
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leroyspoboys, you've seen how much the whiners complained about the multiple endings of ROTK? Imagine how many more complaints Tom Bombadillo Down By The Willow would have caused! An extra lengthy sojourn in the already very long FOTR? A meeting with a bizarro character that stops the plot dead in its tracks? All that sense of urgency carefully built up with the Hobbits trying to make it to Rivendell alive sacrificed for 20 minutes spent in the company of Tom Bombadil the wood faerie? Nope, in this case you are wrong and Peter Jackson was right.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 1:38 p.m. CST
Tom Bombadil would have been fucking awful in a live action film. This was ten years ago. Grow up and move on, inbreds.
by golden tribw
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Yep - Flight of Dragons IS amazing.
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goldentribe, I agree. Smaug is only in this commercial in so much as we see a spurt of fire and a split second glimpse of a scaly wing! Maybe in the first movie they wont show Smaug clearly? They might hold the full reveal over till the second film?
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Dec. 2, 2012, 2:06 p.m. CST
Take it to the bank: Smaug will not be revealed until the second film...
by Mr. Nice Gaius
..."The Desolation of Smaug". Whatever they're showing us here is most likely glimpses from flashbacks as told by the dwarves.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 2:10 p.m. CST
That BNAT poster looks like Ernie Chan inked it. Very nice Johnny.
by Lakewater
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Sigh...Maybe I'll wind up liking them, but it's not canon. There are, however, giant birds and spiders, so hey, why not rabbits?
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Sigh...Maybe I'll wind up liking them, but it's not canon. There are, however, giant birds and spiders, so hey, why not rabbits?
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.... but he can't catch up with the DVD column? I give up. Harry is the laziest person I have ever encountered and AICN has gone totally down the shitter. Because of him.
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There is PLENTY of material in The Hobbit and outside to stretch into 3 movies. Its not even "stretching", its supplementing. Looks like we will get the destruction of Erebor. And I bet that army scene is the Battle of Azanulbizar, an important battle between Dwarves and Orcs that sets up a lot of the animosity towards one another and sets up Thorin's relationship with Dain II. Anyway, I bet we'll get that awesome battle as a Prologue the way we got The Last Alliance of Men and Elves against Sauron in FOTR. And I bet we'll get the destruction of Erebor as a story being told at Bag End by Bilbo.
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Looks like LOTR 4. Pass.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:07 p.m. CST
And ill bet we get a ten minute close up of bread crumbs in Filis beard!
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
fucking dweebs. making excuses for jackson. king king sucked. the last two lotr movies were so fucking long and self indulgent that it ALMOST derailed the excellence of the first one pj must have murdered his editor after fellowship hobbit is one fucking book and he is unnaturally extending it to three. two i could live with but three? and to show the dragon and then possibly play bait and switch and to have dweebs defend that? lemmesee if i gto dis straight tom bombadil - who i could give two shits about could not be squeezed into a fucking 9 hour trilogy cause it might have made it even longer, but a book that probably could be made into two movies but is crassly being stretched to a turd er third is okey dokey cause you trust pj who never met a close up he could not extend to 15 min get defuck outt her i will reserve judgment until i see the thang but pj's record is against him
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:09 p.m. CST
yeah leave it to the whiny ass banned/canned to whine about the dvd column - yet again, but ill bet he says its only because he 'cares' about the site and aint really a troll with no life
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
get defuck outta here
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BZZZZZzzzzz. Thanks for playing. Now, move the fuck along.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:33 p.m. CST
mng - docpaz is callng he wants his persona back, er you want your persona back er fuck it you all fucked up
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
now roll wit dat and lets get dis shit started
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:35 p.m. CST
muthafukas complian about dis place not being like it was so fuk it gool ol skoll flame war comin up if mng thinks he can rock wit me
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
i doubt it
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:38 p.m. CST
yeah im callin all yall out bring your posee and multiple personalities and phony fake ass perpatratin mofos pretending to wear the flag and pretendin to be someone else lets fukken rock
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
im spoilin for a rumble right NOW
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Louder, bitch. I can't hear you.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:42 p.m. CST
where you live mng? sweden, london, indy?
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:43 p.m. CST
thats cause im ear fucking you -giddy up
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Why?
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:49 p.m. CST
can you hear me now? i took my dick out of your ear hole - damn lot of wax bitch
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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...die.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:51 p.m. CST
you aint holdin up you r end of the flame war mng -go reboot to another one of your personas ill wait
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
or go summon some help
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:53 p.m. CST
wow -what a retort what a rejoinder what an amazing comeback! he told me to die that aint charitable for someone i generously ear hole fucked just moments ago
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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MNG. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:58 p.m. CST
you mean you only have one pussy ass persona mng -you live it
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 4:59 p.m. CST
Wow! I do believe the Kobester is trying to tickle my balls.
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Oh my!
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:01 p.m. CST
bet you wont ever talk shit to me again when i never addressed you in the first place you drippy bitch but you are showing the whole tb what a bitch you are by ducking and bobbing and weaving IM CALLING YOU OUT BITCH!
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
put up or shut defuck up and NEVER talkback to me again
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:02 p.m. CST
ahh, i get it now, you hope ill get banned and that your shame will disappear!
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
nice try nice gayus
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:05 p.m. CST
that is some weak ass pussy juice mng
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:08 p.m. CST
your only hope to avoid embarassment is for me to get banned and my post showing the pussy you are to disappear - swhat kind of men do they grow in va? pussified ones
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:09 p.m. CST
ill bet your buddies will tell you that you won, that will make you feel better wont it bubbeh
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:09 p.m. CST
HA! That's some funny shit, Kobes. I don't want you banned...
by Mr. Nice Gaius
...that's stupid. How else would folks know who I owned?
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:13 p.m. CST
imma take a break for a lil while seeing as mng is a pussy, but feel free to bash me while im gone and caint respond - you my earhole bitch
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:14 p.m. CST
you owned my jizz in your earhole bitch - you def owned that
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Almost made me nostalgic for the old days. Bitch.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:16 p.m. CST
aint left bitch - im enjoying that tight earhole of yours emmm good
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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...(!)
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:18 p.m. CST
not to toot my own horn but you aint had one comeback i crushed you without even trying and that is sad cause i heard for years how you thought yourself some hot shit but you aint even luke warm shit
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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...huh?!?! Whazzat?!
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:21 p.m. CST
damn caint put my finger on it but reminds of another dickweed who when confronted with superior firepower refused to engage and tried to cliam the 'high' ground and say he won when everyone could see he was too chicken shit to even engage let alone win w
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:23 p.m. CST
yup - bitch , i got all night here and that earhole is all lubed up imma fuck it again and cum out the other side
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:37 p.m. CST
OK. So, that's four posts where you've said jack shit.
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Keep 'em coming, Kobes. A few more and you may actually get my attention.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:43 p.m. CST
and um how MANY posts where you said fuck all while my dick earhole fucked you and shot waxy jizz across your face?
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Give it your best shot...cause the tingle is going away...
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:46 p.m. CST
bawk bawk bawk beeeyotch! mng is a beeeyotch! mng is a beeeyotch!
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:47 p.m. CST
im waiting for ONE just ONE comeback from you -just ONE you can do it bubbeh youve said for years how you flamed so and so
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:50 p.m. CST
this time i am stepping away feel free to claim 'victory' and thank me for participating - as if you earhole stretched bitch your earhole is mine!
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 5:56 p.m. CST
"I'm going HOBBIT crazy... I am." - I'm not.... Read the book once too many times. That's why.
by TheKiller7
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:01 p.m. CST
You've got to have a really tiny penis in order to be able to fuck somebody's earhole. A lot has been revealed here, unwittingly.
by Bobo_Vision
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I know, right? TMI on ol' Kobes' part. Such is the life of the lonely and pencil-pricked.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:25 p.m. CST
Just got out of Hobbit screening, HOLY SHIIITTTTT!!!!!!!!
by applescruff
It fucking rules.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:32 p.m. CST
thats right i got a pencil dick and i love to fuck earholes. extar long pencil imma fuck bobo and mng ear to ear at same time!
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:33 p.m. CST
bobo - you want some too bubbeh? good cause you been on my list for a while - you done fucked up bobo bubbeh? can i call you bob when i earhole fuck you?
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:34 p.m. CST
bob - your earhole is not as tight as mng's somebody been in h-ear befo you hussy
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Now we're talking!!!
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:40 p.m. CST
i hope hobbit does rule who wants a bad movie- but ill judge with my own two eyes while earhole fucking bob and mng -
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:42 p.m. CST
When Kobe isn't online imagining that he's cyber-raping dudes in their ears...he's in his backyard raping ants with his grain-of-rice sized dick.
by Bobo_Vision
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:43 p.m. CST
i want me some bobby some bobby some bobby V! gimmme dat earhole bitch gimme!
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:45 p.m. CST
it aint rape when you consented to being earhole fucked beyotch! and you know mng is happy that you are taking heat now
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:46 p.m. CST
bob - bobby v. you are no life troll and you have been one for years so im glad you finally decided to crawl out from under de rock cause imm roll you -game on
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:48 p.m. CST
bob - i told you to stop hiding in the urinal taking pics of my timy dick and spreading my business all over while im pissing on your face
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:49 p.m. CST
oh i get it! bob like de golden showers! you perv!
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:52 p.m. CST
bob - ill be back in a little while. do an aural rinse cause and im cumin back
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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Dec. 2, 2012, 6:54 p.m. CST
i hope hobbit rules i really do cause dat book is special to me
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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...even if you are coming on here and saying it's not showing, I can see why people think you're just kidding and WILL be showing it. Expect pissed off people if you don't show it!
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Dec. 2, 2012, 8:04 p.m. CST
Pipple, if you really think these movies are like video games
by D.Vader
And don't have intelligent stories, then you are deluded.
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Have some hot Man-On-Elf (of, Istari-On Elf) action? Regardless.. I'll be there, first row. (Almost said "irregardless" just to piss off you grammar nazis)
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Not only did you get details wrong (replacing Glorfindel with Galadriel), but almost all the things you want in the movie WOULD NOT HAVE WORKED IN THE MOVIE AT ALL.
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What a ridiculously stupid comment, leroyspoboys. "Samwise wedding gayness" indeed.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 8:14 p.m. CST
Removing the Barrow Wights and Tom Bombadil is "lazy screenwriting", leroy says
by D.Vader
Clearly, leroyspoboys has absolutely know clue as to how to craft a screenplay or make a movie. If he could enlighten all of us how the Barrow Wights and Tom Bombadil would have made an impact on the finished films, I'd gladly take my statement back. But as it stands, all he did was lob a purely lazy criticism bc his favorite parts from the book weren't in the movies.
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Spotted that but we don't have an edit function here. As far as the rest, if it's wrong, what's wrong with it?
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Here's how what Jackson excised from the books was a change for the better: Glorfindel/Arwen- Replacing Glorfindel with Arwen means we don't introduce the audience to yet another character (when the cast is huge already), especially a character who does not appear anywhere else in the films. And it gives Arwen something to do other than stand around waiting to be a trophy prize for Aragorn at the end of ROTK. The first Elf the Hobbits see and meet should be something special, not Glorfindel who rescues Frodo, appears to be important, and then never turns up again. Eowyn- I'm not sure how her character was "screwed up" considering all Jackson did was remove a lot of her speech to the Witch King before he attacks (which could come across like "Why is he wasting time listening to her when he could just kill her now?"), and the "I am no man," bit is just paraphrased from the actual line in the book and works as a great audience moment, something good and happy in the midst of this terrible battle where the heroes are losing. Eowyn wasn't screwed up. She just had her speech, a speech amongst many in the film, reduced. Scouring of the Shire- This has been debated numerous times, but leaving this in the film would have been an extra half hour, another ending after a series of endings. The audience wouldn't stand for it. And calling Sam's wedding "gayness" just looks ignorant. **Give Aragorn the sword of Elendil later in the films when he actually should have just been carrying the broken blade from his first scene in Bree. Again, why?; Shards of Narsil- It makes no sense for the Ranger to carry a bunch of noisy shards around with him in the wild, especially ones as important as that sword. It works in the books, but it wouldn't work so well in the film. Putting the shards in Rivendell and displaying them is a fantastic visual cue to the audience for how *important* these shards are to the history of Middle-Earth. You wouldn't get that if they're shown to just be carried around by Aragorn. And when its reforged as Anduril in ROTK, it works as a moment of hope in an otherwise hopeless situation. **Remove the Barrow Wights and Tom Bombadil. This was purely lazy screenwriting / film making; Barrow-Wights/Tom Bombadil- These excursions would just be a waste of time in the film, prolonging the Hobbits meeting with Aragorn and the REAL meat of the story, which is getting rid of the Ring. Its an unnecessary detour in the film world. Also, the Barrow-Wights' inherent creepiness and corpse-look would take away from the visual power the Nazgul have onscreen. Saying these were cut bc Peter Jackson was "lazy" is wholly inaccurate. Keeping them IN would have been lazy bc it would show he was more interested in keeping scenes from the book rather than thinking creatively and trying to solve problems and do what's best for the onscreen story. "Jackson didn't do any of that to cut time, these examples could have all easily been squeezed in." Yes he did. And no they could not have been. "These are all senseless changes to a classic story just so he could put more of his stamp on it a sell a little bit more merchandise." That's complete hogwash. Now for your criticisms of The Hobbit! Tauriel- God forbid he put a female into this story. Legolas- Have you read the story? The Dwarves get captured by Legolas's dad. It makes COMPLETE SENSE that Legolas would be there too. Thorin's dad and Radagast- You're actually complaining about getting to see these characters??? Look, you can be disappointed that your favorite parts from the book aren't included, I get that. But to insult PJ and insinuate he did it only for merchandise money or to "piss on the source material" or is "poor film-making" shows that you really just do not get it.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 9:37 p.m. CST
vader -dat was a good defense of Pj's reason as you see it, but riddle me this: why is fellowship head and shoulders better than Tt or rotk?
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
It is because Pj stayed closest to the book in fellowship. yeah i get it film is different than written word and pj had every right as a director to bring his vision and a cinematic approach to it. but it aint no coinkydence that Tt and rotk suffered mightily in comparison to fellowship and that aint just me saying it and the biggest reason is that Pj strayed too far from the source and decided to put too much of his own stamp on it. it not only pissed off hardcore fans it caused casual fans to look at their watches and wonder when it would ever end and i generally liked Tt and rotk but damned if that boy should have had someone riding herd on him like someone must have with fellowship - or maybe he was so interested in getting it right he did not over indulge hisself - which came full blown in king kong which ate beetle balls. fellowship is one of the greatest fantasy movies of all time and Pj deserves credit but the boy aint perfect and his last three fantasy movies show what happens when he over indulges hisself and no one holds him accountable -feel free to disagree and write a dissertation about it. i aint that hardcore a fan of the books or movies that i could go point by point with you but so what? i know what like and dont like
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Although I skipped over The Hobbit part. Haven't read the book in many years so I'm going to take in the story again as the movie version and double back and reread the book later.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 9:55 p.m. CST
@hey_kobe, another reason why Fellowship is the best film of the three --
by Hardboiled Wonderland
because it's the best book of the three, which took over a decade to write, and there was a little war interrupted Tolkien's writing (which dramatically affected the story and author). The second and third books never matched the strength of the first book, in my opinion, and this translated to the big screen.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 9:57 p.m. CST
this is why I personally think The Hobbit is going to be better than the LOTRO trilogy
by Hardboiled Wonderland
It's a big Fellowship-style old fashioned quest-adventure.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 10:02 p.m. CST
I think when all is said and done, my favorite of the three LOTR films is The Two Towers
by lv_426
As awesome as ROTK is, TT felt more like something we hadn't seen yet at that time. Epic fantasy war on the scale of a proper big budget historical opus. The Battle of Helm's Deep is a bit more iconic and epic for me compared to the final battle in ROTK. I love the whole trilogy though. The first time seeing each of the three films in the theater have been some of the best moviegoing experiences of my life. I had read and loved LOTR and The Hobbit a few years before the Rings films were released, so going into FOTR was just amazing seeing it come to life on the big screen. TT was as I said, an epic of fantasy the likes of which we'd never really seen portrayed in cinema up to that point. ROTK was just a great conclusion that while maybe a little long (the extended edition), was just so great seeing it on the big screen in a packed house. Call me crazy but I loved the drawn out epilogue. I think the film earned it, as it wasn't just ending the third film, but the ROTK's epilogue was serving as an ending for the whole trilogy. I remember seeing it in the theater and the audience groaned and laughed (probably because they had to pee, as did I but I held it in so as not to miss anything) as it faded out and into another ending scene. Those kinds of things are all part of the fun and what makes going to the theater to see a flick memorable. Don't get me wrong, LOTR isn't perfect and it changes stuff or rearranges stuff from Tolkien's books, but it does so much right and is greatly entertaining and epic that it just feels like a miracle that the whole darn trilogy got made all at once like that without falling apart somewhere along the lines (I'm thinking more on logistical and financial terms here). Now, the LOTR trilogy isn't my favorite fantasy film, but it is one of the best.* Rings on film was just such a big event too. It was along with The Matrix trilogy, the films that pretty much defined genre cinema for the past decade (2000-2010). * That'd be Willow. Okay, I'm joking, although I do love Willow too. Seriously though, it would be Legend. I think Ridley Scott's Legend is an amazing piece of work, and not just amazing for fantasy genre cinema, but in terms of just pure cinema. I think Legend could perhaps be seen as a more important work eventually, not unlike Blade Runner getting recognized years after its initial debut.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 10:04 p.m. CST
hardboiled - great point about lotr and hobbit
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
You may be right but given that hobbit is one book not to mention a more light hearted although not childish tale i am taking a wait and see .three movies is a strech given pjs uh proclivities for over indulgence i love the hobbit one of my first books so i hope he nails all three movies
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Dec. 2, 2012, 10:06 p.m. CST
d.vader -- I'd certainly love to see stuff like Tom Bombadil, Barrow Wights, and The Scouring of the Shire put to film
by lv_426
Let's say PJ and the crew had extra time and money to film it just for the EE DVD's or as extra scenes we could watch. You're right about them being in the films though. That stuff is the kind of extraneous padding that can be fun and add to the overall milieu of a novel, but in film it just drags the story to a halt.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 10:08 p.m. CST
I remember the Barrow Wights stuff being really eerie feeling in the book
by lv_426
So that would have been cool to see on film just to see it for the sake of seeing it. I guess it is like the cocoon scene in Alien. Cool, and creepy and adds a bit to the world building of the fictional milieu, but not necessary to the plot and possibly damaging to the pacing of the film.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 10:12 p.m. CST
hardboiled wonderland -- yeah, FOTR is an adventure while TT and ROTK are more like medieval fantasy war films
by lv_426
It is like when watching Game of Thrones, the parts that feel the most like Lord of the Rings are akin to the stuff we see in TT and ROTK. I do love a good rollicking fantasy adventure romp. That is why I love Conan the Barbarian (Schwarzenegger/Milius version) and Legend.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 10:17 p.m. CST
Yeah, I just think Tolkien decided to write a different book after finishing Fellowship.
by Hardboiled Wonderland
He pretty much said that in interviews as well, and WWII played a part in that. It's akin to George RR Martin suddenly killing off the bad guys and letting the good guys win some! I still enjoyed Two Towers (the Rohirrim set pieces were magical) and King, but that narrative which forced the Fellowship apart -- the group dynamic was lost and the films lost that zip and spark which made the first one so energetic and engaging. Totally different films tonally, exactly like the books. Although I hated the warg/Aragorn MIA scenes! And Eowyn's "I'm no man!" line in King.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 10:20 p.m. CST
At the end of the day, LOTRO got a helluva a lot more right than it did wrong.
by Hardboiled Wonderland
I saw Terry Pratchett after Return of the King came out, and instead of talking about his books for an hour (which we'd paid good money for the tickets to hear), he bitched and moaned like a bitter old man how Peter Jackson "raped his childhood". It was like being at a live AICN talkback, and it was pretty sad really. Hey Terry -- Sean Astin, who ruined Samwise for you, also ruined that shitfest Colour of Magic telemovie. That's YOU, dickhead.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 10:23 p.m. CST
ROTK has some of the best and some of the silliest moments in the whole trilogy
by lv_426
As you said hardboiled wonderland, Eowyn's *I'm no man!* line, but then we have the epicness of the lighting of the signal fires as an example of something just great. Also, the ghost army was just not my thing really.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 10:28 p.m. CST
Totally agree, lv_426! The ghost army didn't do it for me either
by Hardboiled Wonderland
I hated how the undead army just looked like a green mist that moved too quickly. But yeah, the lighting of the signal fires, Sam and Frodo being carried by the eagles, Aragorn telling the hobbits "you bow to no one"... absolutely magical and perfect.
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I get the impression that most SF/F authors hate SF/F cinema. Even when they do say blog or speak about a SF/F show or film they actually enjoyed, they seen to still bitch and moan about it. It just seems odd to me, as I got into SF/F first through film and TV shows (Alien, Terminator, Star Trek, etc), then took a look at some SF/F books to see what they had to offer for the genre. I think that books and films in any genre (horror, sci-fi, thriller/action, historical) can do things that the other medium can't. Books can be more detail oriented, have a more stream of consciousness link into the minds of the character(s). Books are more flexible on how long a story can be. They can be more of an ensemble than films, with lots of characters (the reason why Game of Thrones has to be a show and not a movie, all those freaking characters). On the other hand, films can show us stuff that is really hard to convey on the page, or just doesn't have the effect or emotional sweep that it would have on film. For example, seeing the opening shot of the hades industrial landscape in Blade Runner, or so many moments in a classic like Lawrence of Arabia. How about the chestburster scene in Alien? Experiencing those moments in cinematic terms is going to win over reading about it in a book. It is like comparing films to video games. Different mediums, each with specific strengths and weaknesses. So to me, this snotty attitude that many authors have towards cinematic SF/F does not exist in my dojo. I have a bookshelf against one wall, and a flatscreen with a movie collection and game systems against the other wall. Tell me a good story that plays to the strengths of the chosen medium.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 11:13 p.m. CST
First Hobbit review from an 'established source' now online --- and it's positive
by Lorenzo Hernandez
We witness the dragon attack on the Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor.
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Dec. 2, 2012, 11:16 p.m. CST
Hobbit review: Sorry --- I have included the website this time
by Lorenzo Hernandez
http://whichwayisawesome.blogspot.com/
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I was underwhelmed by Reign of Fire, I hope this is the greatest onscreen dragon since Vermithrax.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 1:01 a.m. CST
@lv_426, yeah absolutely agree with you! It was a weird, rambling rant from Mr Pratchett
by Hardboiled Wonderland
But in his defense, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's not soon after. Neil Gaiman had a rambling rant on his blog how the LOTR films ruined his childhood too. We're the lucky ones who enjoyed both the books and the movies, on their own merits! ;)
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http://www.darkhorizons.com/news/25681/first-poster-star-trek-into-darkness
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Bit sad to read that they hated the LOTR films so much, will have to see what they said, as I respect both guys a lot. The books were typically seen as unfilmable and Peter Jackson did a damned good job. Not perfect but then nothing ever is but given the disaster they could have been with some other director and / or studio (didn't Miramax want to make 1 film, yikes), I couldn't be happier and I have loved the books since basically when I could first read. And yes one should have some trepidation about deciding to make the Hobbit into 3 films but if anyone can do a great job, then it's the same team from LOTR. But hey people got bitch and moan I guess.
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http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2001/12/saw-lord-of-rings-last-night-and.asp seemed to like Fellowship fine enough!
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Dec. 3, 2012, 2:50 a.m. CST
Even comicbookmovie site has the star trek poster up. sort it out Harold.
by cameron
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Well played. Pencil-dicked shrilltwats like kobe and thinman and up strangling themselves with their own invective if left to ranting on their own.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 4:05 a.m. CST
kgersen, yeah Neil loved most of Fellowship, but there's another blog post that's not so kind to the other two films.
by Hardboiled Wonderland
Oh well, can't please everyone!
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Dec. 3, 2012, 4:06 a.m. CST
Also, Terry Pratchett was probably jetlagged as hell. And people had been asking him all day what he thought of the LOTR films.
by Hardboiled Wonderland
That must have got on his nerves a bit.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 4:08 a.m. CST
May as well get it over with -- Into Darkness = Matrix/Dark Knight. :P
by Hardboiled Wonderland
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Seriously, WTF? Sure, they have clunky moments every now and then and can seem a bit too sprawling and self-indulgent on occasion, but it's also that go-for-broke attitude of PJ's that on the whole turned them into the utter cinematic triumphs which they still are in almost every respect. The rousing, goosebump moments and scenes of pure heart far outweigh any quibbles regarding a few tin-eared, purple pieces of dialogue or a scene or two going on for a bit longer than what may seem prudent. If you think PJ's LOTR trilogy are terrible movies then I can't take anything you say about any films seriously. Who could?
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Agreed there is a bit of a Dark Knight vibe to it.
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Ah ok, will have to try and dig up Gaiman's comments and your points re Pratchett are understandable. Also have to agree with DocPazuzu with one caveat. If someone says they don't like the fantasy genre and thus don't like Jackson's LoTR films, I can accept. Though it's a shame you don't like the genre, fair enough. But if you claim to love the genre yet find these films shit, I seriously have to question your opinion on anything.
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Agreed.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 7:04 a.m. CST
Totally agree, I don't get how anyone can hate the LOTR films. Dislike some parts, sure... but the trilogy is what we go to the movies to see.
by Hardboiled Wonderland
Pure magic.
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Gaius, Kobe only had an hours use of the puter at his facility so he has to post all his dribble in one go before the assistant puts him back with the other mongoloids.
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I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!
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No, the voice doesn't sound like the Bilbo I hear in my head when I read the book. Visually, the movie looks wonderful.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 9:53 a.m. CST
"well played" docspaz? excuse whilst i chortle
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
see i've been around dis here place long enough to know that when someone is getting flamed and his only comeback is "thank you for playing- oh my balls are tickled - die"' then that means they have no GAME at all and can only hope they appear to have 'risen' above the fray when in truth they are punk azz bishes who got mopped and exposed. so docspaz what're you? you've been posing for years care to rumble with the best there is? yeah im calling you out bubbeh. put away your troll encyclopedia - the one you use to keep track of every shit and its color and size of the people on here you caint stand - you obsessive troll or better yet do some research on kobegeddon and get back to me, cause i will wipe you out anytime you want game on bubbeh
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Dec. 3, 2012, 10:02 a.m. CST
to the coward cobra lai - still attacking when my back is turned -pussy
by Hey_Kobe_Tell_Me_How_My_Ass_Tastes
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*yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwn*
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Your back is always turned kobe, your fave position being gangbanged from behind by the other mongoloids in the common room. Im not suprised youre bitter and twisted, the shit your shitpipe has had to endure over the years cant have been easy. Your stretched asshole must be the size of a storm drain. I pity you, but im also disgusted by you. Youre like a crippled critter. I'd end you with one good whack of a spade and be content that I had done right.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 11:15 a.m. CST
LOTR one of the few trilogies where all three movies rock.
by knowthyself
Love them.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 11:36 a.m. CST
Looking forward to this, but the overall fakiness of just about every single shot is uninspiring
by kevred
Obviously, with a film like this, special effects have to be all over the place, including CG and CG backgrounds. But one thing that I found so wonderful about the LOTR films was how much it felt like you were in a real place much of the time. All those magnificent and real outdoor vistas - the amazing landscape of New Zealand. Running over the hills, through the tall grasses, snow, crossing streams, etc. It felt earthy, real, grounded. But when I see these trailers, it's as though every single frame has been processed as much as physically possible, to the point where no real-seeming landscape or foliage or sky remains. Honestly, it looks more like what I'd expect to see on some crazily over-photoshopped desktop wallpaper web site than in a Tolkien film. I'm sure it's going to be great. Just my personal preference. When the unreality goes this far, I feel less of a connection to it.
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...will be in the Hobbit. There will probably (hopefully?) be a mention of Gondolin but that's already in the Hobbit. PJ has no rights to Sil though it could be argued that there's plenty in the LotR Appendices that mentions it. In fact, it starts out with , "Feanor was the greatest..." Anyhoo, no legal rights for any of it. I didn't see Smaug...only a shadow glimpse. Good! Still relatively spoiler free...WHOO HOO!
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What the hell is that drab olive-greenish-brownish lizard supposed to be? Goddamn it, Peter Jackson has done what I feared: ignored Tolkein's prose and made the dwarfs and dragon "Jim Henson ugly" - that is, made the characters look drab and dull and musty-looking in a sad attempt to make them seem more "edgy" and "adult". SCREW IT!
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Dec. 3, 2012, 12:16 p.m. CST
Feralangel, we're looking at a glimpse of an underside of a dragon...
by D.Vader
He can still be red and his dark body blotting out the sun, thus making him look darker.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 1:35 p.m. CST
Can't wait to see those barely-mobile-in-commercials plastic dwarf faces in full motion!
by Nintendarth
Pass. The chubby dwarf, the really fat one, whoever he is, can't even move his lips - watch the scene where they're spinning dinner plates and observe how completely still his face is as the guy swings his body all around. Guess what, WETA? Jowls aren't static.
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If you're even a microsecond older than six years old, the answer to the above question is always - always - ALWAYS - no.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 1:40 p.m. CST
There was more life and reality in the Rudolph ad after the main bit.
by Nintendarth
At least those characters aren't saying everything as if it's the most important thing they've ever said. Gah, pretentious fantasy is awful.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 1:41 p.m. CST
Oh, and rather than ban me, how about addressing the things I've said?
by Nintendarth
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... and I've stopped reading at 'Feanor.'
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Why wouldn't you?
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I really wonder. I mean, have you ever read a book about: history science technology ethics philosophy economics astronomy ? ? Ever? Read a book, read a book, read a __________' book, not a fantasy, not a Wizard guide, but a book, ______, a ______' book, ______!
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I'm trying to build my own site database - I need your reviews and spoilers of the latest movies. Please email them to content@muviden.com and I'll make sure you get your name on it. If you have a site then I'll provide a link to that too! The site is www.muviden.com
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...Kobe attempts to fuck ear holes (?!) while Nintendarth serves himself a huge slice of fail cake! Tune in to see which of these two mouth-breathers claims the title of AICN's "Most Boorish Cunt"!!!
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Dec. 3, 2012, 2:14 p.m. CST
Looks like Genderbender has been resurrected...minus the anti-penis rantings.
by DoctorWho?
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Just what we need. Where are all the old-school haters, like ringwearer9 and Indiana Clones?
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I vote nintendarth (imagine that, a SW handle!) for title of MBC. Do I win something? Here's a clue ninny-d: Just because someone is familiar with LotR doesn't exclude them from having read, y'know, all KINDS of other books. In fact, this fan doesn't even care for the genre that much...only Tolkien's works. Hope you don't actually go through life with these sorts of blind prejudices. Maybe genderbender grew a penis.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 2:57 p.m. CST
Been contemplating suicide, but I do really want to see The Hobbit.
by frank
And then I guess I would have to hold out for another year and a half to see the whole trilogy. We shall see, we shall see. The glimpse of Smaug looked cool. Vermithrax Perjorative is Guillermo del Toro’s favorite dragon, I understand, so maybe the resemblance means that del Toro’s design work did make it into the final cut of the movie. That would be cool, since his main strength seems to be in creature design.
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and Éowyn to fell the Witch-king. Merry stabbed him in the leg with his Barrow-blade, giving her the opportunity to finish it. Remember, Merry is technically not a man, but an hobbit.
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please seek help. http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
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Trifling
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After The Hobbit, there is a new Star Wars trilogy to look forward to. Although if it turns out like the last one... Only kidding. Sort of.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 4:32 p.m. CST
nintendarth was unanimously voted *Ass sphincter Emeritus* ...
by DrMorbius
by the members of his own family!
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Dec. 3, 2012, 4:40 p.m. CST
Vermithrax Perjorative is Guillermo del Toro’s favorite dragon
by DoctorWho?
If you, or someone you know has a "favorite dragon"...you've ventured into the outer regions of the nerd universe.
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...but the dragons were awesome in that movie. Personally, I quite like the movie.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 4:50 p.m. CST
http://l.yimg.com/os/251/2012/12/03/startrek2poster-jpg_155636.jpg
by Chris Moody
STAR TREK 2 poster...
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Dec. 3, 2012, 4:57 p.m. CST
At least he got his Twilight mousemat... http://www.firstshowing.net/2012/editorial-007s-skyfall-home-alone-and-cinematic-reference-points/
by larsson
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Dec. 3, 2012, 4:59 p.m. CST
It'll be a lean Xmas in the Donnelly household this year... Proper Christmas Carol stuff this! Happy Holidays everyone xx
by larsson
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Dec. 3, 2012, 5:01 p.m. CST
http://www.firstshowing.net/2012/editorial-007s-skyfall-home-alone-and-cinematic-reference-points/
by larsson
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Dec. 3, 2012, 5:08 p.m. CST
you can probably still read his reviews on his twitter page??
by larsson
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Dec. 3, 2012, 5:13 p.m. CST
my apologies, did I say 'his reviews'? What I meant to say was 'his complete gibberish'.
by larsson
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with Adrienne Barbeau and Jamie Lee Curtis
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Dec. 3, 2012, 6:56 p.m. CST
LOL @ Kobe, there is no "game" when it comes to arguing with strangers on a nerd movie site
by kidicarus
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from The Shire. Would have saved themselves a lot of fucking drama.
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was supposed to be a beautiful beast. Red and gold I believe, and stunning to behold. This looks like something I stepped on yesterday in my backyard. This movie stinks more and more.
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This seems to be coming together really amazingly. Would have been curious to see Del Toro's version, but I'll take Jackson's version any day. He did ace Lord of the Rings after all... even though many seem to forget that.
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Then you just haven't been paying attention.
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YOU'RE CRITICIZING 1/8th of a SECOND of a SCENE.* *"Look at the fat dwarf's mouth/jowls..."
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I really hope Tauriel hasn't been shoehorned in as a new character accompanying Bilbo, because The Hobbit doesn't have "strong female role models" for little girls to identify with. Most fans of The Hobbit book I know are women, proving you can have a movie about a bunch of hairy blokes and still appeal to the fairer sex!
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If you go I will surely die We're cha-a-a-ained We're cha-ained We're cha-a-ained... ...to aicn. Be well.
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Dec. 3, 2012, 10:58 p.m. CST
Wow, ONE person addressed ONE of the issues I raised. (d. vader)
by Nintendarth
Oh, I'm sure THE HOBBIT will make boatloads of money and will bring in award after award and accolade after accolade, good reviews aplenty, and it will be just as much a pile of meaningless gibberish as the previous films. Someone suggested to me what may be a likely answer for my problem with these kinds of movies. They're ALL plot. Plot points mean nothing without a depth of character to go along with it, and I think that's why fantasy books don't grab me. Someone said, hey, I guess you don't like plot-heavy books, and he was right. I don't. Ultimately, to me, the books boil down to characters that have precisely one note. The loyal one, the traitorous one, the crazy one. the wise one. Beyond that, there's no reality to them, because people in real life aren't just one thing. But because the books are so plot heavy, that part gets ignored. What I find most fascinating is that nobody bothered to address anything I said except d. vader, whose basic defense was IT'S ONE EIGHTH OF A SECOND. Well, there are other elements of the make-up to criticize - the noses without pores, the static beards that don't move with their mouths, etc. WETA really cut a LOT of corners on those make-up designs, but that's nothing new for them when you look at the orc scenes in the LOTR trilogy and see they copied orcs over and over behind the main action. And that won awards. Wow.
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While it may be true that you only enjoy Tolkien (and why do you enjoy Tolkien? please elaborate on a reason for this?), I submit that adults by definition who are mature and sophisticated have no time for books by Tolkien when there are books by, say, Franzen as an alternative. What make you pick up Tolkien when Franzen is also on the bookshelf?
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Dec. 3, 2012, 11:27 p.m. CST
First real review in from IGN - as expected it's "OK
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
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http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/12/04/the-hobbit-an-unexpected-journey-review
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Dec. 3, 2012, 11:27 p.m. CST
http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/12/04/the-hobbit-an-unexpected-journey-review
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
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Dec. 3, 2012, 11:30 p.m. CST
I honestly am not surprised and was not excited about this at all.
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
I love LOTR and the trilogy Jackson gave us will live forever as one of the greatest cinema experiences period. But from day one this was announced I was hesitant to get excited. Then when the pictures from the set started to trickle in I had no excitement and just brushed it off. After reports from Comic-Con and then the fact they were stretching this out to 3 movies it became clear that this is sadly nothing more then a money grab. The trailers only made it worse and now with this first review confirm the worst this is one movie I am not going to support. Looks like Jackson is headed down the same road as Lucas.
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My favorite parts: - there are snot gags and belching jokes sure to make kids giggle There's actually a lot of less than jaw-dropping visual effects work here, whether it's Azog -- who looks like he walked out of a video game -- or the horde that chases Radagast the Brown (Sylvester McCoy) or the wargs. The Goblin King (Barry Humphries) and his minions are all CGI. At a certain point during battle scenes with these CGI characters it becomes evident that the main actors are swinging at nothing; you never get the sense anything's actually connecting and thus you're never fully invested in these battles or what happens to anyone in them. It's makes you think that if you went 20 minutes in any direction outside of The Shire you'd end up in Toon Town. Add in the brighter landscapes and The Hobbit often looks more like a Narnia film than an LOTR one. nintendarth says: HAHAHAHA! AHHHHH. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Tolkien did write it as a British myth inspired by the Norse sagas and other mythology. So yeah, there are a lot of stock archetypes vs. character development and such. I mean, if you've ever read Beowulf or the like, the characters aren't exactly fleshed out very well, and they're not made to be. They follow the oral storytelling tradition, with greater emphasis on world-building and plot. It sounds like Game of Thrones would be more your thing, if you're wanting more complex characterizations and motivations for plot turns.
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Er..because I do? What kind of idiotic question is that? Why do you like chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla?...as equally an idiotic question that has no answer other than personal taste. Read the books when I was about fifteen and have enjoyed the entire collection since. People have tried to get me into other "fantasy" books but they're all pale shadows of LotR so I quit bothering. In short, I'm not exclusive to one genre and certainly not "fantasy (whatever the hell that's supposed to be)". But y'know, I've been dealing with jack-asses like you ever since I did read the books. It's always astounded me that there is this tiny fraction of the population that gets their jollys by shitting on others peoples taste...simply because THEY don't share that taste. Really...what are you about ten years old? Bottom line...millions of people dig the living shit out of Tolkiens stories...always have and they always will. And, it delights me to no end that it so bothers dried up and soulless personalities such as yourself. But, please, continue stabbing that self portrait you've creatively titled, "AICN Troll."
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I made it about a page and a half into a GAME OF THRONES book at a Best Buy. I got to the line in the first book that said something like -The wildlings are all dead.- -Have you been unmanned, Gauranak?- I put the book down in total disgust. I tried to find it on youtube but couldn't, there's a wonderful episode of KING OF THE HILL where Hank finds Bobby's junk novels THE ELVES OF EVERMORE and begins reading and gets to the line that goes something like -Warrior, come lie with me on the grass. I have fashioned for you a breastplate- and he cries out in horror and throws the book across the room. Yeah, I get that.
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...but he can't wait to see the next installment. SOunds like he liked it to me. Why do you people always expect "The Next Greatest Thing Ever!!" No wonder AICN fanboys are such whiners...NOONE will ever achieve perfection.
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But it is nice to see the fanboys step out of their shells and admit what I've been saying for months about the shoddy make-up and crummy CGI in the commercials.
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...before I pass judgement. But it's been my experience that people pretty much make up their minds whether they'll like something before they set foot in a theater. What's really strange is the amount of time folks will spend bagging on something they supposedly hate...odd, really and why bother?
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What, he thinks he's got something to add to the source material? what's all this extra horse-shit he's added? Characters that weren't in the book? Maybe I'll see this on blu ray IF they release a version with all the additional PJ bullshit edited out.
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And wait for Geillermo Del Toro's schedule to free up?
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Dec. 4, 2012, 2:58 p.m. CST
...nobody bothered to address anything I said except d. vader
by DoctorWho?
Awwww...da poor widdle twoll is angwee dat no one gave him attention for his wame widdle twolling.<p> Pfft...as if there was substance in his mockery and condescension that MUST be addressed. Here's an idea: Get over yourself. <p> And don't see the Hobbit (though we all know your ass is in the seat on Dec 14)
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Dec. 4, 2012, 3:15 p.m. CST
I'm not going to go into the comic-book thread and trash every adult male who still reads comic books, what would be the point?
by kidicarus
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Going through some difficult times but forging ahead and gouging away. Definitely looking forward to The Hobbit. Can’t believe all the negativity directed towards it and Peter Jackson on this site. The LotR trilogy was fucking brilliant. There were some flaws but overall it was classic filmmaking.
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People not excited for this are clearly insane. The early reviews make me curious, but not worried. Not sure about the 48 fps, but then again I'd be content with a 10th generation bootleg. Gouge away. Stay all day if you want to.
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Not sure why I latched on to your criticism of Bombur's jowels. I think it seemed the most ridiculous to me at the moment (though honestly, I can't remember what else you said right now... its been a long day).
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Stay positive, everything will be alright.
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Dec. 4, 2012, 10:06 p.m. CST
Franks TV! You can't believe the negativity toward The Hobbit?
by D.Vader
THIS! IS! TALKBACKS! Full of people wanting to hate and to be justified of their hate (without having seen the object of their hate).
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Dec. 4, 2012, 10:17 p.m. CST
And to the people full of hate (without having seen the object of their hate).
by Deceased Fan
Let go of your hate. You'll live longer. (Or at least better.) I come here for the love. I love movies. I love AICN. I love the talkback. I love Hobbitses. and most importantly I love you. All.
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Well said indeed.
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Number one: Video games are made to look like movies. The sell on them since 1972 when I played my first game of Oregon Trail has been 'a movie you can be in'. What you're really saying is that this movie looks like the newest games which are made with movie technology, specifically so they look like movies. Maybe you guys could explain more to me about how that cart pushes those ____ing horses around??? Number 2: 'Movies used to rely heavily on good intelligent stories'.... Dude you guys need to ease up on the pot, really. YES, the four movies you remember because they had good intelligent stories and have been replayed since prehistory are fine. Same with comics, the ones that were good made it to now for you to enjoy, the bad ones hit the trash. I've got a Turok, son of stone#1, that you can have to wipe your ear after a raping if you like. 15 years from now, the bad movies made today will be in the grave and the few great current movies will be added in with every other good movie ever made to beat the shit out of the junk they're making then.
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As a bonus anybody who doesn't plan on watching the hobbit because it's going to suck, can spend the day in my basement watching Hawk The Slayer. Because it's one of those old movies that had such intelligent stories, Y'know!
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I for one don't think PJ's LOTR are TERRIBLE movies. I just don't think they're very good. And I think they may well be terrible adaptations of the source material. FOTR was actually surprisingly good, even though it had a lot of stupid shit. But about halfway through the Two Towers, he lost it, and lost me. The films never recovered after Aragorn went over that cliff. And when Faramir said "The Ring will go to Gondor", it felt like somebody punched me. Like it was a joke. As the credits rolled I really felt like it was a bad dream or a prank, and the REAL movie was somewhere else. PJ wasn't just fucking with narrative there (which is both expected and forgivable), he was messing with CHARACTER, and thus with the essence of the STORY. Looking back I realize that he was really doing this from the start, but it just isn't as noticeable in the first film.
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