SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE review

I’m sure many of you have been curious what would come up in Europe that I would tear myself away from the United States and dart across an ocean, enduring 44 hours of airplane and airport time within 3 and a half days.

Obviously I must be pursuing an epic scoop. Something that would shake the very foundations of the earth.

Well, truth be told... It wasn’t something Gigantic or Stupendous. In fact it was a whim. Here, let me tell you...

A little over a week ago, I came into some extra cash via my Grandmother’s Life Insurance policy. It’s enough to insure that the site is gonna have a hefty pair of lungs to survive till the new ad contracts are signed sealed and delivered, and to completely purchase Geek Headquarters and... I’ll have a little extra for ludicrous things.

It’s not a mega-jackpot, and to tell the truth, it is a little odd to profit off the death of a relative. I’m not real sure how to handle it.

Now when I got this check I didn’t even conceive of flying to Europe. In fact, I was flipping through my WEEKLY VARIETY (May 8th-14th) when I came across LIONS GATE FILMS’ ad... specifically the one announcing the Director’s Fortnight presentation of SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE at Cannes. It wasn’t much really, just the “May 16 10:00pm Noga Hilton” line. That was like... one of those things that you just do not need to see or hear.

A day went by and I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. The only other time in my life that I’ve been to France was when I had goofy money from a Planet Hollywood writing gig I was doing, and on a whim, went to check out John Carpenter’s VAMPIRES.

I kept thinking... perhaps I’m destined to see VAMPIRE movies in France. Then I started thinking about how funny it’d be if with all the big high falootin’ films showing at Cannes.... how funny it’d be if I flew over to see just one movie.

I contacted an email buddy of mine that works in the CANNES PROGRAMMING area and asked if it’d be possible for him to line me up a way to get in to see SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE at the Director’s Fortnight. He said it wouldn’t be a problem... That the film wasn’t a ‘Big Star’ film, so he could squeeze me in.

Well... I had a ticket to the film. I could get in. Sometimes ya got to do what ol Curtis Armstrong said in RISKY BUSINESS and say... “What the Fuck”

So I set up my flights, got it all in place, my friend set me up at his pad (which was sleeping 8 at the time). 22 hours. Egads. Austin, New Jersey, London and finally Nice.

On the way I just slept, dreaming of the day when I’d have a Powerbook with DVD-ROM so I could be watching a selection of badass films while I flew. But... that was not to be. Instead, Well, I had to deal with this Business man across the Atlantic that insisted on talking to me about the advantages of Web marketing, and how I could greatly value from his firm’s marketing know how and yadda yadda yadda...

I put my earphones on, listening to James Bernard’s NOSFERATU score he recorded a couple of years back... God that is magnificent. While listening to it, I kept pondering whether or not this movie would be any good.

It’s release date was pushed from Spring to Fall. I had heard that Lions Gate sunk quite a bit of money into the film, then began to get worried because the movie was ‘difficult to market’. God I hope that’s not true.

After a thorough lecture on the advantages of modern online marketing, a massive amount of hibernation and a pretty shitty in-flight dinner... well we landed in London.

I had about 3 hours at the airport, so I flipped through all the rags looking for something, anything cool about CHICKEN RUN... I assume it’s big here... right? I either was blind or unlucky cause I didn’t see a peep about it.

Boarded my 3rd plane of the day, and headed to Nice. Then... when I got there, I found this rather entrancing cabbie who could obviously understand English, but refused to speak it. I understand, I mean, I’m a fucking idiot that can speak only one language. I get it. But dammit, it’s not my fault, in my home country they don’t begin teaching foreign languages till your late teen years after your brain has become completely entrenched in ONE LANGUAGE only.

When I got to Cannes, I had about 9 hours till the screening. And by the way, that 40km ride from Nice is fucking expensive... but what did I expect right?

But man this place is just gorgeous. I had her drop me off at Noga Hilton, and man... This place is swank as hell. It is enormous inside, cavernous and to me even a bit cathedral like... The interior was a bit THX 1138ish... really bright white, but... well language fails me.

I wasn’t staying here, so I decided to check out the beach. Dude. They have like naked women on the beach. I had checked my one bag and one tux hanging thingee at the Hilton so I could just wander the beach looking at all the titties and man... While the eye candy is quite frigging great, there were these leathery creatures with hanging way low breasts with pinkish stretch scars just laying there. I mean this one.... oh dear god, I mean, You thought that American Beauty animation of me was an eyesore... Dear God. I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.

The whole topless beach thing was a whole mixed bag for me. I... well, I can sense that you could give a shit about any of this. You want to hear about SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE.

To be frank, while I could probably write another 3000 words about the water, the different buildings I saw, how great my fricking late afternoon dinner at Le Bouchon d’Objectif was. Or how the sauces were so rich and tasty that after about 7 bites I thought I was going to burst, not to mention that I believe those 7 bites probably contained the caloric density to take away 2 weeks of being a good boy on his salad thing.

But, I’ll get to the screening. I dressed up in my tux, figuring that’s what I was supposed to do. My friend told me to. I hooked up with Professor Petrie, and his pair of minxes, Josette Day & Mila Parély, waltzed in and took a seat.

I was absolutely blown away by Josette, I don’t know.... I so wanted to be her Beast, but while I was all Bond-ing out in this penguin gear, I really just couldn’t get past the drool worthy accent of hers. What a sweetheart.

Sigh.

And folks... this is going to be the true indicator of how good SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE was for me.

I wanted Josette bad. I mean Baaaaaaaaaaad. But once the film began... all of that just went away. As a matter of fact everything just disappeared for me.

SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE is the third film in a trilogy of films I adore in a very special way.

GODS & MONSTERS and ED WOOD. Very different I know, but also very similar. This movie, though, in my opinion... It could very well be my favorite of the three... I’ll need to see it in less excited circumstances. (The audience loved this film. They were laughing at all the right moments, and eating up the dramatic scenes like you wouldn’t believe.)

After the film ended, I just wanted to get to a computer and type. But I didn’t have computer access there, so instead Professor Petrie, Josette (thump thump), Mila and I all went back to his rather snazzy pad and talked. Talked till it was time to hop in my cab and return to Nice. And for the ride back to England and then back to Washington D.C. and then Back to Austin, Texas... I tortured the person sitting next to me. Not with my folds of fat, but with my gab of vampires... of my complete blown away babbling about Dafoe as Shreck.... Quoting Malkovich’s Murnau lines like a fool.

Then poor Daddy Dearest.... all he wanted to hear about was Cannes.... what it was like, what the streets smelled like, what the food was, what did I bring back for him, etc etc etc...

I talked SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE. And you are about to get a fill and a half about it.

First off, I can see how Lions Gate might have thought this was a hard film to market. First off, they failed to market GODS AND MONSTERS so badly that they not only didn’t make very much money on that film, but because they concentrated more on Nick Nolte’s AFFLICTION nomination, they cost Ian McKellen a SURE THING OSCAR that was stolen by Weinstein and Roberto. Not only that, but Disney completely failed to make any money on ED WOOD and given that those are the two movies that instantly come to mind when seeing this film... Well... I imagine they were afraid.

HOWEVER, their trailer for this movie BLOWS. It is the ass way of marketing the film. They are cutting together the most campy & overacting moments in the film and flooding them all together to make the audience think... ah... it’s funny... it’s entertaining... I’ll go see the film.

It’s the ‘Robin Williams Method of Film Selling’. You last saw it enacted on BICENTENNIAL MAN, where Disney thought they’d be smart and punch all the comedic beats in the trailer, then were shocked when Sci Fi fans stayed away in droves fearing that Chris Columbus and Robin Williams had screwed Asimov to the wall.

There is one major difference between GODS & MONSTERS, ED WOOD and SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE.

In those first two movies, it was focused on the reality, the perception of reality of those figures. It was Bela Lugosi, the addict... not DRACULA. It was Boris Karloff the old kindly gentleman, not the FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER.

In SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE, we have... what is without a doubt in my mind one of the greatest renditions of a VAMPIRE ever.

This movie should be marketed seriously. Playing up the mythology of the film and the history and reality of the mysterious circumstances surrounding the alleged Max Shreck.

That’s what the film is about. You see, if you read any histories about NOSFERATU, nearly all records about the title character are shrouded with mystery. There was a disappearance of an early cinematographer, and a replacement. Many consider NOSFERATU to be the finest vampire film ever created. That there is something... unearthly and frightening about the mere visage of Count Orlok that just sends shivers through one.

Well, I’ve seen NOSFERATU perhaps 30 times or so. It is one of my father’s favorite films. I know every odd angle of the film. In fact just recently I saw the film again at the Alamo Drafthouse, and sat with a SOLD OUT audience watching in awe of the film.

Two nights ago, I sat in an absolutely packed house of people from all sorts of countries... and delighted at this new creation. A film that I purely love, and wish I could show to Forrest J Ackerman. He’s gonna love this one.

Now... the film.

Why does this film work?

First and foremost the credit of this film falls completely and without trepidation upon the brow of the director, E. Elias Merhige. This is his sophmore film, and it is not only not a slump, but a complete and utter success. This movie isn’t simply about making a movie. The film is a story about making a deal with the devil, it’s THE DEVIL AND DAN WEBSTER. It’s a creepy friggin nightmare of a film that makes you laugh and get real real real quiet. The perfect mix of the recreated scenes with vintage footage, the irising into black and white, and the irising out into color... While sounding extremely simple... It’s dazzling. Breathtaking.

Sure it’s a mere visual flourish, but it’s those flourishes that made ol John Hancock’s signature stand out from those other names.

Merhige also directs Willem Dafoe to the single best performance of his career.

WHAT?

Yes, absolutely without a doubt. Dafoe should hire a P.R. firm now to manage his run at BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR/BEST ACTOR...

You know how sometimes an actor taps into something incredible when submerged into makeup? Like Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi. Or Andreas Katsulas as G’Kar? Sometimes makeup frees an actor from all the crutches of their own face. They look in the mirror and simply transform.

In SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE, Dafoe melts away and all we are left with is a centuries old vampire. A once noble human transformed so long ago into a blood consuming monster that he can no longer recall his origins. He’s gone so long that he can’t remember how to turn others into creatures like him. His goblets are gone, no longer does he have servants. Instead he’s a vulture, a rat... living on scraps of blood. A ferret, a rat, a passing nightcrawler in the night... he drains.

The two girls and Professor Petrie, whom I saw this with... fell in love. Hopefully they’ll write in about their experiences with the movie to back up what I’m saying here, but we spoke till the sun turned the sky from midnight black to a stunning sunrise. Which signaled my taxi’s arrival.

What else besides Dafoe worked. EVERYTHING. John Malkovich as a determined filmmaker... He tells the screenwriter, “No doubt while writing you had personal demons to deal with, Now I have mine.” Rough estimation of that line, but Malkovich has some of the strongest iconic dialogue I’ve seen in sometime. His perspective on the world outside of the frame of his camera, his determination to finish his film no matter the costs. It’s beautiful. I so wish Guillermo had come over from Spain to see this one. He’d of loved it.

Also... finally Eddie Izzard has a great film under his belt. Eddie has had terrible luck with his films so far. Attaching himself to pretty cool projects that somehow just don’t quite come all the way together... Well here, in this film he is perfection as the actor that plays the role of Thomas Hutter, the Jonathan Harker-ish role, in Nosferatu. His make up, his hair, his accent. Perfect. When he first meets Count Orlok at the castle... it is literally a GREAT hair-raising scene.

Cary Elwes is also great, as is Udo Kier. And Catherine McCormack as the lead actress of the production... a needle freak, a diva, an actress fighting the move from stage to film, but entranced by the persuasive powers of F.W. Murnau.

This is a truly great film. An absolute must see by all genre fans. A must see for all serious drama fans. A must see by everyone that loves film.

And yes, I am going to make you sick of hearing about this film. I wholeheartedly love this movie. Wow.

I can’t believe I spotted it as a mere Logline when it was called BURNED TO LIGHT... an eon ago. The talk I heard was that the movie had a chance of actually pulling in some awards at the festival. God I hope so. This is the exact sort of film that a festival like Cannes, Toronto, Sundance... well... it’s exactly the sort of movie that can be thrown up so high that all must see it.

This is such a film to exhibit and highlight. I wish I had time to see and do more in Cannes, but I had to return to handle preparations for my sister’s Baby Shower. Unfortunately I’m probably going to be useless due to jet lag... I mean... it’s 6:37am here in Austin... And I don’t have a bit of sleepy in my eye! But then... that’s what writing about a great movie can do to ya!