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Never let it be said we don't show both sides of the issue! Here's Quint's somewhat positive look at BATTLEFIELD EARTH
Father Geek here, I've already expressed my many disappointments with this flick in the large group post I put up last night, but in the interest of fairplay I'm posting Quint's feelings here and now. I'm even giving it Top Story statis so no one will miss it.(This is an entertainment sight after all) This is the ONLY review I have received that feels this way, ALL others are totally negitive. So flame away me heartys... flame away...
Ahoy there Father Geek, ladies and gentlemen... The one and only crusty
seaman is here once more, this time with a short look at Battlefield Earth. I
know there's been a lot of views on this film already, but I thought what the
hell? One more won't hurt.
Especially since my view of the film is slightly different from most. I
personally thought it was all right. Not great, but not awful either. I don't
know.... Maybe it's because the last movie I had seen before Battlefield
Earth was that wretched pile of steaming shark shit known as American Psycho.
Maybe after being that low made it so Battlefield Earth was a step up, not
down. I'm not sure.
Maybe I missed the moment that made it such a bad film because I was so
distracted by the dick lickers sitting to my right that wouldn't shut the
fuck up during the movie. You know the type. A sign appears on screen that
reads "Aspen" and they have to go: "Aspen" (I guess to prove to those around
them that they can read) and their friend has to say "I bet it's cold up
there..." I swear to God I was about to harpoon those idiots. Thankfully
Mouth, who was sitting between me and the talkers, got them to shut up with
threats of locking them up in his basement with the cockroaches for 2 weeks
without food or water. Anyway...
I have never read the book (although I hear it's pretty awesome), I am not a
Scientologist nor a Scientologist-basher. I went in to this movie hoping to
be entertained, nothing more, nothing less. It worked... a little bit.
I truly liked Travolta and Whitaker's characters and thought they had great
chemistry together. The best parts of the movie for me were when they played
off each other. Travolta was over the top, but not nearly as over the top as
I expected him to be. Barry Pepper does his best, but ultimately I found the
character uninteresting. The worst part of the movie was the first 15 minutes
to me. The humans were boring. The Psychlos were at least interesting.
I loved the effects work done with the ships. I thought they nailed that
effect down. They had the heat ripples, but actually got the dark exhaust and
the metal look (instead of the usual plastic look of CGI) of the ships down
pat. I also liked the last reel of the film. They got finally got the pacing
right for the final act, unfortunately they still didn't figure out how to
cut the film so you could actually see what's going on.
Honestly, it is just a popcorn flick. It has some very bad editing and pacing
flaws. The cuts were way too flashy and quick. There were also some shots
(particularly at the beginning) that were done artsy just for the sake of
being artsy. In the end you really don't care about the human characters and
from what I gather most of those who have seen it didn't care about the alien
characters as well.
Overall I thought it was a step above mediocre. If you are the kind of person
who isn't willing to suspend one iota of disbelief for a film, then I would
venture the opinion that this movie isn't for you. If you are looking to
spend a couple of hours watching a special effects, cheeseball summer flick
then I would suggest a matinee showing. This is in no way a full price movie.
Unless you're a rabid Hubbard or Travolta fan, I doubt you'll be happy about
spending the $8 on it.
So, there you have it. Battlefield Earth is a very cheesy movie, but at least
it's not as bad as American Psycho.... damn... just thinking about that movie
makes me want to vomit blood ::gurp:: uh-oh. Gotta get going. Farewell and
adieu...::splurp::
-Quint
aicnquint@aol.com
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That movie sucked balls!
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This movie cost a huge amount of money to make, didn't it? How could it possibly be bad?
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hmmmmm well first off this is a shit review, secondly even a review like this makes Battlefield Earth sound rubbish, and last lastly I supose you really dnot want too listen too a guy who thinks the brilliant American Psycho is a pile of dogshit anyway so overall this review has just made me feel sick and made me look even less forward too seing the movie!
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Hm, Hoom! I had no idea you didn't like American Psycho, and now to find out you actually didn't hate B.E., well, I'm in shock. American Psycho was a cleverly crafted opus of hilarity and terror. I'll never be able to listen to Sussudio in the same way again. I cannot believe for a second that BE is worth even the senior discount they give your crusty old ass at the multiplex. But, so is the world of movies. One man's hemlock is another's honey. I'd certainly be ashamed to admit I liked a movie like this. Although I can't deny I actually liked The Postman juuuust a little, but hey, I was stoned out of my gourd! Hopefully you were as well when you saw this piece of cinematic brilliance.
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...For I loved Center Stage.
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After spending the better part of the 80's riding submarines and watching the horrible shit flicks that were picked for the navy. The reviews i've read of this one bring back alot of old memories.Hell who knows this one might even be worse than "DRACULA'S DOG". Guess i need to dig in the bottom of my old seabag and drag out my HACKERS card this should be worth 4 gold stars.
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I haven't seen Battlefield Earth, but I have seen American Psycho and I feel people missed the message ... because there was NO message. It's key was empathy - to put you in the place of an American psycho: one who's completely numbed by the materialism of society and so competetive and sick of his coworkers that he'll kill them to achieve the highest ranking of vice president.
Mary Harron did a great job, as did Bale. If Quint didn't like American Psycho, but did like Battlefield Earth, somehthing everybody as of yet has hated, then I'm not inclined to see B E at all. -
That's all that I had to say...
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but I'll KILL 'IM FOR TEN!
TOP TEN REASONS I AM POSTING RIGHT NOW:
10) Meesa wanna see my namea on da screena!
9) Talking like Jar Jar makes me think of . . .Harry.
8) I WANNA BITCH and MOAN and CRITICIZE--wait, sorry, that's not me, that's EVERYONE ELSE on this site -HAHAHAHAha.
7) Need those HERE ON EARTH updates. . .FAST!
6) FATHER GEEK keeps giving me blowjobs. No, really!
7) ITZ NOT A TUMOR! That's why. Ha ha hehhehheh. . .heh.
6) Harry's face reminds me of Chuck Villanch.
5) MICHEAL BIEHN! MUST FIND MICHAEL BIEHN!
4) Mira Sorvino's tits sag like a dog's.
3) Posting keeps me occupied.
2) I don't know.
1) Please someone give me a nice job. . . please? -
For crying out loud, the guy didn't even say he LIKED the movie. if you ask me, he gave it pretty bad review anyway. why do people take other's opinions on film reviews so personal? to ridicule someone because they call a film you think sucks 'a step above mediocre' seems a little bit childish and harsh. i thought this bored was supposed to stick to the issues and refrain from personal attacks?
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The review here is confusing me. You say it is positive because it calls it crap instead of shit? Because it goes out on a limb to say that there were some positive points but over all it was the same crap you get every summer. Wow that is positive considering I don't feel this movie is worth the energy to even bash it.
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Just kidding. But if you go into a movie with such hell-squating expections, you'll never be disappointed. In addition, seeing what in your eyes is a movie monstrousity (read: American Psycho) before BE didn't lend itself to an unbiased review of BE. What is ultimately disheartening about this movie is the fact that it's being promoted by the studio. They know it's crap. So why? Because its ego above all else in Hollywood. Give me a tenth-- heck, one percent-- of the money it took to make this movie, and I guarantee I'd make a better one. That's why I feel free to criticize. Because I know I, and others here, who love movies more than they can explain, could do it. Maybe someday...
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May 11, 2000 1:24:59 PM CDT
Shitty Shitty Bo-Bitty Banana-Fana Fo-Fitty Me Mi Mo Mitty---SHI
by dredpiratesteven
Right now, at this very moment, I have boiling inside me a large brown-black bubbling I.C.B.M. (Incontinent interContinental Bowel Movement) which is growing in strength and power, being fed daily by Little Debbie oatmeal pies...waiting to be launched at the command of Jerky Mcjerk ALL OVER TRAVOLTA'S BIG FAT HEAD. You act like shit, now you're going to ACT IN SHIT! Knights of the Jerk Table unite! Our poop is needed.... -
Anyone who believes American Psycho was a piece of shit deserves to be executed by Jesus! Christian Bale gave one of the finest performances I have EVER seen! Alternately explosive, controlled, distracted, dorky, maniacal--it was amazing to watch an actor given so much to work with and doing it all with such confidence and panache. Harry's trashing of this movie led me to discard virtually everything he's said since.
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Right on. Using American Psycho as a tool for comparison here is a mistake. A film that everybody dug except Harry & Quint. First off, Am.Psycho wasn't a popcorn movie to be taken for mere eye ejaculation. It was a character-driven montage that aimed for the audience to actually leave the theater thinking. It accomplished its goal. Battlefield Earth looks to simply entertain, an end that it OBVIOUSLY does not achieve. American Psycho is the best picture of the year to this point. Battlefield Earth shares the Razzie with I Dreamed of Africa.
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I have a feeling that you dumb fuckers who are brain dead enough to think that that monkey shit of a movie, American Psycho, was a good movie are probably the same cocksuckers that didn't like Gladiator. Natural selection must have passed you assholes over.
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May 11, 2000 2:01:23 PM CDT
AICN's senseless bashing of American Psycho needs to stop!
by obscure homage
I am shocked that none of the AICN crew gave any credit whatsoever to American Psycho. Lawrence of Arabia it's not, but it's not nearly as bad as Harry made it sound. I enjoyed it because of these reasons: 1) Christian Bale was terrific 2) Andrez Sekula's photography was gorgeous 3)The rest of the cast rocked 4) The satire was great. What the hell does Battlefield Earth have going for it? 1) Travolta's inflated ego 2)A half assed B movie director 3) Two reprehensible trailers that were laughed at by audiences 4)An avalanche of pre release negativity. I don't even NEED to see BE to tell Quint and everyone else that American Psycho is Lawrence of frickin' Arabia compared to this ill fated turkey.
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American Psycho was great, as was Gladiator. What the hell is wrong with being artsy for the sake of being artsy. People don't seem to be liking the camera angle thing with this flick. What about movies like Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2, in fact, most things Raimi that use this technique? They rock. I read one review that said it stinks as bad as Waterworld and The Avengers. Well, I like both films and I like lots of crazy angles in movies, so maybe I'll like it. I'm off to see this thing now, and I'll post what I think. Hopefully, everybody is wrong.
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The only reason you hate American Psycho is because it is set in the 80's - a decade in which you were barely alive. Don't hate what you don't understand, my main man. And everyone else needs to lay off this guy - he's only like 14-years-old!
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One to shit on and one to cover it up.
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How in the flying Christ do you get into R-Rated movies anyhow?
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WHHOWHOO WHOO WHHO WHoo!
Hey everybody. Do lyou like BEN SAVAGE? DO YA? Do ya like TOPANGA! DO ya! HUUUUHHH???
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May 11, 2000 2:36:30 PM CDT
QUINT, YOU ARE DEFINATELY ON CRACK I F YOU EVEN LIKED THIS ONE..
by geekbasher 3.0
Hey crazy kiddos, it's me again, and yes I am once again making a effort to say that this is by far one of the worst WORST fucking films ever, It was ugly, hideous, the sound was head-ache inducing, Look lets just say that when I sat down and the movie started, just for one second I really believed that I was going to be somewhat entertained...The experience was well..lets just say someone puked on my dick one time and it was not pretty! That about sums it up for Battlefield Earth! Don't even go there out of curiosity and if you do, make sure you are in a big muti-plex because Honey child, after three minutes of this penis puking crap, you will be theatre hopping just to recover from the TRAUMA! So Whatever Quint, you have your own right to feel whatever way you want about this disturbing piece of cinematic torture! But please LAY OFF THE CRACK! We are concerned!
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Just because Christian bale did not run around in a Scream Mask and there wasn't a cameo by Britney Spears, Poor Quint Hated this flick! Oh well....Yo Quint, The In-Crowd I hear is suppose to be very very good...
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May 11, 2000 2:43:12 PM CDT
This is the first review that I've read for this movie that I ca
by iamdeadfish
This is the first review that I've read for this movie that I can trust! I think I went on the record here in TB saying this before... but I'm going to say it again... I can not see how Scientology can effect a fictional movie's quality one way or the other. I can't see the connection at all. Every time I've read a bad review for this movie (even from "professional" sources) it starts out with a paragraph or two talking about the movie and them proceeds to bash Scientology for about 5 more pages. Now from what VERY little I know about Scientology, it sounds pretty dumb. I'm atheist/agnostic(whatever), I think any kind of church is a bad idea. Therefore, I don't plan on becoming a Scientologist any time soon! But the great thing about living in the United States is if you want to do something stupid like that... you can! (damn, this post is getting a little too preachy for my tastes.) Anyhow, the BE trailer did it's job and convinced me enough to go see it. So, I'll withhold any judgment of the movie until I have done so. If it sucks after that, I'll be the first one to admit it.
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Part of the appeal of American Psycho for me was seeing the 80's as a historical period. It was a flawed, repetitive but at times hilarious parody of the culture of my high school years with a great and daring performance from Christian Bale. Nothing more, nothing less. As for seeing Battlefield Earth? Wild horses couldn't get me to...
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As one of the few people here who actually read Hubbard's Battlefield Earth, (actually I listened to it on tape on a drive to and back from LA to Mammoth and the sucker still wasn't over) I can tell you that it is a thouroughly mediocre, all head and very little heart, piece of work. The characters are completely two-dimensional and uninteresting. It was a real chore to get through. The entire climax of the story hinges on a business negotiation. (Sound like any religion we know?)
If you want to read some amazing Sci Fi, read Greg Bear's "Queen of Angels" and "Slant." The man is a visionary genius. -
he used to rip into the first sign of a payoff, and here we have a prime target, a official AICN positive B.E review. Or maybe Quint just doesn't have my taste in movies. American Psycho was good, and now I can only speculate as to how virulent the rest of the talkbacks are gonna be.
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Saunter with me now down memory lane, to all those films of yesteryear that created their own standard by which Badness may be judged. Truly we all know, or at least sense, the communal reference point of terming a film 'Anaconda Bad', or 'Screamers Bad'. Indeed, legions may well recognize the use of the phrase 'Waterworld Bad', or 'Congo Bad', or 'Dragonheart Bad', or even 'TPM Bad'. Here, however, we may well be into uncharted territory. Could 'B:E Bad' be the phrase by which all future films are categorized, should they meet the requisite level of concentrated terror and travesty? This could well be the dawning of a new age.
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So American Psycho sucked and a mindless piece of shit CGI film like B. E. was okay? change your name from Quint, you don't deserve such a cool name. Maybe something like...... JAR JAR!
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Go ahead, call me a moron, but I giggled with glee all the way through that movie. I thought "American Psycho" was fun and for that one post-er who said that people who liked "American Psycho" didn't like "Gladiator," um, sorry - "Gladiator" kicked some MAJOR ass and I loved it, but then again, I loved "Deep Rising."
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Skimming through the endless "This movie sucks" talk backs, I noticed something. Doesn't this movie come out tomorrow! So has just about everyone who has said that this movie is awful actually seen it? If so, where? When? Prove it! I want to know.
Ask yourself this. Is the movie eyecandy? Does it have some deep meaning or social issue? Does it entertain you? Did you actually hate the movie, or are you the type that has made there mind up that a movie sucks six months before its release because you read the first draft of the script? Appearently these talk backs are rant and flame postings nothing more. Well here is mine. -
There were advanced screenings all over last night. A LOT of people saw this cineturd for free.
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Just trying to break the "this movie's gonna suck" monontony, that's all... :)
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Sorry, not convinced. I've made that mistake before, being told that a movie is 'kind of OK' and then having the worst viewing experiences of my life. Have you ever had the girlfriend look at you like you're insane for taking her to a complete celluloid pile of stale donkey semen? Especially when you know she is right. BTW, Jerky McJerk is the true Brown-eye genius of our time. He deserves to be more than merely the bum-chunk-spitting-fecal-riot-gun we all know and love. That is why I humbly request that Mr Jerky offer his nomination to become THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! There'll be no more pandering to the Russians and the Chinese at the negotiating table. "So you don't wanna ratify START III eh? . . . THEN BOW, YE CRINGING DOGS AND BE BATTERED TO DEATH BY THE PEANUTS HIDING IN MY DAILY LOAF!!" C'mon Mr McJerk. We'll even resurrect Pisso to be your running mate. You change the face of politics forever . . . so to speak. With you two bodily waste supremo's striding the earth, the Travolta's of the world will be exposed as the false prophets that they are.
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I thought Gladiator was great. A piece of vision. But it was not the epic that it tried to be. But American Psycho was not just a satirical laffer. It was a thinking man's movie. A movie that causes one to look at materialism, to negotiate our own instinctual violent subconscious (a very important distiction to be taken from the film), our covetous nature, our need for acceptance, and our own willingness to deceive ourselves. Furthermore, it makes one think long and hard about the value of pop culture, from the platinum selling Huey Lewis to the ill-placed fame of Ted Bundy. American Psycho has issues to be pondered amongst the violence. Gladiator was just plain violent, with nothing we've never seen or thought about before. THAT, friends, is why I believe American Psycho is a better film than Gladiator. Please don't ban me for not talking about Bullshit Earth. Quint brought it up.
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Just to let you know: Travolta was in South Florida recently to promote this piece of shit and ordered a $1300 dinner tab from a trendy South Beach restaraunt. The guy braved rush-hour South Florida traffic (we have the world's worst drivers) to deliver it to him on his private plane. The tip? Thirty bucks. I'm not a math major, but that's nowhere near fifteen to twenty percent. Oh well, just another reason to hope the film tanks.
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I saw this particular movie last night at a free preview, Mr. Smarty-Man Pendragon, and I certainly wouldn't recommend to anyone that they pay to see it. On the upside, this fairly boring film (good explosions, BIG plotholes -- apparently it only takes a week to learn how to fly a Harrier jet; why are we wasting good taxpayer money on the Armed Forces when we could set up flight simulators in every mall and have a million 12-year-olds flying these things?), probably isn't going to lure many naive young people to the COS.
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And what about Lane Myers. He posted a couple of months ago, saying that he was gonna post regulary again, but then promptly dissapeared.
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Even though I totally agree with Quint's POV on Battlefield Earth (don't expect 2001, and you will enjoy the show), his take on American Psycho is one that I can't agree on. Easily, my favorite movie of the year so far, AMERICAN PSYCHO was hilarious, one of the better satires that I have ever seen, blended the music in wonderfully, and God-oh-mighty, how could ANYONE not think that Bale totally ROCKED in that film?!?
Anyway, I definitely appreciate the TALK-BACKS for this reason, it shows that not everyone agrees with the AICN's take on some films, just as everyone's opinion of Battlefield Earth will certainly not gel with mine.
In the end, I thought BATTLEFIELD EARTH started off like a really BAD episode of STAR TREK, but about 20 minutes in, I just "got into" the overacting/cheeziness of it all, and actually enjoyed it as the popcorn romp that it was meant to be. And please...for the love of God, don't be posting no "JoBlo is a Scientologist!" replies....it's just too easy... :) -
Don't be sad little pendragon because you are 1. Not smart or clever enough to find out about these screenings 2. That poster of John Travolta that you frequently masterbate to is ripped and covered with seman..
and 3..yer not old enough to get into Battlefield Earth...
Don't worry my dear little one, if you click yer heels three times, I am sure you will find yer way to the DINOSAUR screening next week...
oh wait a second, I belive that one is rated PG....sorry not old enough! -
...stay smokin'! they were some fucking funny posts, man! BE looks like a 'howard the duck' sized disaster - i hope travolta's invested his recent $20mil paydays well because he's going straight to video from now on. 'more chains of gold', anyone? how about 'the tender 2'?
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Now that WAS a great sci-fi film! Anyway, Quint put what HE thought about the film- AN OPINION. When you review films you can put your opinion, OK? It's not as if it was a positive review. I also think it must have taken a lot of guts to say he thought bits of it were OK after the slagging off B.E. has gotten. So there. As to American Psycho, haven't seen it yet so don't know.
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May 11, 2000 5:34:16 PM CDT
ROCK THE VOTE! McJERK/PISSO-2000! REVIEW DONE BY "SQUINT" NOT "Q
by uncapie
"Squint" is "Quint's" evil twin. He must have replaced his name on this review! Evil bastard! Come election day, I'm casting my vore for the "McJerk/Pisso Party!" Whooo-hooo! P.S. WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT SUBLIMINAL DRONE SOUND ON THE RADIO SPOTS FOR "B.E"?!!
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Then shit yeah he deserves a beat down! No, I'm just kidding. The ultra-flaming is just a biproduct of the legions of baffled talkbackers that ANYONE AT ALL, especially a regular contributor such as Quint, thought this film was worthy of anything but our nastiest defecations. Personally, I don't see anything that could be good about this movie. Except for perhaps getting as loaded as possible, sneaking in, and as the Wu-Tang would say, "Bring the motha fuckin Ruckus" for a few laughs.
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I guess any redneck closet case with a free pass can get a head story on AICN. What has this place fallen to? I have no intention of polluting my senses with Battlefield Earth (the novel WAS awesome) due to the overwelming body of negative press. Personally I loved American Psycho but then I am a dick licker so that must be why eh? Try it you might like it...
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AP was horrible. The only movie that I can think of, that even compares to it, is "Eye of the beholder". This spring had some truly atrocious movies.
And before anyone even goes there, I'm 30. I remember the 80's quite well. And AP still sucked. -
That's just the thing. You could NOT review the movie just from the advertising. The advertising for Battlefield Earth sucks. The movie is decent. I've seen it twice, and its not too bad. I've seen far worse already this year. I would wager that 90% of the people in these talkbacks that are slamming this movie haven't even seen it yet. Its sickening. Like a bunch of sheep or something. I mean, you can say it doesn't look good, but if you are just slamming this movie left and right and all around, and you haven't even seen it, that's stupid. Battlefield Earth is two hours of fun. I don't care what you all say. DISCLAIMER: I am not a scientologist, nor do I worship Father Hubbard. Personally, I find that whole "religion" frightening.
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So, just to add another view of Battlefield Earth, I saw the movie last night and I really enjoyed it - and judging by the applause, so did the audience. There were some AMAZING special effects, which got ovations mid-movie, so whatever crap is being posted on this site - the reaction of a whole cinema audience can't be denied.
The aliens in this movie are great to watch, and the ongoing battle between Travolta and Forest Whitaker is captivating. There was one old fat alien, the planetary head, who was particularly gross, in a kind of interesting way. As for Kelly Preston's tongue...mmmmmmmm!
It has to be said, this movie is different. It's got a different look - kind of run down space-industrial - which is totally new - and the cinematography is innovative - all shot at strange angles - which may be why the movie looks so different. The Psychlo compound, the dingy bar, the spacecraft - all were masterpieces of set design.
Hey! Maybe some people don't like NEW things - movies that are trying to push the envelope. I'm surprised that all the people out there who don't feel they fit in, are so opposed to movies that are a little bit different.
Barry Pepper is really intense as Jonnie, and I'm sure is destined to become a major star.
There is so much going on in this movie that I for one am going to go see it again. It moves fast and furious and never lets up. If you want to see some bad-ass aliens, lots of stuff being blown up, some amazing special effects, and get a few laughs, go see Battlefield Earth. I thought it was great. -
im going to go see this movie just for the sheer 'oh god this is so fucking bad' laughs. im sure it will right up there with mission to mars on the corniness scale. from the clips ive seen i think it will topple mtm easily. BRING ON THE RAZZIES!
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"This movie isn't as bad as PLAN 9, it's only down there in GODZILLA country!" "Oh, boy! Sign me right up!!" Yeesh. I don't know, maybe I'd better wait until $1.00 night at the local bijou. . .
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MatteoH -- We know that you've been separated from your family, and no longer have any friends that aren't associated with Admiral L. Ron Kooky of the Good Ship "Batshit Insane". We know you're isolated, and alone, and paid by the Scientologists to wax "quality" at every turn. But do you have to be so UTTERLY MORONIC in doing so? We know there isn't much to praise about the movie, but I have to say that in all the movie reviews I've ever read, I've never read anything quite as TOTALLY HILARIOUS and straw-grasping as your line: "There was one old fat alien, the planetary head, who was particularly gross, in a kind of interesting way". THANKS FOR THE INSIGHT! I'll be there OPENING DAY, because I can't wait for the OLD FAT ALIEN who was GROSS but INTERESTING! SWEET! Stop by my fan site, oldfataliensthataregrossbutinteresting.com for more details! Seriously, MatteoH, answer TWO VERY simply questions for me: 1. Are you a Scientologist? and 2. Was your screening attended by other Sceintologists? That's the only reason I can think of there being APPLAUSE at Battlefield Pile -- you were all threatened with being locked in a closet with Travolta, a Cheeseburger, and a stack of old pornography, ready to be given a SPECIAL kind of "purification rundown". Paid off by the Germans, Eric
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It was clever, funny, scary, disturbing and very very intelligent. It has to be taken as a satire because that's what it was - plain and simple!!
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I don't see Pink Flaningo or Gumo on your list anywhere, so you can't even begin to comprehend how bad movies can get!!!
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Unlike some here, I saw a screening of the movie and liked it. I agree with Quint about Travolta and Whitaker's chemistry. I was particularly impressed with Travolta's villian alien performance -- he was excellent, somewhat to my surprise.
I really enjoyed the film. It's great sci-fi and I'm a sci-fi fan -- we simply don't get enough sci-fi films for my taste. In fact, I liked it so much I'll probably go see it again. The screening theater has crappy sound and a small screen and I'd like to see and hear all the effects bettter. -
I may not take my movies as seriously as some of the reviewers here but I liked Battlefield Earth. Travolta and Whitaker pull off some over-the-top performances as the aliens and the special effects were excellent. It's true the the pace of the editing is very fast. Once you catch the rhythm of it there some real humor in the script. I read the book years ago and there's no way they could have crammed all that plot into one movie but I think they captured the fun and raw adventure of it. I'd see it again.
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jarke is actually a Scientologist!
Here is his homepage: http://www.erols.com/jstanard/knowmore.html
How is this possible that MatteoH and jarke show up at his board everytime at the same time? -
I find it strange how people react so violently to a different opinion in something of this nature. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing, but, geez, folks, let the guy have his own opinion without screaming like a threatened animal and calling him every name in the book. Sheesh.
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This was a damn fine film...one of the best of the year. If you think it is a plotless, stupid gorefest with no merit whatsoever, then you probably weren't paying attention. It was an excellent social satire...had lots of humor (in good and bad taste), a wonderful performance by Bale, and lots of surreal and beautiful images. AP was so much more than just a guy running around with a chainsaw killing people. i hate seeing people who can't appreciate something that actually has a little substance
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Lots of people have posted above, prefacing their remarks with "I have nothing against Scientology", or something to that effect. Well, I'm not going to lie in order to convince people that I'm impartial. Scientologists, all of them, are FUCKING MORONS, and I'm half convinced that L. Ron was in on the joke the whole time, laughing his ass off at his zombies. However, to be fair, a lot of the same applies to christianity. Yeah, you heard me: all you christian idiots can go FYS's. Now that I've proven my impartiality, and made an ass of myself, I would like to point out that... um, I really have nothing constructive to say, but this movie sounds like high-camp art at its best/worst? If it's as bad as you all say it is, I'll feel perfectly justified ruining the movie for everyone else in the theatre by laughing my ass off. Boy, I can't wait for someone to film a five-hour adaptation of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged... a brilliant book, almost the equal of L. Ron's best.
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When is Travolta's next COMEBACK film? Can we get it rescheduled for 2018? Jeez, another day of him and his futur-istic schnotlines in commercials every other station break on MILLIONAIRE tonight.
If the boys at MindHead were smart, they'd let this guy show it to the Laker Girls and get it out of his systems. Damn he can NOT act.
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Worst. Movie. Ever.
Ever. -
I must admit to some curiosity about this movie, but I'll be damned before I put any money in the pockets of the people involved with its production. Even if the book had nothing to do with scientology itself, this movie was made because John Travolta is a scientologist and the book was written by Hubbard. They've already accomplished a great deal by getting so much hype about the book and the movie. Many people (including a lot of movie reviewers) who know nothing about science fiction have somehow taken it as fact that this book is some kind of classic. It is nothing of the sort, and anyone who has even a casual acquaintance with the genre could tell them so. The book was terrible; the plot was unimaginative and ridiculous and the writing was stilted and atrocious. As I have read posted elsewhere, many many many other works are far superior to this book and we science fiction fans would have loved for them to have made it onto the big screen BUT their authors didn't become charlatans and develop a sham religion for idiots.
So, even if I am a big sucker for special effects (even when associated with no plot) I will not be seeing this one in the theaters or buying it when it comes out on dvd. -
The New York Times has the following to say about BE:`Battlefield Earth': Earth Capitulates in 9 Minutes to Mean Entrepreneurs From Space.
Man is an endangered species," announces one of the titles at the beginning of the sci-fi lump "Battlefield Earth." And after about 20 minutes of this amateurish picture, extinction doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Sitting through it is like watching the most expensively mounted high school play of all time. The film is stocked with evil aliens who, in their padded body stockings, plastic armorlike fittings and matted hair extensions, resemble nothing so much as members of GWAR, the metal-rock parodists that Beavis and Butt-head loved. It may be a bit early to make such judgments, but "Battlefield Earth" may well turn out to be the worst movie of this century.
"Plan Nine From Outer Space" for a new generation.
http://www.nytimes.com/ -
*shrug* whatever. . .
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I did. So there. And besides,what do you guys expect from summer movies? That's where all the mindless bubble-gum popcorn flicks come out. Suspend all reality,& enjoy yourself.The movies are escapism...so have fun.I'm sure Battlefield Earth will do it for me,& the rest of you. Remember the summers of past....Indiana Jones....Terminators....Star Trek films...ID4......Lethal Weapons...You can find faults in any (or All) of them,But that's what summer is about.Too Damn hot to go outdoors anyway. Christmas time movies is when most of the more "seriuos" pics come out,for oscar contention. Except for Bond. So are you ready for the summer??? 'Course,there's always Godzilla.........oooo
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Matteoh! You $cieno $hill merchant! I was wondering when you and you Thetans were going to ooze on over here and put a $pin on Bottomdump Earth like the little L Ron brain-on-remote-control turd that you are. I won't continue to demolish you pathetic 'reputation' any further, as I think Eric Costello has already done this far better than I will ever manage. What I will say though, is to remind you that my edict of Fair Game on you still stands. I'm on your Co$ case, my friend! there's nowhere you and the CO$ robots can hide! Thetans? You'll be begging to get them back after I invade your head with a little cult-deprogramming. Normally, I charge, but I'll do YOU for FREE.
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How on earth is that a positive review?The film sounds like it's got absolutely nothing going for it other than the presence of John Travolta.And judging by the films he's been in lately I'm begining to think his name wont be worth shit in HollyWood.It wouldnt surprise me if he wanted to make another Look Who's Talking film!
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Here's a page with links to a bunch of reviews: http://www.lermanet.com/reference/BatEarthfaq.htm
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May 12, 2000 6:15:06 AM CDT
People who use the word "artsy" are people who DON'T understand
by happyjawa
But this flick still looks like a booger of a movie.I couldn't even tolerate the book. I'll waste my $$ on something else...
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"American Psycho is a thinking mans movie" - Yeah, I would agree. I was "thinking" throughout the entire movie. Thought #1 - Hmm...why is that itch on my ass more interesting than this movie? Thought #2 - Why am I the only person that has not left the theater? Thought #3 - I wonder...If I cut my wrists now will I die before this pile of shit is over? Thought #4 - I think I'm going to kill every person that works at this fucking movie theater. They should have warned me about this movie and now they will pay for their crimes!!
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your right quint. and your cool as hell. keep it ..... up
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May 12, 2000 12:19:54 PM CDT
The verdict is in......Battlefield Earth is one of the worst fil
by monkeylucifer
Well, just head on over to Rotten Tomatoes (which is THE best review site on the web, 'cause they collect reviews from everywhere, even AICN) at http://www.rottentomatoes.com/movies/titles/battlefield_earth/reviews.php where Batlefield Earth garners an 08% approval rating, which is 2 positive out of 24 total reviews. The only two positives came from JOBLO'S MOVIE EMPORIUM which calls it "fun cheese" anyway. The only films to get a lower ranking this year are: "Eye Of The Beyholder", "The Skulls", "Down To You", and "3 Strikes." Congratulations Mr. Travolta and Co$ zombies everyhwere.
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Ebert hated it too. He said, and I quote, it is "A film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies." At least he got this one right.
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I've been reading all the hideous reviews of B:E, and I'm not going to disagree with any of them, as I haven't seen the movie yet. Except as regards one thing: You keep calling this the worst movie, or even one of the worst ten movies, of all time. How quickly we forget! In no particular order: 1. Convoy, 2. Maximum Overdrive, 3. Superfuzz, 4. The Big Lebowski, 5. Wing Commander, 6. Teen Witch, 7. Trinity, 8. The Godfather, Part III, 9. Smokey and The Bandit Part Two, and 10. Barbarella.
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That really bad movie with Shaq O'Neal as a genie - Kazaam
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"Megaforce" with Barry Bostwick and Persis Khambatta? Or "Krull"?
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The singing of songs could not express how horrid, how vile this movie was. I was absolutely FORCED to sit through this tripe, because I was checking a print for quality. If you're out there thinking "oh boy! i'm going to see this movie because it's bound to be so bad that it will entertain me!". WRONG!! DON'T!! I'm serious! My favorite part was the end credits!! Don't pay for a ticket, because it will only encourage trash like this in the future. This is Satan's movie.
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In lieu of Battlefield Earth, I suggest these fine titles to keep your campy urges in check: (1) Hell comes to Frogtown, starring "Rowdy" Roddy Piper; (2) Manos: The Hands of Fate, but only the MST3K version because it's unwatchable otherwise; (3) No Holds Barred, starring Hulk Hogan; (4) Point Break, starring the incomparable Keanu Reeves (OY AM AN F... B... I... AGENT!); and lastly (5) The Next Karate Kid, starring Pat Morita and Oscar-winner Hilary Swank.
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Thus they will become the Church of Scatology
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I loved it. The only hang ups I can imagine people having with this movie is getting lost in the detail. The connection between cause and effect is somewhat lost. (In this movie an effect can be greater than its cause.) And the language representation has problem. Question: If an Alien speaks another language should he A: speak his native language, B: have subtitles or C: speak english. This movie picks A and C. And even blends the two in the same sentence. I thought it was very mood oriented, and I was able to accept the way it was delivered because I always understood what was going on. The ideas represented were awesome. The vision was consistent. See this movie and try to image the bigger picture that this movie presents: What happens to humanity if they had no knowledge of their past? What about the human spirit? What about human will power?
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Gee with a great sounding movie such as Battlefield Earth (sarcasm), I can't wait to see what kind of force-fed crap the motion picture industry is going to give us this summer as well as next summer.! Rocky and Bullwinkle, X-Men, Charlies Angels, sequels etc. GIVE US ORIGINALITY! Movies based on pulp sci-fi, comic books, and old TV shows ARE GETTING TO GOD DAMN OLD TO GOD DAMN FAST!
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Gee with a great sounding movie such as Battlefield Earth (sarcasm), I can't wait to see what kind of force-fed crap the motion picture industry is going to give us this summer as well as next summer.! Rocky and Bullwinkle, X-Men, Charlies Angels, sequels etc. GIVE US ORIGINALITY! Movies based on pulp sci-fi, comic books, and old TV shows ARE GETTING TO GOD DAMN OLD TO GOD DAMN FAST!
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Gee with a great sounding movie such as Battlefield Earth (sarcasm), I can't wait to see what kind of force-fed crap the motion picture industry is going to give us this summer as well as next summer.! Rocky and Bullwinkle, X-Men, Charlies Angels, sequels etc. GIVE US ORIGINALITY! Movies based on pulp sci-fi, comic books, and old TV shows ARE GETTING TO GOD DAMN OLD TO GOD DAMN FAST!
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THE REAL DIRT ON SCIENTOLOGY:
All the bad rumors based on scientology are all false.
I go to a scientology based school and have been to a few scientology places myself, done a few scientology courses here and there, and my only complaint about it is that stuff they send in the mail, which I don't care much about anyway.
1. If scientology sends you mail, simply say "take me off your mailing list". It's that simple. You do that, and you are off the list. They will try to promote you into scientology, but if you simply won't do it, they will take you off. Take christianity for example, they claim that if you don't believe in jesus, you are going to hell. Isn't that worse than getting mail?
2. Most of the stories that you hear are false or are severely altered to make it seem bad. The one about Xenu or whatever is %70 false from how scientology wrote it. And L. Ron Hubbard almost died getting the information, literally. The bible was written by people who thought the earth was flat.
3. 5 days a week I hang around with scientologists, they are not insane or anything like that. They are normal kids just like what you used to be, possibly smarter than you. They don't go to burn flags and praise the devil like you all make it seem. They aren't nazis like you make it seem. Some of them are african american, so that bullshit about scientology being racist is very false. Psychiatrists are the ones who carry on what the nazis used to do. Pulling out parts of your brain, shock therapy (also known as shock torture to the nazis, but with a new name), most of the time making you mentally retarded.
4. The bible has been altered so many times throughout history. The books written by L. Ron Hubbard have never been changed. Infact, the bible once had information about past lifes and being exterior from your body. But sometime through history it was removed so soldiers wouldn't fight less and believe they get a second chance at life.
5. Scientology isn't a cult. Consider it to be a new religion. Christianity was a new religion once. People can't accept the fact about a new religion without it being a cult. An example of a cult is Heaven's Gate.
6. No matter how much you try to make scientology go down and how much you want it banned from the earth, it will never die. Because scientologists aren't stupid. They aren't going to say "welp, scientology's gone, better go back to being a christian". Scientology is a way of living, from communicating, studying, staying healthy, etc. While christianity is a way of believing. Christianity doesn't have any way to help you improve your life or anything like that, it just says "god exists, you die you go to heaven, jesus was a nice guy". And I think L. Ron Hubbard could care less if scientology praised him or not, but scientology chooses to praise him because he's the one that brought the religion in.
7. The bullshit about L. Ron Hubbard hiding from the feds is so false it's funny. He wasn't hiding, he just went into the dark for a while. He was writing books and studying. He would jog on the beach every day. Drive around in his car. Do things a normal person would do.
8. The fact that you believe there is a huge guy in the sky and no life on other planets is both funny and scary at the same time. Most of the things science proves, scientology proves at the same time. Science deals with math, which is the basis of all logic. If christianity doesn't work well with science, what does that say about christianity being logical? Think of scientology as being science's religion.
9. You all talk about how scientology could not be true, but you never talk about how it could be. Well here's something I'm gonna throw out there. A girl who was deep into scientology died a while ago. About 10 years after her death, she came back in a new body and continued her training right where she left off. Which meant she didn't recap anything she learnt in her last lifetime or anything. She told what her name was on her last life time, told them where she was at in the to level, they got out the file from her last lifetime, and she started again. I could get really deep into things scientologists who are really deep into it can do, but it would take up a post of it's own.
10. Battlefield Earth has nothing to do with scientology.
So all of you who think scientology is a joke, then fuck you and get a life. -
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ???? Some girl died and then came back to life ???? I seriously think you need to go out and get a life, those scientologists are having too much influence on you.
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More please! You know the problem with religion? Everyone thinks theirs is better.
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1) Flash Gordon
2) Barbarella
3) Beastmaster
4) Yor, The Hunter From The Future
5) Conan The Destroyer -
They really have got to you, haven't they, you poor kid! Believe me, you want to escape from this cult as soon as possible. You are clearly deep into it, but there is always hope. Go to the police and tell them you want out. Call a help line. Something. Anything! I can't believe people can have their minds messed with in this way. Jerky, convert him to Jerkology. Show him that the shit they put in his head is best expelled rapidly from the other end.
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May 12, 2000 5:02:04 PM CDT
dmodog-that girl died because she wasn't allowed the proper medi
by uncapie
What do you call a "religion" that is allowed to persecute, hound individuals and destroy their lives, if they go against $cientology? Why do $cientologists give you that e-meter bullshit and then find out your deepest, darkest secrets, then use them against you in a form of blackmail if you want to leave the cult? Why wasn't that dying girl given the proper medication that would have saved her life, but was denied by her peers because she belonged to your "religion"? You say she came back into another form and is alive today? Well, why just you go tell it to the guys on the spaceship behind the Hale-Bopp comet, if you can catch up to them.
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As i have just seen the Movie, i feel that i must do the Comic Book Guy thing to do and register my complaint upon the internet.
It was one of the WORST movies i've ever seen in theaters. Seen Worse on Video, but They at least had breasts or something to redeem them...anyways...
First off, the Dailog is horrible, Acting was as Hammy as a thousand pigs, the colors were all wacked out, the picture was on something akin to a 45% angle for the whole movie...i could go on. The Special effects were kinda neat, but these days its hard to do bad SFX.
there was just so many things that didn't make sense. My Biggest Complaint was the Chinko! arrgh! CHINKO, root CHINK, racist tearm for Chinese. How on earth could they of let that stay in? Even the worst episode of Voyager had more redeeming qualities...
And Something intresting..i noticed a person who i Know works that the Dianetics Center here in halifax in the theater...After the movie was over, he pulled out some flyers....i didn't stick around to find out what they were...Anyways...Bad Book, Bad Movie... -
May 12, 2000 5:41:13 PM CDT
Superninja, I hope your list is a "so-bad-they're-good" list, 'c
by dave_f
Oh my god, the glorious cheese of "Flash Gordon" will never be captured by another film, ever! Never again will anything be so garishly bad, and so perfect for it! "I'm not your enemy, Ming is! Let's all team up and fight him!" ****** And yes, I think I have seen every bad movie you listed, though "Yor" is remembered only in a youthful HBO haze. Ummm, didn't Yor use a cheesy paper-mache pterodactyl as a hang glider at one point?
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May 12, 2000 6:59:46 PM CDT
Oh, yes, Cormorant. Flash Gordon happens to be one of my favori
by superninja
I love that movie! I thought Ming's daughter was the coolest chick ever. The last movie I ever saw that actress in was Oscar w/Stallone. The set and costume design was unbelievable, and the soundtrack THE BEST EVER MADE -- LONG LIVE QUEEN!!! Anyone who doesn't think Brian Blessed, Peter Wyngarde and Max von Sydow rocked the house in that film should be shot! And yes, I did see YOR on HBO all summer long!!! I'm so glad I wasn't the only one to suffer in estacy and agony!
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flash gordon sucked, now flesh gordon, thats another story, great plots, sets an a+ acting. god bless 60's 'lets make a movie where everyone has sex' movies
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...but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!' A film that combines Brian Blessed and Queen together? How can it fail? It was a great film, and as trivia not many people notice Robbie Coltrane as the plane mechanic. I always loved the planes at the wedding with a message like 'All subjects will celebrate... on pain of death.' And I repeat my plea for someone to help that scientologist kid dmodog. 'What do you mean scientologists approaching? Open fire. ALL weapons!'
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...and cuz it's such goddamn fun!
Yes, Sweden has a Freedom of Information act (called "Offentlighets Principen") which dates back to the 1650's, yes not the 1950's - the 1650's! Anyways, when the CO$ knocked on the door and asked to have their precious Dianetics removed from public availability the Swedish goverment pretty much just turned around and said fuck off.
I mean in one corner there's one of the oldest freedom of information laws on this planet, and in the other there's a religious cult which was spawned from a nifty theory of selfhelp therapy. (It was meant as psychology - not religion, but hey, I guess there's more money in religion, huh?!) Who do you think will win. Also the lawsuit was brought up through a U.S. court. Last time I checked Sweden was not U.S. territory (that might have changed but what the hell).
Another thing - L. Ron Hubbard? What is that, French? ;) -
May 12, 2000 8:09:01 PM CDT
Okay all you Scientologists out there I have just ONE question f
by monkeylucifer
Why is it that the "Church" of Scientology is the only religion that charges for what it proposes to be the "truth"? Any REAL religion has houses of worship where anyone interested in said religion may enter freely and hear their message. You are not a member of a religion, you are a member of the worst scam to have ever seen the light of day. I don't support organized religion anyway....faith is an extremely personal matter.
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It boggles my mind with the amazingly stupid comparisons between christianity and scientology. Does christianity force you to become a christian? Is their goal to take control of the news media and celebrities? Do they keep the Bible as private knowledge? NO. NO. and NO. that SHIT about changes in the Bible and excised portions, I don't know where the HELL that came from. Christianity is a true faith, because in its truest form it holds to something pure and true. Scientology in its purest form is a brainwashing lie. I am SO pissed off right now.
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Did you shit or what ?? ;)
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Wow. I am in awe. I have seen all kinds of trolling going on in the talkbacks, but this is the first time I can think of that AICN has clearly printed a troll article. Battlefield Earth is better than American Psycho? Excuse me for one moment... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!! Whoo! Okay, I'm better now. Seriously, Quint, there's better ways of getting attention than this. Like suicide.
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Okay, let me be honest. I loved the book. I also loved Bonfire Of The Vanities, which was fucked beyond all belief as a movie.
This was not a faithful rendition of the book.
End story.
The first rule of Hollywood when buying a successful book should be: Don't Fuck It Up.
They didn't with this movie.
They started with a hack write-job, and got B-Class director, Scorer, and Effects units.
That is problem with movie, in that order.
If Ridley Scott had made it, it would rock.
Fuck this anti-Scientology shit.
This movie should have been Raiders meets Star Wars meets Independence Day.
Unfortunately, it is not any.
Roger Christian screwed the pooch with the camera angles. 9 effects teams made the effects inconsistent.
The music, well, I yearned for Carter Burwell, or even, God forbid, John Williams.
Anyway, the movie was a relatively low-budget job, which should have been done as a high-budget mini-series, keeping faithful to the book.
Has anyone else been pissed off when a book wasn't adapted properly?
That is what this forum should be about.
Give some honor, some dignity, some respect, to the writer. Not the hack that takes a good work and bastardizes into extinction.
Damn, people, grow some integrity!
It is a movie, it ain't the original source. -
For actually bringing up why this movie is no good. Those are the other reasons I won't go. Signed, Mebiased.
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What were ya'll smoking when you read it, 'cause I want some...? I read it when I was like 13 and clearly remember thinking "My God, I could write something better than this" When a 13 yr old can poke holes in the science, the plot, the characters, etc... Well, you know... They should have called it "The book that starts out mediocre, gets worse and NEVER FUCKING ENDS" How many endings can a book have? Could this guy have taken a creative writing course? Shit, he violates most of the rules of story and structure. And to dmogod; what the ^&!#@^$^%$*! are you thinking? Sorry but I can't even think of expletives strong enough. Flat Earth? You moron, the greeks believed the world was round long before Christ (and calculated the circumference pretty close). Yes the Bible was edited but "past lives?" what was your source? For a cult that calls itself "Scientology" use a little fucking science yourself and get some sources outside those created solely fellow cult mates. Try reading a book written by someone who doesn't have a vested interest in keeping the wool pulled over your eyes so tight it chokes the blood from your brain.
And for you "The Book was Awesome" Morons, try some of the following:
The Forever War, 2001, Dune, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Rendezvous with Rama, The Foundation Trilogy, Starship Troopers, Enders Game, ... Geez I could go on all night. If you read any of these and can tell me that it wasn't written MUCH, MUCH BETTER than the piece of smoking shit that is BE, just do me a favor and stop reading now or at least DO NOT TELL ANYONE YOU ARE A SCI FI FAN !!! Because you are lying and making the rest of us look pathetic -
May 13, 2000 8:28:31 PM CDT
dmodog...so by your logic, Hubbard is here on Earth somewhere.
by superninja
Wow, he must've sucked if that chick can remember her past life, and he can't. Or maybe the CO$ has him locked up in a dungeon somewhere so he can't blow the lid off their supposed "religion"? What are your thoughts on this?
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RETURN TO OZ may have had big problems (too grim, etc.) but it is hardly among the worst movies made.
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Come on guys. If Jesus could do it, so could that girl. Now, Ayn Rand - there's a wise lady. Forget christianity and scientology, they're both kooky cults. Ayn Rand has the right stuff. You will all buy her books. "Atlas Shrugged" is THE masterpiece of this century. It's a revelation; I used to think rape was bad until the uber-feminist, Ayn Rand, proved me wrong in her first masterpiece, "The Fountainhead". Rape is good! So is Ayn Rand! Forget those crazy religions. All hail Ayn Rand!
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im the master u suck balls white woman against black snake for president hohohohohoho u suck ancients who retards
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