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John Ary's Aint It Scary Reviews #14 Of 31!! CATMAN OF PARIS!!

Published at: Oct. 14, 2012, 8:41 a.m. CST



CATMAN OF PARIS - Sunday, October 14

John Ary here with another installment of Ain’t It Scary Reviews.  I can state without any doubt whatsoever that today’s film is the WORST movie we’ll be talking about this month.


The bad news: The Catman of Paris is a slow and tedious film with about 1 minute of actual screentime for the movie’s monster.  The good news: It only will steal an hour and 5 minutes of your life.  This hardened, dry turd from Republic Pictures has practically no entertainment value.  There’s a plot involving a lawsuit over some classified government papers... a love triangle that has about as much passion as Garfield the cat has for a plate of steamed vegetables and the worst police department in all of France... And that’s the good stuff.  Seriously, do not watch this movie.

Charles Regnier is a famous author who may or may not have revealed some important government secrets in his latest novel.  He’s the toast of the town, but sometimes he gets woozy and begins to have visions of a tropical storm.  Every time this happens, a man dressed in a tuxedo with cat-like powers attacks someone.  After the first slaying, one of the detectives has a scale model built overnight of the crime scene.  Paris’ tax dollars at work ladies and gentlemen.  He believes that the perpetrator of this murder is a … get ready for it... a CATMAN... because the body has slash marks like that of a cat’s claw.  Either he is the world’s greatest detective or a complete loon.  Then some other stuff happens... you know what … I would explain the rest, but I’m afraid I would totally bore you.  Here’s comes the SPOILER...in the end it turns out it was his friend who was the murderer.  He was indeed a CATMAN... The End.  I just saved you an hour and 5 minutes of boredom.  

The Catman of Paris is a low-grade knock-off of the more popular and better produced horror films of the time like The Wolfman or Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  If you want some horror from the 40’s watch those instead.  They actually let the audience see their monsters in action.  Whatever you do avoid this hairball at all costs.  

The Catman of Paris is currently streaming on Netflix...but seriously don’t waste your time.

Check back in tomorrow for a much better Ain’t It Scary Review involving Japanese feline ghost vampires that kill and drink the blood of samurai warriors.

 


Here’s a look back at the Ain’t It Scary Review installments that you might have missed:

The Ground Rules to the Project
#1 Son of Frankenstein
#2 Scream, Blacula, Scream!
#3 Black Sabbath
#4 Maniac
#5 Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon
#6 Invisible Invaders
#7 The Mummy’s Curse
#8 Lord of Illusions
#9 Night of the Demons
#10 Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
#11 The House of the Devil
#12 Dr. Phibes Rises Again!
#13 Audition

 


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