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The Kidd Has The Treacherous Winners Of The SPARTACUS Board Game!!

Published at: Oct. 9, 2012, 1:02 p.m. CST by The Kidd

The Kidd here...

To stake your claim on one of FOUR copies of SPARTACUS: A GAME OF BLOOD AND TREACHERY, the name of the game was backstabbing. Relay your best story of either being the backstabber or the backstabbee, and the four best/worst of them would be in a position to do the same to their family and friends once they rolled the game out on their tabletops. 

Needless to say, some fucked-up shit came across my desk in reading a few of these tales... but when it came down to selected, it was the following four stories that... well, let's just say these games were earned on both sides of the backstabbing equation here.

  • Jeremy Buckmaster

I was after this girl, Liz for over 6 months.  We were perfect for each other.  I am telling my brother all of the tactics and things I am saying and doing to make her fall in love with me.  Liz is with her baby's daddy and I am not the kinda guy to take someone elses woman.  I could have had Liz a dozen times but I was waiting for things to fall apart with the baby daddy.  I know one day that Liz and my brother are going to meet, they are both at my house a few times a week, although their schedules were staggered so I had a few months to work things out.  I pulled my brother aside and I asked him for his word that he would have nothing to do with her, they would only even communicate at my house, and nothing but friends outside of my house.  They visit a bit and hit it off, we all get along great, everything is cool.  I enjoy a good month of playing games with my brother, and my soon to be girlfriend.  Then one day she sends me the text I have been waiting for, she is leaving the baby daddy, she has had enough.  I get so excited, its hard to contain myself.  I am straightening up the house, looking forward to her coming to visit.  She comes right in and sits on my lap and is all loving, life is good.  Then she looks in my eyes and tells me "you know I love you very much right".  I tell her the feeling is mutual.  She goes on to say "I don't know how it happened, but I am moving in with your brother, we have been seeing each other and he asked me to marry him".  I tossed her off my lap and stormed to my room, telling her that she needed to leave, and he needed to hide.  We actually have only spoken once in the last year, and he avoids dark alleyways now.

  • Bas Damoiseaux

Back in elementary school I had a friend (I'll call him Frank), and he continued to be one of my best friends. We did everything together, went to the same school, and even went to the same college. I considered him my best friend for years. In college I met this girl (let's call her Lisa), and I really liked her. She became my girlfriend, and I sometimes didn't have time for Frank anymore. I always encouraged him to get a girlfriend of his own, so we could hang out more together.

My girlfriend is a girl who gets hit on by other men a lot, which in the past had let to cheating. I was always cautious when we went out, so that something like that didn't happen. Everything was great, and we decided to move in together after 2 years. Frank still didn't have a girlfriend, but he was always hanging out with us and wasn't complaining. We were 6 years together now. Lisa and I were happy, and were even expecting a baby. I was planning on proposing to her.

One night I came back from the college library a bit earlier than usual. I noticed the lights were out in our apartment, but I didn't think much of it. I opened the door, turned on the light, and that's when I saw it. Lisa and Frank were having sex on the couch. I didn't know how to react. I started shouting, and threw Frank out of the apartment without his clothes. I just couldn't believe what had happened. I almost smashed the place, but my Lisa calmed me down.

She then said she had to tell me something. Ever since our first month together as boyfriend and girlfriend she had been sleeping with Frank. Even sometimes when we went out, they had sex in a bathroom stall. She had been cheating on me with my best friend for 2 and a half years straight. And to make matters worse, they were engaged, and the child we were expecting wasn't mine but Frank's. My life was shattered.

Long story short. I got backstabbed by my best friend and my girlfriend. This has been 2 years ago now, and I haven't spoken to either of them since.

  • Eric Lane

My best friend was dating a girl I didin't approve of and he just couldn't see how bad of a person (lying, drugs, and stealing) she was, so I had to do something. Since I couldn't convince him what her true colors were I had to get her to leave somehow. I found out through roundabout conversation she had an ex she was still sort of into. I got as much information as I could about them and their previous relationship from respective myspace and facebook pages then purchased and registered a throw away cell phone with the area code where her ex boyfriend lived. I then pretended to be him texting her letting her know that "I" had changed my ways and still loved her and wanted her back in "my" life. Within a month she had caused the situation with her and my best friend to become so irreparable and it had gone so far down hill that she "decided" she wanted to pack her bags and move back home with her mother (presumably to get back together with her ex that was texting her). The same day she moved back home, within an hour actually, she was blowing up that cell phone letting the "ex" know what had happened and that she was newly single. After he had seen her for what she really was in that last month, I figured she was really out of my buddies life for good so I tossed the cell phone in the garbage... but not without first downloading all of the nude pictures I had talked her into sexting her "ex" for future leverage, just in case she came back around. 

  • Joel Mengel

My cousin, lets call him, "Kyle" has as a habit of making fun of people when its at the worst possible moment and usually involving some sort of reference to homosexuality. He doesn't mean it in a hateful way, not at all, its just his way.

So one night, while we are out and about, going from bar to bar, ever single time I would talk to an incredibly beautiful woman who was so far out of my league, he would randomly appear to insinuate I was gay and ruin any chance I could have. Now we are talking about the level of women here would make Gabrielle Union look like a plain Jane, and I bear a striking resemblance to Booger from Revenge of the Nerds.

So now you know know how I was screwed by my cousin... Now for my revenge.

(Important fact, my cousin is a BIG boy, over 300 pounds. This will come into play)

Over the course of the night he got more and more wasted, until he could barely stand. I took this opportunity to take his iPhone from him, go into his settings, reset his Hotmail account password. used his credit card number (THE IDIOT TOLD ME TO HOLD HIS WALLET) and set him up a dating profile on a Bear (the homosexual male kind) dating site, using a photo from his phone that was taken during what I'm guessing was an intimate moment between him and his wife. Then texted his wife from his phone, as him, telling her I changed the password due to someone hacking the Hotmail account. Then left it alone, never said a word, and nothing happened for about 3 days...

Apparently, during that time, his picture became the belle of the ball and his phone began to EXPLODE with message after message, non stop, all day and night. Then his wife, getting suspicious from all the e-mail activity, decided to check out his email account... then she exploded!! She kicked him out of the house for a week, until I managed to convince her it was I who did the deed.

Not surprisingly, they are still mad at me.

And there you have the four winners. Congratulations, I guess.

Thanks to Gale Force Nine for setting this up with us. 

 

-Billy Donnelly

"The Infamous Billy The Kidd"

BillyTheKidd@aintitcool.com

Follow me on Twitter.

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