Hey folks, Harry here with Sheriff John T Chance chugging away at the keg of Hollywood and enjoying the wheat and barley taste of it all. However it looks like he got some bad stuff with ROAD TRIP and an excellent swig in Jason... amazing... who'd a thunk it?

Howdy y'all nasty varmints. Some of yun's had some gruff fer the Sheriff last time out. Well it's time fer you nasty fellers to get back in line and enjoy the show.

Gosh damn, sometimes yer watching a flick and you ponder just how in the name of all that's good and pure did they screw it up so terribly. This movie has a fun concept. One of these fellers made a sex tape with some gal who he diddled despite the fact that he's been in a long term relationship with the belle from TV's Clueless. So, being the stupid fella that he is, he doesn't immediately erase the tape and it gets sent to his real gal who's going to college in the longhorn state.

Nice set up, could've been fun. Instead we get a cross between Forces of Nature and with the intelligence of a Pauley Shore gag me movie. Oh, and when the filmmakers knew that it was absolutely, 100% NOT FUNNY, they decided to spice it up by throwing in a little of American Pie's gross out humor. Hint to all aspiring moviemakers, jokes about bodily fluids can not save a wretched piece of crap.

The performances. There isn't any acting going on here. These guys are playing the same character they've always played. From the guy in Dancer, TX to the guy in American Pie, there's no change. Just a stock character with no depth emotions to make him real. And Tom Green plays Tom Green. These actors either new this flick would suck and gave up trying to be funny, or they have no comedic talent to begin with. I know Tom Green's usually funny, so I'd wager even the actors knew they were making crap.

Final thoughts? You know when you get that microwave popcorn that's old and only 1 or 2 kernals pop and the rest is just hard pieces of corn that get stuck in your teeth? That's what I give this film, minus those two pieces of popped corn. 1 bag of old, stale, rotten popcorn for this utter crap fest.

The original film of the same name is a classic. All dedicated movie goers have seen it. The Sheriff saw it when he was just a deputy and loved it ever since. When he heard they were remaking it with JASON LONDON of all people in the lead role.. well, let's just say he couldn't keep down his grits and opossum lunch. So, when I was forced to watch the latest NBC special effects extravaganza, I didn't eat before hand.

What did I get? The shock of my life. Now don't miss-take me, this is a completely different film from the original. That was a smart move by the filmmakers, because they could never have equalled the first. This is a gorgeously shot movie with great roles from everyone involved.

You know the story, Jason's trying to find the Golden Fleece, Jason has hot sex with a busty gal, Jason angers the Gods, Jason emerges victorious. So why go into the plot. Let's concentrate on the visuals which were world's better than ABC's putrid Arabian Nights. The colors are so vibrant, the effects so crisp, so real, it blew me off the bar stool

The performances? Jason London amazed me. He always reminded me of the pothead he played in Dazed & Confused. I could never get that image out of my head. So how could he play this mythical hero? He did it, somehow. He made me forget that he's just the lesser known brother of Jeremy and he stole the show. He's surrounded by an amazing cast. Dennis Hopper is always fun. Natasha Henstridge might just have a future as an actress and not just a pretty face. Jason's sidekicks were very good and Angus McFadyen(Robert the Bruce from Braveheart)plays a deliciously cruel Zeus.

Overall, I was floored. Just know again, this isn't the same film we all know and love. Don't watch this expecting it to be better or worse than the original because it's too different. I say, I don't usually go for network trash, but this is an easy 3.5 boxes of popcorn with heavy butter and plenty of salt.

This is Sheriff JT Chance strapping on the six shooter and riding into the sunset until next week.