Cool News
Hatchet Harry chop-chops on Zemeckis' WHAT LIES BENEATH with Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer
Hey folks, Harry here with some none too happy of news. Wednesday night in Plano, Texas Robert Zemeckis and crew did a test screening of WHAT LIES BENEATH. So far, I've only heard from one person that attended, so you have to realize that there is a chance that this is that person who's filmgoing opinion you wouldn't trust one single iota. Also, you have to take into account that this was the first test screening of the film... anywhere. This is where Zemeckis finds out where things don't work or do work in his film. Now, I am an unabashed fan of Robert's work. He's never made a film I didn't enjoy, now saying that... I have always felt this script was a little on the weak side, as has Moriarty... but we had both hoped that the draft we read, which was from before Zemeckis' attachment to the project would undergo massive rewrites, because... at the film's heart there is a very strong hook to the story. The following reviewer calls the film "a large, steaming pile of shit." Well, that's pretty hardcore. It should be noted that the film is not near completion, that there is a possibility of reshoots, re-edits, additional effects and a delay in release to give Zemeckis the time needed to fix the problems. It should also be noted that the post-production of this film has been a bit odd, since Zemeckis has been filming on CASTAWAY and has interupted the Post-process on the film. Hopefully, the film Hatchet Harry saw... won't be the film that you and I will see in theaters late July... but if it is, then all the problems he has... were script problems that we saw in early drafts that were just never fixed. Here's hoping, eh? NOTE: THERE ARE SOME MODERATE SPOILERS ON THE FILM BELOW. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
Hey Harry!
This is my first time to write a review for your web site. I check out
aint-it-cool every day, but I never interact with all of your minions in
the talk backs. However, last night I attended a screening for the new
Robert Zemeckis/Harrison Ford/Michelle Pfeiffer extravaganza and I felt
compelled to give a heads up to all the movie fans out there. The name of
the movie is "What Lies Beneath". After seeing the movie I know exactly
what lies beneath......a large, steaming pile of shit.
Harrison Ford has always been my favorite actor. The list of hits is well
documented, but this man has got to start choosing better material and
fast! He needed a big hit after that 2 hour snooze fest called Random
Hearts and WLB is not it. Not even close. There are a few early moments in
the film where he reminded me why I've always loved his work. There's an
arrogance - a confidence that most actors could only dream of when he
delivers certain smart-ass lines. He's always known how to hit the perfect
note when it comes to sarcasm. And the chemistry with Michelle early on is
very good. But things start to slip away in the middle third of the movie.
Basically, the plot of the movie revolves around a happily married couple
in the northeast(Ford/Pfeiffer). The beginning of the movie has the parents
dropping the kid off at college and showing how much love Michelle has for
her kid. Later we find out that it's her child from a previous marriage.
Let me stop right here before I go too deep and say this:
I hated this movie. It was not a finished copy(glitches, music, etc...),
but it's pretty much pure shit. I don't even think THE BEST EDIT JOB IN THE
WORLD COULD SAVE THIS MOVIE.
OK, I got that off my chest. Now, the basic premise is fairly interesting.
Pfeiffer is haunted by the ghost of a young girl - the girl's image keeps
showing up in the reflection of the lake and the bathtub.The front door
opens voluntarily, appliances switch on and off, and a picture keeps
falling and breaking The questions are: who is the girl and why is she
haunting Pfeiffer? At this point I'm in to the movie, but I can also sense
that it better go somewhere original quick or I'm gonna tune out. Needless
to say, I tuned out. This movie goes into a million different directions.
It's a perfect example of a great "idea" for a movie that never
materialized on the page or on the screen. Instead of developing the
original idea, the creators decide to camoflauge a weak story with
boring,dull subplots that never go anywhere. The beginning drags a little,
but I was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. The middle went from
fairly interesting to down right stupid. One example: the girl turns out to
be a former student. She disappears.
Did she run away? Is she dead? Pfeiffer realizes it's the girl she's been
seeing in the reflections. How did she die? Did Ford have anything to do
with it? At this point I'm still with the movie. Then Pfeiffer becomes an
"investigator" and goes to the girl's house and talks with the mother. She
steals a lock of hair, which she uses(along with a Ouiji Board) to call the
girl from the dead. The girl's spirit takes possession of Pfeiffer long
enough for her to start having inflagrante delecto with Ford until she
realizes what's going on. The movie came to screeching halt right then and
there. Zemeckis pulled the emergency brake. I think everyone in the
audience subconsciously leaned forward in their chairs, almost falling out
without a seatbelt. From there, it really becomes the most predictable
movie I've seen in a long time. And
last of all there was a finale that had many
people in the audience, most notably myself, laughing out loud. This movie
will be a huge bomb and there's nothing the studio can do to help it out.
I saw this in Plano, TX at a very nice Cinemark theater. I'm interested to
see other people's reactions that may have also been there with me.
Too bad what was lying beneath wasn't a good screenplay.
Later Harry and call me....
Hatchet Harry
ADDED: In response to Templar's absurd notion that I have a hatred for Harrison Ford, I have this to say: "You are so on crack!" Why has AICN been negative on SIX DAYS SEVEN NIGHTS, RANDOM HEARTS and THE DEVIL'S OWN? Is it a hatred for Harrison Ford, or the fact that these movies are far less than stellar. My opinion on Harrison Ford and his career as of late has been that he has ceased to take challenging roles and films that would place him in front of tough directors that can illicit a startling performance out of him. I am hoping that WHAT LIES BENEATH is a step in the right direction. I want to LOVE the film. However, all this review tells me is... Don't get TOO excited. Calm down, it might blow pretty bad. Meanwhile, I'll cheer from the top of my chair that GLADIATOR is the second best Ridley Scott film, and then point directly at BLADE RUNNER and say... that's the best. When Harrison Ford dropped out of TRAFFIC, I was extremely frustrated, because the script was brilliant, it was to be a film with a director at the top of his game, and it would be a role like we've never seen Harrison in. At the end of the day.. he basically chickened out, because the role was going to be tough, both emotionally and politically. I just wrote a major piece the other day about HARRISON's possible involvement in GEMINI MAN or SUM OF ALL FEARS, and at least with GEMINI MAN, I know it has a fantastic script.. if only a great director gets attached. I don't hate Harrison Ford. His face is on my cieling and my walls as Indiana Jones and Han Solo. All I want is for him to cease making mediocre films and make great films again.
-
+ Expand All
-
must be the early morning. everybody's probably studying for finals like i'm supposed to be. anyway, here's my smart ass remark...uh, i can't think of one. fuckin' finals.
-
...harrison ford makes me think of...ah, no...zemeckis's name sounds like...uh, nothing there...michelle pfifer (however the hell her name's spelled) sounds...er...shit, nevermind, i gotta to back to sleep...
-
May 05, 2000 1:21:55 AM CDT
Just the idea of Michelle Pfeifer giving Harrison Ford a blowjob
by cereal killer
I was thinking this film didn't sound all that good til the reviewer said Michelle gives Harrison a good chugging. Hell, they can edit the rest of the movie out and just run that scene on a loop for two hours and I'll go see it. Has anyone else noticed that Michelle has had a scene in her bra in almost all of her recent films? "One Fine Day," "Story of Us" and a naked boob shot in "Thousand Acres." Just tell me she strips down before the BJ scene and I'll add this film to my list of all-time faves.
-
Other than Michelle doing anything sexual this movie doesn't exactly sound original or gripping.
-
I also understand that Michelle Pfeifer grows a tail (takes a shit) in the movie. I'd like to see her grunt and free a few brown hostages.
-
Well I hope that this one isn't the steaming pile of turd that this guy makes it out to be, I am really keeping my fingers crossed!
Is it spooky? Are there scary moments? Stay tuned I guess....Please, I really was intrigued when I heard about this one going into production, now I guess I will just have to wait..... -
Another great idea on paper that turns to mud on the screen. "Studio middle managment..you can't live without 'em, you can't...wait a minute! You CAN live without 'em!" Feed them and the readers to the tigers, pronto!
-
...and I will not let Harry Knowles or any other staff member of AICNs spoil my excitement I have about this film for me. I know this site has turned into the anti-Harrison Ford committee...but your hatred for the legend will not minimize my anticipation for this film...or for that matter, any other future Harrison Ford films...whether or not you dislike his recent choices in films or not.
-
May 05, 2000 5:21:13 AM CDT
Harry, come clean, please! Admit your intentions behind your (an
by templer
Do it, Harry! Be honest! I had to figure, the new trailer for 'Beneath' is due in theaters today, and here you are with more anti-Ford articles...sure you didn't write the review...but you made sure you got the word out that 'one' person hated the film that isn't even halfway from post-completion. It appears to me you are grasping at straws. Let the people know your true intentions, Harry. Come clean! Be honest with us here. Tell the truth as to why you are on the warpath with Harrison Ford (your favorite childhood screen actor) and the latter part of his amazing career. And make available what you hope to achieve in your (and your site's) calculated, planned attacks on anything Harrison Ford related. Come clean, Harry. Why are you and your site out to destroy and ruin the reputation of the man that has brought excitement and joy to millions of kids and grownups all around the world for the past quarter-century? Are you reading me? Do you still have a heart in you?
-
Damn. CASTAWAY can't arrive soon enough.
-
The man has the acting range of gumby, if he is in his range, he good. Indy, man with a whip, that quirkly little smile of his, Whapang. Han Solo that quirky little smile of his and a wookie whapang. Instant fan favorite.
Just about every other movie he has ever made has Zeroed in on one of his little quirky little acting things and exploited it. Previous comments were on the money though, smarter selection of roles. Either that or try something completely against typecast, like a villian, that would be a good place to start. -
Over at darkhorizons, they've got the poster to "What Lies Beneath" and it just looks pretty silly. I am not looking forward to this and may simply miss it altogether.
-
I saw it a few days ago and was shocked at how mediocre it was. Don't take harry's word for it....he's obviously been once again intoxicated with the idea of seeing a film before everyone else. the movie looks like a cartoon and must have been written by a real schmuck. It is simplistic as hell and should only appeal to the lower percentile of society. VERDICT...GLADIATOR = LAME!!! May I direct you to ebert's review? REGARDING WHAT LIES BENEATH: Why no mention of Amber Valetta's performance? I'd like to know how she did! She's very weird looking...she should have played an elf in Triumph of the Will 2....oh wait I mean LOTR
-
Gee, what to start with here? Let's see...a quick defense of the Pacific Northwest: probably the most beautiful region of the entire country, and maybe the only part you could possibly see areas not raped by the government or commercial interests. The only mystical thing we have here. Not to mention the home of Tom Robbins, possibly the greatest writer alive, certainly the one who has had a more profound effect on his readers than any other. *** Harry's little update rant on this article: Why does Harry feel the need to comment on Templar's obviously unfounded accusations, when he remained COMPLETELY SILENT after the whole Moriarty/LucasFilm article and TalkBack. We have yet to see an apology for selling out the readers of AICN (and your self-chosen profession) so you could make some lame-ass honorable gesture to Moriarty, who would have forced you at gunpoint to go to the ranch if he had any type of journalistic integrity himself. Or your bitter about-face on the quality of the Phantom Menace, which is clearly the result of a personal (and again, unrofessional) grudge after the Ranch Visit incident. *** As for this talkback, I don't think it's even possible for any director or film to illicit, in Harry's words, a "startling" performance from Harrison Ford. What would be startling is if he chose a decent film to appear in, or if he attempted to break free of his wooden Charlton Heston-wannabe performances he's been doing post-Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade. *** Zemeckis is a hack who, like Spielberg, happens to have a lot of studio clout and $$ to work with whoever he wants and with the best technical support. His 90's work has been characterized by a watered down preachy gloss that makes me want to vomit the more I watch these films. Forrest Gump & COntact were palatable upon first viewing but their empty and soulless right-wing rhetoric disguised as celebration of the independent spirit becomes apparent thereafter. Well that's enough for a few debates...
-
Jeeze, I wish Ford would do a decent film for a change. In fact, no, it doesn't even have to be good. I just want a nice Jack Ryan type action/thriller thing where he points his indignant finger at a bad guy you love to hate. I DON'T want him to get cosy and whatever in some romantic comedy. Save the family drama for the comatose, Harrison, gimme some of that good old finger action...(Hmm, I think I left that last comment a bit open to interpretation, didn't I...?)
-
Remember that sound Lucille Ball did.
"Ewwwwww!"
The movie is in trouble 'big time'
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 419 total posts 209 posts
- WTF HOLLYWOOD: SOLARBABIES -- 131 total posts 129 posts
- Herc’s Seen Tonight’s Return Of THE WALKING DEAD!! Discuss Also DOWNTON ABBEY, FEAR FACTOR, PAN AM, ONCE, SIMPSONS, DYNAMITE, LUCK, SHAMELESS, BAIT CAR, THE GRAMMYS And More!! Sunday Is Sweeps Day 11!! -- 123 total posts 122 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 124 total posts 58 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 191 total posts 47 posts
- Avid Comic Reader Hercules Does Battle With Tedium During Kevin Smith’s COMIC BOOK MEN! -- 43 total posts 43 posts
- If the Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day drops her pen, pick it up, but don’t look at her legs or else it will be on your record. -- 60 total posts 42 posts
- I am The Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day! No, I’m the Behind the Scenes Pic of the Day! -- 27 total posts 27 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 506 total posts 26 posts
- HANNA's Saoirse Ronan to boss around seven little people -- 77 total posts 24 posts