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I DREAMED OF AFRICA review
I have no clue who to blame about the stiflingly awful
film that I stumbled across today, but I’m left... rather
stunned that a studio would actually release this
abomination unto the world.
In the realm of bad cinema you have many levels of
hell... In a way it’s alot like Dante’s map of heaven,
purgatory and hell. Upon each of these levels there
is a different level of bliss or pain.
I DREAMED OF AFRICA may very well be the
lowest descent into Hell I’ve taken thus far in my
years of cinematic experiences.
First, you tell me it’s directed by the man that brought
me CHARIOTS OF FIRE and GREYSTOKE... two
films I enjoyed quite a bit. At ShoWest, I saw the
product reel for the film and had this to say:
“I DREAMED OF AFRICA: Directed by Hugh
"CHARIOTS OF FIRE" Hudson. At first glance I
thought... Hmmm.... OUT OF AFRICA minus Meryl
Streep and Robert Redford and with the amazing
talents of Kim Basinger? But ya know what. This is
beautiful. Images of a hacked apart rhino and other
dead animals... the chasing and brutality of poachers... a
stunning shot of a cobra throwing it's venom... a
windmill collapsing on the African tundra. Has anyone
seen or heard anything on this one?”
In fact Moriarty went even further and said he loved
this Clip!
Looks can be quite deceiving.
I DREAMED OF AFRICA is a film devoid of
narrative structure. You see... No two scenes lead
into one another.... EXCEPT for when in so doing it
would be a Cliché.
I know that sounds impossible, but the film was either
written by a complete Neanderthal, shot by one or
edited together by one.
This is grade school homework on film by the village
idiot society. You can not... under any circumstances
convince me that the same director did CHARIOTS
OF FIRE and this film.
There is no dramatic arc to the film. No narrative
structure. No growth by any characters. Every
tragedy is telegraphed by a TUBA. It is a film of
sub-plots that never amount to anything.
Wife and Husband fighting. Result. None.
Son and Native friend. Result. None.
Mother vs Daughter. Result. None.
Basinger and Tribal boss. Result. None.
Then there are the characters and developments that...
just suddenly appear, like the son’s fascination with
snakes. Or his mysterious, where the hell did the
girlfriend come from part.
Oh... did I mention the Narration? No? Oh dear
God, there’s the narration... as if written by Edward D
Wood Jr, minus the dated camp humor. There are
scenes after scenes of roving African landscape with
Kim’s stunning face and a narration talking about...
oh... how lonely she is.
But see... I don’t really know who to blame for this
one. It’s like a universal nightmare just exploded on
screen.
What’s the film about?
In a nutshell, a self-important woman gets kicked in
the face by life, while taking no lessons from it.
Vincent Perez? Well, he tries to be Antonio
Banderas, but he comes across like a glue sniffer in
this film.
At all points, anytime we might possibly fall endanger
of seeing a narrative develop, a plane flies in and we
get p.o.v. shots of Africa from the air.
Oh.. which brings me to the shitty photography in I
DREAMED OF AFRICA.
Now I know... “but those shots are gorgeous, it’s so
epic...” BULLSHIT... The camera work is sloppy,
the colors muted, the angles bland and locked down.
It always feels like a postcard that you can’t move
that... was a card you didn’t buy.
They can’t even handle dialogue filming adequately.
It’s as if the film was thrown together by first year
film students that hadn’t had a production class yet.
The script? Well, I can’t say, I never read it, but as it
is perceived by this finished product... It’s
non-existent.
This film is boring, dull, tedious, monotonous,
un-interesting, ho-hum, tiresome, wearisome, irksome
as well as being terrible, awful, dreadful, amateurish,
unaccomplished, unprofessional and just plain
BLAH!
This felt like a 6 part mini-series made up of 2 hour
installments, that was forced to be cut down to 2 and
a half hours, but had to tell the whole story.
As bad as they can ever come. Our screening had
walk out after walk out. Afterwards I stood outside
the theater with a dozen or so folks talking about the
stunning display of ineptitude. How does something
like this happen? What’s the history on this film?
Was it taken away from the director? Was there a
script? Was it tested to death? What’s missing? I
mean, obviously the second half to every scene in the
film, but besides that... Was that by design?
This is the sort of film that makes some people not
want to risk seeing movies and paying money. It’s a
slap in the face and bad for filmmaking everywhere
that it be given a screen to stink up. I met NOONE at
the screening that could defend an iota of the film.
Unequivocally, this film sleeps with the fishes.
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+ Expand All
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C'mon Harry, tell us what you REALLY think . . . just kidding, thanks for the warning. I always hated bored, lonely white folk in Africa type stories anyway, and will seek to run from this one whenever possible
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Harry, stop being such a studio shill for once and tell us how you really feel about this movie.
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Harry takes out the heavy ammunition and totally trashes a movie!!! Cool. Nice review as well - thanks to you, Harry, I'll be avoiding this one. Although it does fit in with the theory that one talkbacker had - that AICN is in cahoots with studio heads concerning Gladiator (that's why there have been so many good reviews on the site), because I Dreamed of Africa is Gladiator's only competition this weekend. Nah, could never happen. I trust Harry and his site one hundred percent.
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May 03, 2000 5:57:58 AM CDT
a viscious harry reveiw still isn't as much fun as a Battlefield
by jon l. ander
there the best reason to come to the site at the minute. Still, thanks for keeping us up to speed harry. I'll know to avoid this film like the plague
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5:1 odds this 'movie' scores a best picture nod =) goddamn academy! why can't the mpaa spend more time on keeping crap like this out of the theaters?! it'd make things a hell of a lot better for everyone. ahhwell, i'm off to bed to work on more guzmanisms for tomorrow night. oh, one last thing...metallica blows!-LadiesGuzman
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thats getting tired you know. It was funny when you could think of a decent message, but now you seem to have run out of material.
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May 03, 2000 7:19:56 AM CDT
I was forced to read the book in College No ONE will make me see
by gilmour
The book was horrible! And what's with Basinger? She wins a flucky oscar and now with this film she seems to think she's meryl streep.
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Either one sucks ass. Basinger can't act. She was alright in L.A Confidential, but looked shitty due to all those great performances. This looks really fucking shitty.
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She Banged Russel Crowe that's how she won the Oscar.
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About three tickets will be sold per screen: one to a fat geek chick given to watching romantic weepy flicks and dreaming of Robert Redford, and two to a girl and her boyfriend, and the boyfriend will take pop off to the bathroom five minutes into the movie and spend the next two hours standing at the back of the theater showing Gladiator.
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Never gonna see this one. Actually had thought about it. Thanks, Harry.
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May 03, 2000 8:45:09 AM CDT
This is the review you should've written for The Thin Red Line
by treadwell
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Perhaps you should think twice about criticizing the writing abilities of others when you write sentences like
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TRON rules! I remember when I was a kid how badly I wanted my own lightcycle, and how I'd end my school papers with END OF LINE. Very cool. Anyway, "Africa" certainly sounds bad, based on that review. What a shame. Still, I'll reserve final judgement until I see it for myself. Provided I live to tell the tale...
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Sorry for the confusion. What a dumbass. END OF LINE.
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If only they had cast Bruce Campbell.
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...Because everyone was so completely shocked that she was actually in a good movie, they had to vote for it. Besides, she was the only actor nominated for LA Confidential. A glaring oversight when Crowe, Pierce, and Spacey all deserved nods for their performances as the leads, and Cromwell should have been nominated for Supporting Actor. Be thankful there was one category that Titanic didn't win.
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....FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!!
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"Except for when in doing so" is perfectly fine English -- even above average, given how poorly everyone else writes. This is not to say that Harry uses perfect English all of the time -- he may use "are" when he means "our" -- but if you're gonna criticize grammer at least be correct about it.
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First of all, though it has been said many a time it doesn't hurt to repeat: HOW DOES THIS SHIT GET MADE?
That being said, I think one of the reasons she got the Oscar is pity. Remember what happened with her and the whole "Boxing Helena" fiasco. I think that Hollywood was glad to see that she had made her way back to the screen despite that hardship and even if she didn't completely deserve it... I mean when has deserving an Oscar been a reason for getting one? Did Helen Hunt deserve hers? And to a greater extent Phil Collins? Regardless, she should have had a bit more brains than sign on for something that apparantly sucks. Maybe Max Bialystock from "The Producers" was on to something when he said that actors aren't people. Timmy! -
How about a movie set in Africa about Africans?
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Don't take any damn prisoners. Tear it to shreds. Shit like this deserves it. I knew it'd be bad as soon as I looked at the trailer. I, too, think Kim's a bad actress. I'd have never seen this pooplog of a barely moving picture anyways. I'll be checking out Gladiator and Filth & the Fury this weekend!
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Yet you keep coming here. Yeah, he's really easy on the special effects laden movies, but if he hates a movie, I believe it. ..."Yeah, he's sold out. He's Eisner's fuck-buddy" or whatever else you say.....This "Harry's a sellout" thing is getting old. Give it a rest. If you don't like his "selling out" please leave.
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May 03, 2000 11:13:06 AM CDT
Hahahahaha... as I was mentioning Jeff Bridges last night in Tro
by pips orcille
Harry, that is sooo weird. When you were mentioning the "Dude law" or whatever you called it, I was talking about how I couldn't get over the fact that Jeff Bridges was in "TRON", I never thought that a "TRON" animation would be made. However it is, and it's gnarly dude. How ironic! Anyway Harry, here's another comparison... Is "I Dreamed of Africa" BAD, as in "Soldier" bad?
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My friends and I used to always get in trouble in elementary school for throwing frisbees at each other while playing Tron. Anyway, I thought that Vincent Perez WAS a glue sniffer?! Is there any Basinger Booty in this film? Ahh, I guess ill just go watch my Directors Cut of The Getaway..go get some Captain Baldwin! Ahoy matey!! WOOOO!
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Haven't seen it yet, but the previews I saw looked like crap, so I had already predetermined that I would never see this film, either now or ever. This review just reinforces my decision. I wish the people who put "products" like this out to the public would take a one way trip to Antarctica. Losers.....
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Darn - I though "Jerky McJerk" and "Darth Malevolence" would chime in on this one...oh well.
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Great review Harry. I was just thinking last night when I saw a TV ad for it, well, I had two thoughts- 1) No thanks and 2) Wow, whoever thought I'd live long enough to hear the words "academy award winner" and "Kim Basinger" in the same sentence. Anyway, I'll be stepping real wide around this peice of rhino dung. But one thing I'd definitely pay to see would be a remake of Tron, it's begging for the remake treatment, now effects are so much more advanced and, yeah I know the original was a box office disappointment but so what? It was great and now it's a big cult movie, as your animation shows. I think people would form orderly queues round the block if a studio had the balls to update it and do it justice.
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Starring Luis Guzman as Luis Guzman, Bruce Campbell as Xiang Kai-Shek, and Clint Howard as Hugh Hefner. A MUST SEE!
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Nearly two yers ago, some casting agents came round my school in London looking for two actors to play the part of Kim Basinger's son: aged about ten and seventeen. I tried for the 17 year old part, and I encouraged my brother to try for it. He got called up again for a second meeting and audition in some offices in South West London. Anyway, for this second audition he got a copy of the script - he read it, I read it. This second draft (my brother was told that another rewrite was coming soon) was adapted by Paula Milne from Kuki Gallman's own autobiography. Kuki Gallman is the real-life Kim Basinger part, who went through all those tragedies... I hadn't heard of her two years ago, but some people since have said her autobiography was a great book, some, er... not so great. But don't forget that this REAL person has been through all these experiences in the film. However the name Paula Milne made me pay attention. Milne had written two of the very best series on British television in the past decade - The Fragile Heart (Nigel Hawthorne having doubts as a heart surgeon sent to China) and The Politician's Wife - Juliet Stevenson getting her own back on her cheating politician husband; Minnie Driver played the husband's mistress. Now, the date for the IDOA script was 1997, a year before the audition, so it seems as though this script and idea was hanging around for a long time. There were some deleted scenes, some very dodgy dialogue (Paolo (Kuki's 2nd husband):"How can something feel so right when all your logic tells you that it's wrong"), some strange spiritual sex scenes (Basinger feeling herself a bit when she finds out she's pregnant again) and something with an ostrich egg, I think, giving her spiritual signals about impending offscreen tragedy... I've got no idea how to review screenplays (and I haven't looked at it for about 18 months); the only thing I can remember was how very few verbs there were in the text. Anyway, my brother didn't get the part. I've no idea how much of what I read made it onto the screen, even if Paula Milne supplied the final draft. I thought you might like my tuppence worth on the film's background. Oh, and Harry, what's wrong with tubas?..
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Who the hell would make a movie today romanticizing Africa? Talk about a moronic theme, especially with excellent books on the market like I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT TOMORROW WE WILL BE KILLED WITH OUR FAMILIES and KING LEOPOLD'S GHOSTS, which pretty much crucify the last vestiges of the romantic notions of deepest darkest Africa. Africa today is the armpit of the world: between genocide in Rwanda, Burundi, Congo, Uganda, civil wars in Sierra Leone, Liberia, Congo (Brazzaville), a major war being waged involving most of central Africa, racial civil unrest exploding in Zimbabwe, and starvation rampant in Somalia, Ethiopia (with its renewal of war against Eritrea), and the Sudan. Not to mention the horrible AIDS epidemics in Kenya, Zimbabwe, Uganda and Tanzania (where 25% of the population is infected). Gee, let's do a remake of OUT OF AFRICA!!
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Didn't quite finish my punchline: let's do a remake of OUT OF AFRICA and call it FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET ME THE HELL OUT OF AFRICA, NOW!!!
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i'll be the nice guy and say i'm sorry this movie is apparently such a bummer. basinger seems like a nice lady. it almost doesn't matter if it's any good or not, at least box-office wise, because going up against gladiator i think it was gonna get lost in the shuffle either way. i remember thinking when this project was announced that it was a risky/odd choice coming off her oscar. a drama about africa, directed by hugh hudson, with no other stars? i don't think so. she should've done a couple of more commercial things before she tried for the serious stuff. also, her next film is yet another devil/satanic thriller opposite that noted box office heavyweight jimmy smits,so things aren't exactly looking up. this lady needs to work with some great directors, like she did with curtis hanson.
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I saw the trailer.If it was my movie,I would have sued!BORING!Many,many times over.At least 'Final Destination' looked interesting.I feel this could've been made into a very good porno movie........
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RE: Why, yes a very KINKY porno movie with agreed upon bondage.9 1/2 weeks anyone? Harry is right;didn't Meryl Streep do this already?(NO! not the bondage part).
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Harry, I'm so glad to see you still have it in you. I saw a preview for this film yesterday on the Discovery Channel (channel w/animals, let's run the ads there), and the 'starring Oscar Winner Kim Basinger' made me snarf my coffee. This film should disappear so fast the vacuum alone with suck the felt off the theater seats.
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Ok first of all, what the fuck Harry? When I logged on today and the first thing I saw was yer HARRY'S REVIEW OF "I DREAMED OF AFRICA" I thought, God, he has lost it big time, the marbles are all over the floor and there ain't no turning back! But then I realized that honey, not since Batman and Robin days have I read such a awful review and it was refreshing like a kettle one and tonic on a hot summer day to read such a trashed review! Harry can you review a good bad movie? Like Mommie Dearest or something? Honey this will totally make that whole OSCAR CURSE seem true, I hope Hilary Swanks next movie, something the affair of the neckalce is not going to be like this one, although her white trash hair in the gift really scares me! One look at this poster for I dreamed of Africa made me go "OH MY GOD, THAT IS PUTRID!"
KIM Bassinger will soon have her own clothing line at WAL-MART, you just wait and see! -
Guys, I'm not gonna weight in on the AICN/studio favors controversy, but I can tell you Gladiator is not being fluffed. I saw it last night (Tuesday), and (as an unbiased viewer) I can definitely say it was above and beyond even my highest expectations. It's a shame that the potential of the most kick-ass film in years is suddenly being questioned because a certain website may or may not be involved in shady dealings. I am sure there will be at least a few naysayers about Gladiator (even though I can't imagine ANYONE not loving the film). I will say this: the beginning is not as amazing as Harry and others have been making it out to be...in fact, it is probably the weakest part of the film (even though it is still far far above standard fare). But after about the first half hour, this movie fucking rocks! Better than Braveheart, better than Saving Private Ryan...and I say that as an unbiased fanboy...
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This is the worst film I've seen so far this year. There's no arc to the story. It's just a series of events that happen in a row with no structure. The film sets up so many things it doesn't pay off. How about that egg that Vincent Perez puts an note in? Nothing. Basinger's performance is wooden. The movie also jumps years in time with no warning or explanation. Truly a horrible ass-numbing film.
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The grammar may be technically correct, but that doesn't make it good English. The words "in so" are unnecessary to the sentence. He could have left off the "in so" and merely written "EXCEPT for when doing it would be a cliche" and gotten his point across much more clearly. Even then it's a confusing sentence structure. That may seem like splitting hairs, but not when Harry's about to compare someone else's writing to that of a Neanderthal. "Narrative structure" isn't necessary only in movie scripts. Critics need to pay attention to it as well, especially critics who claim someone else has done it badly. In fact, critical essayists (such as Harry) need to pay SPECIAL attention to it. They have to show not only good overall narrative structure, but good narrative structure in each paragraph and each sentence as well. How the hell did I get so serious about this all of a sudden? My brain hurts. Harry, write your reviews any way you want . . . I'm going back to work, it's less exhausting.
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This film sounds like it must be bad if Harry reviews it so poorly! I usually find Harry pretty generous. I read another poor review of this film as well. Too bad - I was really looking forward to it after seeing the trailer.
Oh well, I guess I'll just see Gladiator then. -
What is with grammar these days? Think Different? I Dreamed of Africa? HUH?!?!?!
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First, Harry reviews a lot of films with a very enthusiastic tone, and you accuse him of being in bed with the studios. Now, he trashes a movie and you still bash him. Why don't you fucks go away and be naysayers somewhere else. You're all a bunch of losers that don't know shite about cinema. All you can do is bash and bash and bash. Go ahead and start in on me, now. I won't waste another keystroke on your sorry asses.
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I don
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"I think it was sucky poo-poo. It was the biggest sucky piece of poo-poo ever released by Hollywood ever! Everyone involved with this big sucky piece of poo-poo is a big piece of poo-poo! It sucked so bad! It was poo-poo! In all of civilization (including the Nazi Holocaust) this is the worst thing that has ever happened! I only wish Robert "The Faculty" Rodriquez had been brought in to direct this, because then it would have been COOL! Even better than "Desperado" which was COOL! But it wasn't. It was the biggest crime against humanity of all time (even the Crusades)! Too bad this movie sucked when it could have been COOL!
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and I don't think he claims to be. But the fact is, there is definitely an audience for this film. Do you think the mothers and aunts of this world really want to see Gladiator? Well, maybe a few of them do, but I Dreamed of Africa is perfect, absolutely perfect, counter-programming (is that the right phrase to use?) to Gladiator. Harry, you claim to be an expert on the workings and dealings of filmdom, but yet you question the validity of a piece of crap like I Dreamed of Africa. It's obvious why studios make films like this--for the above reasons. And by the way, Harry...I really hope you get to squelching these rumors, whether they're true or not. And lastly...WHY IS ANYONE READING THIS POST????? YOU SHOULD ALL BE OUT THERE PLANNING YOUR FRIDAY AROUND GLADIATOR...MOST KICK-ASS FLICK IN THE PAST DECADE...I SHIT YOU NOT!!!!!!!!
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Oh, wait. Wrong talkback.
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May 03, 2000 4:34:00 PM CDT
After Harry's embarassing American Psycho review, I don't know h
by niiiice
Honestly, after reading the American Psycho review and seeing the movie for myself, I'd have to say its one of the most embarassing pieces of writing that ever appeared on this site. Harry calls it something to the effect of a cheesy 80's horror film parody. I didn't think it was more painfully obvious what the film was really about. And Harry lashes out against the one thing that most credible critics loved, which is Christian Bale's performance. Harry went "joygasmic" over Fight Club, but a similar message stated more subtly in American Psycho and he just doesn't get it. I think some films are just made on a higher level on intellectual appeal than your typical fanboy can appreciate...Anyway, sorry to vent on this board, but I was just insulted by Harry's review of that film...
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Did anyone here ever trust Harry's reviews in the first place? Anyone who loves Fight Club and doesn't like American Psycho at least a little bit is just a moron who prefers style over substance. Yeah, Fight Club had some fucking awesome direction...other than that, it doesn't hold all that much over American Psycho. And then Harry has the nerve to lambast American Psycho...I remember him saying in chat that you could have fit all the stuff American Psycho had to say into a 15-minute short. What, like you couldn't do the same with Fight Club? Don't get me wrong, I love both films (Fight Club just a little more, though). And like I need some kind of genius to tell me that Gladiator was gonna be awesome. I think maybe Harry should stick to the news (this is called Ain't It Cool NEWS, isn't it?) and leave the reviews elsewhere (Ain't I Lame Reviews, anyone?). Besides, all he ever does is blather on and on about his pseudo-comic book hero escapades for a few dozen paragraphs. Then, when he finally gets to the review, he just uses vague and sometimes ambiguous statements and tries to pass them off as reviews. Oh boy, I'll probably be banned for this post. Nice knowing you guys!
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You mean it isn't it going to beat Gladiator this weekend?!
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I wish Harry had included whether or not there were shots of the native's breasts in this movie. I know my wife is going to drag me to this dog and I want something to look forward to. Also, does Alec Baldwin take off his shirt and make a cameo appearance, playing a gorilla in this movie?
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Pardon me,but do you two know each other? Perhaps you both attend the same 'Anal Fixation' workshop? Lighten up with the English , will ya!? (Geez, I hope that I phrased this correctly...)
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So long as there are people coming into TalkBack debating about whether or not Harry's words are credible, his words are credible. Were they not credible, none of you jerks would be wasting your time questioning him.
Give 'em hell, Harry.
I just wish Mystery Science Theater 3000 was still alive. I'd watch "Dream of Africa" if Servo, Crow and Mike were at the bottom of the screen throwing insults at it.
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If any 'Hollywood' types read this:For gods' sake-Please,no more blonde white women saving the natives movies!"Oh look! This white woman will teach us natives how to act and save us from ourselves!" YAWN.And with Miss Kim starring....sorry,it don't work.She was great in 'L.A.Confidential',but she can't carry a film.Why this insultingly stupid film was even made is beyond me...whoever put the trailer together should be shunned.
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Come on. We're talking about the title of a major motion picture and it sounds like it was made up by a third grader. This is ridiculous. There are college educated people out there coming up with slogans like "Think Different".
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May 03, 2000 7:40:54 PM CDT
Harry, let me get this straight? Don't go see this one, buy run
by robothalo
Seriously, did "I dreamed of Africa" even need a mention at this site. I thought it was called cool news, brothers and sisters? Even if this was a great flick, the space devoted to it should be used to transfer the latest Deep Blue Sea II info or something that's actually "cool". My bothers and sister, I ask you...what happened to the friggin' cool news? Flintstones and the new Basinger movie? C'mon!! This site needs an Ain't It Cool editor. And I think it would go a little something...like this (a one-act play, by RobotHalo):
AINC Editor: "Sorry, Harry, but were not going to post your 'My Dog Skip' review.
Harry: "But it's my site and that little dog was so fucking cool."
Cool Editor: "Harry, just because you are using cuss words and such doesn't make what your talking about or writing about 'cool'. Haven't you learned a thing about writing after all these years?
Harry: "What do you mean?"
Cool Editor: "Let me pull an embarrassing quote from your "Flintstones: Viva Rock Vegas" review. You actually wrote this 'When you hear the delivery from Baldwin... that look in his eye... my god, this might be the best character work of his career. He -
i dont know where you all get off slaggin this film off, the cinematics were breathtaking and the acting was first class, the location of the film was first rate and as for the score, I cant wait till i get it on cd to pump ith through my hi-fi speakers. i know this will not change your minds but i think that you are all just jumping onto the bandwagon by slaggin this superb film off. why not all go watch some crap like matrix 2,3,4,5 ect. you all seem like a bunch of ignorant sheep on this forum, one jumps we all jump well not this time i think its a disgrace that you cannot just watch a film and enjoy it for the 1.5 housr or so it is on for. Anyway thats me had my moan im off to watch it again. Keep up the great work that what i say.
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You have a point.What I want to know is how can I get a job paying large amounts of green,talk shit,AND be taken seriously!"Wow Storm,I wish I could come up with such a lame-ass idea..."
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May 03, 2000 9:42:08 PM CDT
Harry is still trying to prove he's still of the people...
by powerslave
That's why, every year, in an annual AICN tradition, he picks one movie and gives it a bad review. That way, he can say: "See! I don't like everything!" Last year, it was "Inspector Gadget." This year, it's "I dreamed of Africa." Next year? Who knows?
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Okay, so I dreamed of Africa may look beautiful and have some good performers, but the movie doesn't work as a whole. Sounds just like a movie I have seen two or three times and I can't figure out why anyone could like THE ENGLISH PATIENT. It is the biggest bore of a movie I have ever seen. This is a movie which won best picture! Try to watch this one without wanting to at least "take a break" , it's not possible! I HATE THE ENGLISH PATIENT!!!! I love Willem Dafoe, and even Ralph Fiennes, but I really hate this movie.
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An unabashedly negative review on AICN!? Gee, given the great reviews of the Haunting, maybe a bad review means a really good movie. Oh, I am so confused! Oh yeah, this does sound exactly like the Thin Red Line.
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May 03, 2000 11:56:45 PM CDT
If you can give the same review to the Thin Red Line...well, the
by gsolo
Tron rules. Wish Disney and Pixar would make a sequel. Yes, Gladiator, please be cool.
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This is not a new movie topic, But I'm still scared. I was looking for something about the movie "Juice." Awful movie, anyway as I was searching I found a lot of racist's dogma, I would not concern anyone here, except for the fact they had had Email testimonial, but no email address. I'm sorry for interrupting this review, but if there are any hackers out there, make a difference, stop kidding around with CNN, and post the truth on these fools bullshit. Make a difference that actually means something! Sorry, about that, I.D.A looks really bad.
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May 04, 2000 1:32:31 AM CDT
I Dreamed of Yet Another Film About White People in Africa...
by flickchick
...or is that a redundant, cliched nightmare??
As an african-american, person of color, black, whatever we are this week...I find this very annoying.
It would be the equivalent of every film set in Norway (yeah, I know it's stretch, but go with it)...being about black tourists/hunters/explorers/curious-yet-well-meaning-folks...in Norway, with the occasional grinning Nowegian, showing off his "wild exotic" customs...Of course, the black tourists/hunters/explorers... would learn something about themselves and their place in the world, from their wise old Norwegian friend and save
the Norwegians in the process... -
I had a bad feeling about this one as soon as I saw Hugh Hudson's name. Unfortunately, when I see his name, I don't immediately think of "Chariots of Fire", infact I had forgotten how wonderful that film is...because Hudson sticks out so painfully in my mind as the director of that unforgivable bomb, "Revolution" (Al Pacino, Donald Sutherland, Nastassja Kinski;1985).
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If the grammar is "technically
correct", then it IS good English,
or at least good enough. In any event, your criticism is entirely unfounded. Harry's sentence was perfectly clear. Leaving out "in so"
is NOT preferable. The way Harry
wrote it, "clich -
Imagine the sentence written with
a comma: "... when in so doing, it
would be a clich -
It's a well known fact that Harry's reviews of Kim Basinger's work are tainted by the bitterness of their love affair (see the National Newshound article "BEHIND BALDWIN'S BACK" in the April 31, 1992 edition)and break-up over varying interpatations of the sybolism in CHUD.(Harry's tendancy to wear a black cape during intimate moments may also have played a part)But it's no mistake that the studio wanted a re-write on this one-the plan was to take the footage already shot by the Lake Victoria post card company and "Spice" it up with a new plot. Remakes being the thing these days,the movie CAT PEOPLE was suggested as useful ticket fodder.In the new version Basinger's charecter would have strange,erotic dreams ABOUT Africa, and something that she can't quite remember involving leopards. Hoping to recover this suppressed memory, she visits a hypnotist(played by Malcolm McDowell)who encourages her to play with small rubber toys.The therapy becomes more frenzied and erotic as Basinger shreds his office curtains with her long nails. Finally the doctor exposes her to Catnip, and she does a slow peel to reveal-not two, not four, but TEN breasts! The doctor is just about to jump her,when the window shatters, and Michele Pfeiffer (reprising her role as Catwoman) whisks her into the night and the beginning of some purr-fectly erotic nights. BOFFO BASINGER BIZZ!!! SEQUELS SEEN SOON!!! PERFECT PUSSY PAIR!!! I'd tell you MORE dear readers, but it's time to cut some more Hollywood starlets to look like whores.
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Sorry about that, I looked at the bottom and thought it didn't go through
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May 08, 2000 11:29:41 PM CDT
I Dreamed of a Good Movie, and I Got this Pile of Steaming Donke
by lenny nero
There was one good thing that Harry failed to mention, this movie is incredibly easy to sleep to. That was basically my experience at this movie. I was forced to see this, 'nuff said.
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I have just finished reading the review of Battlefield Earth and then I came across this. Being from England I have (thankfully)seen neither of these films but intend to see BE for sheer comedy value. But to the the title of my post Dear god what is happening? The dawn of the new millenium appeared to herald a new golden age of cinema one in which character and plot were every bit as important as star power or special effects. An era in which big Hollywood names were prepared to take a backseat to actors like Philip Seymour Hoffman. Tom Cruise was seemingly trying to tear apart his previous career and alienate half his young female audience by appearing as a mysogynist lecturer from hell purely for the sheer pleasure of being in an intelligent interesting and thought provoking movie. Films like The Insider,American Beauty,Magnolia et al seemed to have established a new template for studios to work from and Indie sensibility with studio backing. And then look what happens an actor with potential to join this movement and add to That other triumph (Pulp Fiction)forgets the plot, churns out an apparently large amount of scientology bollocks and starts the ball rolling for another decade of Hollywood shite This must be stopped now.
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