Cool News
Kristen Stewart Takes Down A Mountain Lion In The New Trailer For THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2!!
The Kidd here...
Yes, it's TWILIGHT... yes, there's Kristen Stewart here... and Robert Pattinson... and Taylor Lautner. You don't have to like it, but I'm sure someone does (the box office proves that). So this one goes out to our fellow Ain't It Coolers, who have a little bit of Twi-hard in them.
MTV premiered the new trailer for BREAKING DAWN PART 2 last night at the Video Music Awards (They still have those?), and here it is...
-Billy Donnelly
"The Infamous Billy The Kidd"
Follow me on Twitter.
Readers Talkback
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must laugh herself to sleep at night, atop her giant pile of money. laughing at how stupid people are for watching this garbage.
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i do take some delight in knowing that kristen was probably bangin' that old guy in her trailer while they were making this, unbeknownst to the sparkly guy whatshisname?
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Where's all the endless six pack shots? I guess it's cause of the snow maybe?
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Just your average soap opera. But it's awesome, apparently, because it involves vampires.
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If I hear that's happened, I'll go see it!
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Imagine being a very mediocre talent but somehow falling into this ridiculous enterprise where, no matter how awful your movie series is, girls will sit through each film 10 times (and, in many cases, force their boyfriends to go along at least once) and you'll become a multi-millionaire earning enough wealth in just a few years to never have to work again. On top of that, women all over the world will suddenly kill each other just for a chance to suck your dick. Golden ticket man.
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In her endless hunt to control all female teenage minds in America, Stephenie Meyer will be taking a cue from Call Of Duty. She'll be splitting the last hour of her latest film, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2: Electric Boogaloo into five different movies. When asked about the unusual sequel format, Meyer simply laughed maniacally and danced about, holding burning wads of cash in her hands.
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NO one of consequence dies. At least in the book no one did. Fucking lame.
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...a snow fight between 45 people. That just screams "Epic Finale".
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Sept. 7, 2012, 9:28 a.m. CST
When did this lame series become a 9-Inch Nails video?
by Apocalypse_Pooh
Seriously, what was up with the tag at the end? Like the opening credits of SEVEN.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 9:33 a.m. CST
I've heard more convincing voice-over narration in pornos.
by godoffireinhell
For fuck's sake.
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im glad this abomination is finally coming to an end.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 9:42 a.m. CST
I am neither 13 years old, nor a girl so I can't say I've seen any of these movies.
by tylerzero
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you cant say X has nice photography or nice cinematography or whatever to haters. I have not seen these films or read the books. cinematography seems panoramic. in these movies. there does seem to be a lot of nature in these films, lots of snow, lots of forests and lots of running. they look terribly dull these movies. I havent seen the first hunger games movie or read those books but they seem more exciting. and violent. from the little I know of hunger games they seem to more about survival.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 9:50 a.m. CST
wait, i thought it was all over??? or was that just a dream
by zom-bot.com
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Really AICN? You're wasting time with this? You know, there was a time when you didn't cover shit. Oh wait, no there wasn't. Carry on then.
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. . . why are you GLAD it's coming to an end? Why's it all LOVE or HATE w/ no INDIFFERENCE?
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How many more of these things are there?
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Sept. 7, 2012, 10:02 a.m. CST
This stuff is 100% PURE EVIL. Takes one to know one. I'm serious.
by Mr. X
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w t f ?
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Sept. 7, 2012, 10:10 a.m. CST
ALERT THIS IS NOT COOL. IT IS LAME AND SHITTY. STOP REPORTING ON SHIT
by Creative
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Sept. 7, 2012, 10:10 a.m. CST
ALERT THIS IS NOT COOL. IT IS LAME AND SHITTY. STOP REPORTING ON SHIT
by Creative
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Sept. 7, 2012, 10:12 a.m. CST
The next inexplicably popular/shitty series women drool over: Fifty Shades of Grey. Mark my words, it'll be the next big movie franchise
by kidicarus
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and he explained it thus: a young woman has a boyfriend who is a vampire, and she also has another love interest who is a werewolf. Why, that doesn't sound so bad! I don't know what you goobers are complaining about.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 10:21 a.m. CST
Kristen Stewart has one of the most slappable faces in history. The fucking mallet forehead alone should have prevented her ever getting near a movie screen.
by Baron Von Penguin
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Sept. 7, 2012, 10:28 a.m. CST
Oh Look Vampires And Werewolves Don't Get Along
by Raskolnikov_was_framed
Part 346
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Sept. 7, 2012, 10:30 a.m. CST
I Saw One of These, and Evaluated Objectively as a Film Fanatic
by Crow3711
Just tried to go in with an open mind as much as I could, as the girlfriend was a huge fan. And I just honestly have to say its a terrible story. It's not interesting, the vampire is the only remotely relatable/interesting character in the whole thing, and it was incredibly silly plot wise. It wasn't even really a plot. There were there actual scenes of "story" or "plot driven action" and the rest was just googly eyes and insipid dialogue. It wasn't the worst piece of shit I've ever seen, far from it, but there was absolutely nothing worth being a fan of either. Lots of things don't make sense or were just clearly written to create a circumstance, not because logic dictated it (they climb a mountain, its sunny, then a massive snowstorm comes out of nowhere just so that werewolf can keep slut warm while vampire is angry and jealous) and then they go down the mountain the next day, no snow anywhere, another sunny day. Just sloppy nonsense.
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And all of you are lying if you say you would;t. She's not the hottest chick ever or anything, but if she was naked in your bed begging you to give her the business…the business would be given. And you know it.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 10:33 a.m. CST
aremisslake - So, are you still on speaking terms with your brother?
by Darth_Kong
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describing the biggest piece of teenage excrement since the arrival of, "Glee", being, "The Twilight Saga". Who in their right mind would want to spend immortality with a morose, vacuous waif like, Kristen Stewart? she has all the personality of a wet diaper. Poor teens - they are subjected to sexually repressed vampires, Jennifer Lawrence, thinking she is hard done by for being chosen by a woman posing as cruella deville, to hunt and maime her fellow subjects, in an enviroment about as threatening as a chav with the shits. Watched, "The Lost Boys" and "Near Dark" again the other day: Oh, the days of old. Come November, the world will be Twilight free and...put up with three more years of being hungry for games.
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Great film! Shit 3D (apart from the slomo bits).
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and I was fairly impressed at how two 2-hour movies could stretch out absolutely nothing for so long. Seriously, nothing fucking happens in those movies. Movie 1: A miserable and exhausted looking girl finds out a miserable and exhausted looking guy is from a family of vampires. They spend the next fuck-knows-how-long looking miserable and exhausted at each other, because that's what you do when you're in love but can't fuck. The big climax of the film is them having a fucking game of baseball and some 'renegade' vampires turn up because they can smell the miserable and exhausted looking girl and want to suck her. The good guys go on the run for 10 minutes, a couple of vampires shove each other in a room and then the good guys go to a big dance. Movie 2: Miserable and exhausted looking vampire guy leaves town so as not to endanger the miserable and exahusted looking girl any more. Girl mopes around until she gets friendly with the pig-nosed kid who turns out to be from a family of werewolves. Girl learns that the vampire guy is going to commit vampire suicide in Rome by exposing his sparkliness to the public during some big Catholic dance-off (or something) and the miserable and exhausted looking girl arrives just in time to push him back into a shadowy doorway. Four hours summed up as a game of baseball and a couple of shoves.
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It's touted as the EPIC finale, and in the showdown you can nearly count on your hands and toes the number of people battling. I've seen schoolyard fights on youtube that were more epic than that...
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Never fucking again.. I was cracking jokes on this bullshit story the whole movie. especially the spine breaking... She should have been dead right away!!!
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Sept. 7, 2012, 11:14 a.m. CST
Four hours summed up as a game of baseball and a couple of shoves.
by MCVamp
It's like Philles/Nationals all over again.
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Am I right?
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Sept. 7, 2012, 11:21 a.m. CST
i want to violently fuck this franchise right in its face
by nephilim138
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Sept. 7, 2012, 11:22 a.m. CST
Bella: the girl who never has to suffer for her actions.
by knowthyself
All of her actions have zero consequences.
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Not an ounce of passion, lust, or sexiness in her entire being. Probably lays there faking it.
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Finally an end to this nonsense! Not to nitpick but wouldn't the snow intensify the sunlight regardless of cloud cover. If so wouldn't the reflective nature of the "sparkly" vampire in turn become a disco ball of death?
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which is bullshit!!!! theyre not daywalkers!
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Confessions: never read any of the books, watched the first movie, THE END. BUT ... wasn't this whole thing based on this ubermensch-normal girl-abstinence morality tale? And, rather than focus in on intimate, personal, teachable moments THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE WITHIN THAT NARRATIVE, we end with ... a scaled-down version of a Braveheart-Troy-inserthackneyedperiodpiecewarstoryhere "final battle?" THIS is how this story ends, and THIS is what Meyer believes girls want to sit through? This seems like modular film making at its worst ... little bit from Greek mythology, little bit from hipster/tweener rom-com, little bit from friggin' X-Men: The Last Stand. That recipe makes shit soup, friends.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 12:09 p.m. CST
My 15 year old niece loved this vamp-lite stuff, until I made her watch 30 Days of Night
by MoneyGrabSequel
what a great day that was
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..well, forced myself to watch the first one is more like it. Just to see what all the hub-bub was about. And my GOD was it AWFUL! Like DTV awful!
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not every vampire wants to fuck you and be your bofriend. tosom of them your just cattle.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 12:47 p.m. CST
Hasn't their target audience moved on to the Hunger Games?
by Mugato5150
At least if they worship the Hunger Games they learn a skill like bow hunting rather than the skill of being in an abusive toxic relationship. How are the marketing weasels dealing with Kristin cheating on her contractually appointed boyfriend?
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I have not seen one Twilight movie, NOT ONE! purely because I can tell that I just would not enjoy them. Have any of you seen any of them and have you enjoyed them? Seriously?
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Sept. 7, 2012, 1:28 p.m. CST
Bella going Agent Smith on that mountain lion oddly makes me want to see this...
by Bill C.
I mean, hey, if I have to watch one Twifilm at any point in my life I might as well watch the one where the heroine's gone batshit with vampiric superpowers. Right? Right?
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Sept. 7, 2012, 1:39 p.m. CST
Harry Knowles: Twilight Movies = Good. Batman = Bad. Wherever you fall on TDKR debate, that still makes Harry look insane.
by Jacob Underhill
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Sept. 7, 2012, 1:41 p.m. CST
On to something else now. I just finished watching The Cabin in the Woods and whoever doesn't like this movie is a fuckin re-re...
by The_All_Dead
sorry but for the longest time i would see people mention it in various talkbacks and some people had not so kind words for it,those people are retards. Oh i went to see twilite with my brother in law and his retarded girlfried and evry line that someone muttered was met with laughter,it was awsome. Shewas so pissed off and she kept muttering "why is everyone laughing!!??" So i held her hand,looked her in the eye and calmly told her "Cuz its fuckin stupid honey boo boo,and your the only one who doesnt know it." God what a great night that was!!
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God bless that Rupert whatever for crackin himself off a piece of this hot, hot ass.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 1:56 p.m. CST
Harry had a massive orgasm when he saw this trailer. He creamed his pants so much, he has buy new pants.
by Mr. Pricklepants
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in an attempt at a summer romance (Shut up, I was 13). Haunts me to this day.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 2:03 p.m. CST
Also, not suprisingly, this looks hilariously awful. Just like the other ones.
by Mr. Pricklepants
I sure am glad this shit is almost over. Compared to all those fucking Twilight movies, The Hunger Games is Citizen Kane.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 2:06 p.m. CST
Also, Kristen Stewart has a beer and cheats on Robert Pattinson with the entire cast of Twilight.
by Mr. Pricklepants
Gang bang!
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Yeah just like Michael Bay laughs at the Transformers fans...and I would say the same about the chick who wrote the Hunger Games but she's probably so dumb that she thinks it's good. Well the sub 90 IQ set need entertainment too, so all of this is designed for them.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 2:26 p.m. CST
They will reboot this series when the opening weekend numbers for this one come in.
by godoffireinhell
All you silly people who think it'll all be over once the 5th film is finally out of theaters should prepare to the remake/reboot, which will turn the 4 books into 12 films over the course of six years. Ain't that cool?!?
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Sept. 7, 2012, 2:28 p.m. CST
prepare to GET FUCKED IN THE EYEBALLS BY the remake/reboot
by godoffireinhell
EDIT
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Sept. 7, 2012, 2:37 p.m. CST
bloody defective talkback ... spend ten dollars and upgrade the site to Windows 95
by Jacob Underhill
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Sept. 7, 2012, 2:50 p.m. CST
Cracked up at the standard shot of the car traveling...
by Mission Code Z
..because no matter how badass vampires and werewolves are, they still have to drive to the final showdown. Silly! *LOL*
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you know its coming.
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...because they're so GUT-BUSTINGLY hilarious.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 4:38 p.m. CST
And there goes creepythinman(insert action verb here). BAA-DUM-CHH!
by Darth_Kong
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Sept. 7, 2012, 5:01 p.m. CST
30 days of night is fantastic. But if you must include a little romance in your vampire movie
by angry kitty
Nothing tops Near Dark.
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God, I hate this stuff too. The whole premise is frighteningly stupid, fad-driven, teenage melodrama that everyone will roll their eyes at in three years, and then forever. Kind of like The Backstreet Boys. Or that band Night Ranger. Or Thomas Dolby. Or The Care Bears. "Twilight" is pretty much on par with any of these things. As evidenced by that trailer.
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Sept. 7, 2012, 8:26 p.m. CST
As bad as this is, it is stil more exciting than that heap of monkey doo, HUNGER GAMES.
by uberfreak
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in 15 years you're ashamed you did like it
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Sept. 7, 2012, 9:37 p.m. CST
These movies have gone down hill from the first, which I give 2.5 stars
by cock smoker
The wife brings me to all of them, only liked the first one. The Bella Lullaby song is on my Itunes, nice catchy Piano riff. I think the 1st one captures a high school angst/forbidden love type thing. But its pretty much been a half star decline with each movie, so I'm expecting a Pluto Nash type effort with the finale.
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Sept. 8, 2012, 12:39 a.m. CST
You know how The Hobbit started out as a 2 movie deal then turned into a 3 deal thing? I think there's room here for BREAKING DAWN Part 3. Follow me...
by Darth_Kong
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Sept. 8, 2012, 12:40 a.m. CST
In the THIRD installment Scooter and Bella get divorced and we see THE REAL HORROR of what happens in most, not all, relationships in the world today.
by Darth_Kong
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Sept. 8, 2012, 12:42 a.m. CST
She boinks the, I dunno, PIZZA GUY, and divorce ensues and this is where ED, can I call him ED? Gets his ASS HANDED TO HIM.
by Darth_Kong
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Sept. 8, 2012, 12:43 a.m. CST
What follows is PAPERS BEING SERVED, FALSE ACCUSATIONS LEADING TO ARREST, CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS, ALIMONY, CUSTODY BATTLES, I mean the real HORROR.
by Darth_Kong
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Sept. 8, 2012, 12:47 a.m. CST
A guy should be able to sit in the theatre with his girl and see how things really are and be able to say with a twinkle in his eye, YEAH, THAT LOOKS ABOUT RIGHT.
by Darth_Kong
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Sept. 8, 2012, 12:53 a.m. CST
Oh, forget BANGING THE PIZZA GUY, she does the werewolf. Hell, she does a PACK of WEREWOLVES.
by Darth_Kong
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Sept. 8, 2012, 4:41 a.m. CST
Although he's barely in these movies, Michael Sheen is the only good thing about them. Because he's the only one who's having fun with his part.
by Mr. Pricklepants
He knows these movies are fucking awful, so he does what any respectable actor would do in a situation like that: chew the fucking scenery.
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Sept. 8, 2012, 8:17 a.m. CST
Ive seen these so I can know what I'm talking a out. They are truly bad cinema.
by mistergreen
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Sure he's a fucking douche and probably should die horribly for what he did to his family... But Kstew is looking good and I'd swing for that too. These movies are fucking terrible. I'm getting a little annoyed though that people keep rolling the Hunger Games into this... The movie wasn't great but those books actually had something to them. I think a lot of the Hunger Games hate is coming from older guys mad at younger fads. I'm sure but hot younger women like Hunger Games. Deal with it. Twilight on the other hand is just terrible. No real defense to the books or movies.
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Sept. 8, 2012, 9 a.m. CST
I suppose once this film clears its likely $700M or thereabouts...
by Bill C.
...some Summit suit will pop up and go "Okay, Chloe Moretz as Renesmee! Get on it!"
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Sept. 9, 2012, 1:09 p.m. CST
Harry will confess his love for the series and admit he is really a woman
by millermeusa
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Sept. 9, 2012, 1:09 p.m. CST
Harry will confess his love for the series and admit he is really a woman
by millermeusa
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