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The Kidd Vs. PREMIUM RUSH

 

As soon as PREMIUM RUSH begins, you get to hear the familiar opening of The Who’s “Baba O’Riley.” Well, at least I got one thing good out of this dumb film from director David Koepp. For the rest of the film, I’m stuck watching people ride bikes through New York City in what amounts to an elongated chase scene over the course of 90 minutes. Now I wouldn’t mind this so much if there were some impressive stunt work or maybe a little bike parkour to feast my eyes on. Then I could tell you to go in carrying a loaded iPod and some killer tunes to at least make the visuals interesting, since the stupidity of PREMIUM RUSH’s story isn’t likely to hold your interest. But the flick doesn’t even have that going for it. All it brings to the table is the opportunity for you to say you saw Joseph Gordon-Levitt slumming it in the worst motion picture he’s been in to date.

PREMIUM RUSH puts JGL in the role of bike messenger Wilee (yes, like the coyote, which the dialogue will go out of its way to point out on more than occasion). He’s a smart guy, who apparently just hasn’t gotten around to taking the bar exam. Why not? Well, he can’t fathom a life where he has to go to work wearing a suit every day. He’d much rather have to hustle for jobs on his beat-up old bike, which he rides with no gears or no brakes – that’s supposed to be a metaphor for his lifestyle. Well, on one particular day, he takes a run that calls for a package delivery from his old alma mater down to Chinatown. Unfortunately for him, the contents of his envelope are worth a lot of money and are sought after by Bobby Munday (Michael Shannon), a NYC detective who desperately needs to get his hands on it at all costs to settle some growing financial problems he’s facing. That sets up Wilee versus Munday in a battle for the envelope, bike against car, maneuverability taking on sheer mass. That could have potentially worked if Shannon wasn’t called upon to play such a buffoon with a badge that you never quite question if Wilee is going to be able to make his delivery on time. Impulse control issues are no substitute for intelligence.

Shannon gets to chew up some scenery as the over-the-top bad guy, including one actually funny scene where he gets to rail about the state of primetime television and the language they can get away with these days, but PREMIUM RUSH does a disservice to itself by never truly establishing him as someone JGL shouldn’t be fucking with. In fact, there are several instances where Wilee is actually within arm’s length of Munday, easily grabbable with the envelope there for the taking, only Munday takes these chances to then get back into his car and resume the endless chase.

Let me not forget the rival bike messenger… yep, they went there… who is after Wilee’s ex-girlfriend of only a few days, Vanessa (Dania Ramirez), also a messenger herself. Manny (Wole Parks) wears plenty of spandex, rides a shiny new bike and talks in the third person. He thinks this means he’s automatically better than Wilee, and, as they sort of this barely there love triangle via Bluetooth, since they couldn’t just pull off to road to hash it out with everything that’s going on, he challenges and gets a race with Wilee through Central Park right in the middle of this other important chase that’s going on with the detective. Don’t worry… it gets worse.

David Koepp obviously believes he’s got a smart film on his hands due to the amount of technology he can show at his disposal in order to make bike riding through the city look cool. He uses tons of map zooms and street views as if he’s pulling them directly off his smartphone, which give PREMIUM RUSH no style whatsoever unless you find Google Maps to be artistic, and his use of slow-motion bike messenger vision (the biker can slow down time as they enter a troublesome area in order to see what would happen if they took that particular route) is unintentionally laughable as you can’t believe a film actually went there with such a cheesy device to convey the danger faced by messengers… especially the pursuing cop isn’t doing the trick.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Michael Shannon deserve better, so much better, than this hunk of junk. Shannon at least tries to do what he can to make the most of his fairly limited role, but there’s no saving this one from the trash heap. It’s a good thing I got “Baba O’Riley” again right before the end credits… that final reminder of such a classic song helped me walk out of the theatre easily forgetting the mindless fluff I just sat through.  

 

-Billy Donnelly

"The Infamous Billy The Kidd"

BillyTheKidd@aintitcool.com

Follow me on Twitter.

Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:01 p.m. CST

    FIRST

    by Nik

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:04 p.m. CST

    The Who make a ton of money licensing their songs...

    by Nik

    ...to shit films and television shows. These are the cold hard facts of life.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:04 p.m. CST

    I am not Russian to see this.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    In Russia, movie watches you!

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Die Hard On A Bike

    by Inexplicable_Nuclear_Balls

    At least it's not a remake. I guess.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:06 p.m. CST

    How was Kevin Bacon?

    by Somerichs

    Oops, wrong movie...

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Does the Kidd like any movies?

    by critts

  • Not shocked.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:12 p.m. CST

    @Critts

    by Futuramafan1987

    He liked The Dark Knight Rises, but I think that's about it. Could be wrong, though.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:13 p.m. CST

    That's Baba O'RILEY

    by Jeroen

    It's a common mistake though, at least you didn't call it 'Teenage Wasteland', Kidd. From the trailer this one looked to be slight but entertaining. Judging from your review, that is still on the cards. Might still catch it in the theatre if the gf wants a JGL fix.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Let me not forget...

    by BeMoreFunny

    What a clunker of a way to start a sentence. What's your first language, Kidd? Because it clearly isn't English...

  • That'd be the PS3-exclusive game called Infamous, which would make a cool movie except that it would probably be directed by Paul Anderson or Len Wiseman.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:33 p.m. CST

    No one whores their image out more than KISS

    by Darth Macchio

    Sadly. I blame Gene Simmons. He did discover Van Halen though. Gives him a little credit....until Sammy Hagar showed up anyway.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Uhh...that's BABA O RLY?

    by Darth Macchio

    sorry...couldn't help it...i'll go now.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:35 p.m. CST

    JLG's worst movie

    by BillEmic

    So this is actually worse than Hesher? Impressive.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Re: the Kidd liking any movies....

    by ReelLifeLA

    ....so let me get this straight...because the Kidd a) exercises a margin of personal taste and selection of which films he likes, b) isn't a sycophant who gushes with praise for every film that"s released (we've all seen that before) and c) doesn't crap on every film but actually looks for some common denominators in which films he enjoys (check his review record; he does like certain films), trolls on this site are just gonna bitch and moan that he doesn't like anything? For years, everyone bitched about reviews on this site endorsing and liking too many films (including ones we all knew were clunkers), and now that you have someone actually applying a modicum of taste (whether you agree with the Kidd or not), you don't like....so in other words, you're not pleased. Big f@#$ing shocker there.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:39 p.m. CST

    The Armond White of AICN strikes again.

    by imagin78

    Ebert loves the movie and it currently has a favorable 75% on Rotten Tomatoes. The Kidd has to hate it.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:41 p.m. CST

    goldentribe

    by BeMoreFunny

    Did I say it was grammatically incorrect? No. It technically is, but no one speaks that way. It's a goofy, awkward way to start a sentence, which he would have realized if he put more thought into the way he expressed himself. Lots of non-native English speakers use technically correct expressions that nonetheless are awkward and out of touch. And nice job immediately calling me an 'idiot' and 'retard.' Thanks for keeping the discourse at a high level.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:42 p.m. CST

    SERIOUSLY THE KIDD

    by Joe Momma

    STOP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT THE KIDD VERSUS SCHTICK. To be a fly on the wall during this idiots interview to be a writer on this site...you'd probably just hear the suckin sounds.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:42 p.m. CST

    I hope JGL uses his slow down time powers in the Nightwing movie.

    by kindofabigdeal

    I prefer the Arkham City version of Robin. Cloak and staff....nice.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:44 p.m. CST

    @vameon...

    by Mikey Wood

    That's TWO posts I've read from you today: The first being that the ROCKETEER was, I believe you said "Boring as fuck"? and then this "why isn't it just called 'Teenage wasteland'?" nonsense. Both of these lead me to believe that YOU, sir, may be the biggest moron on IACN...And that's saying a LOT.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:45 p.m. CST

    people who ride bikes are almost always douchebags

    by MISTER RUMBLES

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:49 p.m. CST

    76% on RT thus far

    by theBigE

    Wouldn't have guessed that

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:51 p.m. CST

    therevoltingblob....

    by ReelLifeLA

    ..absolutely man, completely agree with you (about this flick looking crap, not to mention already being done...see Quicksilver)....was just putting that to the side to advance the other subject (of folks showing up for Kidd's reviews just to shit on them).

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Assuming it is indeed crap

    by elsewhere

    why would JGL choose to do this film after being in Inception, The Dark Knight Rises and Looper? Or was this shot before those films and he was taking any work he could get? It boggles my mind.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:53 p.m. CST

    The Kidd

    by TheFlyingWasp

    I always look forward to your reviews, which are well done, but I always ask myself before reading them if you're going to hate the film or really hate the film, haha.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 4:54 p.m. CST

    I'm a big fan of Rocketeer, so idk where you read that post.

    by Randy

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 5:01 p.m. CST

    and FYI, Teenage Wasteland was a working title for the song.

    by Randy

    It just makes more sense as the title, and it's annoying when people try to correct you if you wanna call it Teenage Wasteland. Still, if you think I'm the dumbest person on AICN, you must have never heard of Harry Knowles.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 5:09 p.m. CST

    If you can't beat Quicksilver, don't even try

    by thelordofhell

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 5:13 p.m. CST

    Holy god, Kidd. I may not agree with you most of the time, but

    by Nichole

    Fuck me, that was a funny review. Not even sure if I can keep a straight face, watching it now. You tore that movie, a new one. Classic.

  • Ranking on Harry is something that all TB'ers can agree on. Except for the occasional one who kisses his ass.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 5:14 p.m. CST

    @inexplicable

    by GreatWhiteNoise

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 5:15 p.m. CST

    @inexplicable_nuclear_balls -- Close. Sounds more like 16 Blocks on a bike.

    by GreatWhiteNoise

    But Bruce all the same.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 5:17 p.m. CST

    Thanks, I take pride in my Harry bashing.

    by Randy

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 5:17 p.m. CST

    The Kidd is a real negative nancy

    by Clockwork Taxi

    No joy in life.

  • So it really IS 16 Blocks on a bike (although JGL goes to the Die Hard canon for direct reference).

  • If so, then I don't want to read it.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Fuck you, Kidd! This movie was good and you need to go!

    by JarJar25

    What the fuck kind of reviewer sets himself up to fight a film everytime? Your critquing a film you fuck, not setting yourself up for a fight! I am really getting sick of you and can't wait tell you leave. Of course, you have most of these people worshiping you ass that you will be here for awhile.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 5:47 p.m. CST

    Teenage Wasrelan

    by Jeroen

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 5:51 p.m. CST

    'Teenage Wasteland' is a different song

    by Jeroen

    Different, even if it's related to Baba Besides that, as a title it is too much on the nose for such an iconic song

  • When your starting point is "VS this movie" you're sitting down and saying "Impress me, motherfucker." Whereas actual reviewers sit down and say "lets watch a movie." That's the problem with Kidd's schtick.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:07 p.m. CST

    I like the Kidd's reviews

    by Jacob Underhill

    When he likes something, he expounds on its merits; when he doesn't, he discusses what went wrong. Compare that to Harry's salivating positive reviews of "shiny shiny loud loud" movies and his negative reviews if a movie dares throw in some ambiguity, character development or shows some effort in plotting. The Kidd also seems to have a modicum of respect for the english language, which translates to respect for his audience...a point I bring up only, again, as a counterpoint to Harry's reviews.

  • Somehow, they always come back to Bruce.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Oh, and I'm very disappointed they went with The Who instead of Queen

    by Inexplicable_Nuclear_Balls

    They didn't use Bicycle Race? The Fuck???

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:22 p.m. CST

    There Is No Schtick...

    by The Infamous Billy The Kidd

    I've said it before and I'll say it again... The Kidd Vs. is merely set up as a one-on-one, no-holds-barred, honest approach to seeing and reviewing a movie solely from my perspective. It is not meant to be confrontational in any way. It is not meant for me to be daring a film to impress me. It is not meant for me to already go into a film with a negative mindset. It is quite simply a title that now sets me apart from everyone else. If you judge that it means I automatically hate something, then that's your prerogative. It also means that you aren't actually reading the full review and are jumping to conclusions based on nothing more than a title. Either way, you can keep complaining about it until whenever, but it's not going to change anytime soon.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:37 p.m. CST

    I know people say you slam everything Kidd...

    by D.Vader

    And often, I think they're just exaggerating, but here you really go out of your way to slam this particular movie. You describe the style of this movie only to conclude the movie has no style. You describe cool things only to say how not cool you think they are. You describe the character only to imply he isn't well-drawn. In other words, instead of criticizing this movie on its merits, whether or not its a good film based on criteria most other critics use, you instead slam the movie bc of what its not; in other words, its not what YOU wanted. I'm starting to come around to agreeing with everyone else here. You do a *really* bad job of explaining your position in most of these reviews, and you'd be better served if you just said "I didn't like it" (in other words, its not what you wanted) rather than trying to shove your feelings into a critique that suggests the movie is bad. Because nothing about this sounds like a "bad" movie; just a movie you particularly didn't like. You need to step it out.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:37 p.m. CST

    The Kidd reminds me of..

    by Tanning Chatum

    pretty much any early 20's hipster. You know those Williamsburg types, the same facial hair and glasses. Only stuff which is critically acclaimed or considered high art is good. Anything hollywood produces is bad. Blah blah etc etc. Not sure why I think that. It could be the constant dislike of hollywood films, the facial hair and glasses, or maybe because he's an austinite (many who have the same characteristics). Anyone else get a similar vibe?

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:38 p.m. CST

    Just watch this instead

    by Steve Lamarre

    someone making the most out of a fixed gear. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiE1Qm7HSd8

  • I really hadn't any plans to see the film, so your review didn't really affect me either way, but it is pretty negative throughout. It's also seemingly at odds with RT's current 72% score, though that certainly has no bearing on how you felt, but few of the other reviews on even RT are as vehement as yours. Ah well. Still appreciate the amount of work you turn out, even if you're the Statler and Waldorf of AICN lately :)

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:40 p.m. CST

    No mention of Quicksilver?

    by MoistMuskyCamelToe

    How could you possibly review this movie and not bring up Quicksilver (which sucks, too)?

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:41 p.m. CST

    reelifella, you misunderstand

    by D.Vader

    I'm finally starting to see what everyone else has complained about. Its not that the Kidd doesn't like any movie or isn't a sycophant, its the fact that he *never* really describes why a movie is good or bad. Like Harry, he merely only *reacts* to the movie, and then transposes that dislike into "criticism". Which doesn't really work out that well. Especially when he doesn't really do a great job explaining that position. It just amounts to "So then JGL does this... which I guess you're supposed to think is cool, but really isn't. And then this happens, which I guess you're supposed to think is artistic, but really isn't".

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:42 p.m. CST

    Keep it up...

    by Jeroen

    Doing your own thing, Kidd. I, and doubtlessly many others, appreciate your direct approach. That doesn't mean I always agree, but your reviews allow readers to formulate why and how they agree or disagree, and that's a characteristic among reviewers, who often act like they are the ultimate judge and don't actually make a case. Also, good to see you corrected the song title. It is just too much of a classic to get wrong its title, even if it does make you work for it!

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:43 p.m. CST

    Er, you need to step it UP, I meant to say

    by D.Vader

    Damn distractions.

  • His reviews are much less informative than they used to be and really turn out, more often than not, to simply be a running narrative of the film with few if any of the funny observations he used to make. He also gave Premium Rush 3 1/2 stars, which is of course his right, but it seems that unless the film is pro-religion or isn't anti-Republican enough, he's pretty sure to give even dumb movies a pass. I used to love reading his stuff, since it contained frequent insights. Now, he seems more interested in spouting off about his political views than giving detailed reviews of the films he watches. Bummer.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 6:54 p.m. CST

    72% on RT

    by boyalien

    Seriously Kidd, what did you go into the theatre expecting with this one? Because it looks dumb and fun as fuck. You can't call out the dumb movie for being dumb, man, it's SUPPOSED to be dumb. Get it?

  • The O'Riley comes from Terry Riley, an American composer greatly influenced by traditional Indian music

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Hey Kidd, is there abysmal CG in the movie?

    by jimmy_009

    I noticed a shot in the trailer that looked like some seriously terrible CG. JGL is about to hit a car then swerves at the last second or something. It was laughably bad and not at all what I'd expect in a movie like this. Did you see any of this in the actual film?

  • People call you a hater, because 99% of your reviews are negative and 100% of your reviews have no passion in them whatsoever. You don't get angry about a movie cause you wanted to love it, like Harry does with Nolan films. You don't gush about a movie, even if it's shit to everyone else, because you still had a great time and everyone else can fuck themselves. I don't think you are a hater. I think you don't love movies. You are neutral about them. Indifferent. A few have blown your skirt up over the years, but the rest of them just don't really do much for you. Why you write movies reviews is beyond me. Maybe I am wrong about you and you do love movies. If so, maybe you should try showing it once in a while. Show some passion. Otherwise, you are just an outsider belittling what we all love here.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 7:22 p.m. CST

    Your Reviews suck Kidd! and you probably suck too.

    by Jason Adkins

    Jesus H. Do ever like anything?

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 7:26 p.m. CST

    @antonstark

    by The Infamous Billy The Kidd

    That's right... I commit hours upon hours to watching and then writing about movies, because I don't love them. Clearly that makes sense. Thanks for the assumptions.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 7:27 p.m. CST

    Now If You'll Excuse Me...

    by The Infamous Billy The Kidd

    I have to get back to staying up through the middle of the night to get these next 3 reviews written, because I must not like movies.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 7:30 p.m. CST

    this review gives me hope

    by drave117

    I might actually like this movie!

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 7:34 p.m. CST

    Does he like any movies?

    by Fritzlorrerains

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 7:39 p.m. CST

    Hmmm...

    by The Infamous Billy The Kidd

    Guess people missed all of those films from Fantasia I really dug...

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 7:52 p.m. CST

    BTW, Kidd

    by TheFlyingWasp

    In all seriousness, there is no doubt that you love movies and you do give positive reviews, most recently to Beasts of Southern Wild. If you were partial in all of your reviews, you wouldn't be a good critic.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 8:08 p.m. CST

    Worst Movie of his career? JGL was in GI JOE: RISE OF COBRA

    by billydeewilliams

    It can't be worse than that!

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 8:17 p.m. CST

    This movie sucked worse than The Dark Knight Rises....

    by The_All_Dead

    BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA!!!! lol lol.....seriously tho',TDKR sucked.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 8:30 p.m. CST

    The movie's fine, if a little light weight

    by gaygoonie

    This reviewer is cranky.

  • you 'commit' hours upon hours to watch movies and write reviews about them. the reviews are almost always about how much you didn't like the movies. we all look forward to going to the movies, because we love movies. we don't have to make commitments to watch movies. we have to take shit from family and friends for being addicted to movies and spending too much time and money on them. people aren't giving you shit saying that they think you don't like any movies. they are just realizing that based on the reviews you write, you don't seem to like almost any movies. maybe it's not fair to criticize you for this. it's your job now. you don't get to pick all the movies you see based on looking forward to them. you have to go watch them to review them. that takes a lot of joy out of a movie. especially when you have to watch to critique instead of just letting yourself get sucked into the movie and forget about work. just, maybe consider the fact that the people who read your reviews, they are looking forward to seeing movies and they are hoping that the movies will be fun. they like honest reviews, but they do watch reviews from people who are like them. people who are actually looking forward to the movies. people who are going to feel something other than snarky annoyance about a movie. which is what you seem to feel about most of the movies you review. but whatever. you wouldn't be a reviewer for AICN if you weren't getting shit from talkback.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 8:58 p.m. CST

    @antonstark

    by The Infamous Billy The Kidd

    I'm write there with you, dude. I'm not just a critic. I'm a fan, too. I look forward to going to the movies, regardless of what it is, because I still love seeing that magic brings new worlds, new characters, etc. to life. And every time I step into a theatre and sit down to watch whatever, I hope it's good. But what can I say? I haven't had my socks rocked off with any degree of regularity as of late. That's not my fault. That's the fault of people who are making these films that are of a subpar quality. It's quite possible that I've become spoiled over the years, having grown up watching so many great films. But that doesn't mean I should lower my standards in order to make the release calendar more palatable. I like what I like, and I don't like what I don't like, and there are plenty of times things are just okay. That doesn't mean I don't like movies. In fact, I love movies so much that it disappoints me to see such mediocrity thrown our way week in and week out. I'd love to tell you about movies that I enjoyed, movies I loved, movies I dug the shit out of, movies that were fun as hell. They are out there, and I have when the opportunity has presented itself. But I'm not going to fake it, in order to try to gain some sort of acceptance. All I offer up is an opinion. You can agree with it, or you can disagree with it... but that doesn't mean it's wrong. All it means is that's what I thought. All I'm supposed to do is express my thoughts on a film, and you can do whatever you want with them. If I steer you away from a movie I thought was shit that you were considered wasting your money on, awesome. If I've turned you onto a movie I've loved that you otherwise might not have seen, even better. Likewise, if my like of a movie means you don't want to see it, because our tastes are different, that's cool, too. If my dislike of a film makes you want to see it more, whatever. After all, it takes different strokes to rule the world.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 9:11 p.m. CST

    I like The Kidd's reviews

    by jah_kingdom

    I think he's pretty spot on. It's just that really, when ya get on down to it - there aren't a lot of good movies coming out these last couple of years. It's slim pickins.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 9:20 p.m. CST

    the 'kid vs...' and his 'negative reviews' aren't annoying-

    by zom-bot.com

    it's become the people that always bring up the 'kidd vs' gripe and think he hates all movies. yeah. that's right. you all have become more annoying than the things you claim are annoying. that's really fucking annoying.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 9:53 p.m. CST

    Is Shannon still on Boardwalk Empire?

    by Smerdyakov

    They seemed to be leaving an opening for him in Chicago.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 10:33 p.m. CST

    feist my eyes on

    by DoctorZoidberg

    *feast

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 11:06 p.m. CST

    JGL's worst movie?

    by Darkman

    Worse than the one he did as a kid where he was an Amish boy who had to marry Patricia Arquette? <br><br> Methinks thou doth protest too much.

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 11:50 p.m. CST

    I don't know about this movie...

    by Bill C.

    ...admitted, I already wasn't crazy about it due to its trailer, but with the nod to Wile E. Coyote and the villain of the piece's apparent recurring near-misses--which makes the whole thing one big Road Runner short--I can't help but think "Okay, who thought that was clever?" Maybe it works better than it sounds onscreen...?

  • Aug. 23, 2012, 11:51 p.m. CST

    Stop Defending Yourself Kidd...

    by Kurt Root

    ...it makes you look like a bitter, basement-dwelling, Cheeto-stained cunt.

  • That statement seems kind of objective. I.e. you think the movies are bad because....they are actually bad. It's not that you didn't like it, it's that they are actually deeply flawed films. That be smug hipster talk. Write?

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 12:32 a.m. CST

    dammit!!

    by The_All_Dead

    like i was saying. then it makes sense that a reviewer would ultimately have more dislikes in his reviews than likes.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 1:01 a.m. CST

    in support of The Kidd...

    by biberkopf5

    I've been reading AICN for ten years, I seldom comment in talkbacks, but wanted to say for the record that The Kidd has totally earned my respect with his intelligent, fair reviews. I read this and saw that it was by The Kidd, and I felt assured that I could skip it in theaters. I don't feel this way about Harry, who I love to death, but don't trust a word of his critisicms. They are all personal, and fetishistic. The Kidd is the real deal. I'd even go so far as to call him Quint-esque in his O.G.ness. Do other long time readers feel this way? Keep up the good work, Kidd.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 1:18 a.m. CST

    LiveStrong is so DOPE!

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Get it? It's a biking movie. Armstrong was a cheater.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 3:20 a.m. CST

    Why does the whole "Kidd Vs" shtick get to everybody here?

    by SuperSaiyan2112

    I like it. *shrugs* And I like his reviews. Nothing will please you fuckers, I swear. P.S. Keep up the good work, Kidd. Fuck the haters.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 3:20 a.m. CST

    billythekidd - I was COMPLETELY wrong about you

    by AntonStark

    I just googled your reviews for movies this summer starting with Avengers and I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me that I came to my conclusion of you. Holy fuck, I was completely wrong about you. I was wrong, kidd. You don't deserve any shit. You are doing a kick ass job on your reviews. I must have confused you with someone else or something or maybe my love of a movie you didn't care for blinded me or something, cause you are as good as Moriarty. I don't know how I fucked up this much. Thanks for defending yourself. You didn't even have to. But I'm glad you did, because I figured out that I need my head fucking examined or something. Keep on kicking ass, brother.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 4:21 a.m. CST

    the worst motion picture he’s been in to date

    by applescruff

    You must not be very familiar with JGL's career trajectory. As a child actor, he appeared in a whole lot of garbage, most of which were TV movies that never made it to theaters. Here's a few that did make it: HOLY MATRIMONY THE ROAD KILLERS ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD HALLOWEEN H20: 20 YEARS LATER He then grew up and got pretty damn respectable, I must say. But he still found the time to appear in a few eye-gouge worthy shit fests, such as: GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA HAVOC SHADOWBOXER UNCERTAINTY ELEKTRA LUXX I just came out of a screening of PREMIUM RUSH. Sure, it's nothing to write home about, but clearly the actors and the director weren't taking any of it very seriously and it was nice to see Shannon cut loose for a bit. Not even close to the scum sucking depths of shit like GI JOE. I predict that this review was an over-reaction and if you look back on this movie in about a year you won't feel as down on it.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 4:22 a.m. CST

    spot on review, Kid.

    by Umney

    These are the types of movies i've to see when I switch up the 'I pick the film,you pick the snacks' role. And I get why people sandbag you.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 4:25 a.m. CST

    For the record......

    by applescruff

    I'm not saying this is one of his better movies. He's easily been in 15 movies better than this one. I'm just saying he's also been in maybe 10-15 movies worse than this.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 6:11 a.m. CST

    yeah, JGL's career has been more miss than hit

    by Spandau Belly

    He's a good actor, but he does a lot of bad movies. I'm surprised nobody mentioned KILLSHOT yet.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 6:17 a.m. CST

    and do these bike messengers look all clean cut now?

    by Spandau Belly

    They used to all have dredlocks and a million piercings and tattoos. I haven't really seen them around as much lately since PDF got invented. Are they all clean cut little boyscouts like JGL these days?

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 6:17 a.m. CST

    You guys really think these are good reviews?

    by D.Vader

    He doesn't really do much to defend his position. He doesn't really do much to explain why these are "bad" movies. He just basically says he doesn't like the movie and gives one or two examples. The whole basis for his review of Paranorman was that he thought there were too many speeches- that's it. That's his big example to back up his position. If you guys think that makes a review good or even great, that's fine with me. But personally, I like a little bit more explanation, a little bit more in-depth analysis of what makes the film good or bad, the kind of stuff I get from Capone and Quint.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 6:18 a.m. CST

    and shouldn't Michael Shannon be Wylee and JGL the Roadrunner?

    by Spandau Belly

    Or maybe David Koepp's interpretation of Looney Toons is like Tarantino's interpretation of Superman.

  • Um, there's TONS of impressive stuntwork and bike parkour. Yeah the rest of the film is still rubbish, but it is certainly not lacking in the action department. I find that a really bizarre criticism as it's the one thing the film did really well.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 8:06 a.m. CST

    I liked it :)

    by Stephanie Ann Diaz

    It was entertaining...yes, with its clichè love triangle, use of comedy, simple plot line and stunts...granted it wasnt meant to be an oscar worthy performance but overall it did entertain for 90 mins...When you do a series as in Boardwalk Empire and you're coming off a film as in TDKR...one does need something fun and simple just to give yourself a break...i still like it!!! :)

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 8:45 a.m. CST

    You're great Kidd, but......

    by BigMick

    Kidd, I for one want to put my name on the list for people who love your reviews. I'm not sure if we have the same taste in movies, but I think we definitely have the same expectations when it comes to movies. That being said, you need to work on your grammar. If you're going to take the spotlight, even for a moment, to comment on someone else's work and critique it in a way that states it was not up to an acceptable standard, then your writing needs to be above standard. Reading your reviews is like reading through my 12 year old nephew's homework. I'm sorry, but that's the English professor in me reviewing your reviews. Improve yourself or not, I'll still be looking forward to the next review!

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Don't even respond to these trolls Kidd

    by jimmy_009

    I find your reviews usually hit the nail on the head.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 9:58 a.m. CST

    @billythekidd

    by Chris Edwards

    All I'm supposed to do is express my thoughts on a film..

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 10:27 a.m. CST

    Can someone just tell me one thing about this flick?

    by ultragoregrind

    I fully expect it to have a Cannon Ball Run style ending which is of course meant to keep the door open for a sequel... (ie- "Great job on making that delivery against all odds... now how about a REAL challange?" JGL grins, smash cut to credits) Can anyone confirm or deny this for me? heh

  • Considering I only know FILM CRIT HULK because this site linked to him before, it's sad that you don't know it. It's a lame conceit for naming your articles AND someone else has been doing it longer.

  • He constantly comes off as a snarky douche who goes into films with a huge chip on his shoulder. He could give all the negative reviews he wants and I wouldn't care - just as long as he doesn't always go into every film dwelling on the negative aspects of it and looking to make as many snarky remarks as possible. He can't even post a movie trailer without a stupid and negative remark. He may say "I love films, I review them!" but that's BS. Like many film bloggers, he seems to like the sound of his voice berating something a lot more than the actual medium.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 2:10 p.m. CST

    The more reviews I read from The Kidd...

    by Racer Z

    the more pretentious I find him and his reviews. There's just something completely disingenuous about his "opinions." It seems less a matter of his skirting the edge, presenting his objectivity from a different POV, than it does a desperate attempt at stirring the pot of nonconformity. I find it all exhaustively phony.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 2:57 p.m. CST

    The Kidd Vs Marvel Vs Capcom

    by Stalkeye

    let's see that 300 hit Banhammer hyper combo finish.

  • Aug. 24, 2012, 3:17 p.m. CST

    looks like Transporter on a bike....but looks awesome!

    by Aaron Schweitzer

  • Aug. 25, 2012, 1:22 a.m. CST

    He also "loved" Cabin in the Woods

    by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE

    So that's 2 movies he liked this year. I think this has been one of the worst years ever for movies. Last year was pretty bad too. There's a few movies coming out later on that might redeem 2012 somewhat, hopefully.

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