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Review

FLINTSTONES: VIVA ROCK VEGAS review

I really don’t expect anyone anywhere to believe me when I tell them about FLINTSTONES: VIVA ROCK VEGAS.

The first FLINTSTONES had one or two bright spots with the effects, and then died for the rest of the film. John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell and Elizabeth Perkins.... well, they never ceased being... John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell and Elizabeth Perkins. Then the film’s overall plot of being an embezzlement scheme.... That’d be like making a Star Wars movie about a trade dispute.

What’s up with that?

But the main issue was... Rosie O’Donnell, no matter how well she did Betty’s voice was not and will never be a sex goddess. That’d be like casting me as Alfred E Newman just because I have reddish hair.... WRONG! It’d be like casting Nick Cage as SUPERMAN....

The cast that they choose to play the FLINTSTONE characters... have to disappear and simply become those characters. John Goodman just isn’t Fred... Rick Moranis isn’t Barney...

So... years pass by, the first film made enough money that Universal realized there was potential in the franchise, but they also seem to have realized the first film was pretty damn bad.

So... What do they do? Do they fire Brian Levant, the man behind THE FLINTSTONES first live action film? NO.... and that’s where the dread came from this evening upon entering the theater.

You see... I have heard rumblings... rumors that THE FLINTSTONES: VIVA ROCK VEGAS was a really really good movie.... but noone would write the review. I understand that. Whoever writes the first review for this film is going to be slapped around like a wife of Mike Tyson’s. Well.... call me bitch and start slugging, cause I’m set to be your punching bag...

I didn’t have tickets to this film. I received a phone call yesterday from the Line Goddess, Jan... saying that the screening was taking place at the Metropolitan theater at 7pm.

Somehow I managed to get Dad in the car to go... the first film amounted into an argument between him and me that nearly destroyed our friendship. He thought THE FLINTSTONES was a mountain of dinoshit... I thought it was a beautiful film with a few patches of dinoshit scattered through it. Degrees of mediocrity I suppose.

Well, my grandfather, his father, told us boys that “to get kicked once by a mule... it’s the mule’s fault... get kicked twice and you’re the ass.” Ol Father Geek quoted this at me a couple of times on the drive... damn rush hour traffic.

Upon arriving at the theater... there is a vast line of children with parents. The beautiful Gissela, Queen of the Theater Jungles, to greet me. Glen Oliver and his boy David in tow. And quickly we were all seated.

I said to Glen, “Looking forward to the film?”

Glen snarled up his face and said... “Brian Levant!”

I retorted with, “THE GREAT GAZOO!”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

“Brian Levant”

“GREAT GAZOO”

And then we had our seats. I began reflecting upon the career of Brian Levant. PROBLEM CHILD 2, BEETHOVEN, FLINTSTONES... OHMYGOD.... Brian Levant.... Oh dear God.... Brian Levant. Oh hell... Oh man.... He sucks....

But dammit... I have heard rumors that this film does not suck. It has Mark Addy, who was brilliant in THE FULL MONTY... and was the only truly wonderful thing in JACK FROST. Then there was Stephen Baldwin... He’d been good once in his career, 19 films previously in THE USUAL SUSPECTS... maybe... he doesn’t look a thing like Barney Rubble though... alright, he’ll blow.

The girl from THIRD ROCK FROM THE SUN... well, I like her. Maybe she can be Wilma. The gal playing Betty though... She’s way friggin hotter than the last sausage to stretch that blue hide. Well... they’re better cast anyways.

I don’t know... we’ll see.

That’s where I was when the film started. I wasn’t too up for the film. I was just hoping to see a few cool or funny dinosaur gags. Awaiting non-stop farting and poo poo humor and figuring... well... it’s probably just 100 minutes.

100 minutes... man, that could’ve been long as hell.

Like the last time.

WRONGO!

Now, I know... with the information you have from that trailer... the visual look of Barney played by Stephen Baldwin... and the rest being mainly unknown to your eyes.... This movie probably looks... No, I take that back, it definitely looks like crap. The sort of crap they shovel down our kids’ throats and call entertainment.

Well... This film is not that film. Brian Levant, from the looks of this film.... was being pushed around completely during the first film. I’m willing to bet his casting was chosen for him. That he had very little to do with pre-production... That Spielberg and Universal were making decisions and then he was stuck with the ramifications.

On this film... He seemed to be left alone. I mean seriously... why would you make a FLINTSTONES movie starring Mark Addy and Stephen Baldwin? I mean, the biggest names in this film are Joan Collins and Harvey Korman. Whatever... this film is easy absolutely the first film in what could be a really cool franchise if they keep these people together.

Mark Addy IS Fred Flintstone. At all times, his voice and face do that Ralph Kramden/Fred gargle commanding tone thing. When he’s whispering... he sounds like Fred. When he’s exclaiming... he’s Fred. He is FRED FLINTSTONE. He wears the clothes better. He has thought clouds, when he’s feeling little... he’ll physically shrink.... when he’s in love hearts will sprout all over the screen. When he becomes greedy, his eyes will grow big and do the slot machine thing landing on dollar signs. He does the twinkle toes thing. He... well... He’s Fred Flintstone... a fairly regular all-stone age working class cave man. He has big dreams... big ideas... but can never really get the job done.

Stephen Baldwin.... Barney Rubble... I don’t know what sort of ‘act of God’ occurred, but Stephen Baldwin became Barney Rubble up there. Those Blue eyes of his... well... Ya know how Barney’s eyes were just black... no whites. Ya know how he’d stare at Fred, and Fred would just slug his shoulder and say, “Coooome on Barney Snap out of it”? Well, those Blue Eyes of Stephen’s somehow communicated that same dim glimmer of dullness... That vacuous stoned look, that I had somehow always imbued Barney Rubble with. And then there’s the voice. My god. It’s Barney Rubble. The ‘heh heh heh’ laugh while shaking the shoulders... That golly style to his nature... His appetite... his unending hunger... it’s here.

Then there’s Kristen Johnston as Wilma. Well, on the show, Wilma was always nagging Fred to stop with those crazy ideas... she was always being strong and independent, but a housewife. Here... it’s pre-that-Wilma. Here we see where Wilma came from... What her mom (Joan Collins) was like (BITCH) and her father (Harvey Korman) was like (insane) as well. Wilma does a very good job of being smart, lost, confused and missing that Fred element in her life. She wants a normal existence... a family... a regular guy that loves... her.

Now... Jane Krakowski as Betty Rubble.... well, ya see... When I watched the FLINTSTONES series... I always thought... man... Wilma is your wife... Betty is your fuck goddess. She’s hot... she’s your Lolita babe with the heart sunglasses. Barney might be a little dim... but he goes home at night to lay down with Betty! Holy Moly. What a woman! When I first see Betty on her roller-skates at the car hop... the ol Rollergirl fetish thing started flashing... You notice the black hair and the hourglass figure... That giggle of hers... Oh deeeeeeelicious.

SHE’S HOT! That’s the way it should be!

Now, I know... what about the movie? What is it about?

Well... ya see... heh heh heh.... Alan Cumming plays THE GREAT GAZOO... and the film begins with GAZOO being sent to Earth.... a bit like Clarence in IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE.... but to study the ‘Mating Habits’ of primitive man. That’s right... the film is about Fred and Barney and their pursuit of getting laid.

“That’s great Fred, Betty wants to take me back to our place and cook me Breakfast in the morning...” He looks down... up... real blank... then, “...I don’t know what we’ll do till then though.”

Oh my god... laugh out loud hard. When you hear the delivery from Baldwin... that look in his eye... my god, this might be the best character work of his career. He’s fucking amazing as Barney. His eyes never ever denote that he knows what he’s doing. He’s all instinct and smile.

Alan Cumming as the Great Gazoo is soooo cool looking and his character is just exactly what the character of Mr Mxylpltk (I know I misspelled that and that too) should be. He is the most perfect cartoon to reality transformation ever created. I want a life size GREAT GAZOO modeled after this version of the character... I’d have him floating over there in the corner of my room.

The most amazing thing about this film... is it really isn’t for kids. It’s aimed at adults... the biggest laughs over my shoulders were coming from adults... I won’t ruin any more bits... That’d be criminal... but the fact that the Great Gazoo... as played by Alan Cumming... is sent to Earth to study heterosexual mating habits of two men that roommate together... well, there’s whole layers of other jokes that I was appreciating like crazy in this thing.

Joan Collins is easily 5 times the she-bitch that Elizabeth Taylor wanted to be. Harvey Korman’s character is hysterical, and proves that he’s not dead.

So what happened on the making of FLINTSTONES 2?

Well, I can only guess that Brian Levant and his team of writers were allowed to just shoot from the hip... I mean, they were expected to make a movie that would gross at most 2/3rds of the original film. So they dared to actually make not only a better film, but a movie that completely eclipses that turd and shows EXACTLY how you make a movie adaptation from a comic/cartoon.

1st.... you cast actors (not stars) that can become the iconic characters you want them to be.

2nd... You look at the series, realize that was a 30 minute episode... and take the characters on an adventure that would be a feature length story.

3rd... You pay attention to the intended audience. Pebbles and BamBam were for kids... Barney and Fred and Wilma and Betty were for adults. It was FAMILY entertainment, meaning that you entertain adults.... AND the kids. And you don’t treat either as Neanderthals, even if that’s the subject of your film.

4th... You actually DO the things the characters did originally. If Fred’s eyes leave his head.... then... ya got to do that.... If he floats across the room.... ya gotta do that.... If Barney has a voracious appetite.... he eats... if Betty is a fuck goddess... Betty must remain a fuck goddess.

In this FLINTSTONES movie, they treat Rosie O’Donnell correctly... she’s the voice of the Octopus. Perfect casting.

This movie does everything right, it moves fast and very fast, it’s entertaining, funny and even a bit touching. This was a complete and utter surprise tonight, and like STAR TREK II after the MOTIONLESS PICTURE.... on the second film... They Nail It!

Readers Talkback
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  • April 24, 2000, 11:53 p.m. CST

    Wanted: One Bedroom APT in Bedrock.

    by Flmlvr

    Good. I'm glad u liked it Harry. Now, I don't feel as stupid for ging to see it opening day.

  • April 24, 2000, 11:58 p.m. CST

    NO....i dont believe it

    by Dmann

    No im not suggesting that anyone is a corporate schill....but Christ almighty, WHY would you even try and get me to see this monkey crap, rooty poo, candy ass movie. Jesus...thats retarded, Flintstones 3??? come on now!

  • April 25, 2000, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Well I'll be damned....

    by angry

    Not only does it appear that I'm first, but, I was really expecting this movie to completely blow turds. I'm actually kinda tempted to go see it... Date movie?

  • April 25, 2000, 12:10 a.m. CST

    I can't believe it.

    by AaronHayden

    'Nuff said.

  • April 25, 2000, 12:10 a.m. CST

    HOLY, SCAMOLEY, HARRY! THAT'S GOTTA BE THE LONGEST REVIEW EVER!

    by Uncapie

    I'll go see it because of character actor Irwin Keyes. He was in the first one and he's the caveman that gets nailed in the dunk tank. Given the right character, that guy's pretty funny! Oh, and Jack Noseworthy should be cast as "Alfred E. Neuman."

  • April 25, 2000, 12:11 a.m. CST

    Ha ha ha ha ha!

    by The Riot

    I'm sorry.. Just got to laugh when I see Dmann insulting "corporate schills" and then revealing himself as a mindless slave of the WWF corporation as he rattles off some of The Rock's signature phrases. Can't think of a better adjective to use than "rooty poo"?

  • April 25, 2000, 12:21 a.m. CST

    conceeded

    by Lazarus Long

    this film may not be as bad as it looks, but don't forget: when you go into a film with expectations that it will blow goats, it doesn't have to do too much to succeed. Even if it isn't half bad, there are at least 10 other films in wide release that are more worth seeing. Don't line the pockets of the studio scumbags and hacks like Brian Levant. Maybe the first film being a piece of dino doo-doo isn't his fault, but he's still the director of a sequel to a film adaption of a cartoon that never should have been brought to the movie theatre. Loser. No respect.

  • April 25, 2000, 12:23 a.m. CST

    Did I just read this review correctly?

    by Cold Fusion

    Harry must have balls of bedrock. I thought this movie reeked of commercial hack crap. Could it be that it actually has some redeeming qualities? I don't know...there was that Armageddon incident...but I think Harry generally honest and fair most of the time.

  • April 25, 2000, 12:25 a.m. CST

    Betty Rubble ...

    by TheWanderer

    played by Jane Krakowski (Elaine on Ally McBeal). Check. Kristen Johnson (nearly 6ft tall) wearing Wilma's short skirt and red hair. Check. Check. There is nothing more I need know. YABBA-DABBA-DOO!

  • April 25, 2000, 12:26 a.m. CST

    I don't know

    by Jotham

    I'm am going to be very suprised if I like this movie. There is no way I'm going to pay $7.50 see it!!

  • April 25, 2000, 12:32 a.m. CST

    Best Harry Review in a long time

    by DoctorDoom

    For me, the past couple reviews harry has done have been... blah. He just hasn't been doing the setup like he used to, and it's seemed as if he has had other things he would rather be doing than writing the review ('oh yeah, the site has reviews... lessee... gotta get one done...'). But this is the old school review style. Spewing his opinion and all other thoughts related to the movie into a review. Pouring the whole mess inside his head onto a plate for us to read.

  • April 25, 2000, 12:37 a.m. CST

    Jetsons?

    by Tajaron

    Great reviews Harry. Hey here's a question - why haven't they made a Jetsons movie? If that's popular they could do a live-action Flistones meets Jetsons movie.

  • April 25, 2000, 12:38 a.m. CST

    Daniel 'The Fat Baldwin' Baldwin should have played Fred Flintst

    by darthpsychotic

    The Bedrock set reak's of a "theme park"... in Europe.

  • April 25, 2000, 12:40 a.m. CST

    Good one Harry.

    by Prankster

    I'm glad Harry has the cojones to print a good review of a movie everyone "knows" is gonna be crap...don't let the preconceptions stand in your way! Harry's always had the courage to defend easy targets like this one. Now, he doesn't seem to have the courage to bash movies that aren't so good, but hey, I can read every other critic in the world for that. I'm not going to see The Flinstones 2 but I AM going to use it as a barometer for critics...see who has the guts to give it a good review (assuming it is good, which I've heard from others as well) and who's going to give in to snobbiness and preconceptions.

  • April 25, 2000, 12:47 a.m. CST

    kinda late for an April fool's joke, ain't it?

    by rjtapper

    no way could Viva Los Alamos, or whatever, be good at all. I'm sorry, but it just isn't possible. I'd sooner believe Pokemon is American cinema's zenith. And why is Wilma played by a man?

  • April 25, 2000, 12:50 a.m. CST

    WIIIILLLMMAAAAAA!!!, FUCK OFF! OH, HEY BETTY HOW'S IT GOING, YOU

    by Roger U. Roundly

    Jane**sigh**Krakowski**sigh**................pheeew!....... I'm running out the door to see this movie in precisly three and a half minutes. PS, expect Barny to be dead in the next sequel. Victim of a love crime. Now, where'd I leave that 357 Magnum?...........!

  • April 25, 2000, 12:54 a.m. CST

    Betty fetish

    by Eliot

    Thanks to Harry's review I can't get a mental picture of him and Betty Rubble going at it out of my head! God damn it! Why did he have to go into so much detail on his Betty fetish?! I close my eyes, and I still see it. Shit! That's all I'm going to be able to think about all night! Some things just weren't intended by nature... it would be like Roseanne Barr & Steve Buscemi going at it. I don't want to see that, but I can't help looking...like a car wreck.

  • April 25, 2000, 12:54 a.m. CST

    Cheap shot at Star Wars there Harry

    by Tall_Boy

    take it back, or else you might have a full scale geek-revolt on your hands. BTW, even if this flick is a good as you say it is, the ads just make it seem like the same BS from the first one with more CGI. It has too much of a bad-rep to overcome it, IMHO. Personally, I flat out can't believe it could happen . . .

  • April 25, 2000, 1:09 a.m. CST

    Fate, Gazoo and THE IRON GIANT

    by Todd

    The acceleration in human technology that would have been gained if THE IRON GIANT had arrived on earth back in the Stone Age is unimaginable. Humans are adaptive and opportunistic, and by having a mechanical model such as THE IRON GIANT so early in our pre-history, the industrial revolution no doubt would have happened hundreds of thousands of years sooner. The benefits that we would have seen today if such an occurrence had happened makes me sad that Fate delivered THE IRON GIANT too us when she did. I am further saddened too because I am sure that He would have received a warmer welcome among the

  • April 25, 2000, 1:48 a.m. CST

    I believe Harry's sincerity, but...

    by Dave_F

    ...I've got to wonder how much of the positive energy infusing his review stems solely from the fact that seeing live-action versions of cartoon hotties is a weird sort of consummation of childhood lusting over female cartoon characters? I mean, you can say that the actors playing Fred and Barney were spot on, and the humor was more aimed at adults, whatever, but doesn't it really come down to ogling cartoon girls come to life? Maybe so, and I'm okay with that. Personally, I enjoyed the first Flintstones movie a bit, and I'm pretty sure that Elizabeth Perkins (and that vixen Halle Berry) had a lot to do with it. Now for the record, John Goodman was also great as Fred Flintstone, Kyle MacLachlan perfectly cast as the oily boss, and the CGI very appropriately used...but yeah, seeing them purdy cartoon ladies brought to life remained the central enticement. And they even fell for a goofy schlub like Fred Flintstone - how much of a geek fantasy is that? Anyway, Harry's got some serious balls to acknowledge the cartoon hottie hook, and once again his enthusiasm is infectious. I think I'll give "Flintstones 2" a chance, though I'm not sure I can get up the courage to see it at the theater. Video maybe. "Galaxy Quest" reminded me that family fare movies can still be pretty good, so I'm up for this.

  • April 25, 2000, 1:48 a.m. CST

    RE:Todd

    by Flmlvr

    You continue to out-do yourself, man. Dammit...when am I gonna see some KUNG FU!....oh, yeah keep an eye out for my sister on those teen porno sites.

  • April 25, 2000, 1:50 a.m. CST

    Ya know....

    by DarthJoe

    Father Geek sounds like the kind of person who wears a tight t-shirt that says "HUNH!"

  • April 25, 2000, 2:25 a.m. CST

    Cool

    by Stilt-Man

    I was all over Harry for his past reviews of films on this site, but dang, he actually wrote a review that may make me feel only slightly embarrased when I decide to see the film (still a little long-winded, but it worked to perk up my curiousity about this film...I thought the trailer actually looked decent).

  • April 25, 2000, 2:26 a.m. CST

    Cool

    by Stilt-Man

    I was all over Harry for his past reviews of films on this site, but dang, he actually wrote a review that may make me feel only slightly embarrased when I decide to see the film (still a little long-winded, but it worked to perk up my curiousity about this film...I thought the trailer actually looked decent).

  • April 25, 2000, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Oh, Good Lord...

    by Cassius the Evil

    Harry, why in the Hell did you have to bring up Problem Child 2, one of the most painful movies ever made?! Jesus... I had to undergo hynosis just to forget that turd, and- OHNOPLEASEGOD... THE MEMORIES COMING BACK!!! AAAAAAGH!!!

  • April 25, 2000, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Saw VIVA LAS VEGAS last night, too. It was okay, but it wasn't g

    by Sam Spade

    I think Harry might have been a little to smitten by Betty to give a really objective opinion of the movie. Sure, it's tons better than the first one...but that's not saying a whole lot. Bright spots: Gazoo (very cool), Betty, Barney's voice, aimed more at adults than kids, Harvey Korman as Col. Slaghoople!!! Sore spots: Kristen Johnston's unWilma-like portrayal of Wilma, Barney's look (Steven never disappears into the character...it just looks like Steven Baldwin going to a costume party as Barney Rubble), lame plot, lame ending. Maybe if the first movie had never take place, I would have been more impressed with the scenery, etc. But that reaction was wasted on the first movie. All in all, I'd give it a weak 3 on a five scale. Worth a Saturday Matinee, but not worth paying full price (IMHO).

  • April 25, 2000, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Alan Cumming - at last appreciated?

    by LittleSaturn

    I'm extremely glad that Harry gave such high praise to the whole Gazoo character because Alan Cumming certainly deserves it. He's one of several British actors in Hollywood today that would flourish in a quality film if given the chance. British thespians usually do not make the transition well and if they do, it takes years (of bit and caricature roles) and several trips back to theater. If Alan Cumming's Gazoo really is the highlight of film, he should start getting much bigger roles with top directors (maybe his Cabaret director Sam Mendes could hook him up with something great - again). I know he's playing the baddie in two upcoming mainstream flicks but the man is truly funny and can act! Give him something challenging and there's no telling where he could go. I only plan on seeing Flintstones because of Alan and I really hope it gets him the attention he commands. Thanks for listening to my ramble.

  • April 25, 2000, 9:50 a.m. CST

    Harry has Terrible problems

    by Ted Terrific

    and I know terrible. With all due respect, we all love ya, Harry, but was there ever a movie that you didn't like? Was there ever a food item that you didn't like? Your idea of a fuck goddess is a cartoon? Harry take the vast sums of kickback money we all hope you are getting from the studios and invest in some serious therapy.

  • April 25, 2000, 11:02 a.m. CST

    "I'm going steady, and I French Kiss..."

    by agentcooper

    "So? Everybody does that." "Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it." -Jane Krackowski's best line ever.

  • April 25, 2000, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Spidey sense goin' berserk

    by monkeylucifer

    Gee, Harry, if this film is as good as you said "Godzilla," "Pitch Black," and "Space Truckers" were then shoot me....just friggin shoot me right between the eyes and put me out of my misery before I have to suffer through this film

  • April 25, 2000, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Newspaper ad...Aint It Cool News' Harry Knowles raves "BETTY IS

    by Lenny Nero

    I don't believe this. I won't believe it, I can't believe it, I shan't believe it...Alright, I will believe it. I was going to see a screening of this, thinking "nothing can be as bad as the first movie," but then I saw the preview. OH MAN...it could be as bad as the first movie. So I gave up the tickets. But now, it's like I'm in some alternate universe, stuck here with Bizarro Harry. Can this really be true? Can "Flintsones: Viva Rock Vegas" actually be redeemable? I tell you what, I'll see it when it comes out, but if it sucks, Harry will lose my respect (although only for about a day, because he is the Head Geek, and I am his geek minion).

  • April 25, 2000, 2:25 p.m. CST

    ahem...

    by bright

    I'm skeptical because: a) the first one stunk b) sequels are rarely good c) previews were beyond stupid d) Mr. Knowles has a dubious taste. Thank you

  • April 25, 2000, 2:35 p.m. CST

    To Todd, in addendum...

    by skittlebrau

    ...I would just like to sit back & imagine how even MORE wonderful our world would be today if The Iron Giant would have provided out prehistoric ancestors with the one thing THEN that would make this planet a perfect place RIGHT NOW, and that's....More Cow Bell!

  • April 25, 2000, 2:45 p.m. CST

    Betty Rubble may be a fuck goddes...

    by The Avenger

    But Jane Jetson IS THE FUCK GODDES... Ok, I've got problems...

  • April 25, 2000, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Re: Todd & Fate,Gazoo & the Iron Giant

    by Emmit Fitz-Hume

    Huh???.... Cool... teen porno.

  • April 25, 2000, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Best Fred Ever= Ron Jeremy

    by BurninBullwinkle

    In the classic film, "The Flintbones," you can find the best portrayal of Fred Flinstone: The great Ron Jeremy. I encourage everyone, especially those of you with small children, to see the adventures of Red, Burney, Ready, Willing, Puddles, Gang Bang, Mr. Straight and the Great Wazoo.

  • April 25, 2000, 5:45 p.m. CST

    Harry, Todd and Moriarty

    by All Thumbs

    Between the Flinstone's review, the Iron Giant rant of the century and the late, latest edition of the Rumblings, this has been an excellent day for AICN. I'm glad Harry doesn't do "professional" reviews because they don't have the heart or the words "fuck goddess" listed in them. Pro reviews like Ebert's are great, they're wonderful, but sometimes you just need to hear about the latest starlet Harry's drooling over after getting into an argument over the Great Gazoo. Damn, I love this site.

  • April 25, 2000, 5:57 p.m. CST

    say what you will..

    by jph

    The movie may be good, or it may suck Dino's dinger, but if there's one thing that's true, the set designer should win some kind of friggin' award. Maybe not an Oscar, but some "you did a hell of a job making a cartoon world real life" award.

  • April 25, 2000, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Brian Levant is COOOL!

    by floob

    Hey, it could be MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH worse; Joel Schumacher could've directed it and had Fred & Barney suckin' each otha.

  • April 26, 2000, 1:21 a.m. CST

    CENSORSHIP

    by DrChainsaw

    I like the way you censored my Talk Back comment, then kicked me off the user list...my commentary was no worse than some of the other crap I read here on a daily basis...you are a fat fucking loser...You know everything that was said was true. So let me reiterate it for all the people who didn't see it the first time. First off, no one gives a flying fuck about how you and your dad nearly broke up your relationship over the first flintsones Movie. No one also gives two shits about all the irrelevant bullshit you just love to spread all over your reviews...it's like kids in high school who don't know what they are talking about in a paper so they make a paper that is essentially BULLSHIT. Nice tactics. I'd like to actually read a real review rather than see you drone on and on like you did in your review of Gladiator...in both these reviews, I gleaned absolutely nothing I didn't already know, except your obsession with Betty Rubble the "fuck goddess"...she's a cartoon for christ's sake...if you get an erection over a two dimensional drawing of a woman, then you definitely need to get a hold of the real thing, which would become much easier for you if you weren't an overzealous fanboy with an obesity problem. I left out the part about "Brian Savant" and "Captain Kazoo" or whatever the fuck it was that took over half the page. That's like saying "it was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very" to get more words into a paper, another grade school tactic...I guess that shows us your intellect level. Truth hurts doesn't it. Instead of being a wastoid and writing bad reviews (which is probably why you were voted the laughingstock of the Oscars), why don't you try dieting, getting a regular job like the rest of the fucking world and be normal for a change. Cause no one likes a 30+ year old fanboy without a life. CENSOR THAT, BITCH.

  • April 26, 2000, 7:50 p.m. CST

    Hottest cartoon babe ever ?...

    by Skyway Moaters

    ...Jessica Rabbit, HANDS DOWN!

  • April 27, 2000, 6:02 p.m. CST

    John Taylor?

    by Spacey and Duran

    Just wondering how many seconds John Taylor is in this movie... and how scantily clad he is... ~*Caty*~

  • April 27, 2000, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Re: Hottest Cartoon Character

    by Spacey and Duran

    Sorry to break the cartoon chick hoop, but the hottest cartoon character ever is Shaggy from Scooby Doo... unless puppets count. Then it would be Lock or Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas (now I'm breaking the tv thing going on) - yeah, a skeleton and little thing in a mask, but it's better than my former obsession with Raphael from TMNT... if comics are in order, then it's Jay and Silent Bob.

  • April 28, 2000, 4:38 p.m. CST

    I love cartoon lesbians......

    by LatinLingo

    Pepermint Patty and Marcie were hot and that fat bitch Velma from Scooby Doo had her he-manish charm Tell me where are all the Latin loving cartoon Lesbians

  • April 28, 2000, 4:38 p.m. CST

    I love cartoon lesbians......

    by LatinLingo

    Pepermint Patty and Marcie were hot and that fat bitch thelma from Scooby Doo had her he-manish charm Tell me where are all the Latin loving cartoon Lesbians

  • April 28, 2000, 5:53 p.m. CST

    FOR THE ATTENTION OF DR CHAINSAW.

    by sleep

    I can't believe the amount of hate there is on the talk backs. When I was expressing my opinion about the tv show friends, because I love to wind people up, because I know what a bunch of hate filled low lifes some of you people are. Because someone is over-weight, doesn't mean that people have a right to diss and humiliate them. One of the talk back losers wrote. 'no offence harry but fat people disgust me.' has got to be the ultimate two face comment to date. You might as well say, 'no offence Sammy L Jackson, but I hate niggers.' There's a lot of homophobic and xenophobic remarks also on the talk backs. The media have really tapped in to your pea sized brain haven't they? This is what kind of bull shit I was telling you about. When you tv loving friend tells you what to think, what to wear, what's cool, what's not cool, who to hate. YOU PEOPLE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!!! As for Dr Chainsaw's comment. Harry has a right to do what he likes to do best. he has the right to his opinions, he has the right to write about what colour shit he had before he went in to see the latest blockbuster, it's his site, he can write what he likes. Are you going to be like those losers who shot Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, JFK, John Lennon, because they didn't like what they said? Did any of you watch the Oliver Stone film Talk Radio, haven't you learned that hate aspires to nothing. What he isn't and I'm glad, because all you racist, corpulentists, xenophobic, homophobic, should take tips from Harry, and that is respect other people, for who they are, and what they are. Whether they are fat, of a different race, religion, or country. Who wants to be perfect? I love imperfections. I love women who are big, because those are the people who are real, who think of others as well as themselves. It's a persons right to do what they want to do, and what they look like. Fat people may sweat a bit more, but they still smell sweeter than the shit you perspire. It's not about pollitically correctness, you don't have to be P.C. to be nice and respect people for who they are. It's called being human.

  • April 29, 2000, 4:11 p.m. CST

    You're right, I don't believe you.

    by fonebone

    Harry, you actually had me considering a Flintstone outing. Ebert sez: "unspeakably obvious, labored and idiotic humor" and "the ideal movie for infants." I admire you, though, for sticking your neck out on this one -- it shows guts. Or maybe you're just into Jane Krakowski. I still think her work in "Vacation" was the best.

  • May 1, 2000, 12:43 a.m. CST

    Harry's sex drive

    by not_a_jedi_yet

    Again with the hormonal overload, Harry? Has anyone else noticed how in just about everything he writes these days, his copulatory fixation is showing? (and that's not a pleasant image)

  • May 1, 2000, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Magaret Mitchell

    by Brimacombe

    I think we all were taught a valuable lesson when Margaret Mitchell was run over by a taxi when she was about to write the sequel to Gone With The Wind. Only The Godfather and Planet of the Apes worked with sequels. Stay the fuck away from this so they don't make a third.

  • May 1, 2000, 10:45 a.m. CST

    The death of Harry's taste buds

    by The Gline

    I'm taking up a collection to have new ones transplanted in.

  • May 1, 2000, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Re: Margaret Mitchell

    by Gothmog

    The only sequels that worked were Godfather and Planet of the Apes? Do I really need to bring up Aliens and T2 on a fanboy site? Those sequels were much better than any of the Apes sequels, and there have been many other examples in which sequels have been as good as or better than the originals. I agree about not needing a Flintstones sequel - the obvious problem here is that the other film series listed here had an original movie that was worthy of follow-ups. The first Flintstones movie was a mess - any sequels should have been straight-to-vid affairs. It's rather silly to compare it to PotA, Gone with the Wind, or The Godfather.

  • May 3, 2000, 6:39 a.m. CST

    Flintstones: Viva Rock Vegas - yawn or what?

    by RKO Radio

    I've just read this astonishing review of the latest Flintstones film. It bears almost no relation to the weakly plotted, tiresomely scripted stroll through clicheville film of the same name that I saw a couple of days ago! I agree that the casting was excellent and some of the stone age gadgets were great but frankly, the rest of it was rightly pitched at five to seven year olds who loved it. For example, what did the character of Great Gazoo, tediously played by Alan Cummings, add? other than to provide this viewer with an enormously powerful irritant. I'm with B Rubble on this one and would willingly have punched the little twerp in the face, repeatedly. Yabba Dabba DONT bother seeing it.

  • May 3, 2000, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Dr. Chainsaw and his ilk...

    by lycanthrope

    Part of me would like to believe that that load of vehement bile spewed by Dr.C was merely to raise the ire of Harry's friends and supporters... If it is a "true" posting, then this individual seriously needs a life and to get laid... If you don't like Harry's reviews, you can find plenty of scholarly, traditional reviews on the net and in many periodicals... Just hit the little "x" up in the corner of your screen and get on with your life... The fact that so much hate is pouring out of you over an inocuous website seems to indicate some serious problems... Harry - I don't always agree with you, but I appreciate your zeal and the information you make available to us... I don't care about your weight, your religion, your sexual preferences or whatever - just be yourself - you are the "cool" in AICN! And BTW, I always thought Judy Jetson and Lana Lang were major hotties - oh, and the Silver Age Supergirl and her new animated counterpart - so there.

  • May 3, 2000, 12:15 p.m. CST

    I saw it last night... And it does indeed kick ass.

    by Freebooter

    I hated the first Flinstones movie so bad I thought I'd stroke out after I saw it... but something about this (namely Mark Addy being in it) brought me to see this movie... and GOD I couldn't be happier. This movie is FUNNY and is everything the first movie should have been and more. Harry was correct, everyone works perfectly in this film. I don't even like Kristen Johnson and I LOVED HER AS WILMA IN THIS. And Jane Krakowski was AWESOME as Betty... serious hotty there. This franchise was much like the Addams Family franchise in that the first film sucked, but the second finally hit its stride. I'll probably see Viva Rock Vegas again while it's out, just for the performances alone. It's *that* much fun.

  • May 6, 2000, 3:16 p.m. CST

    A question...

    by Einhander

    What's better? A Good idea done badly, or a Bad idea done well? Because while I enjoyed this... uh... film, I guess.... rather much, I couldn't help wondering... why? It's all done very well, but why? Why Alan Cumming, Mark Addy and Kristen Johnson in a Flinstones sequel? Why all this money spent on good SFX? Why the good jokes? IT'S A FLINSTONES MOVIE! Why couldn't this same group of proffesionals been working on M2M instead, and leave Brian De Palma to make a lump of crap out of this one, which everyone expected to suck anyway? We may never know. all I know is, Rock Vegas is better than M2M, and considering the pedegrees, that's sad.

  • May 7, 2000, 12:52 a.m. CST

    I saw it last night... And it does indeed suck ass.

    by Tornado_Jackson

    This is a great film Harry? BULLSHIT,BULLSHIT,BULLSHIT you're full of crap Harry. This movie sucked brown stinky wang and you know it. I have to wonder how much of a payoff you got this time for your oversized generous bull-shit review of yours. This is good? The Great Gazoo was not funny! the girl from third rock is not hot in this movie and in an early scene when she screams you can see some funky red-shit growing on her tongue. And she treats every God-damn line as if it was fucking Shakespeare!!! You're wrong just like you were wrong about Pitch Black which you called " A Bucket Full of Suprises" or something like that. You Asshole.

  • May 11, 2000, 8:59 a.m. CST

    people are strange

    by Scrutchpipe

    All you folks lusting after cartoon characters? Why dont you buy some porno mags or just look down your street. Theres great REAL women everywhere. Only the ugliest, fattest, gingerest bastards could ever be so desperate as to lust after drawings...uuugggh Saw you in "the faculty" harry, I think the gym is worth visiting, as the cinema obviously will send you to a heart attack. cheers

  • May 12, 2000, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Does anyone remember Popeye?

    by anim8er

    I think I saw the first Flintstones movie at the dollar theater. I'm not sure it was worth that. I thought the idea of a live action version of a cartoon a stupid idea. But on the other hand, I remember thinking Robin Williams should have gotten an Oscar for his portrail of Popeye. Reading some of the comments on Flintstones 2 reminded me of that movie that I had actually completely forgotten about when Flintstones 1 came out. The movie Popeye sucked, but Robin Williams still should have gotten an Oscar.

  • May 14, 2000, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Viva Rock Vegas. It's not THAT bad.

    by Flix

    Hello Again Harry. I agree with your review of "Viva Rock Vegas." A lot of critics, and many of the people who have posted messages in response to your review of the movie, disagree with us. "Viva Rock Vegas" is not that bad of a movie. I think the cast certainly helps. Jane Krakowski is very good as Betty. Infinitely better than Rosie O'Donnell. Did O'Donnell suck or what!? Alan Cumming was very good as The Great Gazoo. A character I would like to have seen in the original. It certainly would have helped. Joan Collins was much better than Elizabeth Taylor. Taylor was horribly miscast in my mind. A lot of the critics loved her. I thought she was terrible. Joan Collins is much better. I find it funny that a few critics (Your buddy Roger Ebert being one of them) think the original is better. What are they all smoking? I left the theatre with a smile on my face feeling that while it was not a great movie, I was very entertained. I wonder why so very few people disagree.

  • May 26, 2000, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Fred and John, John and Fred

    by Andymation

    What do you mean, John Goodman is not Fred Flintstone. He is. Fred jumped off the drawing board and presumed a fake identity of a John Goodman. I just can't understand how our mr. Flintstone got in touch with the Coen-brothers....

  • May 26, 2000, 4:54 p.m. CST

    True Confession.

    by diverdan

    Okay I admit it. Tinkerbell is the subject of some of my "Happy Thoughts".

  • May 29, 2000, 2:32 p.m. CST

    flinstones 2 was a cool movie it was phat!

    by spiderfreddie

    all the people who insult it are just cynical assholes.and they had a bad childhood and should get a life!!!!!!!

  • Feb. 4, 2009, 3:42 a.m. CST

    holy shit

    by The Amazing G

    just....holy shit

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