John Ary here with a bit of a complaint. The Olympics are BORING. If I wouldn't normally watch televised speed walking, why would I watch it now? There has to be something better to do with our time than watch snippets of men's water polo matches in between plugs for NBC's awful new fall lineup. That got me thinking... What movies from around the world with Olympic type events or themes would I rather be watching right now. I opened up my Netflix queue and here are a few films I picked out...
The Robber - One of the most fundamental and basic Olympic events is the marathon, but frankly, watching people run for four hours can be... exhausting. The Robber, a German film from 2010 tells the true story of Johann Rettenberger, a former marathon runner who has turned his unique gift into a brilliant method for robbing banks. This is a thriller with some of the most unique chase sequences you’ll ever see in a film. It has a nice existential noir vibe and strong performances from its leads... It’s definitely more exciting than watching the Kenyan marathoners win the gold... again.
Knuckle - The chances of seeing a knockout in amateur boxing are fairly slim. Who wants to watch a flyweight with oversized gloves trade blows with another guy wearing an oversized headpiece? Instead, let’s get a little more down and dirty with some real bare-knuckle brawling. The documentary Knuckle follows the McDonagh clan and their heated rivalry with the Joyces. The two families put their honor and money on the line with bloody one-on-one brawls. The director has captured most of those fights on camera over the course of nearly a dozen years and now he’s telling the story of the most revered fighter of all James Quinn McDonagh. Will he retire undefeated or will his family’s honor throw him back into combat? Either way, he’s definitely a guy you don’t want to piss off.
Men Who Swim - I was shocked to learn that men can’t compete in Olympic synchronized swimming... SHOCKED! That’s a shame as the documentary Men Who Swim proves that the guys are just as competent as the ladies when it comes to fluttering in circles through the pool. This film features a group of ordinary middle-aged guys who start a synchronized swim squad as a joke, but their hobby soon turns serious once they find out that there are other squads like them throughout the world. The journey for this group of men is funny, moving and shows exactly why everyone needs a team of some sort to belong to.
The Minis - I like watching the NBA as much as the next guy, but when Team USA is beating chumps like Nigeria by 83 points, it’s time to change the channel. Instead may I suggest to you a real gem of a basketball movie. No, I’m not talking about Hoop Dreams, Hoosiers or On the Shoulders of Giants. No. One film stood out to me while flipping through my Netflix queue. The Minis. Just check out the poster for this thing. I mean, holy crap!!! It’s Dennis Rodman on a basketball team of little people. Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, the film lives up to the poster. It’s not quite as good as The Room, but definitely in the same ball park. It’s epically unaware of its own shortcomings with some terrible green screen work, a script that makes Tommy Wiseau look like Billy Wilder and a nightmare inducing original soundtrack. If there was a bizarre basketball movie event, this film would get the gold.
College - And finally, not everyone is meant to be an athlete. For the folks who grew up getting picked last or were mocked because they preferred to read a book at recess rather than getting pelted in the face by a dodgeball, there’s Buster Keaton’s College. The film follows a hapless bookworm, who must learn to play sports to gain the attention of the woman he loves. Some of the humor feels dated, but getting to see Keaton put his athleticism on display in the world of college sports is at times a joy. College is funny and heartbreaking. but not nearly as strong as some of his other works. Still, it’s better than watching the Olympics...
All of these films are streaming on Netflix now. For more interviews, features, exclusive content and reviews subscribe to the AICN Youtube channel and follow me on Twitter.
