Hey. "Moriarty" here. You know the man. You know what he's here for. I'm just gonna shut up now.

The Future, Conan?

Cool people on the chatshows TONIGHT: Premiere comedy genius NORM MACDONALD (Letterman; repeat) -- Tenacious “High Fidelity” scene stealer JACK BLACK and statuesque hottie MIRA SORVINO (Conan) -- “SNL” savior WILL FERRELL and statuesque hottie CHARLIZE THERON (Kilborn) -- “Party of Five” girl LACEY CHABERT, “Titus” mastermind CHRIS TITUS and rock star ANI DIFRANCO (Leno).

Cool people on the chatshows MONDAY: There are currently NO COOL PEOPLE scheduled for the chatshows Monday. Get out of the house and see “High Fidelity” before sweeps start.

Gods & Ends

Just a few tidbits, all involving endings in this season of endings:

The first of four all-new “West Wings” airs next Wednesday.

The first of four all-new “ERs” airs next Thursday.

There are only two more new “Star Trek: Voyagers” left this season. The season finale airs May 3.

I sense you want to defy me! DON’T!

I am – Hercules!