Cool News
Breck Eisner Gets Pulled On To Direct STRETCH ARMSTRONG!!
The Kidd here...
There hasn't been a lot of motion on the planned STRETCH ARMSTRONG flick since the project was dumped by Universal at the end of their Hasbro partnership and subsequently picked up by Relativity Media. Taylor Lautner became un-attached from the film, and that was about it.
But there's about to be some new life breathed into the stretchy hero, as The Hollywood Reporter reports that Breck Eisner is in talks to direct STRETCH ARMSTRONG.
Eisner doesn't exactly have the type of track record that'd get you excited about his involvement in STRETCH ARMSTRONG. The two feature films he has to his credit are SAHARA and the remake of George Romero's THE CRAZIES. Add that to the company that brought us BATTLESHIP and TRANSFORMERS, and confidence isn't what starts brewing.
However, a big part of what might actually make STRETCH ARMSTRONG will be the casting as well as the tone. If they can find the right frontman to be stretched out on-screen, and can find a good mix between comedy and action, there might be something to this idea yet. I'll have to see it to believe it though.
-Billy Donnelly
"The Infamous Billy The Kidd"
Follow me on Twitter.
Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus-
+ Expand All
-
This would have been an ideal Jim Carrey vehicle about 15 years go.
-
I was deprived as a child and had neither a Stretch Armstrong, nor an Etch-a-sketch... My friends had them, though, and your photo above accurately shows the play value i gather Stretch had.
-
identical
-
July 11, 2012, 10:39 a.m. CST
Never had a Stretch Armstrong but his limbs look like...
by thedude2010
Dicks
-
July 11, 2012, 10:41 a.m. CST
re: "If they can find the right frontman to be stretched out on-screen..."
by buggerbugger
Mr. Travolta will be bringing his personal collection of butt plugs to the audition.
-
ten years ago. But I think perhaps these resources would best be allocated somewhere else.
-
Seriously.
-
July 11, 2012, 10:43 a.m. CST
I remember when this was in development in the 80's..
by Righteous Brother
with Danny Devito set to star.
-
Not really
-
In my sleep addled haze, I thought the headline read that Brock Lesnar would be playing Stretch Armstrong, which wouldn't be bad casting.
-
July 11, 2012, 10:48 a.m. CST
When corporations are in control, this is the shit you will get.
by nephilim138
-
Stretch Armstrong is a professional wrestler. Played by Hulk Hogan. The rest writes itself.
-
Stretch Monster is in it, I'm in!
-
It will be like a stretchy Brock Samson. Armstrong even looks like Brock....kinda.
-
Everyone I know loved that cartoon as kids
-
You think Breck Eisner is better than this? He should be so lucky to get shit like this...
-
July 11, 2012, 10:56 a.m. CST
Hey, if it keeps him away from the Black Lagoon remake...
by Bullet_time_Facehugger
....I'm all for it. I won't see this in theaters or on TV or with my eyes ever, mind you, but he's been long rumored to be directing the Creature remake and that needs to not happen.
-
July 11, 2012, 11:02 a.m. CST
Ok...pointless trash projects like this I find more than a little annoying
by wcolbert
Not simply because they exist - more so because it is millions of dollars that could be far better used for a much worthier cause... movies should be made to tell a story, not to try to cash in on obscure toys from 20 years ago. For crying out loud....this is what, 50 million dollars or more that could be put toward college scholarships, research, or heck, even other movies that people would actually pay to see. I can't think of anyone who has ever gone "Gee, you know what would be really awesome? If they'd make a stretch armstrong movie. It'd be like the Fantastic 4 minus all personality and 3 of the guys don't show up." Seriously. Who EVER asked for that? If you want to make a movie based on obscure toys from our childhoods, try Dino Riders. At least THAT idea might be a little bad-ass (albeit in an incredibly cheesy way).
-
I never read comics as a kid - was a Peanuts fanatic, though. Anyway, I did work pre-production phase on Amblin's "Plastic Man" in the early 90s. Tom Hanks was to star, and Catherine Hardwicke was the production designer, with Bryan Spicer directing. Extensive set design sketches and location scouting for a few months... Is "Stretch" similar?
-
I don't have any good ideas for the movie. But then again, no one does.
-
July 11, 2012, 11:06 a.m. CST
A better idea? Here's one. Rosie O'Donnell and Roseanne are: Hungry Hungry Hippos - The Movie
by theDORK
You're welcome.
-
It's sounds stoopid and it will most probably end up stoopid!
-
Oh wait, you want to make money with this project I see.
-
It was one of the best made and scariest horror/thriller movies I've seen in years--other than the very end, which was pretty ridiculous. And say what you will about the Sahara script, but there wasn't anything wrong with the direction.
-
July 11, 2012, 11:11 a.m. CST
They can greenlight this shit but not fucking Plastic Man?
by Blarg Barfington
Was anybody other than license holders asking for this movie?
-
Not sure why anyone would say otherwise.
-
July 11, 2012, 11:13 a.m. CST
Here's a movie that would be worth making and we are well overdue for
by wcolbert
I wish someone would have the balls to do a real, human piece about young Hitler and what made him into what he became - I don't mean the typical portrayal as a frothing madman, but the scarier truth that he was an actual human being who did what all humans some place inside are capable of. Der Untergang (The Downfall) was fantastic, though that only covered his last days in the bunker. I think it's important that we understand the psychology of a person like that - history will repeat itself, after all. But oh fuck, what do we get? Stretch Armstrong. Wonder if it'll get an oscar. Man, I bet Spielberg wishes he'd done that instead of Schindler's List. >.>
-
July 11, 2012, 11:16 a.m. CST
Speaking of Schindler's List ... get Liam Neeson to play Stretch and you MIGHT have an oddly entertaining film
by wcolbert
They took his family...man did they make a mistake.
-
Certainly one of the best remakes in recent history. The movie was scary, disturbing, and entertaining. Timothy Olyphant is one of the better, reliable actors today in Hollywood. However, nobody wants a Stretch Armstrong movie.
-
I was wondering what happened to this movie.
-
July 11, 2012, 11:24 a.m. CST
Christian Bale delivers a powerful, haunting performance as Stretch Armstrong.
by wcolbert
I can see it now.
-
It's time has come.
-
July 11, 2012, 11:28 a.m. CST
Crazies had a nice old school filming quality, no shaky cam modern editing. Liked it. Plus the Olyphant helped too.
by higgledyhiggles
-
From the studio that brought you "Simon Rising" and the director of "The Kerplunk Konnektion" and "The Lawn Darts Massacre". Hey, where's the Big Jim movie? Co-starring Big Jack, Big Josh, Big Jeff, and Dr Steel (or does the list of characters make it come across as gay porn?).
-
Stretch Armstrong 2 - Jerkin' the Silly Putty
-
July 11, 2012, 11:31 a.m. CST
Will Smith and his walking example of nepotism in...CONNECT 4...next summer
by wcolbert
-
July 11, 2012, 11:33 a.m. CST
Ben Kingsley is the Monopoly Guy in...MONOPOLY...in theaters June 2014
by wcolbert
-
And everything will be alright...
-
but check out the 2003 TV movie (if you can find it) "Hitler: The Rise of Evil" starring Robert Carlyle, with Stockard Channing, Jena Malone, Julianna Margulies, Matthew Modine, Liev Schreiber, Peter Stormare, and Peter O'Toole.
-
from the 70's (possibly even earlier) where you had a balloon in a box and players took turns jabbing pointy sticks into the box trying not to pop the balloon? 'Cause that's the movie adaptation I want to see!
-
Though I rather prefer (having a Grandmother who grew up there and who has a German accent) these kinds of movies to be acted by real Germans (the fake accents are just a little painful for me as they are so easy to spot). Still, seems interesting! I heard Alec Guiness, Obi Wan himself, once played him?
-
July 11, 2012, 11:45 a.m. CST
Jim Carrey as Plastic Man is so obvious you wonder why it hasn't been pitched yet
by Crimson Dynamo
-
Regarding the Hitler movie, wasn't there that Cusack vehicle a few years back called Max that was similar to what you're asking about?
-
Olyphant pretty much makes any movie more interesting, and I thought Eisner did a good job with pulling together a creepy flick with actual human beings for characters.
-
Fuck you Hollywood.
-
July 11, 2012, 11:50 a.m. CST
Eisner doesn't exactly have the type of track record that'd get you excited about his involvement in STRETCH ARMSTRONG.
by Michael Miller
Kidd, would you mind describing your exclusive short list of directors that WOULD get you excited for a STRETCH ARMSTRONG movie?
-
July 11, 2012, 11:54 a.m. CST
I want a big budget Captain Scarlet. Could be really good if they made it... good. It`s made for the big screen.
by higgledyhiggles
No to Jonathan Frakes, sorry mate.
-
Tiddlywinks from spaaaace.
-
Yes, "Hitler: The Last Ten Days". If I have seen it, I don't recall but I gather from the title it would be similar to "Downfall". I don't remember if the actors in "Hitler: Rise of Evil" used their own accents or adopted a German one. I think if you are looking for a movie with Germans playing the German roles you may have to limit yourself to German cinema. That brings to mind a movie I saw recently that I can recommend to you: "The Counterfeiters". True story about a counterfeiting ring being run from a concentration camp. I think it is a German film, but it could have been Austrian. Either way, I thought it was quite an interesting story and well told.
-
If I can rent it I'll check it out.
-
Stretch Armstrong - Battle the Cyclops
-
Stretch Armstrong - Battle of the red-headed cock-eyed woodpecker
-
Stretch Armstrong - Cruzin' then Oozin'
-
July 11, 2012, 12:08 p.m. CST
Hows about a Movie based on ROM The Spaceknight instead of this impending turdfest?
by Stalkeye
-
Stretch Armstrong VS the One Eyed Purple Warrior
-
July 11, 2012, 12:13 p.m. CST
Re: "The Counterfeiters" - I'll definitely look into it :)
by wcolbert
Sometimes even the German films don't have all German casts, I've found - Bruno Ganz, who played Hitler in Der Untergang, is, if I recall, Swedish - but his portrayal is the most chillingly dead-on accurate one I have ever seen (even his former bodyguard and people who knew him personally said it was absolutely bang-on). His accent is, I think, a little odd, but then Hitler had a bit of an accent, from what I understand.
-
"UNO" Summer 2014
-
are old sex toy jokes about it. I guess I can see that. But it aint no vibrating Harry Potter witch's broom with adjustable speeds. That's for sure.
-
July 11, 2012, 12:16 p.m. CST
JENGA...the Taliban are back, and this time they're after our wood
by wcolbert
-
Stretch Armstrong - Five versus Willy
-
July 11, 2012, 12:23 p.m. CST
Before there was Kick the Can there was...PLAY IN THE WOODS
by wcolbert
Starring Joaquine Phoenix and Miley Cyrus in a coming-of-age story for the ages.
-
July 11, 2012, 12:26 p.m. CST
Next Summer...SMEAR THE QUEER...Starring Justin Bieber and Sean William Scott
by wcolbert
-
Stretch Armstrong in Dirty Dancing: San Francisco Nights - Foreskin Mambo
-
Mr. Olyphant obviously raised the material a whole hell of a lot with his utter awesomeness, but it was a solid little horror flick. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Just because it wasn't a massive success doesn't mean we should be snarky. I'm certainly not looking forward to stretch armstrong, and Sahara was an unbelievable piece of shit…but let's give credit where its due. Crazies remake was damn fine.
-
Love your idea... I think we should put pressure on Hollywood for your film!!!
-
can't wait till he stretches his butthole and goes all gotse on a motherfucker. swallow that bitch hole.
-
J/K But yeah, anything is better than Stretch Armstrong. Another "brilliant' idea.
-
July 11, 2012, 1:09 p.m. CST
@thedork...Stupid idea. They're trying to make kid friendly movies, not horror movies.
by art123guy
-
July 11, 2012, 1:31 p.m. CST
holy shit Wiki says Tom Hanks is co-writing Maj. Matt Mason
by Crimson Dynamo
-
and all the cast and crew are named Brock ___ner, too...
-
love the way it was filmed and constructed. @wcolbert, no more movies about hitler. Or world war ii. Seriously, other events happened in human history. Will Stretch Armstrong be... Brendan Fraser? (yes) Christian Slater (doubtful) Sean Astin?
-
Starring the cast of Dazed and Confused and The Big Lebowski.
-
. . . or at least about 85 % of it. I liked the build up at the beginning. Loved the aerial shot of that submerged plane. It had a lot of good moments but kinda petered out there at the end. Casting of Oliphant's deputy was sub par, too.
-
July 12, 2012, 1:43 a.m. CST
Stretch Armstrong might skew too much older.
by Bedknobs and Boomsticks
50 somethings might not be as nostalgic for their 70's childhood stuff as 40 something 80's kids. Probably why we haven't heard much about that Matt Mason movie based on the toy from the 60's.
-
July 12, 2012, 2:19 a.m. CST
...from the comments in this TB I deduce that this would do great as a gay fetish movie.
by uberfreak
-
July 12, 2012, 2:21 a.m. CST
Team stretch up with Suckerman, another toy that
by Bedknobs and Boomsticks
didn't work as well as advertised. Or maybe that bleeding bat toy Gre-gory: www.x-entertainment.com/halloweencountdown/2003/september23/
Top Talkbacks
- Harry dives into STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS' spoilers to reveal the truth behind the blockbuster we're seeing! -- 986 total posts 213 posts
- John Ary's Video Review Of The New CAPTAIN AMERICA (1990) Blu-ray!! -- 110 total posts 110 posts
- Nordling Reviews STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS! Spoilers Abound! You Are Warned! -- 1242 total posts 101 posts
- STAR WARS REBELS Coming To Disney XD Fall 2014!! Chock Full-O-McQuarrie!?!? -- 62 total posts 62 posts
- ‘Darkness Will Devour Them All!!’ Sunday Brings Antepenultimate GAME OF THRONES For HBO!! -- 269 total posts 51 posts
- Capone reviews STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS and considers the art of messing with canon and why it doesn't bother him!!! -- 580 total posts 41 posts
- Capone gets Extremis talking to actor James Badge Dale about IRON MAN 3, THE LONE RANGER and WORLD WAR Z!!! -- 37 total posts 37 posts
- UPDATE The Friday Docback Calls 'The Name of the Doctor'!! DOCTOR WHO's S7 Finale Arrives This Weekend!! Now With Glen's Ultra-Brief, SPOILER FREE MiniReview!! -- 468 total posts 32 posts
-
Ben Affleck Tonight Hosts
SNL’s 38th Season Finale!! -- 100 total posts 28 posts - Here's A Behind-The-Scenes Look At MAN OF STEEL With New Footage! Also... Is Supergirl In The Prequel Comic? -- 264 total posts 28 posts