Capone laughed so hard at TED, he had the stuffing knocked out of him!!!
Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.
I always find comedies the most difficult films to review, especially the ones I like. A comedy can go so many different directions of bad, so that makes the crap ones easier to write about. But when one goes right, the end result is laughter, or at least a big smile, and without going through the film joke by joke, that makes things tough, but we'll give it try: TED is fucking awesome because it takes the magic of childhood and perverts it in the form of a stuffed, horny vulgarian with a Boston accent (redundant, I know). And I had a hard time not laughing at just about every second of this film.
I know there are plenty of people on this planet who can't stand Seth McFarlane, creator of "Family Guy" among many other things, but I happen to like his sense of humor. But I don't think being a fan is a prerequisite for enjoying TED, a film that, unlike McFarlane animated efforts, has a cohesive story about friendship clashing with love and a future that may force the human center of the story (Mark Wahlberg's John) to part ways with his oldest friend, a worn-out stuffed bear voiced by McFarlane. But Ted isn't one of those imaginary friends that some kids have; no, he's a walking, talking creature that the whole world can see and hear. When John was still a kid, Ted became a superstar (his "Tonight Show" appearance is quite genius), but like all novelty acts, his celebrity faded, and Ted came back to John to live out the rest of his days.
When we meet the grown-up Ted and John, they are getting stoned, eating cheese puffs, and watching the 1980 FLASH GORDON, starring Sam Jones, for the 800th time. John has been dating Lori (Mila Kunis) for four years and working at a rental car dealership. He wants to have a better job and finally get married to Lori, but his inner child (personified by Ted) is holding him back. One of the things I loved most about Ted is that there are no villains among the leads; Lori isn't trying trying to keep Ted and John apart. She just wants John to grow up, and she doesn't think that can happen with Ted living with them (clearly, she has tried living this way for years).
So the real fun in TED comes when the bear moves out, gets a job, and is constantly tempting John to get together and fall back into their old patterns at a new address. I don't mean to imply there are no villains at all in the movie. Giovanni Ribisi is especially twisted as Donny, who is looking to buy or otherwise acquire Ted for his special son. I think the film would have been just as good without that subplot, but it certainly doesn't spoil the fun. In fact, there's a moment with Ribisi that might stand as the creepiest moment of the year on film; it involves him dancing; you'll know it when you see it.
TED works first and foremost because the relationship strike an honest chord. Ted is obviously a metaphor for those friends we keep from our youth who maybe don't grow with us and are still clinging to the past. And the conversations Ted and John have actually sound like two good friends shooting the shit on any number of topics. But the biggest surprise was how even-handed Lori is written by McFarlane (and fellow "Family Guy" co-writers Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild). She's not a nagging harpy and shrieking bitch. Instead, she's the most rational thinking of them all and certainly the character with all the patience.
But TED is a great comedy not just because it has heart, which it does; it's great because it's funny in ways I haven't seen before, certainly not from McFarlane. There is some strong supporting work from the likes of Joel McHale, Patrick Warburton, and Matt Walsh, as well as some downright inspired cameos (I won't ruin those), but this film's core strength belongs to Wahlberg (who is so much more than just a straight man to the bear), Kunis, and McFarlane's Ted. I've seen a few truly inspired R-rated comedies this year, but Ted tops them all for sheer volume of laughter. Will you find it too gross or going too far at times? Let's hope so.
-- Steve Prokopy
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June 29, 2012, 4:25 p.m. CST
by Marc W
Really looking forward to some good laughs at this one.
June 29, 2012, 4:26 p.m. CST
As always I fall behind
June 29, 2012, 4:27 p.m. CST
He wears on me sometimes. I'm glad this movie is getting such great reviews because I wasn't exactly thrilled with it based on the trailers. It comes off in those like Peter Griffin in teddy bear form. Sounds like it should be okay though so I guess I'll give it a look.
June 29, 2012, 4:37 p.m. CST
A foul mouthed teddy bear? Wha-buhh? That just totally turns the whole teddy bear business model upside down!
Chortles with disbelief! What a zany, zany concept! ZABOING! Hoo hoo! YAAAAY!
June 29, 2012, 4:38 p.m. CST
June 29, 2012, 4:39 p.m. CST
Cause it sounds like you do.
June 29, 2012, 4:44 p.m. CST
June 29, 2012, 5:16 p.m. CST
June 29, 2012, 5:31 p.m. CST
by Christian Sylvain
Count me in.
June 29, 2012, 5:39 p.m. CST
You got issues.....big big big issues!!!!!
June 29, 2012, 5:44 p.m. CST
When I found out he's producing a new Cosmos series with Neil DeGrasse Tyson AND purchased a shit-ton of Carl Sagan papers and donated them... well, he went up a notch in my book.
June 29, 2012, 5:44 p.m. CST
June 29, 2012, 6:32 p.m. CST
I like Family Guy when it first started but lost interest in it over the years... But I keep finding reason to respect McFarlane outside of that show. 1. On Bill Mayer, he is smart, educated, and well spoken. 2. Swing music sucks balls but I respect that talent too. 3. How is uses his "celebrity" is great. From the Sagan papers mentioned to his charity work. This is a guy that deserves my $10 on movie night. Lets see if this is as funny as The Dictator?!! If it is, I'll be happy.
June 29, 2012, 6:37 p.m. CST
by Ferf Muckmeyer
Saw it this afternoon. It was almost a full house. I can't remember the last time there was nonstop, loud and boisterous laughter from a movie. I won't throw in any spoilers, but all I can say is I was in physical pain from laughing after exiting the theater. Mark Wahlberg is a great actor and the dynamic between him and his stuffed stoner friend is incredible. Some of the raunchiest stuff I've seen in a film in years. See TED if you want to laugh your fucking ass off.
June 29, 2012, 6:56 p.m. CST
That's not exactly glowing reviews and take out the payola ones and it's really probably closer to 50%.
June 29, 2012, 7:14 p.m. CST
smaller wisecracking shouldn't-be-able-to-speak-but-does sidekick - brian/stewie=roger=rallo=Ted wuss son - chris griffin=steve smith=cleveland jr hot other half - lois=francine=donna=mila kunis etc etc etc I fear for his version of Flintstones (will the Great Gazoo sound like stewie?). The only thing I look forward to is a reboot of Cosmos.
June 29, 2012, 7:43 p.m. CST
by MOOMBA is HERE
Moomba is disappointed.
June 29, 2012, 8:02 p.m. CST
Humor is such a subjective thing. I mean, look at how certain critics trip over thewmselves to applaud Apatow, and a lot of his stuff is sit-com level.
June 29, 2012, 8:02 p.m. CST
by Johnny Wrong
...quoting Rotten Tomatoes ratings automatically makes you a fucking moron. Get a mind of your own, break free of the sheeple. I'm tired of seeing your name attached to generic statements.
June 29, 2012, 8:11 p.m. CST
outrageous like The Hangover sweet and goofy like Tommy Boy smart and slower paced like Idiocracy
June 29, 2012, 8:34 p.m. CST
Pull up a stool and let me buy you a drink, buddy.
June 29, 2012, 8:55 p.m. CST
by the dolphins are in the jacuzzi
So, I don't have high hopes for this movie. I've never seen a McFarlane show that I liked, so I'm not very optimistic about spending $10 to see this one. Most of his stuff strikes me like humor out of one of those "Truly Tasteless Jokes" books of the early '80's, and for many people, that seems to be the appeal. People find his brand of crude, insensitive, borderline-bigoted humor to be "daring" and "controversial," but to me, it uses shock value as a crutch and is never as insightful or intelligent as something like South Park or early Simpsons, although McFarlane obviously thinks it is. Any other "McFarlane haters" seen this movie and actually like it? I'm willing to put any preconceived notions of McFarlane aside if I can get some true non-fans to tell me that this is somehow different from what he usually delivers.
June 29, 2012, 9:02 p.m. CST
I think it is primarily people who cannot take a good (and accurate) ribbing. Because some of his stuff, you have to have some form of autism to not find it funny. There have been times when I felt his jokes have hit a little to close to home, with me, and I can take it. You should try it some time. We all fit into the puzzle pieces of various stereotypes at certain points in our lives. Being able to laugh at yourself a little is a very freeing thing. Not being able to is restrictive, closed, kind of dull. I'm sure a lot of you have very good reasons for not finding him funny... so go ahead and explore those. But most of us out here think his stuff is hilarious. That will continue to remain true. And not wrong.
June 29, 2012, 9:18 p.m. CST
by the dolphins are in the jacuzzi
I can only assume you were directing much of your last post to me, and in response, I can laugh at myself and often do so watching stand-up comedy, in particular (Bob Goldthwait, Richard Pryor, Robin Williams, etc.), and sometimes even in shows like I previously mentioned (South Park, Simpsons, Beavis & Butthead, etc.). In fact, most comedy is rooted in truths that hit so close to home that the recognition makes us laugh. That said, I just don't find him funny. Most of his humor strikes me as mean-spirited and judgmental. And as such, it doesn't surprise me when his fans accuse my dislike of his humor to be somehow my fault or due to some shortcoming of mine. That fits in perfectly with the bullying mentality that I find so prevalent in his humor. And on that note, while yes, most of you out there find his humor to be hilarious, school bullying is also at an all-time high right now. Coincidence?
June 29, 2012, 9:28 p.m. CST
Shut the fuck up. Seriously. That's a serious ass load of bullshit. I know bullies, I grew up fighting bullies who picked on the weak, and trying to form some link between his comedy and an epidemic of school bullying is pathetic. Our society has become nothing but molly-coddlers and a bunch of pussies. There is no blame given, criminals have more rights than the victims and you can't spank a child. Teachers have no disciplinarian powers and kids are raised to be entitled little shit stains. There are dozens of reasons as to why bullying is on the rise, Seth Mcfarlane's humor isn't one of them.
June 29, 2012, 9:30 p.m. CST
I never in a million years would have guessed there were Raunchy Comedy Hipsters out there...
June 29, 2012, 9:31 p.m. CST
by Michael Miller
Good thing I could give two shits what rotten tomatoes says. :)
June 29, 2012, 9:33 p.m. CST
by Bouncy X
give all the little nerds and gay kids a gun. granted that would mean many deaths due to someone liking picard over kirk (or vice versa) or thinking bette midler(or insert gay icon) isn't awe inspiring but hey, it'll thin the herd. :P
June 29, 2012, 9:35 p.m. CST
by the dolphins are in the jacuzzi
I never said that his comedy was a cause of school bullying, more like a reflection of the prevalent attitude in this country (target and exploit the weaknesses of anyone who doesn't "fit in") that allows it. Calling McFarlane responsible for the phenomenon would be as ludicrous as suggesting that George W. Bush was responsible for misguided patriotism. You can't be held responsible for something that has existed for years before you were even born. But I do see his humor as a mirror of the society that we now live in, and the bullying tone of your rant only underscores my point.
June 29, 2012, 9:43 p.m. CST
by the dolphins are in the jacuzzi
I never said that McFarlane was responsible for school bullying, simply that his comedy is a reflection of a prevalent attitude in society that encourages "picking on the weak." To blame McFarlane for a social trend that was in existence for years before he arrived on the scene would be ludicrous. It would be like suggesting that George W. Bush was responsible for misguided patriotism. No, McFarlane isn't directly responsible. His humor, like most humor, merely provides a mirror to our society, but what that mirror shows, via the wide acceptance of its bullying tone is something I find disturbing. And the bullying tone of your rant/rebuttal merely serves to further prove my point.
June 29, 2012, 9:46 p.m. CST
by the dolphins are in the jacuzzi
You can ignore one or the other of my previous two posts. It looked as if the first had been deleted or lost, so I reposted, and they're essentially the same arguments.
June 29, 2012, 9:47 p.m. CST
by the dolphins are in the jacuzzi
That last post (9:43:51 PM CDT) was intended for nightarrows.
June 29, 2012, 9:48 p.m. CST
But it works!
June 29, 2012, 9:56 p.m. CST
Granted, everything I have read consists of AICN reviews, but still. This is probably worth seeing, at some point.
June 29, 2012, 10:24 p.m. CST
I don't think it was wall to wall laughter but it was cuter than I expected. You know it reminded me of a Billy Crystal movie in a way. You know how those always have some crisis that they have to run to get to/fix at the end? Yeah like that. I thought Wahlberg and Kunis did a great job basically acting to a stuffed animal. I mean think about it. We've all heard actors complaining about having to act to tennis balls, etc. But they really seemed to be talking to a real live person. And the conversations did ring true. My only gripe if I have one is that Wahlberg seemed older than he actually is in real life. I think he's really become a dad type even if his contemporaries still play "guys". That happened to Denzel Washington early in his career too, for me. So I don't really think the age difference between he and Kunis would matter on paper but they did seem to be from two different generations. Otherwise, I liked it and it's weird because I'm from Massachusetts, am still afraid of thunder and lightning and love FLASH GORDON. I thought it was just me.
June 29, 2012, 10:56 p.m. CST
Once they're adults, the fact that Ted is a bear doesn't even matter. There's a few jokes that rely on him being stuffed, but you could have had a human in this role and it would have played basically the same. You set up Ted as a child star but there's nothing in the story that plays with that. Lots of shot of Ted getting high. Lots of 80's references. Lots of dirty or racist jokes. Lots of silence from the audience. Just watch 3 episodes of Tosh.0 and you'll laugh harder and get basically the same material.
June 29, 2012, 11:47 p.m. CST
June 30, 2012, 12:29 a.m. CST
Just now learned (thanks to this talkback) about McFarlane's involvement with Carl Sagan's papers being donated to the Library of Congress.
I will see the movie because of that alone.
June 30, 2012, 1:08 a.m. CST
Movie looks terrrrrible.
June 30, 2012, 1:51 a.m. CST
But it's not very good either. There are two reasons to see this. 1) The special effects are actually kind of amazing. Way better than you would expect for something like this. 2) Mark Wahlberg is comedy gold. Seriously, that guy is an untapped comedic genius, with flawless delivery and perfect timing. As for the rest of the movie, it's just the usual Family Guy schtick, now with added swearing. All of the humor is either based on out-of-nowhere randomness, or crude shock value. For a minute there, it looked like it was going to go somewhere interesting with the ending, but in the end nobody changes or learns anything, so the story has no reason to exist.
June 30, 2012, 5:52 a.m. CST
by Anthony Torchia
so I do not finger her. I'm not as fond of my dog however ... anyway, 2/3 on Rotten Tomatoes is actually pretty good, lots of folks don't get Seth's humor, I'm actually surprised 68% did
June 30, 2012, 8:38 a.m. CST
But American Dad is truly inspired. Give it a shot. I might actually go see Ted at...The Movies.
June 30, 2012, 8:42 a.m. CST
None of you elitist nerds watch it, you don't deserve it.
June 30, 2012, 8:47 a.m. CST
by Chris Sorrentino
...Yeah, Family Guy and American Dad can definitely be hilarious at times, but it is such cheap joke writing since the actual jokes do not serve to move the narrative of the plot. They are just shoe-horned into the plot. I think I'm gonna pass on Ted for now and just wait for it on Netflix (like I did with the Tim and Eric movie, and thankfully so...).
June 30, 2012, 8:56 a.m. CST
June 30, 2012, 12:19 p.m. CST
... a group of 6. Three were diehard McFarlane fans, the other three had really seen any of his work. I was surprised to see that the three fans didn't enjoy it near as much as those of us who hadn't really watched his other stuff. I thought it was a great movie and the cameos were bad ass! "His hair is parted down the middle!".
June 30, 2012, 12:33 p.m. CST
Yet not on aicn yet: http://garys-movie-thoughts.blogspot.com/
June 30, 2012, 12:34 p.m. CST
by Colin Dent
This is why he gets such a hard time from his countrymen. Personally, I think he's a comedy genius. Yeah the jokes sometimes misfire, and maybe he's a bit near the knuckle, but so fuck! he's good at what he does.
June 30, 2012, 12:35 p.m. CST
In the UK we used to get the cane, slipper, ruler or a slap across the head. I even had the odd clip of the local Policemna for being cheeky. Now kids no they cant be touched or they will sue the teachers so they think they are untouchable and not learn respect and manners.. Bring back Borstols.. Oh and TED looks brilliant..
June 30, 2012, 12:42 p.m. CST
June 30, 2012, 12:46 p.m. CST
I was in tears for some parts. Funny stuff!
June 30, 2012, 12:59 p.m. CST
No, I don't hate him because he's successful. <br><br> No, I don't hate him because I can't take a joke about myself. <br><br> Personally I think it's just because humor is an incredibly subjective thing. And it's okay for people to say 'Eh. Not my cup of tea.' <br><br> I do love the backflips MacFarlane fans do trying to come up with logic for why everyone doesn't lose their mind over MacFarlane. I think it's because deep down they know he comes off...as ever...so slightly...annoying. <br><br> [Spoiler: I do think he's hilarious. And yet...he also seems like that jokey frat-guy buddy of yours who literally thinks there is NO LIMIT to the amount of time he should take up with his awesome jokes. He's the last one at the party, while you check your watch for the 100th time, but he's oblivious to all that because he is *on fire* and just so freakin' funny!! Let's just say I never want to grab a beer with the guy. I doubt you'd get a word in. But I will go see 'Ted'.]
June 30, 2012, 2:02 p.m. CST
I saw this movie!! Loved it! Great comedy and storytelling. 2 things-don't bring up shitty ass rotten tomatos as some of the people that have their reviews posted on rotten tomatos are complete ball lickers. Also, fuck that haters of macfarlane and that
See the movie all your haters. Don't prejudge like I know we all have a tendency to do. See it and post what you think.
June 30, 2012, 2:07 p.m. CST
Are there any jokes in the movie?
June 30, 2012, 2:25 p.m. CST
by jules windex
If you think Family Guy(and Seth's other shows) is just as funny as its ever been, you will find Ted hysterical. I don't. I think FG is nowhere near as funny as its early seasons, that Seth's smugness seeps through too much & that there are long stretches with zero laughs. That happens in Ted too. There are a handful of really funny moments, with tons of long stretches with nothing, and while Seth can get away with bad plotting in a 20 minute show that really damages a 100 minute movie. The last 30 minutes of this are AWFUL. But the big laughs are probably alone worth it. Plus the Norah Jones cameo did it for me, since I find her dreamy.
June 30, 2012, 3:50 p.m. CST
For me it went in all of the right directions, from his childhood, that was told quickly and efficiently, but without making them cookie cutter characters and to making the world so believable that everyone accepted a talking bear in the movie and treated him like a celebrity was really well done. Almost felt like I should've watch Flash Gordon before watching TED, might do it just for fun the 2nd time. Made me and my wife laugh get slightly grossed out in a good way and have a good movie night. Cool to see it do so well at the Box Office. Spoiler: The cocaine scene killed me.
June 30, 2012, 3:57 p.m. CST
'Cause I'd hate to have mixed feelings about that day.
June 30, 2012, 5:21 p.m. CST
And here I thought I wouldn't laugh reading an article about Seth MacFarlane...
June 30, 2012, 7:17 p.m. CST
..is it cuz they're all shit people with no talent or appeal? Maybe, or is it cuz they're all fanboys who got to fuck women waaaaaaay hotter than them? ......I may see this...
June 30, 2012, 7:21 p.m. CST
by Big Dumb Ape
According to Box Office Mojo it made $20 million on Friday. So it won the night, but also opened in 3,200 theaters which is a pretty fucking wide ass release. So the question is will it have any legs across the holiday week or will it just spurt out of the gate THIS weekend and basically make all of it's money from the MacFarlane groupies and teens who go and see whatever shit is out opening weekend, no matter how shitty it is. If I had to take an educated guess, like most people I'd predict it will drop off the map come Tuesday when everyone will want to race out and see SPIDER-MAN as the big Fourth of July movie and as the big community film event, especially on the heels of AVENGERS' success. Saw it today with a buddy. Would agree with others the two best things are Wahlberg, who shows he's got an absolutely fantastic ability to do earnest, deadpan comedy. The one thought that struck me afterwards is that if his movie career ever goes off the rails, he'll instantly land on his feet starring in some standard, canned laughter CBS TV sitcom. The second best thing was the SFX work. That crew definitely earned their paycheck. As for the movie itself, I thought it was very uneven. Long stretches where I was more taken by the SFX rather than actually aughing at anything said or done onscreen. It certainly is not "all that" as some of the MacFarlane groupies are making out. If anything, it suffered the ultimate bad review of finding yourself checking your watch about midway through. As for whether or not you'll like this thing, it simply comes down to whether or not you like MacFarlane's style of humor. Personally, I find the guy to be an arrogant cock and his humor simply reflects that. To that end, I actually agree with Dolphins in the Jacuzzi that MacFarlane's style of humor always comes with a sort of mean-spirited "picking on the weak" attitude. That's not to say I think all humor has to be politically correct all of the time -- far from it. Hey, I like a good low-brow, belly laugh from time to time like anyone else. However, my complaint is that MacFarlane's style of humor is to just beat you over the head with his snarkiness constantly... to rub your face in it... which quickly becomes tiresome, then a turn-off, and finally boring. And worst of all, as other have noted when criticizing MacFarlance, structurally it never feels like he's naturally building TO a joke. Too often it just seems like he wanted to ram a foul joke in...something that just singularly struck him funny...at which point he writes AROUND the joke, looking for a way -- any way -- to shoe horn it in. Which is why MacFarlane's style of humor seems less like someone saying "Hey, let's all share a laugh together" and more like an arrogant cock saying "I'm gonna pick on you because it will make ME laugh. So suck it, asshole." Ultimately, Drave117 is right that this is just the same old Family Guy crap with R-rated swearing tossed in. TangCameo is also right that it suffers from the cliched MacFarlance formula of wisecracking smaller companion, only now it's been blown up for the big screen. In fact, speaking to that point, I think the movie would have definitely benefited from having someone else voice Ted because it really has reached the point where all of MacFarlane's voices are blurring together. And finally both Drave and Jules Windex are right that the last half hour REALLY drags, only to reach an ending that goes totally nowhere with all the main characters. Which means by the time the lights come up, you're sitting there thinking "Wait, that's it?" Bottom line: you won't lose anything -- in fact you'll save 10 or 12 bucks -- by waiting for this to hit HBO or Netflix. Because it's exactly the kind of "meh" average movie that you get HBO or Netflix for.
June 30, 2012, 9:24 p.m. CST
I am by no means a Seth hater. I have been known to laugh at Family Guy, and I did laugh at plenty of the jokes in Ted, but a truly great comedic film needs to be more than just a string of one-liners. All the individual laughs in the world don't make a movie a classic if we don't care about the characters, and it's hard to care about the characters when all the jokes are interchangeable and all the principle characters are in the same place (in all senses of the word) at the end that they were at the beginning. It becomes the cinematic equivalent of watching one of those "x jokes in x minutes" videos on YouTube. I would like to see Macfarlane set his goals a little higher than that. Even lopping off the last couple minutes of the film and ending it in a darker place would have made for something much more interesting.
June 30, 2012, 10:57 p.m. CST
by Obi Wanna Cannoli
That to me is proof alone of a successful comedy. McFarlane is funny as hell so I agree with jolliff89...fuck you guys! IMHO :)
June 30, 2012, 11:01 p.m. CST
by Obi Wanna Cannoli
I don't think I have ever seen one man write so much text about another man he hates. You think HE is arrogant? God, don't even watch Don Rickles standup then. You might be too offended.
July 1, 2012, 2:23 a.m. CST
I am also glad, as that would make 911 a real tragedy. *see what I did there douchebag?*
July 1, 2012, 5:29 a.m. CST
No what makes you a moron is saying "I don't care what the "critics" say. I like plenty of movies that they all hate." The critical consensus on RT indicates what a lot of smart people think about a movie...people who can actually express coherent thoughts with the written word. Sure they aren't all smart, but the avg IQ of movie reviewers is almost certainly higher than 100. So it's a reflection of what some smart people think and I don't care that you liked Transformers 2 or some other shitty film. Most of the time the crap movies get low Tomatometer scores and the better movies get higher ones. That is why it is worth referring to from time to time.
July 1, 2012, 5:30 a.m. CST
Not 90%, not 80%...69%. That says a lot ..doesn't say everything but says a lot and I will wait for this on video and fast-forward through it if it is not funny.
July 1, 2012, 7 a.m. CST
It's funny. Everyone watching seemed to have a good time. 90% of the funniest stuff is in the trailers, with the exception of the cameo (don't want to spoil). There were a couple of times when "jokes" hit they fell 100% flat. Other jokes took a long loooooooooong walk to get to the worth chuckle punchline. Rent it. But see it.
July 1, 2012, 7:49 a.m. CST
by I am_NOTREAL
For some time its success made me cringe, but now it's just one of those cultural phenomena that baffles me for a moment before I move on to something else. Yet I find Ted intriguing...most likely due to Whalberg and Kunis.
July 1, 2012, 8:38 a.m. CST
over 50 million opening weekend. Broke The Hangover';s record for an R-rated comedy.
July 1, 2012, 10:09 a.m. CST
by Obi Wanna Cannoli
This is not a perfect movie but to really believe that the majority of the critics on RT somehow are more trained and gifted at reviewing a movie is funny. Film school? If they were so good at how a great movie is constructed then why are they film critics? Here are some top notch comments from these "experts" "Ted" is so lazy you want to kick the stuffing out of it. - Tom Long "Duck Dong" Detroit News who was too lazy to put more thought into his review. MacFarlane throws everything against the wall to get a laugh or two, but most of the bits fail to stick. - Ozus' World Movie Reviews who saw the movie in a theater full of deaf people. The plot is simply a shaky frame on which to hang drug and sex jokes and numerous pop-culture references.- Joe Holleman St. Louis Post-Dispatch who must never have watched Family Guy since it is not on the Christian station in St Louis. Co-writer-director McFarlane is a funny guy, but his barbed humor here rests on the same generic, boy-meets-girl, bed-of-roses conceit as too many romantic comedies to count. - Duane Dudek Milwaukee Journal Sentinel who came into the theater hoping it would be a tragic hero story. Ted is, no matter how you stuff it, yet another man-child buddy movie -- and all that that implies. - Marc Savlov Austin Chronicle and well known expert on the implications of man-child relationships Like "Family Guy," "Ted" is only about its own hyperlinked pop culture references. - Michael Phillips Chicago Tribune. You know the other Chicago film critic always overshadowed by Ebert. He is just pissed HE is not a pop culture reference.
July 1, 2012, 11:20 a.m. CST
It's a halfway decent way to kill an afternoon or evening (one Canadian network uses FG like polyfilla to fill the aint-got-no-money-to-produce-programming canyons of its weekend daytime lineup). And once in a while they do manage to hit one out of the park, but then there are so many WTFNSWTF moments where the show out-nihilisms its own nihilistic comedy (saw the elf arm, Brian's 'shroom dream, Brian eating Stewie's shit). And some of the ethnic jokes are more offensive than funny - enough that you wonder if the writers of different ethnicities on the show consider it a flame/asskissing competition, insulting each other to see who can make McFarlane laugh the hardest. If FG ever does a third Viewer Mail show (has there only been 2?) I'd challenge the writers to come up with a story where instead of pop culture references and ethnic cheap shots, all the jokes are aimed at Seth McFarlane. Just have the writers unload everything on him. From good jokes, to cheap shots, to WTF moments, all about Seth.
July 1, 2012, 12:04 p.m. CST
by Starship Captain
Took my girlfriend to see it last night because it was something we could agree on. I was in the mood for a comedy and she thought it looked cute. Wouldn't say it completely sucked, but it wasn't good either. The people posting who say save your money for a Netfilx rental have it right. As for you MacFarlane ass kissers, get over it already. Learn to deal with the fact that everyone refuses to bow down before your god. Guess what? Your lives will go on. Shit, Obiwanna is apparently so pissed that everyone isn't sucking MacFarlane's dick that he's extracting lines from B or C-level critics reviews in regional papers to support his ridiculous argument that anyone who doesn't love this thing can't possibly be a real critic. Fuck, you MacFarlane ass kissers are the ones lacking critical ability or taste since you're willing to embrace anything he shits out his ass.
July 1, 2012, 4:42 p.m. CST
by Obi Wanna Cannoli
MacFarlane can fight his own battles and gets paid waaaaaaaaay more than any of us. If he paid me I would possibly wipe and kiss his ass. Problem is you just don't have a sense of humor and do not understand the argument in a post. My argument in the post was that film critics are not gods with some PhD intellect and can extract the elements of what makes funny from any comedy. I don't really care about MacFarlane one way or the other unless he pays me (see above). Now my example of B rate critics (actually a few are top critics) was not serious. I guess saying something like "Marc Savlov Austin Chronicle and well known expert on the implications of man-child relationships" is something you would consider reading in a serious debate. Here is a quarter and some :) :) :) for ya!
July 2, 2012, 12:55 a.m. CST
So I don't get people who say their theaters were silent most of the time - are you guys some sort of "anti-plant", people planted in here to just post fake bad things about the movie? Or do people in Seattle have a different sense of humor from the rest of the country? I mean, I can understand someone not finding it funny, but if 9 out of 10 people at my theater were laughing, how could it be that much different elsewhere? I guess maybe some extremely strict traditional religious area or something... BTW prndlgirl, if you read this, you obviously didn't actually get any of the jokes of either the movie or Family Guy if you thought all of those things were the jokes. You really thought just listing female names was a joke in Family Guy? The joke was how many songs were about a specific female. And "stroke voice and face" wasn't the joke in this movie, the joke was what was being said at the time, and right after. And the "duck fight" wasn't a chicken-fight - if you've ever watched Family Guy, you'd know that the point of the chicken fight is to make fun of very long fist-fights in action movies, of which none of those elements were in the duck fight in this movie. Just because it's a bird, you think it's the same joke? Oh, and for the record, I *hate* American Dad, and always thought it felt like Family Guy but forced and unfunny.
July 2, 2012, 8:57 a.m. CST
July 2, 2012, 8:58 a.m. CST
July 2, 2012, 1:16 p.m. CST
It came out two years ago and was in development long before that. Featured an "adult" teddy bear.
July 2, 2012, 3:50 p.m. CST
I wonder if Marky Mark ever bought Thanh Lam a new eyeball, after blinding him in one eye. Or given him a couple million bucks.
'cause he owes him the value of an eyeball, or half a man's eyesight. Whatever that is worth, if he hasn't taken care of Thanh Lam after ruining his life by blinding him in one eye because he was a young arrogant racist prick who only did 45 days in jail for it, then he is still a prick.
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