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John Ary On ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER!!
John Ary here with a look at Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
Simply put, it’s a lot of fun. Prepare to turn your brain off, enjoy some dark bloody kills and take in a history lesson that will undoubtedly get some very impressionable children in trouble with their teachers at school. Sure it has some problems, but few vampire beat’em-ups are this enjoyable.
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Readers Talkback
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You guys have fun.
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June 21, 2012, 6:18 p.m. CST
something based of a fairly intelligent book should not be a 'Prepare to turn your brain off' movie
by zom-bot.com
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But with the last 5 years or so being completely overly-saturated with vamp movies and tv shows (most of them sub-par chick-flicks), I've been completely turned off. No interest in this. I would've probably checked it out a few years back, but not anymore. So, why am I posting if I "don't care"? See, that's just it. I *do* care. I wish I wanted to see this. I think it sucks Hollywood has overused vampires so much that I no longer want to see *any*thing including them. =\
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June 21, 2012, 6:46 p.m. CST
So, you're suggesting a movie that has Abe Lincoln fighting vampires...
by schadenfreudian
ISN'T historically accurate?
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That's what I thought.
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The special effects look absolutely fucking awful and I never thought I'd be seeing Abraham Lincoln in bullet time. I was excited to see this until I saw the trailer for it.. wow. Not what I envisioned. No longer interested. Goodbye.
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June 21, 2012, 7:28 p.m. CST
Wait...wait...this ISN'T HISTORICALLY ACCURATE?!! Fuck this shit.
by Chris
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The Rock is upset about this: http://youtu.be/kVVgYSqtzGo Rock and Dust at the Flix
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June 21, 2012, 8:08 p.m. CST
First kids are told Abe is gay and now he kills vampires?
by Obi Wanna Cannoli
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June 21, 2012, 8:31 p.m. CST
Avry seems like a nice guy in the polite, unassuming NPR kind of way and the Kidd is...well...the Kidd
by P
But neither bring any personality or voice to this site. None. There are more engaging and colorful observations from any given talkbacker on any given day. Period. I don't care if I agree with their tastes or not. That's never been important to me. But give me some personality. A perspective. Something. Anything. Oh well. There's always the talkbackers to keep things lively.
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June 21, 2012, 8:40 p.m. CST
Wow. I just realized John Ary looks looks exactly like MOBY.
by Cureguy
Very disturbing.
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June 21, 2012, 8:58 p.m. CST
The book was historically accurate if the movie isn't they ruined what made it good
by Batmangelo
And I agree with zombot it shouldn't be that type of movie I'm probably gonna regret seeing this now
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It comes across bad. It suggests there's no reflection or post movie processing. Of course you didn't just do that off the cuff or very shortly after leaving the screening. So why use it?
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I really do it that way. I bring my camera to every screening. Afterwards I give it a few minutes, scribble down my thoughts and then I get to work.
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How do I know that I'm not Moby? Disturbing indeed!
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June 21, 2012, 9:41 p.m. CST
johnary is not a critic, so perhaps I've been too harsh at judging him by that standard
by P
He makes agreeable, middle-of-the road filler content for an undemanding audience. And he does it very well. Believe me: what comes across as casual and conversational could be a blabbering mess in less deft hands. But it is safe and it is playing defense. By not being too intellectual or too passionate (both of which invite criticism) it ends end being not much at all. A low bar, everyman Entertainment Tonight snippet for an undemanding, instant gratification audience. If this were meant to be taken seriously, I'd say it's part of the dumbing down of film criticism. But it's not film criticism. Is it John??
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I like to watch movies and then talk about them on video. That about sums it up. I agree with you that my style is far from intellectual, but it's difficult to do this sort of thing on a weekly basis without any passion. I would rather be seen as a guy who likes to chat about films than a critic. I appreciate the feedback.
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The only good vampire is a dead vampire!
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I know it's bad. But sometimes you have to say fuck it. The more I hear and read about this the more it reminds me of movies like Dr. Jekyll & Sister Hyde minus the sex. In that it incorporated elements of real life murderers like Burke & Hare and Jack the Ripper inside the story of Jekyll and Hyde and that's also played straight. It's a B-movie sure but does everything have to be Academy Award worthy fare?
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June 22, 2012, 12:03 a.m. CST
There is probably more historical fact in ths movie than whats in Obama's own memoir.
by Supermans
If Obama had been watching this movie during the time he was writing his memoirs, I think he would have offed a vampire or two by chapter 2.
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June 22, 2012, 12:27 a.m. CST
WHY DO WE HAVE TO TURN OUR BRAINS OFF IN ORDER TO ENJOY A MOVIE?
by Wacky Packages
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June 22, 2012, 12:28 a.m. CST
THIS SEEMS TO BE A PREREQUISITE TO ENJOYING MOST MOVIES TODAY.
by Wacky Packages
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BOMB.
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June 22, 2012, 5:44 a.m. CST
Ya know, I'm dying for someone to actually say "Prepare to turn your brain ON for this movie!"
by Mrhazard
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June 22, 2012, 5:58 a.m. CST
You didn't know that an axe is a good weapon for killing vampires?
by buggerbugger
It's one of the oldest known factoids about vampire killing: After you stake them, you decapitate them to make sure they stay dead in their coffins. You're not going to do much decapitatin' with a wooden stake.
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I guess it's a compliment then that it doesn't sound like you're doing it that way. I still will point out though, the notion of you doing that, may come across like you've pre-planned your review. Not necessarily in this case. Just trying to be helpful. Not trying to be a hater. You're much much better than that Kidd guy.
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I appreciate the feedback. No haterism taken.
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