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UPDATE!!! G.I. JOE: RETALIATION Delayed Nine Months...Thanks To A Force More Sinister Than Cobra!!

Per THIS piece over at Deadline...

Paramount is moving the movie nine months to March 29, 2013, to add 3D. “We’re going to do a conscientious 3D job because we’ve seen how it can better box office internationally,” one of the studio execs just told me. “Jim Cameron did all of Titanic‘s 3D in post – and look how well that movie turned out.” 

[EDIT]

Also the execs say that the blockbuster performance of The Hunger Games shows that March can be a prime time of the year to release movies.

As someone who goes out of my way to AVOID seeing movies in distracting, eye straining, often inconsistent 3D...I can't say this news fills me with any level of awesome whatsoever.  Perhaps this means  Paul Fusco's ALF movie can be 3D, too.  And cats can repeatedly run out of the screen to avoid becoming Gordon's dinner.  Which, as much as I dislike 3D, might actually be kinda funny...

Thanks to @Robogeek for the heads up! 

UPDATE: For those of you curious as to what might take G.I. JOE's slot on the summer slate, Universal has moved Seth MacFarlane's feature film directorial debut TED up from its July 13 release date to fill the June 29 void. 

 

__________

Glen Oliver

"Merrick" 

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  • May 23, 2012, 4:01 p.m. CST

    test

    by xega

    test

  • May 23, 2012, 4:02 p.m. CST

    First...

    by Spacelab

    ....to point out that in the long run, this will not matter. The delay, the movie...it is all without consequence.

  • Spoken like a true patron of the arts. Okay, I realize studio execs are mindless zombies who only base their decisions on charts and I couldn't give a shit about GI Joe but could you suits at least try to make a public face that isn't so Goddamned cynical?

  • May 23, 2012, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Just don't release it at all.

    by Yelsaeb

    I doubt anybody would care.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:10 p.m. CST

    I was actually looking forward to this one

    by Terrence

    Mostly because of the tonal shift from the previous movie, and actually seeing a live action Cobra Commander onscreen in the actual garb.

  • Yeah, like a G.I. Joe movie is of the same caliber as fucking TITANIC. hahaha X infinity

  • May 23, 2012, 4:10 p.m. CST

    We are living in a post-Avengers world.

    by godofatheists

  • May 23, 2012, 4:10 p.m. CST

    *&%€¥!!!

    by Brian Mullett

    Bullshit! They made secent movie I want to see, get me hyped up about it, then pull it til March?!? All in the hopes of grabbing a couple extra 3D dollars?That's movie blue balls and I refuse to negotiate with terrorists.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:12 p.m. CST

    Al Kohal

    by Jon

    So basically they are throwing away whatever amount of goodwill that the trailers were giving it in order to post convert it to 3d, which most people try and avoid....fucking morons. No wonder battleshit sunk. They are going to lose any interest this movie had over the next 9 months. People who don't read sites like this are going to be confused as to why the movie never came out, and just attribute it to sucking.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:12 p.m. CST

    Dumb…

    by Tarijeno

    I wish studios would at least lie when they pull shit like this. I wish they'd have an excuse like, "Oh, we came up with a new ending that's just going to make the movie a trillion times better" instead of "Our bean counters say we'll make a lot more money if the movie has a crappy 3D conversion which we can pass along to the consumer." And it's just goddamn stupid to pull a movie within a month of its release simply to add a feature that most people hate.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Meh

    by jemagee

    this is the beginning of this movie not being released...post avengers world - wtf does that mean - 3d adds nothing to STORY - which drives movies

  • May 23, 2012, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Fuck 3-D

    by landosystem

    That is all

  • May 23, 2012, 4:13 p.m. CST

    PR SPIN AT IT'S BEST...

    by Finn

    This smells more like PR spin than anything. I mean, they obviously want to convert it to 3D to serve the movie better, and not make more of a buck out of you and me right? But seriously, pulling a summer blockbuster from the line-up after spending all those marketing dollars (which will have to be re-spent to remind us of the project again) simply means this movie is most likely a dud that can't compete in a summer of really good moviefare.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Embarrassing...anything to screw a few dollars more :s

    by marineboy

  • May 23, 2012, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Can they add plot, drama and heart in post, too?

    by Tony

    From what I've seen - it appears to be lacking. Titanic, however, wasn't. Not really a great choice for a comparison. That's why you don't leave cinematic choices in the hands of accountants. "If we add 3D, then we'll have a big blockbuster too!" Instead, you should dig deep into an established brand and deliver a REAL movie worthy of carrying the title it represents. Marvel seems to be the only studio that can do that.

  • I vote Clash... Jim's not involved.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Hunger Games wasn't 3D, Paramount.

    by Tarijeno

    It's kind of stupid to cite that film as being a mega-success, while simultaneously implying that 3D movies are the only movies that make money…

  • Let's be real, with The Avengers, Spider-Man, & The Dark Knight Rises. Was anyone excited to see the sequel to the awful G.I. Joe rise of Cobra? .... .... I didn't think so. Now don't get me wrong I think this looks leaps and bounds better than the first. Especially with the inclusion of The Rock, but still I was gonna catch this from the Red Box.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:16 p.m. CST

    "Most people try to avoid" 3-D?

    by rev_skarekroe

    If that were true they wouldn't do it. "Most people" will pay the extra dough for 3-D whether it looks right or not. Because as dumb as the average person is, half the population is even dumber.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:17 p.m. CST

    But honestly....

    by GlyphGuy

    If Paramount would have just released it in 3D, it wouldn't be criticized, other than to say it is not a good movie to begin with. I just find it silly to have to state the obvious by going out of your way to compare it to one of the greatest box office hits of all time. Comparing this movie in any way, shape, or form to Titanic is like a general manager telling your fan baseball fan base that we are going to turn one of our mediocre pitching prospects into a hitter because that's what the Red Sox did to Babe Ruth, and that turned out pretty well.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:17 p.m. CST

    Wellll.thats some bullshit.

    by Jobacca

    How much you wanna bet the movie stinks,and they're planning to dump it in March? Shame as I was actually looking fwd. to seeing this this summer. Oh well....more money for THE AVENGERS.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Seemed like this movie was generating some good

    by Chris

    buzz, must be a disaster of Titanic proportions to be pushed back all the way until next year..

  • May 23, 2012, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Could've been worse...

    by Chris

    It could've been Prometheus being pushed back

  • May 23, 2012, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Really dumb move.

    by DARTHpatel

    I was actually looking forward to seeing this despite not loving the last one. I used to watch every summer movie that came out up till last year. Now I have a kid and really need to pick and choose. For this summer my list basically was avengers, dark knight rises, Prometheus, and gi Joe. I wasn't even going to see spiderman. Now that they have pulled this stunt, there is no way I give them my money. I'll be picking this up from the dollar red box in the future. Stupid hollywood suits!

  • May 23, 2012, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Will Smith talking about MiB3 and 3D

    by Mugato5150

    "So there are two ways to do 3D, shoot with 3D cameras or convert it to 3D in post but the 3D cameras were big and bulky so we did it in post and it looks great!" sigh

  • Sure, that's one example. On the other hand, the performance of John Carter shows that March (Break) can be a terrible time of the year to release movies.

  • They saw that Titanic, a real-life event with a fictional love-story at its center, made a billion $ at the box office. They figured if they made the love-story a love-triangle, Pearl Harbor would make 3 times as much money.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:23 p.m. CST

    kryzbeqistan

    by Brian Mullett

    True story! You just made me feel better about this whole shit sandwhich by reminding me about Prometheus. Thank you, good sir.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:24 p.m. CST

    This is a market saturation move. They can't compete.

    by Pixelsmack

    They know they will make more later not going up against an already busy pre-summer/summer schedule. It's always about money. The 3D is just icing on the cake for them. Gave them the excuse they needed to admit it's too dangerous to release in summer, financially.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:26 p.m. CST

    I'm shocked

    by syn_flood

    No really I am. Stop looking at me like that!

  • May 23, 2012, 4:26 p.m. CST

    c'mon guys

    by Monnie Knapp

    This film is gonna be shit, 3d or no, no matter when it is released.

  • why not do the same thing? Release the movie this Summer in 2D, then re-release it next year in 3D.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Who can we complain to?

    by Ninjamime

    Anyone have connections at Paramount? I want to watch this movie this June not March 2013. By then I’ll just skip it. there has to be a number or e-mail we can blow up.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Wish this had happened to

    by Chris

    The Amazing-ly Pointless Spiderman sequel instead.

  • GI:Joe 2 is an unnecessary sequel to a movie that got a mediocre response from fans and critics alike. Paramount will be lucky if people remember this movie in 9 months. Just stupid strategy on Paramount's part....

  • May 23, 2012, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Meh

    by mukhtabi

    the only films I had plans for this summer are Moonrise Kingdom, Prometheus, Brave, The Dark Knight Rises. Oh and maybe that new Bourne film. Mayyyyyyybe... Considering how much Two tickets (me and the gf) for The Dark Knight rises in IMAX is gonna run me. They need to pay must film geeks more money, if they want more money at the box office. Oh well... Anyway, GI Joe is not on the radar after that first installment. Not interested.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Follywood

    by Kevin

    BS.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:31 p.m. CST

    This does not bode well

    by seagrass

    I hope someone gets fired over this. How much money did Paramount pump into the ad campaign up until now? What a fucking waste of money and time. That studio line about 3D is complete bullshit, too. I also don't buy the "Battleship tanked" line of thinking... aside from it being utter crap, Battleship was severely lacking in star power (sorry, Liam). Retaliation has The Rock and Bruce Willis, which is enough to guarantee a solid opening (even if the movie sucks). Paramount either has zero faith in the film and are wanting massive reshoots (the most likely scenario), or they believe it will do well no matter when it's released and just want to pad the Box Office with 3D sales. Complete and utter studio fuckery.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:32 p.m. CST

    This has been debunked as a rumor

    by RedBull_Werewolf

    Settle down guys, the movie is out in 4 weeks as planned.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:33 p.m. CST

    This is beyond stupid

    by chad kuhns

    So, a movie that already has full fledged trailers and television spots, thus generating fan buzz, is being pulled and pushed back, so that it can be given post conversion 3D? This just goes to show you fundamentally stupid the film industry has become. The money they've already spent on promoting the film, plus the films budget, aren't going to be made up by spending more to convert it to 3D, and then having to completely re-market the film. I was honestly hoping this would be a great movie, and success at the box office, not I'm hoping it's a great movie and a total box office bomb, to teach these stupid fucks a lesson in common sense.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Wasn't good enough to stand up against the competition

    by Cedric Ford

  • May 23, 2012, 4:37 p.m. CST

    What a load of Banther fodder!

    by Kakii

    Last year it was reported that movies goers where choosing 2D versions over 3D by 60% Theres not been any good post conversions, dammed what anyone thinks, but if Lucas cant do it, it aint gonna happen! In fact I've only seen 3 good 3D movies although that's not the right expression as Avatar sucked, but Avatar, Toy Story 3 and John Carter have been the only ones I thought had cool 3D. The Avengers wasn't a bad attempt, but still wasnt good enough as the fight scenes became blurred. Post fucking conversion just doesn't work, Hollywood needs to realise that, doing shit post 3D conversions put the movie goer off seeing 3D in general so it will end up failing at this rate. I thought GI Joe was entertaining and this looked a lot better, now we have to wait till next March! Bullshit theres somethimg fishier than a $5 whore going on. I really cant believe theyre doing this just for 3D unless they put a 3 year old in charge!

  • May 23, 2012, 4:37 p.m. CST

    I don't get it. Battleship did well internationally, bombed in US (not 3D)

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Ghost Rider 3D bombed in both markets.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:38 p.m. CST

    i will never watch a 3d film

    by Waka_Flocka

  • May 23, 2012, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Don't worry, we'll get our ninja mountain battles

    by Chris

    but first we have to get through another boring origin story for Spiderman (sorry, it's hard to be optomistic about this new one)

  • May 23, 2012, 4:40 p.m. CST

    I finally get COBRA and this happens?!!?!?!!??!?!?!

    by whatevillurks

  • re: "... plus the films budget, aren't going to be made up by spending more to convert it to 3D, and then having to completely re-market the film." Don't forget the loss of Box Office going from a June (Summer) release to a March release. The Hunger Games was an exception, not the rule.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:43 p.m. CST

    It seems like a smart move, to be honest.

    by jimmy

    With Avengers , Dark Knight and Spiderman , MiB 3 ,they would've probably gone unnoticed. Moving it to a quieter time of year is better, for them.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:43 p.m. CST

    CONDOLENCES, MERRICK

    by victor laszlo

    ...that you either do not have a decent 3D theatre nearby, or that your cerebral cortex and visual acuity simply cannot handle the increased influx of data in a stereoscopic motion picture. You are really missing out.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:45 p.m. CST

    They really should've announced this move 6 months ago...

    by Tarijeno

    Paramount knew about TDKR, Amazing Spider-man, Avengers, Prometheus, and every other movie's release schedule this summer since 2010....

  • and look how that movie turned out.

  • May 23, 2012, 4:56 p.m. CST

    My fortune cookie says....

    by BartReviews

    That the execs are hoping that they can get the movie included as part of the recent "deal" with the Chinese. Good thing none of the bad guys are from Beijing.... http://articles.cnn.com/2012-02-21/entertainment/showbiz_china-us-film_1_chinese-films-finest-films-chinese-audiences?_s=PM:SHOWBIZ

  • May 23, 2012, 4:58 p.m. CST

    redbull_werewolf: do you have proof

    by seagrass

    that this has been debunked?

  • Seriously, 9 months? With 3D that takes that long, it better be so good that i walk out of the theatre bloodied and bruised!

  • May 23, 2012, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Paramount wishes they had distributed Avengers after all.

    by tomandshell

  • May 23, 2012, 5:02 p.m. CST

    Several posters here already nailed it: they're chicken

    by Evil Sean

    They saw what Avengers did to Battleship in it's 3rd week of release and are terrified (correctly) that Prometheus will probably be going Avengers strong internationally when they open (especially in early pre-US weeks) and then looked realized Spider-Man opens in the US the following week. Most moviegoers will simply assume that it stinks to high heaven and won't see it in March, either.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:04 p.m. CST

    BATTLESHIP SUNK! Paramount is in full on financial mode.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    G.I. JOE would have done well for one weekend, then it had to face Spider-Man and Brave. This was a smart move by Paramount. Write off 2012 as a loss. Focus on 2013. Green light another G.I.Joe movie immediately and get it into theaters for 2014. Keep G.I. Joe in the public consciousness year after year and people will continue to pay to see it. The ball is in Paramount's court, but I don't think they have the balls to truly play it that way.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:09 p.m. CST

    That's a fuck up on a massive scale

    by alienindisguise

    A lot were liking the trailers and when next year rolls around no one will give a shit. Way to fuck yourselves.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:10 p.m. CST

    Wait, is this a rumor? Is it true? Interweb hurts my brain. :(

    by Tikidonkeypunch

  • What do they do? Run another one in February that says "Seriously, we mean it this time."

  • May 23, 2012, 5:11 p.m. CST

    LIES, A BUNCH OF FUCKING LIES, THEY ARE LYING TO YOU ALL!!!

    by Norman Colson

    We all know why they moved the movie back to next year, they couldnt face the competition! Which is bullshit, the movie would have done just fine. The first to me was popcorn flick fun, they could have just ran with it!!!! moved it til the end of august and kept it moving!!!! NO ONE LIKE THE 3D DUMB FUCKS I STILL WONT PAY FOR IT. MARK MY WORDS SOMEONE WILL LEAK THIS MOVIE ANYWAYS. IT'S ALREADY COMPLETED!!!!

  • May 23, 2012, 5:13 p.m. CST

    It's like polishing a turd

    by rakesh patel

  • May 23, 2012, 5:15 p.m. CST

    It's all about retarded execs

    by alienindisguise

    always citing flimsy examples for why they should do the stupid shit they do.

  • He seemed to be bringing just the edge it needed while still keeping it fun. Hopefully the truth comes out.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:15 p.m. CST

    While Ghost Rider 3D was obviously terrible...

    by TheMark

    ...the 3D post conversion was EXCELLENT, thanks mostly to a device (whose name escapes me) that measures Z-axis information in front of the camera lens that Neveldine/Taylor used on the film that they could shoot with almost ANY camera and they would still have pretty perfect 3D data to build a kick-ass post-converted 3D landscape. I seriously doubt that piece of equipment was TOO expensive as I can only imagine that Ghost Rider didn't have much of a budget. Ok, after looking this up, it's called a Civetta. Here's the link: http://www.wired.com/underwire/2012/02/rise-of-3-d-conversion/

  • Then anticipation for this one would have been through the roof

  • As in, it sucks.

  • Which is now going to have a SIXTH, 6 minute preview before midnight shows of MIB3. I'm sure the preview will blow just like the last 5 and at this rate they will then have an 8 minute preview before Snow White & The Huntsman and a 10 minute one before Prometheus and were probably planning a fucking 30 minute one before GI Joe. This excessive over-marketing of TASM is comical and desperate as hell but maybe itll marginally pay off with Retaliation out of the way. Maybe it was delayed to do more reshoots with Tatum and so Charlie Adler can voice Cobra Commander.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:19 p.m. CST

    Maybe they're planning on killing Bruce Willis?

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    Get a Heath Ledger upkick next year.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:21 p.m. CST

    Too many AAA movies this summer/year.

    by daglesj

    So this movie will just get lost in the mass of more anticipated movies going on. That and as already mentioned it gives them the chance to do some disaster recovery reshoots to up the ante or change any elements that may have looked like copying the Avengers movie. This year will be tough for anything less than AAA. Going to the movies is expensive and folks are far more choosy about what they go see. Say the average family goes 5 times a year, chances are the execs have realised that G.I. Joe isn't going to get lucky in that ration.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:23 p.m. CST

    9 months to add one more D? Hahahahahaha idiots

    by Chaz

  • May 23, 2012, 5:25 p.m. CST

    Postponing what is sure to be ass anyway

    by donkingkong

    Huge Joe nut as a kid, but first movie blew so hard I don't think you could possibly lure me back no matta.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:29 p.m. CST

    What the fuck?

    by TheMcflyFarm

    Why push a movie, they've been excessively advertising for and that was supposed to be released in a month from now, to almost a year away??? I don't see this as an effective way of making more money, especially when by that point people may finally be sick of 3D.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:29 p.m. CST

    There is a nugget of truth in the suit's bullshit rap

    by Mugato5150

    The Hunger Games wouldn't have been #1 for 4 weeks in a row if it were released in June. Its competition was basically John Carter and that's it. I'm not saying it wouldn't have been a hit either way but if it was released in the summer it would have been buried. Not as buried as Battleship but a little buried. The idea that all big movies have to be released in the summer or a couple in winter is outdated because of the sheer volume of big ass movies that come out each year.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:32 p.m. CST

    LOL... can you imagine the sheer outrage if batman was pushed back!?

    by Norman Colson

  • May 23, 2012, 5:32 p.m. CST

    this is the worst thing ive heard in like a month

    by jsfithaca

    literally the biggest fuck you to everyone everywhere. this actually looks so awesome and fuck everything

  • May 23, 2012, 5:33 p.m. CST

    I'm seeing it in 2D! Pathetic...

    by Andrew Coleman

    I'm seeing it for Cobra Commander this is the tone they should have started with... But fuck you I'm not seeing it in 3D. I'll wait for Blu Ray if I have to.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:33 p.m. CST

    This will def get leaked in an HQ version on Pirate Bay

    by Russell

    Because the digital projection version definitely exists by now and this may end up being the most pirated movie of all time just as a major fuck you to Paramount on general principle. Also after A Good Day To Die Hard sucks and bombs in Feb, most male filmgoers are not going to turn around and see another potential Willis shitfest a month later.

  • At the theatre I go to the big room rocks for 3d The smaller ones suck. bad 3d is dark out of focus.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:40 p.m. CST

    The 3d in Titanic sucked!

    by mdk

    Because it wasn't designed or shot to BE in 3d! Asshole suits.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:45 p.m. CST

    actually jk

    by jsfithaca

    quints mixed review of killing them softly is the worst thing ive heard in a month now.

  • May 23, 2012, 5:45 p.m. CST

    Titanic is a piece of shit

    by medster101

    Shit film from a director who lost his touch after T2. Want more examples? Just check out the trash that was Avatard. And TASM is a completely unneccessary film. It looks like utter shit too. Would have rather seen GI joe

  • May 23, 2012, 5:53 p.m. CST

    THE AVENGERS EFFECT?

    by julia

  • May 23, 2012, 5:56 p.m. CST

    First...this has not been debunked.

    by Red Ned Lynch

    The first place I read the story was the Wall Street Journal's Market Watch, not a movie site. Second, just remember the slow forecast collapse for the domestic opening of Battleship over at the dark mountain. They went from sixty to seventy way out front to 40 to 50 and blaming that on movie bloggers reacting badly to a 'perceived cynicism' (when a studio blames 'movie bloggers' you need to picture the bridge crew of a ship all grabbing life jackets and running for the boats). By the time the weekend hit Mojo was still forecasting 38 million. And it opened at 25! And they have Joe slated to open a week after Seeking a Friend for the End of the World...umm, I mean Brave, and right before Spiderman? Nah, Joe needs the family audience. They blinked. And Universal moves Ted into the date, which might actually get a little air for a movie that wasn't going to make too much whenever they released it.

  • May 23, 2012, 6 p.m. CST

    Shadow of the Colossus Movie: Chronicle Director To Direct

    by calrabjohns

    http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/05/23/chronicle-director-to-make-shadow-of-the-colossus-movie This---will not end well.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:01 p.m. CST

    Battleship sunk because they didn't release it in 3D

    by Mace Tofu

    Movie goers had no choice but to go see Avengers in 3D again the weekend Battleship opened. From now on ALL Paramount movies will be post converted into 3D because even those EPIC 3D cameras that fit in palm of your hand that Peter Jackson is using on the Hobbit are too bulky for regular Hollywood actors like Will Smith. Shooting real 3D is too hard for him to think straight if he is mugging too close to the camera. Movie goers would rather see the 2D shot mapped onto a fake 3D space by some under payed grunt in an Indian CGI sweatshop. Look at how much money Titanic made. We should of post converted Battleship : (

  • May 23, 2012, 6:02 p.m. CST

    This is because Battleship was a dud

    by Goodbye_America

    nuff said

  • May 23, 2012, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Chronicall

    by UltraTron

  • May 23, 2012, 6:06 p.m. CST

    mace tofu...

    by Red Ned Lynch

    ...Smith's face is already in 3D. If he gets too close to the camera the feedback loop could do terrible damage. Did you learn nothing from what happened to Mickey Rourke on the set of Another 9 and a half 3D Weeks?

  • May 23, 2012, 6:06 p.m. CST

    I misspuul daht

    by UltraTron

  • were are guys like Alan Ladd when we need them..

  • May 23, 2012, 6:10 p.m. CST

    They didn't want to get Battleship-ed

    by Red11

    Like a number of people above noted, it's probably more about not wanting to compete and fail against bigger blockbusters. And has very little to do with adding 3D.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Battleshit looked deplorable at first sight

    by Russell

    It's quite the bizarre fluke that it even cleared $200 mil overseas.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Forget this - DREDD TRAILER IS NEXT WEEK!

    by coolfan123

    DREDD TRAILER ARRIVES NEXT WEEK. Been posted on IMDB. The guy claims it's a dead cert. It's attached to Prometheus. Whoo-hooo! Move over Batman and SPIDER-MAN here comes JUDGE DREDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • May 23, 2012, 6:16 p.m. CST

    All fucking studio suits...

    by Hugh G Rekshun

    ...must fucking hang!

  • May 23, 2012, 6:16 p.m. CST

    A 9 month delay means...

    by Marshal_Lannes

    ...the movie is a fly-blown plate of shit and no 3D will change that.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:19 p.m. CST

    Wow! From a month away to a day from next April.

    by professor murder

    Two weeks ago, the new Percy Jackson movie moved out of that weekend, leaving only THE HOST and Tyler Perry's next movie(after the next one....) as the only competition. The week before has openings from The Croods(animation), Jack the Giant Killer, and Captain Phillips(a Tom Hanks film). I think it's safer to say that 3D is just something they decided to add AFTER they made the decision to move because they would have time to do it. The more realistic reason for moving is because people were going to be seeing Spider-man and taking they're kids to Brave, and as those slowed down, Dark Knight Rises and Ice Age 4 would replace them.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:19 p.m. CST

    WTF?? 3D sucks

    by Steve Lamarre

    I wonder how much they've spent on marketing so far, because that's all wasted now. I might have seen this movie in an air conditioned theater to escape the heat. But next March I'll be occupied reading A Storm of Swords, and watching new Portlandia and Todd Margaret.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:20 p.m. CST

    deaftone...

    by Red Ned Lynch

    ...actually it's pretty cool. The last few years most of the very worst movies made have done far better overseas than in the US. We're closing in on the spot where the 'you stupid americans will watch any shit they put in front of you' can be authoritatively rebutted. Of course the downside is that even though the US said no to say...Prince of Persia we're still going to get a Prince of Persia 2, because a disappointing 90 added to another 240 is still a lot of money.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:20 p.m. CST

    THE AWARENESS

    by professor murder

    You've obviously never seen him in The Vow (being sarcastic)

  • of summer tentpoles that audiences are now expecting thanks to Avengers and Dark Knight. I laugh at all the fools who thought this sequel would be anything other than a crapfest. Not even dressing it up in 3D can save it.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:22 p.m. CST

    btw, sorry

    by Steve Lamarre

    if you like 3D, that's cool. It's definitely a personal preference. I'm not into it though unless it's an Avatar movie.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:23 p.m. CST

    Battleship-Michale Bay Jr. and Transformers leftovers

    by alienindisguise

    who the fuck thought it was going to be anything but shit?

  • May 23, 2012, 6:26 p.m. CST

    Unless it was FILMED IN 3D using 3D TECH CAMS,

    by professor murder

    ..it should just be in 2D! The whole conversion thing is hit or miss. And mostly miss. Avatar, TF3 used this great technology, but most movies are trying to convert after filming and it just isn't the same. I also enjoy lower ticket prices, considering I have a family of 5. It would be nice to go out once and a while to see these movies in the theater, but not at the price of a Benjamin.

  • i would die if he was cast as Taskmaster or Grimreaper in avengers 2

  • May 23, 2012, 6:31 p.m. CST

    RE:professor murder..lol dont forget SON OF NO ONE

    by TheAwareness

    Poor pachino.id rather not act if i had to star in such dreck

  • At the studio I mean. Seriously. Within about, I dunno, say... 6 or 7 seconds of footage, it was horrifically obvious how BAD is was going to be. So obvious, in fact, that I cringe to think how any suits - no matter how stupid - could OK that piece of shit. It's unfathomable to me. But I digress. On topic: Considering there was nowhere to go but up from the first Joe installment, I was kinda looking forward to this flick. 3D is definitely an afterthought/excuse in this announcement. I won't see it in 3D no matter when it's released. Waste of money. But... On the other hand, Abrams' Star Trek was delayed over a year and that turned out pretty good (I think). So, it's not *always* a bad thing to delay. But with a franchise like GI Joe... yeah, it's probably gonna suck. But, as I said, it just can't be worse than Rise of Cobra. It just can't... Can it? =\

  • What a joke. Also, it looks pretty bad to push back a movie that you advertised in the Super Bowl. I kind of have to wonder if there's something else wrong with it.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:35 p.m. CST

    FUCK IT

    by torontoxic

    What a lame excuse. I'll never see this now and I would have gone opening night before they pulled this idiocy. <P> TDK Rises, Prometheus, Savages....that's the whole summer. Everything else deserves to tank and studio asswads like the schmucks running paramount should all be fired. Wipe the slate clean and restaff with creative talent who don't care about political agendas.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:36 p.m. CST

    Ted just took its slot

    by Terrence

    The plot thickens. If I cared.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:43 p.m. CST

    Well I was going to see this next month at a $6 matinee in 2D

    by Russell

    But now I will just download it when it inevitably gets leaked online.

  • Let's face it, if Paramount got their sweaty li'l hands on fucking 4-D technology, this G.I. JOE movie would still do middling business at best. BATTLESHIP is likely the best thing to happen to summer blockbusters in a long time; even the dumb sheeple that usually line Adam Sandler's wallet are proving they have a collective cut-off point. Now, if we could somehow manage to make sure the next TRANSFORMERS movie has a soft opening ...

  • May 23, 2012, 6:44 p.m. CST

    Ted and Brave look shit BTW

    by Russell

  • The toys for this movie are already out and the movie doesn't even come out for another nine months. Hilarious! GI JOE is dead kids. Get over it!

  • May 23, 2012, 6:47 p.m. CST

    Did that exec really use "box office" as a verb?

    by impetus

    OK, seriously. Fuck that guy.

  • May 23, 2012, 6:52 p.m. CST

    if you want your movie to flop call taylor kitsch

    by julia

  • May 23, 2012, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Wow, this could actually be . . .

    by Nice Marmot

    . . . the first flick ever advertised during TWO Super Bowls . . .

  • May 23, 2012, 7:14 p.m. CST

    Inconsequential. This will disappoint ARAH fans,

    by Bedknobs and Boomsticks

    anyway.

  • May 23, 2012, 7:16 p.m. CST

    I am so sick of 3-D - just let me watch my goddamn movie

    by slayme

    i don't need some gimmicky bullshit costing me even more money that often makes the film look worse anyways. Die 3-D, die!

  • May 23, 2012, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Honest and Retarded

    by D o o d

    I don't care about this movie and if it's never released, so what. However, just reading that the execs are impressed with 3D conversion only means they're not listening to the viewing public! Then again the figures probably don't reflect the disdain of 3D that I personally have!

  • May 23, 2012, 7:32 p.m. CST

    Toys have already shipped

    by stever1

    Already showin' up on some store shelves...Kinda late to try to push the turd back in...

  • May 23, 2012, 7:34 p.m. CST

    Screw 3D

    by ScorpioRising

    Every 3D movie I've seen, I would have rather seen in 2D, even Avatar. And all the 3D movies I've seen have been IMax.

  • May 23, 2012, 7:36 p.m. CST

    G.I. Joe: r3Daliation

    by fauns_bass_1

  • May 23, 2012, 7:43 p.m. CST

    This is bullshit. I've seen this movie, and it sucks ass.

    by Zarles

    They may be converting this POS to 3D, but I guarantee you that's not all they're doing. The story is ridiculously shitty that it ain't even funny. Don't be surprised if you start to hear about re-shoots in the months to come. Hell, maybe even some rewrites too.

  • May 23, 2012, 7:51 p.m. CST

    Well that sucks. I really wanted to see this one.

    by Just_Some_Guy

    Like some people said, this makes me think that the end result was really shitty. I guess they want to do some re-shoots and fix it up some. That's what they get for hiring some faggy dance director to direct a macho action movie. To quote a phrase: "I've got a bad feeling about this."

  • May 23, 2012, 7:58 p.m. CST

    who cares Ted moves up to June 29th

    by Quartermass-87

    I wanna see Ted...love Fam Guy and American Dad so looking forward to seeing it. I can already see the Ted sucks and fuck that movie because lets face it talkbackers like to hate on shit right. But I like MacFarlane's brand of humour and its a foulth mouthed, pot smoking teddy bear people it ain't pretending to be high art....far from it. Remember when movies could be fun and just fun for fun's sake. Its like pussy...fuckin' it don't change the world and fix the ecomomy and all the world's ills....but it feels good and its fun and thats all.

  • May 23, 2012, 8:08 p.m. CST

    Speaking of Pearl Harbor..

    by kidicarus

    If you edit out the love story and end it right BEFORE they take off for the Dolittle Raid...its actually a pretty damn good movie.

  • Part 2 looks better, but the damage is done in the first movie. The Baroness was a brainwashed good guy? Cobra Commander was a wimpy scientist? Snake Eyes went to Japan as a kid and chose not to talk? Scarlett prefers Marlon Wayans over Snake Eyes? Cover Girl doesn't get to use a tank? Zartan keeps whistling? Destro doesn't build his own mask and CC's? Ice sinks? Duke beats Snake Eyes? Storm Shadow with his mask off most of the time? Heavy f$%king Duty given a role at all? 3D is just a cover for edits and re-shoots.

  • May 23, 2012, 8:23 p.m. CST

    Fuck 3D, horseshit novelty at best

    by DoctorZoidberg

    Fucking mouthbreathers "ooooh! its popping out at me!"

  • May 23, 2012, 8:27 p.m. CST

    rodvegas78-I think more wrestling fans will wanna see GI Joe...

    by art123guy

    ...than Journey 2. Plus, since the Rock is going to Wrestlemania, he can promote the movie even more. Not to mention GI Joe is a straight up action movie, unlike Journey 2 which was action, comedy. I'm not saying it's gonna make a difference, I just think Wrestlemania also had something to do with the new date.

  • May 23, 2012, 8:41 p.m. CST

    I love how the studio put the 3D on the International market

    by ZoeFan

    Because the American audience has figured out 3D sucks and adds nothing unless your name is Hugo, Tron or Avatar

  • May 23, 2012, 8:44 p.m. CST

    zarles

    by ZoeFan

    For some reason I buy into what you're putting out there

  • There's either A) something very wrong with the movie or B) something else they're afraid of (The Avengers?). There is no reason a studio would suddenly decide to spend 9 months on 3D. Especially not bc of Titanic's rerelease.

  • May 23, 2012, 8:47 p.m. CST

    yeah, because GI Joe 2 is in the same league as The Hunger Games

    by GLENN_THE_TOOL

    The sequel to a hacky action-heavy, plot-light movie based on a toy line from 25 years ago is going to experience the same kind of blockbuster success as a critically-acclaimed postapocalyptic action-drama based on a recent book series just because it's released with a 3D conversion in March. Yeeeeeeaaah, I don't see that happening.

  • May 23, 2012, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Saw this at a screening

    by TheDonJohnSon

    Fuugghhitaboutit, this P.O.S. makes "rise of the Cobra" look like the Deer Hunter. Bad dialogue aside, Jon Chu is a hack who should stick to "step ups" and Mr Gaga videos. He totally destroyed what glimmer of hope the trailer had given us by cramming in cameos and confusing backstories. This piece of fecal matter couldn't be pushed back far enough in my opinion.

  • To give Channing Tatum a more comedic role in this one.

  • May 23, 2012, 9 p.m. CST

    They know they have a piece of shit on their hands.

    by MaxDembo1

    This is the studio's desperate attempt to try and make some extra money off this turd.

  • I mean, when going to the Avengers, I literally saw advertising posters line the wall. No to mention the movie trailers already being shown. Why so late? It can't be due to the 3d issue. It just has to be a terrible movie, and I mean Battleship type terrible. And let's face it, this along with 1989, 1982, and 2008 is one of the biggest blockbuster summers of all time.

  • May 23, 2012, 9:07 p.m. CST

    They dont want to compete.

    by Mark

    With the Avengers, Prometheus, TDKR, The Hobbit, etc so they just said fuck it release it next year so we dont get creamed.

  • May 23, 2012, 9:13 p.m. CST

    LisaB is back?

    by D.Vader

    Jesus Christ, did The Avengers teach you nothing?

  • They spend this much money already on marketing and advertising the previews and they decide NOW to do 3D and delay the movie nine whole months? Weird. I've never seen this happen before. Someone made a monster mistake.

  • May 23, 2012, 9:21 p.m. CST

    It's gonna be the John Carter of 2013

    by art123guy

  • May 23, 2012, 9:31 p.m. CST

    zoefan

    by Zarles

    I wouldn't at all be surprised. I really did see the entire film a few months ago (the effects shots and soundtrack placement were unfinished, but the overall movie seemed finished otherwise) and it is AWFUL. Those of you who didn't like the first one would like this one even less had they released it next month as planned. Believe me. This is Hasbro/Paramount scrambling because Battleship bombed so hard, and probably because they know they have a turd on their hands in 'Retaliation'. Everyone I talked to in my screening said the same thing I'm telling you right now.

  • May 23, 2012, 9:49 p.m. CST

    If zarles is correct...

    by The Dum Guy

    Then, I wonder if they will do some re-shoots? Or, is it so bad, that they'd have to re-shoot the whole movie?

  • No longer is he killed in the first ten minutes. Now he has to infiltrate a COBRA Re-Education Facility and pretend to be a student there while navigating the pitfalls of high school, dating, and contemporary slang.

  • May 23, 2012, 9:57 p.m. CST

    Nah, not a total re-shoot.

    by Zarles

    It's not completely unsalvageable, but it needs an extensive reworking based on what I saw. I'm sure Jon Chu is a nice guy, but good lord. He is SO over his head with this kind of material. I gave them my full opinion of the movie on the survey they gave us to fill out afterward, and I KNOW I wasn't the only one who tore them a new asshole on it. Not lying here, folks. The movie as it stood a month ago is a complete mess, and Hasbro knows it. This is a studio scrambling at the eleventh hour.

  • The films had a fair amount of marketing going on. So they basically have to now spend a whole lot more on that. As well as the costs to convert it to 3D. How much extra revenue do they think they'll get? Anyway the real reason has to be they just don't think it'll do well this Summer. Which they're probably right.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:02 p.m. CST

    They delay even after recent resshoots??

    by MP

    If you follow the Rock on Twitter, you can follow how he was doing reshoots on weekends while filming that Michael Bay bodybuilding movie. So if they were cramming reshoots this month for something that to be released in June...then gets pushed to March 2013, then something was wrong. So no doubt they knew the film would tank (no pun) against the Avengers/Dark Knight and be another John Carter/Battleship so they delay it enough to fix it, avoid being lost in the shuffle and at the least make it 3D. Also Hasbro shipped toys already and will lose this christmas for its movie-less GI Joe line. Good thing Hasbro also makes/sells Avengers & Spiderman.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:03 p.m. CST

    How can it be worse than the first movie?

    by D.Vader

    HOW?!? I demand an answer from the movie gods.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:07 p.m. CST

    They failed with Ted...

    by Andrew Coleman

    A great concept ruined by the fact that everyone is just okay that a stuffed bear is alive... If it was magical that he came alive... Why are women fucking Ted? People would freak out if a stuffed animal came to life. If they played it that was it would have been hilarious. As it stands now it looks just shrug worthy.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:11 p.m. CST

    Wow. Was it that bad?

    by DanielnocharismaCraig

    Even with Bruce Willis? From all the trailers I've seen it didn't look too shabby. Certainly alot better than the first one.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:13 p.m. CST

    Myphdisdoom

    by MaxCalifornia.

    Spoiler, I guess, but this is dealt with in Ted. He IS a celebrity at first, but everyone gets over/annoyed by him really quickly, so he becomes essentially a washed up child star.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:17 p.m. CST

    It was really that bad.

    by Zarles

    It plays like a mixture of shitty made-for-TV movies in the '80s and an even shittier recruitment video for the United States Marines. Say what you want about the first movie, but at least it had a straightforward, point-A-to-point-B narrative that Sommers stuck with all the way through. Retaliation doesn't even have that.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:18 p.m. CST

    myphdisdoom, seriously re: TED?

    by D.Vader

    You think by going with the fact that everyone can see TED, its somehow ruined? You don't think that going with the ambiguous "maybe others can see him, maybe not" (as was the case with whether or not the family could understand Stewie for awhile) is more cliched? Fact is, with me, making it implicit that others see and hear TED makes the movie a bit more brave in my opinion. And it certainly sets the stage more easily for a "rug pulled out from underneath" situation where it turns out we were wrong and *thought* everyone saw TED when they really didn't. Fight Club 12 year anniversary, HELLO!

  • May 23, 2012, 10:20 p.m. CST

    "People would freak out if a stuffed animal came to life."

    by D.Vader

    But *only* if this was the first time its ever happened for some reason. But maybe this is a world where everyone's stuffed animal/representation of childhood is allowed to live *IF* the kid decides to allow it, and so this is not uncommon. Point is, we don't know yet. I'm very curious to discover the world they've built around this story.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:21 p.m. CST

    Fuck this movie

    by Rick Webb

    I enjoyed the first, and was mildly looking forward to this, but seriously?! I read the quotes in the article and all I could smell was cocksucking. Fuck this movie.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:22 p.m. CST

    The toys shipped?

    by matineer

    That can't make retailers happy. Doesn't the movie company owe the stores a film to push the merchandise?

  • May 23, 2012, 10:47 p.m. CST

    Toys shipped and are on shelves...

    by MP

    I saw them at Target just today. So toy retailers who ordered them months ago know have product that will lose money and be put out on clearance. Then the Halloween costumes retailers ordered will tank with no movie behind it. And party supplies etc. That excuse of conversion to 3D is the equivalent of a celebrity said to be dealing with "exhaustion" when its really a stint in rehab for drugs.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:48 p.m. CST

    The end of Jonathan Murrays directorial career?

    by DanielnocharismaCraig

    Throughout my 34 year existence I have never heard of this happening. A huge summer movie being pushed back at the last minute? This guy fucked up big time. Just imagine the cost the studio has to pour in to fix this disaster. I can't even imagine.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:53 p.m. CST

    the first gi joe movie blew hard

    by Russell

    and this sequel didnt look much better even though I would have given it a chance next month. The only really cool part of the trailer was seeing the cartoon version of Cobra Commander in live action with the classic mirror mask on. He also needs to be voiced by Charlie Adler once it's out by next year.

  • May 23, 2012, 10:56 p.m. CST

    Well, color me unamused

    by VAwitch

    I can't see much improvement coming, from a post-pro conversion. My family (incl parents) were looking forward to seeing GI Joe, but when it does appear, we'll see it in 2D anyhow. Our local AMC doesn't seem to understand to increase brightness of bulb for 3D conversions :(

  • May 23, 2012, 11:03 p.m. CST

    I wonder

    by waslah

    If somebody took a look at the American performance of Battleship and got scared.

  • Men in Black 3, Judge Dredd, and what were those two films to close out the year...oh yeah, The Hobbit and Django Unchained. Not the best year to release a shitty film.

  • May 23, 2012, 11:08 p.m. CST

    theawareness

    by Zarles

    To be honest, nothing really sticks out in my mind. There are a few decent action scenes sprinkled throughout, but nothing I could really comment on in detail. I only saw it a month ago, so you'd think if there was anything remarkable, it would've stuck in my mind. As for Cobra Commander, I really disliked him. The voice sounds like some default 'Scary Deep Voice' setting on a soundboard, and the costume doesn't really add anything to him either. I know you guys are all psyched on the mirror mask, but if there's no real character behind it, who cares? Don't even get me started on how badly they shit all over Destro, either.

  • May 23, 2012, 11:12 p.m. CST

    Battleship lost my interest

    by UsultheMahdi

    when I first heard they were making it. Glad they took Dune away from Berg knowing he's turning worthless piles of shit like Battleship. But I am looking forward to Candyland:The movie. When a sour taste is left in the mouth of life, it's up to one boy, one girl, and one sarcastic wombat to bring sweet revenge. Next summer things will get sticky...in Candyland.

  • May 23, 2012, 11:26 p.m. CST

    And by March, no one will remember G.I. Joe...

    by Lord Elric

    Because they'll all be too excited for the upcoming IRON MAN 3. Good call, faceless Paramount executive. FAIL.

  • May 23, 2012, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Or...yup. Sucks and someone just noticed...

    by Lord Elric

    AFTER the trailers went out...the toys are on the shelves...and word of mouth starts building. FAIL.

  • May 23, 2012, 11:50 p.m. CST

    Dwayne Johnson has confirmed reshoots

    by Russell

    http://screencrush.com/g-i-joe-retaliation-re-shoots/ and zarles, did the Cobra Commander voice sound so terrible that it's possible it was just there as a placeholder for the dialogue and they are going to ADR it with Charlie Adler? I could have sworn I read something about 8 months ago that mentioned him doing the voice for the finished film and this was at the request of Jon Chu that he do the voice much like Peter Cullen still doing Optimus Prime for the Transformers movies.

  • May 23, 2012, 11:52 p.m. CST

    wtf

    by medster101

    I guess this movie really is that bad. Shit call on hiring Chu as director. Why is it that difficult to make a good movie nowadays?

  • Ted for the win!

  • May 24, 2012, 12:23 a.m. CST

    I couldn't care less.

    by The Outlander

  • May 24, 2012, 12:25 a.m. CST

    3D Avengers + 3D Prometheus + 3D Hobbit = $$$$$$

    by tomandshell

  • May 24, 2012, 12:33 a.m. CST

    3D isn't going to save this pile of crap

    by Jonathan

    You can't polish a turd

  • May 24, 2012, 12:47 a.m. CST

    MOVIE+ 3D =MAGIC MONEY MOVIE=BULLSHIT

    by bloodawn5

    Seriously not every movie needs to be in 3D, Avengers was the Avengers, that's the reason it triumphed, not because the 3D.

  • May 24, 2012, 12:56 a.m. CST

    @jlprime umm yes you can polish a turd....

    by MrH

    It's been proved by Mythbusters already

  • May 24, 2012, 1:07 a.m. CST

    deaftone

    by Zarles

    It sounded pretty final to me, but anything is possible with ADR. What I heard sounded like shit. Besides, what does it matter? A voiceover doesn't mean anything if your entire movie is crap. If what that link is stating is correct and all this is going to cost Paramount ANOTHER $100 million on top of what they've already spent, they're in trouble. Based on what I saw, this movie won't even come close to making that much domestically. If they can 'fix' it, fine. But as of a month ago, they had a shitty B-movie on their hands, and I don't understand what 3D is going to do to help that. Anyone wanna hear what they do to Destro?

  • May 24, 2012, 1:32 a.m. CST

    Me! Me - I do!

    by Dan

    Spill.

  • May 24, 2012, 1:40 a.m. CST

    fountainsofbain

    by Zarles

    DESTRO/GI JOE SPOILERS The first five minutes of the movie is a jailbreak coordinated by Storm Shadow to free Cobra Commander. Storm Shadow kicks the collective ass of an entire super-high tech underground lair manned by 50 guys with machine guns and breaks Cobra Commander out of his holding tube/cell thingy. I think it's SS who asks 'But what about Destro?' when the two of them are about to leave. Cobra Commander looks over at Destro in his respective holding cell/tube thingy and says some cheesy-ass action movie line like 'DESTRO IS OUT OF THE BAND!' There is then a zoom cut to Destro's face after hearing the line, and his expression is hilarious. He looks like a puppy that's being left behind in a burning building. You can practically hear him whimpering, for fuck's sake. So pathetic. So yes, they kill off Destro almost immediately, and there is no Baroness to be found anywhere. Fuckin' wack. You can't have an evil empire without a psychotic weapons manufacturer. Period. Recast that shit if Eccleston doesn't care anymore. No big deal. I have to admit that the jailbreak sequence in the first 5 minutes is kinda cool, but it's that expression on Destro's face that begins the shitasticness of the rest of the movie. Say what you will about the first movie, but I enjoyed it just fine because it didn't take itself seriously at all. It IS the cartoon show, and that's all it really needs to be. I don't know why Hasbro felt the need to make it 'grittier', especially when the end result isn't gritty at all. It's just stupid, half-assed and completely all over the place.

  • May 24, 2012, 1:44 a.m. CST

    Cobra Commander looks like a Viper trooper.

    by Bedknobs and Boomsticks

  • May 24, 2012, 1:59 a.m. CST

    This year is so cluttered

    by KiwiMetal

    I don't actually mind this decision.

  • May 24, 2012, 2 a.m. CST

    Zarles

    by Dan

    I totally agree - Stephen Sommers was the exact right match for the material, and I thought he turned in about the best you could reasonably expect - I certainly enjoyed the film. The trailers just looke dlike a lot of 'cool' images held together by very little. I'm sure a sword fight in the mountains attached to bungee ropes sounded cool at the production meeting, but I'm still not sure WHY you'ld ever reasonably get there, or HOW it lasts longer than thirty seconds. I figure if you start moving too far from what you had to begin with, you are in real danger of moving backwards, because that really was the best you can hope for. But this move is shamelessly weak; probably all they could do to try and salvage it though...

  • May 24, 2012, 2:44 a.m. CST

    Now I really hope it bombs.

    by Mr. Pricklepants

  • May 24, 2012, 3:10 a.m. CST

    Oh, Fuck You Paramount.

    by JoeHungg

  • Well, if they can improve on the script and add more cool set pieces, then yeah it's worth the delay. but i could give two shits about 3D.

  • May 24, 2012, 4:09 a.m. CST

    Are... You... Fucking... Kidding... Me !!!!!!

    by Jake Pantlin

    First of all... I fucking hate 3D. Besides that point... what the fuck!?! they have been advertising commercials for months. You can't just pull a movie like that. Add all the 3D in the world, but it will BOMB if you pull it now. Everybody who wanted to see this now will be pissed, and you will be lucky if even the GI Joe fanboys show up. Seriously, what the fuck? This just shows they have no support for the film. The audience will pick up on this, and the film will suffer for it HUGE.

  • May 24, 2012, 5:17 a.m. CST

    TOO SOON

    by Pageiv

    If they wanted to make the Titanic comparison, they should release it now, then in 2026 release it in 3D.

  • May 24, 2012, 5:30 a.m. CST

    Nine months to add 3D

    by Lloytron

    and if I watch it, it will only ever be in 2D. Great decision there guys.

  • May 24, 2012, 6:48 a.m. CST

    Reason Battleship tanked in the US

    by s0l

    Was simple! They waited a full month from the worldwide release to release it in the US. By that time the hype had died down as most had seen it via P2P and knew it was terrible! If the release was within a week or so then it would have been a bigger hit since no one had advanced notice of how bad it really was... ^_^ By the way what does "AAA Film" mean? Absolutely Atrocious Acting?

  • May 24, 2012, 6:55 a.m. CST

    anyway

    by the new transported man

    Hopefully somebody who works on the 3D conversion puts a DVD rip out there on the internet...just sayin'.

  • May 24, 2012, 6:56 a.m. CST

    You've gotta be fucking kidding me!

    by eveelcapitalist

    I never saw the first one but I was really looking forward to this one. It looked, dare I say it, good. Nine months? Sorry, no, fuck it. That sucks. I'm not that interested in this movie that I'm willing to tolerate behind the scenes bullshit and 3D. No, sorry, that actually kills it for me. Hard to say, but it does. I'm not saying I won't see it, I'm just saying it's off my priority list.

  • May 24, 2012, 7:56 a.m. CST

    Someone took our tentpole! Did Battleship really tank that bad?

    by impossibledreamers

    3D will not save a turkey.

  • May 24, 2012, 8:05 a.m. CST

    We all whine about how event popcorn movies suck now

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Look no further than foreign grosses. They eat this shit up.

  • May 24, 2012, 8:06 a.m. CST

    RISE OF COBRA was horrible...

    by Mikey Wood

    ...and I say that as a lifelong GI:JOE fan (although WOW...The cartoons REALLY don't hold up. I started watching them again for pure nostalgia and...ugh...) Out of the dozens of fantastic comic stories they could have chosen to build the movie after, they chose to emulate that SIGMA SIX garbage. This just SCREAMS re-shoots to me. The theory that they're boosting Tatum's role makes sense...He's flavor of the month...and, yeah....it was up against some SERIOUS competition. Even though RISE OF COBRA may very well be the worst movie I have ever seen get a theatrical release, this one had my interest a bit. Or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.

  • May 24, 2012, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Reason Battleship tanked

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Maybe the US at least momentarily got fed up with explosion porn.

  • May 24, 2012, 8:23 a.m. CST

    This is a stupid decision, not coz....

    by awesomebri

    This is a stupid decision, not coz post 3d sucks but because they have already spent so much on marketing for the summer. People are pumped NOW! making people wait til March will only make them loose interest. Silly execs.

  • I don't care if Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro and George Clooney were in Battleship, there's no story good enough about a coordinates boardgame that justifies the scratch they put behind that stinker. I don't understand what made people think Battleship = Goldmine. It's 2012, not 1998, every summer blockbuster has pretty amazing CGI. And people aren't going in droves to see Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker. So now G.I. Joe suffers. And fans now have to wait 9 months before they are let down by that film. Maybe this will keep Hasbro out of the movie business. And I know many have said it, but I'd like to reiterate that Ridley Scott was a very wise man to jump ship when he did. Getting off soapbox now.

  • May 24, 2012, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Translation:

    by Beezbo

    Battleship has shown us that this Summer is too competitive to put out another big-budget movie based on a toy.

  • May 24, 2012, 9:06 a.m. CST

    I agree

    by charlie frown

    They are scared of a summer 2012 release.

  • May 24, 2012, 9:10 a.m. CST

    No hurry, we can wait, no seriously we can wait...

    by Tom Fremgen

    in fact you don't even have to release it. I think we're all good with that. And are they really surprised the Hunger Games made money in March?! These people are dumber than a bag of hammers. The public will see good movies, at any point in the year- seriously.

  • May 24, 2012, 9:18 a.m. CST

    composite_ghost

    by Zarles

    I don't even know what that question is supposed to mean (what the fuck is the word Ben doing in there?), but I've been a GI Joe fan for probably longer than you've been alive. The version of Retaliation I saw was insulting. It was less a GI Joe movie than it was some shitty action schlock with the Joes' names slapped onto it. You can choose to believe me or not, but I know what I saw. fountainsofbain is right. The movie as it stood a month ago is little more than a handful of interesting images and half-baked sequences tied together into a film. Even the ninja cliff fight felt clunky and confusing. The Destro angle was a joke, the supporting characters are barely there, Bruce Willis' cameo is stupid stunt casting, and you don't even want to know how out of place the flashback sequences with RZA as Blind Master are. So dumb.

  • May 24, 2012, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Battleship has made 245 million?!?!

    by Tom Fremgen

    Just checked, and the foreign box office has brought in $215 million (more than the budget of $209 million). I am dumb founded. I guess Battleship 2 is coming soon now.

  • May 24, 2012, 9:26 a.m. CST

    It's the fault of THE AVENGERS.

    by Ringwearer9

    First of all, the triumph of it's record breaking take is phony .... it broke records because it was released primarily in 3D with 3D prices, so that record breaking take was accomplished with fewer people buying tickets, but paying a huge amount more than the last record breaking film (was it Harry Potter?). This 3D conversion is a pure greed move, inspired by the idiotic geek-out of the comic book nerds over AVENGERS. Did I hear a peep from that fantatical rabid overweight shrieking demographic about how upsetting it was to have their Holy Grail movie in 3D? No, the lard encased morons went to see it, and see it again. Thanks, comic book guys. Thanks for keeping 3D alive. And for a pretty shitty movie.

  • May 24, 2012, 9:29 a.m. CST

    zarles, Did Duke get killed off at least?

    by Stalkeye

    That alone, would be the price of admission. let's see if Paramount had the balls to do the one thing GIJoe The Movie (1987) fail to do. Tatum was soo wrong for the part.

  • So I don't think he's making it out of that dojo alive.

  • May 24, 2012, 9:38 a.m. CST

    WHY?

    by Darren

    It seems like a bad move. They were generating some good buzz after the release of the trailer on the internet and now they just killed it.

  • Nobody delays a film 4 weeks from release -- already having spent millions on advertising and promotion -- unless it's a DIRE circumstance. The film probably needs MAJOR work, and a lot more than just 3-D.

  • May 24, 2012, 9:52 a.m. CST

    More spoilers in this post

    by Zarles

    As for Duke, yes he does get killed off in the first 20 minutes. But to be honest, as clunky and wooden as he was in the first one, I was actually hoping he was going to turn out to be alive after all about halfway through the movie. DJ Cotrona and Adrianne Palicki are completely lifeless and inconsequential.

  • I miss that. I don't like this March through May blockbuster release schedule.

  • And I thought Wayans' part was bad. Duke having a past relationship with the Baroness whose now brainwashed? NO! She was an ruthless Bitch in the Comics and to some extent, the cartoon series. RoC had some of the lamest tongue n cheek dialogue I have heard in ages. "Nice Shoes' "That's my Girl"! "He never gives up". don't get me started on Vosloo playing Zartan. Zartan was supposed to be European not from the Mideast. Oh, and he was dressed in all black with a flak jacket. Then there are the Joes' uniforms... all they need was an "X" or Bat emblem and we all would have been confused. Retaliation couldn't possibly be worse than the first. amirite?!?

  • I would hate waiting till July just to see the Avengers as the film debuted on my Birthday. One of the best pwesents I received that day. Plus other studios may have enough leeway to release their films without worrying about being trounced by early blockbusters. That said, the momemtum for avengers is unstoppable.At this point, I doubt if RTDK can achieve those numbers.

  • May 24, 2012, 10:47 a.m. CST

    What (so far) is G.I. Joe's budget?

    by jim

    Comparing it to The Hunger Games won't mean much if it hovers around $200 million, since the Hunger Games budget was about $80 million. Comparing it to Titanic makes even less sense. The 3D conversion of Titanic was $18 million. That's it. That was the budget for the 2012 3D re-release of Titanic. I think it is safe to say anything it made beyond its first weekend, or even its first day, was gravy. By the way, how much did Titanic 3D actually make in theatres? Box Office Mojo is a bit confusing as it lumps it in with the overall box office going back to 1997. However, if I read it correctly, it does seem it made about $60 million domestic. Is that what Paramount is hoping for with G.I. Joe? 'Cause I don't think that will even cover the cost of the advertising that will have to be redone and the 3D conversion.

  • May 24, 2012, 10:52 a.m. CST

    @ kidicarus, watching Pearl Harbor again a few years ago

    by jim

    I came to the conclusion that if you remove Josh Hartnett's character from the movie it is much better. It is tighter and much more focused. Felt the same way about Star Trek: Nemesis. Take out everything relating to Troi, and switch Data & B-4 in their last few scenes, and you have a pretty good movie.

  • May 24, 2012, 10:53 a.m. CST

    now I know who the fuck this Zarles character is

    by seagrass

    Someone who knows his shit. :) Zarles, I remember that you mentioned that Retaliation was bad a few weeks ago, in another thread. Do you think they can salvage the movie with reshoots? Or is it futile at this point? A lot can happen in 9 months.

  • To give them time to convert the film to a live-action show. Of course, being a live show it will have a staggered opening, and limited run, all across North America throughout 2013 & 2014. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNuraB_Ri34

  • May 24, 2012, 11 a.m. CST

    At this point they might as well give it to Mikey Bay.

    by Stalkeye

    He actually couldn't be any worse than the director of Step Up.

  • May 24, 2012, 11:12 a.m. CST

    If they are doing reshoots...

    by Jake Pantlin

    I'm not even the that big of a GI Joe fan (I'm more of a He-Man fan myself), but I have a pretty good idea of what they should do to fix this. 1. Have Scarlett and General Hawk appear at the end as a cameo. Not all the Joes can be dead. Especially these two. Scarlett is a main character, and sexy as hell to boot. They should be set up to appear in Part 3, with General Hawk back in a leadership role. 2. Have the Baroness appear in the story. Best bet is to have her rescue Destro at the end. Set them both up for Part 3, with plans to take down Cobra Commander. 3. Cut any cheesy lines regarding Destro. If Cobra Commander abandons him, show Destro FURIOUS!!! Don't make him a wimp. Destro should be the Darth Vader of this series. 4. Make sure Destro looks like a BAD ASS. Take a page from Marvel Movies, and make sure your villian looks cool. The first film was embarrasing, as far as the face/mask went.

  • May 24, 2012, 11:16 a.m. CST

    DIAF ringwearer9

    by NightArrows

    I am a comic fan and saw Avengers in 2D you uppity twat. A shitty movie? No, that would be the story of your life, which is hopefully nearing the credits.

  • May 24, 2012, 11:17 a.m. CST

    and #5: Don't kill Duke!

    by Jake Pantlin

    Duke was set up as the hero of the first film. To kill him in the first 20 minutes is cheep. Set it up so that the body they find is a fake (a dead clone), with Cobra actually capturing Duke during the ambush on the base. Duke wakes up in a lab, and finds out that Dr Mindbender is going to be doing experiments on him, or something. Turn him into a super soldier for Cobra who fights against the Joes (like what happened to Baroness), with the Joes saving him from himself in Part 3.

  • May 24, 2012, 11:52 a.m. CST

    To be honest, I couldn't care less if they save it or not.

    by Zarles

    It's clear from what I saw that Jon Chu doesn't know how to handle this kind of material. Stephen Sommers was a great choice for a genre movie like this, and despite its faults (i.e. the casting), I think the first film was lots of fun and probably the best anyone could've done with a GI Joe movie. I own the Blu-Ray, and it's always something I turn to when I want a little mindless fun. I think the studio WANTED to do something a little heavier and realistic than the cartoony approach this time around, but when it came to time to pull the trigger on it, they hired the wrong director. Really all it boils down to. Odds are that Retaliation will come out next spring, either die on the vine or enjoy moderate success, and then get rebooted in a few years' time. Hopefully with someone other than Jon Chu. Like I said before, I'm sure he's a nice guy, but he was in WAY over his head with this.

  • May 24, 2012, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Okay Stalkeye, I'll give you that

    by D.Vader

    I *am* glad The Avengers didn't have to wait until July.

  • I don't understand the mentality that the Sommers flick was the best Joe fans could expect based on the material. Hmm.. Ever heard of movies called The Avengers, Dark Knight, Spider-Man, or about 5000 others films based on "funny books"? GI Joe is no different. The material COULD be taken seriously and done justice. We've seen it happen plenty of times before. But Sommers and Co fucked it right he fuck up. Just because Rise of Cobra was a fun popcorn flick doesn't mean that we deserved better. And we do.

  • May 24, 2012, 12:47 p.m. CST

    *doesn't mean we DIDN'T deserve better*

    by Kremzeek

    And he = the

  • May 24, 2012, 12:57 p.m. CST

    @ringwearer9: I'm not fat at all. I hate 3D.

    by Kremzeek

    I'm in my 30s, sure. But no mom's basement and I'm not even remotely fat. Never saw Avengers in 3D. And I have no plans to. It's a waste of money (as is 3D in general, IMO). All nerds are not alike.

  • May 24, 2012, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Aside from parts of Snake Eyes' costume

    by seagrass

    (which was actually pretty faithful to the toy, which also had "lips" on the mask), I thought Sommers handled the Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow dynamic almost note-perfect. I didn't like Tatum as Duke, but then again I never liked the character of Duke to begin with. I was hoping we'd get more of the original Joes... Grand Slam, Rock n Roll, Flash... and Stalker!! He was such a huge part of the comics that I am still shocked he wasn't in the first film. Instead we get a half-assed Brendan Fraser cameo, who really hammed it up in his brief screentime (not in a good way). They missed a perfect opportunity for a Snow Job cameo during the assault on Cobra's base.

  • May 24, 2012, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Hey Zarles

    by seagrass

    Did Chu at least get Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow right? Or was that bungled as well?

  • May 24, 2012, 1:27 p.m. CST

    actually,atheron ..

    by Stalkeye

    I would have Destro escape but not from the help of Baroness as she is "hospitalized" near the end of RoC. (what the hell could she do, now that she's no longer brainwashed?) So...the only viable solution would be Destro's private army: The Iron Grenadiers. After many of the Joes have been all but wiped out (especially Duke and Ripcord!!) the remaining team, outnumbered and outgunned are faced with a huge bounty on their heads. With no where to turn, the Joes are given a bargain by a rather cloaked stranger bearing a Gold mask. Destro offers assistance to help twart Cobra Commander (ulterior motive not only being vengeance but as some power play that in turn may further weaken the Joes and of course taking over as the new leader of Cobra should CC get "Killed".) i would stage an awesome battle scene that includes Annihlators, AGPs, Demons and Tagats. That's just for starters

  • I'd watch a feature length GI Joe movie if it were written by Fensler Films. Otherwise, gtfo.

  • May 24, 2012, 2:02 p.m. CST

    neonfrisbee: you obviously never read the comics

    by seagrass

    because you would never have made a comment like that after reading issue #21. I'd bet good money on it.

  • May 24, 2012, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Remember when Holloywood put out quality....

    by DARKJEDI

    Now its just studios full of cheap pimps...

  • May 24, 2012, 2:03 p.m. CST

    Move up Expendables 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by DARKJEDI

    Move up Expendables 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • May 24, 2012, 2:05 p.m. CST

    That's issue #21 of the original 80's series

    by seagrass

    A Real American Hero. The newer series are pretty good, by the way.

  • May 24, 2012, 2:18 p.m. CST

    stalkeye

    by Jake Pantlin

    Yeah, I thought about the whole brainwash thing. My thinking was that she might see Destro as a victim of her brother, more than being a bad guy. Even though she is no longer brainwashed, she may still have feelings for him and try to save him. Women do crazy things in the name of love.

  • Are you having seizures yet?

  • Fuck stupid Americans, and Fuck Hollywood. Oh, and I'm American.

  • May 24, 2012, 6:05 p.m. CST

    seagrass

    by Zarles

    Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were handled adequately, I guess. Again, nothing really sticks in my mind. They each have a decent fight scene or two, but nothing spectacular. The movie has far larger problems than those two. Do NOT move up Expendables 2. I'm sure that's gonna be an undercooked piece of shit too, just like the first one was. I find it hilarious that you guys eat that crap up like it was strawberry ice cream, and yet still shit all over the first GI Joe movie.

  • May 24, 2012, 6:30 p.m. CST

    @zarles You've claimed to have seen the movie in every Joe tb, but

    by adeceasedfan

    It will take more than 'I've seen it and it sucks' and now 'nothing really sticks in my mind' I call bullshit. If you're gonna lie at least come up with something more than someone could get from the trailers. Btw Paramount can eat a dick! And if I'm wrong about you bro. I'll eat one too.

  • And that's why they try so hard to dismiss the movie. This year has everything to become one of the best years in history of cinema, let alone for movies based on comic book characters. But they keep trying to make this World Fanboy War I. See, from the way I see it, this can only benefit The Amazing Spider-Man. Nolanites are so obnoxious spilling their venom against The Avengers and TASM that I can totally see this backfiring on them. Everywhere I look, they seem so worried about how many screens TDKR will have, because they are really mad at The Avengers for people being fucking in love with the movie. They keep trying to make TASM look bad all across the board, they keep saying how much The Amazing Spider-Man doesn't mean a treat for GI Joe, let alone their beloved TDKR. I keep reading Nolanites talking about this movie like it's the second coming, and how much brilliant it is, and this without having seen a single frame of the movie beyond the trailers and TV spots. The way I see it, this can end up backfiring on them, and backfiring hard. I couldn't read any movie website before the release of The Avengers because they were campaigning so hard against it that I couldn't help but start arguing with them. About a film neither them or I had even seen yet. The same pattern is starting to appear. Badmouthing The Amazing Spider-Man ad nauseam, while the movie keeps gaining momentum and an amazing boost in the form of the GI Joes retreating. And this terrifies them. For some of them, come July, 20th, all the screenings will belong to TDKR. They just can't see TASM as a contender that could become a box office monster and share some screens with the last installment of Nolan's Batman, let alone represent a menace to TDKR. They seem to think that it's a given how much brilliant TDKR will be and everyone and their mother will want to see. And the sad thing is, besides the fact that I think TDK is massively overrated, I do love Batman Begins and I will be there at the opening midnight of both TASM and TDKR. But every time some Nolanite opens his mouth to badmouth movies like The Avengers and movies that aren't even out yet like TASM, I wish even more for these movies success. They should know how blessed they are for getting these movies all in the same year, but instead, they are more worried which movie will sell more tickets than the movie itself. And any attempt to talk how awesome The Avengers looks or how insanely amazing - pun intended - Spidey looks, they start gangbanging against these movies in a desperate attempt to dismiss anything than Nolan's TDKR. I fucking hate blind fanatism, and some of them keep shouting " IN NOLAN WE TRUST" and how much brilliant TDKR is. They project themselves so much into these movies that I feel that a huge part of a film experience - you know, finding out for yourself how much you love or hate a movie - is lost, exchanged for blind subservience and making the movie inside their heads before they've even seen it. I didn't love The Avengers before seeing it with my own two eyes. There is nothing that I'm anticipating more in cinema this year than The Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises, not even Prometheus. I've a strong hunch that The Amasing Spider-Man is gaining momentum at the right time, and coming from an insane success like it is The Avengers, I can see the general audience avid for more. In case it gets positive reviews and good WOM, TASM could become the sleeper hit box office monster of the summer, and why the hell not? Why to root against a movie? Will you make some money out of "TDKR obliterating The Avengers" as I've read repeatedly? Here's what I think it'll happen: given that TASM gets good reviews and WOM, the audience for Spidey is similar to TDKR, but not the same. TASM will have more appeal among families, kids and young women, beyond the usual fanboys and a male audience avid for some superhero action after have watched The Avengers. TDKR will have the appeal of being the last installment of the series, and given that it will have good WOM and reviews, will ressonate with a more older audience. Listen up, you fucks, before you start saying "huh but kids wikl go to TDKR", of course, but TASM has a more broader appeal than TDKR, that is indeed a more dark and sober movie. I want the two of them to kill at the box office. But most of all, I want the two of them to be brilliant. Novel concept, isn't it? Rootingfor BOTH movie instead of one. Yeah, I know. May both movies be brilliant, making every penny it deserves just like The Avengers is doing now. I'd love to spend a whole afternoon/night watching The Avengers, The Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises amazed with how brilliant these movies are.

  • May 25, 2012, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Micahel Bay would make a great GI Joe movie

    by Chief Joseph

    All the flag-waving and glorification of the US Military would be not only acceptable, but encouraging.

  • May 25, 2012, 2:23 a.m. CST

    adeceasedfan

    by Zarles

    Go fuck yourself. I couldn't give less of a shit what you think. Take a break from jerking off to your sister's tampon stash and quit being so jealous, you little twat. Go back and read every post I've made in this article and any other and tell me again that I've gotten the spoilers I've posted from the trailers. Didn't think so. I'm not the only one who has claimed to have seen an early screening, either. So in short, go fuck yourself. Yeah, that's about it.

  • May 25, 2012, 2:31 a.m. CST

    Also

    by Zarles

    Scroll up the page to a post I made to fountainsofbain about what happens to Destro in the first five minutes of the movie. You think I got that from the trailers? Yeah, I doubt it. Unless Hasbro/Paramount completely guts the beginning of the film and starts from scratch, that IS what happens to him, and it's also where the movie starts to go completely to shit. Did I say go fuck yourself yet? Go fuck yourself.

  • May 25, 2012, 6:27 a.m. CST

    Oh, now I'm convinced.

    by adeceasedfan

    'I couldn't give less a shit' but I'm gonna rant in two posts. Get over yourself.

  • May 25, 2012, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Fuck off.

    by Zarles

    So I should just sit back and let you call me a liar? Eat a bag of dicks, junior.

  • May 25, 2012, 11:23 a.m. CST

    It's probably senior, judging by your response.

    by adeceasedfan

    And come March 2013, as clearly stated above I just might. Hopefully before they are shoved up your ass, kid.

  • May 25, 2012, 12:03 p.m. CST

    And my reason to lie would be...?

    by Zarles

    What would I have to gain by making any of this up? All I've done by posting what I have is to warn all of you that this movie is a giant nut-filled turd and to not get your hopes up. When I heard it was being delayed, I was almost relieved because I knew how much of a piece of shit it was a month ago. Again, go back and read what I've posted. I've tried to maintain a low level of spoiler posts because I know a lot of you are still going to see it. You wanna know more stupid shit that happens in this stupid movie? Fine. Here are a few more stupid things about it in random order. Right before Duke dies, he and the Rock have a shooting contest. Duke loses, and has to babysit Roadblock's daughter because of it. At one point, the main characters sneak into Bruce Willis' house, and Bruce Willis is somehow hiding in the rafters of his own suburban upper middle class home. He sneaks up on them with a gun. Bruce is playing a character named 'Joe', who is assumedly General Joe Colton, the original GI Joe. Bruce/Joe keeps getting Lady Jaye's name wrong on purpose. Lady Jaye had some daddy issues, and Bruce/Joe resolves them for her at the end of the movie in a really dumb and obvious way. There are a lot of renditions of the original toys in this movie, although the effects shots I saw IN THE MOVIE I SAW A MONTH AGO were largely unfinished. The end of the movie leads you to believe that Cobra Commander dies in a helicopter crash. Firefly and Roadblock have a decent fight scene near the end, but Firefly goes out like a bitch. During the ninja fight on the side of the mountain, the manipulation of a body in a body bag comes into play. The President of the United States is somehow being held prisoner in the most obvious place to look on a Presidential retreat in Virginia. The set of that obvious place looks like it was set up in the basement of a 7-11. Anything else, dicknose? You can apologize for insinuating that I'm a liar whenever you like.

  • Just like some poster who revealed Sophie's fate during the second season of TWD. From what he had mentioned, I'm more than convinced that he's telling the truth. However, I still think RoC is a crock of shite and a slap in the face of one of my favorite IPs. If the film is still salvagable, then it's worth waiting 9 more months. It's apparent that 3D is the least of Paramount's concerns. I know it pertains to a major script overhaul. After the turd that was Battleship, Hasbro aint gonna let their #2 franchise sink any further. Time will tell.

  • May 25, 2012, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Oh geez...still?

    by adeceasedfan

    I do have a reason for why I said what I did. I'm not an asshole (usually) so as soon as the kids are fed and in bed, I'll be back. As for an apology, you got one in my original post. Back handed, but nonetheless. Later freaks.

  • May 25, 2012, 8:28 p.m. CST

    An observation.

    by adeceasedfan

    First off I read most talkbacks that I have interest in, so that included all of zarles posts. Second I LOVE G.I.Joe and am very excited to see this movie. My issue stems from what seemed like trolling and goes back to the Storm Shadow poster tb. It was the 1st news on Joe 2 in awhile, so I was excited. I came across zarles post which was something like 'I've seen it and it sucks.' No big deal. Sounds like typical hate that I ignore and I did along with everyone else. What followed in every Joe 2 related tb was zarles with 'Ive seen it and it sucks' which became 'Once again, I've seen it and it sucks!' This also seemed trollish, but also like a cry for attention. Nada. So that brings us here. This was uncool news indeed and getting it a day late (busy) made it worse. I was/am pissed at Paramount for the bs cover story. I personally think it was mostly because of Battleship. So here's zarles again with the same comments as before, but this time someone bit. Cool, now you get to talk about your alleged experience which is fine, but the posts were peppered with 'Believe me.' and 'I'm not lying here, folks.' and 'I really did see the entire film...' The lady doth protest too much, me thinks. I don't think I'm off base here. No one was really questioning you, so who cares. You must admit that with this and the vague descriptions that one could construe this as bs. If it's not, then hopefully they'll spend the next 9 months wisely. So I guess I pissed in your Action Stars cereal. Oh well.

  • May 28, 2012, 1:19 a.m. CST

    Blow me, ya fuckin' prick.

    by Zarles

    http://www.aintitcool.com/node/56034