Ain't It Cool News (



Ambush Bug here. The below hour-plus long conversation took place between myself and my fellow @$$holes Matt Adler, Optimous Douche, Humphrey Lee, and our host Johnny Destructo of as we talked about JUSTICE LEAGUE #9, NEW CRUSADERS #1, DANCER #1, INCREDIBLE HULK #7.1, HARDCORE #1, INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #517, DANGER CLUB #2, another rousing edition of @$$terpiece Theatre, and of course, more general jack@$$$ery!

Looks for more of the Holes rambling about comics on Poptards, follow us on Facebook here, and in future AICN COMICS columns!

Readers Talkback
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  • May 22, 2012, 10:14 a.m. CST


    by Joe


  • May 22, 2012, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Iron Man has boobs

    by CuervoJones

    just like Captain America.

  • Apparently an "iconic" DC character is going to come out as gay in June.. I'm guessing Barry Allen, or one of the older Robins.

  • May 22, 2012, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Wow, that was....aphasia inducing.

    by 3774

    1.) Hardcore was a great, great read. Bug was weirdly over-critical with it. Speaking of which... 2.) ...I'm surprised you guys didn't get Bug your usual 'racist accusations' when he pointed out Clark's appearance in JL. Speaking of which... 3.) ...there's no way in hell I'm picking up another issue of JL so soon. One positive review after 8 crappy issues? Nuuuhhh-oooope! Are you high? Speaking of which... 4.) The masterpiece theatre read was hilarious, as is now usual. So was someone's rendition of Private Dancer (maybe Bug?). I wish I could turn that into a ring tone. 5.) Usually when you guys do your guy humor thing, it's an eye-roll, shake-of-the-head and slight grin thing. But that Wonder Woman bit was just stupid, and went too far. 6.) Somehow I completely missed Dancer online and in promos. Thanks for pointing it out, I can't wait to take a peek. On a completely podcast-unrelated note, Fantastic Four 605.1 was....well....fantastic. I strongly recommend it to anyone who hasn't given it a flip.

  • May 22, 2012, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Bug Started Private Danceer

    by optimous_douche

    And I brought that Tina Turner shit Hooooooome

  • LOL definitely not the voice I would've given myself I have way more base.

  • May 22, 2012, 11:20 a.m. CST

    I totally did accuse Bug of racism

    by MattAdler

    Didn't you hear me insinuate that he was stereotyping the character because he was playing basketball?

  • May 22, 2012, 11:25 a.m. CST

    I've always assumed Bruce Wayne was gay...

    by 3774

    ...but I doubt DC would have the nerve to do something like that. They did state the character is iconic. I'm thinking if they were going to make it a Flash, Wally would make more sense somehow. I'd like to know what Homer thinks about it.

  • May 22, 2012, 11:27 a.m. CST

    ...and Iron Man does not have boobs. Rescue has boobs.

    by 3774

  • May 22, 2012, 11:31 a.m. CST

    I must have missed it. Sorry, Matt!

    by 3774

  • See for yourself:

  • May 22, 2012, 11:43 a.m. CST

    That pic is odd....

    by 3774

    ....but doesn't excuse the 'humor' imo. Not that anyone will care. Sidenote: Wonder Woman's nails are painted? That's....dumb, on many levels...

  • May 22, 2012, 11:48 a.m. CST

    LMBO WTF was that Assterpiece

    by Wcwlkr

    I would just embarass myself trying to guess that LOL.

  • May 22, 2012, 12:08 p.m. CST

    @Pinkl I see no good reason why Wonder Woman can't paint her nails...

    by Greg Nielsen

    She's a lady who likes looking nice. What's wrong with that?

  • May 22, 2012, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Wiat Women's Nails Aren't Naturally Green, Red, Black or Blue?

    by optimous_douche

  • May 22, 2012, 12:21 p.m. CST

    So Wonder Woman is coming out of the closet?

    by nerdator

    About frikkin' time!

  • any protests will go unread by me, since ignorance is, indeed...bliss. ;)

  • Hot lesbians are not ground-breaking, diversity empowerment. They are sex-appeal for straight men, masquerading as diversity empowerment (sorry, Optimus....but that lesbian porn you're fapping to doesn't qualify you as 'progressive'). I wonder what DC has up their sleeve...

  • May 22, 2012, 12:40 p.m. CST

    The new gay DC character is obvious...

    by Ambush Bug

    It's Rob Liefeld.

  • May 22, 2012, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Well I am happy to chime in...

    by Homer Sexual

    I saw that post about an "iconic" DC character coming out but I don't really believe it. Bruce Wayne totally makes sense, but NO WAY plus it's been done and now even in the new 52, Gay Batman and Gay Superman already exist. (BTW Gay Batman has the stupidest looking mask with a chin spike, but I digress). I hope its Barry Allen, cause he is the most boring character ever and this would give him some level of interesting-ness. If I had to guess, I think I'd say Green Lantern because he's iconic and, to my knowledge, doesn't have an extensive personal background in comics. I HATE ALL THINGS GREEN LANTERN so I hope I am wrong. A Robin? Well, Jason Todd would be easy but he is far from iconic. Dick Grayson is one of the biggest players ever and Damian is ten. So I don't think it's a Robin. OMG... maybe its Wonder Woman! Diana is a lesbian! That makes sense. And maybe a sexy lesbian would attract male readers. But Batwoman is already a sexy lesbian with an active love life, so that wouldn't be all that ground breaking. I can't think of any other iconic characters except Hawkman and Aquaman, and it won't be either of them unless Hawkman's story has really changed in the revamp. I actually think Obsidian was a pretty good rep of a gay superhero. But he is the opposite of "iconic." Even Marvel hasn't really done anyone iconic. Northstar is way too boyfriend-obsessed. Gay Ultimate Colossus was awesome back when he existed. The gay Rictor and bisexual Shatterstar couple is good, too. Ultimately, it would seem like a character who is iconic, but doesn't sell well, would be the most logical choice because maybe it will bump up sales. So at the end of my rambling Ima say either Green Lantern (but he does sell, I don't know how) and Wonder Woman (but that isn't really so suprising or interesting).

  • May 22, 2012, 12:45 p.m. CST

    I think Iconic is gonna be really relative on the gay character...

    by Greg Nielsen

    Even Vibe is iconic in the everyone hates him category

  • May 22, 2012, 12:54 p.m. CST

    My boyfriend is a pretty progressive guy...

    by 3774

    ...but I think making Hal gay would irritate the crap out of him (Green Lantern is his favorite book). Mostly because he's been trying to get me to read it by way of interesting me in Star Sapphire. Take that angle away and what interest I had for that book is gone. It started out kinda interesting, but I got bored with it.

  • May 22, 2012, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Maybe it'll be John Constantine

    by rev_skarekroe

    We already know he likes hard salami from time to time.

  • May 22, 2012, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Maybe it'll be Cyborg and it'll be the double token character...

    by Greg Nielsen

    Two for the price of one?

  • May 22, 2012, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Didn't Superman already come out in Superman Returns???

    by Samuel Fulmer

  • May 22, 2012, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Retconning stuff for shock and awe is stupid

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Make a new character and let his orientation be whatever, but don't change one for shock value, but then again this is DC we're talking about.

  • May 22, 2012, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Huge Boner to Make GL Gay

    by optimous_douche

    Even in the new universe he's already established as a poon hound. Likewise Barry Allen (well not a hound, but definite interest in the ladies). Bruce Wayne and Superman = Stupid. Just doesn't make sense within new canon We need to think of someone who has not had any exploration of their love life. Wonder Woman doesn't work because then you kill the whole Steve Trevor thread in JUSTICE LEAGUE. Why isn't anyone thinking villains here hmmmm?

  • May 22, 2012, 1:25 p.m. CST

    If "iconic" is really a misnomer...

    by Homer Sexual

    I'd guess Jason Todd. Some of the new 52 books are already revamping, so Hawkman is a possibility. I take back Green Lantern, because it is a popular comic, if not movie, so they wouldn't want to risk alienating the longtime fans. I have to admit I am more likely to buy a book with a gay lead or prominent character, so more than anything I hope it's done well.

  • May 22, 2012, 1:35 p.m. CST

    In bigger news Renee Montoya is back and she's straight...

    by Greg Nielsen

    just kidding

  • May 22, 2012, 1:41 p.m. CST

    Not Jason Todd

    by optimous_douche

    He already boned Starfire in new continuity.

  • May 22, 2012, 1:59 p.m. CST

    could it be..

    by John Baranick


  • May 22, 2012, 2:13 p.m. CST

    I believe it's Barry...

    by Ambush Bug

    He's a snappy dresser with the bow ties.

  • Captain Cold indeed

  • May 22, 2012, 2:45 p.m. CST

    I haven't read Flash in new 52...

    by Homer Sexual

    Cause Barry Allen is just not a character I've ever been interested in... And I do know Jason has boned Starfire, but I've boned a lot of women and I'm still gay. Plus, he just seems kinda like maybe... Probably Im just projecting because he has so much in common with Daken...

  • May 22, 2012, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Could be The Joker

    by rev_skarekroe

    Some writers portray him as a bit on the lavender side anyway.

  • May 22, 2012, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Bisexuals....the invisible majority.

    by 3774

    People should make more of an effort to point out the distinction, but they don't. Although Joe and Jane Q. Mouthbreather don't know (or don't care), there is a difference. Does DC mean actually gay, or do they mean bi? Because being gay doesn't hinge on who they slept with before. There's plenty of gay men who felt forced into the Love That Speaks Its Name, before leaping out of the closet and embracing the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name. Frankly, the story possibilities for being bi could be convoluted and interesting....

  • I hope once everyone is gay and bi-sexual then they can make a big deal out of straight characters...on the bright side since I'll be a sexual minority I'll get to be the supposedly impossibly artistically imbued type too...though probably not DC is coming off like the girl on Girls Gone Wild to piss off her dad Our society is mostly stupid and hypocritical... Although I have no clue why I am complaining cause it doesn't effect me and I was already reading Batwoman anyway, which Trevor McCarthy does a good Amy Reeder impersonation

  • May 22, 2012, 3:08 p.m. CST

    In short...this is all stupid, pandering and reactionary...

    by Greg Nielsen

    I'm glad I got that off my chest.

  • May 22, 2012, 3:14 p.m. CST


    by 3774

  • The original Starbuck!

  • That's why.

  • May 22, 2012, 3:35 p.m. CST

    How do you bone girls if you're gay

    by optimous_douche

    This is a serious's bothered me since my theater days in college when I was the only straight guy in the theater major house. I couldn't ask this of my roommates because they had only slept with guys. But...the physiology seems impossible to me. I get lesbians banging guys, because female physiology will allow for sex when the attraction is not there. But the physics of a gay guy boning girls baffles me. You have to be able to get it up - to do that attraction has to be in play for a man. Close your eyes and imagine? Again, I think if you could bone girls at one time at the DNA level your Bi. You might have ultimately decided you prefer men and made the gay lifestyle choice. But if the little soldier can rise for both genders. That's Bi right? Or am I just too suburban? Serious responses please, I truly am curious.

  • May 22, 2012, 3:39 p.m. CST

    @Pink...I'm not saying any of that is ok...

    by Greg Nielsen

    In fact you trying to trivialize and silence my questions/opinions is bullying. Just saying But we're still cool yo And yes you are right everyone has the right to live and live how they please but I have the right to ask questions and say what I want.

  • May 22, 2012, 3:39 p.m. CST

    @Optimous...I guess girls are just that sexy...

    by Greg Nielsen

    I know I find them to be

  • May 22, 2012, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Close your eyes and imagine

    by MattAdler

    What, you've never done that with a girl you weren't attracted to? :)

  • You are either a troll, or a tool, because it mocks actual victims. In either case, we are not cool, 'yo'.

  • again...I could just be dense Any who...let God sort it out. Like I said doesn't effect me one way or another...but the way people act about is driving me insane. We think gays are human which is why we are making a big deal out of them being different cause they are the same as me. It's just so goofy. Then again I also had gay cousins, aunts, and a bunch of gay people around me growing up and my parents never treated them differently. The church we went to never treated them as different (but they also weren't making out in the aisles and to be honest I never knew the difference) So, again. Might not have the most mainstream view.

  • May 22, 2012, 3:52 p.m. CST


    by 3774

    ...I agree. If they're aroused by both, I would consider them bi, not gay. But our society is so polar mindset to the point of neurotic that the shades between anything almost always get ignored. There's a strong current behind the 'everybody is a little just depends on how much' philosophy. Which is like saying very few people are completely straight or gay, and most people are bi...

  • May 22, 2012, 4:03 p.m. CST're seeming to misunderstand me...

    by Greg Nielsen

    I just don't see how them doing this would stop any of that. I also don't know how people don't see other people as human. I also don't get when people automatically feel the need to do tokenism like it'll do anything other than preach to the choir and rile up the people who are close minded anyway. It's cool though. I'm cool with you if you're not cool with me.

  • May 22, 2012, 4:12 p.m. CST

    I guess it's kind of a spectrum...

    by Homer Sexual

    Because if I put up numbers, I come down more on the straight side. But for the last ten years, only on the gay side. If guys were "allowed" to be bi, Id be more "bi" than I am, but I seriously think that only girls are bi in practice. I think that sounds ignorant, but not really. A girl can make out with another girl, etc, without making a lot of guys uncomfortable about being with them. Whereas if I tell a girl I recently had a d... in my... mouth... well, thats that... To Optimus: The excitement of a new relationship totally enables me to get it up. But on a regular basis, I can't. That's why I ultimately had to realize which team I play for. I can't keep working it and all my relationships failed after a period of time.... Whereas with a guy, I never have issues...

  • May 22, 2012, 4:17 p.m. CST

    To be fair...

    by MattAdler

    I don't think most straight guys would want to know about what their girls have had in their mouths, either.

  • cause I mean that's the way I see it. I really do think it's disrespectful to those who are, those who think it's wrong, and the rest of us who are just trucking along. But it's especially disrespectful to those who are

  • That's the stereotypes I've seen trotted out over and over again. My lesbian neighbors even admit doing it (stereotyping those tropes). The near-universal claim I've seen is, 'bi-men always end up settling down into 'gay', and bi-women always end up settling down into 'straight'. I'm not saying it's true. That's just what I've observed, which analytically speaking means very little.

  • Or to quote Whitney, 'you should shave and iron press those nasty things. They're disgusting!' She cracks me up so much.

  • May 22, 2012, 5 p.m. CST

    oh hey, that reminds me.....COMICS!

    by Poptard_JD

  • May 22, 2012, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Poptard_jd with probably the most cogent point of the day...

    by Greg Nielsen

    this has gotten quite weird...and admittedly I accidentally helped.

  • May 22, 2012, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Speaking of comics! Jeff Lemire starts his run on JL Dark tomorrow...

    by Greg Nielsen

    Excited! If only he was doing Voodoo too...I had to drop it with the whole pocket book thing.

  • May 22, 2012, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Lex Luthor

    by KCViking

    Would be my guess as to who "comes out" in June. I figure that since he has been featured in 3 movies (2 as the main villian) he is iconic enough to fall under that umbrella and not upend any previous storylines/characterizations. of course this is coming from someone who has never read Superman on a regular basis and has no idea how he's been portrayed.

  • May 22, 2012, 7:25 p.m. CST

    Oh gay stuff.... you're so gay.

    by Xenodistortion

    Two words: BOOSTER GOLD. He's from the future, where nobody gives a rat's ass if you chug cock. Personally, there needs to be MORE gay people in this world. Let them marry. Let them adopt. Let them pick our drapes out. This world is overpopulated and ugly, neither of which homosexuals are responsible for (Unless you count Tom Cruise). Do it up fuchsia!

  • May 22, 2012, 9:03 p.m. CST

    On who may be Gay. . .

    by jtishere

    Just a few observations: 1. The character would be someone who has never had a same-sex "kid sidekick." Backlash, big time, with speculation on what happened. Therefore, not Batman, Green Arrow, Flash, Aquaman. 2. No one with a history of marriage to a person of the opposite sex. Too much of a stretch to believe some hero would go that far (or even a villain). Therefore, no Superman, Black Canary, Flash, Hawkman. 3. No one with a psychosis. Such would offend gays. Therefore, not the Joker, Two-Face, etc. My candidates would include the Atom, Plastic Man, John Stewart/Green Lantern.

  • May 22, 2012, 9:38 p.m. CST

    The Only Problem With These Guesses

    by optimous_douche

    Is that the press release said "iconic" character. Not someone we pretty much obliterated or relegated to the sidelines during the reboot.

  • ...I think jtishere hit it dead on. John Stewart/Green Lantern. That's my official guess. Ya get one pick. Not who you want per se, but who you think it'll be. Who is it?

  • May 22, 2012, 10:56 p.m. CST

    Wait, I take it back!

    by 3774

    Kyle Rayner is my pick, unless someone can point out a marriage or something. They'll try to boost New Guardians sales with it. An ensemble book makes it less 'risky'. Yup. That's it. That's my official guess.

  • May 22, 2012, 10:56 p.m. CST

    Pandering is a tricky concept...

    by Homer Sexual

    Apologies in advance for doing this.... This TB has often discussed the fact that white guys dominate comics because white guys buy comics and people like to read about someone they can relate to. Or sometimes imagine being, I suppose. So even if it is pandering, I hope it's someone who might at least be kind of cool. NOT LEX LUTHOR... while that might make sense, I don't think it would accomplish what DC wants, it wouldn't make anyone happy..would it? What I hate to do but must is bring up Miles Morales. Is he pandering? Is Batgirl pandering? I think the more types represented, the better. We all want to see ourselves.

  • May 22, 2012, 11:41 p.m. CST

    This talk of pandering is absolute non-sense.

    by 3774

    What's pandering is almost-exclusively catering to white, straight men with a wildly-disproportionate ratio of like characters. Crying 'pandering' when a bit of diversity reality is reflected in the media demographic reminds me of clowns that babble about 'reverse racism' (a literally *impossible* concept - take a sociology class) or the 'war on christianity' (a manipulative logical fallacy - take a political science class). In the end, protests against anything that upset the status quo are from a reaction of fear over loss of status and power (which people probably don't even realize - take a psychology class). Failing to make any real effort to market to women and minorities, for decades, and then blame women and minorities for lack of marketing because they don't buy comics? Herp. Having some of the privileged demographic whine about it as 'pandering' when attempts are made? Derp.

  • May 26, 2012, 9:04 p.m. CST

    It's sure not gonna be someone who's gonna be in a movie thats for sure

    by 2mules4sistersarah

    or even is part of a major characters pantheon. Anything could hurt the profit margin or cause controversy for any DC related movies in the future is going to factor in who DC "outs". Barry Allen does make sense for a lot of reasons: midwest type of white collar guy with working class ethic. Doesn't live in a liberal part of the nation and is the type of guy you'd want as co-worker, neighbor and have a beer with. And not to drag politics into it, is probally a conservative republican (pre tea party that is) who votes republican all the time.

  • May 26, 2012, 9:07 p.m. CST

    By major character I should clarify that

    by 2mules4sistersarah

    As Batman and Superman's pantheon. As DC seems to only be able to get those characters to be successful on the big screen and that the public knows at this time.