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Do you like boobies in 3D? Do you like Exploitive Fun all a smackin' you upside the eyeballs? PIRANHA 3DD - Free Screening - Austin with John Gulager in Attendance!!!
Hey folks, Harry here... Alright - enough of the family friendly stuff... it's time to get raunchy. I'm a sucker for this franchise - going all the way back to Joe Dante's original - which had Phil Tippet designed Piranha - and set the tone for all that followed. There will be skin. There will be blood. And there are weird, not exactly Piranhas, but mean ugly and slightly cute buggers that just love to strip meat from the bone. In Aja's relaunch of the epic PIRANHA franchise - he made these biting bastards even more comedic than they had been before. And really, didn't we all need to see a fish vomit forth a cock and then eat it again? I mean - we needed that. This time, they're bringing in David Hasslehoff - and while I have seen Hasslehoff's penis upside down in a room full of bubbles - and his character name was "Boner" (REVENGE OF THE CHEERLEADERS) - I'm betting it won't be repeated in this film... but then this is directed by John Gulager - and he's game for all the right wrong things!
Alright - after a clip like that - you're now wondering... Hasselhoff's penis is underwater... there are obviously Piranha in the pool due to all the blood. Will the Hoff cock survive?
Join me this Wednesday as we all become investigative journalist seeking the truth! Now the kind of audience I'm seeking for this have raunch in their blood. SO - how do you get in to this free screening this Wednesday, May 23rd at 7:30pm at the Alamo Drafthouse on South Lamar? Where you're allowed to drink as much alcohol as your bladder can hold for a movie!
First, send an email to hk at aintitcool.com with the subject line:
Show me blood, guts & private parts at the Alamo Drafthouse now!!!
then in the body of your email list your full name and the names of up to 3 of your raunchiest lovers, friends & co-conspirators.
This is first come first serve - but take the time to tell me the grossest thing that one of your guests or yourself have done. No gross no tickets.
See you there!!!
Readers Talkback
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May 21, 2012, 10:46 p.m. CST
Cool with Harry giving away free tickets, and it's at the Alamo, but this movie doesn't look good.
by CodeName
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I like boobies in 3D. Who wouldn't?
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Well - if you want to see PIRANHA 3DD... you'll probably like what you're going to see. The first film was pretty raunchy & this one has a tit joke in the title - so of course it isn't going to be a poignant work of class & style... it's gonna be crass and in your face. If it fucks that up, then it's time to pull out the meat cleaver and keyboard.
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Hell yeah I like boobies in 3D! Bring on them bikini’d nymphs dammit! Loved Christopher Lloyd’s awesome Doc Brown turn as Dr. Exposition, and Jerry O’Connell’s ruthlessly energetic (and maybe libelous?) skewering of Girls Gone Wild weirdo Joe Francis in the last movie.
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He directed Feast and is a stand up guy. Plus his dad was in The Killers with Lee Marvin (aka: GOD). Also, the last Piranha was fucking awesome so I'll give this one a shot (despite no Alex Aja).
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You did what? You opened it? You stupid moron! You idiot! What's the matter with you Frank? Haven't I already told you never to even go near those goddamn tanks?
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why yes, yes i do.
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Nice! Return of The Living Dead is the second best movie he's been in I think. Clue is a god damn legend who's been in a ridiculous amount of awesome things.
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Missing Austin right now.
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This film is out in the UK, and it is one of the worst films I've ever seen at the cinema. I enjoyed the hell out of the 'first' Pirahna, but this one is just feeble, despite a half-decent premise. It has boobs in it, but so does 80% of the internet. For free.
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Love the first one, tons of fun and I loved Feast but this movie is terrible on every level.
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When you do see it, you'll see a director completely miss the point of what made the first one so fun.
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So, no grave rolling.
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I'm usually all in favour of some trashy exploitation horror.. but this is not only is not very scary, not very gory and just badly done... but it is also very UNfunny. You're not laughing with it, nor at it... you're just not laughing at all! Check out my full review here http://wp.me/p19wJ2-xt
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May 22, 2012, 10:50 a.m. CST
@creeper. Maybe Dante already purchased his plot, and after seeing this film dug the hole, jumped in, and rolled around a bit as practice?
by AlienFanatic
As far as Harry's comments go, I wish I could un-read them. My god, he's obsessed with sex. You can pick him out at the Alamo as the guy with the red hair with both hands below the table with the one-gallon jug of K-Y on top.
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May 22, 2012, 11:56 a.m. CST
Give Joe Dante money to make more films instead of this shit
by Gorgomel
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Piranha 3-D was a welcome surprise of Camp, Gore and Excess! That was, surprisingly, a fun time at the movies! Piranha 3DD looks to SUCK on every level imaginable. How many times has its release been delayed??! Fuck this movie (and I was looking forward to it when it was supposed to be released LAST YEAR!)
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...and isn't trying to be in his 20's still. Maybe Stallone can take the hint...
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I don't live in Bumfuck, Alabama here. But damned if anything EVER happens in Atlanta. You're either in Austin, LA, Chicago or NYC or apparently you can fuck off. Really sucks, because I'd be all over so many of these events, but I guess since I'm backwards-ass enough to have the nerve to live in the bible belt, I'll get noting and like it. Oh, well. :-\
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Nehver sayd I had no schoolin', tho.
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it has none of the b-movie feel of the last film, the 3d is possibly the worst I have ever seen and if your are only goin to see it for the double d's don't bother there are twice as much in the first, I was looking forward to seeing this film, as I enjoyed the first one, the only redeeming parts of the film is David hasslehoff who is funny for all his 10mins screen time
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No offense to anyone, but this would work a LOT better for me if the boobs in question were softer and well, real.
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We're working on more stuff in Atlanta. It just takes time.
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Oh dear. Pass.
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Titties!!! Yay
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bummer. I was looking forward to this one
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Thanks!! Sorry for the rant. I just found out that Peter Gabriel is touring the US and leaving out my entire region, so I think I was letting out a bit of pent-up frustration there. lol Keep us posted!
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Fortunately he is playing near me. Never seen him live before and he's top of the list of performers I want to see.
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May 23, 2012, 6:12 p.m. CST
logan1973: was watching some expendibles and trying to pump my arms to look like a 70 year old
by UltraTron
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May 23, 2012, 6:14 p.m. CST
Imagine diving into a world comprised completely of boobs and de-clawed kittens and just rolling around. That's the feeling this woman evokes that I met last night
by UltraTron
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Any day of the week. Although, some foobies are fun every once in a while. And in 3D... I don't think I'll mind.
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I slightly grinned when the Baywatch theme started, but that was about it. It wasn't even "bad funny". Not so sure about this.
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May 23, 2012, 6:47 p.m. CST
@ultratron: HAHAHA! Awesome. A world of boobs and declawed kittens. Hilarity, my friend!
by Kremzeek
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