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Nordling's Spoiler Review Of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS! Talkbackers Discuss!

Published at: April 14, 2012, 9:19 a.m. CST by Nordling

Nordling here.

So, you've seen CABIN IN THE WOODS, and want to talk about it.

First off, there's no way to truly spoil the plot of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS.  Well, there is, but it's only a basic plot point, and not even a third of the way in the movie, you have 90% of the information already.  The reason critics have been so reticent to get into it in their reviews is that the way CABIN unfolds itself is much of the fun, and reputable critics don't want to take that away from the audience.  The machinations of the guys in the basement are pretty obvious from the very first scene.

Of course, there is the cameo, which got spoiled right after SXSW, but even that's telegraphed in the movie.  Sigourney Weaver's presence in the movie validates the themes that are being presented, but even knowing she's going to turn up isn't any kind of dealbreaker.  Again, much of the fun of the movie is in the execution.

No, the real spoiler is thematic, and it has to do with the true villain of the movie.  The Elder Gods, to whom this entire endeavor is for.  And it's a pretty bold place for Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon to go.

You know we're the villain in THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, right?

Us.  Horror fans, or just genre fans, or just movie geeks in general.  We are the Old Gods who demand our sacrifices be just so, and when we don't get them, well, we metaphorically destroy the world.  We require our servants to manipulate the scenes to our liking, and we insist that the resolution go how we want it to go.

We say we want to see something different in movies, but we really don't.  If that were true, there wouldn't be so many movies based on other sources, and when a minor change happens that we don't like, we throw a hissy fit.  Remember the fuss over LORD OF THE RINGS when fans of the books didn't get their Tom Bombadil in the movie?  All these superhero movies where the casting isn't just right?  Hell, there were people who didn't like THE MUPPETS because the filmmakers couldn't somehow bring Jim Henson back from the dead.  

We are at once fickle, demanding, and raging, and it's no wonder that we get the level of pandering and unsatisfactory movies that we do.  This isn't a blanket condemnation of the movies we've been getting these past few years - most of them have been perfectly fine.  But we all have to admit - and I've been guilty of it myself - that we want what we want, and we can rage like babies when we don't get it.

There's very little surprise in cinema anymore, and I'm not talking about "twists", or, how they should probably be referred to these days, Shyamalans.  Even twists are heavily telegraphed these days - nothing comes out of the blue.  No, what I'm taking about is submitting to the filmmakers and letting them take us on an unexpected journey to places that we may not want to go, but trusting them to see us through.  And yes, sometimes those filmmakers betray our trust, but that should never stop any movie geek from not wanting to take that journey whenever it's offered.

Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard understand that.  And so they give us a look behind the curtain - metaphorically, anyway - in THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, and the result is a validation more than anything about why we should give filmmakers more leeway to make their art, and why our own demands are perhaps what's making some genre movies... well, suck, for lack of a better word.

It's why a movie like TRANSFORMERS gets made - the guys in the booth are trying to feed the beast what it wants.  Well, the beast wants cheeseburgers because the beast has never been let out of the cage to try other things.  And so that's all we get, all summer long.  Cheeseburgers.  That's not a diet.  That's simply pandering.  And if I want anyone to take anything from THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, it's that pandering isn't good for anyone - not the people behind the scenes, and not we the film audience.

To say THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is meta is an understatement - it flings away ideas that other, lesser horror movies would make as their central thesis.  There is a challenge thrown down in CABIN for not just other filmmakers but movie fans as well - expect MORE.  Don't just be satisfied when you see the sexy explosion robot monster Jedi.  Sometimes - giving us what we want?  That doesn't do anyone any good.  It makes the artists fail to grow as artists and the viewers fail to grow as viewers.  It's the filmmakers job to challenge, to be innovative.  When new art is made, out there in the world, and it shifts the paradigm - that's always, ALWAYS something to be celebrated, even if that art takes us places that we either never expected to go or didn't want to go.  And I'm not talking about being offensive just to be offensive, like Tom Six's work. No, I'm talking about a theme that changes perspective, and that forces us to deal with it, and perhaps changes our views a little bit.

We're so entrenched now, underground, depending on those guys in the room to pull the right levers to entertain and to feed us what we want.  At the end of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, when those elder gods destroy everything, it's a celebration.  Let's crack this planet open and figure out for ourselves what's next.  That's what great horror - hell, great genre filmmaking - can do, and it's something I hope to find every time I sit down to a movie.

On a more basic level, CABIN is playing with genre conventions.  Once The Purge happens, it's one of the most triumphant moments in horror cinema, in my opinion.  That sequence takes us to where the monsters really dwell, and it's glorious.  CABIN isn't a deconstruction of the horror genre, like some people claim.  No, what it is is a celebration of it, and at the same time it pulls back the curtain and lets us know as viewers that we shouldn't always rely on this system to give us what we need.  Instead, let's just bring the whole thing down to its foundations and start new.  Change is good, especially when the old conventions have us predicting the outcome well before we get it.

There's lots of great horror that plays with convention but none of them ever really blow it apart like CABIN does, and what I really want is for us to find something in the wreckage and make something amazing with it.  To filmmakers, or at least horror producers - you're going to be looking for that special something to take from CABIN in which to make more movies, and dollars to donuts what comes out of it, 75% of it is going to be crap.  If you want to take anything from CABIN IN THE WOODS, it's this - don't be afraid to see it through.  Don't pander.  You want to take audiences to a dark place, and leave them to find their way back?  Go ahead, if you can do it with taste and intelligence.  Hell, you don't even need taste.  Great movies, no matter what genre they are in, require work - work from the audience, not to just go where you lead them but to find the end on their own.  And you might be surprised to find out that movie fans like the work.  I'll do the heavy lifting.  It makes me feel alive.

There's a great line in JURASSIC PARK - "T-Rex doesn't want to be fed.  It wants to hunt."  It's time to start hunting.

Feel free to discuss THE CABIN IN THE WOODS below.  No holds barred.

Nordling, out.  Follow me on Twitter!

Readers Talkback

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  • April 14, 2012, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Loved the movie, good write up

    by SupermanIsMyGod

  • April 14, 2012, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Beautifully said.

    by BlaGyver

  • April 14, 2012, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Well written, Nord. And CABIN really is a breath of fresh air

    by Logan_1973

    Fresh look at an old genre that doesn't become a parody or a spoof. The world needs more of this and less of the found-footage drek.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:32 a.m. CST

    some have called this the next scream

    by SupermanIsMyGod

    But I totally disagree. This won't be a franchise, for one. Also, scream led to the rebirth of slasher flicks in general, while Cabin is very much it's own thing and can't be duplicated or copied. I'm reminded of the famous Kirby quote where he sud something like "if you want to honor me, don't do what I do, do what you do". That's what the legacy of Cabin can be, outside the box genre films. If, of course, the movie makes money. If it pulls a Scott Pilgrim at the box office, get ready for more Freddy/Jason/Michael Myers rehashes/remakes/reboots or reimagining sequel prequels. Because like you say, people don't really want something new, they want what they already had. If you truly loved Cabin, it's your duty as a film fan to see it again, recruit others to go, or even buy a ticket to Cabin and go see something else.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Finally, a movie that actually lives up to the hype.

    by MangoPositive

    OK, there are plenty of them (I loved the Grey as well), but I do usually leave those "trust me this movie is great" movies feeling a bit underwhelmed. Not so here. FINALLY, the pot head is the hero. Unicorns & Mermen. There was a shot of the betting board where they list a bunch of the monsters. The "Deadites" were there. Witches, Sexy Witches, and... Kevin? I want to see Kevin's movie. http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i45/cyberkirby/IMG_0307 .jpg

  • April 14, 2012, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Laughed outloud a few times, but overall felt it was overhyped

    by Dursman2000

    The film wasn't scary, and dramatically, didn't engage me. Granted I did laugh a whole bunch of times, but ultimately I didn't think it amounted to anything but an occasionally clever spoof that would give "insiders" something to laugh at. It came across like a lark that Whedon and Goddard threw together over a weekend.

  • People laughed throughout the movie when I saw it -- throughout, even during the "serious" moments. I mean, did you actually think the film was scary? Ever? Any sense of tension was continuously undercut when they'd go back to the Jenkins/Whitford control room scenes.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:37 a.m. CST

    I didn't know unicorns were monsters.

    by bat725

    Ya learn something new everyday.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:38 a.m. CST

    mangopositive

    by Nordling

    Thanks for the pic, updated.

  • I had fun. But, I'm a fucking nerd.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Smaller Moments

    by The_Ordi

    *Spoiler* That was the perfect sentiment for a film that speaks in volumes. In the moment when Dana's newly acquired (butcher?) knife is subtly zapped out of her hands, I felt that I was watching something that spoke directly to me. When watching horror films, I become agitated when people get upset with the protagonist for making dumb decisions (like, dropping the knife) and my response is always, "It's in the script. Stop getting upset, we're just watching this so they can make dumb decisions and revel in the kill." This one moment (the zap) was actually the icing on the cake for me. It not only consoled me for the countless years of wishing that the genre could deliver a multiplex distributed, nicely budgeted horror experience but it also treated me like an adult, delivering that same ascension that the first Scream did in the first 10min so many years ago. I am extremely proud of Cabin In the Woods.

  • The trailer for Burning Moon, however...

  • April 14, 2012, 9:51 a.m. CST

    The Chris Hemsworth death scene was comedic gold.

    by bat725

  • April 14, 2012, 9:53 a.m. CST

    Listen...

    by isildur29

    There are plenty of good original works every year. Hate them of love them last year had some fantastic original filmmaking and some even better television writing. If Joss Whedon wrote this as some big deep commentary on why we should demand more I say we already do demand more and then those who want it always find it. The assholes who bitch on the internet are a small portion of the population but guess what!?!?! they still go see and watch all the shit hollywood churns out!

  • April 14, 2012, 9:53 a.m. CST

    "Angry Molesting Tree" - Classic.

    by bat725

  • April 14, 2012, 9:54 a.m. CST

    CABIN isn't particularly scary, no.

    by Nordling

    I still think it's a valid horror film, but no, at no point does CABIN scare you, unless you're just one of those people that jumps at everything. CABIN doesn't take you to a "dark place", no, but I don't want filmmakers afraid to do that, and it's not in CABIN to go especially dark. It's more about the ideas that the movie has more than anything.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Hahaha, Kevin is probably a Jason sendup.

    by BlaGyver

    I'm also gonna let myself believe that "green lantern" is the one that security bet on. Don't ruin this for me.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:55 a.m. CST

    And I said this in a previous talkback, but...

    by BlaGyver

    I love the IMPLICATIONS of this movie. The things that aren't on the screen, mainly that they "explain" how remakes and sequels happen.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:56 a.m. CST

    So, judging by the sign and who placed bets there...

    by Nordling

    No one needed to talk about Kevin.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:57 a.m. CST

    The Hell Lord was supposed to be a Cenobite, no?

    by bat725

    Clever. The whole movie was clever and had me thinking about it all night and this morning (a true sign of a good movie). But, damn, I wish they would've explained where they got all the monsters!

  • April 14, 2012, 9:57 a.m. CST

    I bet the story department picks Deadites every year.

    by Nordling

    Hah!

  • April 14, 2012, 9:58 a.m. CST

    I thought it was Kevin from We Need to Talk About Kevin.

    by bat725

  • April 14, 2012, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Nice review! Question about Weaver...

    by pointyskull

    You mention Weaver's presence was telegraphed. How so? I guess because Whedon wrote 'Alien: Resurrection' I get why she's there - just didn't feel it was telegraphed. Unless I missed something...

  • April 14, 2012, 10 a.m. CST

    pointyskull

    by Nordling

    We hear her voice on the phone and the intercom. They talk about the Director a lot, and I assumed that that character would be a pretty iconic part.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:01 a.m. CST

    We have alot of Elders rumbling about TDKR these days.

    by Kamaji

    We've heard me rumbling that Bane isn't big enough, Catwoman isn't sexy enough. 4 years ago, they were pitching a fit when a scraggly green-haired freak took on the title of Joker.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:04 a.m. CST

    The Whitford death scene was comedy gold

    by Dursman2000

    Audience was laughing so hard I could hardly hear his reaction to the...umm, creature...that gets him. Wasn't as crazy about the film as everyone else, but that individual moment was classic

  • April 14, 2012, 10:04 a.m. CST

    One small detail I loved....

    by john

    were the moments where the characters were figuring out what was happening to them - meaning the zombies and the book in latin - before they even knew about the people behind the curtain. Everyone other than them somewhat know what's going on, but they're still in their own "horror movie" trying to piece things together just like Ash and t he gang before them.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Kevin

    by MangoPositive

  • April 14, 2012, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Kevin

    by MangoPositive

    Wasn't "We Need To Talk About Kevin" made way after "The Cabin In The Woods"?

  • April 14, 2012, 10:18 a.m. CST

    I thought that ... Kevin ...

    by DrMorbius

    was a reference to ... Kevin Smith ... HAH Oh, the Horror ...

  • April 14, 2012, 10:20 a.m. CST

    ... WAIT! I'm still on speakerphone aren't I?

    by DrMorbius

  • April 14, 2012, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Audiences are not necessarily complacent.

    by Jason

    Serious moviegoers like to talk about how the masses have terrible tastes when it comes to movies. I disagree. If the masses know about a good movie, they'll come to it. The problem is that the masses are not always aware of the best movies. A friend and I saw The Shawshank Redemption on opening night in a theater that was only filled to roughly 20% capacity. The public just did not know about it. I mean, how exactly does one market a movie called, "The Shawshank Redemption", that takes place in a prison? Once the movie hit the basic cable channels, though, it flew into the stratosphere. It's a great movie, and the masses loved it once it hovered into their radars. Yes, there are times when we want to be easy-going and watch a familiar formula movie for fun, but most of us also want to see movies that surprise and challenge us. I saw The Cabin in the Woods last night, and I enjoyed how it tinkered with our expectations at every turn. It's an interesting social commentary about how we often sacrifice our freedom for entertainment, just as people did in Roman arena times. I just wish that The Cabin in the Woods had actually been scary.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Hunger Games

    by BeMoreFunny

    They should not have released Cabin when Hunger was still on everyone's mind. Feels totally derivative--sacrificing young people, organized by a powerful government organization--even though it was made years ago. Shitty timing and will probably ruin it for some people. Also it was a bit disappointing that the monsters they choose to feature were fucking zombies--olde time masochistic zombies with backstory, sure, but still fucking zombies. Haven't we had enough of them? How much cooler would, say, almost any other monster have been? We get to see bits and pieces of cool other monsters at the end, but spending more time with them in the actual cabin scenes would have been cool.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:36 a.m. CST

    KEVIN? Probably a version of JASON from Friday the 13th.

    by DementedCaver

    Just my humble opinion...since there was also a version of Pinhead (Bladehead)? I was enjoying this movie pretty well....but THE PURGE sold me on this being a classic (of its genre)...plus the ending was Carpenter Balzy. Loved it....but if anybody tried to make a sequel by negating the end I'll SCREAM.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:38 a.m. CST

    I've been hearing about this movie for too long...

    by Steve

    a little overhyped. The overhyping made my expectations way too high. Unicorn kill scene was great. The Raid on the other hand, totally underhyped. If you have testicles, or ever wanted them, go see this.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:38 a.m. CST

    @inspectorjason

    by Mono

    I think you may be remembering that incorrectly. (I'm not looking at numbers, but I remember things differently...) I don't know how well Shawshank did initially, but when the Oscar nominations came out, it was re-released to theaters and sold out shows (at least in my city) for weeks at a time. I saw it a few times during that second run, and it was packed every time. It must have had, at least, a moderately successful box office run. Everyone I knew saw it. Everyone was talking about it that year.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:39 a.m. CST

    CABIN goes to a 'dark place'.

    by blackwood

    There is one sequence I thought was pretty dark, and not playful like the rest: when the control room starts celebrating their success and what could be last moments of the virgin play out gruesomely on the screens in the background. Miraculously, I had no idea about the Sigourney cameo. For the majority of the film I actually thought the Director was God.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Excellent article, Nordling

    by John Brown

    Top-notch analysis and reflection.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:50 a.m. CST

    I kind of hope the movie does flop, and I'll tell you why.

    by bat725

    I don't want an unimaginative sequel every year like Saw and PA. I also don't want a plethora of knock-offs like we saw during the Scream-who-dunnit-slasher era.

  • I remember being surprised and impressed by movies like Seven, Scream, and The Matrix, in the way they altered and then affected the style of following movies but this wasn't a big deal for me..... Maybe i'm outside the target audience a bit as i'm sure younger crowds (15 - 20) probably see this as a big departure from the norm, but this seasoned movie vet' (26) remembers things differently than these whippersnappers! I think the problem is that over the past 6 or 7 years words like 'epic' and 'amazing' get tagged on just about anything, the standard of visual effects has made huge leaps recently, but the level of storytelling is so shit and retarded in mainstream cinema today that it's reached a point where mediocre is the new 'epic' I thought the premise was pretty promising but the movie just fell into the usual 'throw everthing at the screen for the final act' territory.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:54 a.m. CST

    this movie is a litmus test..

    by torpor_haze

    If you came out of this movie with opinion "That sucked!!", it means you worship the Old Gods.

  • Truly outside-the-box.

  • April 14, 2012, 11 a.m. CST

    ANGRY MOLESTING TREE

    by Uncle Pooky

    greatest name ever

  • I would imagine how "Sexy Women" could be a horror device. It made me laugh, mistake on my part or not. It's that kind of movie.

  • April 14, 2012, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Glaring Plot Hole?

    by Fortunesfool

    After each death we see (what would sensibly be) the victims blood run down into their respective sacrificial icon. How then does stoner guy survive when he's been drained of blood? Fun, clever movie but lets not get carried away. It's better written than it is directed. Still, compared to your average shit remake horror drivel it's something of a masterpiece.

  • "They" say we lost the invention of concrete for 1000 years after the fall of Rome. With any luck, if this is as successful as I hope it is, studios will embrace the newer ideas this film is trying to encourage. Time will tell I guess. Freakin loved this movie. Great homages to classics. Jenkins and Whitford should team up to fight crime. The purge...HELLDAMNSHIT!! Two problems: My bong has never been more inadequate; and I hope this doesn't get ruined with The Cabin in the Woods II: The Legend of Curly's Gold.

  • April 14, 2012, 11:04 a.m. CST

    @dementedcaver: yes

    by tailhook

    i had been trying to place that ending. With the chick and guy smoking having realized they were going to die. A takeoff on the end of The Thing. Thanks. I also liked how everybody on the control side were all old fucks and the one younger dude there(the black guy) kept being the one with somewhat of a conscience.

  • April 14, 2012, 11:05 a.m. CST

    @drstrangerlove

    by blackwood

    I'm struggling to think of another modern film that 'threw everything' at the screen in the final act the way this one does -- not just in terms of the chaos, but the way it follows through on its premise. Example?

  • April 14, 2012, 11:09 a.m. CST

    One word:

    by Matt Goodman

    Merman

  • April 14, 2012, 11:18 a.m. CST

    Spot-on criticism, Nordling.

    by gotilk

    And I don't mean of the film itself. Although the review is great. For a moment, I actually felt like the film was a direct response to the people who screamed and wailed at the end of LOST. Of course it's not... not directly. But that was going through my mind a few times. You could really apply it to anyone who has ever felt *cheated* by a TV show or a film. (not to say that I didn't feel that way, or wasn't one of THOSE people..... I was) MUST see it again, and bring people to it. This is one of those films that you have to share with others. *Turn them on* to it. Brilliant!

  • April 14, 2012, 11:20 a.m. CST

    two words:

    by Fortunesfool

  • April 14, 2012, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Husbands bulge

    by Fortunesfool

  • April 14, 2012, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Also, was it just me that was a bit pissed off with the 'audience' digs

    by Fortunesfool

    I was ready for the last shot of the movie to be a survivor staring accusingly into camera. It's one of the big problems I had with the film. If you're gonna lecture me for enjoying the 'stuff' then you can shove your smart ass film right up your 'smart' ass.

  • April 14, 2012, 11:42 a.m. CST

    @fortunesfool, re: plothole

    by spikeandjezebel

    *spoiler* The blood draining into the altar was not the actual blood from the victims; It was triggered by the operating crew seeing that the particular victim had been killed over the cameras. That's the reason why the sacrifices ultimately didn't work, and the Old Gods burst out - because the operators made a mistake, triggering off the blood when the "fool" hadn't actually been killed yet.

  • April 14, 2012, 11:45 a.m. CST

    @fortunesfool

    by silentjay

    I don't think that was the victims' blood. Didn't the mechanism break open some sort of vial or container with blood in it?

  • April 14, 2012, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Loved this

    by NoQuarter

    I'm not a horror buff. I enjoy really good horror and really, really bad horror but not really anything in between. But this was just so much fucking fun from start to finish. I don't care at all that it wasn't scary. I didn't need it to be. The unicorn seen was quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen in a movie in a long, long time. Score one for the Buffy alumni!

  • April 14, 2012, 11:48 a.m. CST

    only real question is

    by yourSTEPDADDY

    does the japanese not have to abide by the five archetype rule or is this when the different culture, different rules come in?

  • April 14, 2012, 11:51 a.m. CST

    No sequel...

    by jgsugden

    There will be sequel from the team that made the film. If you read any Goddard / Whedon interviews, they often say the same thing: The story drives the project. If the story is complete, they're not going to retell/add to it. What I think would be a good addition to the franchise: A video game. You choose one of five roles. Then the game starts in the basement with you selecting a cursed item. You try to survive the horror film scenario as a sort of 'training mission', but the real game takes off when you break into the basement and you try to get past the guards and/or monsters. I'm imagining Doom updated with hundreds of monster types.

  • April 14, 2012, 11:53 a.m. CST

    @ by yourstepdaddy

    by spikeandjezebel

    There's a line by either Whitford or Jenkins (can't remember which off the top of my head) when he is explaining the rules, and he says that there must be "at least five" victims, implying that there can be more than five.

  • April 14, 2012, noon CST

    I enjoyed and understood all of it except

    by MrDexter

    The references to Hemsworth's cousin. Obviously, not his cousin's cabin. Can someone enlighten me?

  • April 14, 2012, 12:03 p.m. CST

    I have absolutely no interest in this film.

    by HelveticaConspiracy

    Joss Whedon is one of the most overrated hacks working today. I know, I know: Geek blasphemy! But, for me, his writing always comes off as stilted and pretentious. I hate that you always hear his voice in his characters, and not the character as a fully realized individual. It's always this wink-wink, look at me, style of writing. I want to go see a story, not a self conscious, 'ironic' snark fest. It ruins the viewing experience for me. Every single work from Whedon is the exact same experience. Buffy (I know, I know), Angel, Dollhouse, everything. Whedon doesn't care about the logic of the world he creates, he just wants ciphers for his 'witty' dialogue. I don't care about any of his characters, because they're not real characters. They're one dimensional cliches. I've tried to get interested in this movie, I really have. But, everything I see and read about it just confirms my problems with Whedon. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it, but I'll be staying far away from it. And, here's to hoping that Whedon doesn't bring his tired baggage to Avengers.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:14 p.m. CST

    @spike and silentjay - Thanks. Must have missed that.

    by Fortunesfool

  • April 14, 2012, 12:19 p.m. CST

    But really? Hoping it will fail just so no sequels are made?

    by gotilk

    Just.... don't go see them! Aspergers?

  • April 14, 2012, 12:21 p.m. CST

    @bat725

    by Guy Steele

    The explanation is simple: the cages held known nightmares. And they would be let loose based on how the sacrificial lambs would unknowingly choose down in the basement.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Actually for me...

    by Guy Steele

    My favorite part of this movie and of course the best written and most fun: were the times spent in the labs. These mundane lab workers, their office betting pools, parties and office politics were spot on and funny. IMHO

  • April 14, 2012, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Excellent film, but spoiler question:

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    Who was the saboteur? They said something went wrong with the circuit board that was supposed to cave the tunnel. Was it supposed to be Truman, the black dude? Anyways, great movie. If ya don't like Joss, a fanboy like most people on here, then sometimes, his shit is usually too smart for people. Saw it at a packed house in NYC and people clapped at the end. Loved the bong-killer!

  • April 14, 2012, 12:38 p.m. CST

    severly overhyped

    by Paul Paradis

    It was a good film, but they wasted a ton of potential. I wouldn't classify it as scary either. Like many others I laughed through most of the movie. The director reveal was ho hum. If it was that important, she would have showed up armed to the teeth, and blown the two remaining kids away. It's also kind of odd the slaughter of the entire complex didnt satisfy the grumpy gods.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:41 p.m. CST

    toughguyrizzo

    by kibbled

    I thought the Elder Gods was the saboteur. The Gods wants to see something different so they threw a bunch of glitches into the system just to see what would happen. According to this review the Elder Gods represent us and now is the time to see something different.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:41 p.m. CST

    @by yourstepdaddy

    by Gil Brooks

    The Director says, at the end, that different cultures have different versions of the ritual.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Bat725

    by Relentless85

    They do explain it. They are from the elder gods i.e. us.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:43 p.m. CST

    @ lostyourmind

    by Gil Brooks

    Your name is apropos.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Um, about "The Director" *Spoilers*

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    If The Director blew them away, the ritual wouldn't have worked. Why do you think she was trying to coax Dana into killing Topher? The slaughter of the complex. Jesus. What the fuck movie were you watching? They clearly stated the ritual would only work with a set group of type-people.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:45 p.m. CST

    kibbled

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    Good call. Thanks!

  • April 14, 2012, 12:46 p.m. CST

    The ONE Thing I Would Rather Have Seen...

    by Bald Evil

    When the Ancient Ones' appendage finally appears at the end, I would have preferred giant tentacles covered with mouths and eyes instead of a gigantic human arm. Going straight-up Lovecraft would have pleased me more than it being just a gigantic dude. Also, the failed ritual in Buenos Aires (I think it was)... was that a dead King Kong, or something else? I agree that "Kevin" was meant to be a nod to "Jason", although probably doubling as a wink to famous Kevins of film and fandom.

  • And if there is any hope for this film to expand the film consciousness of the average horror movie goer, it lies in their remembering how wonderful and eye-opening it is when a character in this movie surprised you. That type of meditation on the positive effects of being at the whim of the director, and not the other way around, of haveing trust and respect for the storyteller, of createing true empathy and connection with the story's characters, it might led to a desire to see films that are more challangeing, more heartbreaking, more joyful and, in turn, foster a loss of taste for those films that pander and ultimately are dispelled by the days that follow consumption. The moment that truly roused me was in fact an early one, when "the Fool" responded to "Are you sassin' me, boy!" with "Yes I am, because you insulted my friend." His use of wit, his sudden backbone, it all went against the grain and made you see him as an individual and not an archetype. It was a great moment, and one that made you re-evalute your earlier judgements. I would have liked to have seen that device used more - and maybe that was the point. It was still disheartening to hear hoots and cheers during the deaths. But what was interesting was that when the compound was invaded by the naivity that inspired the System Purge, the audience reaction was had a marked difference in it. It was much more of a horror film at that point - and you could tell by the sounds and words of the audience. For one, it became much more quiet as the chaos ensued. There was still enjoyment, but I could also tell an uneasiness in those around me. Here, the film was hitting to close to hope. The horrors were suddenly in a more real world environment (the office), and no longer contained within the known perimeters of genre tropes. It is here that the film truly became claustrophobic and unsettleing. The effects of all those caged and contained nightmares were suddenly unreleased - and the power of their sheer mass, the pervasiveness of their presence as dictated by "the needs of the gods," I thought was a powerful commentary. It was ugly, and a bit much. An interesting film - and I think a very timely one.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Best thing -

    by Mastidon

    I saw at BNAT.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:51 p.m. CST

    The saboteur

    by Bald Evil

    I got the impression that the sabotage was caused by Marty screwing around with the electronics he found in the access panel. I don't think the Ancient Ones had a choice in unleashing themselves, that's not usually how rituals to keep unholy immortal monstrosities contained work.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Aim it at her tits, Eddie...

    by Fa Fa Fooey

    That's what I thought when the blonde's boobies showed.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:52 p.m. CST

    His films are too smart? That's a pant load.

    by HelveticaConspiracy

    I always get what Whedon is trying to say with his works. They're not that complex. They definitely THINK they're too smart, and that's they're problem. There's a reason Fringe outperformed Dollhouse. Fringe is a much more intelligent show, dealing with much grander themes; but, it's balanced by fully realized, three dimensional, characters. Dollhouse was full of cliches, not individuals. And, no, I'm not referring to the 'dolls'. I'm referring to every character. Whedon can't tell a story without injecting himself into every line of dialogue. Sometimes it's beneficial to let the story live without having to comment on it every second. The above commenter was correct, Whedon holds up a Wile Coyote-style sign to all of his plot contrivances. The audience is the villian? That's just lazy and easy and was already done, with much more elegance and grace, in Gladiator.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:55 p.m. CST

    "too close"; wow, I'm on a roll.

    by ChaunceyGardiner

  • April 14, 2012, 12:56 p.m. CST

    chaunceygardiner

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    Huh, that is very possible. He was in there fiddling around, killing the zombie while the rest were at the bridge.

  • April 14, 2012, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Did anything think the zombie girl looked like the virgin?

    by Thad Pittman

    And in the basement didn't she say something like "I was just down here looking at....myself..."?

  • April 14, 2012, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Anti-stereotypes

    by Relentless85

    I don't know how many people caught it, but these aren't actually stereotypes. She's not a virgin, Jules isn't a whore, etc. All of these are explained and then changed by the puppeteer in the habitat. The director even says it at the end saying they work with what they have.

  • April 14, 2012, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Speaking of Joss, did any Buffy fans think "The Initative"

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    When we got into the plot of the control room?

  • April 14, 2012, 1:03 p.m. CST

    I kept waiting for a twist...

    by -Halfscan-

    ... along the lines of Marty's "THE" virgin, but "we work with what we have" was cute enough.

  • April 14, 2012, 1:04 p.m. CST

    helveticaconspirarcy

    by No time for Haters

    I hope you don't have plans to see The Avengers cause based on everything you've said about Whedon, not only do you not like his work, but he is also one note and incapable of change. So of course the Avengers is gonna play out as an extension of his voice and witty dialogue and such. Be content to go watch TDR and anything else that comes out, no one is forcing you to go watch Whedon's stuff.

  • April 14, 2012, 1:05 p.m. CST

    I was disappointed with this film.

    by 1spectre4

    Did it have me guessing?.....yes Did I care?.....no I went in with an open mind and purposely did not read much about the film prior to viewing. I felt the "reveal", however cool the idea of Old Gods rising may be, was executed poorly. Alas, I wait still for the next great horror film.

  • April 14, 2012, 1:07 p.m. CST

    The Elder Gods are in SKYRIM dammnit!

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    Ah wait, thats scrolls

  • April 14, 2012, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Excellent movie and write-up! Great Job, Nordling!

    by Zardoz

    Scary? No, not really. Funny? Hell, yes! Innovative? Most assuredly. I really wish I had never seen the trailer for the film. I just knew too much going into the movie. Fran Kranz should definitely get some more work in movies, now. (Or a TV show. Something!) The only thing I would change about the movie is the audience I watched it with: fuckers would not shut up! It was a total stereotypical cliche: black people talking back to the screen during a horror movie. (And not just talking, more like screaming.) WTF?! I'd say the movie didn't go over that well with the non-Whedonites in the audience, which is about par for the course. Joss is an acquired taste, for sure! I overheard some guy talking to somone saying, "We should ask for a refund because the movie wasn't at all what we were expecting." (yikes!) I resisted the urge to slap him in the face. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, despite the stupid audience that I was with nearly ruining it. I will definitely go see it again!

  • April 14, 2012, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Best bit: blood blow-hole!

    by Zardoz

  • I was thinking that's all that it would be for Weaver: a voice-over cameo. I was very pleasantly surprised by her walk-on. At one point during the fisticuffs with Kranz, I thought she was going to say something like, "Get away from me, you bitch!", but I guess that would've been too much?

  • Because that totally spoiled Hemsworth's death scene. (But maybe that was the point?) Anyway, a very minor issue.

  • And that he would make her the fool by killing her, instead.

  • April 14, 2012, 1:56 p.m. CST

    The monsters come from

    by dumbastud

    technology. The whole torture family were robots, and this organization is a worldwide conspiracy with invisible forcefield technology. I thought that this was the biggest problem with the movie, and a pretty big pill to swallow, that all of this exists in 'our' world. But fuck it, it was a really fun movie, and it was funny and scary. I wanna see it again.

  • April 14, 2012, 2:05 p.m. CST

    The monsters aren't robots.

    by Nordling

    At one point one of the basement guys comments that they're playing with magical forces (or something along those lines). I think the monsters are servants of the Elder Gods used in the many scenarios.

  • April 14, 2012, 2:07 p.m. CST

    I guess you can say Whedon buried the hatch with Ripley

    by Dharma4

    OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH -Namaste-

  • April 14, 2012, 2:08 p.m. CST

    All the cut scenes

    by SFOE

    All the deaths were purposely cut so by the ending you dont know which one out of the bunch survived

  • April 14, 2012, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Where do the monsters come from? You dopes...

    by Gil Brooks

    If you need that answer, then you fail at movie watching. Something don't need an answer, and this is one of them. Just roll with the punches.

  • Was this some sort of MIB facility where they house captured monsters? If so, are they captured from the real world, or do they acquire them from some sort of other dimension, or, are the monsters provided to them from the elder gods? If so, how does that work? I'm telling you, they left it open for a couple of sequels and a trilogy of prequels.

  • April 14, 2012, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Nordling

    by dumbastud

    I thought he meant magical forces as in the ritual and appeasing the old gods. I thought all the monsters were man made. Like really good special effects. Everything else the people have seems to be tech based, including the forcefield. Really doesn't affect my enjoyment of the movie, but next time I have an underground layer filled with horror movie monsters, I'm gonna be sure not to have a big red 'let them all out at once' button.

  • April 14, 2012, 2:38 p.m. CST

    man made monsters

    by yourSTEPDADDY

    wtf

  • April 14, 2012, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Is there a Bigfoot? If not, fuck this movie.

    by A. Garcia

  • April 14, 2012, 2:51 p.m. CST

    I thought the Electric Dept. had the zombies, not clowns...

    by john

    as this screen grab seems to say.

  • All these rowdy occupiers wanna walk to their own beat....fine, whatever. Cabin in the Woods is a freaking masterpiece. Still, haters gonna hate......

  • April 14, 2012, 3:09 p.m. CST

    First movie....

    by BangoSkank

    ...in probably 10 years that I'll be seeing at the theater more than once. I think Rules of Attraction might have been the last one... Don't judge me.

  • April 14, 2012, 3:12 p.m. CST

    Hmmmm.

    by BangoSkank

    Or maybe Sin City.

  • Also loved the Mer-Man

  • April 14, 2012, 3:30 p.m. CST

    The Monsters...

    by Perceptor

    I don't think the monsters have anything to do with the Elder Gods. I think its supposed to be that over the years, as strange phenomena happens, this organization collects and catalogs it. I don't see the Elder Gods franchising out these facilities complete with a collection of monsters. Could they be ultimately responsible for the creation of the monsters? It's possible but it's also possible that the monsters are a byproduct of a reality that contains "supernatural" beings. It would be like saying that man, because he's the apex of evolution on earth, is the creator of all wildlife. On a side note, why is it that Elder Gods are always evil?

  • April 14, 2012, 3:44 p.m. CST

    I was thinking Pennywise when I saw the clown, lol

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    They all float down here motherfucker! That was some scary shit.

  • April 14, 2012, 3:47 p.m. CST

    The Window/Mirror

    by blacklightning

    The window allows the viewer to watch a girl undress. The guy in the room now has a moral dilemma, should he watch her get naked or knock and look away? Later in the movie, the viewer is in the same moral dilemma, staring through a screen, about to watch a girl get naked. Does the viewer watch like a voyeur or look away? Genius.

  • April 14, 2012, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Japanese School Girls

    by blacklightning

    Did each country's story fit the generic stereotype of their most common horror cliche? In Japan, the story copied The Ring/The Grudge. In America, it copied Friday the 13th, etc. Were other cliches from other countries noticed? I know other countries were shown on the screen, but it moved too fast for me to catch them.

  • April 14, 2012, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Did anyone else think

    by Matt

    they were basically saying, horror and genre films have become so formulaic and predictable, literally the only reason why they should keep being made is if they were the only thing keeping the world from being destroyed? Its like Whedon is saying to filmmakers with a wink: guys, this is what's really going on right? There's no way you would keep making movies this bad for any other reason than saving the human race

  • April 14, 2012, 3:54 p.m. CST

    rules of attraction was the shit

    by yourSTEPDADDY

    didnt see it in thw theater but ive seen it more than most great movies.

  • April 14, 2012, 3:56 p.m. CST

    daamn rizzo mustve really liked this movie

    by yourSTEPDADDY

    never seen him post so much in a non jj abrams tv show article

  • April 14, 2012, 3:56 p.m. CST

    If they showed Ireland, well, you know what we would get:

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    Warwick Davis! (I'm Irish, I can make that joke, dammnit.)

  • April 14, 2012, 3:59 p.m. CST

    I post when I find something interesting, lol

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    Like I need to post in the Dr. Who docback that I went to see it being filmed here in NYC last week and stood around for over 10 hours to catch a glimpse of Smith in central park and Tudor City freezing my ass off, lol

  • April 14, 2012, 4 p.m. CST

    And then I post when AICN hypes bullshit movies too

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    Attack the Block & Chronicle to say the least.

  • April 14, 2012, 4:37 p.m. CST

    absolute dogshit CGI

    by axemurder

    worst I have seen in years. Started well ended weak.

  • April 14, 2012, 4:37 p.m. CST

    The Japanese school girls beating...

    by Itchypanda

    their monster and turning the overused ghost/poltergeist theme into a frog was a classic. The control room's reaction giving them the finger and saying, "How hard is it to kill 9 year old girls?!?" put this completely over the top. At this point I went from liking the movie to loving it. I got it. Asians love their ghosts/monsters winning in the end and this time it didn't happen. It helped forecast what was going to happen to the American crew.

  • April 14, 2012, 4:54 p.m. CST

    i hate teen horror films. i love this movie.

    by antonphd

    it's smart, funny and thrilling. i also love the old evil god rising at the end. that was cool. i would probably enjoy the movie if it had less gore. i don't like gore at all. i can't even watch some tv shows like Bones for that reason. but, i guess other people don't get bothered as much by it.

  • April 14, 2012, 4:54 p.m. CST

    attack the block and chronicle warrants the hype

    by yourSTEPDADDY

    i dunno i can say the same here since i read the script so i knew all the surprisez. i may say this is overhyped esp with the gamechanger part. it wont change the game, just create imitators imo

  • April 14, 2012, 4:55 p.m. CST

    My only question

    by bigkinggorilla

    they mention that the sacrifices need to choose their fate, ignoring the harbingers warning and whatnot, so what would the control room have done if they turned around at the gas station or decided to not investigate the creepy cellar that randomly opened?

  • April 14, 2012, 5:09 p.m. CST

    Well they were druging the kids to make them dumber

    by heylookoverthere

    The girl with her hair dye, the stoner with his weed (or so they thought) and gas through the vents. So I guess they figured the chemicals would make them go along with whatever.

  • April 14, 2012, 5:30 p.m. CST

    I wouldn't change a thing about this...

    by ScriptCunt

    EXCEPT for the big, goofy "elder god" hand at the end... that hand should have been something far more ugly and horrific and "elder god-ish" ... a Hastur claw or a mass of seething shoggoth eyeballs or what-have-ya. Really enjoyed it... especially the unicorn impalement. Nice touch.

  • ... oh for fuck's sake... you people are the EXACT reason that retarded prequels get green-lit. Yeah, what's the point of ANY mystery unless every goddamned tidbit of it is played out in some unnecessary back story. There are holes galore in this thing and if you need to poke around and explore the "realism" of an inventory room filled with ghosts and werewolves and killer robots in a movie like this then wait for the Dark Horse graphic novel or something for fuck's sake.

  • There's a reason this was shelved for more than MGM's problems in 2009. The audience I was with laughed throughout the whole thing, even the more serious bits. It wasn't even scary. The ending made people laugh even more. Should have recut this and marketed it as an apocalyptic black comedy, and it probably would have gone over better. Going to grab my kid and go get some Knyuck knyucks in a bit.

  • April 14, 2012, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Nordling's a little overzealous with the allegory...

    by DEX

    ... and it comes off a little patronizing. Hey, I hate pandering as much as the next guy but I don't think the movie is an indictment of summer blockbusters. In the movie itself, pandering to the elder gods is what kept the world running. By upsetting the system, everyone dies a horrifying death so how does that work for the allegory? The movie criticizes humanity for being cruel but like someone else said, it is just good meta-movie fun!... though in the hands of a great director, it would have been both scary and fun.

  • April 14, 2012, 6:03 p.m. CST

    Forgot to mention..

    by Bob

    The whole sleeping gods thing seems even more preposterous when watching it in the context of the film. Yeah, and that's a lot of what people were laughing about. Glad to see that Whedon has a major hit with Avengers in a couple of weeks, as this was quite a letdown.

  • April 14, 2012, 6:33 p.m. CST

    They should put out a compendium book for the movie.

    by Ozy

    Something like the one they did for Trick 'R Treat.

  • April 14, 2012, 6:46 p.m. CST

    We're not the Elder Gods, and I got a better ending...

    by dead youngling

    The girl got bit by the werewolf...so at the end when she and stoner are sitting there, they start making out cause it's the end of the world. She turns into a werewolf because of the bite and eats stoner's face...thus a link to the making out with wolf head scene earlier.

  • April 14, 2012, 6:48 p.m. CST

    SIS told me the perfect quote. MAJOR MAJOR SPOILER

    by spike0037

    HELLMOUTH WINS

  • April 14, 2012, 6:54 p.m. CST

    @ alt_matt, @scriptcunt

    by D_T

    =Its like Whedon is saying to filmmakers with a wink: guys, this is what's really going on right? There's no way you would keep making movies this bad for any other reason than saving the human race= That’s a great analysis and pretty close to what my wife said when we were talking about the movie on the drive home. The movie is kind of a commentary on why we’d continue to make bad horror films and why anybody would watch them. Fun stuff :D =EXCEPT for the big, goofy "elder god" hand at the end= Yeah, I would’ve like to have seen something a little more alien/Lovecraftian with that ending shot. *** Loved it, wife loved it, pretty clever take on the what/why of the horror film industry.

  • April 14, 2012, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Apparently we're the gods of lame premises.

    by Mugato5150

  • April 14, 2012, 7:14 p.m. CST

    References to other movies

    by KJD

    I think the Swedish reference on one of the control room monitors was to carpenter's "The Thing" (or the prequel/remake) as it showed a helicopter flying away from a burnt down arctic outpost. I saw twins reminiscent of girls in "The Shining" "Hellraiser" is in there obviously. "The Grudge" in the Japanese video. Anyone else catch other references?

  • April 14, 2012, 7:20 p.m. CST

    love that it opened mainstream on a Friday the 13th

    by sobelius

  • April 14, 2012, 7:22 p.m. CST

    The Meta

    by blackwood

    The movie read like this, to me: we are complacent in horrible things because they keep the world moving. If we break sequence, we stop the world -- and the world needs stopping. I agree about the hand, whoever said that. I thought tentacle.

  • April 14, 2012, 7:25 p.m. CST

    Blood gushing out of elevator...

    by sobelius

    Clear "Shining" reference when one of the elevators opens and blood streams out in the same visual style. Tons and tons of references everywhere -- as someone mentioned before, Ebert's line about this being a fanboy's final exam...how many can you identify?

  • April 14, 2012, 8:09 p.m. CST

    Too much Evil Dead to count...

    by Red Ned Lynch

    ...though my favorite was when everyone in the cabin gathered around the cellar door just after it slammed open. That scene in Evil Dead, with the camera panning from kid to kid like a hungry animal watching its prey, is one of my favorite shots in horror. Clearly had an impact on Goddard, too.

  • April 14, 2012, 8:31 p.m. CST

    thoughts...and alternate ending

    by dancetothebeatofthelivingdead

    I thought for sure that at the last second the virgin was going to turn and kill the fool. She was mauled by a werewolf, right? I thoguht we were going to get a quick ass-kicking transformation scene and then she maul the fool to save the world. Fortunately, they went with the Kurt Russell and Keith David homage instead. Much more effective. The best thing about the movie is that all the best parts were totally telegraphed and totally expected. Hemsworth's death, especially. The score rises up, it's this big triumphant moment and you know the whole time that he's gonna hit the grid and die, and hes does! And with Whitford talking about the damn Merman the entire first half of the movie, as soon as the purge started, my first thoughts went to Whitford and the merman, and it didn't dissapoint. Weaver was a total surprise, even though when I heard her voice, I thought to myself, that's Ripley. Yeah. toughguyrizzo, the sabotage was definitely the fool. Remember how shocked they were when they heard the sabotage came from "upstairs?" We were meant to think it meant the director because we didn't know the fool was still alive at that point, but then they showed him fucking around with the power. Perfect song at the end of the movie. If you're not familiar with the lyrics, look them up, perfect encapsulation of the end of the movie. The creatures were explained by Jenkins early on. Not where they came from, but why they were what they were. Great fucking movie. Should be a launching pad for new fresh ideas, instead it will just become the influence for a million different attempts to recreate it. Shame

  • April 14, 2012, 8:53 p.m. CST

    I went into this wary...

    by Dr Eric Vornoff

    ...but came away pleasantly surprised. It was never really scary and I only laughed out loud a couple of times but I found it flat-out entertaining from start to finish. Never really been a fan of Whedon but the smart-ass dialogue actually suited the characters who were speaking it and didn't sound like they were merely mouthpieces for him and Goddard (as I thought was the case with the -admittedly little - Buffy that I saw). I don't really see this as a game-changer though, Evil Dead II basically deconstructed and parodied most of these genre tropes 25 years ago and that never put off any would-be horror filmmakers from using the same tired old cliches. Looking back on it, it did seem inevitable they would choose the zombie/masochist family, not sure how a merman or mummy would fit into the whole cabin scenario.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:10 p.m. CST

    Joss and Drew Rock!

    by furnari5

    I just got back from seeing Cabin. I want to see it again and again and again!! And isn't it just awesome that it is the Americans who end up destroying the world. Social commentary much?

  • April 14, 2012, 9:13 p.m. CST

    Yup!

    by furnari5

    Joss has wanted to end the world, and he did.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:31 p.m. CST

    You know....I don't think Curt even has a cousin.

    by BlaGyver

    No idea why, but that's the line that got the biggest laugh out of me.

  • April 14, 2012, 9:34 p.m. CST

    The Ending

    by Cliff Notes of Violence

    .....should have just ended with the two of them smokin' dat joint....the last shot killed me...up to that point I was fine with all the plot holes...but to have the one question about the ancients answered and it be a lame fist.......I felt fucked over..a literal fist fuck you to my 2hrs watching that film.....

  • April 14, 2012, 9:42 p.m. CST

    Cashcab in da woods

    by Cliff Notes of Violence

    try to answer these questions..if not...we'll still take ur money...and leave you lost and stranded...bitches!.....there was a danger room somewhere in the earth....that was in connection to a Hostel like Ghostbusters containment unit organization?...missed that question...fuuuuck!....maybe better luck with the sequel

  • April 14, 2012, 9:45 p.m. CST

    Wheeeeeeat Thiiiiins....Wheeeeeeedons....

    by Cliff Notes of Violence

    saaaaay it....and maybe add a lil cheeese....or pack some meat in there to add a lil more substance....

  • April 14, 2012, 10:36 p.m. CST

    YOUR BASIC HUMAN NEEDS DISGUST ME!

    by fireclown

    I laughed out loud, and am unashamed. while we have the 'meta' thing out, I sort of like how they managed to tell whole horror movies in a few glimpses during the purge. I know it was making the statement that we almost don't have to bother seeing most movies in these sad days, but I enjoyed it despite the preachiness. Also, I saw a lot of CUBE in the movie. Which is generally good.

  • April 14, 2012, 10:39 p.m. CST

    I'll take some Initiative to be a little Hellmouthy

    by GooberNGrape

    like Marty, i was stoned when i saw this last night. <br>which may have been part of the reason i didn't love this more. and i wanted to love it. <br> <br>like Marty, i saw right through everything. every jump, every twist, every beat. <br>i mean sure, it's set up that way. <br>but it's also an issue of Whedon's writing-- knowing the devices he relies on. his pacing, the beats of his dialog, the cuts to and away from action interspersed with dark humor. <br>i guess it all depends on whether you like it enough to get into it. some parts were good, others seemed warmed-over like flashbacks to his previous work. so i feel conflicted about the whole. <br>though to be fair, i was trying to 'figure it out' (largely unspoiled, largely stoned) from the outset. <br> <br>all that said, 3rd act/downstairs act was pretty fun. and i would def give this movie another go merely for the sheer level of detail loaded into this movie. <br>it's a little kitchen-sink, but still fun. who knows, second viewing, maybe i'll love it a little bit more? <br> <br>btw, don't you love when big red "System Purge" buttons are so easily accessible?

  • April 14, 2012, 10:39 p.m. CST

    It wasn't supposed to be scary, it was definitely satire

    by Terrence

    More or less a jab at everyone that craves all that gorn and typical archetypes in entertainment. Hopefully years down the line it becomes one of those cult dark comedies that gets quoted by our hipster grandchildren.

  • April 14, 2012, 11:03 p.m. CST

    yes there was a bigfoot yeti!!

    by la te ral us

  • they never said anything about the monsters being artificial or being associated with the gods. this movie exists in a world where all that stuff in our nightmares is REAL!

  • Pretty basic opening, keeps up the cheesecake and fan service throughout the first half. However, with the opening shot and about 5-10 minutes in, where the guy on the roof with the earpiece is like " nest is empty" - It's an obvious set up. Cue Harbinger, and the speakerphone shtick, the eagle vaporizing into the energy field - You get these kids are being set up, it's a horror satire, but with a heavy overtone of cruelty. But the main question is what keeps you coming back for more - the why. So the why> The why was everything - the opening credits showed numerous paintings of human blood sacrifices before cutting to the 'office' environment of the basement of the cabin in the woods. All kind of in-your-face, not too subtle stuff. What makes it MORE interesting, is not that the whole film is an allegory to us craving horror, and our demand of these "rules" or that we're the ELDER GODS. We're NOT the Elder gods. It's clearly explained that they ruled the earth long before humanity. This tradition is actually in many religions, that before man was sent to earth, the earth was home to many races, who were disobedient, rebellious, and wreaked havoc and murder throughout the earth. Satan was a member of that race, proved his quality and rose to paradise, and then as God's servant, smote his rebellious people in Righteous Tribute. That he rebelled later is a testament to his inherent nature, but we'll leave that for now... And here's where it gets a little horrifying. The monsters in all the glass elevators proves that the "basement" team behind the cabin has tapped into the supernatural element of the world. They've gone out, captured, classified, and catalogued these monstrous, horrors in a freakish, mystical, terrifying bestiary to unleash on college kids who make poor choices, to pacify the elder "gods"in a fucked up business arrangement. Blood Sacrifice must happen in entertaining fashion to keep the elder creatures happy, so they've streamlined it, and like jurassic park they've caged things they can't fully control - C'mon bullets? To control Magical Horrifying Demons? You'd think that they'd at least use Rabbis or something, but I digress... So anyway, the entire heart of the film, the chemical X, the thing that keeps you coming back is that all of the monsters are REAL, they EXIST, they're truly just hateful creatures that purely exist to fuck your shit up. That Japanese school girl scenario was probably one of the most fucked up things I've seen- That's where it's terrifying, that in order to do business with these EVIL Elders, is that you must do EVIL yourself. To pacify evil, to save yourself, You must commit to a life of evil. They made it corporate. That's why Sigourney Weaver dresses like a CEO. And they've tapped into the evil elements and now use them on dumb kids for this ritual. Ad Nauseum for self preservation. Which is why it's justice to see them take their own medicine. Because it's all ass-over tea-kettle backwards. You want to fight evil you have to fight it with Good. But this is implied and not completely explored - What is the Yin to the Elders'Yang? Ultimate Evil must bow to Ultimate Good. Where is the Ultimate Good? The entire thing is a band-aid on a gunshot wound. BUT I liked that this film touched on this. And if I haven't said it, all this shit is out there. Believe it or not. That's what makes it scary. The CGI of a hand coming out is meh, but the concept behind the Hand lends to the question, if this shit exists, what the fuck now? That is a GREAT question to ask ourselves.

  • April 14, 2012, 11:07 p.m. CST

    brilliant brilliant film!!

    by la te ral us

  • April 14, 2012, 11:10 p.m. CST

    Different

    by Marc W

  • April 14, 2012, 11:13 p.m. CST

    Different Take

    by Marc W

    Yes the movie certianly makes comments on the genre's rigid conventions--and seeks liberation from them....but I also took it a little differently--I saw it as asaying horror films are the catharsis people need to keep the darkness.."the elder gods" if you will--at bay... I thin the movie has a LOT to say..but to me the overall theme was to respect the true catharsis of a good horror film....

  • April 14, 2012, 11:14 p.m. CST

    also...why is everybody giving ALL the credit to the co-writer??

    by la te ral us

    never seen why whedon is a geek god? buffy..? come on, just awful. angel at least had a better lead but it was still a teenage soap opera for the wb crowd. doesn't seem like i missed much by skipping dollhouse. serenity and firefly were cool but still kinda meh... however, drew fucking goddard wrote some of the best lost episodes as well as the gold standard of post modern monster movies, cloverfield. he did a really amazing job for his directorial debut, there was some really creative shots in there. GIVE THE MAN SOME FUCKING CREDIT!!!

  • April 14, 2012, 11:21 p.m. CST

    Split-Up Gas

    by Space Robot Five

    I loved the movie, but the Let's Stick Together/Wait, Let's Split Up Instead scene kind of threw me. All of the other gases and drugs altered behavior in general -- i.e. now you are horny, dumb, etc. But the Let's Split Up gas you instantly redirected Hemsworth to a specific course of action. I know plausibility wasn't the name of the game with this flick and maybe the ridiculousness of it was meant to highlight the fact that there is basically no good reason for horror characters to ever split up. Anyway, it was the one "Wait, what?!" moment for me in an otherwise extremely entertaining night at the movies. One last thing -- as a few others have noted, I was kind of hoping for a Lovecraftian tentacle instead of a giant hand at the end. But then again, Cthulhu does have hands, right?

  • April 14, 2012, 11:30 p.m. CST

    saboteur

    by henry

    i believe its supposed to be the stoner guy. he was messing stuff up with the circuit board "upstairs" and was able to mess up the circuitry to the cave by doing so.

  • April 14, 2012, 11:39 p.m. CST

    Haven't we been here before?

    by Cliff Notes of Violence

    ....yeah...drew "fucking" goddard....Lost....a show that started off interesting ...and ended in a regurgitated fart...that just cleared the fucking room... ....speaking of gas.....if there is so much tech...wouldn't you think that the people would be more free-thinking...instead of scared of some bullshit ancients.......

  • April 15, 2012, 12:06 a.m. CST

    INSTANT CLASSIC!

    by BranMakMorn

    Went in without having read anything online nor seen any trailers and I was so glad! This is by far the best film of the year for me and one of the freshest in a long time. Saving a spot on the geek classics shelf for me.

  • April 15, 2012, 12:11 a.m. CST

    la te ral us

    by bigkinggorilla

    Whedon's getting all of the credit because he's a more recognizable name than Goddard is, and he has a huge movie coming out in less than a month. Having said that, I have no idea why, in almost every review I've read, the director seems to be getting such little credit for such a well directed film.

  • April 15, 2012, 12:14 a.m. CST

    The Split Up Gas and Ending...

    by Perceptor

    I think that after establishing that the gas made the group susceptible to suggestion, it's just kind of a given that the gas wasn't the reason they split up but needed in order to use their audio system to tell them to split up. Also, I would think that the obvious choice for the ending would have been a giant tentacled limb but this goes back to the idea that film makers pander to the audiences wants instead of telling the story that they want to tell. By making it a giant hand, the choice was made to not give the obvious ending and instead give the audience an ending it didn't necessarily want. "The Cabin in the Woods" isn't the horror movie we deserve but the horror movie we need.

  • I enjoyed it so much. The stoner e screwed up the tunnel explosion, the monsters were real and obviously collected over centuries of performing the rituals, and the giant hand was a nod to Buffy season 8.

  • April 15, 2012, 1:01 a.m. CST

    Bad reviews spoil every surprise.

    by Felix

    Just for fun, I read the bad reviews after seeing this movie. Man, the people who hate this movie are assholes. They spoil everything. The government lab control rooms, the bets, the manipulations, the elder gods, the unicorn, the merman kill, the two way mirror, the purge, the Japanese scenario, the cube, the cameo, the last shot. Everything. It's like they want to make sure it fails.

  • April 15, 2012, 1:07 a.m. CST

    not to just go where you lead them but to find the end on their own

    by Binkysguy

    Fuck that. If I paid good money to see a film it better have a goddamned ending. Find the ending on my own? Feh...pretentious claptrap!

  • April 15, 2012, 2:10 a.m. CST

    Hell Lord

    by jersey_d

    In the credits it reads: Fornicus-Lord of Bondage and Pain. Is that the reference to the hell lord/cenobite is what it a character I missed?

  • April 15, 2012, 2:14 a.m. CST

    Stereotypes / We Work With What We've Got

    by 21stCenturyCat

    Because they weren't really' stereotypes... e.g. The jock was intelligent and studying on scholarship, the whore wasn't a whore, and the ginger haired girl looked most surprised when she was named as a virgin!?! I liked the way they all had to be manipulated to confirm to our expectations... e.g. The whore thought it too cold to have sex outside (so the control room turned up the heat) and I loved it when the jock had the very sensible idea of "let's stick together, we'll be safer that way" and the reaction of this rare example of common sense from the Control Room!

  • April 15, 2012, 2:15 a.m. CST

    by jersey_d

    Is that a reference to the hell lord/cenobite or is it referring to a character I missed?

  • April 15, 2012, 2:15 a.m. CST

    Am I the only one that got that the audience dies?

    by Jayemel

    When the Elder God hand reaches out, that is it killing us, the audience. Maybe it worked better in 3D? (Which I did not see it in.) The point isn't that we are the Elder Gods, it's that we don't deserve to live because we do fucked up shit and turn it into entertainment to appease our "Elder Gods."

  • April 15, 2012, 2:24 a.m. CST

    The Ending

    by 21stCenturyCat

    I really enjoyed the film but think I'd have been happier with it ending a number of places earlier... 1. Stoner / virgin are trapped in the cube surrounded by all the monsters/nightmares - FADE TO BLACK 2. They hit the purge button (although seriously, 1 button to release all the monsters!?!), everything goes ape-shit crazy - FADE TO BLACK 3. And even much earlier, where the virgin is getting beaten by the lake while the control room have their celebration party. It have been a pretty bleak ending to end there, but surely not as bleak as the real ending which involved the end of the world! P.s the irony isn't lost on me that already I can't remember the names of these teens, which I assume is why in film their characters are normally written with such broad strokes hence all the stereotypes. 21stcenturycat.org

  • April 15, 2012, 2:25 a.m. CST

    Best line in the film

    by 21stCenturyCat

    I'm drawing a line here, do not read out the fucking Latin!

  • April 15, 2012, 3:14 a.m. CST

    Agree that it's good, disagree that it's great

    by disastermag

    I liked this movie, I laughed throughout, I would recommend it. Cabin is a smart horror comedy that is very shaggy in the execution. Yeah, it's smarter than I Know What You Did Last Summer Again or whatever, but aren't we all?The scenes with Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins were great. None of the other actors were up to their caliber, or given much to do. Once the kids breach the gaming area and the monsters turn on the game masters, it sort of just blew up. To really turn those cliches inside out, we needed to see the kids assert their "real" personalities in unexpected ways, but that never happened. Instead, the kids are manipulated to "transgress" or whatever it was, on their own, despite the fact that their free will was diminished by chemicals. Do the Old Gods not notice these things? And when they snap out of the illusion, they mostly just scream at monsters, and the stoner kid says stoner kid stuff. I was expecting something more clever, more twisty and turny, like Deathtrap (yeah, I know). This was like Scream only more "meta." I liked it a lot, but I don't think it's a game-changing, revolutionary movie. So there.

  • April 15, 2012, 3:33 a.m. CST

    So which one arose: the Wolf, Ram, or Hart?

    by DC_y0ur_m4m4

    Didn't anybody else think this was basically Wolfram & Hart: the Movie??? huehuehuehue

  • April 15, 2012, 4:22 a.m. CST

    Is this movie a horror film or a comedy?

    by KilliK

    Because i thought it was a horror movie but from what the comments here the impression that i get is that it is more a comedy-homage to the classic horror movies.Which is a letdown for me,i expected an original horror movie,not another movie which bases its appeal on popculture and fanboyism.

  • April 15, 2012, 6:37 a.m. CST

    The Horror here even if around a joke

    by al

    is always ongoing in, always capturing peoples imagination, always used as a ideological 'weapon' of sorts be it fiction, or the real world, or both combined. The Village at least understood this for all its flaws. From real life incidents like the Mothman case, up to still what I think in our bones we know is going on behind the west memphis 3, I really dig what this movie has to say about Horror in our ideology and its use and purpose. But that's just me: sayin, go watch Kill List and that Hound of the Baskervilles Sherlok ep, friggin Brotherhood of the Wolf, (skip the wicker man remake), and possibly on a slight aside The Signal, and that Masters of Horror ep The Washingtonians, the list goes on. This is always going on, life reflecting art and vice versa, it needs ur attention I'm telling ya. Wh- what's this in my ne... A dart of some... drows-

  • April 15, 2012, 7:19 a.m. CST

    2/3rds okay horror spoof with explicit analysis, 1/3rd awesome

    by HELLSFOXES

    thats the breakdown. i really don't think this film changes anything in the horror genre. it was a fun ride with a great destination but as a fan of intelligent disturbing horror over dumb schlock horror, i never felt that the film spoke to me. it just meditates on dumb schlock horror which will always be around.

  • or no country for old men? THOSE are 21st century horror films. so what do you say about those cabin? how anyone can say cabin is a horror film baffles me. they will freely admit it isn't scary or disturbing but rather funny and thought provoking. it is a revolutionary spoof film. a meta-comedy wannabe satire using horror films like airplane used disaster movies and blazing saddles used westerns, but with a more aggressively confrontational mission statement.

  • only one type of horror audience demands this type of offering and there are plenty that don't. is rosemary's baby born out of a desire to just see dumb humans sacrificed? or don't look now? or a lars von trier or david lynch film? I FEEL OFFENDED as a horror fan the way cabin paints us all in broad strokes as bloodthirsty idiots. if the first 2/3rds had more skillfully juggled its meta-commentary as satire undercutting scenes of GENUINE horror i would have so much more respect for cabin. instead they shoehorn everyones next favorite dumb shitty horror movie cliche and quickly cut to a contrasting scene in the lab. BRILLIANT!!!!

  • April 15, 2012, 7:36 a.m. CST

    and yes i did enjoy the ending a hell of a lot

    by HELLSFOXES

    it finally was able to provide chaotic nightmare fodder and the meta-commentary was implemented more skillfully. it was a fun ride but it really fumbled the subtext all the way through. you can all claim it to be important and an essential horror film but that downgrades what horror is. to some people horror is evil dead 2, to some its saw 3d, to some its the exorcist and the shining and to some its no country for old men. im a fan of psychological 70's horror that has twisted into the films of david lynch, lars von trier etc. and cabin had NOTHING FOR ME. i LOVE the idea of a film critiquing the shit that many people consider to be horror and trying to harken back to better intelligent days for the genre.... but this film never offers us a glimpse of what a genuinely disturbing, frightening or deep horror film would look like. and for that reason my respect for it becomes limited.

  • April 15, 2012, 7:39 a.m. CST

    killik

    by HELLSFOXES

    i wouldn't say its a comedy homage to classic horror films. depends on your definition of classic. but its certainly more a comedy then a horror. i think of it as a spoof of comedy horrors using imagery from all types of horror to paint broad brush stroke meditations.

  • April 15, 2012, 7:41 a.m. CST

    great write up

    by HongKongCavalier

    so long as the presupposition is that all filmmakers make art and when they do not it's our fault. that's one pretty wide generalization

  • April 15, 2012, 8:04 a.m. CST

    It might not have much to say about them Hellsfoxes

    by al

    But they go in tandem with one another as modern commentary and/or deconstruction of horror ideologically.

  • My Little Eye (2002) British horror film, that's BRITISH horror film got there first and did it a thousand times better. My concern is the guy who wrote this directed Avengers Assemble (be afraid, be very afraid)

  • Be that obvious, don't go all 15 certificate CGI safe Buffy TV standard cack.

  • April 15, 2012, 8:08 a.m. CST

    by Adesko

    This movie is awesome. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to see the elder gods destroy the world! That would have be the greatest!

  • April 15, 2012, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Elder Gods in movie

    by Adesko

    This movie is awesome. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to see the elder gods destroy the world! That would have be the greatest!

  • April 15, 2012, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Joss Whedon

    by Adesko

    True Joss Whedon produced it but it was more Drew Goddard writer from Cloverfield who took over this project. I think he is redeeming himself for giving us that horrible movie. Leave Joss Whedon alone he has a great body of work? Have you even seen The Avengers yet? Lets not judge until we have had a chance to see the movie!

  • Informed of their kids death through that of a classy arty perfume ad, similar for example to Inceptions Van roll in slow montion intercut with the furthur dream layers.

  • April 15, 2012, 8:19 a.m. CST

    uhhhhhh

    by al

    Blamin' it on this keypad

  • April 15, 2012, 8:26 a.m. CST

    This movie was a huge missed opportunity.

    by I Hope You Die

    They telegraphed everything from the start. There was no build up at all. Even the fact that it was a sacrifice to the Elder Gods wasn't a twist, since they started talking about "downstairs" and "the Ancients" almost immediately. The only real twist was that they eventually let the gods destroy the world. The movie could have been much better except for the desire to telegraph every detail from the outset. It felt like a pilot to a TV show, actually. In a TV show you need to tell the audience exactly what they're getting into, so they won't switch off. In a movie you've got them for 90 minutes, so you can have genuine twists, and you don't need to have characters telegraph the twists in the first 15 minutes. You can lead people in the wrong direction entirely. That never happens in this movie. Not even close. There's several opportunities but they're lost because of the condescending set-up. The other aspects of the movie, where they draw attention to genre conventions, have been done so many times before they didn't feel new. Since Scream it's hard to find a horror movie that isn't self-aware to some degree. The idea of drawing attention to the viewer and their desire to witness horror has also been done to death already and if that was the idea of this movie it wasn't done well. Particularly given that the horror aspect was much more cartoony. There was no sense of witnessing and enjoying something you shouldn't at all. All in all, they took a story with great potential, and turned it into something mediocre but entertaining. It'll please people who are easily pleased but there's nothing deeper to be found.

  • April 15, 2012, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Kevin

    by Foolsworld

    was probably just some freakish stand-in for, or, in my hopeful heart, terrifying amalgamation of Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers. We Need To Talk About Kevin is too recent, regrettably. Could even be Damian. I like the amalgamation idea better.

  • April 15, 2012, 9:15 a.m. CST

    And another thing

    by Foolsworld

    The Virgin was named Dana. Sigourney Weaver played Dana in Ghostbusters. Anybody else wonder about that? Busting the horror comedy genre with another horror comedy that just isn't scary? Or am I doing the Marty-Conspiracy thing? (admittedly, if one of the monsters had been Santorum, I would have ran screaming from the theatre.)

  • April 15, 2012, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Comparing Genre Fans to "Elder Gods" makes one sound delusional.

    by Soundblaster

    Why is this site so consistently hyperbolic? CABIN IN THE WOODS is a fun movie. Nothing more. Nothing less.

  • April 15, 2012, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Kevin

    by Dr Eric Vornoff

    i don't think Kevin was meant as a specific reference to anything. The joke is, surely, the incongruity of this average-guy normal name among all the generic monsters and it's left to our imaginations as to who or what Kevin is.

  • April 15, 2012, 11:12 a.m. CST

    So...

    by ThatEndDown

    Haven't seen the film and didn't bother reading the review to find this out (sorry Nordling, can't stand your writing), but in skimming through the talkback it seems that the big unrevealed twist/surprise is Lovecraft's Elder Gods. Here is my question: How was that surprising? My first thought was this was going to involve a major reference or expansion to the Cthulhu Mythos.

  • April 15, 2012, 11:12 a.m. CST

    The Ending

    by Eddie Lavett

    Sounds like most of you are missing the point of the ending. Whenever we go in to see these types of movies that explore Gateways to Hell, and otherworldly creatures we never get to see what we want to see. What's through that Gateway. Examples: Prince of Darkness, Event Horizon and so many more. We always get teased by the ends of Humanity but never get to see the ultimate destruction. And it always pisses us off. They gave us exactly that generic ending. As for the movie as a whole any true horror fan should easily be able to see how much love went in to making this movie. I remember a low budget director friend of mine sent me a movie pitch for a horror movie set at a cabin in the woods one time that he wanted me to write. Ten seconds later I wrote him back with a list of over two hundred horror movies set in the woods at a cabin that had already been made and asked him what new element he would be bringing to this genre. He cussed me out and went on to another project. That is the point of this. The horror genre is all the same, but we embrace it because it is. It's a comfort zone for us to have fun in watching these "typicals" fail in their useless task of trying to beat the "evil". We want to see them die because we feel they deserve it. I wonder how each of us in the real world would be able to take on the challenges presented in these typical scenarios. Would we listen to the creepy old guy at the gas station and just turn around and go home? I doubt it. Not if the possibility of going to the cabin up the street to drink, smoke weed and maybe even get laid. I'm heading to the cabin every time because those chances far out weigh the possiblity of getting killed by the evil that lives there. Which is why I would die every time.

  • April 15, 2012, 11:27 a.m. CST

    thatenddown

    by rev_skarekroe

    It refers to "ancient gods," but there's nothing particularly Lovecraftian about them apart from the name and the fact that they ruled earth before mankind did.

  • April 15, 2012, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Is a Remake of Waxwork Right?

    by ant_monkey

    Much in the same way The hunger games is a remake of The Running Man, this is just A Remake of Waxwork (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096426/) Right?

  • April 15, 2012, 12:18 p.m. CST

    I hope you die

    by The Garbage Man

    Congratulations, you managed to miss the point entirely.

  • April 15, 2012, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Remeber: "Keep Telling Yourself Its ONLY A MOVIE"

    by ant_monkey

    Well I Havent Seen It So I missed Nothing, But from what I read, pics etc Seems like a bit of a Box Ticking Exercise to me, a bit like Buffy Really...

  • April 15, 2012, 1:08 p.m. CST

    the garbage man

    by I Hope You Die

    What was the point then?

  • April 15, 2012, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Well If You Have to Ask?

    by ant_monkey

  • April 15, 2012, 1:38 p.m. CST

    What about Firefly?

    by Colleen

    One-dimensional characters? Really? I have to admit, I like Firefly best, and Dollhouse pretty well, but Buffy and Angel not so much.

  • April 15, 2012, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Guy screaming F--- you to singing Japanese schoolkids = LOL

    by deanmail

    conspiracy film, comedy-horror, slasher flick, apocalyptic reality tv show? difficult to "package" this one and its being marketed wrong the way Unbreakable was advertised as a "supernatural" thriller from the maker of Sixth Sense. Cabin In The Woods is at its best with the dark comedy moments, the guy screaming F--- you to the singing Japanese schoolchildren for the defeating the ghosts was the black comedy tone this movie should have kept to throughout and the comedy should've kept getting darker and darker, the monsters even MORE realistic or at least more dangerous the further we go down towards the control room, then finally ended with a the cabin being lifted slowly on the fingernail of an elder gods hand and the cabin exploding as it's "bitch-slapped" into our face!

  • April 15, 2012, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Directors Jerking Themselves Off...

    by Darkplanet

    Someone said: "It came across like a lark that Whedon and Goddard threw together over a weekend. " EXACTLY what myself and my sister thought after leaving. Yes, we "got it" but that didn't help the movie recover any points. It was like "Well, how can we bitch and complain about Hollywood, the studios and its consumers, AND sucker people into paying us for it?!". Well no offense but FUCK YOU Joss & Drew! You guys are in a privileged position to do something unique, something original, so fucking do it and stop whining about how hard it is to appease people (studios included). Take some of your Millions and self-fund something new, brave and artistic. Stop relying on the studios to fund your opus (if you have one there waiting inside of you). And that goes for all you over-privileged Millionaire directors out there! Be the change you want to see instead of making us waste our hard earned dollars listening to your hissy fits.

  • April 15, 2012, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Community said it best

    by CloseLight

    Stop being meta. Stop taking everything we do and shoving it up its own ass. Look I like the movie well enough, but saying this movie is insightful or ground breaking is a bit much. Its at best a dark comedy that rehashes about half a dozen Angel and Buffy plots.

  • support and praise it would have gained from the critics and fans.

  • April 15, 2012, 3:42 p.m. CST

    I loved it and would've loved it more if Whedon wasn't involved

    by rev_skarekroe

    Because, especially towards the beginning, there was a lot of Whedon-esque snarkiness to the dialog. Also, I was mildly distracted by a couple of Buffy/Angel actors showing up. Also, the celebration scene was dark as fuck. I was genuinely disturbed for a few minutes there.

  • April 15, 2012, 3:45 p.m. CST

    mondomaniacs.com

    by wushumonk

    I loved this movie. We have a spoiler filled podcast where we talk about it. It's one of the first movies in a long time that made me a kid again in the theater.

  • April 15, 2012, 3:49 p.m. CST

    I Pretty Much Hated It

    by maxruehl

    I don't often get out to movie theaters anymore, but being a horror fan for many years, plus the critical raves made it apparent that this was a must-see film for me. Now, I'm often wary of hype, but the raves weren't just coming from fans, but from the majority of professional critics, so I let myself start to believe that this might not just be hype. Well, I'm sad to say, my initial concerns were correct. I can only think that there must be some mass-hysteria at work here to have so many people raving about a film so unworthy of it. This movie is to good horror what American Idol is to good music. Sometimes I think the general public's taste is so dumbed down by mediocre/bad film/music, they can't differentiate between what's good and bad. They are fed something and told it's good, so it must be good, right? I do have one theory...perhaps, film industry scientists have created an aerosolized mist that, when inhaled, causes the subject to feel positively towards even the most inane and unpleasant of things; and let's just say that said scientists decided to experiment by dispersing it through air condition ducts into theaters playing The Cabin In The Woods. This theory, if correct, is the best explanation for the film's inexplicably positive reception; and if it is, indeed, correct... I guess I'm immune.

  • April 15, 2012, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Did David Lynch already explore this?

    by Jobie

    I may have missed this in the talkbacks, but Lynch, who's always deconstructed cinema & voyeurism, was who I kept thinking of during this- even more so than _Truman Show_ or _Lost_, and the latter I thought of a LOT. I enjoyed the film a lot, but I also kept thinking about to the last part of _Mulholland Drive_ just before Betty/Diane/Naomi Watts shoots herself- the old people are there just to watch her suffer, tormenting her & terrifying her until she kills herself; isn't that what Nordling's point is? I couldn't help but keep going back to this scene again and again and again while I watched _Cabin_.

  • April 15, 2012, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Agreed!

    by wushumonk

    In concept. And I loved waxwork and waxwork 2. There's something to be said about genre mashing so I don't see this as a bad thing at all! mondomaniacs.com

  • April 15, 2012, 4:24 p.m. CST

    I Am A Whedonite, And I Feel The Ending Is A Cop-Out

    by Media Messiah

    The ending feels tacked on, and is just not a good resolve. It seems as if they just came-up with a high-concept for the film, and then didn't know how to end it in a clever way, and so they just ended it with pretty much anything they could think of, instead of doing something that would really leave us with a twist that is worthy of them making the film in the first-place, and one that is worthy of us paying to see it. I think maybe it would have been better to turn the tables on the executives, with a sudden twist, and show that the kids are actually, running the game, and that they, the executives/scientists are the real targets, and have been from the beginning, at least, in this scenario, unlike past runnings of the game, including a jock, a fool, a virgin and a whore, etc., only they, the would-be villains/execs/scientists...realize it at the last minute to their dismay--that it is they who also fit these characteristics. That would have been a far more worthy ending, and would have made this film a real game changer. Instead, we got an ending that anybody in the audience could have easily written.

  • Guy has tons of talent and influence. A better move would have been to pass on lecturing the audience about how we're responsible for the genre stagnating and make a better movie. He has enough influence that his backside is surely chapped from the continuous kissing, and if anyone could pull this off, it's Wheadon.

  • April 15, 2012, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Just saw this and absolutely loved it!!!

    by Tim

    What a fun movie. Enjoyed the hell out of it and will see it again. Took me a half hour to realize the control room guy was Eric from Billy Madison.

  • April 15, 2012, 4:39 p.m. CST

    blue_skull_ho_down

    by HELLSFOXES

    whether those films are horror deconstructions is debatable, i wouldn't agree but for arguments sake lets say they are... those films offer there commentary through subtle means and subtextual assertions, underlying themes etc. they mostly attempt to speak about the human condition and maybe on one level consider the film watching experience as an idea. with cabin everything is hugely explicit and constantly combed over in broad view, essentially driving the narrative. this is more akin to a documentary, albeit a spoofy michael moore-esque documentary. im jsut not sure i like what this non doc is trying to say.

  • April 15, 2012, 4:53 p.m. CST

    @TheRawBeatsDotCom: I Disagree

    by Media Messiah

    Cabin In The Woods only made 15.1 million dollars at the box office, so much for it being a game changing film--it is all hype, and no substance, and that is why it failed at the box office--hardly anybody even showed-up to see it.

  • April 15, 2012, 5:06 p.m. CST

    Wish it was a little scarier, but otherwise clever and fun

    by jimmy_009

  • I think 15 mil in the first weekend is probably what they were expecting, and as word of mouth spreads people will see it more. I know I'm going to see it again and bringing a new group of friends. Not to mention the VOD and DVD audience when it comes around. And I never said it was game changing, I think it's entertaining as hell and a pretty brilliant script. What I said was, the ending you came up with and probably thought was genius was pure shit.

  • April 15, 2012, 5:06 p.m. CST

    media messiah, that's a terrible ending

    by jimmy_009

    And that's why you comment on movie and don't write them.

  • April 15, 2012, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Am I on speaker phone?...

    by jimmy_009

    Probably the best part of the movie.

  • April 15, 2012, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Challenging the Horror Genre and Origin of the Elder Gods

    by TheBigChill

    I agree with you in that Cabin paints with an incredibly broad brush ignoring very essential entries into the horror genre, but I can understand why those where ignored for a simple reason: they don't keep churning those out one after another after another. Videodrome, Mulholland Dr., No Country for Old Men, and the like are all one shot entries into the horror genre. They're unique and stand apart in a genre that full of slashers, zombies, monsters, demon children, etc. Those lifted above are a few of my favorite movies, but the problem is that while they are well received critically they don't make enough money to be considered a sure bet to be profitable. Goddard and Whedon aren't out to attack those films, they want the blood of every cookie cutter film that has been made. The fact that these films aren't mentioned in Cabin should be considered praise. And the Elder Gods, though it may be a little grandiose to compare the audience to the Elder Gods, it isn't out of the question. The audience has always had control over whether or not the show goes on. All throughout history, the audience has had influence over the show. Cheers for gladiators deaths, fruit and vegetables thrown at performers who were not entertaining, circuses that went out of business, magicians that couldn't push the boundaries or give the people what they want, movies and television are just the current medium that is under scrutiny. The Jenkins and Whitmore characters mention that the ancients have been around for a long time (how long I forget), and we have been asking for what we like since we started paying for entertainment. Since the early days of theater, the power has been with the consumer. If we pay for it, they will make it.

  • April 15, 2012, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Okay. So basically...

    by StarWarsRedux

    ...it was Evil Dead + The Matrix. It wasn't terribly difficult to see where the story was going. Frankly, I figured it out just from the opening titles. It's not anything remotely innovative, really. Maybe it's clever for the genre, but that's not saying much. I'll take the implicit subtext in "Nightmare on Elm Street" over this any day.

  • April 15, 2012, 6:05 p.m. CST

    The Film Is DoA

    by Media Messiah

    By next weekend, its box-office will drop by 65 to 70 percent. Considering the budget, distribution costs, promotions and advertisements, as well as the cost of the film sitting on a shelf for as long as it has, and the loss of interest to investors, they will probably only break even. Maybe DVD and cable/satellite will turn it into an aftermarket success, but I doubt it.

  • April 15, 2012, 6:12 p.m. CST

    Behind the Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon...DID IT BETTER

    by future help

    much better movie...check it out...Netflix

  • People on a geek site openly rooting for a highly original and entertaining film to fail, and already calling it a failure. And then someone like starwarsredux who says it's not at all inventive. Are you serious kid? More innovative thinking going on in this movie than 90% of the shit I've seen in theaters in the past 10 years

  • April 15, 2012, 6:16 p.m. CST

    @Jimmy_009: Actually, I Do Write

    by Media Messiah

    When it comes to writing, as with anything, you have to start somewhere, and it is not necessarily what you know, it is who you know, that puts you in position, and keeps you there. Joss Whedon comes from 3 generations of successful writers, so his ticket was guaranteed and stamped a long time ago. It is like what they say of doctors: What do they call the medical student who graduated last in his class? Answer: They call him a doctor too. My point, just because you have writing credits doesn't make you great, and not every great writer, BTW, always does a great job of writing--and as Joss Whedon once said, "Sometimes even the guy in the room that everybody considers to be the idiot has the best idea." I am paraphrasing, but that was pretty much his quote, and BTW, it was "the fool" in the film, Cabin In The Woods who had all the brains, and was the clearest thinker. Call names all you want, the ending of this movie hurt it.

  • April 15, 2012, 6:24 p.m. CST

    check yourself

    by Paul Paradis

    Any one could have killed the fool. So maybe u need to pay attention. The virgin just couldn't die first.

  • April 15, 2012, 6:42 p.m. CST

    I was expecting a MUCH BIGGER HAND...Questin please..

    by deanmail

    lol.make as many fisting jokes as you like but I was expecting the elder gods to be absolutely MASSIVE like sub-Unicron level massive, that hand seemed attached to something MUCH smaller than cloverfield and didnt quite give the BIG PUNCH that a film this well thought out deserved. Strong film, stronger ideas let itself down with a weak ending. Also if the sacrificial rule required they choose their own method of death, and they chose the zombie-family - why did The Director not say that rule was over-ridden by them all dying via any means as long as the virgin died last?

  • April 15, 2012, 6:47 p.m. CST

    Did system purge negate choice of death?

    by deanmail

    Did system purge negate choice of death?

  • April 15, 2012, 7:25 p.m. CST

    The ritual should've had a Blackman die first...virgin last

    by deanmail

    the outsider, the whore, the jock,the scholar,the fool and finally the virgin

  • April 15, 2012, 7:25 p.m. CST

    The ritual should've had a Blackman die first...virgin last

    by deanmail

    the outsider, the whore, the jock,the scholar,the fool and finally the virgin

  • April 15, 2012, 8:12 p.m. CST

    I didn't call you names, I said the ending you came up with...

    by jimmy_009

    ...was crappy. And I wasn't the only one.

  • April 15, 2012, 9:18 p.m. CST

    Just got back from seeing it, and I LOVED it

    by D.Vader

    I'm also glad that my surprised original assessment of the first commercial I saw, that it looked like a bizarre mix of The Evil Dead, The Strangers, CUBE, The Mist, and the very end of The Hills Have Eyes 2 (the new one), turned out to be pretty spot on. And damn was that hilarious too. Death by Unicorn. And finally, FINALLY, the Merman.

  • April 15, 2012, 9:23 p.m. CST

    Very creative movie

    by D.Vader

    And I appreciate that.

  • And seeing all those horrific monsters tearing people apart and torturing them in numerously gruesome fashions was pretty suspenseful. Triumphant indeed.

  • Everything you said it pretty spot on except for the bit about deconstruction. This IS a deconstruction of the genre. Its a celebration too, but it IS a deconstruction, you can't deny that.

  • April 15, 2012, 9:48 p.m. CST

    Blackwood, I too thought the director was going to be GOD

    by D.Vader

    Especially with references to "Downstairs" and that someone "Upstairs" was angry.

  • April 15, 2012, 9:58 p.m. CST

    The scene with the bird should have been cut.

    by CatVutt

    Totally telegraphs the Hemsworth death. Otherwise I enjoyed it quite a bit, though anyone who saw the end of Buffy season 4 could see the Purge coming a mile away.

  • April 15, 2012, 10:05 p.m. CST

    I think Gil Brooks wins major talkback points...

    by D.Vader

    For his post: "Where do the monsters come from? You dopes... by gil brooks If you need that answer, then you fail at movie watching."

  • April 15, 2012, 10:09 p.m. CST

    Hey guys, the reason people are laughing during this movie...

    by D.Vader

    Is because its funny. Case closed.

  • Or are jumping to conclusions. That's good. The idea that Whedon is lecturing down to the audience, good grief...

  • April 15, 2012, 10:33 p.m. CST

    Media Messiah, sorry, but I have to agree...

    by D.Vader

    I think your ending to the movie isn't very good. Whedon's is better.

  • April 15, 2012, 10:36 p.m. CST

    Scene with the bird had to be there for the dumb folk.

    by Tim Tringle

    See because unless you show it first, people would have been completely clueless when the athlete hits it on the motorcycle. See. Watch other movies, it's another thing that ruins movies that Whedon and Goddard are making a statement about. I definitely would have liked it better had the bird not been there and them showing it, but they do it all the time in other movies to keep stupid people from asking the ever annoying question "Why'd that happen?" You wanna stop it, slap your mom the next time she does it in a movie theater. No don't actually slap your mom dummy, but talk to her about it and aaaah never mind. Just slap her.

  • April 15, 2012, 10:37 p.m. CST

    d.vader, brilliantly said.

    by Tim Tringle

    It's funny dammit, now shut up and watch the movie. :P

  • April 15, 2012, 10:38 p.m. CST

    fireclown, shut up and sit down.

    by Tim Tringle

    Just because you have an opinion doesn't mean we need to hear it. And FYI, this wasn't a fucking horror movie. Thats the entire god damned point, idiot.

  • April 15, 2012, 10:39 p.m. CST

    The scene with the bird telegraphing Hemsworth's death...

    by D.Vader

    Is the point, I believe. Also lets you know that something is up with where they're going.

  • April 15, 2012, 10:41 p.m. CST

    For those asking questions like, "But where did the monsters come from?"

    by Tim Tringle

    You have utterly and completely missed the point. Go home and watch the news. Leave the heavy lifting to the rest of us. It's a god damned movie people, you don't have to know EVERYTHING about every aspect of it. Why do you really need to know where the monsters actually came from. Seriously, thats the question you should be asking yourself instead.

  • April 15, 2012, 10:43 p.m. CST

    So killik gets on each talkback about a movie he does not like and...

    by Tim Tringle

    Asks the same exact question. Dude, get the stick out of your ass already and STFU! Oh, I'd bet you haven't even seen the movie. Not surprising since you apparently have a giant hard on for hating Whedon. Fucking loser.

  • and you expected run-of-the-mill horror film, please proceed to EW.com

  • April 15, 2012, 11:02 p.m. CST

    No plot hole with the draining blood

    by D.Vader

    My assumption was that the Initiative already had vials of each person's blood. Hence the line of dialogue "The blood work looks good", or something like that. The puppetmasters had a way of monitoring each person's vital signs and had laced their drugs and shampoo with behavior-changing chemicals. I'm pretty sure they could take vials of blood to use in the sacrifice too.

  • April 15, 2012, 11:05 p.m. CST

    ttriangle, I think you misread Killik

    by D.Vader

    He's not hating on Whedon. In fact, he's suggesting that people are hating on this movie specifically bc Whedon is attached and not because of the merits of the movie.

  • And yes, people are laughing because it's hilarious...INTENTIONALLY hilarious.

  • April 15, 2012, 11:30 p.m. CST

    The chem girl clearly states where they come from...

    by Peppino_Squeezebox

    ...she says they come from the time of the "ancient ones". Obviously, they did not synthesize these creatures somehow. They're dealing with real shit. Even earlier in the movie, she takes issue with the whoever said the monsters where like "creatures from nightmares". She corrects him saying something like "No, these are the things from which nightmares are formed".

  • April 15, 2012, 11:30 p.m. CST

    I know where the monsters came from...

    by deanmail

    they don't come FROM nightmares , nightmares come from THEM. the monsters come from the dark dreams of the sleeping ancient ones who in turn come from the dark dreams of god who in turn comes from himself. The monsters are a SOURCE, not a product, just like good and evil are sources, elemental abstracts, not something produced by something else.

  • April 15, 2012, 11:50 p.m. CST

    THE REAL THEME OF THE MOVIE - Marty's diatribe in the van.

    by Peppino_Squeezebox

    On the way to the cabin, the whore is complaining about how the road they're on isn't even on the GPS. Marty is cool with this and goes off on a rant - not about how civilization is crumbling, but about how it is solidifying...filling in the gaps. There's a file about every person, every thing, every action...etc. Basically, he thinks we could benefit from a little civilization crumblization. The rant ends with the camera focused dead-on Marty as he intones "You will come to see things as I do" (or something pretty close to that anyways). Upon additional viewings I couldn't help but think how blatantly his sentiments underscore the entire movie. Maybe we aren't being set up as sacrifices for ancient gods, but we are constantly being manipulated, tracked, and filed. We've become dependent upon the "shrinking" of the world via technology. Soon enough, people are going to have to use an app to tell them how to feed themselves. Society needs to loosen up and crumble a little. I think it's great how, by the end of the movie, Dana (and myself as an audience member) HAD come to see things as Marty did - civilization should be allowed to crumble. [In all honesty though, I never really cared about the theme. All that matters is that this is an awesome fucking geek-fest of movie.]

  • April 16, 2012, 12:02 a.m. CST

    The Science Of Cabin In The Woods

    by deanmail

    The Ancient Ones slept, tired after causing so much destruction and only 1 tribe of a new race called "mankind" were left alive but scattered, they began burying the ancient ones deep in the earth and much later raised massive pyramids, ziggurats and grew huge woodlands to mark the ancient ones graves but each year the tribe were attacked by monsters that sprung out of the heads of the sleeping ancient ones to kill and slaughter. It was not long before each tribe learnt that the monsters always hunted the tribes 5 most popular members and that knowledge was passed on secretly from generation to generation by the tribal leaders as mankind grew and spread across the world. The monsters stopped springing out of the heads of the sleeping ancient ones who also stopped moving in their sleep and causing earthquakes as long as specific sacrifices were made and so it went...until The Cabin In The Woods.

  • April 16, 2012, 12:56 a.m. CST

    I feel sorry for anyone that thinks people laughed...

    by jimmy_009

    ...because the movie was bad. That means your sense of humor sucks, friend.

  • April 16, 2012, 1:06 a.m. CST

    It worked for me and Hemsworth fate was comedy gold.

    by The Founder

  • April 16, 2012, 1:17 a.m. CST

    I demand a sequel with Kevin.

    by OnO

    Should we take bets on what Kevin really is? John Carter haters= Jason wannabe. Michael Bay haters= deformed giant thumb monster. Why new Star Trek sucks people= Cloverfieldish monster. Emo Spider Man haters= Endless Emo Spider man dance routine monster. Seriously we need a flow chart or something.

  • April 16, 2012, 3:50 a.m. CST

    Foreshadowing....

    by Perceptor

    It's obvious why the bird flying into the force field was there. It was to establish several things at once. First and foremost, where the group is headed is secluded and dangerous. The only way to and from this area is through the tunnel. We see both sides of this situation. It's not a "horror movie" where the villains' nefarious endeavors are a mystery, we're privy to why the organization is doing what they do and therefore, they aren't the villains. They have a very just reason for sacrificing these youths. Second, it helps make Curt's death not something that shocks you but instead something that's tragically inevitable. Early on, I liked his character and thought it was great to see the jock also being a bit of a brain and when he got on the bike I was thinking that he was the bravest and probably the toughest of the group. I knew he was about to die and I actually dreaded it. Yeah, I got that invested in these characters. The last thing that the bird flying into the force field did was establish that we were dealing with an organization which had technology far more advanced than what we know of. So later on, when they start talking about being afraid of some buried Ancient God, we are supposed to think, it must be something awful for THIS group to be wary. Add to that, the film is supposed to happen in a universe where a vast majority of the HOLLYWOOD horror films have taken place. Think about that. A world where Pinhead and zombies and werewolves and Unicorns coexist. This world that Whedon and Goddard have created would be the most dangerous incarnation of a horror universe. These "teens" are the Paragon versions of the classic horror stereotypes. They are smarter and have more of a willingness to stand against greater odds. If you ask me, in a way they are supposed to be us. We've seen the same horror movies rehashed time and again and we count on the predictability of them. I know people that don't like movies that are outside of the box because it makes them think. There are whole audiences that not only want the ending to wrap up nicely but they want to leave feeling like they predicted it. The twist isn't the Ancient Ones, like so many of you have discussed, saying that you caught on to that early in the first act. You were supposed to. The real twist is that they ended that world and it was by the choice of the "victims". We're being asked to either help continue in placating the beasts or start fresh with new ideas and fresh blood. This means two things. One, we'll have to think of new monsters to haunt our nightmares and two, Whedon and Goddard never plan to return to that world. The destruction of that world means that all of the stories that it could tell have been told. It's rare for a writer to handicap himself from future work. It's a ballsy move to say "the end" and really mean it. The movie will change things. Not at once because there are so many established writers in position to continue making and remaking the same schlock again and again. There will be a whole group of writers that will see "The Cabin in the Woods" as a challenge to craft something new and unique.

  • April 16, 2012, 4:25 a.m. CST

    The Intern

    by ZombieReign

    When all hell is breaking loose, the Intern appears on one of the monitors holding up a sign. He then flips it to another message .. anyone catch what he had written?

  • April 16, 2012, 5:36 a.m. CST

    A Reviewer On ABC Overnight News Said It Was Horrible

    by Media Messiah

    He said that he wanted to walk-out on the movie but couldn't because it is his job to review films, so he was forced to stay and watch it. He had several other people speak about the film, and all of them hated it, saying it couldn't be fixed, and should never have even been made. It was like the worst parts of The Truman Show and The Matrix, they said. In all fairness, the reviewer said that Rotten Tomatoes says that the film rates at 94 percent positive, but he questioned how they calculated that number based upon his negative experience with the film.

  • April 16, 2012, 7:34 a.m. CST

    That "reviewer" on ABC Overnight...

    by D.Vader

    Sounds like someone who just doesn't get it at all.

  • April 16, 2012, 8:42 a.m. CST

    Elder gods = us?

    by The Reef

    Fanbois + living in mom's basement... Classic.

  • April 16, 2012, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Fuuny

    by Cliff Notes of Violence

  • April 16, 2012, 9 a.m. CST

    Funny Games

    by Cliff Notes of Violence

    ...talking about heady horror...and a lot of what this film attempts to do by still sticking with elemental horror....

  • April 16, 2012, 9:08 a.m. CST

    May the gods forever be in your favor

    by Cliff Notes of Violence

    ....you'd think that they'd just breed a social class to sacrifice....or take from one...where they knew the odds would be in their favor....this came out rather timely with Hunger Games...i mean Battle Royale

  • April 16, 2012, 12:39 p.m. CST

    The ABC News Reporter

    by Media Messiah

    He appeared to be within the main demographic for the film. He is young, White, and of course, male. The other people that he spoke to were another male who was older and a horror fan, and a female who was slightly older than the reviewer--she seemed to be progressive. All of them hated it, and the female laughed at how bad she said the film was, prompting the male at her side to laugh also. All said the film was not scary, and isn't that the point of what a horror film, or scary movie, should be--it should be scary?

  • April 16, 2012, 12:54 p.m. CST

    I Think I Agree With perceptor's Assessment of the Film

    by fain88

    more than Nordling's. That about summed it up for me.

  • April 16, 2012, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Ok, perceptor's PLUS peppino_squeezebox's Comments

    by fain88

    summed up what I think about this movie. Especially peppino's last line. I mean...unicorn impaling. Too good.

  • April 16, 2012, 2:37 p.m. CST

    It was a good movie

    by A for Aristocrat

    It's just unfortunate that the Whedonites had to overhype this to the second coming of christ levels. This movie wasnt a game changer or the final statement on horror movies. It's an interesting twist on the genre like Behind the Mask (which really was better). I do agree that it was basically a buffy episode. However, if you go in with an open mind and take Whedon and his followers out of the equation it actually is good.

  • April 16, 2012, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Kevin - From Sin City!!!

    by Mikala24

    Evil bastard, that one.

  • April 16, 2012, 2:58 p.m. CST

    It's effectively saying in one sense Hellsfoxes

    by al

    Free the West Memphis 3 along with your willing adhearance to the set manipulating aspects of horror and ideological dictation simply because it mesmerises and entertains you while making you not see the 'prestige' like turn, because you don't want to see it, your willingly engaged in the ideological precident and just the gory horror show erupting on the surface, or we all won't be worth the damnation in time... Or don't, and enjoy the hell out of it, your self, the ride, get down with the sickness (keep meaning to suggest people soundtrack the Richard Cheese cover of that to the latest Prometheus trailers actually... Do that people! Where are you all going!? I'm makin' sense!)

  • April 16, 2012, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Media Messiah, on that ABC reviewer...

    by D.Vader

    Anyone who foolishly over-exaggerates and says something like "This movie should not have been made," is a clue for me to just go ahead and tune out, because I'm not going to glean anything of worth from that person's review.

  • April 16, 2012, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Sounds Like A Great Way To Bring Lovecraft To The Screen

    by Buzz Maverik

    The Cthulhu mythos probably works best as an inspiration, where we actually don't see it. This would be the kind of thing preceding a modern day rising on Ryleh.

  • April 16, 2012, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Kevin and the Saboteur -- my two cents

    by Grendy

    Firstly: I think KEVIN on the Whiteboard was KEVIN from the SIN CITY books. Secondly... I think the Saboteur was 'upstairs' -- i.e. --the benevolent gods up there. The demolitions guys said they got a signal from upstairs, after all. What if the 'good gods' decided it was time for a do-over, since making the sacrifices year after year was just too much? Even if I'm wrong (and I KNOW some of you will tell me so) -- it's a fun theory...that there was interference in trying to save the kids.

  • April 16, 2012, 4:46 p.m. CST

    mikala 24 ---

    by Grendy

    I posted my KEVIN theory before I saw yours. Didn't wanna read all the way down and just now saw it.

  • April 16, 2012, 5:06 p.m. CST

    fain88

    by Peppino_Squeezebox

    I know, right! I mean, the movie just kept on topping itself. Every ten minutes or so I'd have a "Did they really just do that?" kind of moment. But I'd have to say the unicorn took the cake. That was a geekasm moment.

  • April 16, 2012, 5:14 p.m. CST

    I'm not a horror fan, but I liked it.

    by Colleen

    Probably helps that I'm a huge Firefly and Dr. horrible fan. The only reason I went was because of Whedon plus two Dollhouse actors. I was always fond of Topher. Best lines: the "Am I on speakerphone?" bit. I dislike slasher movies intensely, so it was funny that when the gore got more extreme it bothered me less, as it became simply comical at that point. I thought it was unfortunate that it came out after Hunger Games, because the similarities suffer in comparison (the sacrifices and the reality-show twist.) Somebody suggested Whedon take his influence and his riches and make something more worthwhile. I vote for bringing back Firefly.

  • April 16, 2012, 6:08 p.m. CST

    What the fuck was this guy talking about?

    by ParagonComplex

    Seriously, what the hell did you actually say in that article? It seemed like a lot was typed but not a lot was said. Being convoluted is no way to go through your night school writing classes, joker.

  • April 16, 2012, 9:07 p.m. CST

    @HELLSFOXES ... I couldn't freakin agree more with you, dude!

    by emu47

    Holy crap. Preach on. For real. This film doesn't speak to anything but a conveniently small subgenre of horror film, and if Whedon and Goddard are really horror fans, I don't see it. Shallow stuff, and not even as much fun as Tucker and Dale, or, hell, Feast. My critical, spoiler-heavy review. http://www.daukherville.com/?p=1014

  • April 17, 2012, 3:37 a.m. CST

    Conveniently small subgenre of horror film?

    by D.Vader

    Or the largest subgenre of horror film. Let's not delude ourselves here about the genre in order to convince ourselves the movie wasn't good.

  • April 17, 2012, 12:24 p.m. CST

    If you can look fast, what'

    by dave B

  • April 17, 2012, 12:26 p.m. CST

    If you can look fast, what's on the Jar...

    by dave B

    As our teens arrive at the gas station and look around, there's a shot from deep inside the building, looking out through the window, and the camera dollies left to right. In the foreground is a jar, like a pickle jar, full of SOMETHING, with a lable on it. I didn't get a chance to read that label before it disappears off the left side of the screen. Anybody want to keep an eye out for it when they inevitibly re-view this film? Thanks!

  • April 17, 2012, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Ghostbusters parallels

    by dave B

    I liked the fact that we have a DANA in both, that we have Ms. Weaver in both, and that our protagonists have to choose the form of thier destructor. Homage, I think. But a great twist on it.

  • April 17, 2012, 8:45 p.m. CST

    did anyone see the guy with the plunger?....

    by pooks

    or was it just my friend and i? when the chaos happens and they show all the monsters on the tv screens. all the way at the bottom shows a man in the bathroom wrapped in toilet paper with a plunger in his hand. it was our second time watching the film and my friend pointed it out to me and started dying. i just want to know if anyone saw it or maybe correct me if we saw wrong. maybe he's the mysterious kevin and no one placed a bet on him cause he's so ridiculous.

  • April 18, 2012, 4:53 p.m. CST

    Single most Lovecraftian film

    by mukhtabi

    In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.

  • April 19, 2012, 7 a.m. CST

    This movie was garbage.

    by Eli_Cash

    A movie criticizing pandering, only to pander to its audience in doing so. For fuck's sake, the payoff was a bunch of horror movie cliches going on a rampage, giving the dumbshits exactly what they want to see while feigning subversion. There was nothing groundbreaking or interesting about this movie. Its just a long insult aimed at people who actually want to see something original. Hack filmmakers who think the audience is the problem. I went into this movie completely unspoiled on the advice from AICN. Now I wish I hadn't. There was nothing to be spoiled, except for the fact that the movie was crap. Its can only really appeal to superficial hipster-douches who don't give a shit about whether the movie is actually entertaining or engaging, since it is neither. Its just a big in joke for the people who actually like the crap being parodied.

  • April 21, 2012, 12:44 a.m. CST

    Could KEVIN be the Kevin from SIN CITY?

    by Monroville

    As in this guy: http://sincity.wikia.com/wiki/Kevin

  • April 29, 2012, 9:52 p.m. CST

    last

    by menacingphantom

    anyone on this site who didn't love this movie is a fucking moron.