ScoreKeeper Wants You To Get Lucky With THE TWILIGHT SAGA CD Giveaway!
ScoreKeeper here pouring molten love directly into your ears with a titillating soundtrack giveaway targeting all the hopeless (and helpless?) romantics around the geek world.
Has this ever happened to you...You meet a nice girl, take her out to dinner, she's showing interest in your company so you decide to escort her back to your place thinking you might enjoy a different kind of score for a change. As you gingerly walk her through the door she's instantly paralyzed at the sight of your wall-to-wall arrangement of mint-in-box STAR WARS action figures from 1977-2012, stacked display cases of original series STAR TREK dolls, complete collection of Marvel's Ultimate Spider-Man housed in custom monogrammed tinted acrylic pouches, autographed poster of metal bikini Leia — Before your next inhale, she tears out of the room incognito as if worried a casual acquaintance might spy her presence. You never see her again.
Don't despair. Your royal geekness may have been a liability with the ladies but it's time to turn that frown upside down and make it your mightiest strength.
I have in my possession five copies of instant love. The only vibrating tool you'll need to turn your walk-in birth-control room into a luscious lounge of sensual seduction.
What you need is the "Music From The Twilight Saga for Chamber Orchestra."
That's right. Next time you decide to bring a woman into your geek hole be sure you both can hear the tender strains of Carter Burwell, Alexandre Desplat, and Howard Shore swelling in the background. You can distract her eyes by using her ears to work you over. She'll swoon to the unforgettable themes of TWILIGHT (2008), NEW MOON (2009), and ECLIPSE (2010). The rest...is at least rated a few X's.
So how do you gain access to the goods? Well, it's simple. Just send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org using the subject: TURN ME ON WITH TWILIGHT! and include your name, mailing address, a valid email address, and your favorite score to fuck to (not that I need any help or anything).
I'll stick all the entries into a soft pouch and pull out just in time to read five names. Those five names will each receive head-fulls of TWILIGHT music courtesy of BSX Records. By the way, all CDs are autographed by Dan Redfeld who arranged and conducted the music for chamber orchestra.
This CD doesn't blow. Job is easy.
The deadline for ultimate submission will be Sunday, April 15th, 2012, at 11:59pm PST. Only one entry per person at a time. International applications will be accepted in the rear. Duplicates will be discarded although I'm sure twins are a lot of fun.
Don't finish prematurely. Get up and get down today!
For more information including audio samples check out BuySoundtrax.com.
If you're on Twitter look me up...
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April 10, 2012, 11 p.m. CST
by Turd Furgeson
April 10, 2012, 11:07 p.m. CST
by Nasty In The Pasty
I know the Titanic score sold through the roof 15 years ago, but that didn't have a "music inspired by the film" album. I'd guess most teenage girls just buy the song albums and don't even realize there was any other music in the films.
April 10, 2012, 11:11 p.m. CST
FUCK TEAM JACOB!!!! IF SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WITH JACOB, SHE WOULDA MARRIED JACOB! EDWARD WON! GET OVER IT!
Fuck sakes. I Can't stand Team Jacob assholes.
April 10, 2012, 11:13 p.m. CST
by Jaster Mareel
My fucking god if you guys will take money for Human Centipede and Twilight you'll take it from fucking anyone.
April 10, 2012, 11:39 p.m. CST
by Rick Webb
April 10, 2012, 11:42 p.m. CST
True story......I was at a Hellboy signing and told Ron Perlman that CD was a great make out album. He looked me dead in the eye and casually said, "I'm glad I helped you get laid." Everybody cracked up at that one.
April 11, 2012, midnight CST
April 11, 2012, 12:08 a.m. CST
Twilight is for 'menopausal soccer moms' - we're all 'geeks' on here!
April 11, 2012, 12:09 a.m. CST
See what you did, you done turned me gay you smooth talker. Seriously cracking up tho! :)
April 11, 2012, 12:41 a.m. CST
Seriously. Why not ask for all this personal information AFTER you've won. Why do you even need the email? Why not make them come back to the site on a certain day for the announcement of winners? What the fuck? Is it because you sell our info to advertisers? Why are contests like this?
April 11, 2012, 2:29 a.m. CST
... where the winner would never have to hear about Twilight on this fucking site ever again?
April 11, 2012, 2:32 a.m. CST
...or am I missing something here, something getting lost in the translation maybe?
April 11, 2012, 6:53 a.m. CST
But be real here, the bowels of hell have a higher chance of opening up than the thighs of some of age whore drunk on this Twilight bullshit for myself and 75% of the people frequenting this site and posting on it who aren't already married or in a casual relationship with their left or right hands.
April 11, 2012, 6:59 a.m. CST
did Scorekeeper jump the shark here?
April 11, 2012, 8:01 a.m. CST
by Shepard Wong
Night Trap2: The Sparkling Augers
April 11, 2012, 10:48 a.m. CST
... ... ... No...
April 11, 2012, 10:59 a.m. CST
April 11, 2012, 11:02 a.m. CST
... I never got as far as my own front door. But then, if I had then it would only be an opposite or alternate of sorts in all probability: Lynch... Herzog?... Wong Kar Wai!? Right. Your one of those sad crazy nietzschen nihilist 'Martin' loving rapist wannabes arn't you!? ... ... no... This is my rape alarm, I'm holding up my rape alarm in front of you righ- What's that? Is that... A POLANSKI BOXSET!? Didn't you tell me Woody Allen was one of your heroes!!!? ...Errrrrrrrrr-
April 11, 2012, 11:05 a.m. CST
But then to be fair, I'm not really familiar the score... Maybe it's really good?
April 11, 2012, 11:15 a.m. CST
by Raptor Jesus
The music is the music, it is not the movies. And this is excellent music. Mostly solo piano and violin. Give it a listen at Amazon.
April 11, 2012, 5:07 p.m. CST
April 11, 2012, 7:59 p.m. CST
Where's my soundtrack for THAT?
April 11, 2012, 8:36 p.m. CST
by Pikoz Schultz
April 11, 2012, 10:50 p.m. CST
by Nasty In The Pasty
April 12, 2012, 8:23 a.m. CST
by Mr. Pricklepants
Carter Burwell, Alexandre Desplat and Howard Shore should be ashamed of themselves for stooping so low.
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