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SATURDAY SHORTS are locked and loaded. Let's rock.

Hello ladies and gentlemen, Muldoon here with a mix of some pretty neat shorts. Below, for your viewing pleasures, we have three horror/thriller films followed up by three comedies. It's kind of like the Black and Tan of screenings. So while the rest of the internet bloggosphere is chirping about THE AVENGERS, PROMETHEUS, and HUNGER GAMES, let's take a sec to give these fresh filmmakers a go with today's slew of fun films. I hope you can sit back, relax, grab some popcorn, and enjoy this week's installment. I think they're all great (That goes for any short I've had the honor of screening here), so you might too. However, if for some reason a short doesn't fancy your tastes, I swear it's not a giant conspiracy to trap your attention and waste three/five/twenty minutes of your life, so keep that in mind as you run to the Talkbacks to voice your unfiltered opinions as each one of these shorts was made by you/us - fellow Ain't It Cool Readers. On that note, we've gotten some incredibly well spoken Talkbacks the last few weeks and I can't help but assume the filmmakers appreciate your feedback.

That's enough chit chat fun, let's get this screening underway, eh?

NIGHT FABLES

Up first we have Darian Faroy's NIGHT FABLES, a quality short that takes a page out of old school filmmaking - toying with an audience's imagination. "In this live-action storybook, we follow Christopher's tale of confrontation with the creatures of the dark. Read this one with the lights off."

Night Fables from BES Films on Vimeo.

 

GET OFF MY PORCH

Here we have director Patrick Rea's interesting swan dive into the sadistic world of girl scout cookies. (You read that right.) "A horror comedy about a man being terrorized by persistent Girl Scouts selling delicious cookies.  Score by Harry Manfredini.  Screened as such festivals as The New York City Horror Film Festival and Shriekfest." The film's got a gorgeous 80's vibe that makes me want to go hit up GREMLINS or THE 'BURBS for some reason.

Get Off My Porch from Patrick Rea on Vimeo.

 

TIME'S UP, EVE!

I debated on holding off with this next one until a few weeks from now, but screw it - I can't help but screen it now. Again, this next one is from director Patrick Rea, though is tonally incredibly different than GET OFF MY PORCH. This one feels like a TWILIGHT ZONE episode with a dash of SIN CITY. I'm curious to see what else this guy has up his sleeve. "In the 1940s, a woman pursued through the city must elude shadowy figures who have claimed the souls of her friends and loved ones."

Time's Up, Eve! from Patrick Rea on Vimeo.

 

TILL DEATH DO US PART

Since I did feature two shorts from the same director, I think it's A-okay to screen one more horror/drama short before we take the leap into funnyville. This next gem comes from Danish director Martin Vrede Nielsen and his brother, Michael. It's nine minutes of pure atmosphere in the best possible way. "In a small house in the middle of nowhere an elderly couple are having severe communication issues."

Till Death Us Do Part from Martin Vrede on Vimeo.

 

HARRY POTTER IN 60 SECONDS

Whether you are a Potter fan or not, up next is 60 seconds of unadulterated wizard fun from Alex Mangall and friends. You don't have to get all the references to enjoy this little bit. Hopefully this short is the slice of ginger for your cinematic pallet after checking out the films above.

 

BILLY

Mathew Graham brings us BILLY. "Billy does not know what he wants to be. His parents sure do. Like all parents, they want Billy to follow in their footsteps. He quickly discovers that he is meant for other things . Will he follow his dream or respect the wishes of his parents?"

Billy from Matthew Graham on Vimeo.

 

THE MAN WHO NEVER CRIED

Up next is an odd tale of a clown... a unique clown. Writer/Director Bradley Jackson brings us THE MAN WHO NEVER CRIED. "Ralph Winston has never cried; not when he was a baby, not when his heart was crushed by his high school sweetheart, not even when he first saw Steven Spielberg's E.T. So when his father dies, Ralph - age 32 - decides to embark upon a true emotional journey with hopes to shed his first tear before the funeral - and before it's not too late."

Check out the film's "director's cut" here or the company website here.

The Man Who Never Cried (Shortened Version) from Bradley Jackson on Vimeo.

Welp ladies and gentlemen, that's it - the last screening of the day, but what's that? You want to keep this shorts watching extravaganza going? Awesome. Here's list of previous columns:

First

Second

Third

Fourth

Fifth

Sixth

Seventh

Eighth

If you have a short and think it belongs here or are on the fence about whether to send it in – I’d love to check it out.

Shoot me an email at "Mike@aintitcool.com"

In the subject line include:

“SHORTS” + “Your film’s name” + “The film’s genre”

Then, in the body of the email, please include a synopsis of the film and any contact information you might think I need or would want published.

Please don’t feel the need to submit multiple times.  I swear to each of you I truly check every email I get, and sending the same short a few times just makes it a bit messier.

Remember, the filmmakers might still be in the audience, so feel free to share your thoughts in Talkbacks. I'm curious myself, what did you guys and gals think?

 

 

- Mike McCutchen

"Muldoon"

Mike@aintitcool.com

  

Readers Talkback
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  • March 24, 2012, 11:29 a.m. CST

    I'm Betting Everything on Sebulba!

    by ImBettingEverythingOnSebulba

    Butthorn.

  • March 24, 2012, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Just watched the first one

    by Bobo_Vision

    Nicely filmed and it sets the mood well....but I felt it was all build up with no pay off.

  • March 24, 2012, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Just watched Billy

    by Bobo_Vision

    It wasnt what I expected, but it seemed to be based around one joke.

  • March 24, 2012, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Always look forward to Saturday!!!

    by oliphantman

    Thanks so much Muldoon! All these folks ROCK!!! This is a great inspiration for all to shut up and get out out there and to do your thing. PLEASE keep this up....I love it and so do my friends that I share this with!

  • Thanks for giving us a voice, Muldoon! We'll always be grateful!

  • March 24, 2012, 2:44 p.m. CST

    these are filmmakers??!!

    by KilliK

    just kidding.

  • March 24, 2012, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Yeah well

    by allouttabubblegum

    I sent a email and my film seemed to have been ignored so I guess it wasnt high calibur enough....ah well!

  • March 24, 2012, 3:17 p.m. CST

    mimirsan

    by Tigger Tales

    if you're going to say "calibur", you have to do it with your pinky in your mouth

  • March 24, 2012, 3:25 p.m. CST

    Currently watching the "Sleepaway Camp" marathon!!!

    by notcher

    OMG, what an amazing experience.

  • March 24, 2012, 3:26 p.m. CST

    tigger...

    by allouttabubblegum

    hahah.....orrrr mwahahaha mwahahah mwaaahahahaaaaa....y'get the idea! :-)

  • March 24, 2012, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Billy: An intolerant gay father? That's fucking brilliant.

    by fingerlickingood

  • March 24, 2012, 4:20 p.m. CST

    SATURDAY SHORTS —aka— GENRE GAMUT!

    by justmyluck

    NIGHT FABLES Creepy tale unfortunately undercut by the low budget. Sound mix needs work regarding the loud and fluctuating room tones. Also wondering about that dark circular vignette on the moving fabric in the *grown-up* segment. I think this short has a good idea which could definitely be developed further. Never knew they made EARTHWORM JIM toys. GET OFF MY PORCH THE STUFF meets Joe Dante. If you can believe it, there was *another* evil Girl Scout short posted here last year from the ABCs of death called T IS FOR TEMPTATION. Liked the scope aspect ratio of this, but I was expecting it to be less rigid, with more Dutch angles or stylized lighting to impart the Joe Dante approach (which this short seemed influenced by). Helped along by music and sound embellishments, like the *wah-wah* voice of the wife on the phone. Very well directed, hitting the right mannerisms with the kids. TIME'S UP, EVE! Mickey Spillane meets the BODY SNATCHERS. Nailed the noir look — looks great. Drop the exposition on *the dealer* and leave that open - we get it later. Wise use of practical effects to sustain the period feel. Strong blend of sound effects and music. Some may think this is a tale of addiction like SIN CITY, but it's not. PORCH/EVE — As a director's double feature: pro-looking genre variations on loss of identity. TILL DEATH DO US PART Like the selective focus and gold/green color grade (Fincher). The clip of Browning's FREAKS and the husband's primal scream pulled me out of this at the midpoint. Sometimes silence says so much, and I would have left it like that until the end. This was pretty great. HARRY POTTER IN 60 SECONDS The roast chicken with a balloon head was a damn fine ERASERHEAD moment — can never have enough of those. BILLY Assured and funny flip on a child's coming out crisis, which needed more restraint to be poignant. The well-cast characterizations read quickly, like a commercial — not a bad quality for this, maybe. THE MAN WHO NEVER CRIED The bowl of Reece's Pieces near the kids watching E.T. informs this one's a sentimental journey. Would have definitely been more touching by dropping the expository documentary framework entirely, and leaving the rest to the natural acting and loose camerawork. Acting, blocking, cinematography, editing, sound are absolutely tops. Lose the jarring rock song on the credits. (FYI, there is a notorious — and mostly unseen — Jerry Lewis movie called THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068451 ) - - - - - - - Overall feeling this week = very impressed!!

  • March 24, 2012, 4:22 p.m. CST

    Saturday Shorts

    by Chadley BeBay

    Is a great column!!!

  • March 24, 2012, 4:59 p.m. CST

    @JustMyLuck

    by Muldoon

    You're the reason why talkbacks exist, my friend.

  • March 24, 2012, 8:01 p.m. CST

    @jawsfan

    by Muldoon

    Clever. Thanks for the heads up! You rock!

  • March 24, 2012, 9:27 p.m. CST

    notcher

    by ajit maholtra

    Have you got to the part where the girl has the pennis. That was funny. And scary. The last movie was so obvious. The weird security guard speaking like Stephen Hawking with fake moustache was so obviously the girl with the pennis. And we didn't get to see her pennis again. Just man with skin removed like frog. So stupid.

  • March 24, 2012, 10:20 p.m. CST

    Another fun Saturday. Thanks Muldoon.

    by adeceasedfan

    I'm so lonely :(

  • March 25, 2012, 2:33 a.m. CST

    Ajit....

    by notcher

    Lots of T and A in the sequels, no acting or script, but lots of T and A.

  • March 25, 2012, 11:54 a.m. CST

    So I hear Muldoon is..

    by T 1000 xp professional

    THE MAN

  • March 25, 2012, 12:01 p.m. CST

    justmyluck

    by T 1000 xp professional

    I like you :)

  • March 25, 2012, 5:12 p.m. CST

    @Justmyluck

    by mfoul2422

    I was the guy who wrote/directed "T is for Temptation" for the ABC's of Death competition, so I appreciate the mention! Really enjoyed the shorts today. Keep it coming, Muldoon! This is now my favorite part of this site!

  • March 25, 2012, 6:51 p.m. CST

    The director of "Night Fables" is competing in American Ninja Warrior?!

    by T 1000 xp professional

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=u5QtsRgipDE

  • March 28, 2012, 5:06 a.m. CST

    TILL DEATH DO US PART

    by Maria

    What more to say than WOW!

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