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I am – Hercules!!


Comedy Central says of “Cash For Gold”:

Cartman launches a gemstones network show and creates a very lucrative business. Stan searches for the real value of a piece of jewelry that was a gift from his Grandpa. Meanwhile, Cartman's lucrative new business preys upon an extremely vulnerable clientele.

Last week’s “Survivor” tribal reshuffle was kind of hilarious, with all of Colton’s big, athletic, good-looking eviction-targets moving to one team and whiny, wealthy, 21-year-old Alabama student Colton landing on the opposite tribe. This week’s episode promises “shocking final moments.”


Premiering tonight:

Bent (9pm NBC), from writer-producer Tad Quill (“Spin City,” “Scrubs”), is a sitcom about a type-A single mom (Amanda Peet) who falls for her handsome slacker contractor (David Walton).



Couples Therapy (9pm VH1) is a reality show examining “the complicated and often misunderstood world of high-profile relationships.” Dr Jenn Berman's couch will seat DMX & Tashera Simmons, Linda Hogan & Charlie Hill, Chris Nirschel & Angelina Pivarnick, Kasey Kahl & Vienna Girardi and Reichen Lehmkuhl & Rodiney Santiago.



Duck Dynasty (10pm A&E) is a reality show about a backwoods Louisiana family that has grown wealthy manufacturing and selling high-end duck calls and decoys.


* As “The Voice” tumbled to a season low of 5.2, the Wednesday edition of “American Idol” was last week’s top show.

* Returning “South Park” overtook “The Challenge,” “Face Off” and “Sons of Guns” as Wednesday’s top cable show.

Wednesdays, Feb. 1-March 14, 2012
(adults 18-49; older weeks in parentheses; repeats in gray)
5.4 (5.7) (5.0) (5.1) (6.1) (6.1) (6.0) American Idol
4.5 (2.4) (4.8) (4.8) (4.7) (5.5) (2.7) Modern Family
3.0 (3.2) (2.9) (2.8) (3.1) (---) (---) Survivor
2.8 (1.5) (3.1) (3.1) (3.1) (3.3) (2.1) Criminal Minds
2.8 (1.8) (2.6) (2.9) (2.6) (2.5) (1.5) CSI
2.4 (2.0) (2.7) (2.4) (2.4) (2.9) (1.9) Happy Endings
--- (---) (2.4) (---) (2.4) (2.5) (0.9) Revenge
2.1 (1.5) (2.6) (2.2) (2.4) (2.6) (1.2) The Middle
2.1 (1.5) (2.3) (2.3) (2.4) (2.6) (1.2) Suburgatory
1.5 (0.6) (0.8) (1.2) (0.5) (---) (0.9) NBA Basketball
1.5 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) South Park
1.4 (1.6) (1.5) (1.5) (1.7) (1.5) (1.7) Whitney
1.2 (1.4) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Revenge For Real
1.1 (1.5) (1.3) (1.3) (1.4) (1.5) (1.7) Are You/Chelsea?
1.1 (1.1) (1.2) (1.2) (1.2) (1.2) (---) The Challenge
1.1 (1.0) (0.9) (0.8) (0.9) (1.0) (0.9) Face Off
1.0 (1.2) (1.1) (0.4) (---) (---) (---) Sons of Guns
0.9 (0.7) (0.8) (0.9) (0.9) (0.6) (0.9) The Daily Show
0.8 (0.7) (0.7) (0.8) (0.8) (0.7) (0.7) One Tree Hill
0.8 (0.9) (0.8) (---) (---) (---) (---) Psych
0.7 (0.6) (0.6) (0.7) (0.5) (---) (0.7) Colbert Report
0.7 (1.0) (1.6) (1.6) (1.7) (2.0) (1.4) Law & Order SVU
0.7 (0.7) (0.5) (0.7) (0.6) (0.7) (0.8) Only In America
0.7 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Restaurant Stakeout
0.6 (0.4) (0.5) (0.5) (0.8) (0.6) (0.5) FX Movie
0.6 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Monster Man
0.6 (0.8) (0.8) (0.7) (0.5) (0.6) (0.5) Restaurant Impossible
0.6 (1.0) (0.7) (0.6) (0.7) (1.1) (0.8) Rock Center
0.6 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Ugly Americans
0.5 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Challenge Aftershow
0.5 (0.8) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Doomsday Bunkers
0.5 (0.5) (0.3) (0.4) (0.4) (---) (0.3) House Hunters
0.5 (---) (---) (0.4) (0.3) (---) (0.3) House Hunters Intl
0.5 (0.5) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) My Crazy Obsession
0.5 (0.6) (0.5) (---) (---) (---) (---) Next Top Model
0.4 (0.5) (0.4) (0.5) (---) (---) (---) Ghost Hunters Intl
0.4 (0.4) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Million Dollar Listing
0.3 (0.4) (---) (---) (0.3) (0.3) (0.2) Hannity
0.3 (0.5) (---) (0.4) (0.3) (0.3) (0.4) Hot In Cleveland
0.3 (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Interior Therapy
0.3 (0.3) (0.2) (0.3) (0.3) (0.4) (0.4) O’Reilly Factor
0.2 (0.4) (---) (---) (---) (---) (---) Happily Divorced

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Readers Talkback
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  • March 21, 2012, 2:12 a.m. CST

    First at 3:12 a.m.?

    by DadTimesTwo

  • March 21, 2012, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Talk about the movie Face Off? The TV Show ended last week.

    by Zombieflicker

    On a Survivor note, my wife and I agree that Colton is the most unlikable asshole we've ever seen on reality TV. I'm sure the contestants are watching this every week and feeling like the biggest idiots alive to have done anything he said. I'd be interested to see what the gay community thinks about him as well.

  • March 21, 2012, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Amanda Peet

    by Karl Childers

    Why does Hollywood keep giving her stuff to flop in?

  • March 21, 2012, 10:04 a.m. CST


    by Karl Childers

    I agree about Colton. I scream at the television wondering why the other tribe members are stupid enough to keep somebody like that safe. Make him use that immunity idol and get rid of him the tribal council.

  • CBS has promised "shocking final moments", but now that we're expecting "shocking final moments" will those final moments still be shocking?

  • March 21, 2012, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Mostly reruns tonight.

    by Truxton Spangler

    At least there's a new Endings.

  • March 21, 2012, 10:32 a.m. CST

    The only reason to keep Colton around

    by jim

    He's a bigger target than they are so as long as they keep him around they are at least one vote away from being next. But from everything I've seen, I don't think that's the case. It seems like the other guys have no idea what they are supposed to be doing and are happy to let Colton make decisions. As the game goes on it might make sense to go to the end with him. He's not that likable and has gotten on pretty much everyone's nerves. Besides, how many Jury members will want to give the million $ to a spoiled entitled rich kid who looks down on anyone who isn't rich? If I was on the Jury I wouldn't vote for Colton solely for the karmic bitchslap of not handing a million bucks to a dude who proudly proclaims "I don't believe in handouts". I think Colton is a player the other players think they can easily beat in the final tribal council.

  • March 21, 2012, 10:43 a.m. CST


    by ATARI

    You are not alone. I have been watching Survivor since season one, and this season is almost unwatchable. The way I've been handling it is to FF>> to the reward challenge, then FF>> to the immunity challenge, then FF>> to tribal council.<br>

  • March 21, 2012, 1:56 p.m. CST

    Colton is the stereotypical gay that makes one hate gays

    by Bodacious_Crumb

  • March 21, 2012, 4:04 p.m. CST

    international or not?

    by devilish21ca

    Really you guys? Still posting links that only work in the U.S.? when are you going to live your mission statement, and be international? Week after week you put up stuff that is only available in the US, while claiming to be an international site.

  • The other night a promo comes on for Whitney and my daughter makes an audible sound of disgust. I asked her what she thought about the show. "I hate it. It's stupid and not funny at all." We only watched about 2 minutes of the first episode weeks ago.

  • March 21, 2012, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Ugly Americans

    by MuddyMudskipper

    .6 rating how is that comparing to last year... I like this show hope it sticks around

  • Worst is... Colton? I think that's his name. That guy... ugh! He may be the single most nasty person they've ever had compete. I've actually fast forwarded through his crap a couple times. His nasty is non-game way. Just a foul human being. <p> Otherwise, I've actually been enjoying the return to the older structure of the game. Two challenges a show and no redemption island works for me.

  • March 21, 2012, 9:18 p.m. CST

    I have a feeling most will hate tonight's South Park

    by jimbojones123

    BUT I REALLY AM ENJOYING IT. Nice to see them slow things down to make a point.

  • ...SO happy to see that people agree with me about Colton. I really thought it might just be me reaching some sort of reality tv threshold. <p> Also, I'm from the Bay Area. Lived and worked here for 25 years. I've worked with people who you would never know were gay and people who basically wear flags and loud speakers announcing it. NOT ONE OF THEM that I ever got to know even a little bit was ANYTHING like Colton. He's just a bad person. It has nothing to do with his sexual preference.

  • ...he won't have a chance at winning the million dollars. Those people talk to each other about the game for a few weeks while they're waiting to get to the end of the season. All his bullshit would get revealed and he won't get a single vote. Hopefully a few people will be smart enough to realize that SOON and keep him around for just that reason. Because right now it looks like he's playing all of them.

  • March 21, 2012, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Cole blindsided by his appendix!

    by DadTimesTwo

    Even though I thought Cole was unnecessarily mean, I don't like to see anyone go out that way. I would have rather he got blindsided by Christine. Speaking of which, I don't get the vitriol against her. She's not a great player, but she's not the pathetic human being Cole and Alicia were making her out to be.

  • March 21, 2012, 11:06 p.m. CST

    David Lynch's Survivor

    by David Duchovny

    An evil republican gay man. An old, brain damaged plastic surgeon---and a midget. Hijinks ensue.

  • March 22, 2012, 12:30 a.m. CST

    That Kat is dumber than a block of bricks......

    by Kai_Mah'gra


  • March 22, 2012, 1:03 a.m. CST

    cartman saved the ep (as usual)

    by yourSTEPDADDY

    but with how stan was acting like a bitch, that took me outta it... i understand he usually is the voice of reason, but na, it seemed outta place for him in this situation or maybe its just because he had no issue, taking advantage of Wing when they created the talent agency... ps: i know, im complaining about this episode like its walking dead or something... i shouldve just enjoyed it but stan took me outta it

  • Colton & Alicia's treatment of her says more about them as people than it does about Christine as a player. They spend a day mocking and teasing her and being downright nasty towards her, gloating because they thought they were in control of the game. A day later Colton is out and Alicia is on thin ice. Was last night's episode titled "Karma Comes a Knocking"?

  • March 22, 2012, 3:34 p.m. CST

    The final moments were far from shocking

    by jim

    Somewhat surprising? Sure. Had I taken a second when they all got summoned to Tribal Council to count how many were left in the game it would have gone from "Somewhat Surprising" to "Obviously". Way to over-hype once again, Survivor. Has that ever happened before at Tribal Council? If it's the first time it's not really "shocking", it's "THE FIRST TIME IN SURVIVOR HISTORY!!!". That would have been acceptable hype.

  • March 22, 2012, 6:09 p.m. CST


    by ElPalabraUltimo

  • March 22, 2012, 6:13 p.m. CST

    "Wahhhhh," said Colton...AND I SAVORED HIS AGONY!!!

    by ElPalabraUltimo

    Oh, it was one of the sweetest Survivor moments ever...the little bitch hadda go home...and he cwied like a little piglet going wee wee wee allllll the way home. Colton...possibly the most disgusting people I have ever seen. Seriously. He's not even anything as grand as "evil" or "Machiavellian"...he's just a petty nothing piece of shit, and I just TREASURED seeing the widdow bitch go home cwying. Fuck you, Colton. (And no, it's got nothing to do with you being gay...all the people who have hated you in your life you've dismissed as homophobes. Nope, it's not true. We hate you because you're a waste of gizz, a very credible argument for abortion. Now shove your appendix up your ass and cry all the way home, bitch. GOD THAT WAS GREAT TO SEE! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!)