Cool News
New BATTLESHIP Trailer Certainly Has Enough Explosions!!
The Kidd here...
Universal Pictures has released a new trailer for BATTLESHIP today, and, if you were wondering if there'd be enough shit blowing up throughout the film's final cut, this should satisfy your need for explosions. Wow... do you think there's enough of them in those two short minutes?
Plus, how many cannon barrels do we really need to hang out inside though to watch weapons being fired off? Between the alien balls and the missiles, that's at least twice... which may be twice too many, since the CGI is quite apparent in that shot and countless others.
It's quite possible BATTLESHIP could turn out to be ridiculous summer fun, but just watching destruction for a couple of hours isn't going to be enough. I'm going to need Taylor Kitsch and Rihanna to carry some sort of story that stretches beyond a mix of INDEPENDENCE DAY and TRANSFORMERS.
Who else is hoping for the best but fearing the worst?
-Billy Donnelly
"The Infamous Billy The Kidd"
Follow me on Twitter.
Readers Talkback
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This won't be good probably.
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Looks like they sunk my battleship.
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sometimes... you just have to say it
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She looks fucking ridiculous in those clips. If I was in the navy I'd be insulted to see her in a movie wearing that uniform. Anyway, aren't we all tired of these types of movies yet? I'm hoping John Carter was a sign to hollywood that people don't want to see these over heavy cgi films anymore and instead want to see something with characters and story.
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March 13, 2012, 11:51 a.m. CST
I actually had FUN at Transformers and Independance Day so fuck off.
by Tikidonkeypunch
I'm not expecting anything mind blowing from a board game adaptation.
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Another movie I won't see. Looks like Batman and Bond are the only two films I'll see in the theater this year.
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March 13, 2012, 11:53 a.m. CST
TRANSFORMERS 3 meets ARMAGEDDON meets PEARL HARBOR... looks fun.
by Mennen
Am i insane?
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anything with Rihanna in it has to be bollox!
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All that CGI just makes me... numb. The days of being wowed by special effects have long gone.
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Considering it's about the miitary, most likely we won't get much of her without the uniform on, unless she hits the showers. So lame... I would definitely give a damn about this if they showed her with like super cleavage or something. Otherwise, snoorrrree...
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Watched an episode of Amazing Stories the other day, I had forgotten about the CGI opening credits. 1985
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... and Taylor Kitsch
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March 13, 2012, 12:03 p.m. CST
Looks like a lot of crazy fun!! I'll watch this one in cinema, along with "prometheus" and "TDK rises" :D
by kim
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What I've seen so far has made me interested in seeing it. At this point, I probably won't see it in theaters, but for sure on Blu-ray. Unlike the Transformers movies, so far I haven't seen any of the ridiculous humor that Bay would put in movies like this. Unnecessary crap, that is, and it completely destroys any sense of tension in the movie when it's used. Bay's absolute biggest weakness, IMO. So far, I'm intrigued by this movie, despite the lame board game tie-in.
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March 13, 2012, 12:05 p.m. CST
Taylor kitsch's career seems to be going the same way as the 'I didn't do it' kid.
by Dirkblack
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Find myself watching more and more non CGI movies. There's no awe to it anymore. It's all crap. It suppose to "enhance" a story, not be the story. Ugh! Me thinks movies like - Cat People, Altered States, American Werewolf, etc etc could not be made today. Hell, even if they remade Starman with Jeff Bridges, probably make him CGI - lol.
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March 13, 2012, 12:06 p.m. CST
_isitin3d_ @ You have to respect other people. By the way, I'm waiting for zoolander 2.
by kim
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March 13, 2012, 12:06 p.m. CST
_isitin3d_ @ You have to respect other people. By the way, I'm waiting for zoolander 2.
by kim
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Will watch it on Bluray just for the pretty explosions, but it's safe to say that this movie looks terrible.
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March 13, 2012, 12:09 p.m. CST
Those of you saying you aren't expecting anything great but are going to see it anyway...
by Han Cholo
You, yes YOU PEOPLE are the reason cinema is going to shit. Yes, because you're willing to shell out $20 for two hours of nothing, the corporations will use you as a demographic for making even more shitty films that you won't expect much from either but hey, it has explosions and lots of exposition right?
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March 13, 2012, 12:10 p.m. CST
I still don't understand how Peter Berg's resume doesn't earn him the benefit of the doubt around here
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 12:12 p.m. CST
I am going to see this AND expect it to be great, Peter Berg has not made a bad movie.
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 12:12 p.m. CST
The aliens fire shells shaped like the pegs from the game.
by Royston Lodge
[insert "rage cartoon" here]
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March 13, 2012, 12:14 p.m. CST
What does Peter Berg have against Led Zeppelin's bass player?!
by Royston Lodge
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March 13, 2012, 12:14 p.m. CST
Watching this film is the cinematic equivalent of a bong hit
by Col. Tigh-Fighter
And I like bong hits. I also like reading Chekhov and going to museums. I also watch films that also tick those parts of my soul. I watch films.
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March 13, 2012, 12:15 p.m. CST
Can't wait to see the toys from Hasbro, the 3 3/4" action figure kings
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 12:17 p.m. CST
I just watched The Artist, and it's comforting to know that real movies are still being made
by kidicarus
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March 13, 2012, 12:22 p.m. CST
And Peter Berg did not go the converted 3D route, which is good
by JackSlater4
Not a lazy sellout like Joss Whedon
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She's a hot piece of ass, but should not be in movies. So far it looks like "Every Movie You've Ever Seen Before: The Movie" but other than that, harmless.
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It almost makes me tempted to go see this so I know everyone else will. Peter Berg is a good director and that's part of it too.
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March 13, 2012, 12:33 p.m. CST
It's like some kid found a shitty dubstep soundboard
by Scrunchie-Scroochie
And combined it with generic shots from Transformers. I should be offended by this shite, but I'm far too numb and jaded to give a fuck any more.
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But they should have made it either on the Battle of Trafalger or Jutland. I would love to see a Risk movie based on Napoleon vs Russia.
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March 13, 2012, 12:34 p.m. CST
Taylor Kitsch has tons of charisma, wetting panties for 5 seasons on Friday Night Lights
by JackSlater4
Pulled of the Indiana Jones humor well enough in Jon Cartee
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You know, I am willing to give this a shot. For all the whining people do here, I am willing to see what this director has done in his sandbox. If it is as fun as Independence Day, I'm game. I've had to turn off my brain for some action films in the past, I can do it for this one too if it means I am going to have a fun ride and leave the theater cheering. I say bring it on.
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March 13, 2012, 12:38 p.m. CST
And this will most likely be better than Independence Day and Armaggedon, but probably not Transformers, but definitely G.I. Joe
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 12:40 p.m. CST
If you wanna know more about the spinning balls creepythinmans-revenge, you'll have to see the movie
by JackSlater4
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I want to pork Rihanna.
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yes I say that all the time on here but it probably falls on deaf ears. These people like to pay studios to make more bad movies. They just don't care.
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March 13, 2012, 12:44 p.m. CST
Did Berg film any shots of an actual battleship firing its guns?
by Royston Lodge
If not, the people who are going to see this solely for the "big gun porn" are gonna be disappointed.
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....as in another massive financial loss coming for the studio who greenlite this trash. I estimate this will lose around $200-300m for Universal. 2012 vs ID4 vs TF3 may sound good on paper (actually it doesnt but whatever!!!) in reality even with Michael Bay directing this trash & the best looking supermodels/actresses ever it would still flop & register a massive loss for the studio crazy enough to fund this! Taylor Kitsch has zero charisma. John Carter confirmed that. Rihanna is no actress either. What on earth is hollywood thinking John Carter showed what audiences are thinking.I fear for the future of cinema if this is what they want to waste their money on.........
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They can make crappy films like this but not decent films of great books like HG Wells The War of the Worlds or the Time Machine. You just know this is going to be vacuous and pointless bollox before you even see it.
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March 13, 2012, 12:51 p.m. CST
James Camerson needs to hurry up and get Sink the Bismark out.
by whatevillurks
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Didn't know she was in it.
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'Merica! Fuck yeah!
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This whole film just sounds ridiculous.
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March 13, 2012, 12:54 p.m. CST
Fact - some day somebody's going to straight up murder creepythinmans-revenge
by Rex Carsalot
Hopefully right up the ass. "Faggot" indeed.
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Jenga movie can't be far behind. Here's a thought: Take an old concept, and put a new spin on it. That way, you can still draw from everything under the sun, and be considered original! (See: Cabin in the Woods)
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Starring John Carter of M- and Umbrella Dancing Mime!!! No, thanks. Oh, and **fuck you,** you tedious, shape-shifting, robotic twat-flaps.
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The cinematography, level of destruction, and particular feel of the special fx all scream modern-era Michael Bay more than anything else I've seen outside of an actual Bay film. Hopefully Berg's story sense will make it actually good.
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I think it looks like a laugh, Think Aliens Vs Pearl Harbour but without the flag waving, rewriting history kinda crap. Could be fun, like Speed Racer fun, just put your brain on hold and enjoy the explosions. I mean, didn't folk do just that with Battlefield LA? And wasn't that a laugh? Does every movie have to be Prometheus or Tree of Life? Come on for fraks sake, enjoy yourselves!
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Pure popcorn CGI MADNESS. Nothing more nothing less, will go in loving it come out loving it more.
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March 13, 2012, 1:10 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge you have a pretty active imagination when it comes to gay sex, are you an in the closet bully?
by JackSlater4
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Fuck Hasbro for unleashing the three garbarge Transformers movies, and fuck them doubly for this. A stupid movie based on a board game with no fan base.
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was there someone who already took the name creepythinmansrevenge and you needed to put the - in it? if so, did you kill that person yet?
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So you're not going to see Prometheus and Lincoln then?
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Looks like fucking shit.
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March 13, 2012, 1:33 p.m. CST
Fuck Boardgames. CAN I PLEASE SEE A FUCKING MACROSS (Robotech)FILM???
by the Green Gargantua
The Giants, the Mecha, the babes. It could be amaze balls.
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March 13, 2012, 1:37 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge, that's weird because only gays use the term "twink" FACT!
by JackSlater4
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...it looks like loads of big, dumb fun. Like a crazy amusement park ride, it may be worth the ticket price. Rihanna looks ridiculous in the previews and will no doubt hurt whatever "credibility" they were shooting for, but it could be Armageddon kinda entertaining.
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March 13, 2012, 1:41 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge hasn't been this excited since Beiber turned 18
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 1:45 p.m. CST
That's weird because urban dictionary puts the origin of the word twink in gay circles
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 1:48 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge a booger collection does not count as breeding
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 1:56 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge no one is going to adapt Mein Kampf for you
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 1:57 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge you should give football movies a try, there's a particular scene in Any Given Sunday I know you'd love
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 2:01 p.m. CST
I hope there are sweeping-shots of different cultures holding hands standing by a set of pillars as they watch the sky in anticipation of the end
by Ali Kerim Bey
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precisely because no one expected her to be there, and she is some kind of shape. She's got an action-herione body, not a sexpot's; all we need to know now is what level of stunts she can handle.
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March 13, 2012, 2:07 p.m. CST
she acted like she cared she was beat by her boyfriend for a couple years, i think she can pull this off
by Daniel
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Yeah I'll turn of my brain for 90 minutes. It looks shitty but what the hell
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So is this what Riggins and Landry do after leaving Dillon? I hope they bring an alien back for the FNL movie - he would be better QB than Saracen.
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It's is very completely obvious to me that this is total summer baysploitation type movies. I'm all for it, I expect to connect with something like prometheus, with this I just want Explosions, and to be able to tell who the supposed bad and good guys are. From what I can see, each new trailer shows even more destruction and pretty badass looking stuff. I might actually go see it.
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March 13, 2012, 2:16 p.m. CST
Holy crap, we're being invaded by Craftsman Tools!
by impossibledreamers
Rhianna gonna' have to step and beat those punk like she probably beat on Chris' ass. Sorry, I'm don't totally buy that girl was a victim of that little man.
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Remake? Check Board game? Check Great actor who's above the material (and is probably shilling for a payday)? Check Non acting musical pop star in a lead role? Check Another pretty boy actor being rammed down our throats as some new action star? Check Explosions over story? Check Already looks like two other shitty films? (Transformers and Battle Los Angeles) Check I'm sorry...I will not support another studio sanctioned exercise in utter shit. This thing is merely there to provide the warm blanket of mediocrity for bored, unchallenged, lazy people who just want their endorphin fix from seeing lots of 'splosions, tough military guys with guns, and robotic space aliens. Where's the story??? Or, like Transformers, is this just another military recruiting tool disguised as a Hollywood movie? Instead of complaining about how there are no great, challenging and innovating films being greenlit, why not stop supporting the soulless cash ins, hm?
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March 13, 2012, 2:17 p.m. CST
I hope Rhianna doesn't get "beaten up" by the critics on this one....
by Billy_D_Williams
yes, that was low, but i couldn't help it.
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I mean, y'know, an ACTUAL fact. As opposed to conjecture. The script is actually pretty good. I can't reveal any details for obvious reasons, but if they do it right, it can be a lot of fun. I know because (FACT) I wrote the novelization. PAD
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March 13, 2012, 2:20 p.m. CST
A few years ago I would have thought this was a parody trailer
by syn_flood
*sigh*
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March 13, 2012, 2:26 p.m. CST
Is Taylor Kitsch the new Channing Tatum? Sure is looking that way.
by openthepodbaydoorshal
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...so they'll stop showing the trailers in front of EVERY MOVIE. I'm so sick of seeing trailers for this. Worst trailer over-exposure since Shutter Island.
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March 13, 2012, 2:45 p.m. CST
Taylor Kitsch: this years Sam Worthington. Thank god Rihanna is in this to add the gravitas needed for such a thought provoking movie......
by cameron
...DANCING CLOWN SHOES CUMMIN' ATCHA!!
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My fadda tell me deyz comin for us. He say we fucked.
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Did anyone else notice the peg, thing, deal come flying out and stick in the deck of the ship? HIT! I wonder if they'll have white buoys floating in the water to indicate a miss?
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March 13, 2012, 2:55 p.m. CST
Taylor Kitsch, Sam Worthington, and Channing Tatum should all be in Expendables 3.
by Royston Lodge
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March 13, 2012, 2:59 p.m. CST
Film makers today need to realize that more isnt really more and seeing...
by some dude
...every little detail of everything before, during, and after it happens doesnt make something more cool or interesting. This trailer alone had several shots detailed just how the alien weaponry seems to work and of course its stupidly detailed to the point you cant really discern what's going on but that's not even my gripe. My gripe is why do we need to see any of that in the first place? What is the "point" of that scene that isnt already told to us in some other aspect or already bluntly obvious. It really doesnt do anything for the movie itself seeing as there is a ton of eye candy already so it just gets lost amongst the explosions and other tiny pieces in other padded CG scenes. The scene is particularly interesting in terms of story as obviously its just showing us how one of their "missles" is put together and fired. Its just a useless bit of fluff amongst a ton of other useless bits of fluff.
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But at least that trailer, as compared to the first two, actually makes the movie look like something worth seeing. The other trailers were complete fucking jokes. This trailer takes it in a direction I'm not exactly thrilled with, which is a transformer-y retarded "no real plot" route...but at least its a route to take. Everything else out of this has just been bland.
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Mark my words. In 2015, you'll be watching the sequel's trailer. Count on it.
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March 13, 2012, 3:13 p.m. CST
but just watching destruction for a couple of hours isn't going to be enough
by ravenloff
It will this summer. You're forgetting this is a presidential election year. We will ALL need some escape.
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Trying to add something constructive, probably just jerking off. Anyway: I don't find CGI effects to provide much of a sense of peril or threat. Everything is too glossy and clean, and the actors never quite give off that dripping-with-adrenaline fear. There's no mass to anything- everything is moving, buckling, breaking, burning, and blowing up, but I never get a sense of impact or gravity. It all looks like a fight in a snow globe. There's just no risk to the characters, and without that, I don't care. I don't think the problem is concept; this movie looks silly, but so were Independence Day and Die Hard, etc. I loved them. I think the problem is that the actors can't engage with the blank digital nothingness. Remember how watching Die Hard in the theater made you feel? Or Cliffhanger? When a car crash in a movie was exciting? Or a character's fall from a height made your stomach drop? Most CGI doesn't have that, at least not right now. As an effect, I think it really only works if you don't notice it. I think of District 9 as a good example of CGI blending somewhat well and used appropriately. Okay, flame away you vicious bastards and occasional rare bitches. I can take it.
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Teenagers and fireworks.
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March 13, 2012, 3:23 p.m. CST
Seeing opening day for sure! I only watch CGI porn in theaters. Movies I care about I wait for home.
by Pixelsmack
Opposite of what most do I think. This film looks to be a fun ride!
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March 13, 2012, 3:27 p.m. CST
I hope they don't kill of Liam Neeson too early in this film...
by KEVIN_COSTNERS_RECYCLED_PISS
But I know they will.
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March 13, 2012, 3:37 p.m. CST
your gay and lame if you dont think this looks awesome...IM AN AICN HIPSTAAAR N I DONTZES LIKE NETHANG
by Daniel
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March 13, 2012, 3:38 p.m. CST
Rihanna. HAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAAAHHHAHAAAHAHHAH! This WILL be shit!
by planetran_fan
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Not only will we be watching the trailer in 2015... We'll all probably be arguing about how it won't be as good as the original.
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You sank my Battleship!
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is the name of a battleship :-)
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Either I'm getting old, or that movie looks completely and utterly stupid.
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There's king fish out there!
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March 13, 2012, 3:50 p.m. CST
BTW, can we all agree now that Taylor Kitsch is not a movie star?
by Orbots Commander
And neither is that Worthington cat. One of the few real deal younger actors that can command a movie screen is Ryan Gosling, and I suspect that by time he eventually does a big budget studio tentpole film, he'll be choosing better scripts than BATTLESHIP.
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The Bayformers of this year - hope it fucking sinks… And I don't like being negative, but fuckit - Berg shouldn't have swapped Mann for Bay as his favourite Michael.
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For the fuckwits who are saying "hasn't Hollywood/the studios/whatever learned anything from John Carter" in the talkback for this trailer, what the fuck do you expect!?! JC was released this week! Battleships wasn't made in the last couple of days, so when were they supposed to "learn the lesson"!?! It's not like they could look at the JC box office on Monday and say "bollocks, that's not very good, let's not release that other movie we've spent hundreds of millions on already"!! God there are a few fucking idiots on this site!!!
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just look at it! An alien invasion in which battleships save the day! I'm sure people at West Point are laugh there asses off at this film. Can I enjoy just a 'fun' summer movie? Sure, I liked Independence Day and the Green Hornet. Can I enjoy a movie so dumb it's not much more unrelated implausible events? No, I didn't like Transformers or Green Lantern. This is the type of movie that proves Hollywood thinks we are all idiots.
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Obviously Liam's pride don't sting too much when he is cashing those 7 figure checks.
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March 13, 2012, 4:15 p.m. CST
Thank you creepythinman, once again you have made me literally laugh out loud
by Tank Williams
Oh and this movie looks shitty as the upmost shitty can get... Seriously fuck this crap-tastic-bay-look-a-like bullshit!
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March 13, 2012, 4:16 p.m. CST
Rihanna... wow. Seriously im gonna avoid this movie like the fucking plague!
by Tank Williams
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March 13, 2012, 4:17 p.m. CST
Please Nolan and Co... Release a new Batman trailer to wash the shit of this trailer outta my mouth!
by Tank Williams
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March 13, 2012, 4:20 p.m. CST
Why the fuck would you ban creepythinman... He provides enough entertainment in one sentence than a whole episode of the walking dead. Fact!!
by Tank Williams
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March 13, 2012, 4:20 p.m. CST
When did they start letting black people into the military?
by SatansPenis
Uh-oh...
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March 13, 2012, 4:30 p.m. CST
Fuck this movie up it's fucking ass!!! Sorry for the vituperation, but no other words can correctly describe how i feel.
by AsimovLives
Fuck this shit! I hope this fucking movie fails so spectaculary at the box office that makes JOHN CARTER looks like AVATAR. I want this movie to fail so epically it completly redefines the concept of flop. I want that this movie fucks up the career of everybody involved with this shit (save for Liam Neeson) to the point they have to serve tables to make ends meets. I hate everything that has to do with this movie, and i hate everything this movie represents in regard to today's holywood blockbuster filmmaking. I hope this movie fails so teribly it brings an ending to an era in holywood's history the same way the flopping of HEAVEN'S GATE did in the past. Fuck this shit!
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a) Am a big fan. b) Why new 'J.J.verse' Trek novels? It's like low-hanging fruit Paramount is just ignoring. Oh, and I think this movie looks fun. So many haters out here....
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Why does every single line from these trailers sound as if it was just recycled from another movie? It's as if they just took 100 generic action movie scripts, threw them in a blender, hit frappe, and cut-pasted the results into a new script.
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I hope this technology-challenged crew read the U.S. Navy release last week about all the top line battleships coming out of retirement because they're going to be fitted with Phase 2 Rail Guns (ranger 200 km) that fire a 10-inch smart shell. Hey, they're your Navy, not mine. Up in Canada, we have to hire Russian icebreakers to keep our ships in motion. Finally, that idiot Michael Bay predicted this in Transformers 2. Life is strange.
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Its because they are recycled from other movies. Sad right. Actually, sad pretty much sums up this whole movie
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Not attractive - she's more threatening-looking than pretty. I'd rather watch a Snorg Tees girl for 2 hours.
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I had high hopes for Rihanna's film career, but when she started running around with Chris Brown again, and the whoring way she is living her life, it all adds-up to a real disappointing turn-off. Don't like women who act like stereo-typical males, as it makes a woman anything but a lady. Add to that, the movie looks terrible, and you've completely lost my ticket money. Worse still, this is based upon the board game Battleship, where does it say aliens and UFOs in the game, or its rules? This was a dumb gimmick to introduce into this film, and I am a lover of science fiction and fantasy saying this, BTW, but it doesn't fit with the concept of the game.
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March 13, 2012, 5:27 p.m. CST
So is Rihanna going to get back together with the aliens after they sink her battleship?
by some dude
Come on, how have I not seen more jokes like this?
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March 13, 2012, 5:30 p.m. CST
I heard Rihanna and Chris brown are gonna collaborate on a dubstep cover of Smack My Bitch Up for the soundtrack
by JackSlater4
there you go the_hawaiian_stallion
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March 13, 2012, 5:34 p.m. CST
Where are the white and red pegs? There MUST be pegs or this movie will fail.
by gk1
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March 13, 2012, 5:38 p.m. CST
Aliens in a Battleship movie? That'll go over about as well as zombies in a Pirates of A Caribbean movie
by JackSlater4
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And you people would cum in your pants about it.
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March 13, 2012, 5:48 p.m. CST
Thank fucking God this'll be an expensive bomb because then we won't get Ojujia, Monopoly, Risk, Candyland, etc.
by Al
Come out, bomb hard, and go away. I think The Dictator comes out that weekend too, thank fuckin Christ.
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March 13, 2012, 5:49 p.m. CST
Seriously, who does think this could be good? Stand up and be proud! AICN getting payola like they did for GI JOE doesn't count
by Al
Sorry.
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Because Cohen's schtick isn't worn out, and as we learned in Borat, it works SO well when scripted.
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March 13, 2012, 6:13 p.m. CST
Please tell me someone uses the line "You sank my battleship"
by v1cious
That would make this a classic.
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March 13, 2012, 6:14 p.m. CST
I'd watch Dictator 3 times before seeing 30 minutes of this movie, easily
by Al
At least I'll get a goddamn laugh out it, intended. not this piece of crap. seriously, I usually wait until a movie comes out to judge it but fuck this shit in it's ear.
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March 13, 2012, 6:20 p.m. CST
Tallboy6t6 - *I usually wait until a movie comes out to judge it but fuck this shit in it's ear.*
by F This
Fucking WIN. That shit had me cracking up.
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you said it.
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March 13, 2012, 6:27 p.m. CST
Were you being facetious, Tallboy? Because Candyland and Weegee (fuck scrolling up to learn how it's spelled) are in development.
by Pvt. Duke
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Seriously, how do that get all of that from a board game.
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March 13, 2012, 6:35 p.m. CST
Uh, thin man, the only reason why Hollywood is making any pro-military movies right now...
by victor82
...is because their guy is in power. Have you forgotten how many lemontard Iraq films Hollywood tried to pass off to empty theaters (Lions for Lambs, Redacted, etc.) during the Bush era.? Hollywood sucks the cock of power, especially that which reciprocates.
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...mightyfine bald trim.
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Failed because it was a stupid movie with terrible dialogue, by a weak director; not because anybody rejected its anti-war premise. Other Iraq war films suffered similar fates for being myopic and ham-fisted. You can't make war films while said war is still going on. It's just the way culture works.
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Is what 'tis.
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Successful anti-war films (pro-military is debatable, but I'd say at least some of these are anti-military, too) during Bush's presidency. Black Hawk Down Charlie Wilson's War The Hurt Locker (arguable, since it was made while W. was still president, but released in the US after) Brothers (same) Jarhead And, some successful pro-war movies from the same time period: Behind Enemy Lines Flags of our Fathers Atonement DOOM (qualifies if BATTLESHIP does) Enjoy your bubble, conspiracy theorist.
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March 13, 2012, 7:21 p.m. CST
There is NO POSSIBLE SCENARIO IN WHICH HUMANS, ESPECIALLY IN THE PERSON OF A BATTLESHIP CREW, COULD DEFEAT THIS KIND OF INVASION.
by kevred
My intelligence is already insulted, and I don't even know what the explanation is for this being possible. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, using good ol' American know-how and a bit of elbow grease IS NOT ENOUGH
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does anyone else remember when bobby brown got a role in ghost busters II for a ridiculous amount of cash? i don't know why i mentioned this.. or remember this for that matter. really i should have started and finished with WTF!?!?!?!
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The alien's unexpected weakness is hubris and excessive spending.
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March 13, 2012, 7:30 p.m. CST
They don't have to be aliens from another planet, there's enough shit we don't know about in the ocean, that's the point
by JackSlater4
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It'll kill us off, that's for sure.
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...is what some kid is going to feel after seeing this movie and then buying the boardgame.
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AMAZING PLOT TWIST! They're probably related to the xeno-retards from SIGNS.
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You really feel threatened by Rihanna's looks? That says more about YOU that it does about her!
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If I’m attracted to her does that make me a furry?
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March 13, 2012, 8:52 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge your momma's so fat she's the first blockbuster of 2012 FACT!
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 8:52 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge your momma's so fat black and old she stunt doubled for King Kong FACT!
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 8:52 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge your momma's slow she makes Joss Whedon sound like an eloquent speaker FACT!
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 8:53 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge your momma's so fat old and hairy she shaved her back to make your Wompa cosplay FACT!
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 8:53 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge your momma's so fat I downloaded her picture and the bottom of my screen fell out FACT!
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 8:53 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge your momma's so fat one doritos cheese dusted finger print covers the surface area of an iPAD FACT!
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 8:53 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge your momma's so fat ugly old and hairy she stunt doubled for the white ape in John Carter FACT!
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 8:53 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge your momma's so fat when she sits in the corner of the trailer it gets 3 wheel motion FACT!
by JackSlater4
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March 13, 2012, 8:54 p.m. CST
creepythinmans-revenge your momma's so fat she's got "Tatooine Matte Painting" on her resume FACT!
by JackSlater4
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Can't wait!!!
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March 13, 2012, 9:33 p.m. CST
Bay SHOULD have done this..if fo no other reason that to make Rhianna go away..
by conspiracy
...when Bay was done with her shit she'd think Chris Brown was a saint. Really though...why didn't Bay do this...maybe he really did...as ths looks and even sounds like a Transformers flick.
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It lost all meaning years ago.
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Those are some of the best special effects ever produced in the history of cinema. If you think it's easy to produce a moving image of a transforming spaceship moving through the ocean then you're smoking fucking crack.
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Those were three great movies!!
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March 14, 2012, 1:09 a.m. CST
From the Michael Bay School of Filmmaking... Two Hours of Shit Blowin' Up!!!
by Mr. Pricklepants
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is this in 3D?
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March 14, 2012, 2:14 a.m. CST
= and instead want to see something with characters and story.=
by KilliK
yeah right.
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Battleship= worst film in history
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James Cameron better cast her as Jake and Neytiri's Na'vi daughter in Avatar 2 & 3.
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Gonna have a fun night at the flix with this one and plenty of popcorn.
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March 14, 2012, 4:11 a.m. CST
Collapsing skyscrapers = this decades 'huge cg army shot'
by Fortunesfool
I'm gonna ignore the existence of this movie. I see no point in even giving it the time of day.
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Jobbing TV directors who landed big screen gigs because the shows they worked on were REALLY WELL WRITTEN, not because they were well directed. Director - Hit your mark, say the line, i'll just wobble the camera about a bit. Audience - Wow this show is clever and funny. Director - yes, because morons assume I have complete control and create everything. Writers - Um. Director - shut up you. Go back to your desk and write some more clever, funny stuff. I'm gonna go make a huge hollywood blockbuster now which will look the same as every other hollywood blockbuster directed by a TV hack. Writers - Okay, but it'll be rubbish because the script will be written by a committee of toy experts and bean counters. Director - Shut up, no one cares about your opinion.
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i dont give a fuck about this shitty movie but i could stare at Rihanna's eyes all day...my god..
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March 14, 2012, 5:36 a.m. CST
=James Cameron better cast her as Jake and Neytiri's Na'vi daughter in Avatar 2 & 3.=
by KilliK
FUCK !!!!
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March 14, 2012, 6:31 a.m. CST
I'm looking forward to a time when all Hollywood churns out are 2 hour long exploding ads. Just explosions and product placements. Perfect entertainment for the DUMBEST COUNTRY ON EARTH.
by NeonFrisbee
In case you were wondering, I was referring to DUHmerica, though, to be fair, the rest of the world seems to be just as hypnotized by our vomit. It's a sad, sad time. De-evolution in realtime. You're witnessing it. Sigh.
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March 14, 2012, 6:40 a.m. CST
I used to think Michael Bay made the stupidiest movies ever made. This movie tasks that notion.
by AsimovLives
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The word is 'devolution', it's been a part of the English language for quite some time now.
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March 14, 2012, 8:28 a.m. CST
Actually, both de-evolution and devolution are accepted spellings of the same concept. Retrograde evolution.
by NeonFrisbee
But, thanks.
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!!!FACT!!!
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And in this movie we get oodles and oodles of shots of exploding seamen !!!!
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March 14, 2012, 10:33 a.m. CST
Please don't compare shit like this to Independence Day.
by Royston Lodge
The behind-the-scenes, how-it-was-made stuff for Independence Day is fascinating.
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We are Devo. D-E-V-O.
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in the same way the Harry Potter books are good storytelling. Tons of plot holes and stock characters, but the story and characters are developed in such a way that you care about the stock characters and can ignore the plot holes. For me, anyway. I doubt Battleship will even come close to accomplishing that.
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March 14, 2012, 11:15 a.m. CST
I WANNA JOIN THE NAVY TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM ALIEN INVASION!
by Buck Turgidson
I think Rihanna was meant to bring much needed gravitas to the proceedings. ;-)
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I like zombies.
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the ultimate fantasy of ebony lesbian erotica.FUCK!!!
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Perhaps in Avatar II, Neytiri cheats on Jake with another hot Na'vi chick named Nabooba, portrayed by Rihanna* via James Cameron's super duper performance capture technology. Come one and all... see Zoe Saldana and Rihanna make sweet Na'vi hair tentacle love in Avatar II, in stunning IMAX 3D! * Rihanna actually kinda sounds like it could be a Na'vi name doesn't it?
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This is what I'm talking about, get used to seeing more mindless Bull-ish like this. As droves line up for it, while decent movies never get made because hollywood needs it to make 300 plus mill.
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with Zoe making hot Navi love with Riri,it would have broken the record of the total grosses of Titanic and Avatar together.
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March 14, 2012, 2:30 p.m. CST
AVATAR II, featuring Saldana and Rihanna in an alien love scene under that awesome fiber optic tree of light
by lv_426
5 billion domestic gross. 10 billion worldwide box office. 15 billion total box office draw!!!!!
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March 14, 2012, 2:34 p.m. CST
AVATAR III, featuring an epic Na'vi orgy at the climax of the film, in 4D filmed at 120 fps!!!!!!!!
by lv_426
Sigourney returns in her Na'vi form. Charlize Theron makes an appearance as a merc from Earth who gets an avatar body. Rihanna and Zoe Saldana have hair sex with each other and an avatar version of Olivia Wilde!!!! AVATAR III Budget = 2 billion dollars Total Box Office Earnings = 1 trillion dollars!!!!!!
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Is what I meant to say
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you guys are fucking sick!!
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That sounds like my life right now... only not exploding so much. The great thing about these films on the other hand, is that you don't have to deal with them if you don't want to... movies consistently have this advantage over real life I'd like to think... Unless your fantasy man on a quest to rid the talkbacks of what you consider mentally disabled nonsense... you go Asi! It would be interesting for you to seriously critique this up against any of the Transformers movies when it's released. I hope the script is good.
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March 14, 2012, 3:04 p.m. CST
I'll do you one better... EXPLODING RETARDS: Rise of the Tard Lords
by lv_426
In 3D Tardovision... coming summer 2013. Starring that werewolf dude from Twilight.
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...keep using the work retard. Nice way to move up the civility ladder. It must be nice up there on your golden podium where you can use deragotory words like this in order to sound cool. I'd love to see what you look like so that we, in turn could also judge...but in this case, judge you. You idiot little bastard loser. Your mom did a great job raising such a good kid.
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You mean alien humanoid cats.well since when James Kirk got for him some of that alien green poontang.FACT.
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March 14, 2012, 4:18 p.m. CST
Fake ass CGI overload. I need some drugs to kill the pain that is Hollywood.
by IronEagle74
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March 14, 2012, 4:58 p.m. CST
What a fucking mess! Will definitely watch this movie if the alternative is...
by AllThosePowers
...licking clean some fat bird's knickers, freshly skid-marked, after she's run on a treadmill for an hour.
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March 14, 2012, 5:06 p.m. CST
killik, no, i mesn fucking blue cats. With grills. Which is even fucking worst!!
by AsimovLives
Star Trek and it's painted babes as na excuse because it's painted babes. Recognizable painted babes. Avatar has fucking giant blue cats with fucking grills!! Since when catfishes are erotic??
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you won the cork medal for the useless PC nonsense post of the day. Congratalations. Here's two tickets for SHIT EXPLODING FOR RETARDS: THE MOVIE. Enjoy.
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You think i'm going to bother to watch this shit? This movie has a script? News to me!
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What the fuck are you talking about? Peter Berg wrote and directed Very Bad Things and Friday Night Lights, and was an actor and writer long before he directed anything. I don't see that he's even directed all that much television, outside of Friday Night Lights, a show HE FUCKING CREATED. Abrams was a writer and showrunner (and in fact, that's where his strengths lie. He's a terrible director). Clark Johnson is the only director who fits your bill, but I'd say that's just because he has no taste in scripts. But he doesn't get hired for anything even approaching blockbuster status.
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don't embarrass yourself by suggesting otherwise! You will be lapping this up and letting us all know what you think, just like your doing now.
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