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While Moriarty saw this new badass X-MEN stuff, I sat.... at an airport for about 5 hours waiting for my plane to be 'fixed'. Having only one quarter in my pocket, I placed it in the nearest slot machine, pulled the one armed bandit's arm and sat and watched as 800 quarters spewed out of the machine. The first thought to enter my head, "What the fuck am I gonna do with 800 quarters?" Then the second thought was.... "Wow, all the lapdances and drinks at the O.G. cost me only a quarter! Man, that shit is so much better than a video game!" I then went on to do about 5 interviews via my cel phone about this whole Wall Street Journal Oscar Poll thingee. Sigh... "FACETIOUS-Wonder why they called me-SUOITECAF" Now, I know how you good folks feel. Sigh. I WANNA SEE THE X-MEN THINGEE NOW!!! Sigh... Here's the evil genius with his ILLEGAL CAR HE DROVE ACROSS STATE LINES IN BROAD DAYLIGHT WITH NO LICENSE PLATES!

Hey, Head Geek…

"Moriarty" here.

Well, I'm back in the Labs, secure in my titanium-reinforced bunker, relaxing, the dog-headed mutant henchmen watching the doors. I didn't think I was going to make it, but I did. I literally took the drive from Vegas at a dead gallop, averaging 120 miles per hour the whole way. I had to get out of Vegas. The mojo was getting too strange. I found out that someone had stolen the license plate off the MoriartyWagon this morning, right on the heels of learning about Harry's grandmother, just before being banned from the Fox press line. All these things began to stack up, and I could tell that Vegas had decided that my luck was up. The city can turn on you like that. One minute you're pulling $200 in quarters out of a slot machine, the next minute you're grounded in a plane for hours while they fix "mechanical problems" on the thing that's supposed to carry you home. You drop $4000 at a table, then have your film showcased as the centerpiece of the Fox lunch the next day. Good, bad, yin, yang. When you feel your luck changing, don't fight it. Just hop in the car or climb on a plane and get the fuck out of Dodge. That's what we decided today.

To be perfectly frank, I didn't care that I was banned from the press line by Fox, since Harry and I were both dealing with different crises all morning long. Besides, after some of the poisonous conversations we've had with journalists on the line, we're getting the distinct feeling that we don't belong in the same holding pen as the rest of them. They resent us and our methods. There's a lot of open animosity and jealousy. One guy had an outburst earlier in the week in which he railed about us swooping in and getting special treatment after all the years he's worked at this business. All I can offer to people like that is a reminder: we're not in your business. This site is not just another press outlet where we regurgitate press releases, where everything is of equal merit, no matter what the quality. We only do this because we enjoy it. If working a press line turns you into one of those people, then maybe being banned is a good thing.

Instead, I just showed up in time to take my seat for the luncheon itself. I thought the opening presentation of Humanitarian of the Year to Tom Sherak was a genuinely warm and touching event. I had no idea the amount of work that Sherak does for charities around the country, with an emphasis on MS charities. There was a film that had been specially prepared for the event today that featured Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Lucas, Joe Roth, Larry Gordon, Gordon Radley from Lucasfilm, a shitload of Fox execs, John Davis, Warren Beatty (who was notably funny), The Farrelly Brothers, Bill Pullman, the full cast of BEDAZZLED, Danny De Vito ("I never realized Tom was a vegetarian"), Sherak's wife Madeline (in a truly moving moment), his son William, and assorted other daughters and grandchildren. This guy's been blessed with a fairly huge family. There were a number of other faces that went by, all of them speaking about him in glowing terms.

In addition, there were these great segments cut into the thing of Sherak appearing in various Fox films from over the years. For example, there was the classic shot of the X-wings making their run on the Death Star, but when we cut to the cockpit, it's Sherak who makes the deciding shot. There's a scene from ALIENS, when the Queen Mother is hunting Newt and the loader crashes through the wall, only to reveal Sherak inside snarling, "Get away from her, you bitch!" It was very funny to see him inserted into various classic movie moments. This presentation was probably longer than the entire Fox product reel presentation, but it seemed to be a heartfelt expression, and it obviously affected Sherak deeply.

Finally, they began the presentation of the actual film clips by bringing up Bill Mechanic. He said that all he was allowed to discuss was the summer slate of films from Fox, which meant that he wasn't going to be allowed to mention CAST AWAY or the fact that Tim Burton has closed his deal to direct PLANET OF THE APES or the work that's being done on INDEPENDENCE DAY 2 or DIE HARD 4. Instead, he was going to have to just start at the beginning with TITAN A.E. He talked about how animation was a major new medium for Fox to explore and how proud they were of this "groundbreaking" new film of theirs, ironic since they just laid off most of the Arizona staff a month or so ago. He pitched the film as something for everyone, not just for kids, emphasizing the score by Graeme Revell and Glenn Ballard and the FX work by ILM.

The trailer begins with the Fox logo, then we see shots of the Earth as it once was. "I was born in the year 3023," Matt Damon says in voice-over as "Right Here, Right Now" plays on the soundtrack. "Humans had already conquered space." We see wheat fields, shots of pastoral scenes. In the sky, giant rockets leave magnificent trails. "Even though it was easy to travel to the farthest galaxy, we always thought Earth would be home." Then we see hover vehicles cut across those wheat fields, and when we see Matt Damon's character for the first time, he's watching all this, narrating. There's a panic that spreads through all the humans, word of something coming, and suddenly the entire Ballroom went dark. "We were wrong, and we had to leave." Red lights began to flash all over the room, sirens went off, and people in yellow jumpsuits began to run through the room with flashlights as a countdown began on every screen in the room, backwards from 30, as a series of truly deafening explosions went off. It was madness for a few moments, twice as loud as anything on the Sony reel, which many people (not me) criticized as too loud.

At zero, the movie screen came back on, and we watched the Draj destroy the Earth, the big moment from the movie. It's a pretty preposterous sequence. The moon gets taken out by debris, there's all sorts of narrow escapes. It's definitely big time eye-candy in at least one way. The CG modeling is aggressive, visually exciting. The big problem is that by the end of the trailer that kicks in after that sequence, it's overkill. Literally every shot looks just like the one before. It's all swooping and running and exploding. Matt Damon and Drew Barrymore don't have the most distinct voices I've ever heard (no slight on them as actors… just as animated leads), so neither of them leaves much impression in the trailer. Another pop song with the chorus, "Can you take me higher?" plays at magnificent volume throughout. "20th Century Fox invites you to enter a world without laws, without rules, without limits. It's the beginning of the next generation of animation. TITAN A.E. Get ready for the human race." The website address - -- comes up, and that's that.

After the event, I heard a number of people talk about the footage, and it wore them out more than anything. Drew Barrymore was brought up to speak after the reel was shown. She was cute, but barely opened her mouth for more than a second. She said she enjoyed doing the voice, then split. Hardly seemed worth the effort. I understand the whole concept of bringing the stars up to impress the crowd, but if it's not Bill Murray who's willing to go the whole nine yards, then what's the point? Jim Carrey, who could have wowed the crowd, stayed in his seat during the whole Fox event, only yelling something once that was actually hard to make out. Grrr…

HARRY NOTE: I'm very much looking forward to TITAN AE, while I didn't have the chance to see this footage, my quarter-speak here is just to take up bandwidth cause I can do what I want to on here! Hahahaah... Actually, I'm hoping this is as cool as SPACE ACE, but with a dramatic arc to it, instead of just a visceral thrill. At some point at SHOWEST someone told me they heard the scifi inspiration for TITAN AE wasn't Star Trek or Star Wars or Flash Gordon, but OUTLAND! I have to say, that has me excited to see what all the hub bub's about.

Anyway, the next trailer was about to be introduced when Mechanic got cut off and it just started. We saw someone rolling stockings up a leg, and then the room went dark. For about three minutes, all 4000 of us just sat there in the pitch black of the Grand Paris Ballroom. All around me, people made nervous jokes. One guy whipped out a lighter like he was at a concert. It was an embarrassing technical glitch, and they made the mistake of keeping Mechanic's mic off during it. He could have passed the torch to Sherak, who could have told more of his jokes. He killed when the WHERE THE HEART IS screening went off the tracks the night before. Finally, they got it fixed and Mechanic introduced the clip by talking about what a gifted performer Martin Lawrence is. Even though BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE has only been shooting for a few weeks, they decided to cut a quick reel and bring it. I'm sorry they felt the need to do so. This thing feel flat. Way flat. Penny off the top of the Empire State Building flat. It's Martin Lawrence as an FBI agent who is assigned to protect Nia Long, forcing him to disguise himself as a big fat grandmother to do it. It's MRS. DOUBTFIRE with a gun. It's painful. I could barely sit still during it. Trailers like this make me squirm something fierce. I can't stand high concept comedies that don't work. To me, they're one of the deadliest genres. People who accused Martin of running his TV series like a minstrel show aren't going to be any happier with this thing. I guess the whole joke here is having him play basketball as a fat old lady. Ha freakin' ha.

HARRY NOTE: Martin Lawrence is like a cat thrown in the air like that ROAD WARRIOR stunt man... this cat always seems to land on his feet. Martin has made numerous TERRIBLE trailers, but somehow pulls out decent (note: I didn't say good or great) movies that mildly entertain in that HBO afternoon sort of way. I expect the same here, from the description Moriarty has given.

The next reel up was a total surprise to me, and a pleasant one. In fact, this film just leapt way up on my radar. When Harold Ramis is on (GROUNDHOG DAY, GHOSTBUSTERS), he's as good as anyone. When he's off (ANALYZE THIS), it can be painful. It looks to me like he was the absolute perfect choice to update a film that, until now, I couldn't imagine updating, BEDAZZLED. I've always loved the Peter Cook/Dudley Moore original. It's got a really savage sense of humor, and it genuinely plays tough with theological ideas. This time around, Brendon Fraser plays Elliott, a goof with no social graces who manages to alienate everyone he comes into contact with. We see him trying to ask out his various co-workers for a night at the bar, but everyone snubs him. We see him at the gym, trying to dress for a basketball game and only managing to get totally tangled in his sweatpants. We see him run into everyone who said they were busy, all hanging out together at a bar. He invites himself to sit down with them, and he's just about to drive them all away when Allison walks in. She's a goddess, a stunning beauty, and all his co-workers can see how bad Elliott's crush on her is. They goad him into talking to her, and she shoots him down within seconds. It's brutal, and even in this brief montage, it's obvious that Fraser's got his comic chops in fine working form here. He's obnoxious, but he's sweet about it, oblivious to why no one likes him. He's just himself, no apologies. As Allison walks away, he whispers, "Dear God, I would give anything to get that girl in my life," and that's when things really kick in. A pool cue comes flying off a table, bouncing, then rolling up to Elliott and stopping against his foot. He retrieves it and looks up to find Liz Hurley standing at the table. She motions for him to bring the ball to her. He does, and they begin trading great quick quips back and forth. Whoever thought of her as the successor to Peter Cook should get a lovely bonus vacation day this year as special thanks. She looks perfect for the job. She offers Elliott seven wishes, and he immediately asks to be rich and powerful and married to Allison.

BAM! Wish number one comes true, and he wakes up in a plush, magnificent bedroom, Allison by his side. He looks sort of like Alfred Molina in this scene, with a big fake nose, a big moustache, and longer dark hair. He gets up, checks the place out, and is dumbfounded. It's everything he wanted. He runs downstairs, which is where he bumps into a butler. The older man asks in Spanish (with English subtitles), "Good morning, sir, can I get you anything?" Brendon answers (also is Spanish with subtitles), "I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish," then realizes that he said it in Spanish. He tries again with the same results. "Hey! I'm speaking in Spanish!" Delighted, he begins to rattle off crazy phrases in Spanish to hear how they sound. "I'm sorry, but I am very allergic to shellfish!" It's very funny, and Fraser chews it up.

From there, the rest of the trailer was quick cuts and cast names. This looks like a wonderful funny take on the old idea of making a deal with the devil and never truly getting what you want. Every wish he makes, Elliott gets screwed in some way. All Hurley does is give him what he asks for, filling in the blanks he inevitably leaves with details of her own choice. I hope this lives up to this wonderful reel. If so, it could be a great classic comedy.

HARRY NOTE: I've read the script for this project, and it could work, especially if the footage and look of the film is as solid as James G is describing. The script has the potential to be a very fun film, far more watchable by a mass audience than the original Dudley Moore film, which I happen to love and personally feel this film can never hope to eclipse... but wisely, they are taking it in a bit of a different approach.

Next up was the one that I had specifically gone to see, and it was well worth any wait Fox might have imposed. The new X-MEN trailer is pretty damn cool. The description run here the other day was fairly accurate. Bryan Singer came out before the clips ran and explained that the film's only been in the can for about three days, and that there are only eight finished FX shots out of 370-plus right now. Keeping that in mind, there are some great images here. I saw an optic blast, and it was exactly as it should be. I saw an amazing shot of Wolverine as his claws slide gently from slits on the back of his hand. I saw a shot of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants as they walked over a deep chasm, Magneto using metal to build a bridge in front of them as they walked. I've seen Bruce Davison railing in front of Congress about the Mutant threat. The tag line is great: TRUST A FEW. FEAR THE REST. THIS SUMMER, THE THING WE ARE MOST AFRAID OF IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL SAVE US. I love the last exchange between Xavier and Magneto. "You have to give the humans time. They're evolving." "Not anymore." Now this thing is starting to really look like a comic book come to life. I am going to give the film every benefit of the doubt. Innocent until proven guilty. I want Singer and company to pull it off. All the mutants got a significant amount of screen time here. Jean Grey is very cool, very well-handled. Cyclops looks like a bad-ass, but not compared to Wolverine. I didn't realize how much Hugh Jackman can look like Russell Crowe. It's almost a little spooky, to tell the truth.

This was such a relief for me. If X-MEN works, then we may truly see the floodgates opened on similar material. I know Sam Hamm just recently turned in a draft of FANTASTIC FOUR to the same studio, and I'd love to see this sort of material start being treated really well. All it's going to take is this and SPIDER-MAN working, and we might just get those amazing sights we've waited our whole lives to see, all our favorite heroes finally come to real life before our eyes.

Well, a fan can dream, can't he?

HARRY NOTE: Moriarty sucks. Me hate stupid airport. Me wanna see trailer special thingee now. FOX! GET THIS TRAILER ONLINE LIKE YESTERDAY!

The last film Fox presented to us was ME, MYSELF & IRENE. Now, I just had a chance to really go through my mailbox for the first time since Harry first came to town two weeks ago, and I'm noticing that there was a screening of the film while he was here. If I'm not mistaken, it was the night we went to see Trey Parker and Matt Stone at the DGA. I loved the SOUTH PARK event, but it pisses me off that there was a great test screening while Harry was here, but we didn't go. I'm thinking of dragging out the Time Machine so that we can take a quick jaunt back and see the film. If it's half as funny as the wicked, filthy reel that was shown today, then it will be worth the trip. Jim Carrey looks to be in top form playing both Charlie and Hank, two personalities in one body, both of whom fall for the lovely Renee Zelweger. I've read the script to this film, and it's a million times funnier onscreen. There's a real magic to what the Farrellys are doing these days. The last shot of this reel was a bring-the-house-down hoot in which nice guy Charlie has finally had sex with Irene, and the two of them are lying together. "So why was he better?" he asks. "I'm not going to answer that, Charlie," she responds. He pushes her, though. "Come on… what was it? Did he do tricks? Did he do something special?" He keeps badgering her until she finally snaps, "He was bigger, okay?" Charlie thinks about it, tries to make sense of it, finally asks in a small, humbled voice, "Are you sure?" She nods. "MUCH bigger." It's a good thing there wasn't a scene after this… no one would have heard it over the long, extended laughter of the crowd. It reminded me of the ending of that original PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES trailer. Great. Very, very funny.

HARRY NOTE: It is my opinion that this movie will prove Adam Sandler to be the hack that he is. (note: I don't like Sandler movies, notable exception THE WEDDING SINGER) This movie will undoubtedly cross some 'good taste' lines, and for that.... I'm anxious. After revealing the pre-date spank, what could they possibly show us to revulse and make us convulse at the same time? I look forward to Moriarty breaking out the Time Machine. I want to go back and see that screening NOW!

And that was it. We were hustled out with basically no more fanfare, and that was the end of ShoWest for me. I'm sorry I missed this year's Awards Ceremony. There were some great people being honored like Carrey, Angelina Jolie, Michael Clarke Duncan, Anthony Minghella, Ving Rhames, Alan Ball, and the Maestro, John Williams. It would have been nice, but circumstance just wasn't having any. Next year, we're taking a truckload of AICNers and we're covering every inch of this thing. For such a deceptively simple event, ShoWest can kick your ass if you let it. So it is that this adventure of Harry and Moriarty comes to a close, not with a bang, but a giggle. Now it's up to me to keep a promise I made at the Miramax party and get my '90s lists up on the page and finished before the Oscars. I can't believe how many people are passionate about me finishing the things. I have a lot of work left to do before we're able to bring the Labs back to normal relaxed status. Guess I'd better get cracking on that and the next RUMBLINGS. Until then…

"Moriarty" out

Readers Talkback
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  • March 10, 2000, 7:33 a.m. CST

    800 Quarters

    by Kraven

    What to do with 800 quarters? Turn them into $200, give the cash to a guy at Fox and ask him to slip you the new X-Men trailer. If you strike out with hi, slip the dosh to Mike DeLuca and whisper...Lotr.

  • March 10, 2000, 7:39 a.m. CST

    X-Men, Carrey

    by Webster

    While I doubt any comic-related project will ever generate the buzz that the 1989 "Batman" did again (and you can thank the TV show for that), all this "X" talk may be worth the wait. But I can't wait for the new Farrelly movie!

  • March 10, 2000, 7:41 a.m. CST

    Job's a good 'un...

    by reni

    well done boys, really enjoyed reading it this week. Going off on a tangent, XMEN's success depends largely on how well they look after the role of Wolverine. Hugh Jackman looks really good in the trailer. Everyone else looks pretty boring by comparison.

  • March 10, 2000, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes

    by beetlegeuse88

    What the hell? Barely a mention by Moriarty. Who are they looking at to play Chuck Heston's role? Johnny Depp? Are the Apes gonna look like skeletons? What's up? Harry, Me Want More Information!

  • March 10, 2000, 7:59 a.m. CST

    We're Not What You Think...

    by Oliver Platt

    God I can't wait to see X-Men...Hey, Bedazzled doesnt sound half-bad! I'm not a big fan of Fraser, but it sounds like this might be decent.

  • March 10, 2000, 8:04 a.m. CST

    Yes, funny Carrey again

    by Rolande

    It's good that Jimbo is going bonzai with the comedy (not that MotM wasn't comedy, but it wasn't Jim's original comedy.) I can't wait to see Irene. When will it be released?

  • March 10, 2000, 8:08 a.m. CST

    Sounds like FOX really needs a good year

    by Ranger1138

    Between Herzog destroying the TV department and last years non Star WArs films.. it sounds like the rumors of Murdok wanting to dump most of the entertainment divisions might have some merit after all. I want Tighten to be good.. Please let it be good!

  • March 10, 2000, 8:14 a.m. CST

    x-men trailer

    by Mike the Bill

    Harry - you sound like a gully dwarf! actually, it suits you well. To be fair though, I do have to admit that I feel the same way. "Me wanna see Xguys and Titan, me wanna see now!" Anyway, I am very thankfull that SciFi is getting big. Now if someone would only make a great fantasy movie (the likes of which have not been seen since Conan).

  • March 10, 2000, 8:20 a.m. CST

    My God could have been killed!!!

    by StarBarella

    And where would that leave the ever-late 90's reports? Have you willed them to anyone? Bwahahaha.

  • March 10, 2000, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Analyze Wha?!

    by Kreegah!!!

    Whew. I just rented Analyze This a week ago and laughed maybe -- twice? One of the *unfunniest* wastes of time I've had the misfortune to endure. I only sat through it all 'cause I expected DeNiro to do SOMETHING! But, nah. Another notch in Bobby's Doo-Doo Belt. And Billy Crystal should be sent to Schtick Hades. Crom! oh. I still think X-Men'll suck.

  • March 10, 2000, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Die Hard 4? DIE HARD 4???

    by Ric Flair

    Is this definite? The Nature Boy is a HUGE Bruce Willis/Die Hard fan, so any info on this project would be greatlt appreciated...Like whether or not Bruce has signed on or if it's just in the talking stage. Info please, PLEASE. Wooooooo!

  • March 10, 2000, 9:02 a.m. CST


    by nightsir

    Fan wann see oder fan will SMASH PUNNY HUMANS! Everyone, start bombarding FOX to put that new X-Men-Trailer out NOW! Anyone who sees it, start spreading the news. Let the rest of us know, and don

  • March 10, 2000, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Ramis & Sandler

    by mrbeaks

    While well below the heights of GROUNDHOG DAY, which *is* a classic, I found ANALYZE THIS to be far from Ramis' worst. Lest we forget, Harold was also responsible for MULTIPLICITY and, *ugh*, CLUB PARADISE, which was probably one of the most excuciatingly "off" comedies of the last half-century. It's just an awful experience watching an impressive assemblage of comedic talent consistently strike false notes. As for Sandler, IMO, THE WEDDING SINGER and BIG DADDY were his worst efforts. I much prefer the aggressive idiocy of THE WATERBOY and HAPPY GILMOUR to those transparent attempts for mainstream acceptance.

  • March 10, 2000, 9:31 a.m. CST

    FIRST WIVES CLUB Launched The Modern Feminist Movement?

    by mrbeaks

    I thought LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR did that back in the seventies. Maybe it's the Diane Keaton thing throwing you off.

  • March 10, 2000, 9:32 a.m. CST

    What does Stanley Moon mean?

    by twindaggerturkey

    A remake of BEDAZZLED is a lousy idea. Elizabeth Hurley is SO not Satan. Hey! Did you know that John Woo (?!) made a HK version of BEDAZZLED? It's called TO HELL WITH THE DEVIL. I haven't seen it, but I'm sure it's something.

  • March 10, 2000, 9:36 a.m. CST

    That Giant Robot Film Is Being Directed By Michael Dinner

    by mrbeaks

    Michael Winner is busy putting together a project about the Nobel Prize winning founders of Hands Across America. Akiva Goldsman and playwright Richard Foreman are scripting.

  • March 10, 2000, 9:40 a.m. CST

    In Other News.....

    by Astro Pud

    Trading was crisp at the start of the day, with some brisk business on the floor. Rubber hardened and string remained confident. Little bits of tin consolidated, although biscuits sank after an early gain and stools remained anonymous. Armpits rallied well after a poor start. Nipples rose dramatically during the morning but had declined by mid afternoon, while teeth clenched and buttocks remained firm. Small dark furry things increased severely on the floor, whilst rude jellies wobbled up and down and bounced against rising thighs which had spread to all parts of the country by mid afternoon. After lunch, naughty things dipped sharply, forcing giblets upwards with the nicky nacky noo. Ting tang tong rankled dithely, little tipples pooped and poppy things went pong. Gibble gabble gobble went the rickety rackety roo...

  • March 10, 2000, 9:47 a.m. CST

    All fine and good but...

    by Capt FUBAR

    Yes, yes, we are all looking forward to the X Men trailer, blah blah, but we REALLY all want is a look at that supersecret project: The First Wives Fight Club!! C'mooooooooon Moriarty! Report on it!!

  • March 10, 2000, 9:58 a.m. CST


    by Acappellaman

    Relax, Grunter. I got excited by that too, but it's just the same X-Men teaser trailer we've all already seen. I can't believe Harry teased us like that...

  • March 10, 2000, 10:06 a.m. CST

    At the end of the article I had to suppress the urge to scream "

    by All Thumbs

    X-men...Titan AE...Me, Myself and Irene...I just hope they're good and worth the amount of money they're charging us. I find it quite ridiculous in what I've read that they're saying we film-goers would "gladly" (yes, I read "gladly" in one article) pay more than ten dollars to see a film in a quality, renovated theatre. Yes, but that is not going to happen for all of us! While on Spring Break I will go to the movies in a theatre that still has those aweful orangey, brown and reddish curtains from the late 70's. And the screen sucks and their version of better sound is to turn it up too loud.

  • March 10, 2000, 10:10 a.m. CST

    Bedazzled looks good, huh...

    by agentcooper

    ...See, gang, not all remakes are bad news. I laughed out loud at the description of the scene where Fraser asks everyone in the office out to the bar, they are too busy, but are all there when he shows up anyway. I've heard there's a scene in Me, Myself, and Irene where Jim and Renee hit an animal with the car, then decide to kill it to put it out of its misery, but keep failing. Sick, yet funny...

  • March 10, 2000, 11:48 a.m. CST

    I hope the X-Men will set a new standard for comics2film.

    by superninja

    That the moviegoing audience is ready for a serious comic book film that approaches it with characterization in mind, and not just FX. Singer's realistic approach could be the way to handle comic material from here on out. I was at the chat with the actors yesterday on Yahoo!, and I couldn't believe how much research Marsden had done on Cyclops -- he knew the terminology and everything. Even Pacquin knew quite a bit of background on Rogue. I know that it's there job as actors, but I really felt that each of them understood what captured the essense of the character. Singer has really done something unique with this: 1) He has picked real actors, and not fanboys masquerading as actors (Cage, Printz, K. Reeves) or people who look just like the character but can't act (Danzig, Benoit, Everhardt); 2) He has made the characters REAL and put them in our world, instead of a pseudo-reality (Batman), and 3) he chose to focus on characterization, the whole reason we read comics in the first place.

  • March 10, 2000, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Re: In Other News

    by Cugel

    Couldn't have reported it better myself, at least not without the short-term cerebral benefits of a sustained lager-based Flying Circus/ Black Adder marathon.

  • March 10, 2000, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Harry & Moriarty, how 'bout some more news on ...

    by Cugel

    Alien 5. Haven't heard a damn thing about who's in the running to direct. Not to mention reviving the franchise and helping us all to irrevocably forget about the last two feeble and sad series efforts (sorry Fincher fans, but A3 was no Fight Club).

  • March 10, 2000, 1 p.m. CST

    Relics dug up in the Olympic Gardens

    by ReallyLuckyDay

    Harry, Moriarity, it's Lucky Day here with Dusty Bottoms. I think you should have called me Lucky night AND morning, but we won't get into that. Dusty and I read your post of our Vegas romp and we've decided to put down our guitars and start our own strip club. Dusty wants to call it 24 strips per second. Finally a strip club were you can talk film and get a good lap dance. Maybe the strippers can dress up like stars of yesterday. Rita Layworth, Veronica Lick etc. that's just the film geek in Dusty again. Anyway we've got another Mariachi gig up in Santa Barbara. Hope South By South West rocks! Your O.G Partners in Slime -Lucky & Dusty

  • March 10, 2000, 1:32 p.m. CST

    F*uck me

    by gilmour

    If First Wives'Club launched the feminist movement then i guess Hanging Up fucked it up the ass. I didn't realise the movement happened WAY back in the fall of 96'.Kids let me tell you back 96'we didn't have...

  • March 10, 2000, 2 p.m. CST


    by Owatonna

    There's a line from the Simpsons: "Making teenagers depressed is kind of like shooting fish in a barrel". The same goes for winding up talkbackers. Never use irony around here. Ever. It only upsets people. And fun though it is watching the ones who take it seriously froth and foam, it's not sporting or charitable. So give it a rest.

  • March 10, 2000, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Ric Flair.

    by BobBarker

    I live in Charlotte, NC. So does that putz Ric Flair. I've met the guy...I even checked out movies to him, when I worked at Blockbuster. Now, firstly, I have no respect for wrestlers, wrestling, or people who watch it. But...on top of that...Ric Flair is a Grade A asshole. Just a complete waste of protein.

  • March 10, 2000, 5:30 p.m. CST


    by The Kid

    I have Quicktime. And just to get this off my chest, I never got to see Trailer A (yes, THAT Trailer A) on the big screen. NOOOOOOOO, had to go see shitty PSYCHO "recreation" for birthday party......couldn't download that one either.

  • March 10, 2000, 6:48 p.m. CST

    To Superninja

    by Niiiice

    But don't forget that comics take place entirely in the realm of fantasy, so I felt that the pseudo-realistic atmosphere of the first two Batman films were appropriate. There's a central paradox in bringing something that is, by nature, fantastic, to film, which is of course realistic in that there are real people up there walking around on screen. As for why people read comics, characterization is of course a reason, but I think it's part of a larger reason, escapism, that drives people to spend their time reading about these adventures in improbable worlds. The very fact that they are unrealistic is what makes comics appealing, no? Who wants to read a comic about Joe P. Steel, Advertising Account Manager of Might?

  • Why am I not jealous?

  • March 10, 2000, 7:15 p.m. CST

    TITAN AE and OUTLAND? I'm hesitant.

    by Sorcerer

    To me, OUTLAND was a subpar reworking of HIGH NOON which had an unremarkable atmosphere (very ALIEN-like, but not fresh) and created some major plot problems in the transition. Granted, there were some good ideas and moments, and hopefully that's what TITAN A.E. will inherit. I think Liz Hurley might make a good Satan in BEDAZZLED, but truth be told I think she can do more than just be the "sultry evil woman." In AUSTIN POWERS she did a great job as a more refined, almost nerdish woman who also happened to be a total babe. She needs a better agent, because she's more talented than one would think. I basically have no predictions as to how X-MEN will turn out.All I know so far: Singer's okay, costumes are kinda MATRIX-y, cast is a mixture of people who I've liked in other projects and people I've never really seen anything of, trailer looks like it could be interesting but nothing in particular grabs me. I'm interested in seeing it, but have no expectations one way or another.

  • Niiice, you say that comics take place entirely in the realm of fantasy, but that's actually a somewhat broad statement. Sure, the basic notion of superheroes is fantastic in nature, but there are shades of gray beyond that. DC characters, for instance, all live in fictional cities, some of which are rather stylized (Metropolis at times, Opal City if you read "Starman", and of course, Gotham City). Hence, a stylized take on Gotham is reasonable for a movie. Marvel on the other hand, has always stationed their heroes in the "real world", notably New York City, and peppered their stories with pop culture references and current events. Therefore, I would expect their films to be a little more realistic than DC's. The Devil's Advocate in me must note, however, that the Fantastic Four is far more over-the-top than X-Men or even Spider-Man, though they all hang out in New York, and I personally would want them to be translated as "comic booky" as possible. Point is, even within the wacky world of superheroes, there are different degrees of realism. I think each movie will have to find it's own compromise between realism and fantasy. The important thing for the Hollywood bigwigs to remember, though, is that if they strip superheroes of *too many* of their sensational elements, they're forgetting what makes them cool and unique. Hmm...that was kind of rambling. Hope I made sense.

  • March 11, 2000, 12:12 a.m. CST

    Eduard Norton for peter parker!!!!!

    by Maciel

    Why don't you sugest to the sony guys , to cast eduard norton for the peter parker role?

  • March 11, 2000, 12:38 a.m. CST


    by Cowblaster

    Who the hell is Eduard Norton? Never heard of him. Now, Edward R. Norton as Peter Parker would be great. ;)

  • March 11, 2000, 2:30 a.m. CST

    Survey Says!

    by Nihl

    ......that the X Men is without a doubt gonna frustrate the fanboys of the world. What works in the comic book medium will not work on film. So dont expect to get an exact translation. Saw a trailer (dont know what one it was, and dont care), and it had a cool sequence of 'ol Wolvie doing acrobatics on the S O L, a few other clips, then him in front of Sabertooth on the S O L and "snikt!" his claws come out and I decided I'll shell out the cash to see this. Shallow, but that was a good shot. I just fear, though, that the principle of diminishing charachter returns will apply to this film. This theory, o myriad grasshoppers, is that the more charachters you put in a superhero movie, the worse it is because it lacks focus. Hence, the first batman, with 2 charachters, was good. THe second with 3, was ok. The third with 4 was bad. The fourth with 5 or 6 or whatever, well who knows, it was a collection of clips more than a movie. So will X men work? I cannot think it will work as a film. But it will have cool FX and on a big screen that, on an overcaffiated day, is enough for me to think I got my $5 worth.

  • March 11, 2000, 5:14 a.m. CST

    Various Ramblings Or Why I Hate Harry And Moriarty =)

    by Alex De Large

    first off, i don't know how accurate this is, but me, myself and irene is scheduled for a may 24th release date. and you can bet i'll be there =). and to counter the 'liz hurley is NO satan post,' i strongly disagree...satan himself couldn't tempt me like liz can! anyways, i just want to say once again how jealous i am of you two...and, for one, am glad that ShoWest is over, so i don't have to complain all night about not being. about the new x-men's gonna be damn tough to beat the new mi2 trailer...but with moriarty's description, i'm actually looking foreward to the movie now and not just waiting until spider-man comes out. my kingdom for jason lee!!! until then, just counting down the time until episode 2 =)-Alex

  • March 11, 2000, 5:31 a.m. CST


    by BV

    It's bout time Graeme got some good gigs!!! GO FOX!!!

  • March 11, 2000, 7:55 a.m. CST

    Oh, and Di

    by BV regards to your comments on wrestling...SUCK IT!!!! It's people like you that give wrestling a bad name in the first place. People say, "Oh, it's fake", damn straight it is! You don't hear people going around complaining that the latest episode of the X-files wasn't real. it's sports-ENTERTAINMENT, buddy. It's not supposed to be real. I bet you've never even watched it, just flipped through on the remote, huh? Most people who bash it haven't actually sat down and watched it. So, know your damn role, and shut your damn mouth, Jabroni. The defence rests. But i must agree, Ric Flair is an asshole. How did we get on the subject of wrestling anyways? oh, well. Oh, don't bother posting a reply, either. I seldom check back on these things.

  • March 11, 2000, 1:13 p.m. CST

    X-men: translating

    by Umbra_D

    To put it simply, you can't have a good film with out good source material. All movies use story boards. I may be wrong but isn't a storyboard just a simple comic book. Really, it shows/tells the story of the movie pictorially. Why in the heck is it so hard for Hollywood to make the leap from comic to movie. The basic concept of the X-men is universal and unchanging. The heart of the X-men deals with the various ways man is inhumane to man. It's a story of prejudice and fear. It has a solid mythos. You'd think that after 30 plus years of development, some of the movers in tinsel town would realize that you don't have to re-invent the wheel. Costumes don't mater, hair don't mater, Cinamtic enviroment can change from film to film, it still doesn't mater if you destroy the source material. That's why I dread and long to see this movie. I fear the butchering of my favorite characters. I love the prospect of living in their world as only a live action film can deliver. To all you non comic readers, trust me on this. There is no way the x-men would last over 35 years as an industry franchise and standard if it didn't address some real human and UNIVERSAL issues.

  • March 11, 2000, 1:48 p.m. CST

    And another thing

    by Umbra_D

    What is all this crap about making this story sort of the beginging of the X-men just set into todays world. What ever happen to telling stories in flash back. Someone "Please" tell me why it has to be introduced from the begining. Heres a concept "I know it's to late to do it this way now, but nobody ask me my oppinion," Why not make the movie based on one of the graphic novels. Say we choose "God Loves, Man Kills." It evens basically feels like Singers version. But the big thing is that is deals with what make the x-men . . . "X-Men." It deals with the "Mutant Menace." Real and percieved. It stands out to me as a solid piece of story telling. Just tell the story of why the x-men fight. Tell the tale of Xavier Dream. Make it kick ass graphic, deep as a scanned doctorial thesis (you no there more meat in it you just have to go indepth), cool as a Bruce Lee flick. Damn, did I just describe "the Matrix?" Anyway, you could tell the whole x-men history forward and back (yeah they do have history, that involves future events and characters that effect the current timeline. IE. . . Bishop, Cable, the character known as X-man) with out destroying the comic book continuity. And there is still room for cinematic artistry. I think it's time that movies stop spoon feeding the public. Hey "HOLLYWOOD" you might find that you can make money on something that is a bit "CEREBRAL!" Here's to hoping that Halle proves me wrong

  • March 11, 2000, 3:43 p.m. CST


    by Elgyn6655321

    Don`t hold your breath for "Alien 5" anytime soon.

  • March 12, 2000, 3:19 a.m. CST

    Wrasslin' ...

    by floob

    Has been known to be infiltrated by some of the worst Communists, and Ric Flair may be the biggest Red of all.

  • March 12, 2000, 2:56 p.m. CST



    X-MEN is going to be the bomb ass shit. Brendan Fraser is a deuchebag and Rene Zellweger needs to get a rompin from me.

  • March 12, 2000, 7:03 p.m. CST

    X-men FILM not comic book

    by 20th Century Fox

    As one who is looking forward to the X-men movie having just down loaded the trailer. I must say: I CANT WAIT FOE THIS PUPPY. Yeah I hear the complaint from that slacker boy the script has no action but dont belive the hype. I think the movie will be a good FILM. Not a comic book but rather a FILM. Which is what we pay $9.00 to sit in a darkened room for two hours not to raed a comic book but for it to be a good FILM. Film remember that kids...FILM!

  • March 13, 2000, 5:47 a.m. CST

    Alien 5 et al.

    by Cugel

    Re: A5, I ain't holding my breath. Frankly I don't mind waiting another 4-5 years for the sequel (storyline hopefully to follow the Dark Horse novels, something they should have done last decade as the only logical follow-up to Aliens) as long as the scriptwriters and director actually attempt to give the series its props by INCLUDING A PLOT. Something which A3 and Alien: Resurrection sadly failed to incorporate. From this talkback seems like there's a similar desire for X-Men; 'don't hold your breaths' might be an apt statement there too. I personally want X-Men to succeed beyond even the fanboys' insanely high expectations (the "non-trasher" fans, that is), but I somehow don't see that happening. Myself, I'm going to plunk down my $8 in July with no real expectations, and hope to be mildly entertained. Anything else will be icing on the cake.

  • March 13, 2000, 12:29 p.m. CST

    I bet it's just killing all you X-Men naysayers that positive fe

    by superninja

    Gee, not one, but TWO reports from the event saying that the crowd reacted extremely favorably to the footage AND the cast. You still want to say this movie's going to suck? Not that it couldn't, but word is coming in that industry folks are guessing it's going to be a hit. And hot DAMN that Hugh Jackman is sexy!

  • March 13, 2000, 5:31 p.m. CST

    X Men

    by Jedi Tim

    Personally, I can't wait for this movie. One things for sure, Cyclops's sunglasses rock. I wanna know, does anyone know about those sunglasses Cyclops wears in the movie? They look like Oakley's Juliet model, but with much redder lenses. Does anyone know if they are the same and if they are going to be available to buy?

  • March 14, 2000, 1:46 a.m. CST

    To JediTim

    by x_man100

    The glasses were made by Oakley. I read somewhere that a Oakley spokesperson said they were NOT going to make them available for purchase. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Oakley changes their collective mind.

  • March 14, 2000, 3:40 p.m. CST


    by cerebro

    Can't talk long, just a few mussings on the x-stuff. The new trailer sounds bad ass, can't wait to see it for myself. Can't wait for more good movies. Have any fans of the WWF out there noticed that a.) Chris Benoit's tights have stripes on them. b.) The announcers have started calling him a "savage wolverine"? Coincidence, or have they tapped in to the pulse of the x-public and are now trying to manipulate our minds?! Damn you, MacMahon!

  • March 14, 2000, 5:25 p.m. CST

    X-Men - Storm

    by howstone

    Something that it seems like they missed while filming the movie that Fox might want to see about correcting - STORM HAS BLUE EYES!!

  • March 17, 2000, 4:50 p.m. CST

    X-men trailer

    by scudd

    Anyone read that article about the X-men movie in Newsweek? They were allowed on the set, and from that, and from all of the positive feedback on the movie so far, they predict it will be the biggest movie of 2000. Newsweek isnt exactly an underground magazine published in someones garage, either. To the naysayers I say this: IF you have been an avid reader of X-men, go into it with a positive mind and support the movie...this could lead to many more movies like it. If you dont read the X-men comic (the cartoon doesnt count) then you dont know shit and you should just back off. Great actors, great budget, great director. Yeah, formulas like that have failed before, but I am going into this with a positive mindset, and hopefully it will pay off. And seeing as how Spiderman is finally getting off the ground (it has a director, a script, a place on Sony's movie site), this could be the start of something comic book readers have wished for their entire lives.