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Quint chimes in with his thoughts on raunchy teen sex flick PROJECT X!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. I caught a screening of Project X earlier in the week, but you should know that I’m very conflicted right now. I intended to put aside Thursday night to write a nice, thoughtful review of the movie... and then I received my copy of Stephen King’s newest Dark Tower novel, a limited edition of the book that hits mass market in April.

 

 

Being a good AICNer I told myself, “Self, you’re going to write a review of that teen sex found footage romp that you just kind of liked instead of falling back in with your ka-tet.” To paraphrase Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction, I’m tryin’, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to ignore the fact that 10 feet from me sits a new, unread Dark Tower story and instead focus on being a good boy and putting some thoughts down on Project X.

So, if you see a random “Roland” or “Oy” slipped in the below it’s only my subconscious trying to drop subtle hints to my waking brain that it may be time to wrap things up and get me some alone time with that book.

Right up front, Project X isn’t mismarketed. That trailer is the movie, but with less titties. So, nobody gets to claim they were duped into seeing a hard R-rated “let’s get fucked up and then get fucked” raunchy teen comedy.

Found footage is like 3D to me. There’s very few movies from each where the device actually added to my movie-going experience. Inevitably I’ll feel found footage movies I like would have been better as real movies (like the recent Chronicle) or I’ll just be flat out turned off by the gimmick.

It’s a testament to Project X that the found footage aspect doesn’t call attention to itself and for the most part people don’t acknowledge the camera. There are testimonials, a few shots of the creepy Columbine-like AV Club guy documenting this epic party thrown by the school nerd and some cut-aways to cell phone cams from those at the party, but the actual drama of the story isn’t constantly interrupted by fourth wall breaking looks and commentary.

The reason the movie works at all is because of Thomas Mann, who is the completely likeable and believable skinny high school outcast. He’s the kind of kid I probably would have hung out with in high school, so it made it easy to identify with him.

With that smart bit of casting we suddenly have a counterbalance to the dumbass quotient most notably represented by the always horny, always loud Costa (Oliver Cooper). If the movie followed this character I would have fought through William Wallace’s army to get the fuck out of the theater, but Costa never needs to be sympathetic. He’s the bad influence with a tiny sliver of love and loyalty for his friends and as such he makes an interesting force of nature in a group with two likeable losers.

 

 

The other guy is JB (Jonathan Daniel Brown), the chubby one of the group. Usually the fat kid is just there to have a snickers in one hand and a comic book in the other, but they actually use him here a bit more smartly than usual in these kinds of films. He’s the butt of the joke a lot, but he’s also the heart of the group and finds his own way to be cool and even gets a little action.

The only person I felt was horribly miscast was Kirby Bliss Blanton as the just-one-of-the-guys tomboy character. She’s not. Ms. Blanton is too absurdly pretty to be that girl because this is the Duckie role. The archetype means this character has to be the one overlooked for years as the boy focuses his lust at the hot popular girl.

For that to work, you can’t cast someone like Blanton. In any other movie she would have been the hot popular object of lust. They don’t even try to movie-ugly her up with glasses, ponytail and overalls.

She’s a good actress, don’t get me wrong, she’s just too hot for the role.

 

 

The only other complaint I have about the movie falls in the last few minutes of the film. One of the charms of this movie is the sense of escalation. A few people at the party turn into a few thousand people. A single naked chick turns into two dozen naked chicks in a bouncy house. Booze leads to hard drugs. The film is always one-upping itself to the point where the final act is fucking crazy.

That’s what makes the movie work, but when there are pretty much no consequences to the insanity of the last act that takes away from the comedic impact. Comedy-wise it’d be like the Bluesmobile being factory perfect when it stops in front of the tax assessor’s office instead of falling apart into 100 pieces.

It sent me out of the screening a little more sour than I thought for that reason. But working on this review and thinking back on what the film does really well has moved me a little more towards mixed-positive than just mixed, which was the feeling I had upon exiting the theater.

The movie goes all out, I’ll give it that much and with mostly smart casting it doesn’t make you hate the ride. If you see people you like making stupid decisions at least you’re invested. When you see douchebags you hate making stupid decisions you just want them to hurry up and OD and get it over with already. (Roland)

There’s enough natural charm in the movie, thanks greatly to young Mr. Mann, to float us through the insanity that comes in the last act. (Eddie, Susannah, Jake). While there are some large flaws, the movie’s funny enough and crazy enough that you can have fun with it if you’re at all inclined to like raunchy teen sex comedies. (Oy) Also, there’s a little person who punches a dozen crotches, so there you go. Automatic positive review there…

But now it’s time for me to find the clearing at the end of the path and remember the face of my father. For sticking out this review with me, I say thankee-sai. Long days and pleasant nights, fellow travelers! Off to Mid-World I go!

-Eric Vespe
”Quint”
quint@aintitcool.com
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Readers Talkback
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  • March 2, 2012, 12:51 a.m. CST

    Kirby?

    by kabong

    Okay!

  • March 2, 2012, 12:57 a.m. CST

    1%ers having a good time

    by DanielnocharismaCraig

    I'll pass.

  • March 2, 2012, 12:58 a.m. CST

    Ha-haaaaa......

    by whatupsummmmmmbitch

    Little people are funny because they're smaller than normal people...... Ha-haaaa.......... {blank stare}

  • March 2, 2012, 1 a.m. CST

    I think id rather watch Weird Science again

    by LowDevil

  • I've never seen such an obvious sell out from AICN. This film should have been mentioned and reviewed once. Nothing more.

  • March 2, 2012, 1:11 a.m. CST

    I read an interview with the director. Seems like a big tool.

    by happybunni

    He says that he is proud of how accurate a party it is, where he put all elements of parties he's been at in and left nothing out. Then someone asked him about smoking, and he said no one would miss that there wasn't smoking in the movie. If you're trying to create a realistic huge party, there will always be a group of smokers who are usually pretty awesome. You take that out, and you can stop being proud of your non-realistic party.

  • March 2, 2012, 1:36 a.m. CST

    Do you realize it's SNOWING in my ROOM, god dammit?!?

    by daggor

    I dare this film to be that quotable. But, to do so, they would have had to hire Bill Paxton.

  • March 2, 2012, 2 a.m. CST

    Phantomcreeps - Sai definitely *not* only used for women,

    by irishraidersfan

    Thankee Sai.

  • March 2, 2012, 2:49 a.m. CST

    The worst part about a movie like this is...

    by TopHat

    ...all the assholes who try to act like the parties THEY went to in High School were anything like what you see in the movies. Face it, YOUR party was a handful of kids drinking Icehouse beer, not-inhaling cigars/joints, ordering Little Caeser's Pizza w/ Crazy Bread (which was gone by the time you got there), and sipping peach flavored Mad Dog.

  • March 2, 2012, 3:23 a.m. CST

    the way you describe the ending reminds me of observe and report

    by HELLSFOXES

    hate the end of that otherwise really good movie. he should have gone to jail.

  • March 2, 2012, 5:06 a.m. CST

    This movie would be better with a realistic ending...

    by FlandersBum

    ...as the smoke clears, the cops end up finding 12 dead bodies, 4 destroyed houses and 9 months later the world has to support 5 more babies and single teenage mothers. Now THAT would be a movie.

  • March 2, 2012, 5:13 a.m. CST

    THIS is Facebook the movie

    by timpig3k

    That's the only reason this flick exists - it's execs trying to get kids back in theatres by making a movie that looks like a bunch of FB photos. It's the fantasy movie that exits when you patch together tedious MTV videos and posed party FB profile shots. It can go fuck itself.

  • March 2, 2012, 6:02 a.m. CST

    riseofphantomcreeps

    by dancetothebeatofthelivingdead

    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, JUST STOP AT WOLVES OF THE CALLA!!!!!! Seriously, it really goes to shit after that, and the ending is so bad....wel....it's so bad that King apparantly even felt he needed to write another book.

  • March 2, 2012, 6:10 a.m. CST

    One of the only things Tower Heist got right

    by tomdolan04

    Stiller went to jail. End of movie. No cute deal cut for him. I liked that idea. <p> Also - the lack of smoking in movies is pretty absurd. Its almost up there these days with male genitals and monogomous happy marriages in celluloid. Lesbians? Yep. Boobs? Yep. Hyper violence, guns, blood, death? Of course. Lighting up a malboro? JESUS CHRIST THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

  • March 2, 2012, 6:46 a.m. CST

    I should have added spoliers alert about Heist

    by tomdolan04

    My bad. Throw me to the marlboro smoking lesbians its the only way I will learn

  • the future is in their hands meaning there will be no future except for what idiocracy envisioned.

  • March 2, 2012, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Marty......

    by theFUZZ008

    KLEBBA!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • March 2, 2012, 7:46 a.m. CST

    lowdevil and daggor

    by reaper28

    I'm with you guys ... Weird Science has yet to be beaten although I dunno how good the TV show was ... probably shit, they usually are

  • March 2, 2012, 8:19 a.m. CST

    Still have no desire whatsoever

    by Wcwlkr

    It's obvious how's trying to being Hangover for teens. But the Hangover worked to me because it was adults geared towards adults. Yes the Hangover was unbelievable. But at least you can plausibly see adults getting fucked up, and ruffied so that they don't remember. To destroy homes with a flamethrower and the only thing you get is you'll have to pay for that is kind of ridiculous. Even Michael Cera in Youth in Revolt got sent to Juvie.

  • March 2, 2012, 8:52 a.m. CST

    I remember One time..........

    by Gore_monkey

    I was at a party and this girl with a vodka bottle was going around pouring it down peoples throuts and I was one of those people whos throuts got poured with clear russian juice and the only other things I can remember was that I broke something of great significance in the persons house who was hosting the party and a bunch of dudes were going to beat the living crap out of me so my buddies got me the fudge out of there and I remember making out with a girl after she had pucked but I did'nt care cause I was very stupid and horny when I was younger. I don't drink like that any more. Not after the accident that almost sent me to prison. I remember that those parties always had a buttload of Natural lite handy.

  • March 2, 2012, 8:54 a.m. CST

    by mike

    you ^ people are all LAME! go play pinnochle or somethin...lol..cant wait to c this

  • March 2, 2012, 8:57 a.m. CST

    New Project X? Hollywood needs to stop remaking 80's films

    by Jesse Kroh

    Mathew Broderick and Hellen Hunt will be spinning in their graves!

  • March 2, 2012, 8:58 a.m. CST

    This Movie can't touch the awsomeness of weird science

    by Gore_monkey

    The hot chick playing the piano and getting sucked naked up the chimeny and the dudes from the road warrior crashing the party and the valuble life lessons that only John Hughes could impart. No, Wierd science is still on top for me, but I not saying this because Im old. Its just a better made film.

  • March 2, 2012, 8:59 a.m. CST

    This movie smells like bologne and I wont stand for bologne.

    by Gore_monkey

  • I understand the tendency, once you've entered the sad confines of adulthood, to be somewhat appalled at what is apparently depicted in this film, but it's a fantasy fulfillment flick, no? I, for one, would feel no more satisfied if Pooh, after floating away on a balloon, got the comeuppance his irresponsible foolishness deserved and plummeted to the earth to be impaled, untimely, on Kanga's picket fence--Roo watching on in horror, but learning a valuable lesson.

  • March 2, 2012, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Tophat

    by Adam13

    You're probably right about the majority of party braggarts, but when I was in high school, there was such a party in my town. I was not there, so I can't brag about it, but it did happen. I played ball with guy whose house got demolished. It was just like you see in the movies. Parents out of town, so he thought he'd be cool and throw a bash. word got out, over 100 people showed up, mostly the kind you'd never invite. Wallboard smashed through with broom handles, urine on carpets, dishes and glasses destroyed. Many thousands of dollars in damages. It was a huge story. I guess the big difference would be that instead of becoming a legend, he became known as the imbecile who got his parents house wrecked.

  • March 2, 2012, 10:43 a.m. CST

    God, how bitter you geeks are.

    by TheNotoriousDRB

    I've seen this sort of party. I've BEEN to this sort of party...and it was always awesome. Why? 1) I never put it on. Which means I didn't have to stick around for the clean-up or the morning-after questions 2) Yes, these parties were always put on by rich kids. Well no fucking shit. Who else would be able to afford to buy everyone so much liquor? Rich kids buy friends, and when they do it right...it is pretty fucking effective. Of course you can sit with your outcast friends at an IHOP at 3 in the morning lamenting such things while the people you hate are having a really good time doing thing you wish you could naturally be a part of, but alas...irony reigns. 3) Women, especially at a young age, are stupid and easily led by flash and glitz. So...if you want them to flop their tits out at you at the end of the night...YOU GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT. Chicks LOVE parties like this, and they like to be treated better than they are actually worth, so, this is how you do it. God, no wonder why many (not all) of you fuckers beat off with only your tears as lube.

  • March 2, 2012, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Re:THIS is Facebook the movie

    by Garett

    No. Its Porkys its Superbad Its its its its this current generations teen sex film. Legalized pedophilia...cause most the "kids" are 18 or older.. Seriously if your less then 20 dont bother witha response you know nothing about these kinds of movies and were probly sucking your thumb during the original american pie.... These films come out every 3-5 yrs one for each generation.. Seriously think about it Meatballs was the exact same thing only No school or house part. why? Because in the early 80s parents had the right to beat the shit out of you for ruining their homes.. in the 90s it was awww shucks just boys being boys.. 2000s laws against spanking punishing your kid. My kid trashed my house he better have a back up plan cause his ass would be on the end of my boot into his new life out of my home!

  • March 2, 2012, 11 a.m. CST

    RE:God, how bitter you geeks are.

    by Garett

    Your an idiot.. Heres why.. Herp lets go over to Harry KNowles web page The Biggest Geek on the nets web page and start trashing people as geeks. Second Ive thrown these parties rich has nothing to do with it, desperation to buy people friends is a very clear path with is transparent as hell no one wants to hang out with you when the booze or freebies arent flowing, in the end you have no friends. As you stated you used to go to these but never hosted. Ya cause a poor ass loser such as your self couldnt afford to buy his own bottle. I always brought my own bottle n chronic to any party i attend i count on me to get me through the night, i dont leech on someone else. Your the typical wannabe meat head your stories so full of holes its not funny. You sit jerking off to granny porn using tears as lube, you aint seen pussy outside the internet or dumpster mags n videos. No one wants to be your friend they would pay to keep your sorry fat pimple faced ass away from these typs of parties.. I may be a star wars geek, however i am also an athlete can sing and play instruments as well as i have a great vocab and a 3.7gpa ps i was banging chicks in grade 5 lol so FA-Q!

  • March 2, 2012, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Women...are stupid

    by tomdolan04

    Notorious - please tell us more wisdom from your well balanced world view

  • March 2, 2012, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Hey darthhalen

    by TheNotoriousDRB

    i have a great vocab and a 3.7gpa ps i was banging chicks in grade 5 lol so FA-Q!

  • March 2, 2012, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Once again, the tits and the drugs aren't the issue.

    by FluffyUnbound

    I would have had a problem with holding a riot and an arson-fest and calling it a party WHEN I WAS EIGHTEEN. So I don't think these kids are assholes 'because I'm too old'. If your idea of fun is destroying other people's stuff, I would have wanted to cave your head in with a tire iron whether it's 2012 or 1990. Doesn't really matter. And before you ask, 'Fluffy, you have a problem with property destruction, but not violence against people?!?!?!' just let me say: Yup. If the people we're talking about are acting out JACKASS in my neighborhood with my stuff, yeah I have no problem responding to that with violence. I'll go see this movie if somebody can promise me that the cops wade into these assholes with rubber bullets and fire hoses.

  • March 2, 2012, 11:32 a.m. CST

    I'd be in...

    by Andrew Coleman

    If the movie changed gears in the third act and someone dies... So they have to find a way not to go to jail. Otherwise though this movie looks like complete garbage. Fun thing will be is during this movie which should just be called "It's like Facebook" that everyone in the theater will be checking facebook on their phone the entire time. The theaters should be destroyed that are showing this "film".

  • March 2, 2012, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Happy Fudgepack Friday!

    by Robert Evans

    Today's subjects are: MARY-KATE and ASHLEY OLSEN! Do they let anyone in their skinny mocha holes? And are they a package deal? Let it rip!

  • March 2, 2012, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Choppah, you'd have to ask Bob Saget that one.

    by Tikidonkeypunch

    I say Mary Kate takes it up the ass then Ashley puts it in her mouth afterwards.

  • March 2, 2012, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Mary Kate says 'How rude!'

    by frank

    Ashley says, ‘You got it, dude!'

  • March 2, 2012, 12:20 p.m. CST

    apologies.

    by frank

  • March 2, 2012, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Anyone who watches this movie...

    by The Goat

    deserves to get full-blown AIDS.

  • That's a shocker. The trailer makes it look like a forgettable HBO-after-midnight thing you might catch if you can't sleep. The Times write-up said that it had a funny script, a smart directing job and contained a potentially breakout actor in the kid who plays somebody named 'Costa'.

  • March 2, 2012, 6:25 p.m. CST

    Still won't be seeing it though....

    by Orbots Commander

    ...as I'd be out of place sitting in audience composed of high school kids. But the reviews at least earns it a rental when it hits Redbox or Netflix.

  • March 2, 2012, 6:46 p.m. CST

    This is all Cloverfields

    by Yelsaeb

  • March 2, 2012, 6:51 p.m. CST

    This is all Clovefield's fault.

    by Yelsaeb

    I thought Cloverfield was great, but it if hadn't have been made, we wouldn't be getting all these crappy found footage movies. Cloverfield reinvigorated the found footage genre, which is a genre that is incredibly hard to do right.

  • if we had gotten to see those guys party instead of seeing them the next morning it was fun. nothing special. just a good time.

  • March 2, 2012, 10:35 p.m. CST

    Haha best comment on here...

    by Andrew Coleman

    All over LA there are shitty ads for this "film" where it shows fake Tweets like "This movie is what would happen if Superbad had sex with the Hangover"... Would love to change it to "Who ever sees this film deserves to get full blown AIDS" Sorry antonphd

  • March 2, 2012, 11:13 p.m. CST

    You read Stephen King?

    by jim_jim

    You= reading Stephen King? You= retard Come on. You might as well be reading Hop on Pop.

  • March 2, 2012, 11:47 p.m. CST

    I agree with someone above. These fuckers should have been executed at the end

    by Chuck_Chuckwalla

    Damn my wife for taking me to see that piece of shit.

  • March 3, 2012, 4:59 p.m. CST

    CAN YOU PLEASE CHANGE THIS MOVIE BACK TO NORMAL?

    by Arcadian Del Sol

    ITS GONNA RUIN CHRISTMAS

  • March 3, 2012, 6:22 p.m. CST

    So there aren't any aliens or dinosaurs or witches?

    by Mugato5150

    Then why is it a found footage movie? I really wish these things would go away. I know they're cheap to make and all but still.