Johnny DryWall filed two reviews with Father Geek today...

I caught a screening of Philip Kaufman's new picture "Quills" last night. In "Quills" Kaufman tries to impart the story of the Marquee de Sade and the asylum in which he was interred.

The Marquis de Sade is most renowned for writing tales of erotic violence that stirred the already turbulent, post-revolution French public into an even more hedonistic celebration of their new-found freedoms. In an attempt to relegate the Marquis to obscurity instead of raising him to martyrdom, Napolean has the Marquis commited to an insane asylum instead of having him executed.

Joaquin Phoenix plays the Abbe de Coulmier, a peacful priest that runs the asylum with a gentle and nurturing hand who befriends the Marquis (Geoffrey Rush). Madeleine Le Clerc, Kate Winslett's robust and lusty chamber maid complete's the love/lust triangle. Madeleine is helping the Marquis to smuggle his writing to his publisher while the Abbe is trying to get the Marquis to stop publishing his writing (as Napolean will shut down the asylum if the Marquis cannot be controlled). The Abbe is having no luck silencing the Marquis so Dr. Royer-Collard (Michael Caine) famous for getting results via severe treatments, is sent in to "assist" the Abbe.

Philip Kaufman likes to make long movies (Henry & June, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, The Right Stuff) and "Quills" is no exception, clocking in at just over two hours without any titles or credits. "Quills" is a very ambitious offering and I think that's the problem. With such a concentrated and complex subject the director must have felt an obligation to cover it all for fear of losing the story's relevance or impact. Consequently, we are treated to a series of short, dramatically explosive conflicts between characters whose development mostly comes from similar, prior conflicts. These outbursts are separated by long periods of padding in which the otherwise ruthless and ambitious Dr. Royer-Collard gives the Abbe chance after chance to quiet the Marquis before stepping in and taking over.

I don't understand why Joaquin Phoenix was allowed to mangle a British accent through the whole movie, even Costner had the good sense not to open himself up to that ridicule. For that matter, why did ALL of the characters have British accents? Isn't this a French story about French men and women in France?! (by the way...Yes, it is...) The acting is disappointing and the direction is inconsistant. We are never really given any reason to care about the characters and so we never really have any interest in what happens to them. There are times when I could almost hear the crew and the extras applauding Geoffrey Rush's "acting" at the end of a few scenes.

On the upside though, Michael Caine is phoenominal! Dr. Royer-Collard is cold hearted, conniving and patient. An absolutely ruthless adversary that does what is nessecary to get what he wants or to exact retribution from any who stood in his way all the while keeping his cool. Pauline McLynn who plays Dr. Royer-Collard's wife, Pauline (I think) is also very good and her character may be the most compelling of all.

There are a few high points, though. The scene in which the Marquis produces a play that the lunatics perform is very funny and another scene were Madeleine trades kisses with the Marquis for pages to his new manuscript gets raunchier and raunchier. We also get to see an entire scene with a very topless Kate Winslett (which may be worth the price of admission) as well as Geoffrey Rush run around through several scenes completely nude.

Hopefully the powers that be will recognize that by re-cutting "Quills" down to only two or three story lines and looping Joaquin's regular voice back into the dialogue this could be a cool, dark and sexy tragedy. But they probably won't and we will simply be subjected to a shorter version of the mess it is now.

Father Geek here again... Here's Johnny's view of THE SKULLS...

I saw "The Skulls" last Tuesday night and it really wasn't too bad...though it certainly wasn't good. Review with no spoilers follows...

"The Skulls" is a movie about, Luke (Lucas) McNamara (Joshua Jackson), a poor kid with a slightly shady background that is also somewhat of a wunderkind. He's the captain of the champion crew team, an academic leader, scholarship winner, target of others admiration and affection all the while maintaining an "aw shucks" demeanor. In "The Skulls" there exist several secret society organizations, all but the Skulls have approached Lucas to join them but he has turned them all down as he hopes to be recruited by the Skulls. The Skulls are the most secret and powerful of all the secret societies. Lucas has heard that the Skulls pays for members to go to graduate school. Since Lucas needs tuition money for law school, joining the Skulls seems like an ideal solution to Lucas's dilemma and Lucas seems like an ideal candidate for the Skulls.

To no one's surprise Lucas becomes a Skull but conflicts immediately arise. Lucas's best friend Will Beckford (Hill Harper) feels alienated and left out. And as things appear to get better for Lucas so do things get worse for Will.

The conflicts become larger and the consequences escalate. Lucas is forced to choose between loyalties and risks losing everything.

This is the same old good hearted poor boy must fight against bad rich people using his ragamuffin/thieving friends from his old neighborhood story. The plot had holes I could drive "The Thomas Crown Affair" through and the dialogue has all the insight of a depressed 12 year old suburban poet ("If it's elite and secret then it must be bad").

Even though the Skulls are super secret and no one is supposed to know who they are, all of the members have enormous keys on neck chains that open the FRONT DOOR of their secret hangout (A giant brick castle in the middle of campus with a 6 foot metal skull sign on the top). All members are branded with the Skulls insignia on their wrist and are given a rule book (#12 Last one in the clubhouse has to go back and ask mom to bring the cookies out, #7b NO GIRLS!!) with the Skulls insignia and the members name embossed on the front. Good thing Caleb Mandrake (Paul Walker) carefully hides his on the front seat of the brand new Boxter he got from the Skulls when he was accepted, other wise someone might find out.

One thing I always wonder about when I see movies like this where there is a secret evil empire that dines on aged venison and smokes expensive cigars...who clears the table? Are the servants in the society too? Does the busboy get a new sports car? Does the plumber have to abide by the rules?

The movie starts out with a cool premise, no matter how you slice secret societies they come up cool. And to populate the real world with a couple of them is even more fun and surreal. The direction of Rob Cohen and the performances of Joshua Jackson and Paul Walker are first rate. There are some truly exciting scenes, the opening shell race is exhilarating.

Somewhere, though, the plot just falls apart and the idea gets lost and we get herded onto the plains of predictability to graze on formulaic scrub. And we wind up not caring one way or the other what happens to anyone. Dawson's Creek fans will give this movie more legs then it deserves, but hey, at least it ain't "The Astronaut's Wife".

Be Vigilant,

Johnny Drywall