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SHOWEST - Moriarty on the mescaline free half of the first day!

Hey kemosabe and ranger bills, Harry here with Moriarty's first half of the day. We came back to the laughing clown to start our 'trip' before the indies kick in this evening. Hehehehe... fun....

Hey, everyone...

"Moriarty" here.

It's just after noon on Monday, and Harry and I are officially checked in to ShoWest 2000. Since our first scheduled events aren't until tonight, I thought we could take this time to walk you through what it's like to get set up for an event like this. We've also got some great new images from various showcased films like THE PATRIOT, SHAFT, ME MYSELF AND IRENE and CHICKEN RUN to share.

When the alarm went off at 7:45 this morning, my first inclination was to throw the damn thing out the window. I do most of my work late at night, between midnight and sunrise, and I leave it to the henchmen to handle business during daylight hours. Not here, though. Not this week. Somehow, Knowles was already up. He said he'd watched the sun rise over the mountains and the pyramids and the rollercoasters. I must admit, the sight from our hotel room window is extremely surreal.

After I cleaned up and affixed my Amiable Reporter Guy Disguise (patent pending), we headed downstairs. As we walked through the casino area of our hotel, we passed a row of slot machines that had been sealed off with yellow police tape. Behind it, police photographers were busy snapping shots of everything while other cops were dusting for prints. Ahhh... Vegas.

A quick hop, skip, and jump -- and trust me, folks, you haven't lived till you've seen Harry do all three -- and we found ourselves at the new Bally's Paris. I don't know what experience you guys have with Vegas, but it seems like every year they raise the bar for just how extravagant and insane these hotels can be. The Paris is beautiful, like an EPCOT exhibit on steroids. We wandered around for a while soaking it all in before finding the convention area. Once we got there, we went to the Press Room to check in.

Let me take this quiet moment to thank all the great people on staff at NATO. This sort of giant event has every opportunity to become an unmitigated clusterfuck. Instead, all we see is grace and clockwork and smiles. Jim Kozak, press director for the organization, already looks asleep on his feet, but he keeps finding that extra reserve of energy and exceeding any expectations we could have of him. They gave us our press packages, thick folders holding tickets to the various luncheons and dinners throughout the week, then told us where to take our coupons to pick up our first swag bag of the week.

Yes, it's true. The studios and the candy companies and the various exhibitors are all merciless about the swag they foist on you at this show. I've already added the groovy DINOSAUR/GONE IN 60 SECONDS and the Paramount logo keychains to my keys. I dig the U-571 shirt they gave us. The NURSE BETTY hypodermic needle pen is good for giggles. And what does all this do to my opinion of these movies?

Well... nothing, actually. Swag is fun, but it's ultimately meaningless. It's just fun stuff to remind you a film is coming. In the end, the movies have to live or die based on the experience I have when I'm sitting in that dark room, hoping and praying each time for something special. I know I have hopes for all three movies I'm seeing this week. Harry and I took our swag bags to the row of ETM machines that were set up, where we each had to swipe our press badges to pick up our tickets for the Miramax product reel presentation, Fox's screening of WHERE THE HEART IS, the Texas Instruments Digital Cinema demonstration, and two indie films each at tonight's showcase. We're both seeing GOAT ON FIRE & SMILING FISH, and then he's seeing Penelope Cruz in WOMAN ON TOP while I check out Paul Newman and Linda Fiorentino in WHERE THE MONEY IS.

We dragged the crazy-heavy shoulder bags over to the Paris' buffet, where we carbo-loaded for the day as we sorted through things. That's when we found the images you'll see below, and that's also when we learned for sure that New Line is showing LORD OF THE RINGS footage tomorrow. Once Harry convinced me to stop running laps around the restaurant screaming "FUCK YEAH!!!" at the top of my lungs, we made our way back here, narrowly avoiding arrest, I suspect. So I scared the tourists. Sue me. We'll spend the afternoon reading and being low-key so that we'll be ready to bring you more news later tonight. Until then...

"Moriarty" out.

Readers Talkback
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  • March 6, 2000, 6:35 p.m. CST

    <The following contains wishful thinking...>

    by Saulot

    Harry, how do you and the AICN crew keep coming up with all these trips? Don't you people have real jobs? I wish I could talk about movies all day and get paid for it.--Saulot--

  • March 6, 2000, 7:26 p.m. CST

    Well, gee guys, I thought you were spies, not... press people

    by Cassius the Evil

    It's a sad, sad day when Harry and Moriarty abandon their cool Ghost in the Shell cloaking outfits and Batman grappling hook guns for... gasp... press badges. Tsk, tsk.

  • March 6, 2000, 7:37 p.m. CST

    You Old Bastard

    by The Kid

    Can I have a hearty "Fuck Thou O' You Lucky Cunt"? LOTR footage, eh. Guess I should get through The Two Towers at some point (the further travails of two midgets, yippe-cae-yay motherfucker or however it's spelled). AND NO, THAT'S NOT AN INSULT TO THE BOOKS.

  • March 6, 2000, 7:41 p.m. CST

    F**K YEAH

    by All Thumbs

    When you guys deliver, you sure do deliver. Excuse the crude headline, but all these movies are making me excited!!

  • March 6, 2000, 7:52 p.m. CST

    I want a U-571 T-shirt.

    by LSHB

    So... jealous... Can I win one if I guess which mystery dude in the photo is Moriarty? It all depends on whether or not he'd depict himself with a green line shooting out of his ass.

  • March 6, 2000, 8:36 p.m. CST

    Hey, Moriarty!

    by mrbeaks

    I'll bankroll any script you want to produce if you depants Michael DeLuca at the LOTR screening. Photographic evidence required. Void if script is penned by Akiva Goldsman, Jonathan Hensleigh, or Andrew Marlowe.

  • March 6, 2000, 8:54 p.m. CST

    HARRY AND MORIARTY: You boys better get LAID in Vegas!

    by Tall_Boy

    Either get it legally or pick up some nice cheap hookers, I don't care, it wouldn't be a great trip unless both of you get severly fucked (in either alcohol, PCPS, or in the litteral sense)I mean, how can you not, its Vegas, baby, Vegas!!! And you better share the details online so all of us geeks can live vicariously through the details. Oh yeah, and my bet for Moriarty is the dude with the camera. . .

  • March 6, 2000, 8:56 p.m. CST


    by MAlkovich

    AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH just stop say something or dont but dont under any circumtances say im first because that means shit. HARRY, Fathergeek please erase from now on any message entitled im first or first or any shit it is such a waste of bianary.

  • March 6, 2000, 8:57 p.m. CST

    sorry i meant STOP on Syop

    by MAlkovich

  • March 6, 2000, 9:12 p.m. CST

    Hey,kids-it's Mescaline Free!

    by user id indeed!

    Yes,children,it's the first half of Showest!!!Rough screenings of blockbusters,and pony rides for grandma!!!!Buy it today!!!!!!This has been a Very Pointless Moment with User ID Indeed!,and yes,I'm mescaline free too.For now.

  • March 6, 2000, 9:17 p.m. CST

    WATCH IT!!!

    by Brundledan

    I have this horrible feeling that this whole thing is going to turn out like that "Simpsons" episode, and Harry and Moriarty are gonna come staggering back to Austin having accidentally married a couple of Vegas showgirls. Watch your asses, guys; I'd lay off the mescal for the duration of this trip. As well as whatever else you might have with you. Remember: Keed spills.

  • March 6, 2000, 9:47 p.m. CST

    It's Lundi Gras here in New Orleans...

    by Khun Dave

    my stomach and head hurts from my all nighter in the French Quarter, and I am watching Harry lick his snot with his tongue. Instead of mescaline, I recommend you take pseudophedrine. My stomach can live without the tongue action. Oh, and have fun in Vegas.

  • March 6, 2000, 10:05 p.m. CST

    SWAG !!!

    by Syd Mead

    Candy swag is good but green swag is better and PINK SWAG IS THE BEST ! But it's all ! Now is Moriarty EVER going to finish his report on the best films of the 90's... when Vegas freezes over. --Syd

  • March 6, 2000, 11:24 p.m. CST

    Goat On Fire?!?!?!?!

    by 88

    Being from the land of Oz, I usually hear about the films dribbled over on this site about 2-6 months later, so more info on this please (and Where The Money Is as well).

  • March 6, 2000, 11:42 p.m. CST

    Very Small Pebbles

    by Astro Pud

    Bravely bold Sir Harry, brough forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Harry. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Harry. He was not in the least bit scared to being mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes carved out, and his elbows broken. To have his knee cut split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Harry. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off and his penis...

  • March 6, 2000, 11:42 p.m. CST

    That guy's not the real Warrior.

    by Ric Flair

    The real Warrior is funny as, well, Hell. This guy's just mad as hell. Wooooo!

  • March 7, 2000, 12:42 a.m. CST


    by crash_davis

    Does it strike anyone as odd that two movies with exactly the same title are being shown? Where the Heart is, and Where the Money is. Hell, they should just condense it into one movie called The Money is Where the Heart is. Peace.

  • March 7, 2000, 12:50 a.m. CST

    "Tell me about the fucking golf shoes!"

    by METHOS

    Harry is DR. GONZO! And Moriarty is RAOUL DUKE! I hope Moriarty enjoys his time in the desert with a deranged Gary Busey while Harry enjoys Christina Ricci in the comfort of his hotel suite. Just remember that Joe Pesci has a lot of holes out in the desert; so be careful!

  • March 7, 2000, 1:18 a.m. CST

    Harry, maybe you can finally lose your virginity.

    by Cereal Killer

    They have those legal brothels in Nevada. You guys should definately go. Every man should visit a whorehouse at least once in his life. But seriously, I hope your gonna post a review of "Where the Heart Is." This is one of my most anticipated films of the year. Post a review of "Where the Money Is" too. I saw a trailer for it over the weekend and it looks cool. It looks like what I thought "Diamonds" was gonna be but wasn't. I hope you guys are just kidding when you talk about drugs and alcohol cause a guy Harry's size should be careful about stuff like that. We want you around for a lot of years. No point in ending up drowning in your own vomit.

  • March 7, 2000, 2:30 a.m. CST

    Goat on Fire and Smiling Fish

    by LaughingBuddha

    This is an independant film, made for very little cash that took first place (i think) at the last Toronto Film Festival. The real dirt here is that it is reportedly a GREAT FILM! How ever after doing so well in Toronto, the film makers could not find a distributor. Supposedly, all the hollywood types LOVED IT, but have no idea how to market it. So at the moment, it is sitting on a shelf. If it is playing at show west, then someone probably picked it up, and are screening it for all the buyers. Harry please fill in the blanks. . .