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Review

Harry says GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE is B-Marvel-Movie Mayhem

I saw MARVEL KNIGHT's GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE about 2 weeks prior to BNAT13WOLF and had an absolute blast with it.   That, coming off of hating the first GHOST RIDER with Nick Cage.  Now - you have to understand something about me, GHOST RIDER came about as I was first becoming aware of comics.   At the time, EVIL KNIEVAL was all over the place and we all had toys of EVIL.   At the same time there was a horror explosion occurring at Marvel, where they began developing Werewolf and Dracula characters..  but of all of those, GHOST RIDER was the visual icon...   As Peter Fonda taught audiences to RACE WITH THE DEVIL and the Drive-In screens were populated with fare like THE LOSERS...  I was seeing that stuff and reading GHOST RIDER.   

Now that being said, I never was particularly captivated with the characters in the comic, but the imagery seared to my brain.   I find the entire premise seriously ridiculous.   I mean, satan makes a stuntman ride the earth eternally as the spirit of vengeance?   That said, I've always believed that the right team could elevate GHOST RIDER into being Lon Chaney Jr quality tortured soul that's demonic soul would strike out and destroy those what had it coming.

This still isn't GREAT, but it is a great deal of fun.   Especially when they allow Cage to dial up the insanity. At every level it is superior to the first version.   The look of the GHOST RIDER is fantastic to my eyes...  of love the billowing black smoke that is there in addition to the fire.   I love the charred skull - and his chains and vehicles are vastly cooler here.   I also prefer Ciaran Hinds's ROARKE to Peter Fonda's big baddie.   Idris Elba is impossible for me not to like, his Moreau makes nearly zero sense.   Never really clear about his character once in the movie, but whatever his purpose in this universe, he certainly is fun on screen.   Now Violante Placido isn't going to set the world ablaze, but she doesn't douse the film with flame retardant the way Eva Mendes did in the original.   The film is essentially a version of T2, and yeah it is all about the boy, but he isn't the savior of mankind, but one of the possible downfalls of humanity.   

I suppose there's something Pavlovian to watching GHOST RIDER come to life onscreen with the fury and the 3D craziness that the team of Neveldine & Taylor give it.   We know them from the CRANK films - and they bring some of that insanity to GHOST RIDER, but they're also asked to reign it in.   An R-rated Neveldine and Taylor GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE is where the B-movie glory truly resides, but MARVEL hasn't really crossed that line yet.  Well unless you count the pussy-licking awesome of BLADE 2.   

GHOST RIDER in it's flame-enriched soul is an R-rated property.   Much like THE PUNISHER and if we're all honest, WOLVERINE is.    

That said, this flirts with R, and honestly any Blu-ray that shows how Neveldine and Taylor shot this batnuts insane flick, those special features should be R-rated and still...  people will die trying to do this insanity.    The free rollerskating at vehicular high speeds while shooting handheld...   limited safety - pure insanity.

But when you see the images that they've captured and the attitude those images carry, I thrived on it.   After the screening at BNAT - I found the audience being fairly split on the film.   Most of my "Comic Book Freaky friends" - like the guys that used to work in comic shops, continue to work in comic shops or that draw comics (not for MARVEL btw) - we all dug the hell out of it.

You see, Cage's character is a slightly gelded version of his character from BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL - NEW ORLEANS....he's never as down right fucked up as that, but he flirts with the bursts of pure manic insanity...   and there's a shot of him on a motorcycle popping back and forth between Johnny Blaze and the Ghost Rider - and it's killer.

The thing that'll drive most critics crazy - and this is being 100% honest with ya - it is the convenient logic issues.   You see, they spend time on dialogue explaining to us that Johnny Blaze can't control the Rider...   the Rider will torch you for Jay-Walking as well as for watching TEEN WOLF - and then you never get a pay off of the Rider wasting someone he shouldn't have - and Blaze remembering it.   That's a key thing to the tortured soul - don't forget to torture him.    Then there's the BLACKOUT character - whose power also seems to be incredibly arbitrary.   I mean, it desicates everything, except for the major characters - for which there are zero expectations, but keeps the story moving I suppose.

Why doesn't it drive me insane?

Why does the main character become a nuclear flame skull-headed rider with no eyes - upon a vehicle with flames for tires (wonder how that works for shock absorbtion)?   I know there's a curse...  but look at your main character.   Visually, take it apart and it doesn't make much sense.   Why do his clothes return to normal?   And the hair comes back to the same style.   So nice.   

BUT ya know - almost every problem this movie has is inherrent to the character as written and drawn in the comics.   And I enjoy the hell out it.   That this movie is light years better than the original was reason to celebrate to a degree.   However, the way to win most over - is to go Hard R, get better writers and make the film hurt some.   Here, it feels a bit Scooby Doo in places, but again - that's Marvel feeling a need to involve a kid in the center of a story that is about a man that has lost his soul and is cursed upon the Earth to reap the souls of the damned - and you never really get to see that.   You never see the pure regret that drives that insanity that Cage embues the character with.   But you see that Cage is playing it.

Ultimately, the film is nuts in the way I kind of wanted it to go.  But do realize this isn't a film that everyone is going to agree on.   At $75 million, most would expect something less rough around the edges, but Neveldine & Taylor made something that doesn't look like some cookie cutter safe flick.   There's some crazy shit that goes down in this movie that I just loved - and if you're someone that doesn't think GHOST RIDER is automatically stupid...  give it a shot.   It is far better than the last film would lead you to believe.

Perhaps 3rd time will be the charm!  Werner Herzog directs Nicolas Cage in the R-rated 150 million dollar GHOST RIDER.   

Til then, this is the best GHOST RIDER we've got, but I'm definitely planning on seeing it for a third time.

Readers Talkback
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  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:25 a.m. CST

    I'm SOOO there

    by 3D-Man

    This weekend for sure

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:43 a.m. CST

    Why is Harry blaming Marvel for some of the creative decisions?

    by Nerd Rage

    Didn't Sony produce this? What was Marvel's involvement?

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:46 a.m. CST

    *pussy-licking awesome*

    by justmyluck

    There's a new quotation for FILM THEORY 101.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:47 a.m. CST

    Just as long as Cage...

    by Master Bruce

    doesn't "drink" effen Skittles from a glass this time! As an old-school Ghost Rider fan, mere words cannot express my contempt for the 1st film! Still, this one does look light years beyond the original...might have to check it out.

  • Throw Blade in there too.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:55 a.m. CST

    Rise of Cobra is wonderful?

    by Nerd Rage

    If you have shit standards for a GI Joe movie, then maybe.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:56 a.m. CST

    Thanks for the review Harry!

    by cheekerpot

    Was waiting for it! I remember the first GR particularly well because I saw it in Seattle with friends during a holiday (I'm not from the US) While I was a bit dissappointed with the first one, there were still parts that had me very excitedsimply because the character of the Rider is so all out badass! I think if anyone can do this character crazy justice is Cage so I'm happy he's back! I thought Black Heart was horribly butchered in the first film bot in terms of character and mostly his look but I'm hoping Black Out to make for a better (worse) baddy :)

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:57 a.m. CST

    Just My Luck......

    by Righteous Brother

    Not sure if you ever read Harry's infamous, Blade 2 review? In case you haven't, check it out, its on here somewhere, you'll either be appalled or amused!

  • But they should've got someone else instead of Nic Cage. He'll never be Johnny Blaze to me. He did make a good Big Daddy though thanks to a flawless Adam West impression.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 4:10 a.m. CST

    A Mad Hatter with a lazy southern drawl

    by Nerd Rage

    Sorry but no.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 4:14 a.m. CST

    @righteousbrother: Thanks for the refresher.

    by justmyluck

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 4:23 a.m. CST

    Saw it Last night in Dallas

    by DaKnifeOrDaGun

    Harry's review is pretty much on point.

  • ....Don't believe me? go see it, but don't complain you wasted your money, or go check out some other reviews, the more 'sane' reviews that say it's actually WORSE than the first movie. I saw it and it's an absolute mess of a movie.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 4:41 a.m. CST

    A flaming turd would be better than the first movie

    by melonman

    I have a feeling this'll be fun, but one of those you have to be in the right mood for. Like the fact it sounds a bit rough and ready. And it can't be as bad as GREEN HORNET, GREEN LANTERN, DAREDEVIL or GHOST RIDER. Can it?

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 4:53 a.m. CST

    Saw it last night with my wife

    by Zappatude

    We were given free screener passes, otherwise, based on the first movie, we never would have gone. It was entertaining....The film-makers didn't take themselves too seriously, which would be ridiculous given the character. In fact, that's where the first movie went so horribly wrong. The intro/voice overs were pretty funny. When they let Cage go over the top, it was great. They should have featured a bit more of that. Nice and creepy Christopher Lambert sighting.

  • Hey, I wanna see Kirk and Shinzon face off against each other, sue me.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 5:28 a.m. CST

    Oh and Harry.......its not 'Evil'....

    by Righteous Brother

    It's 'Evel'...........'Evil' Knieval was his bad twin brother, don't get them confused.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 5:29 a.m. CST

    Maybe not all of Marvel's characters should be put on film...

    by Tristan

    This film has a 10% rating on Rotten. Another review I read, said the "Crank" style does not fit at all, mainly, do to poor framing and shakyness of the camera. Visually, the Ghost Rider and some of the action scenes look cool, but the story and dialogue is supposedly, terrible. I think the "Crank" films are a lot of fun, but I sure as hell can't see that style of filmmaking, working with a character, like Ghost Rider. The Ghost Rider probably, shouldve been one of the comic characters to stay in the comics. BTW, are there no spikes on his leather jacket, at all, in the film?

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 5:43 a.m. CST

    Aftermath -

    by barnaby jones

    Don't take Empire reviews as gospel. This film just wasn't hyped enough for them.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 5:51 a.m. CST

    It's not that it's impossible to make a great Ghost Rider movie

    by Nerd Rage

    It's just that the people involved don't care or lack the talent to do so.

  • Not just telling him to stop drawing Ghost Rider for pocket change at conventions, but suing him for $17,000 in damages. Really? Really, Marvel? You need that $17,000 that much? FUCK MARVEL and FUCK THIS MOVIE.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 6:10 a.m. CST

    Empire said it's like getting a tattoo for 90 minutes

    by steve

    Sorry Harry, I listen to them now

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Harry likes awful movies, what do you expect?

    by sunwukong86

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 6:27 a.m. CST

    I read every Harry review listening to Sympathy For The Devil

    by RedLeaderStandingBy

    Just as every cop is a criminal. And all the sinners, saints. Just call me Harry Knowles. An don't believe what I say.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 6:33 a.m. CST

    6% on RT

    by Logan_1973

    And its spelled KNIEVEL.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 6:59 a.m. CST

    I've seen this film twice already, annnnd

    by fathergeek

    I'm going to experience it a third time for sure... Doesn't make alot of sense, buuut the stunts are phantastic, and I had fun, Fun, FUN !

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 7:05 a.m. CST

    it's Evel Knievel ...not kneival. Just for the record.

    by smylexx

    so there.

  • ...It's EVEL. Geez Harry, have a cup of coffee before you write this crap.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 7:45 a.m. CST

    It was a cheesy, stupid, but fun crap comic...

    by mdk

    ...So a chessy, stupid, but fun crap movie makes for a perfect adaptation. I'll have to see it & see if they nailed it this time.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 7:54 a.m. CST

    Fathergeek

    by John Baker

    While you're on here we'd like to ask you a question about yourself, Harry, and Brian Cox...

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:08 a.m. CST

    ME WANT PWESENTS!

    by the new transported man

    that is all

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Fuck Marvel (and Fuck Disney!!)

    by Jake Pantlin

    Gary Friedrich, co-creator of the Marvel Comics character Ghost Rider, is being sued for $17,000! That is bullshit. They should drop the lawsuit if they have any common sense. The man is old now and his health is fading. there is a website set up for people wanting to help him pay this dreadful legal bill. http://www.steveniles.com/gary.html

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:15 a.m. CST

    Two sides to every story

    by Blanket-Man

    As a work-for-hire writer myself, I recognize that once a company pays me for my work, IT BELONGS TO THEM. Would it suck if something I wrote went on to earn my (former) employers millions, while I got jack+squat? Yeah, I guess, but I'd find a way to make some bucks off it somehow, that didn't involve suing said employers when the law is pretty clear in these cases. Friedrich initiated the suit against Marvel, and should've known what was coming. It's not even clear just how much credit Friedrich deserves for the character's creation; by all accounts, Mike Ploog and Roy Thomas had a hand it in as well. If ever a character was dependent on its visuals, its GR - I'd say if anyone has a gripe, it's Ploog. Am I a corporate stooge? I like to think I'm a realist. Since the early 90s, comic creators have insisted on getting better deals for their creations. Bully for them; they deserve it. But prior to that, copyright law is what it is. As Clint once said, "Deserve's got nothin' to do with it."

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:15 a.m. CST

    RT may not be the End All...

    by Logan_1973

    But it does give you an idea of what to expect. Those numbers aren't pulled from thin air. Show me one instance where its been inaccurate.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:23 a.m. CST

    xenii

    by Duckenheimer

    ...what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this talkback is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Don't be so cruel to Ghost Rider...

    by BlueLando

    Give me a break. It was terrible. And I say that as someone who's not that fond of the comic-book character. The first film was dreadful, and this looks worse.

  • Just trying to help your critic skills here. That doesn't make much sense.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:34 a.m. CST

    back when nuked the fridge used to be jumped the snake river canyon

    by Arcadian Del Sol

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Logan173

    by Lost Jarv

    Show me one instance where its been inaccurate.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Funny how nerds bash the hell out of the first one when...

    by alienindisguise

    Ghost Rider looked just like he did in the comics and did the trademark shit from the comics. Isn't that all it takes to satisfy you fucking dweebs?

  • I figured it was a stinker. Of course, who expects something really great from Ghost Rider? Nonetheless - it's a comic book movie, so I'm there; should be worth a $10 bill and two hours.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Please be good . . .

    by Nice Marmot

    Please be good . . .

  • Or maybe I'm just not their target.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 9:06 a.m. CST

    lost jarv

    by Logan_1973

    I can't. That's my point.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 9:09 a.m. CST

    RT

    by Logan_1973

    EPISODE I 57%

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Urghhhh! I tell myself I'm not going to read another one of Harrys reviews

    by Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Yet like a ten dollar crack whore, I come back. Never again! Cast this demon from me! *sits in the shower fully clothed shivering in shame and disgust*

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 9:11 a.m. CST

    RT

    by Logan_1973

    EPISODE I 57% RED TAILS 36% HUGO 93% JACK AND JILL 6% Show me were the inaccuracies are.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 9:19 a.m. CST

    alienindisguise

    by Cymbol

    Um, didn't you just answer your own question? Obviously not.

  • Demon warriors is like an R rated graphic novel where demons all fight and each one has a different superpower. One guy can shoot you in your kill spot so if he just glances at you and shoots you will die. So he can just run full speed shooting all over the place. This other demon can read minds so he shoots you where you're thinking about standing. It's fun as shit so far.

  • That's a historic first right there

  • It's a lot better! I think the other Marvel films have now elevated it in the same way I give Thor and Cap a pass because they're part of the bigger whole of Avengers. I can see Tomas Jane's punisher walking by behind iron man. He is a great punisher. Look what he does to that one guy that was one of the guy's who killed his family. He breaks several bones and stabs him several times before leaving the knife in his mouth pinning his jaw to the top of his head. Refreshing.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 9:34 a.m. CST

    alienindisguise

    by BlueLando

    God, you're dense!

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 9:38 a.m. CST

    denofgeek.com

    by the new transported man

    Anybody ever check out Den Of Geek? I'm pretty sure they're a Hollywood shill site. 4/5 stars for this movie, & a comparably positive review for that Journey 2 movie. Kissing ass in hopes of press packets & freebies, maybe?

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 9:43 a.m. CST

    RT...Indiana Jones 4...77% fresh?

    by gus

  • Life's too short. Meh.

  • I saw this, and it's a major MAJOR pile of shit. Enough with the "who cares that the story was stpupid and nothing made sense, I had fun!!!" TO me, that's like saying "Who cares if she used to be a man, I still got LAYED!!!!" Expect more from films Harry. Look at something like Tremors. THAT WAS FUN, it didn't take itself to seriously, but in the end, we got a good story, that didn't insult the viewer. Shaun of the Dead was a blast... that was fun... BUT HAD A GOOD STORY. Enough of this BULLSHIT, of making films passable, because it has a few scenes of eye candy. Expect more man.... respect yourself, and your time in the theater.... shit like Ghost Rider, are the best example of retarded cinema.

  • In FACT!!!, Bobby was known to pepper his crack pipe with coke before he parted Whitney's Brown starfish with it. HOUSTON, we have take off!!! They say that's one of the best ways to do the white lady. Sprinkle some heroin on there too and it's called Speed Balling!FACT!!!

  • Wonder what Harry got to give this a positive spin..this is the worst movie ive seen in a long time

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 10:16 a.m. CST

    I have a theory that Harry is seriously high when he sees these things

    by Joe Plumber

    And that goes doubly so for Father Geek as well.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 10:18 a.m. CST

    choppah

    by Joe Plumber

    I just made that up, but I'm sure it's been done and I'm actually strangely curious to try it now.

  • Harry, I think you might have misspelled his name on purpose as a gag, and I just missed the joke, but as a child of the 70's who had toys of the man, I insist on respect for a man who wore a cape and broke every bone in his body for our entertainment! RIP, Evil. lol

  • So sayeth Roger Moore, one of RT's "top critics." So there's that...

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 10:44 a.m. CST

    If this is still playing after Mardi Gras...

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    ...I might see it as a matinee, based mostly on that behind-the-scenes video with the rollerblades etc.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 10:48 a.m. CST

    Darth, I have a similar theory

    by BlaGyver

    Except it's more along the lines that Harry's opinion and reviews don't mean shit anymore either way. He's gone off the deep end and I just can't make myself care anymore.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 10:48 a.m. CST

    And chop

    by BlaGyver

    Whitney takes it in the stinker. Absolutely.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Yeah, it's currently at 13% at RT and falling fast

    by Joe Plumber

    See the blurbs i posted above.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Harry, how is the 3D? No one is mentioning the 3D.

    by Joe Plumber

    Must be Meh.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Much like THE PUNISHER and if we're all honest, WOLVERINE is.

    by Olsen Twins_Fan

    It's got words and punctuation, but that's no sentence. Otherwise, Harry seems less high than usual, which is a good thing.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:28 a.m. CST

    I hear Brian Cox is great as Nicolas Cage

    by BlaGyver

    And that Joan Fontaine is great as that character she didn't actually play.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Nice review of the making of featurette Harry

    by thelordofhell

    Now go see the film

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Is it better than John Carter..."The biggest writeoff of all time"

    by thelordofhell

    http://tinyurl.com/7gnmr5o

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:44 a.m. CST

    If you're thinking of seeing this...

    by V

    ...DON'T. I read talkbacks but dont generally write on them. Today, I am making an exception because if I can stop one person wasting their time and money on this, I'll feel better than I do now after watching this POS. I despise the first film but was cautiously optimistic about this based on trailers and some semi-positive BNAT reviews, especially Harry who I almost nearly always agree with. HE WAS WRONG. - This movie reminds of the time when comic book movies were not taken seriously. It makes Steel seem like The Dark Knight in comparison - Ghost Rider looks like he's from a 90's DTV flick. If this cost $75 mil, Cage must have cost 70 - Nic Cage has worse moments than "not the bees" and worst still, the plot attempts to justify and then encourage it. Because of this movie, I may never enjoy Adaptation or Con Air again - The villain starts as your typical annoying, act cocky punkass cliche baddie and then because even more of a douche once he turns into one of one of the Twins from The Matrix - Bourne shaky cam is tough to deal with at the best of times, in 3D it's headache inducing. I felt ill at a few points and I say this as someone who is a 3D fan - The editor suffers from ADHD, Tourettes and a hard on for over the top MTV video clips - Idris Elba actually gives a fuck and it's depressing that he has nothing to do but get pizaid - The score was made by a 16 year old kid that got a guitar and Best of Metal CD when he was 15 One more thing you should know is that I fell asleep about 1 hour in to it and then caught the last 10 mins. My only regret is that it didn't happen earlier.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:44 a.m. CST

    http://tinyurl.com/yrp4qo

    by Nick

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:57 a.m. CST

    If Rottentomatoes is useless

    by Nerd Rage

    name some good movies that got less than 20%.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:59 a.m. CST

    evayazeblay, Great Review!

    by Joe Plumber

    I wasn't going to see it, but you saved me from eventually renting it. Life's too short and there are so many great movies still left to see.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 12:17 p.m. CST

    well full of shit or vicoden

    by gus

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 12:29 p.m. CST

    GHOST RIDER 2 SUCKED

    by David Werring

    Loved the first one..But Damn Harry and others..This movie sucked..I have not seen a movie this bad since Johna hex..(Yes i can see it coming...some will post..I liked johna hex)..fine..but saw GR:2 for free and with the exception of the pissing fire moments..and cgi...this movie is terrible...

  • I remember reading it way back and thinking, "seriously?" Looks like I wasn't alone. But I still like it here.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 12:33 p.m. CST

    sounds like a fun rental

    by fat_rancor_keeper

    I'd give it a shot for sure on netflix when it comes out. Just not running to the theater to see it.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Somebody revoke his Geek card, please..

    by Phildogger

    Harry, I can't trust your reviews anymore. Capone is way more trustworthy these days. Sorry big guy, but ever since you chose HD-DVD, you've been waaaaaaaay off.

  • he brought us all here and gave us an outlet and i will always be greatful..but his movie reviews simply cant be trusted..some of the stories here are still good and its an overall fun place to spend my workday....but come on what did they give you for a serbian film..a set of baby raping collectables!

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Well, at least we now know where Harry gets his shitty taste in films

    by Joe Plumber

    The pumpkin doesn't fall far from the tree, so to speak.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 12:53 p.m. CST

    The Greatest Love of All: The Anal History of Whitney Houston. Chtp.1

    by conspiracy

    It was at the age of 13 that Whitney’s godmother sat her down on the steps of New Hope Baptist Church; and set her on the path that would both lead her to the greatest of heights, yet would also see her tits down in a bathtub at the Beverly Hilton. As Whitney related in her now buried, pending autobiography “Lookin up from my Bottom”; ‘Aretha set my ass down on the steps after service in 1976, I was still sweatin from trying to hit them high notes and she looked over to me, and I aint never gonna forget this…she looked over to me and said; ‘Girl…you got pipes…but the RIGHT pipe gotta open up to get anywhere, you gotta loosen up that tight coin purse down below if you gonna get where in this business, cuz anal is the currency of fame’”. Whitney took her Godmothers advice to heart, and ass, and never looked back. Whitney had starts and stops in her early career…but as the blowjob and blow 70’s gave way to the cornhole and crack 80’s one man saw the talent in her, a talent that hung just past the taint of mediocrity her Godmother lifted her from all those years ago, that man was Clive ‘Bum Bruiser’Davis with him driving her from behind, Whitney’s fortunes took an asstronomical turn. You Give Good Love, a song that reportedly was about Davis introducing her to the delights of Yogurt Enema’s, and How Will I Know…, a song in which Whitney expresses her shyness about Anal sex, and how she received her mother and Godmothers sage advice, was penned in the basement of a Davis associate after a night of buggery in which Whitney experienced for the first time the traditional uses of Melted butter and Maple syrup after a late dinner at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, broke out…and a Star war born. Her fame soared as high as her small but accepting velvet valley was deep; and in 1987 Millions of American men would watch Houston shimmy in a skin tight dress on MTV singing I wanna dance with somebody and wonder…”Does that amazing ass get a workout”, Clive knew the answer was yes, an answer he was loathe to tell anyone, but within a few years the world would know…courtesy of one Robert Barisford "Bobby Brown Eye Bustin" Brown. ....

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 1:04 p.m. CST

    conspiracy, only Chtp.1?

    by Joe Plumber

    Can't wait for the next installment.

  • i love my oldman but besides sports we have nothing to say to one another..it would be cool to have a dad that was a geek like his only son

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 1:11 p.m. CST

    conspiracy's stories are like potato chips: you always want more

    by Joe Plumber

    I would love to see a Chicken Soup for the Soul type book with all of Conspiracy's short stories compiled together.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 1:13 p.m. CST

    I wish I were as easily amused a xenii and Harry

    by Joe Plumber

    Life would be so much easier.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Blade 2 sucked, Harry

    by TheFifthCylon

    Worst of the three Blade films, by far. I love Del Toro, but that was his 'off' moment.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 1:51 p.m. CST

    12% on RT

    by Raskolnikov_was_framed

    Harry is losing his fucking mind...first Red Tails and now this?? he's becoming the white overweight Armond White...except Harry rates movies highly because of product placement and obvious stereotypes

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Glad to hear the movie works better than Harry's SpellCheck function...

    by GreatWhiteNoise

    You write for a living, Harry. Do it properly.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 1:56 p.m. CST

    Harry You Have A Responsibility

    by Raskolnikov_was_framed

    to your readers to actually lead them to see good movies and not waste their money...you get to see these shitfests for free...most of the rest of us don't...think about that before you recommend the next Nic Cage cash grab

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 2:04 p.m. CST

    the film delivers

    by j2talk

    the film delivers...EXACTLY what it should....an hour and a half of mind numbing action, get some popcorn and a coke, sit back, check out and enjoy the show!!!!!

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 2:09 p.m. CST

    15% on Rotten Tomatoes. Stop reccomending garbage.

    by happybunni

  • Nuff said, true believer.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 2:17 p.m. CST

    j2talk

    by Raskolnikov_was_framed

    those type of films should stop appealing to you once you turn 10...if you have to "turn your brain off" or "check out" to enjoy a movie that means the movie sucks and you're either too stupid to notice or you're making an excuse for it...but when actual challenging emotional rewarding flicks come out none of you mouth breathers go and then it's back to Nic (I'm in debt and I need to work) Cage and Jennifer (my pussy smells so I can't keep a man) Aniston nonsense on endless repeat...ugh...it's infuriating but remember to keep following Harry's recommendations...loved Red Tails and this but didn't care for Inception

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 2:29 p.m. CST

    facepalm

    by Tighxo

    and then you lot complain when hollywood continues to churn out crap when you pay to see junk like this. Good lord some of you nerd apologists and blind comic film lovers are waayyyyy too nerdy, and I've gotten a fucking thunder cats tattoo.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Stupid stupid stupid movie....DO NOT WAIT A PENNY ON THIS

    by gus

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Inept-ion was a pretentious boor

    by j2talk

    Inept-ion- spelling intentional-was a pretentious boor...an oscar bait film....nice SFX,-didnt buy Leo for a moment all i see when ever i see him is Leonardo DiCaprio ( much like Tom Cruise of John Wayne)

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Fuck you, Marvel/Disney

    by Joe Jones

    I hope this tanks for what they doing to Gary Freidrich, the 70 year old creator of Ghost Rider. They R demanding that he, who is broke and at the end of his life, pay them $17K b/c he sued them for a piece of the character he created and they have ridden to millions in movie tix, toys. They don't even want him to tell people he created the character. Look it up. It is evil.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 2:49 p.m. CST

    try a matinee

    by j2talk

    GhostRider 2 cost me all of $7.50 this afternoon including popcorn......

  • I only go to see a nic cage movie to marvel at the toupee madness!!!

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3 p.m. CST

    michigan

    by j2talk

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Chapter 2..."Prerogotives and Rectalcussions"

    by conspiracy

    Dionne awoke with a start, her ass tingling and pulsating; she had always been a sensitive, her own clairvoyant rump roast the go to divinatory for most of Hollywood, and keenly aware of her families anal activities…but in the early 90’s as her cousin Whitney’s fame spread farther and farther abroad as did her taut darkly tanned thong eater…Dionne became worried that her reliance on and love of constant anal attention had gone too far, that Whitney’s life was now dependant upon her insatiable dark chocolate buttercup. The Dionne sensed through familial bung bonds that Whitneys her coin purse was not just open, but that her booty bounty was being squandered by a man who knew how to mine such a glory hole. Driven by mutual insatiable desire for backdoor bashing…Bobby and Whitney’s lives soon out of control, her once melodious voice now tortured and strained by all night plundering of her plush, puckered, purple pooter and Bobby’s demands for group ATM sessions…which insiders claim a cocaine fueled Brown would demand nightly…screaming “It’s My Prerogative Woman” out of their New Jersey Mansions open windows to the astonishment of their white haired; when the Browns moved in…there was no doubt that the Booty Bustin had invaded the Blue Bloods. Fueled by narcotics and the addiction to Whitney’s hard, hot cock hopper…Brown soon hit bottom…and Whitneys was to follow. Jalwalla Bungderhard, Mendham Township UPS driver of the Year, relates the following; “everyday more packages arrived, they started small…and grew in size weekly. Once a box fell open and a large red triangle fell out and bounced around in my truck…I though it was a garden Gnome those crazy white folks get…but Lousia the house keeper told me it was a toy…a toy for Mr. Browns Pitbull; only later did I learn that was his little name for Ms. Houstons Panty Dragon.” Friends of the late singer have alluded that the infamous interview with Diane Sawyer, almost caused the respected journalist to follow Whitney back to the Mans…for a “Back Doors and Black Snakes” party she and Bobby were throwing for Chaka Khan that evening…, until Whitney in a moment of clarity told Sawyer…”If you go…you ain’t ever going back…let me tell you…my crack is whack” referencing her callused but still addicting soft serve trough. This was later edited and cut…making the focus of the piece about Whitney’s drug usage…and not the much less acceptable addiction to deep colon massage. As Bobby and Whitney’s union ended…after his addiction to Whitney’s heavenly hash maker drove him over the edge and into a brief flirtation with sobriety and straight sex, Whitney’s own end was fast approaching…an end where one womans ass destroyed all that dared enter….

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Choppah...Fresno Cali still has $7:50 Matinee's...

    by conspiracy

    And Mexico has a higher standard of living than does Central California...

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:28 p.m. CST

    I just saw it and . . .

    by Rob Jenson

    . . . I had a good time with it. It wasn't great, but the Ghost Rider effect was beautifully rendered -- I mean really pretty fucking awesome -- and the movie had a nice tone and energy. Ghost Rider really needs a better nemesis, though. SPOILER His nemesis in this one is the goddamned Devil, and the Devil doesn't even have any special powers or abilities. Lame! He's just a guy. The only ability he has is to make other people into super-villians, and the only one he makes to oppose the Rider has an ability that CAN"T HURT THE RIDER. The dude has the ability to ROT FLESH, but the Rider HAS NO FLESH! AAAAARRRRGHHH!!!!! I mean, really, people! But -- sigh -- other than massive writing blunders like this, and like Harry said, the fact that it needs to be R, it had a lot of style, and I managed to have fun with it. Just don't expect too much.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Reading the reviews on this site...

    by Chris

    Make me hopeful that any poorly read moron can make it in America. Thanks, staff at AICN. You've given me hope.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:42 p.m. CST

    ,"Panty Dragon" and, "soft serve trough"

    by Joe Plumber

    bravo, sir

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Ghost Rider was my first experience with the Marvel bait and switch

    by mr.underwater

    The covers to the late 70s/early 80s Ghost Riders would be so fucking cool, you'd throw down your 35 cents (or whatever) thinking you just bought the most awesome thing on the planet. Then you opened it... Not only did the art get a whole lot shittier, the stories would be just downright fucking bad. Seemingly made up as they went along. The comic sucked, no two ways about it. But, those covers... Somehow, I'm sure the movies are in the true spirit of Ghost Rider. Posters, trailers, etc look awesome, but once you throw down your 10 dollars (or whatever) you're in for a shit parade. So in that sense, I guess they're faithful. To those expecting them to be good, uh, it's fucking Ghost Rider.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:52 p.m. CST

    I'm pretty sure no one is getting upset about this movie because...

    by Tom Fremgen

    ... of how Ghost Rider looks- or how he returns to normal after being Ghost Rider- nor the fact that he has flaming wheels. I think most people will accept the - it's magic - explanation. Lack of characters we care about, a non-sense plot, and poor performances- that's what usually gets people upset about a movie. Plug- Check out my comicbook Cindy Li http://www.toonocity.com

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Probably no time for Pt3...I DO have to earn my paycheck..

    by conspiracy

    if I get time I'll drop it here...or on TwoGuysOneCupcake

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Why can't reviewers write on this site?

    by christpunchers2007

    I get the point of these reviews but they're sometimes so poorly written that it's a bitch to to read them.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 4:04 p.m. CST

    conspiracy

    by Joe Plumber

    feel free to use, "crack piping" in Part 3. I'd be honored.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 4:07 p.m. CST

    How many times is Harry going to repeat "Now, that said"?

    by christpunchers2007

    Come on man, you can do much better than that.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Why Fridays Are Awesome

    by Patrick Pettay

    I used to love Friday because it was the last day of the work week and I could go directly to the bar and get sauced after work. Now I look forward to the announcement of the weekly Fudge Pack Friday contestant and reading Conspiracy's lovely prose. Then I go to the bar and get sauced. Friday's Rule.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 5:38 p.m. CST

    IT'S SHIT.

    by Pixelsmack

    End of story.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 5:40 p.m. CST

    GO WATCH "STRAIGHT TO HELL" AT HOME INSTEAD.

    by Pixelsmack

    Either the OG 1987 version or 2010 re-release.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 7:24 p.m. CST

    AICN is NOT responsible for saving movie goers money!!!

    by antonphd

    if you are bitching about spending money on a movie then you don't belong at AICN

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 7:57 p.m. CST

    This thing was a crazy grindhouse super hero movie.

    by Yelsaeb

    I expected no less from Neveldine/Taylor. It was freaking awesome. Now please don't mistake this as me saying it was a good movie. It was not. Like Punisher Warzone, it was simply awesome, insane, and incredibly fun. But not good. At all. I have no beef with that fact. I could watch a hundred movies just like this. They're modern day grindhouse movies and Neveldine/Taylor are darn good at making them.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 7:59 p.m. CST

    And Nic Cage was absolutely crazy.

    by Yelsaeb

    It just looked like he was having so much fun shooting this thing.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:20 p.m. CST

    I watch a lot of movies

    by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE

    and will probably skip this one

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 8:24 p.m. CST

    Conspiracy = God of Talkbacks.

    by KilliK

  • With each passing year, AICN news and reviews have become more laughable, but the talkbackers have gotten better and better. 10 years ago this was THE site for movie news, but the talkbacks were 100% spam, scum, and villainy. Now the talkbacks, and Quint, are the only reason to log on here.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 10:02 p.m. CST

    Sounds like a decent netflix rental.

    by DanielnocharismaCraig

    I'll still watch it. Can't be worse than any of the transformer movies.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:34 p.m. CST

    V to the O to the D

    by Jeff

    I can smell a crap sandwich. Still might be fun for a laugh.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:38 p.m. CST

    GHOST RIDER in it's flame-enriched soul

    by tomandshell

    You shouldn't use a possessive apostrophe in this sentence. "It's" means "it is."

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:49 p.m. CST

    Harry, fuck you.

    by Mattman

    You're a fucking dickhead for recommending this. I saw it. It was one of the worst comic book movies ever made. That's not even a matter of opinion. Goddamn. You've sincerely lost your fucking mind.

  • Feb. 17, 2012, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Anyone who "dug this" must have been stoned.

    by Buddapest

    It was lame. Really, really stupid - from re-inventions of the origin story to Nic Cage just acting pure-tee ignorant like he sometimes does (think his death scene in KICK ASS)... Not faithful to the mythos of the comics in any way. Why can't a decent movie come from a comic book series where most of the original stories were very straight forward for the most part? I want my $18 back... This drek made the original look like a masterpiece. PLEASE pass the GHOST RIDER torch to a blonde, younger lead with acting chops, Nic Cage! You're too old and weird to be playing this role! We get it. You're broke, and you need the money, so you're whoring yourself to Hollywood like Bruce Willis and that dude from G.I. Joe who are starring in every other movie this summer...LET SOMEONE ELSE HAVE A TURN! Go play with Robin Williams and all the other members of the over-used acting club!

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 12:14 a.m. CST

    There's no such thing as a good comic book movie.

    by MajorFrontbum

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 2:12 a.m. CST

    Harry's Attack of the Clones. . . ah fuck it. Go ahead and forget.

    by WerePlatypus

    I'm done. Seriously.

  • Ghostrider 2 looks like good irreverent way to start a fun night off but a sequel to the first Daredevil movie would be a blinder!

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 3:59 a.m. CST

    Yet MARVEL FANS will say it's better than Green Lantern...

    by Zurge

    Is it just me or is our Geek Fan Base becoming polarized like Washington...I hope not, we tend to be smarter than that. I will see this movie, and will love it for what is, and not for what it's not. Peace y'all.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 5:58 a.m. CST

    On par with Punisher: War Zone, and that's a good thing

    by Don

    How awesome would it be if somebody would do the Daredevil equivalent to these films? http://goo.gl/i6s4x

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 6:11 a.m. CST

    xenii, name some good movies than got less than 20% on RT

    by Nerd Rage

    You probably can't. Face it, RT can be a useful tool to seperate trash from the good stuff if you have litmited time or money.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 6:33 a.m. CST

    Jesus, Harry!

    by DJEagles11

    You struggle to put a coherent sentence together. That was a tough read.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 6:49 a.m. CST

    xenii, also name us a bad movie over 80%

    by Logan_1973

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Spell Evel Knievel right

    by vaginacamp

    Christ.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 10:24 a.m. CST

    I'm not going to be tricked into seeing this one

    by Norm3

    Why are they still making sequels to crap movies. They think Marvel fans will see everything because it was a Comic Book.

  • And when 85% of them say a movie is shit then the movie is shit. If you think otherwise then you're the typical mentally retarded film-goer who only watches shitty American action movies/comedies.

  • I dont know why...they stole a lot of the jokes from other movies/TV shows, but I had fun with that movie.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Don't forget, AICN PRAISED Attack the Block & Chronicle.

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    And Merrick went to see Phantom Menace 3-D. Sooooooooo..... Just sayin'

  • about the nominated movies,we are talking about a comic-book trash movie?

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 1:26 p.m. CST

    I think The Guard got snubbed from the Oscars. Great flick

    by ToughGuyRizzo

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 1:29 p.m. CST

    I think The Guard got snubbed from the Oscars. Great flick

    by ToughGuyRizzo

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Wait a sec. I need to go save the world and push the button over at:

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    http://enterthehatch.com

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 3:29 p.m. CST

    3rd Best hero flick ever

    by BADBOYBROM HC

    After dark knight and iron man. Gonna see it again Tuesday. Fucking excellent.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 5:22 p.m. CST

    *come on, I mean.

    by Elgyn6655321

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 5:35 p.m. CST

    This IS HOW YOU MAKE A GOOD GHOST RIDER MOVIE.....

    by qjinx

    Take all "The Road Warrior's" driving action scenes and replace the drivers with demons. Have them all drive in a huge caravan with a hostage and have Ghost rider fighting them all off one by one. This movie hinted at this but didnt stay with it. Ghost Rider needs to be post apocalyptic to work onscreen. Take all the craziness action of the mad max movies, make them all demons, set them all on fire and film the motherfucker! Ghost Rider movie

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 6:20 p.m. CST

    canned_dirty_ape

    by Rob Jenson

    Are comments like that really necessary? If you don't like the movie, fine, say so and elaborate. There's no reason for name calling, and if that's your level of mentality it pretty much invalidates anything you have to say.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 8:01 p.m. CST

    The magazine had a simple two word review, Shit Rider

    by Orionsangels

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 9:29 p.m. CST

    Walked out of it this afternoon...

    by Nice Marmot

    ...after GR's second appearance. What a load of dung.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 9:41 p.m. CST

    WOW, badboybrom hc . . .

    by Nice Marmot

    . . .you've only seen THREE "hero" flicks in your entire lifetime???

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 10:01 p.m. CST

    Hey bob1000: Here's why:

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    Because we used to come to this site NOT to be mislead. There was a time where the credibility was solid and if Harry or Moriarty or any staff on this site put up a review, we trusted them to pay out hard earned cash and go see a flick. Now, when we smell bullshit, it usually is considering, considering the reviews we've gotten over the last years. So, we're pissed that they are hyping the fuck out of these movies, (Attack the Block/Chronicle) and trying to say something like Ghost Rider is worth spending $13 bucks on, when we all know it's gonna be shit.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 10:12 p.m. CST

    toughguyrizzo

    by Rob Jenson

    I know what you mean, but still . . . calling Harry an afterbirth raised as a person -- and addressing that to his fucking FATHER !!! -- goes rather beyond the pale. There's no need for that, and to stoop to that level . . . well, I can certainly never take anything canned_dirty_ape says seriously again, can I? He's obviously a troll and has nothing legitimate to contribute.

  • Every review you do gets increasingly incomprehensible.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 11:02 p.m. CST

    Jesus Fucking Goddamn Christ, Harry!

    by ThatEndDown

    That said, I've always believed that the right team could elevate GHOST RIDER into being Lon Chaney Jr quality tortured soul that's demonic soul would strike out and destroy those what had it coming.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 11:06 p.m. CST

    by ThatEndDown

    That said, I've always believed that the right team could elevate GHOST RIDER into being Lon Chaney Jr quality tortured soul that's demonic soul would strike out and destroy those what had it coming.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 11:06 p.m. CST

    toughguyrizzo

    by Rob Jenson

    Well . . . Harry's comments have always been what they are. I value them for their enthusiasm, and for his genuine love of movies. He actually kind of inspires me, even when his opinions are way off mine. As for Ghost Rider II, I had a good time with it, but that's very much on a B-movie, dumb-as-shit level, maybe around the level of Fantastic Four, but with more style and energy. So I can't give Harry a hard time about liking this movie. Although I pity anyone who paid full price. Because, really, it was like worth two dollars. Maybe three.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 11:06 p.m. CST

    by ThatEndDown

    That said, I've always believed that the right team could elevate GHOST RIDER into being Lon Chaney Jr quality tortured soul that's demonic soul would strike out and destroy those what had it coming.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 11:10 p.m. CST

    Oh fuck it

    by ThatEndDown

    Your shitty talkback section keeps cutting off my post after the first line, and ultimately you and your horrible grammar, sentence structure, and taste in movies really are not worth the trouble of trying to get the entire post posted. In short: Fuck it.

  • Feb. 18, 2012, 11:56 p.m. CST

    That's what I'm saying Bob. We used to trust Harry

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    But I'm not wasting money on shit. I'll wait for the Asian bootleg guy to come into my bar and shell out 5 bucks, lol. But I've been following AICN since 98' and the level of quality has severely dropped with reviews. I do love the talkbacks, but man, ALOT of the posts/news/topics have been re-posted from another site. I don't know what's more annoying; Harry's grammar or creepythinman's "FACT" posts.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 2:13 a.m. CST

    One of the worst movies I've seen in a theater. Ever.

    by Lex Luthor II

    Wow that was disappointing. Horribly paced. Sparse and uninspired action. Visibly low production value. Cheesy villain. Very average and forgetful plot. Terrible acting. Random and weird Nic Cage freakouts that aren't funny anymore. Stupid final act. I actually found myself remembering the first one fondly while watching this movie, and in the theater I thought to myself I wish I was rather watching the first one again... something I NEVER thought I'd say. VERY disappointing. Not fun, outside of a VERY FEW moments, and just plain bad.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 2:26 a.m. CST

    Violante is so hot

    by Psycho_Kenshin

    Only one sentence on her and its saying she's NOT blazing? She's too hot. Also, Nic Cage delivers the goods and this film is excellence.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 3:49 a.m. CST

    I own every hero film there is buy

    by BADBOYBROM HC

    With exception of Captain America as i need it to drop in price, it's a bit too shit to pay top dollar for. Like i said ghost rider 2 makes the top 3 list after dark knight and iron man 1

  • The Ghost Rider should torture Johhny Blaze - this guy is trying to have a straight life while he keeps on turning into a flamming skull & skeleton with an major appetite for destruction that keeps on getting him involved in bananas crazy plots about the end of the world & invading demonic hoards of one type or another - meanwhile like when's he's not ghostrider he's trying to somehow incorporate it all into building a normal life & sane worldview that just makes it all the more rediculously straight faced & mind melting fun. Done right could be a lot of millage for many more crazy & straight faced funny cinematic rides of awful dialogue & plots that are just terribly awesomely fun.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Mcweeny

    by INWOsuxRED

    Says this is the worst marvel movie ever. They must not have let him screen this at a festival.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 9:39 a.m. CST

    toughguyrizzo

    by Rob Jenson

    creepythinman's FACT

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 9:53 a.m. CST

    Saw it yesterday

    by _Lizarkeo

    Loved the 90's comics by TEX, so I was there for the new flick. Cage is kinda old for the part ("The Statham" would be ace. His head already looks like a skull), but this time, they didn't mess up with his hair, heh. And the crowd with me LOVED every Cagerisms. About the 3D. Watched HUGO at the same night and guess what? The Rider's 3D wasn't so bad compared to the other one. To tell the truth, it was "anxiously yours, batshite insane 3D in your FACE" kind of 3D (i.e., no shitty cardboard effect 3D this time). Great comic timing edits. Miss THE EVA, but the new gal does the Sarah Connor trick kinda well (but you don't see her waitress past. Or ANY past at all). The kid should exchange roles with the MORE CREEPY kid from Hugo, heh. Ciáran is always great but his character is essentially a Lost mystic villain (i.e., you expected WAY more use of powers). And Whitworth looks like the Lost doctor, heh. Elba's character deserves his own movie: "Blade Resurrection: The Bloody Puss Lickers with a Purrfect French Accent. BTW, That was All Sarcasm, Babou". And Lambert with a sword ready to CHOP another head AGAIN? How cool was that? Ok, not really. How about the Rider himself? He is all spunky this time and deserves a Special Oscar for "Best Flaming Skull Ever. And Jacket". But, with his jacket melting all the time, how comes nobody get in instant COOKING when they're very close to him? I mean, VERY CLOSE indeed. IT'S FRAKKING DISTRACTING, you know? <p\> Kinda mixed feelings here. But one scene, the best scene, and I picked my side. You are not a truly GEEK if you didn't pissed yourself (with flames, no less) when the old Rider PUT THE FLAMES on DEVASTATOR (or the huge mechanical thinguie). These CRANK guys are the future of FUNtertainment. Now. Just put this insane duo to adapt DEADPOOL THE TRIPLE-R RATED MOVIE next. With a brit accent (THE STAT). And with Cage as himself. We just love the guy. Long live the Cage. <p/><p/> Cheers.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 10:59 a.m. CST

    i come here for the talkback only

    by Philip Tolken

    but to see reviews like this for movies that are so obviously pieces of shit is just hilarious. if harry ever had an ounce of respect or credibility, it has certainly shriveled up and died.

  • Come on Brother, it's time to look in the mirror. Your true fans know you have become a plant and it's so disappointing.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 11:38 a.m. CST

    I'm glad Harry loves movies - But I can't use his reviews as a guide

    by FrodoFraggins

    He likes too many movies I abhor and I can't really make sense of what he does and occasionally doesn't like.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Over/under

    by INWOsuxRED

    On the time it takes for Harry to accidentally admit this movie is shit in another review?

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 2:06 p.m. CST

    PWESENTS and GOODIES for ya Harry?

    by Fritzlorrerains

    Inception sucked but this was good?

  • no matter how 'grindhouse' you want to make a studio film thats PG-13 its going to come out on the other end looking like sanitized cock tease

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Another fun review

    by even9

    http://metalarcade.net/2012/02/ghost-rider-spirit-of-vengeance-movie-review/

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 5:17 p.m. CST

    might watch it...

    by The Dum Guy

    Saw a lil bit of it yesterday, within ten minutes I was seriously wondering what the fuck was going on (as in plot).

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Took your recommendation Harry and saw it yesterday afternoon...

    by themastadon

    And it was absolutely horrendous. The F/X were good, and I liked the artist drawings during the voice over, but the film was like one long trailer of "cool shots". I'm not asking much for a story in a popcorn flick, in fact I'm perfectly fine with films that execute more style over substance, but this was a sad excuse for a film with a horrible script (it probably was like 20 pages if it was just the dialogue), and acting that makes indie horror film actors look like Shakespearian thespians. Plus there was no 2D options by me, so I had to pay for 3D which was not part of my budget. After many years of being dissatisfied with your recommendations, I think this is the breaking point. If you like a movie, I know I most likely will not, and vice versa.

  • http://boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=3373&p=.htm SUCK IT HATERS.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 6:11 p.m. CST

    re :killik

    by The Dum Guy

    I think adjusted estimates have Safe House leading the weekend grosses (social media really helps kill off stinkers).

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 6:13 p.m. CST

    might want to re-read that post, killik

    by The Dum Guy

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 6:19 p.m. CST

    Are you being ironic, Killik?

    by Pvt. Duke

    Even if "number one at the B.O." was that big of deal, it still struggled (and may not outgross) two holdovers. An opening in the mid-twenties after tracking in the mid-thirties... it'll be lucky to reach sixty-mil overall when you factor in next week's inevitably collapse. Regardless of its lowered budget compared to the first, it still cost seventy-five mil before marketing. It should make it's money back over the long haul, but it sure as hell won't make any.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 7:12 p.m. CST

    sounds TAYLOR-made for me

    by frank cotton

    few films ever made suck like the first one. that stupid as shit chopper just did not cut it. looks (from the previews) as if they fixed that, which by itself would have kept me away from this one.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 7:13 p.m. CST

    pardon my poor english - it's the KLONOPIN

    by frank cotton

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 8:57 p.m. CST

    YOU HATERS ARE ON DENIAL.FACT.

    by KilliK

    the movie has owned your asses,now that it is no1 in the BO and you still cant admit that the rest of the world finds this flick good and doesnt care about your opinion.Harry is once again right,and you are WRONG.FACT.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 9:10 p.m. CST

    Νο,it's no1 ,boxofficemojo says so:

    by KilliK

    http://boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=3373&p=.htm

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 9:45 p.m. CST

    Not as "good" as the original

    by Blanket-Man

    I'm one of the few who kinda enjoyed the first GR flick, and this one disappointed me. The only improvement over GR1 was the special effects. My biggest complaint, and this surprised me, was Cage himself. His performance was all over the fuckin' map. You want to play Blaze as balls-to-the-wall batshit crazy? Fine, I can get on board. But do it consistently! He'd be completely whacked out of his mind one minute and then revert back to semi-normal GR1-Blaze in the next scene. I don't recall seeing a more WTF performance from a "name" lead actor in a long time. I felt little to no empathy for Blaze, which wasn't the case in the first movie. Elba did a nice job with a cardboard cut-out of a character. The Devil wasn't frightening at all. The kid wasn't Jake-Lloyd bad but he was close. And of course the script was completely lacking in inspiration and originality at any level. OK, the "anything GR operates becomes engulfed in flame" angle was somewhat inspired, but that's it. I re-watched CAPTAIN AMERICA today just to cleanse myself of the GR stench. I've decided that was my favorite flick of 2011. It may not have been the "best," but no other movie had me grinning from start to finish like Cap did. Can't wait for THE AVENGERS! OK, now let the GR Bashing resume!

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 9:56 p.m. CST

    Another crappy Harry review. Why do I read these?

    by Caleb Jeffries

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Um, Killik...

    by Mattman

    Ghost Rider 2 is at no. 3. Which is still better than it deserves.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 10:10 p.m. CST

    Did Killik read his own Link?

    by A-COD

    An Open Letter To Killik You must be 14. The link provided as evidence that Ghost Rider 'owned our asses" describes Ghost Rider 2's opening weekend as a "flame out" and call's it's 22M gross "meek". Son, this sequel grossed less than half of it's predecessor's opening weekend. I'm not sure that has ever been done before. Next time you want to offer box office analysis, try to get an adult to help you.

  • Feb. 19, 2012, 10:17 p.m. CST

    I can't believe they spent $75 million on this

    by Mattman

    I thought it couldn't have cost more than $35, especially with all the unfinished effects. The black background on half of the effects scenes was clearly due to budget running out. All that cocaine couldn't have been cheap.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 1:04 a.m. CST

    Saw it today. What the HELL was that?

    by thot

    Talk about a weird movie. Oddly paced, lots of hammy acting and a hero/villain dynamic I didn't give a damn about. And I am sick and tired of the "chosen/prophesied child" crap. DONE TO DEATH! Please stop! I rather enjoyed the first one but did see room for improvement. But....THIS is what they come up with? A cookie-cutter plot done better many times before? VERY disappointing. Ol' Ghost Rider may never get another chance to redeem himself on film. What a shame.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 2:23 a.m. CST

    One Gillion Dollars

    by Have_Penis_Will_Travel

    Is to be accumulated and at a later time is to be deposited into an account of my choosing You will meet my demands or I will Earwig the entire world This audible meme once released into the wild will bring world production to a halt Defy me at your peril For I Am Melvin Tiberius Pelvis The world you knew is no more The future SHALL be written by the squishy thing that occupies the space between my ears

  • Awesome b-grade semblance of plot involving the devil's shenanigans on earth, his minions & monks - tick strung out guy trying to be normal but who keeps turning into a flaming skull & skeleton with a passion for motorbikes as the anti-hero & who is really just a crazied demon - tick Off the wall film making that suits an off the wall comic book film adaption on amphetamines - tick effective special effects with laugh out loud type crazy images & mayhem - tick Story telling being both a serious fantasy journey while being completely insane & hilarious at same time - tick. Killer dialogue to match which doesn't miss a beat of it's serious ridiculousness - tick Totally left-field on initial release with a wide WTF audience reaction - tick Ghostrider 2 is seeming like it could be an unexpected guilty treat in 2012 all the way into my home viewing library; but maybe that's just me, or maybe not.. http://glasgowtothemovies.com/2012/ghost-rider-spirit-of-vengeance-2

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 7:28 a.m. CST

    I don't blame Harry for being a soulless shill with zero credibility.

    by NeonFrisbee

    That's not how I'd roll, but, then again, I also wouldn't allow myself to balloon to 800 pounds and therefore literally have to be rolled back and forth between screenings for awful movies like something outta Willy Wonka. He's a big fat fake and a fraud, but he's carved himself out a compfortable little niche that isn't really hurting you, so let the fat fuck lie his way to the bank. He's earned it. Like Jabba lolling about on his skiff to an early grave, he's earned it. Every last roll of fat. Earned it.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 8:24 a.m. CST

    LMAO @ killik

    by Logan_1973

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Harry you're fucking stupid

    by Knightsong

    I will never understand where your judgement for what is good and what is bad comes from, but I can only believe you are paid handsomely for endorsing what you do. This Ghost Rider was worse than the last Ghost Rider and I hated the last one. You shred the Thomas Jane Punisher for being so far off base, but you'll endorse this complete cinematic turdfest. This Ghost Rider, and the last one, were so far off from the comics it's not funny. The Punisher was a more accurate translation than either of these films. You offer no support to a film like Serenity, that was born out of complete fan/geek love, and will glowingly endorse movies like Van Helsing. Nothing cools my heels quicker on seeing a film that your excited endorsement of it.

  • here is the link with the latest BO grosses: http://boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=3373&p=.htm GR2 OWNED YOU.ROFL.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Learn how to read killik!

    by Logan_1973

    Your link has GR in 3rd place.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Is Mephisto in this one?

    by UltraTron

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Harry, how do you expect to be taken seriously...

    by Jaka

    ...when you say anything positive about a movie that 99% of the waking world has called a complete piece of shit? I didn't used to agree with the people who said your credibility was shot. Now... I'm not so sure...

  • Like a shit pile of a movie has never been number one at the box office before. That title has nothing to do with quality, only profit.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Anytime you type "FACT", you loose credibility.

    by ToughGuyRizzo

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Good work, Harry...

    by Logan_1973

    Less than a week away from the Oscars and you have us debating this utter drek.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Will this be the nail in Neveldine and Taylor's coffin?

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    Gamer barely made it's production money back, and this will fall to the bottom five next week, mark my words. No, I'm not a fan of the Crank films. I understand their appeal. Crazy, bug shit, violent, filmed in an ADD-coked up style. Perfect for todays youth market. But, I don't see them lasting in the long term.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 12:20 p.m. CST

    I agree with you, Harry...

    by j-bot

    It wasn't as awesome as it could have been, but I had a blast. The movie was an hour and a half and I was completely entertained the whole time. I will say the 3D was pointless though.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 12:34 p.m. CST

    I have to agree with Harry

    by Tony Jenkins

    The first Ghost Rider movie was a hodge podge of too many ideas. Even though it was Johnny Blaze, they had characters based on the Danny Ketch Ghost Rider comics. Now this new one - is based on the 70s & 80s Johnny Blaze comics. Ghost Rider had no penance stare - no care for who got in his way - and no spikes on his leather. I can understand why people don't get this movie. If you're not a fan of the original Johnny Blaze comics - you're not going to get it. I grew up on the 70s & 80s comics of Ghost Rider - and they were way over the top. Mixing in the spirit of Zarathos - Mephisto as Satan - and actually dealing with the Occult - this movie is a refreshing change from the first. This is a Ghost Rider movie - the way it should have been. If you don't get it - I suggest checking out some of the very early Ghost Rider/Johnny Blaze comics - and you'll see how far out in left field they were. And you'll see that this movie is a perfect representation of those comics. Not the Danny Ketch version - that I'm sure so many on this site are used too. I saw it in 3D and I'm going to see it a few more times. I watched this movie with the biggest grin - because they finally got what I loved about the early comics right. (Although - Johnny Blaze is a blonde in the original.)

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 12:56 p.m. CST

    I enjoyed it. It wasn't perfect but I enjoyed it

    by Smartacus

    I didn't have much of a problem with the first one either. It's a lot like kingdude1 is saying, if you recognize what you're looking at then there's a lot to like here. I'm more of a Blaze fan than Ketch but I liked both incarnations and these movies gave us a reasonable mash-up of them. I thought this one had an almost "Army of Darkness" thing going in places. It was fun.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 12:57 p.m. CST

    any time you type "loose" you lose your credibility

    by thekylegassproject

    seriously though. harry is an awful writer. just awful.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Much better than the First Movie

    by milesdyson

    Which isn't saying a lot, but I enjoyed VENGEANCE. The story is simple and the characters talk about it way too much, but the Crank guys have style and Cage delivers the weirdness as Blaze *and* Ghost Rider. His Ghost Rider performance was the best part of the movie. Why didn't they let him do that stuff in the first movie? He's so twitchy and weird.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Todd McFarlane drew one of the best Ghost Riders in Spidey

    by ToughGuyRizzo

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Is this as good as Van Helsing?

    by syn_flood

    Or the Nightmare On Elm Street remake?

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 2:01 p.m. CST

    lol thekylegassproject

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    fuck

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 2:07 p.m. CST

    pussy-licking awesome

    by treatment

    have you licked a pussy? do you currently? don't type/quote something you know little about.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 4:02 p.m. CST

    Box office doesn't mean people think its "good", Killik

    by D.Vader

    I can't believe you'd be dumb enough to believe that argument. A high box office on an opening weekend means a lot of people are *expecting* it to be good. When it continues to have a high gross as the weeks go by, then you can make the assumption that word of mouth spread enough and people said "sure, its worth your money". But on opening weekend? That doesn't mean "the rest of the world" finds the movie "good".

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 4:04 p.m. CST

    It's opening weekend was fairly low for a $75 million movie

    by Mattman

    Especially considering the massive drop it's going to have next weekend when word gets out how shitty it is.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Couldnt agree more: GR 2 is terrible

    by styx120

    The first movie was no masterpeice but every opportunity to improve it with a darker, grittier follow up was wasted on a bad played out script, pacing, directing and acting. Yes the Ghost Rider character looked great standing still...but that and the 30 second zany Blaze/GR eternal struggle were the movies only redeeming qualities. Sad really.

  • Besides typing "loose"

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 9:03 p.m. CST

    I saw it tonight, it was...odd

    by Yamato

    Yes, it was odd. There were parts that were good and there were too many parts that were bad (the last 20 min especially). I felt that they tried to do something original with this movie. It was not a successful attempt for the most part, but it still had some interesting bits to it. I liked Cage's crazy as batshit performance. The movie was not good, but in its defense, it did attempt some "out side the box" movie making. For that I do have a small affection for the film. It's too bad they did not try harder to make a good movie in addition to making an odd movie. I am a big fan Ciran Hinds (greatest Caesar since the first century BC), and he was terribly wasted as this was the lamest devil I have seen in a move in a very long time.

  • Good producers and directors will create the best product they can within their budgetary constraints. Do the best you can with what you've got to work with, but don't blame the budget afterwards. And certainly don't use it as a way to say, "see, look what we did with so little money" if you're film is shit. Great films CAN be made for very little money these days.

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 9:41 p.m. CST

    It's EVEL you twit.

    by WhatTheHellHappenedToMe

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 9:54 p.m. CST

    ...Hey, folks...

    by Buddapest

    ...Guess what...? ...I'm Harry Knowles... ...How can you know this? ...You see, I love elipses... Giggle. Thank you! I'll be here all week!

  • Feb. 20, 2012, 10:42 p.m. CST

    NOT ONE WORD ABOUT THE CREATOR???

    by spoits

    Gary Friedrich, 'Ghost Rider' Creator Bankrupted By Marvel & Disney THis sucks. if you believe in any way about corporations stealing from creators do not see this flaming poop.

  • Feb. 21, 2012, 12:34 a.m. CST

    That said

    by Jerkmeister

    That said. That said. That said.

  • The Ghost Rider came out awesome in this, beautifully rendered as someone else said

  • Feb. 21, 2012, 9:08 a.m. CST

    toughguyrizzo

    by thekylegassproject

    yeah, i figured it to be a typo but i couldn't resist. but god, isn't he just terrible?

  • Seriously, I see post after post saying "This is going to suck" and "They won't fool me again" based on the fact that the first one was bad (Truth is, the first one WAS NOT bad. It was a bad Ghost Rider movie, but it was a wonderful Elivs Presley movie. It was the best Elvis film that Elvis never made!) Well anyone who won't see Part 2 because they disliked Part 1 is a fucking moron. It has different directors this time, so your opinion of Part 1 is irrelevant. This is from the Crank guys, so you know it's going to be good. Unless if you're a fucking moron, that is.

  • Feb. 21, 2012, 9:16 a.m. CST

    ...and Gary Friedrich is an asshole...

    by TheFifthCylon

    Sue him, Disney. He deserves it. That shithead signed a contract and then tried to sue for rights that he DID NOT HAVE, FUCK HIM, and fuck all these 'creators' who sue for their rights back years after they signed contracts. Read the fucking contract before you sign the rights away, asshole. And once you do, you deserve JACK SHIT.

  • ..Like i knew Underworld sucked, like I know the avengers will suck, like i know John Carter will suck, like i know Spider Man will be better than expected, like i know TDKR will be epic, like i know Prometheus will be good, but not great, like i know that The Hobbit will be the biggest movie since...return of the king..... Check back with me Dec' 31st...we'll see who got closest.

  • Feb. 21, 2012, 9:57 a.m. CST

    This is from the Crank guys, so you know it's going to be good.

    by syn_flood

    Haven't laughed so hard in years, thanks!

  • Feb. 21, 2012, 10:47 a.m. CST

    @thefifthcylon

    by Orionsangels

    What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this talkback is now dumber for having read it. I award you no geek points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  • Feb. 21, 2012, 1:29 p.m. CST

    thekylegassproject

    by ToughGuyRizzo

    Hey man, that's what this thread is really about tight? I think the only way I would see Ghost Rider 2 is if I was paid or the Asian bootleg guy gives me a copy for free. Or maybe if it's on cable. And not FX or Spike because of commercials. They turn hour & thirty minute films into 3 hours. More like HBO or something; wait. HBO won't get that shit.

  • Feb. 21, 2012, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Sorry Harry, it sucked

    by Stephen Ott

    I wish I had felt about this piece of crap like Harry did, but I thought it was really bad. My biggest surprise was how quickly I was bored with it. I like the "Crank" movies but this thing just dragged. I can't compare it well to the first one because that sucked too and I don't remember a thing about it. And the 3-D in this one is nothing more than a money grab.

  • Feb. 21, 2012, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Tone

    by Marc W

    Only a few are catching on to the tone here--this thing is like a 70s b-movie satanic cult film mixed with Evil Dead 2 mixed with a grindhouse road movie--it's sooo out there that you have to like it!

  • Harry is not "lying" if he liked a movie that RT didn't. That's called "having an individual reaction" and "not giving a shit if the groupthink on RT and in these forums agrees with me or not"... You poor nerds with no imagination that want to be told somehow definitively that a movie is "good" or "bad" - it just doesn't work that way. For instance: The STAR WARS prequels are neither objectively good or bad. I like them a LOT, so for me and a lot of other people like me, they are SUBJECTIVELY good. To you and a lot of other people like yourself, they are SUBJECTIVELY bad. But I get it: It would certainly calm your minds to believe that popular art can be "proven" to have (or not have) quality, because then you could stop worrying that those people who like what you don't like are simply smarter than you. But it doesn't work like that. Because they are smarter than you. You've been taught that this is a nice, friendly world where everyone was given the same chance with the same set of abilities. But they haven't: there are smart people and there are stupid people; There are people who are willing to think for themselves, and there are people who are comforted to NOT think for themselves as long as 1,000,000 idiots are also NOT thinking for themselves in the same way. And for those of you looking to find "factual" evidence that the SW prequels suck - what would be factual evidence? Unpopular at box office? Re-released to a 20 million gross a few weeks ago? Oh, I know what counts as "proof" - when 1,000,000 unimaginative, groupthinking, intellectually lazy, fearful sheep all gather together in a huddle and frown. Yeah, that's proof all right. You know who raped your childhood? You did.

  • Feb. 21, 2012, 9:06 p.m. CST

    FUCK YOU HARRY YOU ARE WRONG

    by Pipple

    This is the best ghost rider film ever made. I can't believe you guys on here can't embrace the utter comic-book excellence being fire-pissed in your faces... What is wrong with you? Its biggest failing is that it's a comic book on screen. I've read comics and drawn them all my life, so I can tell you most are simple stupid shit with awesome michael bay visuals and you either love it or hate it. I totally dug this shit. And harry did too because he's got an appreciation for extreme art like comics. fuck. I wish it didn't bomb.

  • Feb. 21, 2012, 9:36 p.m. CST

    off topic - an idea for a remake worth making...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    i just watched "the illustrated man" again - rod steiger, robert drivas, claire bloom - jack smight dir. - late 60s - great movie based on a great story by bradbury... make it now with sam jackson as carl (the man), harry potter as willie, angelina jolie (or tilda swinton) as felicia - fincher, aronofsky or snyder dir. - keep the real time stuff intimate and real, just two actors and a small dog under a tree by a campfire and a pond - go real big with the tattoo episodes (rocket, lion, end of the world)

  • Feb. 22, 2012, 12:11 a.m. CST

    Last!

    by Pvt. Duke

    Harry needs to crank out a couple more reviews and knock this one off the main page. Put this thread out to pasture. I wanted Ghost Rider to be a hit for Cage, and also because I had a weird dream where it opened with seventy mil.

  • Feb. 22, 2012, 6:04 a.m. CST

    More bad than good, but more fun than bad...

    by Don

    It's the best movie about a motorcycle-riding flaming skeleton ever made, so, there's that. Expectations have to be managed here, nobody ever goes into Chili's anticipating to get a great meal. GR:SOV is like that. It's unapologetic about what it is, and that's commendable. http://goo.gl/i6s4x

  • Feb. 22, 2012, 6:06 a.m. CST

    Also, I didn't notice any product-placement

    by Don

    which was refreshing. http://goo.gl/i6s4x

  • Then that is totally understandable. GR 2003 fails at nearly every effort. http://goo.gl/esTrc

  • Feb. 22, 2012, 7:23 a.m. CST

    Ghost Rider is not an 'R' rated property.

    by The Awfulism

    It's a 1970's kid's comic for flip's sake. The first film was one of the better Marvel pics - fun, good looking and Nic Cage was a blast. Spirit of Vengeance is just awful - cheap looking, ugly and very, very boring.

  • Feb. 22, 2012, 10:13 a.m. CST

    This is from the Crank guys, so you know it's going to suck.

    by Joe Plumber

    Unless it's another Crank movie!

  • Feb. 22, 2012, 11:53 a.m. CST

    So Harry, are gonna have an AICN tv show?

    by thelordofhell

    Robert Rodriguez needs shows for his new cable network

  • Feb. 22, 2012, 12:04 p.m. CST

    HARRY: LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BAD CINEMA...

    by Zahaladeen

    ...and that would be Ghost Rider. Why would they make another? Haven't they seen the first one? Nick Cage is a fun, intense actor but as long as he keeps taking up with films marketing to peasant mass-market AMC fodder then we're never going to see him in something better - like shilling for ShamWow.

  • Feb. 22, 2012, 12:26 p.m. CST

    So, so much better then the first!

    by TheDudeinLA

    I was surprised...had fun. No not great. Shaky camera work is really starting to piss me off. I know the DP and he is a better shooter then that. The shaky cam is a directing decision. Stop it!!!

  • Feb. 22, 2012, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Now - you have to understand something about me

    by dancetothebeatofthelivingdead

    No, Harry, we don't. You see, you're supposed to be reviewing a movie. That's it. Not making up some story so that through an experience of your lif, you are mystically linked with every movie you review. Just review the movies and everything will be fien. We understand if you are reviewing a movie that doesn't ave something to do with your life. All of us watch movies, Harry, that contain wrlds and experiences that are alien to us. That's ok. You making up shit to personalize each review got old a long time ago, and when I saw that line above in this review, I just saw it an an opportunity to remind you that we understand if the movie your reviewing wasn't made specifically for you.

  • Feb. 23, 2012, 12:17 a.m. CST

    This is already on my Top 10 worst films of 2012.

    by Orionsangels

  • Feb. 23, 2012, 12:51 a.m. CST

    just saw it

    by themanwithaname

    and i'm sure it comes as no surprise that it was a flaming pile of doo doo. i was really hoping nevaldine/taylor would've done something interesting, especially with a firecracker like cage. all in all, i should've known better

  • Feb. 23, 2012, 1:48 a.m. CST

    foetus, I'm glad you agree about Ghost Rider.

    by Xen11

  • Feb. 23, 2012, 1:49 a.m. CST

    foetus, do you like Battle: Los Angeles?

    by Xen11

  • A friend told me that many rich guys and gorgeous girls like playing on a rich dating site, I joined 3 months ago, and find my lover there, a Banker from NewYork, please check my profile on ___Ric‘hM’ingle,Co-M___ , and vote for me. Thanks...

  • Feb. 23, 2012, 3:01 a.m. CST

    I can't deal with this anymore...

    by Frodo2000

    Listen, I love this site. I really do. I love movies, especially geeky ones, but Harry Knowles' reviews have to stop. I just can't stand his constant supplicating to bad movies anymore! I don't know if money is the only thing that matters to him anymore or if something happened to his brain and he only likes garbage. It's crazy. I rarely even click on his reviews anymore, but even reading headlines that say things like "Ghost Rider is B-Movie Madness" or "Capone is on crack for not liking Red Tails" makes me want to stab my eyes out and scoop out my eardrums. For real. Harry - please retire from writing reviews. You're too involved in the business for your opinions to be pure and un-corrupted, man. Nick Nunziata seems to be able to stay honest and I wish you could follow his example. Give Quint the reins to be the "Editor" or whatever and keep some sort of "Publisher" credit yourself so you can still cash checks. But please, your reviews hurt the filmic community and must end. I love you for what you've done, but please be the anti-Rolling Stones and quit before it's too late. Thank you.

  • Feb. 23, 2012, 8:25 a.m. CST

    It's not bad... just boring.

    by Monroville

    I just watched it last night, and the LOOK of the Ghost Rider is spot-on. Some of the action scenes were pretty damn cool, but the CRANK guys are guilty of a lot of modern era directors in that they feel then need to involve the camera in the action (ie shake the camera around to make it look "real", etc), so a lot of times the editing is just terrible. I agree about Nic Cage being all over the place, though his KICK-ASS moments (such as his interrogation of the mafia guy) were pretty damn funny. Let me repeat that: pretty damn FUNNY. Is it really THAT hard to mix THE TERMINATOR, HALLOWEEN and MAD MAX? GHOST RIDER is a horror story with action elements... yet these guys get caught up in the more stupid elements of the comic (all you need is Blaze or Ketch having a back-and-forth with GR, and essentially film it like a werewolf movie, ala AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON or the 1930's original one, at least in regards to the story angle). GR does too much posing, especially in the first "action scene". The second and final act action scenes are better, but the copious amounts of talking kill the movie. It's also funny considering that David Goyer had something to do with the story. I guess this shows just how truly talented Steven Norrington (BLADE) and Chris Nolan (BATMAN BEGINS) truly are, in that they were able to spin Goyer's crap into gold.

  • Feb. 23, 2012, 8:26 a.m. CST

    BTW Harry, can we have a damn EDIT feature on the TBs?

    by Monroville

    This IS the year 2012 you know...

  • Feb. 23, 2012, 8:44 a.m. CST

    @Frodo2000 you're right and Harry let me down too.

    by ZOMBRE

    Ghost Rider was terrible. Not as bas as the 1st one but c'mon Harry! There are actually many good comic book movies. This isn't one of them. You saw this 3 times!!!!!???? I believed you dude. I wasted my money. What the readers are saying about Harry seems to be ringing true. It's too bad.

  • But if you want to get rid of your post history, just ask Nordling to stop spoiling the endings to movies without a spoiler tag. He'll ban your ass faster than a cheetah eats nachos.

  • Feb. 23, 2012, 5:22 p.m. CST

    The movie's by no means as bad as many are making out.

    by Rob Jenson

    The Rider is so well-realized he's almost worth the price of admission alone, and the movie has a nice energy and tone to it. It's just horribly, horribly written. GR's only super-powered enemy has one ability, and that is to rot flesh, WHICH GHOST RIDER DOES NOT HAVE. That makes no sense. None. It's stupid, and that's the level of the script. It really should be better, and there's no excuse for that sort of idiocy. Caveats and all, though, it's watchable, not as bad as Catwoman or the first GR. I think it was Drew McWeeney who was saying he longed for the first GR while he was watching this, and that's absurd. The frist GR was a bland, forgettable piece of trash, while this one is at least a striking, memorable piece of trash.

  • Feb. 23, 2012, 10:45 p.m. CST

    I wonder what Jerry Springer thought

    by MST3KPIMP

  • Two quite different things that you couldn't plan again if you wanted to if ya know what i mean...well probably not!

  • Feb. 24, 2012, 10:29 p.m. CST

    This could have been a pretty good movie

    by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE

    I liked the villain. He was cool. The action scenes were well-directed, I guess. But then you have the rest of the movie, like the script, which is really shitty. If the directors had written this movie it would have been so much better. They directed and wrote the Crank films and those films are superior in every way.

  • Feb. 24, 2012, 11:36 p.m. CST

    Why do his clothes return to normal?

    by Immortal_Fish

    For the same reason Ross's mustache disappears and grows back.

  • Feb. 25, 2012, 6:21 p.m. CST

    Loved this movie...

    by misnomer

    I completely agree with Harry on this one...Internal story-logic was sacrificied in favour of an awesome looking character when Ghost Rider was conceived. One too many flaws in logic to ever be the basis of a great film. The only way you could do it remotely self-serious would be to remove Ghost Riders alter-ego and have him be a creature from hell. Remaining faithful to the source, Ghost Rider cannot be self-serious on film. They tried that in the first one and it sucked. Ghost Rider 2 on the other hand, is bat-shit insane and full of awesome action. Loved the mannerisms that Cage brought to the Rider, genuinely creepy. Loved the direction and thought the effects were a big improvement on the first. Sure the story was a little hammy but I want to see more Cage as Rider after this.

  • Feb. 28, 2012, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Harry, you giant shithead.

    by EARTH

    Terrible film. Terrible. Terrible. The villain looked like some pretty boy LA model. He then turns into some pecker-head with blond dreads (who cares). The chick was not hot, in addition to being an AWFUL actress. Didn't give two shits about the annoying kid. The tone of the move was WAY OFF; the arbitrary attempts at comedy were completely out of place. On top of all of that, it was FUCKING BORING!!!! First movie was better..and that is not a matter of opinion, it was the far superior film. Thank you.

  • Feb. 28, 2012, 9:57 a.m. CST

    FYI - My last post.

    by EARTH

    This is not just my opinion. The film is being universally rejected by critics AND the general public for its goddam awfulness. I'm a big Cage fan by the way. He'll do better next time, with better material I'm sure (not Ghost Rider).

  • Feb. 29, 2012, 10:24 p.m. CST

    For those who liked the film

    by Jesse Earlywine-Pelletier

    If you have a imdb account... need your help on stomping some trolls. go here http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1071875/board/flat/195494497?p=1 or look for "To the Critics and Trolls (Simple Explanation to what you watched)" on the message board.

  • Feb. 29, 2012, 10:30 p.m. CST

    And FYI about the PG-13 Rating

    by Jesse Earlywine-Pelletier

    If your going to get it in theaters, you need a good rating for some company's to pass it through to the silver screen... Sony is good at that. But like Punisher: WAR ZONE, Wait for the DVD to give the goods. I always buy Directors/unrated cuts on every DVD I buy... if available.

  • March 1, 2012, 12:21 a.m. CST

    Love the first Ghost Rider. I just saw the second

    by Xen11

    and it was just good. Not great. Certainly not bad. Just ranging from mediocre to good. I don't know if it was just the theater I was in (if the sound was not loud enough) or if it was the lack of encompassing sound in the film itself that was lacking. It needed more boom and more oomph so it could envelope me in its world. The small moments stand out. The moments that aren't about trying to get from story point to story point in a 90 minute window. The twinkie moment. The reaction to a memory of an imagined moment in the presence of Satan. The Ghost Rider's first entrance was fucking wicked great. The mannerisms Cage brought to the Rider were very nice. This is just like most big superheros' 2nd installments (like Superman II, SpiderMan 2, The Dark Knight, etc.) in that it deals with the protag trying to ditch his superhero life/curse/persona and just be a normal human being. But something always pulls them back in and they decide that this is what they are and they embrace it. Sure at the end of the first Ghost Rider, Blaze decides to stay as the Rider, but that was because it was Mephisto offering to take it away and give him his normal life back, which meant that Johnny or Roxie would die or something bad would happen. Which also meant that Johnny was not going to fall for it twice, and so he embraced the curse. This time, its not the devil offering his life back, but a genuine offer from a less devious source. Johnny has lived life as the Rider and now knows what its like. He would like his life back. And then you get the full turn back to normalcy and the quick regret that comes with that, etc. Good, but not great. Will try to see it again to see if its any better than I first experienced it to be. Good, but not great.

  • March 2, 2012, 1:59 a.m. CST

    Saw it a second time and it holds up.

    by Xen11

    I like it a little more. It feels like a triumph in terms of getting this certain look, feel, and tone that absolutely works as a dark Ghost Rider flick. It's nothing big or grandscale. It's like a small fan film to show off its perfected Ghost Rider creation channeled via Nicolas Cage, which is a wet dream on fire. Another small moment I love that I forgot to mention before, was the one thing he said to God, what could have been his final words.

  • March 7, 2012, 7:27 a.m. CST

    It stays in my head.

    by Xen11

    After all is said, I really like this film. I saw it twice, because there was just something intriguing about it. My initial impression was that it was just good but nothing great. This movie does have this hypnotic soothing calm that puts you to sleep. I don't know if its the dim lighting in the tone and mood or the kind of cinematography or what. It just doesn't fully grab you and wake you. You are just stuck in this daze, riding the line between an alert fantasy and a dreamed reality. Which is not a bad thing. This movie sticks in my thoughts and memory even though it feels like it should be forgettable. It's like it kinda fu ks with your head in that way. There's nothing bad about this movie. The only bad would be what it is not, what you expect, which shouldn't really be how you judge a film. It's like something great scraping at the door. Like an intriguing peek, a glimpse of something you can't fully see or experience. In a way, I really love this film. Its all about the character of Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider. It's a character piece really. A symbolic journey of Blaze. This kid is Blaze's innocence that he is trying to recapture which he has lost from being the Ghost Rider full time. He's metaphorically saving himself, as Danny is a mirror of a younger version of him, when the curse was new and the fact that he doesn't have much of a choice. Johnny is, in a way, essentially the Devil's protege like Danny. Nadya represents the risk-taking daredevil in himself that made the decision to make that deal with the Devil. Johnny's decision to make the deal is essentially the mother (Nadya) combined with the father (the Devil) that has birthed the Ghost Rider. And Johnny must embrace the regret and truth of his choice to recapture his innocence/himself (Danny). He has to turn this negative into a positive and get in touch with himself again. And that's what Danny and Nadya is to Johnny. So with Danny and Nadya, they are essentially the representations of his ying and yang, his good and bad. When Danny dies and is resurrected, that is Johnny's rebirth, as a spirit of vengeance, making the Rider his own. "My name is Johnny Blaze, I'm the Ghost Rider." I feel like I love this film the more time goes by. It feels like a beloved '80s classic.

  • May 4, 2012, 9:54 a.m. CST

    WACK!!!!

    by patrick

    it like watching the 3rd crow all over agian!

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