Hey folks, Harry here with a big buncha further looks at the GLADIATOR
screening at the Metreon in San Francisco that I did this past Thursday. Sorry for the
delay in updates, but my portable computer was giving me hiccups. (actually the truth
was that I left my ‘male-male’ phone cord at home and didn’t have it to plug into the
‘Data Line’ thing on my hotel phone. So I’ve been going through withdrawls along with
some of you.

Before we get too far into these, first I want to again thank the Metreon for having
me out, and Dreamworks and Ridley Scott for making a film that they could have the sort
of confidence they had in handing the print over to a geek filmgoing crowd. Second, there
is the issue of TODD.

Yes, the talk backer extraodinaire... that ‘Iron Giant’ guy. After the screening,
about a dozen folks joined me for dinner/celebration at a place that a Seussian buddy of
mine suggested. THE BLACK CAT, down in the strip club district of San Francisco.
There was Moriarty, Segue Zagnut, Father Geek, John Robie, Junior Mintz, Annette
Kellerman, Quint v.2.0, Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr and then... of course there was
TODD.

I will not try to describe Todd.... He is the sort that when facing a ladder against a
building, he darts beneath it... as if to tempt the god’s wrath. His ambition? To be a large
black lady, and to those ends, he has currently developed lactating nipplers... from which
he offered us all a sip or two. He bought a rose for Annette Kellerman. He can instantly
figure the months, weeks, days and hours since your birthday. Todd is... simply a grand
character....

And now... Onto the reviews. The following are all positive, except for the last one
which is a ‘so-so’ review. First, I have a review that I’ll link to HREF=http://sfbay.stst.net/Reviews/Gladiator/>sfbay.stst.net/Reviews/Gladiator.
He gives the movie 4 stars and loves it.

Then we have the following look from The Oracle. His review has quite a bit
hyperbole, but then I feel the same way about Moriarty’s “best film from Ridley Scott”
statement. ahem. But hey... it obviously made the guy feel like spouting out.... so... here
it is... a pure adrenal review...

Great to meet you at the Metreon, Harry. Much thanks to you,
Moriarty(THE MAN), Dreamworks, and our gracious Metreon hosts, for this
once in a lifetime experience!

Last Monday morning, I logged on to AICN, saw the notice, immediately
stood up, walked to BART, took it to the Metreon, got two tickets
Praise-The-Lord-God-Almighty, then spent the rest of the week
speculating on which film it would be...

Alas, try as I might, no one took my invitation to go! Should I have
auctioned my ticket on eBay, or scalped it to the highest bidder at the
theatre? I definitely would have offered it to George Lucas had I known
he was there! Alas, a souvenir...

Harry, this needs to be said:

Regarding Harry: ALL derogatory slanders you've ever read about Harry
are 100% BULL-SHIT. He is approachable, friendly, polite, VERY clean
(Ahem...whoever wrote or said otherwise, you are a jerk.), expertly
knowledgeable about film,
absolutely legit (note to the Academy), and passionate. Sure he wears
bright green shoes and has fire-orange hair (way cool!)... What matters
is how he is with people. The big fella is a regular guy, with
excellent character, and that's it.

Note to Dreamworks and Universal: TEST NO MORE!!! You've got it. Now
nurture it. Do your very best, careful, non-saturated marketing. Let
it kick North America's ass beginning May 5th. And later, heh heh...The
World!
Would this be a great candidate for next year's 73rd Academy Awards?
Oh yeah...

"My name, is Gladiator."

Epic. Ridley Scott, you are a genuine auteur. Like I expressed my
gratitude to the Dreamwork's representative: It's a classic.
A lean heavyweight champion, above the ninety-ninth percentile of movies
all-time.
I began crying from the opening scene. Yeah, I'm an emotional
guy...when The Truth purely expressed hits me deep in my soul!! Such
potent, poetic imagery. Several wide-angle shots reminiscent of David
Lean.
No need to tell the story or specifics here. Looking at the big picture
though, Gladiator is a lot of film to absorb, so dense and immense, with
such intricate detail. This is prime rib, with mashed potatoes and
gravy and everything else! We will watch it again and again, to study,
to learn, all the nuances of story, of character, of setting.
Filmmakers, studios, moviegoers, this is called QUALITY. This is what
works, this is what money is attracted to. THIS IS WHAT WE WANT!!!
There must have been some hard choices on which way to go with so much
excellent, in-depth material. Ridley shows us just enough! No
over-explaining, no blatant cliches. Within the context of the story,
all the violence and blood are the truth of the matter. There are a few
moments that our subconscious responds with feelings we're not likely to
acknowledge in public.
It's not 'slick', and that is very good. Can you handle it, Amerika?

Very briefly re the actors:

Russell Crowe: This is a Man, in the greatest sense.

Joaquin Phoenix: Excellence throughout of an extremely complex
character.

Oliver Reed: Thank you, Sir. Well done, and Godspeed.

Richard Harris: He is the benchmark, in character and as an actor.

Djimon Hounsou: Great supporting character who was handled originally,
without predictable outcome.

Connie Nielsen: A tormented character, she is revealed as much
different than originally assumed.

Several other supporting characters played impeccably. We'll all come
to know them soon.

General Maximus, to you and your legion who are about to slay us...
WE SALUTE YOU!!!

Strength and Honor,

Oracle

The next look came from a guy I’ll call Historical Bob

Harry,

I was at the screening last night with my friend and my girlfriend. We had a great time
watching the movie. Thank you. The review you requested follows.

*******************************

I have been drooling in anticipation to see Gladiator ever since I first saw the trailer
and let me tell you: this movie delivers. The movie begins with the staging of the Roman
Legions against the Germanic barbarian horde. What follows is antiquity warfare at its
very best, easily one-upping Braveheart's efforts.

The movie then moves in to a, somewhat slow, back story and character development
phase, which takes a little effort. The pay-off, however, is high. Russell Crowe is
convincing and compelling as the fallen general. I was ready to drop my popcorn and
follow him right in to the mouths of the hungry tigers.

I was a bit put-off by a couple things in the first half of the film. I have studied Roman
civilization at UC Berkeley and kept thinking to myself, "Roman Legions didn't use those
weapons," "Roman Patricians didn't worship Pagan Gods during the Imperial Era," and
other nitpicks but that is all they were: nitpicks.

Once I got past my own minor historical criticisms and in to the fantastic spirit of the
movie, I was sold. I clinched my fist and gritted my teeth in the arena. I held my breath in
anxious anticipation as Maximus sought his revenge. I laughed. I cried.

This movie was great and I look forward to seeing it again when it is released.

Historical Bob

Then we have Tutnuts coming in with his look at GLADIATOR.

Hey Harry, Father Geek, Moriarty, and the rest of the AICN crew.

Tutnuts here with my review of "Gladiator" that I was fortunate enough to
see at the Metreon last week. First off, before I get to the actual review,
I want to thank everyone there for a great and memorable night. How often
does one get to see a great movie before nearly everyone else, meet The Man,
The Myth, The Legend that is Harry Knowles, and stand in line with Mini
George Lucas (I think it must have been the mini version!)? Well, last
Thursday was that night, and I and my friends that went thank everyone
involved. Now, on to my review. I had to take a couple of days to let
everything sink in, and the more I thought about the movie, the more I
enjoyed it. It's going to be really hard to write a spoiler free review,
because the movie has so many facets, but I'll do my best.

The film starts out beautifully, with a "calm before the storm" scene. It
really works well in setting the tone for the whole movie, and it ties in
well with the end. We see Maximus dreaming of his home, walking through the
fields, warmed by sunlight. Suddenly, we are back in his reality, moments
before the start of a huge battle between the Roman army Maximus leads and
the Germanic horde they must defeat. Our first views of Maximus show us a
powerful man, but one who has seen too much and simply wants nothing more
than to go home. Home is a recurring theme in "Gladiator", and Ridley Scott
does not let us forget it. The opening battle is a wake up call, and it is
tremendously powerful, not unlike the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan.
It is shot in the same ultra-crisp-yet-frenetic camera style, that is meant
to put the viewer right next to the warriors. It is graphic, but not overly
so, not violence for violence's sake. We see the weariness in the soldier's
eyes, espcially after the rush of battle is over. They look like they just
got out of work. My favorite shot in the whole movie was a panning shot of
the whole battleground, with the warring armies on both sides, and flaming
arrows and spears shooting across the middle ground. It gave a sense of the
size of these types of battles. All of the battle scenes in the movie were
very well done. Each one was different, they were spaced out well, and the
realism was great. Unlike most summer movies, however, the action scenes
were not the strongest part of the film.

The characters, writing, and acting were all stellar. Scott took his time
developing each character, adding little parts to the whole package. Maximus
was obviously the strongest character, and Russell Crowe made him even
better. He gave the character a little self doubt, and he made him a man
more than a superman. All he wanted was to go home. He didn't want to fight
anymore, just to go home and farm and be with his wife and son. I'm sure
everyone has felt something like that before (maybe not literally). As
Commodus, Joaquin Phoenix gave the performance of an already strong career.
He was good in "To Die For", but he is magnificent in "Gladiator". Usually
bad guys are people you hate, and are meant to hate. As much as you want to
hate Commodus, it is easier to pity him. You feel sorry for him. In some
ways, he is the complete opposite of Maximius, who is brave, smart, and
loyal to his country. There is one scene in particular, when Commodus is
told by his father Caesar (Richard Harris, incredible in a minor role) that
he will not become emperor, that shows us what a flawed, sad, bitter little
man Commodus is. We hate him, but we want to hug him. I must admit that I
haven't seen any of Oliver Reed's movies (after looking on the IMDB, I can
see why!), but his turn as Proximo was great. He is another character that
you hate and love, that you want to see die, and you want to see live. He
will be missed, but at least he went out with a bang.

The writing in the film was very strong, and David Franzoni and John Logan
do a great job of keeping us interested, putting in battle scenes right when
things may be starting to get a little slow. The writing is very emotional
in parts, but never too heavy handed. Even the one-liners, which sometimes
make good movies into idiotic ones, are never forced, and they aren't played
for belly laughs, but rather knowing chuckles, as if only we know what
Maximus is talking about. This film is tight, and everything ties up nicely.
There are no ugly loose ends.

As far as direction and camera work go, Ridley Scott is, and always will be,
the man. Alien? Blade Runner? Gladiator? This guy knows how to make movies,
and he is in rare form with this one. This may not be the best film he had
made, but it's definitely up there. Glad to see he can still do it. The
cinematography was beautiful, especially some of the dream sequences. As far
as special effects go, the tigers looked seamless, and the shots of ancient
Rome gave us a good feel, even if they weren't perfect (keep your eyes on
the flocks of birds to make it look better). The sound was great, and the
Metreon has some kickin' speakers to step it up a notch.

The only flaws I found in the movie (and believe me, they were minor) was
the editing. Some of the gladiator scenes (the chariot one in particular)
were a little confusing, and it was hard to figure out where everyone was
and what they were doing. Also, how did Commodus get from one side of the
carriage to the other without moving? Still, very minor problems, and the
average moviegoer will probably not even care.

All in all, this movie rocked my, and all of my companions', worlds. It's
going to be monumentally huge, and this city is filling up with
pro-Gladiator sentiment. I've told everyone I know to see it, and most of
them already wanted to. It was great of Dreamworks to show the movie savvy
San Francsicans a good movie, because word of mouth is starting to blow up.
Good job, guys.

On another note, it was really cool to listen to Harry talk for a while. I
was REALLY bummed that I didn't get to stay for the whole forum (previous
engagement), but it was still cool to hear all of the talk. I had a couple
of questions for Harry that I didn't get to ask, such as what his next
acting role would be. (HARRY NOTE: The next one to come to theaters should be
MONKEYBONE. My next one would either be GHOSTS OF MARS or SPY KIDS)
Also, thanks for the fake out last week, telling us we
wouldn't be seeing "Gladiator." Nice. And thanks for recommending "Pitch
Black", what fun eye candy. So, what's the deal with any future screenings?
Do we just have to keep an eye on the site? Do our reviews of Gladiator
increase the chances that we'll do it again? How does one go about finding
out about screenings? I would think that SF has them often, given the power
of the market (3rd in U.S.) and the relative intelligence of the film goers.
Plus, it always seemed like a good idea to preview movies for geeks like us
who would relish the chance to give our input, rather than random people
from the streets, who may not care if the movie turns out good or not.
Anyway, thanks again for a great opportunity and a great time, and Harry, I
still love the shoes!!

Tutnuts

Alright. To answer a few of those questions by Tutnuts... The reviews won’t insure
another screening in the San Francisco area, what will.... is if the studios see this as
something valuable to them. They will also recognize that it is a tremendous risk and will
only prove valuable on incredibly solid films. Iffy flicks... won’t see this treatment. As for
future screenings at Metreon? Marlene at the Metreon seemed like she was quite pleased
with the event and it sounded like she wanted to have me back again. It’d be my
pleasure.

Next up is a review from Ninja Star... Who really dug the film, except for the
‘rubber snake’? What rubber snake? Hmmmm...

Heya Harry!

Wanted to personally thank you for the wonderful screening
last night. I had a blast, as did my friend (who has been
looking forward to this one since the first images were out
there). I was the fellow towards the back in the bright
red shirt who asked about Butt-Numb-A-Thon, west coast
style. Kinda disappointed that it's not in the works any
time soon, but if you ever need a theater much like the
Alamo Drafthouse, can I recommend the Parkway? It's just
across the bay in Oakland, and it's kind of small, but very
homey. Giant couches to recline on with some of your best
friends, cheap pizza and beer -- beats the hell out of stale
chain theater popcorn, indeed -- and a wonderful staff. Just
something to keep in mind if you ever decide to take the show
on the road.

Anyhow, you said -- talk about this film! Write up a review!
And I, ever the loyal ninja star master to receive the orders
and follow them to the letter, have typed up this short
overview of my feelings on this film. I've also sent it out
to a couple of my friends as well. Here goes

--

It seems as if 2000 is going to be the year of the blood-
soaked Roman epic. First there was "Titus", the stylish
adaptation of one of the Bard's overlooked plays, and now
this -- 'Gladiator'. For those of you who aren't familiar
with the background of this film, here's the story: Russell
Crowe ('LA Confidential', 'Virtuosity') plays the Roman
general Maximus, who leads Marcus Aurelius to many victories
against the rest of the natural world. The opening scene is
one such victory against the Germans, and it's filmed in
such a way that starts off by leaving you breathless with
anticipation, and at the cry of "On my command, unleash
hell," the Roman army attacks with such intensity it makes
the football games of 'Every Given Sunday' look flaccid by
comparison. On the flip side, you've got Joaquin Phoenix as
Aurelius' son, Commodus, who just oozes sliminess and
treachery from every pore. The conflict comes when Aurelius,
weak and frail, chooses Maximus to succeed him instead of
Commodus. Threatened with a loss of power, Commodus
suffocates his own father and assumes control of the
emperor's throne -- and his first act is to kill Maximus and
his family. While Maximus escapes -- no big surprise, there
-- his family does not, and he arrives, half-wounded, to see
them hanging from the rafters of his burnt home. He falls
down, unconscious, and is picked up by slave traders. His
new duty is to fight as a gladiator in the ringed battles...

...and that's about enough as you need to get a good idea of
what this film is like. On to the specifics. The two main
actors, Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix, do wonderful things
with their characters. They bring just the right level of
enthusiasm and conviction to each of them, and they are nearly
perfect rivals. Commodus' sister is played by someone who I've
not seen in a film before, and unfortunately do not know who it
is, as the film was lacking end credits. However, she's the
strong sibling of the two, and plays it with elegance and
confidence for the most part to a T. And then there's everyone
else, who really makes no more of an impression except to leave
an Evil Dead 2 sized bloodstain upon the screen, and that's
where the strengths of this film lie. These battles pull you
in and lock you into an amusement park ride the way great
action sequences of the past have -- ie, the chase scene from
'Terminator 2'. The attack on the Death Star from 'Star Wars'.
Hell, even the chariot race from 'Ben-Hur' -- take that, turn it
up to 11, and put about six or seven of them in this film, and
you've got such an intense experience that it'll leave you
dazed when you get up from your seat.

There was only one part of this film where I was actually
taken outside of the movie and back into reality, and that was
not by any of the CG -- for once, it actually looks realistic,
unlike the CG in 'Star Wars Episode One' that was so obviously
fake and never allowed you to truly get into the film. No,
rather, my problem was with a rubber snake. Yeah, you heard
right -- this huge epic, with a budget to the skies, had to
use a rubber snake that was either animatronic or being pulled
on by strings for one of the scenes, and it totally distracted
me for a few seconds, thinking "That doesn't even look remotely
realistic." But it's a minor quibble in the midst of what is
an otherwise great film.

My friend suggested to me as we were walking outside how she
didn't have a single craving for a cancer stick the entire time
we were in there, watching this film, and what better praise
could there be than that? Seriously -- this is entertainment,
pure and simple. One could even draw parallels between this
and professional wrestling (were the gladiator games the pro
wrestling of the Roman era?) but why do it such a disservice?
My problem is, however, that people call films such as 'Reindeer
Games' and 'Pitch Black' things like "a piece of good mindless
entertainment". This, this is where I beg to differ. See, my
problem with the two aforementioned movies is not that they are
derivative, not that they've been done before, or whatever.
Because it's true, they have been, and so has almost any movie
under the sun. My problem is that they're NOT good -- that
they've been done BETTER. Certainly, 'Gladiator' owes a lot to
many of the classic epic films such as 'Ben-Hur' and 'Spartacus',
but it manages to take the tired old formula, dust it off, and
do it with panache. It takes all the ingredients it needs and
makes a spicy pot of jambalaya with them. In the case of 'Pitch
Black', however, the ingredients are there. It has the potential
to be a kick ass film. It's just never mixed to perfection, and
you're left with a sour taste of disappointment in your mouth.
The other problem I have is the gore in this film -- not so much
that it's there, but just the fact that it may be taken out by
the MPAA. Believe me when I say that it's on the level of an
Evil Dead film... well, actually, I don't think that even does
it a proper service. There's much dismemberment, much blood
flying across the screen, and even a violent animal death or
two in there for good measure. I fear that it may have to be
toned down some to qualify for an R rating -- but hopefully not.

Anyway -- 'Gladiator' is set to open the first weekend of May,
I believe. I heartily recommend it to anyone who enjoys period
pieces, action films, drama, or a total cinema immersion. I
know I for one can't wait to see it again.

If you want to give me a spy name, then just call me

- Ninja Star

This one comes from M. Lee, a mysterious figure from the Barbary Coast..

I have to admit that I've gotten a bit weary of historical epics as of late, especially of the
hype around such movies. Now with both Patriot, a seeming cross between Braveheart and Last
of the Mohicans, and Gladiator coming out soon, I wasn't too hyped about either movie.
However, after seeing Gladiator, I can see that it has the makings of another long lasting box
office run.

DreamWorks has once again done a superb job with the special effects. The tigers seemed
real, and the recreation of old Rome was amazing and breathtaking. The story line was fairly
predictable, but this was acceptable since I was just waiting for Russell Crowe to kill some more
people. There were some parts that seemed to slow down a bit too much, but this is
understandable given it is not the final cut. I was admittedly tired when I arrived for the movie, so
these parts seemed even more slow. The emperor's ranting about how he's "misunderstood"
became an annoyance to me, and I was hoping that his death would come sooner. The action
sequences were awesome. The current trend of movies seems to bank on fast blurry images with
a clear finale. While these action sequences are still exciting, I prefer clear action shots where
fluidity of movement and physical prowess are highlighted.

As for the direction of the movie, this movie did have the feel of a Ridley Scott movie.
Specific directorial traits such as the cutaway to "abstract" imagery during emotional character
contemplation (the unicorn in Blade Runner) are present in the movie. I don't care much for
these myself as they seem to break the flow of the movie. In the end, I was thoroughly
impressed and my faith in the historical epic was restored. I give this movie a 9 out of 10, not
because of its elements, but simply because I didn't feel any different, emotionally, after I
watching the movie.

M Lee

ps. - Thanks so much for setting this whole thing up.

Next we have Golda Fett, who seems... excitable...

What up H-Dawg? This is Golda Fett, checkin in from UC Berkeley, and to all you unfortunate souls
who were unable to see the screening of Gladiator last night, well…..sorry. Yes, I was at the Metreon, and
yes, this film is awesome, and yes, you will have to sit thorough more movies like Hanging Up and this
week’s newest Freddie Prinze Jr. vehicle for another two and half months before you see Mr. Crowe in
wide release, but Ridley Scott’s newest baby is worth the wait. As an avid fan of Scott, of course Blade
Runner and Alien,, to G.I. Jane (there’s still a half an hour left???) and even White Squall (was I the only
person out there who sorta liked this film???) I had high hopes, even more so after hear H-Dawg’s and
Moriarty’s rumblings about the picture. And what a ride it was.

On to the film……

First, let me, like Moriarty, begin by saying Mr. Crowe is friggin cool. That is that. His glare easily
matches Harrison’s, and his screen presence is unreal. He walks on-screen and you’re instantly assuring
the gaping, drooling, awestruck fool seated next to you: "Hey, it’s cool. Maximus is here." And as he nods
in blank agreement, Mr. Crowe proceeds to kick the crap out of everyone on screen. But not in the
monotonous Ahnold way – Crowe’s character is also sympathetic and vulnerable and Franzoni’s and
Logan’s script brilliantly plays off of Maximus’ family to use them as his Achilles heel. And I have to be
honest, despite being s Star Wars freak I kept thinking "Ewan who???" I think, a tad late, that we have
truly found the TRUE Obi-Wan.

Guys, I am not going to go into the whole thing about the supporting cast and this and that because
you have all already read about that and know that they rock – even Djimon Hounsou (he
speaks…..English!), whose role is small yet vital to the movie – who does his job and supports. But this is
Russel’s and Ridley’s film….nuff said. If you like Braveheart, you’ll definitely dig Gladiator, no doubt in
my mind. And if you don’t….go feed yourself to the lions.

So when May finally crawls around the corner, check out the catapulted tar cauldrons and the CG
tiger duel, and sigh with relief knowing that you have at last seen the movie of the year. And you will see
this movie soon……but….."not yet"……

Golda Fett

Next we have the most negative of the reviews that I have recieved, which still says
that it was ‘mildly entertaining.’ Having read this review, and having seen the film, I can
say that I could write a point by point counter on just about every problem he has with it...
And why it was the opposite for me. However... I decided there wouldn’t be much point
in it because... Well... The Chesire Cat won’t change his mind. We obviously saw two
different movies and this sometimes happens. After the event at the Metreon, I had one
friend from San Francisco tell me he really loved the film, but that he was left confused as
to how much time was passing for the characters on screen. And where everything was
taking place. The distances involved, etc... Well... I didn’t have that problem. I know
intuitively that it takes a while to travel from Germania to Spain on horseback and foot.
At the same time, I know that it takes a good long time to travel from Spain to what I
believe was Turkey and then from there to Rome. I didn’t feel it necessary to do a
‘Raiders Map-like burn’ but... that’s me. Here’s the Chesire Cat....

First let me say how great it was for you to set up the Metreon screening.
I thanked you in person (I was the guy in the ILM jacket) and I thank
you again. Please do more of 'em, all over the States.

About this review... if you post it, some people will say I'm a film snob.
No way. I don't sit in an art-house theater and laugh like a maniac every
time someone stage left wryly smiles at someone stage right, just to show
everyone else in the audience how I get the friggin joke. I don't rip
movies apart over little details, plot holes, whatever, when the movie's not
about them and it doesn't make sense to, when the movie's not taking me for
a chump.

Like most of your readers, I love all types of movies, as long as they make
me feel something. Sometimes it's trashy grade-z movies that do it for me,
sometimes it's art flicks. But I like what I'm watching to be
sophisticated, even when it's doing something simple. If it stirs me
somehow, there's something there worth appreciating. What I don't like is
simple-mindedness.

Got out of the Gladiator screening just 2 hours ago. The movie's so-so. I
was underwhelmed. Ridley Scott's best work? Far far far from it. At the
very least you've got Blade Runner, Thelma and Louise, Legend, and Alien
completely out of reach of this movie. They beat it on atmosphere,
character depth, visuals, suspense, emotional impact, production design,
things-you-ain't-never-seen-before, you name it.

Now, I *did* mildly enjoy the movie. It's got nice scenery. It's well
photographed. Sometimes the music and the action comes together to create a
real moment. It's got an opening shot that sets it apart from other movies
(but that unfortunately is endlessly repeated later on). There's some
suspense, in one (or two) places. Some of the battles, though not great,
manage to sweep you along.

But I wouldn't really recommend it. It had very very very little that I
hadn't seen before. The fight choreography? Blah. The opening scenes
looked like they were trying to show the horror of war a la Saving Private
Ryan and though they looked good, they didn't really have an
emotional/visceral impact on me. I didn't eel scared, I didn't sweat... I
was admiring the costumes and the look.

The gladiator fights? Ehh. They were fun to watch, had some cool moments,
but had nothing new. What else would you think the movie attempt to offer?
Story? Characters? Ahh... the biggest problems.

Flat-out, the worst thing about Gladiator was that the character and story
arcs were almost *completely* as I expected going in. A formula full of
formulas. No surprises. And I'm not one to sit and predict this or that
plot development. I don't usually see things coming; I go into movies as an
innocent lamb to the slaughter. Here I didn't need to "predict". I just
*knew*, outright, who each character was, and how things would play out.
Now there WERE small moments where I thought the movie was daring (the
emotional scene between old Caeser and his son, for example), but these were
promptly followed by an immediate return to boring-ass formula (the thing
that happens at the end of that same scene).

Another problem was that the bad guy comes across as a whiny, spoiled brat,
NOTHING MORE. You never get to see how bad he is as a leader. You never
even get to see how he IS as a leader. You never get to see scheming of any
sophistication. Oh sure, he has a lot of whispered conversations and
implied threats, but you're looking at your watch during them. It's like,
who cares really? Blah blah blah, talk und talk und talk, the same
oh-so-subtle pseudo-threatening chitchat rehashed seeming endlessly.
Basically, he's boring, and his shenanigans don't make him seem any more
dangerous than someone out of Melrose Place.

And what about the good guy? Does anything unexpected happen to him? I'm
not talking about trick endings and simple twists. I mean as a character.
He undergoes no interesting changes beyond what we're told in the trailer:
"the general who became a slave, who became a..."

I won't even get into the side characters. That's nitpicking. Suffice to
say they don't rescue the film and they don't hurt it any more than what I
already mentioned.

Maybe I was disappointed because I just saw Titus a few days ago, and though
I didn't understand all the high-fallutin'-Shakespeare talk, what with the
funny accents and all, I got enough of it too see that Gladiator doesn't
hold up to it in the Roman-era-scheming-and-slaughtering genre (or any
other, really).

But in the end, yeah, even with all the problems, I did have fun. Like I
said, there were moments. And certainly none of it was outright bad. It
wasn't a *good* movie though. Just... mild. Save it for a slow summer
afternoon.

Chesire Cat