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Quint types about REINDEER GAMES

Hey folks... Me here. Me introduce boy toy Quint and his um typings about Dimension Films' latest bang bang. In review by crusty sea man Quint he says, "If you like costume dramas, tragic love stories and hate Charlize's titties, then I wouldn't recommend this." and I think that quote rocks real hard upon an ocean wave pool. Genius follows.

Ahoy Constant Readers! That's right. Everybody's favorite crusty ol' seaman is back once more, this time with a look at Reindeer Games, that new action flick with Ben Affleck and Charlize Theron.

It's late and I'm tired from a long day of making Chiefy drop chum markers, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet. This movie will start arguments. Two friends will go see this flick and come out arguing the merits of this movie. One will say it's a piece of shit. One will say, "It wasn't thhhaaaatttt bad." I'm sure there will be some that will even think it's a great movie.

I'm along the lines of "It wasn't thhhaaaaaattttt bad." It's pure cheese, there's no denying that, but still.... at least it's fun cheese.

Affleck's character is con that upon release from prison falls into the arms of Charlize's character, a sweet, hot thing. Turns out her brother, played by Gary Sinise, a truck driving, gun runner wants to break into burglary, no pun intended. He has a heist planned that requires info that he thinks Affleck's character possesses. So, he breaks up the lovey-dovey couple and forces them to come along and take part in robbing a casino.

Charlize is hot throughout, of course. There's even a terrific titty scene with her in a pool. Speaking of titties, one of the surprises for me in the film were Sinise's posse of criminals, which included head bartender of the Titty Twister itself and all around bad-ass, Danny Trejo. The other notable heavy is Clarence Williams III. He's always cool, or at least as cool as the subject matter allows him to be. His Samson in Half-Baked still cracks me up. Affleck seems to have fun doing his best Bruce Willis. Not exactly his best performance, but he abides, to steal a Dude term.

Anyway, the movie itself isn't groundbreaking or anything close to it. Sure, it's cheesy. Sure, it's totally unoriginal. Sure, it's predictable. Sure, a lot of things don't work. But you know what? At least it's entertaining. It has some great moments. The above mentioned pool scene, the Dart Scene (you'll know it when you see it), the actual heist are all worth mentioning.

One of the things that dragged this movie down was the slow opening. Things don't really start to pick up until about 10 minutes into it, which isn't a way to start your cheesy action movie. That didn't really, really get on my nerves though. What did was the out of place "twist" ending. It seemed like somebody at some point had read the script to or seen The Sixth Sense and/or Fight Club and went, "Hot damn! Twist endings are in!" I have no idea about any of the production of this film, so I don't know that they did exactly that, but it sure seemed out of place. It served no purpose to the film! It wasn't there to clarify an earlier scene, it didn't even make me gasp and go "oooohhhhh." It did make me roll my eyes, though. Especially when it went into the whole "This is what I did, this is how I did it, this is why I did it, this is where I did it..." speech.

What it comes down to is pure and simple: Taste. What any movie comes down to, really. If you like Die Hard rip-offs, mindless entertainment, Charlize's titties, then this is a movie I'd recommend. If you like costume dramas, tragic love stories and hate Charlize's titties, then I wouldn't recommend this. It's a fun movie, but it's one that won't fill you with happy joy-joy feelings upon exiting the theater. At least it didn't with me.

There you have it, Constant Readers. Short and Sweet. As always, I suggest you see every movie yourself and form your own opinions, 'cause you know what they say about those. Farewell and adieu,

-Quint

Readers Talkback
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  • Feb. 24, 2000, 3:07 a.m. CST

    But...what about Ben Affleck's titties?

    by Dave_F

    Seriously though, is it just me or is Affleck one of the wimpier looking leads in quite some time? Alright, I'm only going by recent trailers, but he looked so out of place talkin' tough in the ad for Boiler Room ("sky's the limit!"), and when I saw the ad for Reindeer Games, all I could think of was the fact that Gary Senise looked like he could utterly whip Affleck's ass. Dammit, Senise should've been the lead! A Die Hard knock-off with a pretty boy as top billing? Yeah right...

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 3:41 a.m. CST

    AT LAST, AN OBJECTIVE REVIEW OF A MOVIE

    by CYBERSTAIN

    It's good to read a review by someone who remembers that everyone has different tastes. The reviewer even gives you an idea of what kind of tastes you probably need to have to enjoy this particular film.Too bad that it is rare to read that type of review of other films.Ego's get in the way of objective reviewing and the need to trash a movie that isn't liked imposes itself. Now if only real reviewers would learn this!

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 4:02 a.m. CST

    Hey, what about Lieutenant Dan's titties?

    by Nordling

    Seriously, I'll probably stay away from this one. Looks boring to me. Ben Affleck, get thee back to Kevin Smith! Charlize Theron, get thee to porn! Gary Sinise, get thee back to Tom Hanks!

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 7:39 a.m. CST

    Hey I'm first!

    by crackerfarmboy

    This Reindeer Games movie looks like shit. What is Scorscese thinking? Well at any rate let me just say look out world a new allegiance has formed. Myself, Mr. Grumpy, Niiice, and darth psychotic. Hey suck it! This is awesome we can't be stopped. Props to Mr. Grumpy for the e-mail and to answer your question ,yes you can call me Big Daddy Cocoa Butter. Hey BigLarz! and DMFC suck it! Damn you fanboys are so easily tricked. (Watch this darth psychotic and my fellow homeslices.) Hey fanboys look over there... What's that you say you don't see anything? Well if you look over here.... SUCK IT! That was awesome. I love this, hey darth p, Grumps, and Niiice let's come up with a cool team name or something: how about The Cougars. Get back to me on that. Well back to the Reindeer Games this movie is going to suck, I mean c'mon Ben Affleck, Gary Sinese, and John Ritter? Give me a break. Hey fellow Cougars Suck i... just shitting with ya. You know we boys! By the way DMFC you like Harrison Ford, well Suck it!

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 8:47 a.m. CST

    But can Ben Affleck open a movie?

    by CharlesPalantine

    Time will certainly tell.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 9:11 a.m. CST

    i think benny boy can pull it off

    by Chili Palmer

    i think affleck can open movies for the rest of his career. he is a good actor in my opinion and he can also write a good movie too. But he does have to choose his pictures correctly. i will go and see raindeer games, it looks entertaining and i'm sure it will be, but this will be a so so flick on his resume but it will make money. it time to go back to character flicks and to put the guns down for now. chili

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 9:36 a.m. CST

    Quint nailed it!

    by Cineman

    After all those negative reviews Quint finally explained just what this movie is.....mindless fun! I enjoyed the hell out of it because once in a while its fun to see movies like this that know how stupid they are but still cover all those cliches anyway. It's not out to get any awards people, lighten up!

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 10:10 a.m. CST

    Ehren Krueger=Dimension's new baby

    by DetMills

    I loved Arlington Road and Scream 3 was better than the second but it pisses me off that Harvey Weinstein always gets these people and makes them write ten scripts just because they had one good idea. Look at Kevin Williamson, Scream was great, Faculty was good, but the rest of his movies have sucked. PLEASE LISTEN: If anyone important views this website (which I seriously doubt) stop burning out all of the young writing talent in Hollywood.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 10:33 a.m. CST

    This is SAAM-SON, smarty pants!!

    by YodaButter2000

    Have you ever looked at the back of a $20 bill......... on weeeed? There's some weird shit going on in there man. Look, there's a guy... in the bushes.... does he have a gun? I don't know!! Wha.. what? Red team go! Red team go!

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 11:02 a.m. CST

    What has YodaButter2000 been drinking ??

    by E_Man

    Well, I can

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Okay....sorry.

    by E_Man

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Okay, so I can

    by E_Man

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 11:09 a.m. CST

    A comment in the name of equal opportunity nudity...

    by All Thumbs

    Do we get to see Ben Affleck's rear? Does he go shirtless at any time? I have no hopes for this movie to be anything other than a cheesy romp into rip-off land, so do the cute men get nekkid? ....you know a movie is bad (possibly so bad it's good) when you base your decision to see it on who strips.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 12:29 p.m. CST

    They should have kept the name DECEPTION

    by GEEKBASHER 3.0

    because that is exactly what this movie does to it's audience... IT SUCKS THE LIL SUGER DADDY'S TROLL's 2 INCH WEENIE!!! IT IS BAD FOLKS!

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 12:41 p.m. CST

    "YOU'RE CERTIFIABLE, QUINT!"

    by Uncapie

    Yes, this was a certified movie review by, Quint. So there.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 1:20 p.m. CST

    off the topic

    by KAmnell

    Sorry I haven't had a chance to read all the talk backs in all the groups but is anyone else wierded out by Harry licking his boogers up the corrner? Just had to mention it. Getting back to the topic at hand, this movie sounds like a hoot but it doesn't interest me enough to spend $8 or more to see it. I do like Affleck and Sinise so I will probably rent it when it comes out on DVD.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 2:23 p.m. CST

    You want chemistry?

    by crackerfarmboy

    PaddyO' my man if you want chemistry don't look to Ben Affleck and Gary Sinise look to The Cougars. That's right me, Mr. Grumpy, darth psychotic, and Niiice. We tighter than a 9 year old y'all. We stick together too so watch out. Oh by the way Paddy O' Suck It! Yeah you heard me. Well back to the movie I think... Suck it!!!! You dumb fanboys fall for everything. Peace to my fellow Cougars.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Titties?What are we,fifth graders?

    by user id indeed!

    Good Lord,people,change that rassin' frassin' poll!We all want to be on the Deep Rising ship,now let's get a different poll!I am indifferent towards Reindeer Games,as there isn't much to seperate it from any other crime thrillers out there.Except of course,Charlize Theron's..snort,giggle,tee hee hee....TITTIES!Criminy,act your age,Quint.BTW,I've yet to get my sense of humor back :(

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 4:44 p.m. CST

    No subject for you! Next!

    by Basquiat

    Please, please Crackerfarmboy, recant and tell us that you were kidding with your "allegiance" comments above. Allegiance? Wherefore?--and to what aim? Is this nefarious cadre going to sweep across the message boards, wreaking havoc and annihilating all that stand before them? Shall the rest of the world cower, grossly outnumbered, beneath the awesome power of this alliance's opinions? Is there no hope for we lone posters? Watch out, AICN devotees, there is a new order approaching, an unstoppable force ready to crush those who cry out against their opression. Yes, flee, all ye who post of your own accord, for now you tempt the wrath of pitiable simpletons with no life outside of these posting boards. Run! Away! Fly, for from this day forth posting is to stand up and be counted among the number within this fucking pathetic and wholly vain attempt to create a "life," if you will. Crackerfarmboy...your presence offends me. These boards have a purpose, and you being here ain't one of them. Is that some cool news? Sigh....back to the whiskey for Basquiat, and let the flames begin. I shall be the martyr, by which this Allegiance may set an example for all those who dare laugh at their declaration. Be afraid...

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 4:52 p.m. CST

    ...and another thing!

    by Basquiat

    You, Crackerboy, are a pathetic, simpering, contemptible fool. Thus the Drink has emboldened me against the evil Empire of these four posters! Follow me, AICN posters! Grab a bottle and we shall drink our way to freedom from these swine!

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 5:42 p.m. CST

    No interest in any of their titties

    by Geekgirl2

    Sorry. I find neither Charize or Mr. Affected attractive in the slightest. But give me some of that Harrison Ford! That's why they call me Geekgirl I guess!

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 6:46 p.m. CST

    Umm...Cougars?And go to Evil Monkey!

    by user id indeed!

    I refound my humor with Evil Monkey Productions,my other favorite site!It's friggin hilarious!You guys have to go there!Right now!H.,I know you don't like people to advertise other sites,but c'mon!I got my trademark sense of humor back because of this hilarious site!Go there yourself!You'll like it!It's run by a cartoonist named Norm.If any of you guys get Electronic Gamers Monthly,you know who I'm talking about.He draws the hilarious Hsu and Chan!He's best known for that,but he also draws these guys called The Otters,who are in occasional comics.And if you leave the site without checking out Violence Man,boo on you!! http://www.ape-law.com/evilmonkey/hall.htm.Go there now!Hurry!Oh,and if any of you superfreaks have been abducted by Bigfoot od something,send him your story.He likes that stuff.And crackerboy:The Cougars?If you're gonna act like a two-year-old and start this pseudo-resistance,at least try not to get some cliche name like The Cougars.Gee-yosh!Try some ignored dangerous animal,like a poison arrow frog,or a tsetse fly.Or better yet,don't do anything.Yup,that works.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 9:13 p.m. CST

    You people are easily amused...

    by danhelm

    Screwtape21, you are indeed stuck in eighth grade, along with most of the fanboys here. I really didnt need to see that... Since the site offended me, will that Justice League of AICN, the COUGARS, destroy this evil incarnation? Will there be some sort of COUGAR-signal to call you? Just wondering, oh mightly superheros types.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 10:16 p.m. CST

    HST

    by Darth Delicious

    Harry S. Truman had a nice set of titties.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 10:18 p.m. CST

    DO NOT POST

    by PickledPunk

    Unless youre willing to allow some lame idiots to get a hold of your email, dont post msgs to this site. I thought Harry would have kept that information confidential. Had I known that my posts would be able to be traced to my email, I would have thought otherwise. Your post is NOT secure...your opinion is NOT secure...you ARE at the mercy of every lame IDIOT who comes in here. THIS IS NOT COOL.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 10:19 p.m. CST

    What about the rest of us?

    by Darth Delicious

    Seriously, what about the rest of us fans that aren't that Hairy? Why have a new web site just for the Hairy Fans? ))))))))))) So sorry, it is getting really late and I should get some sleep.

  • Feb. 24, 2000, 11:43 p.m. CST

    Re: Punky

    by Kerle

    Oh, stop complaining. If you really wanted to be anonymous you could simply use a hotmail account or something. On the other hand, people should be willing to take responsibility for the things they say, whether in the real world or on a message board such as this. I have no problems with my email being available -- I might someday want to reply in full to some post that I wouldn't want to bother the rest of the users with, and the same could be said of a reply to one of my posts. This isn't some breach of security; it's the way things should work.

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 7:35 a.m. CST

    Miramax sucks!!!!

    by twindaggerturkey

    As a Hayao Miyazaki fan, I just had to get that in.

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 8:20 a.m. CST

    RE: the name COUGARS

    by All Thumbs

    COUGARS? Why would you name yourselves after a mediocre at best college football team from the Pacific Northwest? That would be like naming a gang of motorcyclists "The Sweetie-pies".

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Affleck IS Spidey?!?!

    by HCEarwicker

    Todays NYTimes review of Reindeer Games referred to Affleck as a John Romita character-look-alike. Coinky-dinky?

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Hey!

    by usagi

    The Sweetie-Pies are a bad ass motorcycle crew! I wouldn't talk trash about them too loud, All Thumbs, as they have junior members everywhere.

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Re: Don't post here.

    by crackerfarmboy

    There was a post recently about people not posting here and let me say their right! Not because of e-mail security but because of the danger of the new super group The Cougars. Yes for those of you who don't know it's myself (aka Big Daddy Cocoa Butter), Mr. Grumpy, darth psychotic, and Niiice. We own this board and if you can't handle that get lost. Just look what my main homey Grumps is doing on the Harrison Ford thread. We are here, we are united, and we aren't going anywhere so fear us and Suck It! P.S. Judging by some of the e-mail responses I've been getting the fears and anxieties are beginning to spread. By the way to answer your question Darth Bond; No I don't think that Father Geek is "a flaming, cross-dressing, ass worshipping homosexual."

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 11:55 a.m. CST

    At Least Frankenheimer Had The Good Sense To Cut The Erotic Back

    by mrbeaks

    What should've been the sexiest scene of the year ended up being poorly lit and unimaginatively choreographed. A real missed opportunity.

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 12:13 p.m. CST

    you gotta be kidding...

    by phaydruss

    MrBeaks..... I would be seriously worried about the mind that thought that idea up.

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 12:41 p.m. CST

    All these body parts being discussed ...

    by floob

    See, they show off the wrong people nude in these movies -- but I bet that Quentin Tarantino never thought of having Lawrence Tierney drop his pants in "Reservoir Dogs". Hmmm ... that'd be a sight ... it would make people forget all about Dennis Franz's bare ass on "NYPD Blue". Hmmm ... anybody up for being mooned by Ed Asner?

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 1:40 p.m. CST

    Oh yes, lay it on me

    by Rolande

    Jen Lopez in that Grammy "dress"...Did anyone else sprout a sequioa after seeing her? Sheesh, she should be ass-window dressing in any movie. And I want to see her wrestle Charlize and her titties in the desert. Ahhh, I go now.

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Affleck the rapist

    by Stephen Dedalus

    In REINDEER GAMES, Affleck tells Theoron that he's another guy, and has sex with her under those pretenses. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that RAPE???? Sorry, I din't mean to moralize. Maybe I'm being oversensitive. Hey, I liked A CLOCKWORK ORANGE!

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 2:29 p.m. CST

    crackafarmboy

    by Mr.Grumpy

    Your pathetic attempts to appear bigger by clinging to the shirttails of those superior to you are downright laughable. While I do consider Darth Psycotic and Niiice to be some of my closest friends on this site, you are nothing more than a pesky annoyance. You claim to have been to the Ford site, so you can see how easily I quelled the flowing rants of DMFC. BigLarz is downright scared shitless of me, for obvious reasons. You're obviously desperate for attention, and I can sympathize (to an extent) but if you continue to piss me off, I guarantee you will regret it. So SUCK IT ALL NIGHT LONG FARMBOY!!!!

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 4:27 p.m. CST

    RE: crakerfarmboy (ABOVE)

    by Tom Veil

    *ATTENTION ADVERTISERS: YOU TOO CAN REACH THIS FINE DEMOGRAPHIC*

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Both hands on the keyboards,people

    by user id indeed!

    Good Lord!There are so many perverts on this site!All these erogenous zone nicknames and masturbation euphanisms...it's like a whole different kind of message board.Hopefully a wave of interesting updates will wash this smutty board into the AICN Archives by tomorrow.If not,well,don't be surprised if you get egged by some angry old nuns,guys.

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 5:24 p.m. CST

    The babe wins out

    by IM Your Daddy

    hmmm Boiler Room or Reindeer Games ... Theron wins out. Yes, I picked it cuz of her, & it was worth it. Too bad had to put up with that wanna-be lame ass Affleck, who seems to be in every third movie out. To the all thumbs chick - yeah he shows his ass & other neckid parts. Damn him, he made me wince during a scene & I almost missed Charlize's bod. She's hot, can act too. Senise makes up for Ben asslick being there. Theron's scene in Cider House still tops out tho.

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 5:32 p.m. CST

    crackfarmboy

    by IM Your Daddy

    1st off: Nice freakin name. And B: whats w/the wanna-be homeboy speak? Listen Vanilla, yer lame-ass posse doesnt know the hood from their faggot ass. And yer "suck-it" routine is weak. little too lonely on the farm, eh? too much time w/ the critters got you a bit too obsessed with "suck"?. Lame ass anyway..... Y'all know Im still yer daddy.

  • Feb. 25, 2000, 10:36 p.m. CST

    Don't blame the writer . . .

    by cds

    He's only 27. What the hell could he possibly know about anything? This is what's wrong with Hollywood today, child writers with no experience in anything other than installing screenwriting software on their computer.

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