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Quint types about REINDEER GAMES

Hey folks... Me here. Me introduce boy toy Quint and his um typings about Dimension Films' latest bang bang. In review by crusty sea man Quint he says, "If you like costume dramas, tragic love stories and hate Charlize's titties, then I wouldn't recommend this." and I think that quote rocks real hard upon an ocean wave pool. Genius follows.

Ahoy Constant Readers! That's right. Everybody's favorite crusty ol' seaman is back once more, this time with a look at Reindeer Games, that new action flick with Ben Affleck and Charlize Theron.

It's late and I'm tired from a long day of making Chiefy drop chum markers, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet. This movie will start arguments. Two friends will go see this flick and come out arguing the merits of this movie. One will say it's a piece of shit. One will say, "It wasn't thhhaaaatttt bad." I'm sure there will be some that will even think it's a great movie.

I'm along the lines of "It wasn't thhhaaaaaattttt bad." It's pure cheese, there's no denying that, but still.... at least it's fun cheese.

Affleck's character is con that upon release from prison falls into the arms of Charlize's character, a sweet, hot thing. Turns out her brother, played by Gary Sinise, a truck driving, gun runner wants to break into burglary, no pun intended. He has a heist planned that requires info that he thinks Affleck's character possesses. So, he breaks up the lovey-dovey couple and forces them to come along and take part in robbing a casino.

Charlize is hot throughout, of course. There's even a terrific titty scene with her in a pool. Speaking of titties, one of the surprises for me in the film were Sinise's posse of criminals, which included head bartender of the Titty Twister itself and all around bad-ass, Danny Trejo. The other notable heavy is Clarence Williams III. He's always cool, or at least as cool as the subject matter allows him to be. His Samson in Half-Baked still cracks me up. Affleck seems to have fun doing his best Bruce Willis. Not exactly his best performance, but he abides, to steal a Dude term.

Anyway, the movie itself isn't groundbreaking or anything close to it. Sure, it's cheesy. Sure, it's totally unoriginal. Sure, it's predictable. Sure, a lot of things don't work. But you know what? At least it's entertaining. It has some great moments. The above mentioned pool scene, the Dart Scene (you'll know it when you see it), the actual heist are all worth mentioning.

One of the things that dragged this movie down was the slow opening. Things don't really start to pick up until about 10 minutes into it, which isn't a way to start your cheesy action movie. That didn't really, really get on my nerves though. What did was the out of place "twist" ending. It seemed like somebody at some point had read the script to or seen The Sixth Sense and/or Fight Club and went, "Hot damn! Twist endings are in!" I have no idea about any of the production of this film, so I don't know that they did exactly that, but it sure seemed out of place. It served no purpose to the film! It wasn't there to clarify an earlier scene, it didn't even make me gasp and go "oooohhhhh." It did make me roll my eyes, though. Especially when it went into the whole "This is what I did, this is how I did it, this is why I did it, this is where I did it..." speech.

What it comes down to is pure and simple: Taste. What any movie comes down to, really. If you like Die Hard rip-offs, mindless entertainment, Charlize's titties, then this is a movie I'd recommend. If you like costume dramas, tragic love stories and hate Charlize's titties, then I wouldn't recommend this. It's a fun movie, but it's one that won't fill you with happy joy-joy feelings upon exiting the theater. At least it didn't with me.

There you have it, Constant Readers. Short and Sweet. As always, I suggest you see every movie yourself and form your own opinions, 'cause you know what they say about those. Farewell and adieu,


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