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Segue Zagnut sings about GLADIATOR!
Hey folks, Harry here. God... this day just continues to depress me. I wish this was the film that I was watching tomorrow night. Don't get me wrong, the film is gonna be great. But I've been dying to see GLADIATOR and all these friggin reviews from folks are just about to drive me nuts. Well, at least we don't have too long to wait... right? Here's that crazy s.o.b. Segue with his look at what sounds like a really great movie.
Head Geek,
This is Segue Zagnut. Fresh off the why-was-the-insider-even-nominated-band-wagon, I got a chance to see Russell Crowe's next movie, GLADIATOR.
Let me start by saying Crowe is a god. Truthfully, I didn't know that before. I still have not seen L.A. Confidential even though I said I would after I loved Wonder Boys. (Sue me) And who remembers him from Romper Stomper? (why did I even see that?) This movie proves Crowe is going to be around a while. He has old school Harrison Ford quiet intensity down better then Ford. He has Mel Gibson type sex appeal of masculine good looks only ah.. younger. He commands this film. You understand him and you want to be him, even as he is tortured and destroyed. There are points in the film where we have to believe that at a moments notice anyone will follow this man to their death... and you believe it. He walks in the room and you believe it. I feel so strongly about his performance that I better stop describing or I will sound like his publicist.
GLADIATOR is great across the board. The film starts on a battle field, Crowe is leading an army of men against brutal odds into war. The landscape is covered in attacking armies and as Crowe's side rushes the front line with burning arrows and flying explosives, Crowe himself leads an almost suicide mission attacking from behind. This scene is amazing. Powerful images. Graphic. Beautiful. A perfect use of special effects as fire shoots through the sky in apocalyptic glory over the heads of the rushing army... if the ending of Episode One had been this dark and intense then no fan boys would be complaining.
And this is where the film starts. The action trough out this film is the best it ever gets. All of the gladiator fights are crazy. The best one features Crowe fighting the top ranked gladiator while four tigers guard the corners of the ring. The effects work is seamless. The fighting is incredible. The action is non-stop.
Typically, my problem with violent revenge themed films is the violence is all glory and no regret reducing it to an adolescent fantasy. This film is not a fantasy. This film keeps it real. Gladiators die. Soldiers die. Tigers die. Both sides, the 'hero' and the 'villian', are changed after their killings. The murders have relevance to the story and emotional arches of the film. He is a hero because of what it costs him not just because he is on the righteous side. The Greek inspired drama of it plays with confidence as an epic, but without the self awareness of Forrest Gump or Dances with Wolves.
Richard Harris, Djimon Hounsou, & Connie Nielsen all do fine jobs rounding out their supporting roles. Having originally won his freedom as a gladiator and now the owner of them, Oliver Reed plays both a father figure and a business man. His role is small but well used and played. Reed's sword fighting scenes in the Three Musketeers have never really been parrelled on film. I think it is likely that ten years from now I will feel that way about the tiger fight in Gladiator. It just seems perfect for Reed to have a great performance in a great movie for his last role. Thank you for that casting.
Okay, now it is not all praise. I think this movie was great. I think this movie will be an incredible hit. I think Crowe will be a mega movie star. But, I didn't love it, and the problem is with Joaquin Phoenix.
Phoenix plays the bad guy. I respect his performance, because it was committed and rounded. The problem is I didn't like the choices. I didn't believe his wimpyness. I didn't believe that he was strong enough to place himself at such risk near the end. It seems we have seen this brand of wanna-be ruler too often... week and girly... callous and impulsive. He's not just a rapist but incest too. I felt like we were hit over the head with THIS GUY IS BAD. But then again it is based on a true story and the real guy WAS bad... sadly, Phoenix pulled me out of the movie enough that some important dramatic beats didn't connect as well emotionally as they should have. And, occasionally I found myself waiting for Crowe to come back on screen.
The audience I saw it with loved it. The roar of applause and cheers were great, but the real sign of an involved crowd were the spontaneous verbile exclamations of 'Yeah!' or 'Now! NOW!' I heard a few times. This movie is going to be a monster. Do yourself a favor and put this on your must see list.
Consider This... Segue Zagnut
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Has anybody heard the score yet? Was in in the movie yet? I'm really looking forward to Hans Zimmer's score.
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...and on as large a screen as possible! But I can't believe that Zagnut mentioned Mel gibson in his review, without comparing this movie to "Braveheart".
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I love roman epics. Ridley scott better give us the goods. Call me shallow, but I haven't seen a good blood-em-up since BRAVEHEART!
I just hope they give the lions a chance. Poor devils -
I can't wait to see this.
Cynic -
This movie was incredible, amazing, great, all across the boards...but i didnt love it...God i love the reviewers on this site. I cant wait to see brutal combat. yes, thats right, i want brutal hacking and chopping, some good mindless violence even. I want george lucas to be strapped to a chair with his eyes peeled open like in a clockwork orange, and have him forced to watch 24 straight hours of gladiator battle scenes with john williams music ripping in the background and heads flying...hehe
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Word.
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A great review, SZ. It's nice to hear that there's some emotion and some depth to this one. Although "Pitch Black" was exciting, I never cared a whit about any of the characters. It seems many of the reviewers care much more about effects and action than about real drama. I'm still not sure this film will allow me to suspend disbelief, though, because the names sound so ludicrous. "Maximus?" "Emporer Commodus?" Crowe plays a General named "Big Guy" who falls victim to betrayal at the hands of "Emporer Toilet"...
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He also gets Geena Davis which is ok with me. btw, why did he hate Phoenix? I thought he was great in Return to Paradise. Another up and coming dramatic actor
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Okay, so it seems as though ol' Ridley is gonna fulfill his `I only make one great movie every decade followed by a stream of stinkers' philosophy, which means that `Gladiator' is gonna rock the house, and we'll just have to avoid anything else he makes until 2010. I think the guy is schizophrenic. How is it possible that the same man who made `Alien' in the 70s, `Blade Runner' in the 80s and `Thelma and Louise' in the 90s also made `G.I.Jane', `1492', `White Squall', `Someone to Watch over Me' and `Black Rain'? Oh well. At least the pattern is clear.
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...Russel Crowe as the Nazi bad guy in Indy 4 (please, oh please)...
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Okay, we all know this movie is gonna rock...enough with the positive reviews............isn
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Golly!
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"He has old school Harrison Ford quiet intensity down better then Ford". Instead try this. He has old school Harrison Ford quiet intensity down better THAN Ford. There, now isn't that much better? The grammar is a piss poor performance on this site. SHEESH! :) :)
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I would like to concur with the above poster, who would like to see some negative reviews for GLADIATOR. I mean, if they're out there, post 'em! As it stands, I'm gonna be walking into the theater expecting a classic. Oh, and..... "Welease Wedewick!"
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I sure am excited with all this positive word-of-mouth about the incoming Ridley Scott's GLADIATOR. For obvious reasons, just check out my user ID. I don't totally agree that Scott only does one good movie per decade. He only made two movies in the 70's, THE DUELLISTS and ALIEN, and both are good. In the 80's he made BLADE RUNNER, LEGEND, SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME and BLACK RAIN. I think all of them good at least. Of couse BLADE RUNNER is a masterpiece. LEGEND, SOMEONE and BLACK RAIN are underrated. The main fault was the studio imposed editing that cut from those movies complete scenes or a forced speed-up that ended not be the best coise for those movies, specially BLACK RAIN. That movie looks rushed. THELMA & LOUISE is great. I think 1492: CONQUEST OF PARADISE is also underrated. So there is some fictionalization on historic events! That didn't stop people from loving BRAVEHEART (which is 95% fiction), so why the complain on 1492? WHITE SQUALL and GI JANE are Scott's weakests movies to date, i admite that. WHITE SQUALL only positive things is the cinematography and Jeff Bridges. The problem with GI JANE is that, again, studio imposed editing,
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Feb 24, 2000 12:34:33 PM CST
I HAVE SEEN GLADIATOR and I urge all of you out there to make th
by geekbasher 3.0
a 75 million dollar opening!!
It rocks and definatley deserves it! okay maybe 50 -
Sure, he's too old, but screw continuity! I've felt this way ever since I saw LA Confidential back in 97, RUSSEL CROWE WOULD BE THE ULTIMATE PRE-DARTH VADER ANAKIN SKYWALKER!!!!! Blasted Jake Loyd and his way-too-young-wooden-acting presence! It's his age that keeps this from happening! Him and George Lucas's senility. Hmmm. Maybe they'll recast again for Episode 3.
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Feb 24, 2000 12:59:20 PM CST
Is it just me, or does the Segue Zagnut photo look like Tom Hank
by curley
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Picked up a scoop last night; I was tossing Jodie Foster's salad in the supply closet over at the Westin Bonaventure Hotel here in the scrumptious city of angels, and she mentioned that the Russkie's already made a tentative deal with the studio think tank for a lead in POTA. As per the latest script doctoring, Crowe will play a vicious, man/ape hybrid genetically engineered to combat the giant mechanical dung beetle which threatens both species. I have good vibes about this, ladies and gentlemen. Gladiator is only a stepping stone for our good man. Peace out and pass the brown toothpaste. - SL
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This film sounds awesome, I can't wait. I just hope they include the bits when they stand on those towers and beat each other around the head with those giant q-tips, and the part when they climb up that polystyrene wall on big elastic bands.And I just can't wait to see the eliminator on the big screen. Bring it on, big time !!
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Why are all the best actors Australian?
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Unless youre willing to be subject to complete MORONS writing you personally on your email, dont post ANYTHING to this site. A pity really. I would have hoped that MY opinion would have remained to this site alone, but somehow, my email was leaked to some MORON through this site. Bad form, HARRY.
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The early word on this movie is so hot that the studio has already committed to a sequel (just like that Scientology propoganda film). Word is that Keanu Reeves has signed to do Gladiator II: Chariots of Fire. Classic themed modern retelling of Ben Hur except that an insane Emperor Caligula has rerigged the chariot to burst into fire if it ever slows to less than 23 leagues per day. Very hair-raising stuff with a stellar supporting role for Rosie O'Donnell as the horse.
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...and it fucking rocked!! Crowe is da man!!! This movie has such an incredible mix of plot and action, and can't even articulate it...FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, there will be quite a few cuts to it to make get it a R-rating, so I'm stoked that I got to see the uncut version. -
Did ya'll see none other than GEORGE LUCAS at the screening? Waits in line for popcorn like everyone else! And NO TRAILERS!
The movie rocked! Way to go Ridley! -
...For the people who missed out on such a thrilling time at the movies. In case you haved guessed, it was *Gladiator* that was the surprise screening at Harry's SF-Metreon thing tonight._____ The sheer spectacle of this film is worth it. Every element of the picture was flawless, from the casting to the scenery to the costumes to Scott's perfectly-timed direction. The film was like a masterpiece oil painting come to life. This movie will not only be a box office hit, it will be one of the most memorable films of 2000. (More review from me later. I gotta get some sleep!-- See you at the Meet 'n' Greet)
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Geez, RipBeaver, careful what you wish for. Apparently Lucas WAS at the screening, but Lord knows I didn't see him, and he didn't exactly draw attention to himself... Only time I found out was when a guy sitting near me said that George Lucas was behind him in the popcorn line, but I found that a bit hard to believe. Huh._____ (BTW, Harry's hair glows bright orange in a movie theater, I've discovered.)
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...ehehe and the movie was un fucking believable. If this doesn't get nominated next year for an acadamy award I will kill someone.
I can't believe people actually HATED this movie. I heard someone leaving the theater call it the worst movie ever! -
"Commodus" was really the name of an emperor, although he was also a gladiator himself and not a little sissy creep as portrayed in the movie.
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Feb 25, 2000 9:22:50 AM CST
Yes you silly airplane pilot...I do like Gladiator movies...
by bluberry johnson
Let me start off this morning by giving you guys reason to hate us and Harry
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Drew's Script-O-Rama.
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http://www.script-o-rama.com/
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Feb 25, 2000 2:40:48 PM CST
MY Mini GLADIATOR review!!!! basically WHAT GOING TO THE MOVIES
by geekbasher 3.0
Hey all you sick and twisted freaks out there! I did get a chance to view Gladiator back in early October and I must say IT HAS BEEN A VERY VERY LONG WAIT INDEED! But kiddos, GOOD THINGS CUM TO THOSE WHO WAIT, believe me if we have to wade through the crusty ole shivering dried up semen like REINDEER GAMES or put caller BLOCKING on shit like HANGING UP, You know there is light at the end of the tunnel and that light is that shiny bloody OLD FASHIONED thirst for what all you cool cats will be craving for.......GLADIATOR!!
I must say, Russell Crowe has been getting alot of hype over this film and well, he might want to escape to a deserted Island with Dr. LECTOR and sip Mai Tais after this film is released, This film will propell the handsome charming but brutal actor into SUPERSTARFUCKING Status!!! Honestly I am not into that sword n sandel, let me jump on my chariot and bath with the boys kinda shit, but after seeing the BLOODY AS HELL BRUTAL FIGHT SCENES in this movie, I am well prepared to say, This is not BEN HUR or SPARTECUES and it is also not a glossed up MTV music video either! This Ridley Scott finding his third testicle and shooting his jizz across the screen! YES FOLKS, Gladiator rocks when we enter the ARENA! Gladiator rocks with the fine performances all around, Mr. Pheonix is such a prick in this film, you cannot wait for his head to be sliced off but will it be sliced off or will he be blundegend with a ball and chain?? Will Russell Crow rise as a Hero like the poster says or will his balls be skinned?
FOR ANY OF YOU GUYS that love SOUL CALIBER for DREAMCAST, Honey's you just wait!! Also the ending made everyone in the damn theatre clap like they had just seen the new Raiders or Star Wars!
This will go down as one of the best films of 2000 and will be considered a classic for many years to come!
THIS IS WHAT CINEMA IS ALL ABOUT!!
now don't you kiddies want to see it?
Watch out for the guest cameo by Tonya Harding, her fight with Russell is bloody as hell and it's the only time he really gets his ass kicked bad!!!
TRICK@! :) -
Why does everyone find it so neccessary to take the piss out of White Squall?? Personally, and i am likely to be pounded to dust for saying this, i thought that it was a great knockabout film which does not deserve the abject kicking you lot give it. Am i alone in this opinion?? Catch ya later...
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Gladiator was ok. The action scenes were pretty spectacular, and the production design, costume and cinematography were really impressive (you see every cent that went into the picture on screen), but in the end the movie just left me cold.
If you're like me and prefer the "less is more" approach with CGI, the movie can start to wear on you. (Think Phantom Menace)
The acting was as good as possible given the at times wooden dialogue- Harry made the point at the screening that the picture would probably be huge overseas, and I'm sure it will be, especially if it's subtitled as opposed to dubbed, as the character's words read much better than they sound. (the movie drags at almost every point where people are just talking).
The development of the secondary characters was fair to horrible- especially the two other gladiators, and as for the principals- frankly I was never really able to get a handle on where Commodus was coming from (although perhaps that was the point) and much of the motivations and actions of the rest seemed cliched.
Derek Jacobi has a small part as a roman Senator (he must have a thing for togas) and I could barely contain myself when- in one of the better quiet scenes- Commodus is telling a story about the emperor Claudius- I thought for sure old Derek would come around the corner stuttering out the rest of the story.
Also, in many of the gladitorial scenes, food is being sold/handed out to the crowd and I got to wondering if there would be a vendor named Brian selling wolf's nipple chips.
Second to lastly- for those of you who saw Braveheart and assumed the practice started with the Scots, the Romans, too "taught young men to drop fire on people."
Lastly, I'm not really sure what the movie was about (besides 2 and 1/2 hrs). It was certainly rife with possibilities, but in the end I don't know that any of them were satisfactorally explored.
p.s. to those who saw it- anyone notice what became of Maximus' dog after the battle?
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He is a Kiwi (New Zealand)!
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A true sneak preview. I've been troubled since Tuesday, when I found out too late about the screening. I wrote each person who mentioned on this site that they might have an extra ticket. No luck. I checked Ebay. Not even a bidding war. I wrote Harry and begged for a ticket. Even Harry couldn't help me. I had to take matters into my own hands. I showed up 45 minutes early for the 7 pm screening at the gargantuan 15-theater Metreon with little more than a half-baked scheme. There was already a line of people standing two-by-two running the length of the building, looking more like they were about to board Noah's Ark than waiting to enter for the screening of the still unknown movie. I stressed. I bought a ticket for a 7:10 showing of Scream 3 - a bad movie I'd already seen, but the only one with a similar start-time. As I got in line, another person by himself fell in line behind me. Hopeful that he had an extra ticket, I struck up a conversation. He explained he'd gotten the ticket from a friend and the friend had decided not to come BUT KEPT THE EXTRA TICKET!! I didn't luck into a ticket, but at least if I got in I wouldn't be stealing a seat from someone who had gotten tickets on time. Then the guy showed me his ticket - it looked NOTHING like mine - it was plastic, in the shape of a credit card, with aint-it-cool-news printed across the back. My paper Scream 3 ticket suddenly felt more than inadequate. I was doomed. I explained my predicament to my line mate and told him of my intentions. I asked him how his friend had lucked into the ticket (the guy had never heard of AICN). I learned his friend worked for the Theater and my line mate worked downstairs for Metreon's affiliated mall. "cool!" I said, "where do you work?" He smiled and responded, "loss prevention - security." But he didn't bust me - he didn't think I'd get in, but he said it wasn't his beef. My first lucky break. They let people into the theater 50 at a time - I was in the fourth wave. First they checked tickets at the main gate - my Scream # pass got me through, barely. But I knew I was done as soon as I went around the corner - two more people checking carefully for the special tickets at the entrance to theater 11. I walked up and tried to play dumb - the attendant explained exactly how to get to theater 4 to see Scream. I looked at the guy, prayed for FightClub Karma/screw- The-Man-solidarity to carry me through and mumbled, "c'mon man - there's an extra seat - I know it!" He smiled and waved me through. I walked down the hallway, into the light, and there was Harry, smiling. I'd made it. The theater was a small, steep stadium - Harry's seat was staked out about seven rows back, dead center four rows up from ground level. I found a lone seat 5 rows directly behind him. He chatted with about 10 people that stood by the right wall with bemused smiles on their faces - they KNEW. After a healthy wait, Harry paced to a microphone on the right side of the screen and talked for a minute about how nice it was to be there. He said if we had anyone to thank it was Moriarity for working so hard to get this whole thing put together. Then "And blame Moriarity if the movie's no good because he's seen it, and he says it's the best RIDLEY SCOTT movie ever made." The audience erupted with applause and sideways comments to friends - "GLADIATOR!" We were geeky enough to know. Harry sat and the movie began. The movie - Ridley Scott is a God. Russell Crowe is a BadAss God. If you have any doubt now, this movie will erase it. If you've seen the preview, you can pretty much guess the movie is divided into three parts - The Maximus(Crowe)-led battle in Germany, Maximus' fall from favor and rise through the Gladiator ranks, and his return to Rome to face those who betrayed him. The battle with the Germans is the single greatest battle sequence I've ever seen. Scott is a master of focusing on one character while giving a sense of the epic scale of a Roman attack with a mix of wide camera shots and racing shots keeping pace with charging horses. He gets a little heavy handed with an OliverStone-ish strobe effect when focusing on Maximus, but it just reminded me of Lucas' Normandy battle scene and it's focus on Tom Hanks - it's literally awesome. Maximus' subsequent fall on hard times is done well - especially the relationship between the Ruling Emperor Caesar (Richard Harris) and his son Commodus, but it doesn't compare with the second half of the second act - Maximus as gladiator. There is a shot as Maximus enters his first area that is pure Scott - Crowe walks under a blood red knitted awning , moving aside pieces of fabric - the light and the sensuousness of the shot teleported me to Blade Runner, as Harrison Ford walks through a street market in the same way. It oozes badassness. The fights and gore are worthy of being mentioned alongside Braveheart. When the action moves to Rome, the scale turns epic and raw for Coliseum battles and intimate and polished for palace intrigue. The emotional sequences lack heart, but this is not so much a story about inner turmoil as one man's journey through the most interesting parts of the Roman Empire. The fights are on a grander scale then the second act and don't disappoint - I found myself totally immersed and excited - only a few inevitable wide CGI shots of ancient Rome and the Coliseum momentarily interrupted my suspended disbelief. You will see this movie. It will take you to ancient Rome. You will worship Maximus along with the masses. It's inevitable. I loved it. Afterward, Harry got up front again and talked for a while about the whole process of bringing it to San Francisco. Basically, the people at Metreon are cool enough to want him and his fans there and the Gladiator folks were proud enough to subject the flick to AICN scrutiny. Harry answered questions - The TV show is still in the works, Harry wants it to be of a quality that can compare with the website before he commits. Harry says the site is going to change dramatically for the better over the next year, with more sound and video, though stay text-centered. And Harry will be on the Radio - as in have his own show!
Harry also mentioned that the Metreon called HIM and invited him to come up and screen whatever he wanted in their theater. Harry said he was originally considering bringing a few of his own 8 millimeter movies for us to see before the Gladiator opportunity came together. When asked when he would do a Butt-Numb-A-Thon in SF, Harry diplomatically responded that the event takes a lot of work and he can't see taking it out of Austin any time soon - so don't stress too much, Reverend, Harry still loves you. Harry also explained that he will be back on Ebert if he is invited and hopes the two of them will screen more movies that they disagree about. When asked if he would get into screenwriting, Harry said he already writes for the screen, he just hasn't written anything good yet. Final thoughts on the movie: It's not Blade Runner it doesn't get you inside the conflicted mind of it's hero - in fact - the hero is a very straightforward man. As someone mentioned above, this is a very well done studio movie, not subversive in any way. It's what a popcorn movie should be. For you blood freaks out there - don't get too excited - the audience was told that last nights version hadn't received an MPAA rating yet, so the comments on the gore stem from that comment. I didn't find the gore any more violent than Road Warrior or Braveheart. There was enough, but there won't be so much you'll go home wondering what the MPAA was thinking.
Since this was a test screening of sorts, I want to give my one minor criticism for the editors - there's a scene between Commodus and his sister in the beginning that takes place in a carriage. During the dialogue, Commodus moves from his bed to his sisters. But he appears to teleport - there's no shot of him moving across the carriage! The only flaw, other than the CGI shots, I found in the whole movie - this film is 9.5 out of 10.
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Thanks to everyone who shared there experience seeing this film. For me, this will be my Phantom Menace experience (which while very enjoyable, didn't measure up to the first three). I am the TOTAL Ridley Scott fan - I saw Alien twenty times on its original run and midnight showings on big old fashioned huge movie screens. Bladerunner is another top favorite, with his other films falling lower down the scale mostly due to subject matter rather than execution. I have been salivating for over a year when I first heard the combo of Rome, Ridley and Russell! My FAV three subjects in one film, I think I will have to bring tissues to clean up the cum. And I will probably buy multiple tickets to see it several times the first day. AND finally - get a clue -
Maximus was used in ancient Rome the same way our Anglo-Saxon names like Brian are used today - to donate a positive attribute. And Commodus was a real Emperor, the son of Marcus Aurelius. AGH the wait is going to be horrible.
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