Herc Strongly Endorses MTV’s Slippery, Brutal, Bikini-Intensive CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF EXES!!
MTV’s “The Challenge” is rivaled only by “Big Brother” as my favorite reality show. It’s essentially “Survivor” with younger, funnier contestants and more sex and alcohol. Forcing players to team up with their former showmance partners this season constitutes a certified basic cable masterstroke.
Notes on tonight’s excellent “Battle of the Exes” premiere:
* The teaser suggests the finalists will eventually be flown to a brutally cold destination, but things kick off in the sunny Dominican Republic.
* “My boyfriend is going to kill me,” announces one female contestant in the premiere’s teaser. Some contestants are much more keen to fornicate with their exes than others.
* Tyree looks like he pounded himself into peak condition while Vinny wanders around like a massive tub of goo.
* The lesbitatic Rachel and Aneesa make up the only same-gender team.
* Brawler C.T. and cancer survivor Diem apparently had not spoken or friended each other since the demise of their year-plus relationship. “I thought I was going to marry him,” Diem recalls. Even though she dumped him, she’s still furious about him putting the bone to another contestant during a subsequent Challenge.
* By contrast, “Real World: San Diego 2011” vets Nate and Priscilla were never really a couple at all, or even close friends. “Nate is here with me because we made out once for all of 10 seconds,” she posits.
* Fortysomething Mark Long, from 1995’s very first “Road Rules,” is back despite the long-ago announcement of his retirement. (He remains in far better condition than most of the younger contestants.)
* The season’s first competition calls on the execs to strip down to virtually nothing, then use their hands to scrape honey off each other.
* Gorgeous Heather Marter, who broke up with fellow “Real World: Las Vegas 2011” vet Dustin Zito subsequent to the reveal that he had a ton of gay sex on the Internet, got me a tad turgid during the honey competition.
* The competition is fraught with suspense, as contestants covered with slippery honey are obliged to navigate a long narrow beam situated stories above the Atlantic.
* The elimination competition, which looks like something filched from ABC’s “Wipeout” set, is less of a team competition. A girl is the first to fall.
10 p.m. Wednesday. MTV.
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Jan. 25, 2012, 4:01 a.m. CST
Is it really gay sex if you're just pulling your todger? That's what I've been telling myself anyway.
Jan. 25, 2012, 4:37 a.m. CST
his name is Dustin Zito not Justin...and he was hooked up with Heather Marter during that season not Heather Cooke
Jan. 25, 2012, 5:11 a.m. CST
that little black girl is such a dirty jew, in her real world season and on every challenge shes on, willow smith puddle head
Jan. 25, 2012, 6:34 a.m. CST
I haven't watched Real World for yeeeears, but I'm a sucker for these trashy *versus* shows. And, in my defense, it's the only *reality* show I watch, unless you count The First 48.
Jan. 25, 2012, noon CST
Jan. 25, 2012, 2:10 p.m. CST
Jan. 25, 2012, 7:21 p.m. CST
by Mike Fornes
My life was basically gripping onto a log while fighting against centrifugal forces, while my ex and a group of morons looked on.
Jan. 26, 2012, 3:52 a.m. CST
WTF were you wachting Herc? There was hardly any bikini shots in this fucking trailer you blind ass idiot. You got paid to promote this turd?
Jan. 26, 2012, 11:53 a.m. CST
I'm probably going to get banned for this but WTF? It's a reality show. It's like the antithesis of everything this site is supposed to be about.
Jan. 27, 2012, 10:49 a.m. CST
This site is not about what you think is cool, but rather what Harry & Co. think is cool. And Hercules loves his bikini-clad babes and their boneheaded boy-toys getting it on & battling it out.
Jan. 28, 2012, 9:18 p.m. CST
Its great to see this show finally get some respect. Its completely trashy...but I'd take this over Jersey Shore or the Kardashians ANY day. This is actually one of the few reality shows that I really look forward to.
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