Movie News

WTF Hollywood: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

Published at: Jan. 22, 2012, 9:41 a.m. CST

Muldoon here with this week’s WTF HOLLYWOOD and boy do I have an “interesting” (i.e. bizarre as hell) film for you to check out today. I present to you one of the creepiest, most outrageously insane movies to come out of the 80’s: GARBAGE PAIL KIDS: THE MOVIE. I’ve gotten so many incredibly great suggestions from many of you fine folks ranging from some obscure sci-fi flicks to incredibly well known comedies. I’d also like to point out that by no means am I hating on the fact that Hollywood takes these risks (or at least used to), because without those risks we’d never have some truly crazy “ain’t it cool” worthy movies actually take off and make sweet love to our eyes.

BACKSTORY: In 1985, the TOPPS COMPANY began pumping out trading cards showcasing disgusting or mutated kids doing some crazy nasty things as a way to “alternatively” cash in on the success of the Cabbage Patch Kids dolls at the time. Hey, I get it; they’re out to make a cheap buck. Sadly that buck should’ve stopped there, because it led to what I consider one of the most head-scratchingly bizarre films ever made.

So the film’s plot… Just kidding, there was no plot. The movie starts off with a three-minute heavy intro akin to the first bit of STAR WARS where we’re out in space watching a spacecraft fly by. Bam! Next thing we know we’re in an old antique shop where a garbage can sits in the middle of the room clearly full of whispering Pail Kids. How did it get there? Who knows? Who cares? Not the filmmakers or the audience apparently.

Jump forward to find our teenaged protagonist of the film, “Dodger” played by a young Mackenzie Astin (IRON WILL!) running from a small group of thugs who seem to be twice his age (made up of two men, a manly woman, and a very 80’s valley girl type cutie). It’s never really made clear why the head bully hates this kid so much and with so much vigor (something to do with teaching him a lesson?), but sure I’ll go with it.

  

It becomes obvious that Dodger has a puppy dog crush on the 80’s valley girl type chick in the gang who’s named “Tangerine.” I can only assume her parents were organic farming hippies? No, maybe it was just the thing to do in the mid-eighties, name yourself after fruit. Either way, it works and she’s pretty smoking hot in the film, so you really can’t blame the kid for getting googly eyes at her. While he’s working at the antique shop from earlier he lures Tangerine into the store and tries to sell her things she can make into clothes (as she tells him she’s an aspiring fashionista who makes her wares and sells them at clubs).

The small gang (though “gang” feels misleading here…) burst through the door and attempt to give poor Dodger a beat down for macking on Tangerine. In the craziness the garbage can from earlier gets knocked over, thus releasing the Garbage Pail Kids onto the world…

The rest of the film wraps around Tangerine using Dodger’s supposed sewing skills to make clothing for her, which she then turns around and sells. The odd thing here is that what could have been a crazy adventure story with interesting (alien?) creatures running around causing chaos turns into Dodger building his own sort of sweatshop down in the basement of the antique shop and working these mutant kids to the bone.

  

Trust me, there’s no way of detailing the amount of “WTF?” in this movie, so here’s a short list of a few examples:

- There’s a very Sharon Stone BASIC INSTINCTS moment when Dodger is showing off his jacket to Tangerine… I swear to God it’s in there and so inappropriately grand for a kid’s movie…

- The owner of the antique store is a magician who can do things like magically and instantaneously change Dodger from being in soaking wet clothes to nice clean clothes.

- Remember that, because later in the film Dodger takes a bath in front of all of the Garbage Pail Kids and the magician. Think about that, not only is that disturbing on the surface, but the damn antique owner could have just zapped him clean and chose not to???

- Awkward Pepsi product placement galore.

- 36 minutes into it, the Garbage Pail Kids burst into song and dance, once. That’s the one and only time in the movie that that happens. That’s like sitting at bus stop when the guy you’ve been sitting next to for an hour suddenly screams about the apocalypse, then gets quiet again until the bus arrives.

- Horrifying creature design. It’s like they’re trying to give kids (and adults for that matter) nightmares with the design of the actual Garbage Pail Kids. Some have movable facial joints while others have a much more severe case of dead-eyes. (I’m talking dead-eyes that puts POLAR EXPRESS to shame bad). Creepy…

- One character, Ali Gator, gets into a bar fight after gnawing on a biker’s foot. It all ends with both sides making up over beers… So this alligator alien kid literally gets shitfaced with a bunch of bikers. Awesome.

- The lovable “Greaser Greg,” played by the incredibly talented Phil Fondacaro (WILLOW/LAND OF THE DEAD/SABRINA, THE TEENAGE WITCH) occasionally pulls out a switchblade, like when he’s stealing a hotdog from a woman…

By no means is that an adequate summarization of the film; I’m still just trying to process it myself and don’t see that ending any time soon. I personally can’t imagine what the pitching session must have gone like. “So those gnarly trading cards… Let’s just shoot a bunch of random stuff and call it a day.” “Sounds good. Now I have to go take a bath in money.”

And on August 23rd of 1987 the bomb dropped on 374 American screens and grossed 1.5 million of it’s rumored 30 million dollar budget back and marked the last movie director Rod Amateau directed. It’s a well-known rumor that before production on this iteration of the Garbage Pail Kids, special effects makeup guru John Carl Buehler was originally going to take the reins and make it into a full on horror flick where the Kids “would have spawned from radioactive sludge that had found its way to a garbage can filled with broken dolls, turning them into serial killers.” To be fair, I think Amateau did a fantastic job (unintentionally so) of creating something equally disturbing as Buehler’s take on it.

If you haven’t seen the film, I strongly urge you to at least give it a chance, not on the fact that it’s a severely underappreciated and wonderful film, more of like “Hey, you’ve never had a smore before?” This film is batshit insane and I love the fact that it exists. While I love TROLL 2 in all its glory, I think this film could put up a good fight on the level of “WTF???” It’s up on Netflix Instant, so if you’re feeling adventurous – check it out. Or here’s a link to buy the flick if it’s screaming out to be added to your DVD collection

 

UPDATE: So a reader named Ivan shot me a head's up that it's actually Katie Barberi's ("Tangerine") birthday today, so that's kind of bizarre timing. Happy Birthday, Ms. Barberi!

 

 

As always, feel free to shoot me any ideas you might have for a future WTF Hollywood column or if you were at all a part of the production on this film and feel like chatting – I’d love the opportunity to chat with you!

 

- Mike McCutchen

“Muldoon”

Mike@aintitcool.com

  

Readers Talkback

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  • Jan. 22, 2012, 9:47 a.m. CST

    first

    by Philip Tolken

    any of those pics remind you of harry?

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 9:53 a.m. CST

    man ...

    by Beniffer

    The rental store I worked at in VHS days had this .. I never watched it. I saw it last year and just could not watch it all the way through. I hate this kind of film. HATE ..

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Call it "the 80s cocaine effect"...

    by BurnHollywood

    A lot of movies got green-lit thanks not so much to their merits as to an executive producer's narco-optimistic haze. Hell of a drug.

  • And for a brief instant I remember the horror of this film. I think it's one of the reasons I have such a fear of vomit. The shitty things we watched as kids....man...

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 9:59 a.m. CST

    The nerdy one with zits looks just like Josh Gad

    by Toe Jam

    And I used to fucking love the Garbage Pail Kids cards, but never saw the movie. I guess even as an 8-year-old I got the sense it was fucking shit, though that didn't keep me from loving "No Holds Barred" and "Twins."

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10 a.m. CST

    The difference between this and Troll 2.....

    by notcher

    Is that I enjoyed Troll 2's badness while I just couldn't take watching the Garbage Pail Kids Movie. There's bad, and then there's BAD, Garbage Pail Kids is the latter.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Yep, kid of the 80s who collected the cards, here.

    by Nice Marmot

    But even THEN I couldn't bring myself to check it out . . . And I came up w qa more current not too long ago: Hanging Chad.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:02 a.m. CST

    the cards were fun to collect in 1985 but...

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    ...boy did it piss off our teachers and parents! but it was cool anyway. got old real fast though. none of us one ever saw the movie as kids. from the outset we knew it'd be dumb. kids are *VERY* smart, Hollywood. they will call you out when something's fake, or junk, or worse, insulting to their intelligence. that's why your products aimed at kids fail. you don't take kids seriously or respect them. and between selecting what's good and what's bad, kids will win over adults any day.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Poor Anthony Newley

    by dukeroberts

    He was really slumming big time.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Check out Nostalgia Critic.

    by vadakinX

    He did a review of this film a while back. http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/5300-garbage-pail-kids

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Poor Mackenzie Astin

    by dukeroberts

    It must be difficult following in the footsteps of a Goonie, identical cousins and Gomez Addams.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:10 a.m. CST

    Kind of liked this movie

    by tangcameo

    Sister was deep into CPK by then. Had two and was one of those who mailed away to the company to officially have her dolls renamed (seriously makes you wonder how many pedos applied for the mail room jobs there). I think even my parents laughed once or twice because we were all sick of CPKs.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:12 a.m. CST

    batshit, bugnuts

    by phifty2

    giggle.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:16 a.m. CST

    My next choices for WTF: Solarbabies (1986) or Megaforce (1982)

    by tangcameo

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:17 a.m. CST

    The 80's. Amyone remember the Pogo Ball?

    by phifty2

    I'm surpirsed they didn't make that into a movie. Like Solorbabies but with Pogo Balls instead of roller blades.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Troll 2 is far more quotable

    by P

    You can't piss on hospitality! I won't allow it!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Tangerine

    by Happy Killmore

    Evidently still working in telenovelas. Still pretty hot!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Beaver

    by John Baker

    in a PG rated film? Amazing.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:29 a.m. CST

    The Basic Instinct moment is at....

    by Baron Von Penguin

    the following thread on youtube "Garbage Pail Kids The Movie (5 of 12)" at 3.53 seconds. On DVD you might see something but sadly all you see on youtube is a pixelated possible pussy

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Actually scratch that last post, this is better

    by Baron Von Penguin

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pauWSEjDh8 Go on you pervs, get in there and have a butchers!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Neon Maniacs

    by donkey_lasher

    I've seen this, but I was probably about 15 when I did. I can't for the life of me remember the plot, but it was bad.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:48 a.m. CST

    Another film I hardly remember

    by donkey_lasher

    It was about some bloke with a wrist computer, vs magic or something? A science vs magic film. Anyone have an idea what it was called?

  • Some series of GPK had flipbook animations on the back. Too cool.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:54 a.m. CST

    @donkey_lasher

    by Baron Von Penguin

    I remember that piece of shit ha ha! There was some scene on a subway train I think. My mates and I went through a summer of renting all these dreadful videos out in the 80s that had great covers. Bronx Warriors, Class of Nukem High, The Vindicator, Mega Truck (or something like that).. They all had great video case art. Ahh the 80s, shit quality video tapes that when playing were muffled and bent at the top of the screen

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Phifty I remember pogo ball

    by Autodidact

    I never had one but I used people's at school. I was seriously good at that shit.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Slogan for pogo ball should have been

    by Autodidact

    "When it breaks, so do your ankles".

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11 a.m. CST

    Barfin Barbara spinoff movie is needed.

    by UltraTron

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Absolutely creepy

    by alexander

    can't decide which is more disturbing, more thoroughly chilling: is it these here above, or David Liebe Hart's creations?... bbrrrrrr.....

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:10 a.m. CST

    ghoulies 2

    by gaygoonie

    wtf

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Barfin Barbara 2: Barf it up Bitch!

    by UltraTron

    40% Barfier! BB2. This summer Barfin Barbara faces her greatest challenge. I figure the plot deals with her lack of health insurance and failing constitution. Whereas the the first Barfin Barbara movie dealt with pure site gags; the second gets more into Barabara's personal life, and her degenerating health. By the end of the film her almost nonstop barfing death throes send shotgun wall covering blasts of 3D barf into the balcony. It's filmed in Barforama.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:15 a.m. CST

    is it irony?

    by Bouncy X

    that they got a movie but the cabbage patch kids never did? considering how many 80s products and cartoons had movies during that time, its surprising the patch kids never had one. i mean even the freakin huggabunch dolls got their own live action movie, albeit a tv movie. lol

  • The art and humor on the old cards really holds up. There are still certain GPK concepts which make me wretch when I think about the depiction on the card (anything where a kid has holes through his body, mainly).

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:17 a.m. CST

    I mean, make me "retch"

    by Autodidact

    which is a good thing when you're talking about GPK.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:21 a.m. CST

    She's wearing pantyhose

    by Adelai Niska

    Her legs are a different colour than her skin.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:30 a.m. CST

    THANKYOU Muldoon

    by chronicallydepressedlemming

    I've been trying to tell my friends this movie really exists for some time, and I was just given weird looks. Just to point out, they didn't even think the Garbage Pail Kids were a real thing, let alone the movie.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Best new column

    by Superponte

    Good job Muldoon! I loved GPK as a kid...because I was a stupid kid. I recently rewatched it and was SHOCKED by how bugnuts insane it is. Have a few beers, and watch this, followed by forbidden zone. Makes for a good evening.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:34 a.m. CST

    alan grant lives: YES!

    by Superponte

    There is absolutely a Garbage Pail Kids vibe to Liebe Hart's creations!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:38 a.m. CST

    How strange, this just happened to be on TV last night.

    by DementedCaver

    ....and I can't believe that it really sucked that bad, I felt ripped off watching it for free. Like it has stolen 5 minutes of my life that I will never get back. That was seriously a bad movie, at least the garbage kids makeup was pretty cool.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:43 a.m. CST

    @ donkey_lasher

    by I am not a number

    Though not much to go on, that sounds like THE DUNGEONMASTER (AKA: RAGEWAR), starring Richard Moll as the villain. It is a group of individual segments all directed by different, um, directors (including Charles Band). I recall most of the obstacles being overcome by the hero punching a few keys on his wrist computer. I used to think this was awesome when I was a kid. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0CPWZLu0Ag. Also had a segment where the villains were played by the band WASP. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd36mSbmNcE

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Adam West on Family Guy Loves Garbage Pail Kids!

    by Rob

    Classic Adam West! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nrmc1Z-_eE

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 12:07 p.m. CST

    @autodidact

    by theBigE

    They have a new series of cards available - I saw some packs at Target just last night. I was looking at the new versions of "Wacky Packages" which were my favorites in the late 70's.

  • Was hiring this guy.Muldoon if you continously crank these out, every week...you will be the best feaure of this site.I say go for Chopping Mall.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Time to Vent

    by evildeadgeorge

    When I was 6 years old(1987) I was obsessed with He Man and Garbage Pail Kids. For me, the 2 biggest events of that time were the movies of each being made and released. It was like the Itchy and Scratchy movie of it's time. And I wasn't able to see either. GPK never showed in a theater near us, and He Man was anti-Christian(?). When He Man came out on video, I saw that, but GPK eluded me for years. It was like it never existed. No video store carried it, and one Saturday afternoon, the TV Guide said it was on, and it didn't air then either. I waited years, I was about 16 when I finally saw it, and it was FUCKING TERRIBLE. What you forget to mention Muldoon is the fact that for the entire movie they basically promise more Garbage Pail Kids, over and over, until you find out that all of their friends have literally been MURDERED. Seriously. For being ugly. The budget was about $300, and it seems like ran out before they got to the ending, and just gave up. Ughhhhh.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Thanks I am not a number!

    by donkey_lasher

    Ah, good old Charles Band. That sounds very much like it. There's probably loads of other films that I saw back then and have since forgotten. And yes, the movie art was the best thing about those films. Ghoulies and its sequels, The puppet master series... And a shout goes out to Deadly Friend, directed by Wes Craven.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 12:25 p.m. CST

    In Ten Years - WTF Hollywood: Battleship

    by Orionsangels

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Here it is

    by donkey_lasher

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQj2GKwKp5w

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Here's a somewhat fascinating interview with the director!

    by ehh108

    http://www.normalpeoplelikeyou.com/article_assets/garbagepailkidsinterview.htm It's actually a really interesting read.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Fucked Up Blind Kids

    by MooseMalloy

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Hey I defend the cards! It was big during recess and lunch!

    by Onin Solstice

    I remember hiding the cards from my teachers and parents, fearing how they would react to vomiting babies, but turns out they didnt care.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 1 p.m. CST

    Don't just blame cocaine, mostly blame:

    by awardgiver

    THE PRODUCERS! "We'll make a sure fire flop! Money in the bank!"

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 1:06 p.m. CST

    adelai is right-sorry, hodge. She's definitely wearing hose.

    by top_cat_james

    Cootches were still in bush country back then.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 1:12 p.m. CST

    LOL this was great!

    by IPRAYTOCROM

    turns into Dodger building his own sort of sweatshop down in the basement of the antique shop and working these mutant kids to the bone.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 1:25 p.m. CST

    fun trivia fact about the GPK movie:

    by zom-bot.com

    the portrait from the original TROLL movie hangs in the antique shop they hide out in. this was on tv just yesterday morning and i got stuck watching it wondering HOW i ever liked it as a kid. then i remembered i didn't. even then it was just an uncomfortable movie, and not in the way a garbage pail kids movie should be. anyway, the husband/wife witch painting from troll hangs in the store's back room. i verified my suspicion through IMDB. and as it turns out, it was going to have the same director as TROLL but he wanted to make the kids scary(er) and actually be serial killers- make it a true 80's horror movie...but they rejected that. instead they ended up with the uncomfortable mashup of kid and adult fare in this mess...

  • but i just got too excited and had to post about the TROLL painting..lol

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 1:40 p.m. CST

    the nerdy one grew up to be Harry, right?

    by zom-bot.com

  • Literally? So he ACTUALLY gets shit on his face with a bunch of bikers? Gross!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 1:50 p.m. CST

    @ehh108

    by Muldoon

    Hey man, that really was a pretty cool interview with Amateau. Thanks for linking it!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Old school AICN readers may remember...

    by rev_skarekroe

    ...a Talkbacker that was constantly demanding this movie be released on DVD, and for some reason thought Quentin Tarantino should use his Hollywood leverage to make it happen. Wonder what happened to that guy?

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 1:53 p.m. CST

    They'll remake it as a spoof comedy in 4 to 5 years

    by Ricardo

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 1:59 p.m. CST

    @danicus What channel was Heartbeeps on?

    by tangcameo

    Maybe Muldoon gets that movies-for-TV catalog that all the channels seem to get each month and they all end up playing the same movie.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 2 p.m. CST

    @rev probably was QT

    by tangcameo

    himself

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 2:01 p.m. CST

    yes, agree........

    by Brian

    .....that you just got...... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..................coxxed!!!!!!!!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 2:07 p.m. CST

    FYI, Today is Tangerine's 40th Birthday!!!!

    by Linguo_IS_Dead

    Just I.M.D.B.'d her...(like to F.U.C.K. her)

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Holy Mackenzie!

    by Mondo_dismo

  • I *have* seen the Nostalgia Critic review though, and good GOD, does it look horrible. Doug Walker has said it's THE worst film he's ever reviewed as the Critic, and I can see why he thinks that. Even less than 20 minutes' worth of clips were literally PAINFUL to watch. It's like DEAD BABY JOKES: THE MOVIE.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 2:46 p.m. CST

    The Salò of its Day

    by Man in Suit

    Imagine what it would be like to show up for work on the set of that film every day? What would it have been like to be a cameraman on the set and make your living shooting it? What would you tell your family about how your work day?

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 3:31 p.m. CST

    There was a short lived Animated Series which was fantastic

    by irc-Hollywood

    had great intro music/title sequence too.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 3:46 p.m. CST

    adam bomb. greaser greg. oliver twist. tommy gun.

    by DanielnocharismaCraig

    I think those are the only ones I can remember at this point. Sigh. The era of nostalgia may be gone but I still heart the 80s.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 4:11 p.m. CST

    Newley

    by marwood

    God Bless ya, dukeroberts, for being the first person to mention that Anthony Newley is in this thing. Fantastic actor, writer, director, musician - an absolute legend in every way, reduced to this. Still one of my heroes though....

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 5:14 p.m. CST

    Except for Ally Gator all the faces are the same...

    by alienindisguise

    lazy fucking sculptors.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Saw this movie & Masters of the Universe in the theater..

    by Xenodistortion

    back in the 80's. These movies were the first time in my life I went to the theater and fucking hated what I saw (this also happened with the movie "Oliver and Company" a couple years later. Hated it.). Loves me some He-Man & G.P.K., but even as a kid I knew what I was watching was shit. Garbage Pail Kids felt more like a perplexing uncomfortable acid trip, while He-Man was just complete fucking fail, probably the first film I saw that kicked my nerd reflexes in gear and caused me to say "Respect the fucking source material!". Both are travesties. I can't look back at those movies and remember anything fond about them. Somebody mentioned Solarbabies above. I actually kind of liked this movie when it came out. I was all about Mad Max and that movie always reminded me of a Jr. Mad Max with rollerskating. Plus they tortured kids in that movie. Even though there was a lot of wacky questionable stuff that came out, film makers had fucking balls in the 80's. Albeit some weird balls, that's for sure.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 5:17 p.m. CST

    Deadly Friend not quite WTF 80s material

    by Autodidact

    I was going to suggest Deadly Friend but after I thought about it it's not really WTF Hollywood / WTF 80s enough for a feature yet. It's definitely memorable among the new wave horror movies of the 80s which were all mostly convoluted reworkings of the slasher genre (with a few werewolf and vampire movies in there... and ROTLD).

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 5:26 p.m. CST

    WaTched this

    by BERSERKR

    As a kid, you got my hopes up that they were remaking this :p

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 5:26 p.m. CST

    First movie I disliked was probably Alien 3 (I love it now)

    by Autodidact

    Hmm that's an interesting topic. What's the first movie you went to the theatre for and hated? As I remember I loved every movie I saw as a young kid because it was the fucking 80s and every movie that someone else deemed worthy of taking me to was a fucking classic. The first movie I saw that I found a rip-off might sadly have been Alien 3. Even though I love it now, when I saw it opening night in 1993 I was so disappointed that I didn't even feel angry or resentful... I just kinda mourned the shittiness of the film and was thankful for the Dark Horse ALIENS comics of the same era, many of which were quite good around the time ALIEN 3 came out (such as ALIENS: Genocide, or ALIENS: Hive). The first movie I thought was a TOTAL PIECE OF SHIT was probably Lawnmower Man 2. I really didn't care for Ace Ventura 2 either, which came out a few months before Lawnmower Man 2.

  • It came out a little while after ALIEN 3 but I didn't hate ALIEN 3 as much as disregard it. I fucking hated NEEDFUL THINGS a lot... what a waste of time and money. That must have been the first time I bought a ticket to the movies and regretted it.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Oh come on Re: Deadly Friend

    by donkey_lasher

    A girl who gets brought back to life with the chip from a daft robot? Who then walks around like she is one? (claw fingers) Not Wes Cravens finest.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 5:45 p.m. CST

    The one named Acne Amy always bothered me

    by Terrence

    Mostly because I had fucked up skin back in the day and it hit a little too close to home.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 5:55 p.m. CST

    @berserkr

    by Muldoon

    Haha, sorry about that man. It's only a matter of time though...

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 6 p.m. CST

    These fuckers got me grounded!

    by richardHarrisonsSteamedCrabs

    Collecting the cards was a big thing at my school. It was near the end of term and the school was shutting down forever and we were all being shipped off elsewhere so there were a lot of lessons where we just sat around goofing off as the teachers just didn't give a shit anymore. I was pretty good at drawing (copying other people's art really) and I spent one lesson copying the illustrations onto a piece of A4. Each character got its own expletive, much to the amusement of my fellow classmates. I folded the paper up and slipped it in my pocket and forgot about it. Mum found it in the wash and my parents went ballistic! I got a week! I remember watching the movie with my parents, aunt, brother and cousins on VHS. Elders were appalled. I really don't remember much about the movie though. I do remember the cards kicking up a fuss in the media! Ha ha! New Wave Dave and Mad Donna ring a bell.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 6:18 p.m. CST

    I clearly remember seeing the ad in the paper for this...

    by Polo Chavez

    and the neighbors next door showing it to me as they planned to make an event of going to see it. Thank God we didn't. I never had a chance to see it, and I'd rather not (unless my friends want to get together and goof on it). I just remember seeing the T.V. trailer and being disappointed in how they looked more monstrous than the actual art on the cards. Fuck this movie.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 6:28 p.m. CST

    I WAS AFRAID THIS ARTICLE MEANT THE FILM WAS GETTING REMADE

    by Mullah Omar

    Whew!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 6:41 p.m. CST

    Speaking of WTF?

    by richardHarrisonsSteamedCrabs

    Me and my mates actively sought out WTF? movies. Such as Chopping Mall, Frankenhooker, Street Trash, Bad Taste, Ghoulies etc. I regard Bad Taste as one of the best movies ever made AND a major WTF? Funny, inventive, great characters and a massive influence. Gave us the belief we could actually make our own DIY movies-we made a load of crap but still.... Thanks Mr Jackson. Meet The Feebles is a somewhat bigger WTF?

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 6:47 p.m. CST

    Great Column BTW

    by richardHarrisonsSteamedCrabs

    Bronx Warriors 2! Rats:Night of Terror! Mafia vs Ninja!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 6:48 p.m. CST

    Mafia vs Ninja!

    by richardHarrisonsSteamedCrabs

    Please cover this work of immense WTF?!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 6:50 p.m. CST

    Okay, not Hollywood but still...

    by richardHarrisonsSteamedCrabs

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 6:52 p.m. CST

    @richardharrisonssteamedcrabs

    by Muldoon

    I think its safe to say BAD TASTE holds a special place in most film geek's hearts. It's big dogs like Jackson who started with nothing and still seem to be in love with movie making that keep me constantly looking forward to what's coming to theaters.

  • Seriously. This was a real promo from Atlantic pictures. I think maybe all the theaters in the L.A. area had a different Garbage Pail Kid in person at the theater. My friend and I got dropped off at the Eagle Rock Plaza that weekend (in Eagle Rock, CA) and, sure enough, some midget dressed up in the Nat Nerd costume was there signing autographs on oversized Nat Nerd GPK cards for everyone who attended. He also signed vinyl 45s of the theme song and gave them out to everyone attending. Me and my friend Brian listened to that single over and over the weekend we saw the movie. And yes...I still have the signed 45. Great memories. Thanks, Muldoon!

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 7:23 p.m. CST

    @muldoon

    by richardHarrisonsSteamedCrabs

    Agree totally. BTW regarding Troll 2- although it is a good 'bad movie' the bit where the witch/main bad girl/ whatever the f she is puts the guy in a plant pot killed the notion that the makers weren't taking the piss all along, for me at least

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Muldoon, if you can, please cover "Dune" (1984)

    by successor

    It's such a fascinating film. Yes, it's a commercial and critical failure. But I think it's also one of the most unique science fiction films to come out of the 1980s or any era for that matter. No other film looks quite like it. And even if you don't appreciate it on the story or design level, you can still appreciate it on the camp level. Where else are you going to see Sting hopping around like a madman and screaming, "I will kill him!"?

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 8:22 p.m. CST

    Lynch's Dune is not WTF it's FTW!

    by Autodidact

    Having never read the books all I can say is the movie oozes style and the story is fucking dope.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 8:54 p.m. CST

    Next WTF Hollywood? Mac and Me.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Fake ET plus crippled kid equals crap.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 8:55 p.m. CST

    Fuck, ari_gold beat me to it. Shows how much hate that movie has.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 9:17 p.m. CST

    First movie I hated as a kid? Probably 1986's Legal Eagles

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    I was 12, and fucking LIVID at my dad for dragging me to a "boring adult movie" (granted, the same year I was taken to and loved An American Tail and The Great Mouse Detective, so I was a pretty dweeby kid). I don't think I started consciously hating movies in any truly analytical way until I hit my early 20s...as a teenager, movies were just there to waste time, but as my tastes grew during my early 20s, I began to see what Siskel, Ebert and the newspaper critics were always harping on about...lame sterotypes, cliched situations, recycled plots... Maybe The Rock was the first time I left a movie legitimately ANGRY by how bad it was. Of course, who knew 16 years ago that Michael Bay's hysterical, ADD visual style would one day become the NORM, rather than the exception?

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 9:17 p.m. CST

    Yeah, way too much cocaine flowing around Hollywood.

    by elgato73

    The fucking place is like a freebasing paradise where stupid shit gets constantly generated--a Stretch Armstrong movie, a Garbage Pail Kids remake, or a remake of the BBC's Sherlock. Wish the place would burn with movie execs running down the street on fire ala Richard Pryor.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 9:18 p.m. CST

    dahamburglar

    by eloy

    It sure as fuck is 80's cheesy but I wouldn´t put Chopping Mall in the WTF category. Own and love that flick

  • God bless the 80's B & C movie's.

  • Jan. 22, 2012, 10:37 p.m. CST

    I love this column

    by angry kitty

    almost as much as the behind the scenes photos. Hope the list of WTF movies is never-ending.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 12:45 a.m. CST

    WTF Hollywood - Super Mario Bros.

    by boliver

    It has to happen sometime... Trust the fungus! Also, the last 10 minutes of Mafia Vs. Ninja are pretty damn amazing. Remote control toy cars covered in clumps of grass, which I guess are supposed to represent ninjas burrowing underground?!! Sheer genius.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 1:51 a.m. CST

    X-Entertainment already covered this a long time ago.

    by Bedknobs and Boomsticks

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 1:57 a.m. CST

    WTF indeed.

    by Quelargo

    So, several of you have commented that it's Katie Barberi's 40th birthday today. That means that you guys must have noticed that she was 15 when this movie came out. And I've seen links to purported commando up skirts twice in this talk back. Just saying.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 2:03 a.m. CST

    Saw it in the theater..

    by Darth_Inedible

    And even then me and my friend knew it was hilariously, creepily bad. Not sure we made it through the whole thing actually.

  • And she is still hot...

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 4:18 a.m. CST

    Yes it's terrible but i love it *rasp*

    by billyhitchcock1

  • I mean , seriously can you imagine that? Garbage pail kids remastered in digital 3D and given a wide release? Mind blowing stuff. And yeah I'm serious when i say that garbage pail kids the movie is a better film than star wars episode 1. Garbage pail kids is one of the worst things ever made, but at least it does try to follow the basic movie formula- its got characters with specific personalities , a protagonist with a specific goal as well as an arc , a clearly defined villain and fuck, its even got a good moral message (its not how you look on the outside , its what you have inside!!!). The phantom menace ain't got NONE of that shit. Also, yeah i nominate Mac and Me for the next WTF : Hollywood.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 6 a.m. CST

    how about a wtf hollywood....on

    by emeraldboy

    supergirl the movie...

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 7:08 a.m. CST

    Took a screenwriting class

    by Hipshot

    From a lady who was a producer or exec producer on "GPK" and she told a great story about one of the Little People, a woman with a...let's say generous spirit. And strong oral cravings. And she was exactly tall enough to give a man a blowjob without bending over or getting on her knees. Apparently, became quite popular with the crew.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 8:51 a.m. CST

    mponte10006: David Liebe Hart Begins

    by alexander

    He must have been inspired in at least some small way by this movie! Well, it's likely...

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Brilliant interview with the director!

    by Shady Drifter

    Best quote (on using dwarves as the Garbage Pail Kids): "Paramedic's got, you know, a stop watch, (chuckles) little sons o' bitches go in there (more chuckling), and you say "Action!", and you shoot until they can't breathe!"

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 9:15 a.m. CST

    30 million dollars!?!

    by Jake Pantlin

    Christ! The budget for Masters of the Universe, which came out just 2 weeks before this film did, had a budget of $17 million. Not that the MOTU film was a great film or anything... but at least it looked like a film!

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Garbage Pail Kids cartoon

    by Munsford

    At the height of the craze, CBS hired Bob Hathcock to produce an animated Garbage Pail kids show. I did a couple of the storyboards, and I think two or three episodes were completed before the plug was pulled. As far as I know, these have never been released.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 11:25 a.m. CST

    I clearly remember liking this as a kid

    by Jake Jarvi

    Having now watched the trailer, I wonder what I saw in it. The only thing I remember is one of the Garbage Pail Kids launches Dodger into a flip so he can land on someone? Something like that, fight contexty. I guess I thought that was cool enough to legitimize the rest of the movie.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 11:38 a.m. CST

    I remember the disappointment as a kid.

    by Tikidonkeypunch

    They kept talking about rescuing their friends. I kept thinking we were gonna get all the rest of the Garbage Pail Kids lineup. Instead we get a bunch of deformed retards in cages. Now a truly scary movie would be a Chucky doll the size of those kids. PS I'm gonna have to rewatch this again and see if theres anything to the upskirt allegations. Some of you are saying stockings, some say not.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Saw Megaforce in the theater....

    by Darth Macchio

    ...and once that motorcycle sprouted wings and began to fly, we just flipped out. Seriously. It wasn't even something we could appreciate as young geeks. I clearly recall getting a couple roles of Spree candy (like sweet-tarts but in a silver wrapping) - if you twisted up a piece of that silver wrapping and then flung it from the tip of a pen/pencil in the theater, it would catch the projector beam and light up like a giant ass lightening bug as it floated down. Between that and throwing popcorn at people (we hit this one kid so much, his dad came and sat right in front of us)...it's amazing we didn't get kicked out of the theater.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 12:17 p.m. CST

    An idea for WTF: Hollywood -- Alien vs Predator

    by lv_426

    Seriously, compare what we actually got, to what we could have gotten had they decided to use the Dark Horse comic or the basic idea of the AvP video games where it was Colonial Marines, Aliens, and Predators mixing it up in violent and bloody ways.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 12:22 p.m. CST

    WTF: Hollywood -- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

    by lv_426

    Another one of those runaway successes with us little shits back then, but now it looks so damn silly. I can't believe I liked this when I was like 10 or 11. Sure the cartoon and the arcade game was cool, but a live action TMNT movie? WTF indeed.

  • There is the Lynch Dune that actually got made, and then the Jodorowski one that was in the works in the 1970's where he had H.R. Giger and Chris Foss doing conceptual design work.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 1:35 p.m. CST

    WTF Hollywood: Best AICN column in a long, long time...

    by workshed

    Keep up the good work Mike..! How about taking a look at 'Dougal and the Blue Cat' (the English version, not the lame French 'Pollux et le Chat Bleu')..? Is it a musical, an allegory, or perhaps the finest children's film (loaded with drug references) ever made. A WTF in every sense, but in a really good way... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0308184/ ...it's also the movie responsible for getting Nick Park hooked on animation.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Dougal and the Blue Cat...

    by workshed

    'The seven doors...' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiESwuVz_bI

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 3:28 p.m. CST

    lv_426 why you trying to rape my childhood???

    by Tikidonkeypunch

    I thought TMNT the movie was great. Sequel was pure early 90's hype. But 3 should get the WTF Hollywood. You had a successful franchise and then you go and deliver this Turtles in Time BS. I am so ashamed of part 3 that I can't even go back and watch it. But you leave parts 1 and 2 alone. They are forever part of my history.

  • Jan. 23, 2012, 11:37 p.m. CST

    Such a weird, tasteless phenomena

    by darthvedder81

    Even at the age of 5 I recognized how gross and stupid GPK cards were. Even if I wanted some my parents would never have let me get any. I agreed with them.

  • Jan. 30, 2012, 1:29 a.m. CST

    Little known fact apparently

    by brattyben

    Art Spiegleman was actually a huge part of creating the original designs for the Garbage Pail Kids. You can look it up! But, yeah, horrible and CREEPY film. B