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Report on the midnight screening of ORGAZMO and Trey Parker. Plus Slamdance's SIX STRING SAMURAI!!!

Published at: Jan. 28, 1998, midnight CST by staff

Here comes that Obnoxious Little Brat with his review/experience of ORGAZMO, and he even got to talk with Trey Parker!!! Also from SLAMDANCE comes a review of SIX STRING SAMURAI. So take a lookee...

Okay, unlike you... I was there for the first half of Sundance. I got a little skiing in, and why I don't know. After all these deaths with people hitting trees and the lack of money in my pocket, I guess I reasoned with myself and decided since everything there was sold out... I might as well ski. But there was NO way I was gonna miss Trey Parker's film, "Orgazmo". I would've sold my mother into slavery to see this film... I was that pumped about it. Hell, it was the *reason* I went... other than to meet people and get a feel for what the hype is about. Okay... I wanted to see Cameron Diez and Milla Jovovich... neither of whom I got to see. They were probably at Quentin's film fest because Sundance was sold out!

So there we are standing in line to get put onto the waiting list for tickets to "Orgazmo". I'm holding a card that says 53 on it, my friends got stuck with 56-58 somehow. Over and over I'm saying in my mind "53... we'll never get in!" I'm also thinking "what kinda idiot came up with this plan for waiting list tickets... they sell waiting list tickets to everyone in line (over 70 people) for regular ticket prices, then if the people don't get in they spend the time refunding all of their money. Why not just set up a register at the door and charge only those who get in?? Nah... that would be the smart thing to do." So while this is all happening in my head, a guy jumps into the Sundance tent where the line is and says "Who needs tickets!?!" My friend yells out and the guy sells us 1 ticket. Great... 1 ticket and 4 people... who gets to go in? Nobody wants to let anyone else in so we make a pact that we will get 3 more or sell that one to some other group and let them fight over it. So my friend takes the ticket and goes off trying to find more... SCORE! We get our three tickets and hand away our ridiculous number cards. We step out of the tent and see this long... long... very long line standing out in the snow shivering. We go over it in our heads once more how much we wanna see this movie and we start towards the line. Just before we take one step, some lady herds us into the building and into the warmth. She mumbles something about VIPs or something, and we go with it. So now we got 2 strokes of luck on our side... waiting for the third (which comes later... hint hint).

After waiting for the last show to disembark from the theater, we get in and have the choice of any seat we want. We get fair seats up front (but 3 back) and we're content. The theater finally gets packed and the shows ready to start. First a few words from the director and our host for the evening, that loveable King of comedy, Trey Parker! Yay... clap clap clap... woo hoo! So Trey comes out dressed in leather pants and a shiny purple shirt. He tells us how "Orgazmo" was actually written before South Park was ever envisioned and how some of the jokes are similar because of that. Trey then tells us that he thanks us all for coming out and that they applied "Orgazmo" to Sundance before, but it wasn't accepted. "Now," he says, "nothing is different but the success of South Park and the fact I'm wearing leather pants." He then tells us he feels really lame, but he was conned into doing it... out comes the voice of Cartman, that loveable rude third grader from the hit TV cartoon series we've come to love, "You son of a bitch! I'll kick you in the nuts!!" The crowd went up in laughter and applause for several minutes. Trey departs and the film begins while everyone settles down.

"Orgazmo" was basically about a Utah Mormon named Joe Young who, while on mission work in Los Angeles, gets wrapped up in the porno business by some cruel twist of fate named Maxxx Orbison, played by Michael Dean Jacobs. Joe Young, played by Trey Parker himself, becomes the porno star 'Joe Hung' in the huge sensational hit porno, 'Orgazmo'. His sidekick is Choda-Boy, played by Dian Bachar, who in real life is a MIT graduate who invents all sorts of gizmos. One of those gizmos is the Orgazmorator, a powerful ray which inflicts multiple orgasms on its targets. So with Joe trying to convince his Mormon fiancé, played by Robyn Lynne, back home in Utah that he's in a 'nice' film making enough money for them to get married in the Temple in Salt Lake City, trouble is afoot in LA. Joe's friend, G, has been getting his Sushi Bar terrorized by some local thugs which ultimately ends with G getting cut on the cheek and his bar getting totaled. Choda-Boy finally convinces Joe that they must do something to stop those thugs. So Joe straps the Orgazmorator to his arm and dons some nice vinyl duds to fight crime in real life. Choda-Boy, being a master of several martial arts (as well as Joe is) makes quick work of the thugs, all while suppressing the urge to use the notorious 'Hamster Style' martial art that he swore he'd never use again (at least not until the end of the movie, naturally). A quick getaway brings them back to Choda's house. Joe renegs on the Orgazmo idea and wants out. He is finally convinced he needs to get out when his fiancé, Lisa, shows up to surprise him in LA during the filming of the 'Orgazmo' sequel. She finds out all about his porn identity and tries to run back to Utah. Joe goes straight to Maxxx Orbison and tells him he's not coming back into the industry to finish the sequel to 'Orgazmo'. Maxxx, who we find out is behind the thugs terrorizing G's Sushi Bar, shuts him down with an iron hand by kidnapping Lisa and threatening to make her his new porn star. There is only one man strong enough, quick enough, and sexy enough to don the vinyl one more time and strap on that Orgazmorator... Joe Young -is- ORGAZMO! In a 'final' battle you will never forget, Joe saves Lisa and does away with the evil Maxxx Orbison... or does he? Only the conclusion you least expect takes place at the end of the film and you're guaranteed to love it! With appearances by Matt Stone, co-creator of South Park, several well known porn stars, including Ron Jeremy, and a lot of South Park wit... "Orgazmo" was a hilariously sweet film about a guy just trying to do some right in this crazy world, while sticking to Mormon beliefs.

The movie was really well done and had some nice lighting effects and soundtrack put to it. Trey said it costed a little under a million to make, but who cares about the exact figure... the film rocked. The next day my friend and I were strolling around the Sundance HQ and we saw free food and headed for it. Little did we know that we accidentally snuck into the VIP lounge and got by the guard who wasn't paying attention. We sat down at our table with napkins of food and who did we see sitting at the table next to us? Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I had to make myself an appearance. Trey was still wearing his leather pants, but it looked like someone loaned him a sweatshirt. After signing a bunch of autographs for the teenagers surrounding him, and singing the "Kyle's Mom is a Stupid Bitch in D Minor" (which was a highlight of my trip), I finally got to talk to him about this and that. He seemed like a really down to earth guy who, though famous, didn't get snobbish. He cracked jokes with me and answered the few questions I mustered out of my mouth (I hate questions). I wish I could've talked longer, but some guy who seemed to know Trey from somewhere else (but I think he was faking) cut into our conversation and I took my cue to leave (after first cutting back in and getting a goodbye and see you at the Slamdance party later handshake with Trey). But all in all I got to talk to him and he was really down to earth. He even spoke how he gets overwhelmed at the success of South Park when he goes to the mall and sees nothing but SP hats and shirts and stickers and other trademarks of the show. I can't blame him, but keep on truckin' Trey... we love the final product!

I mentioned the Slamdance party later that night, and yes... Trey and Matt and Dian and Robyn and a lot of the cast were at the party. And I did say a few words to them... but something about a 'party' getting turned into a 'club' made short work of my night and the volume got too loud to carry on a conversation with anyone. But we did, again, get into another VIP access area and there we met another guy who works on South Park. My friend, Robert, was trying to get Trey's movies and possibly some South Park screenings to come down to our campus in Texas. The guy sounded pretty interested, but being that I came in towards the end of the conversation and both Robert and the guy were drunk... who knows what will happen. Heck, Robert can't even remember the guys name! But he did give him his phone number and his email address, so maybe we'll get in touch with him sometime in the future. Hopefully! Or maybe he'll see this posted on your web page somewhere and reply to me :) Who knows... but we all gotta have a little faith.

Another great movie that I saw, not in Sundance.... but in Slamdance, was "Six String Samurai". This was an apocolyptic movie based on the what-if concept of the Russians nuking the US in 1957 and Elvis taking over as the King of what was still left of America. Well, Elvis' last heir dies and Lost Vegas is in need of a new King. Enter the Six String Samurai himself, Buddy... played by Jeffrey Falcon. This hip rock 'n roll intense cinemagraphic masterpiece will blow you away! The fight scenes are well choreographed (by Jeffrey Falcon), the point of the movie is told mostly by the camera with few dialogue scenes, and the soundtrack is created by The Red Elvises... a Russian Rock 'n Roll band that plays on 3rd Street in Los Angeles a lot. This soundtrack kicks buttox, lemme tell you. I was hooked the first time I heard them half a year ago... and just watching this movie has pushed me into ordering their CD from their web page. You won't be disappointed, go for it www.redelvises.com

Also check out www.hsx.com for info on "Six String Samurai", directed by Lance Mungia (God I hope I spelled that right). He is truly a gifted director and if his email box wasn't full, I'd tell him that in so many words.

Well... thanks Harry for hearing me out and I hope I make the pages of your web page. I want people to try and find copies of "Orgazmo" AND "Six String Samurai" to support the respective directors. I also saw "Cannibal: The Musical", Trey Parker's other feature film... but I liked "Orgazmo" better. You could tell the budget was higher. I'm pretty sure, though, that you can order Cannibal from Troma Productions. Yes... the same people who make "Toxic Avenger" and "Femme Fountain: Killer Babe For The CIA". Thanks again for reading all of the words which leaked from my overpopulated mind... it has been fun writing them :)

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