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Massawyrm returns with his annual VERY WORST OF list! 2011 EDITION!

Hola all. Massawyrm here.

It’s been a while. A long while. But, you know, I’ve been busy. Making a movie, selling novels. It’s been a crazy year. But as crazy awesome as it was, there was no way I could deny myself my annual tradition of watching the very worst movies of the year for a week straight in order to sort out what movies really, truly deserved the title VERY WORST OF THE YEAR. After all, “worst” is a pretty heavy term to hang on someone’s movie – especially when what you really mean is “The worst movies I actually bothered to see this year.” Well, after an eyeball bleeding, sanity testing tour through a cinematic sewer, I’ve come out drenched in 10 films that have truly earned their status as THE VERY WORST THEATRICALLY RELEASED FILMS OF 2011. So let’s get it on, shall we?


HONERABLE MENTION: IN THE NAME OF THE KING 2: TWO WORLDS. Ordinarily my annual lists are comprised only of theatrically released films, but this year I decided to make a small exception for the work of Dr. Uwe Boll. Once held to be the very worst working director in the world, both his budgets and notoriety shrank as people stopped paying attention to his shenanigans. But since the good doctor is perhaps the only director in the world to both have spent twenty minutes yelling at me *and* to have seen me naked, I give him the benefit of a watch every now and again.

And boy howdy is this one of the very best pinched-off links of the turd sandwich that is his career. I mention this not to pick on it, but to highlight it. Fans of terrible cinema know that the first film in this franchise is simply magical; epic in scope, terrible in execution and mind boggling in the audacity of its anachronisms and non-sequiturs. It made my 10-spot a few years back. So how do you improve upon a time honored six-pack and pretzels piece of shit like that? You don’t. You make it worse.

First of all, ignore everything you know about the original. No one returns. They don’t even bother to shoot in Europe, this time using the forests of Vancouver to stand in for the fantasy world. No castles in Vancouver you say? Don’t worry. Uwe brought plenty of styrofoam and spray paint. Meanwhile, lacking the $5M it costs to get Jason Statham to star in anything at all whatsoever, they instead turn to Dolph Lundgren in a magical hipster scarf that is impervious to dirt and blood, who Uwe mysteriously allows also to narrate the film – Lundgren, not the scarf, though I suspect the scarf would have done a better job. The effect is mind blowing. The minute he starts dropping bombs on you like “This was weirder than any acid trip. Or maybe it isn’t. I wouldn’t know,” you realize just how freaking awesome this crapfest is really going to be. Oh yeah. And it’s about a martial artist sent back in time to fulfill an ancient prophesy, of which he must accomplish at least two of the three tasks. Because even the protagonists in Boll films are allowed to half ass it.

Only to be watched with friends and beer, this comes recommended as the very best bad thing you will find.


10) THE THREE MUSKETEERS. As hinted at earlier, I reserve the 10 spot on my list every year for the very best of the bad movies; the one actually worth watching – if you’re into that sort of thing. This year’s 10 spot goes to Paul W.S. Anderson’s spectacular clusterfuck of an adaptation that borrows a few of the ideas from a classic work of adventure, slaps them into a video game and then  seemingly completely forgets what movie it was he was supposed to be making. But the kicker here is that it is never, ever boring. One of two things is always going on. The first involves the practical action sequences. Anderson is at his very best when dealing with action sequences involving only practical effects. So sword play and Musketeer tomfoolery all work here. The main establishing fight scene when d’Artagnan first fights alongside Porthos, Athos and Aramis is wonderful. It is every bit the fun and frolic it should be – even after Anderson butchers the classic setup of the scene. The second involves just how gleefully moronic every other action scene – you know, the ones involving CG - are. The film tries so hard to be edgy and unique, that it instead becomes a parade of jaw dropping sequences, clunky attempts at adaptation and direct lifts from other better movies. These are so deliciously terrible that you will clap like a retarded kid on ice cream day.

It’s hard to do anything but laugh when Anderson rips off the MATRIX Morpheus rescue scene using a steampunk airship in place of the helicopter and cannons in place of machineguns. And of course it should come as no surprise when the film begins to brazenly borrow from WRATH OF KHAN. When it’s good, it’s fun; when it’s bad, it is so glaringly misguided that you have an even better time than when it gets things right. This is still playing in a handful of dollar theaters around the country. If you haven’t yet, see it and see it big. It’s the best theatrically released bad movie of 2011 and is well worth a couple bucks.


9) THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2: FULL SEQUENCE. This was a tough film to slot. In terms of film-watching experiences, it was the very worst of the year. But that’s exactly what it wants to be. HC2 isn’t a movie trying to be good; it is a movie trying to piss you off, going as far as humanly possible, throwing every single taboo it can at you until you throw your arms up in exasperation and just say “Fuck it.” I fortunately saw the theatrical cut of this, which lacked the single, final taboo left in Tom Six’s bag of tricks, only to discover from friends who had seen the full, uncut version at Fantastic Fest that no, it in fact went all the way. By the time our mentally handicapped (and molested) protagonist was savagely beating a pregnant woman, I checked out mentally and sat numb to everything else that came at me. By that point it was all academic – me asking myself “What hasn’t he shown us yet.” He still had some surprises up his sleeve, and Six is effective enough of a filmmaker that he actually made me gag during one scene, so I find it hard to call it the very worst film of the year – the man hits every mark that he’s aiming at. But there’s zero reason for anyone to ever watch it. It doesn’t want to entertain you; it wants to make fun of you. And seriously, fuck that.


8) ZOOKEEPER. Another tough call. There were so many terrible Happy Madison movies this year that it was hard to choose. It ultimately came down to which I hated more – this or JACK AND JILL. And I hated this one more. After FUNNY PEOPLE, Adam Sandler and crew seem not to so much be pretending as if that movie never happened, but as if they are now just making fun of their own audience. Because no matter what they do, these stinkers make money – with a few very notable exceptions. And they are all getting worse, year by year. Continuing their very long tradition of incorporating product placement into their films, ZOOKEEPER goes the extra mile by making its shameless schilling more than just a sticky plot point; the movie actually stops for several minutes and becomes a commercial for T.G.I.Fridays. Sure the monkey poo throwing jokes and wolves peeing on tree gags border on the positively imbecilic, and the populist bitter at the rich because they are all douchebags angle is handled as if written by a thirteen year old after his first bad breakup, and the film forgets even to develop characters in the direction they need them until seconds before applicable plot twists – but when talking animals crave nothing more in life than to spend an evening at one of the bistro-clone white trash night out chains, this finds its way to a new level of despicability and plants its flag.  


7) JUDY MOODY AND THE NOT BUMMER SUMMER. Making a movie that kids love but drives parents up the wall isn’t all that hard; making one that kids hate as well actually takes talent. Enter JUDY MOODY, a protagonist so unlikable I’m surprised Tom Six didn’t toss her into the scatological mix of HC2. This isn’t so much a movie as it is a series of scenes involving the world’s whiniest pain the in the ass, failing to accomplish pointless dares in order to gain thrill points to prove she had a much better summer than all of her friends. And it has a song. Played by Urkel. On a banjo. With words and a bouncing ball so you can sing along. I’m surprised kids simply didn’t flip the theaters over and set them on fire after watching this. It will make you beg for David Cross and a pack of chipmunks.


6) SUCKER PUNCH. You honestly think that GREEN LANTERN was the most disappointing movie of the year? Then you blocked this shit like women block the pain of pregnancy. Watch it again and reel at how masterfully Snyder dismantled every bit of artistic credibility he had. It is the most beautifully hollow piece of garbage to grace screens all year. It’s hard to find anything more to say about it than what I did here.


5) HOODWINKED TOO! HOOD VS EVIL. Everything that is wrong about animated filmmaking in this day and age is exemplified here. A product of bad punch-up, the very worst element of this film is that fact that every time something happens, they try to cram in four different punchlines about it, all immediately one after another like guys swarming the bathtub girl at a frat party, trying to see which one will pop first. The result of this comedy staccato is a net of zero laughs. It’s a 90 minute animated headache.


4) CREATURE. The biggest theatrical misfire in years, this terrible, terrible attempt at cheap monster horror opened on over 1500 screens, took in less than $217 per screen and closed in 7 days, pulling in roughly half a million dollars. It is the very definition of the word fiasco. More importantly, it earned every bit of failure that it got. The movie is inexplicable. It’s rare that you can watch a horror movie and not understand what the fuck they were trying to do with it; rarer still is a film in which you forget who is even still alive because not only do you not care, but the film shows entirely too much restraint - perhaps for budgetary reasons – that you have to actively wonder who died in what scene just to keep up. Worse still, the film doesn’t even bother to show you its own climax; characters just disappear and then reappear with something that looks nothing like the rubber suited guy running around throwing cans of fake blood on the thirty-somethings pretending to be twenty-somethings that are the worst written Navy SEALS ever put to film. Don’t worry. There’s an even more inexplicable ending that comes after that.


3) PASSION PLAY. Wooooow. I’m about to type a phrase you have never read before and will no doubt never read again. Megan Fox’s performance in PASSION PLAY is the very best part of this film. Yes better than Bill Murray, who appears to be mainlining sleeping pills between takes. And yes, even better than Mickey Rourke, who they decided just not to bother to sober up. Making matters worse, PASSION PLAY feels like a script that sat in a drawer since the mid-90’s, after DESTINY TURNS ON THE RADIO failed at the box office and people realized that there wasn’t a market for badly written surreal-supernatural-crime-indie-comedies. How bad can it be? They couldn’t even score Christopher Walken for the out of nowhere “Holy shit! It’s Christopher Walken!” exposition scene, so they had to get Rory Cochrane instead. By the way “Holy shit! It’s Rory Cochrane!” just doesn’t have the same kind of magic to it. I still said it, but it just isn’t the same.


2) BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR. Conventional wisdom has it that if you serve as Adam Sandler’s comedy bitch for long enough, he will give you your shot at a movie built entirely around you. Sometimes, as in this case, he’ll even help you write it. Unfortunately for Nick Swardson, when his turn at bat came up, he didn’t have any ideas and Sandler had finally tapped himself out of even his least tolerable of low-rent humor. This is the very worst thing to ever have the Happy Madison logo on it, which is kind of like saying Kim Jong Il was the very worst dictator to die last year. But at least the other films were movies. This was an unending purgatory of small dick jokes, coupled with a bucktooth gag that just made you feel bad for everyone having to act opposite Swardson.

This is a movie so bad it borders on anti-comedy – as if somehow the joke of the movie is that none of the jokes are funny. There were very few comedies that failed to make me laugh this year. Even the worst offenders usually got a giggle or two out of me. After all, despite how rotten or base a bulk of the gags were, these were still professional comedians and they are capable of making anyone laugh at least a little bit. But not so with Swardson and the cast he assembled. The film is absolutely baffling in just how low a bar it sets and never manages to rise above. But the icing on the cake is how ineptly the story it wants to tell is, with major plot revelations told in the worst possible sequence to keep us from even being remotely invested in its done to death story.

Watching this film from beginning to end is nothing but a Rochambeau contest in which Swardson yuks it up as painfully as possible as you sit swearing, savoring the end of his career. No matter who flinches first, you both lose.

1) ATLAS SHRUGGED: PART I. Propaganda in and of itself is a bad thing. But ineptly made propaganda is a far, far worse thing indeed. I wavered for quite some time over which was worse – this or BUCKY LARSON. At the end of the day I realized that the only person who stood up to defend Swardson’s movie was Swardson himself. The people that stood up to defend ATLAS SHRUGGED were numerous and thoroughly misguided. I received dozens upon dozens of e-mails over my ATLAS SHRUGGED review –all calling me a liberal, a RINO or a traitor to the Republican party, depending on how much research they bothered to do on me - and there was an oft repeated phrase that sounded more hollow and shrill every time I read it: “It may not be the best movie ever made but…”

Not the best movie ever made? That’s pretty fucking generous for Objectivists, don’t you think? I mean, for people not exactly known for their charity...

The film is garbage. This is an ashcan film, no better than Corman’s FANTASTIC FOUR, meant only to maintain the rights to a project the producers were never going to get right anyway. This went from being an $80M tentpole film with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt attached to a limited release clunker helmed by a television director and starring the kind of cast you’d expect in a slapdash movie of the week in under three years. The portrayals on all sides are offensively cartoonish, the ideas presented are only the most lizard-brained of Rand’s, and more importantly, it was written with the mindset of its agenda being more important than its delivery. The thing is a mess – a repulsive, derogatory heap of celluloid that fails on all counts. And because of all that, I find it far worse than a movie about a small dicked guy shooting cum bullets every time a girl is about to take off her top.


Until next time friends,


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Readers Talkback
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  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:55 a.m. CST

    yep, some bad films in 2011

    by mrbong

    and not all that many classics, sadly.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:03 a.m. CST

    Adjustment Bureau

    by professorjack

    I really thought that was one of the worst films I've ever seen.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:05 a.m. CST

    Fuck it,

    by Monkey Butler

    I'm downloading Atlas Shrugged. I want to know just how bad that bitch is, and it seems fitting to be stealing from those Objectivist cunts.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:08 a.m. CST

    Theres some asshole on here who thinks Sucker Punch is good.

    by double_ball_hanger

    ...just one, though. It isn't even that good looking. I don't give a shit about deeper meaning in a movie if I have to look through a veneer of absolute excrement. The CG is uninspired and the action choreography is stiff at best.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:10 a.m. CST

    best - Source Code

    by mrbong

    followed by Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, in which John Lithgow was superb, giving a supporting performance worthy of awards. Thor and Captain America were really rather good, Paul was a good laugh but beyond that nothing anywhere near "memorable", let alone classic.

  • Drop by more often, PLEASE!

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:22 a.m. CST


    by double_ball_hanger

    I wanted to defend the movie when I left the theater afterwards, but time and my memory have not been kind to it. It's basically like a void in my brain. Not 'worst of' list. Not 'best of' list. Just a blackness in my brain that says MISSING REEL.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:26 a.m. CST

    So Atlas is the worst...

    by nemov

    because there were people dumb enough to defend it? If that's your justification for naming it the worst movie of the year that's almost as bad as the people defending the film.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:27 a.m. CST

    Suckerpunch was the most unfairly maligned movie of 2011

    by Spandau Belly

    On any technical or mechanical level it's fine. The characters are given motivations and reasons for the audience to sympathize with them, the risks are established, the plot moves along. It's well shot and well enough acted. I get that it's not the movie for everybody, but I honestly can't believe every critic lined up to kick this thing.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:31 a.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    No, that was my justification for the tie breaker between it and BUCKY LARSON. It's the worst because it is a terrible, terrible film, bar none. For an in depth explanation for the choice, please follow the link to my review from earlier this year.

  • Wouldn't it be cool to have robots AND samurai AND hot girls AND machine guns AND...AND...AND... Actually, no.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Wheres is my damn Happy Feet 2 Review

    by Phategod2

    I so badly wanted you to review that Massa.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:51 a.m. CST

    Never seen 'atlas' but Massa obviously...

    by OutsideChance

    ...reviewed its fans, not the film, at least for this list. While Massa does pay lip service to the production itself, he doesn't clarify it's production values or acting are worse than any other film on the list. Instead, he says it is the worst because of its If fans saying "it may not be the best movie, but..." makes a film the "worst," then there are literally dozens of films out there that could be number one. Therefore, it really appears as if what got this film the 'top' spot was that the TB'ers insulted Massa by calling him a "RINO." On the 'bright' side, Massa (like Herc) has succeeded in bringing some cheap heat to the board to get the hit count up. Massa isn't a dumb guy and he knows that putting "Atlas" on the list will start a politard flame war. That will get people coming back to the thread and make Amazon and the other advertisers very happy.

  • When Damon and Blunt's big plan becomes to kick down the door of God's office and play kissyface to convince The Almighty that he's being a jerk and should stop keeping them apart, well, I just sat back and laughed at how the movie went with it whole hog.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:55 a.m. CST

    Sucker Punch

    by ChezKing

    Very weak story, and I hated the "MTV music video" feel of the movie in multiple scenes. But I found the visuals to be absolutely outstanding. Amazing action and FX. I like Snyder, he's a terrific director and very creative and I think Man of Steel is in good hands. So long as he didn't have a hand in writing the script, the next new Superman movie should be incredible. While Sucker Punch has it's flaws, it certainly doesn't deserve to be on this list.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:58 a.m. CST

    Well Green Lantern ....

    by Tom Fremgen

    I feel still needs a nod. Sucker Punch was bad from the get go. How could anyone turn that mess of a concept into a good film. Green Lantern on the other hand (if you followed the comicbook) was written and already proven for you. It's pretty impressive to f'ck that up, especially when you claim to really care about the concept and characters and have the budget to prove it.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:59 a.m. CST

    Zack Snyder's career suicide

    by Fred

    Must not have happened yet since he's directing the Superman reboot... lololol. But that right there shows just how much Massawyrm over-reached in his hate. Hint: the whorehouse world wasn't imagined because it was "better". It was imagined because that's what it felt like. Derp.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:59 a.m. CST

    I'll rather watch Three Musketeers from 1973

    by quintana007

    It can't get any better. Awesome cast and very, very funny. It was the PotC of the 70s...

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:01 a.m. CST

    Jack and Jill wasn't on there?

    by Mugato5150

    Granted, I didn't actually see Jack and Jill. I also never teabagged a bowling ball return. But there are things that you know to purposely avoid. Jack and Jill looked to me like a cynical product placement venture disguised as a movie. So that probably should have been on the list.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:03 a.m. CST


    by Shoegeezer

    There was no shortage of utterly dreadful movies last years, like Conan and The Thing, that failed on even the most basic levels. Then there were a fair number of ones that seemed far too smug, such as Paul, Sucker Punch or Attack The Block, that were so intent on pandering that they ignored some fundamental flaws.

  • Both movies are shit. No one seems to be getting that. Green Lantern was not bad, it was just disappointing. I watched yesterday and there are some good pieces that salvage the film like all the space stuff, the constructs and some of the cast. Shit, we get an Amanda Waller Origin, I never thought that would happen in a film let alone a summer one. It just spends too much time on Earth when it really needed to be in space. Unfortunately, the price for technology to make it awesome is not realistic. It did make money, so maybe they will do space, but everything I hear is more Earth. Unless they bust out Green Arrow and do the Emerald Knights stuff, its going to suck more.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:24 a.m. CST

    My choices for Worst Films of 2011.

    by brocknroll

    1. The Muppets 2. John Carpenter's "The Ward" 3. "Limitless" starring Bradley Cooper/Robert Deniro 4. Bad Teacher 5. The Adjustment Bureau 6. Your Highness 7. Priest 8. The Rite 9. Dylan Dog (horror film starring Brandon Routh) 10. Drive Angry 3D (w/Nicolas Cage) Defend "The Muppets" all you want, it was a horrible film. They ruined it.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:31 a.m. CST

    Generally speaking when I think worst of films of any year

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I need to go to IMDB or somewhere, and see what came out for the simple reason that in many cases they are here and gone in a week if that. Some stupidity survives due to marketing, such as Human Centipede 2, but in many cases these are forgotten. Now if it came out last year Paul Blart: Mall Cop would be at the top of my list. My kids inflicted that turd on me Christmas Day. I should have given them coal. Like the memories of pain being blocked from a delivery I have forgotten most of these, and don't even know many of them.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:36 a.m. CST

    shoegeezer - Conan

    by mrbong

    Conan had some flaws, but it also had some reasonably entertaining moments and was "not as bad as it could be". it was not a struggle or an endurance test to get through the film, so would place it as average rather than bad or one of the worst. the films Massawyrm speaks of are of the kind that you are either tempted to walk out of the theatre or possibly just eject and scratch the disc of.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:44 a.m. CST


    by Shoegeezer

    That's how I felt about Conan, I'm afraid. I would have walked had I not been watching it for work reasons. Nothing in it was in any way acceptable, the action was badly shot, the story hackneyed beyond belief and the storytelling so poor that when discussing the film immediately after the screening none of us could recall the name of any character other than Conan. Glad you got something out of it but for me it was an endurance test.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Certainly agree on SUCKER PUNCH; haven't seen the others.

    by justmyluck

    Which, I suppose, was a good thing.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:59 a.m. CST


    by mrbong

    ah, where we watched might have explained the difference. i waited for the DVD and just laid on the couch, i think had i been sat in the cinema watching it my response would have been a good deal closer to yours.

  • This is what happens when you give creative control to non-creative people, people who've been concieved and birthed in the syphilitic womb of Hollywood. They look vaguely like movies, they have things in them that we're supposed to like, yet they just can't conjure up enough real drama to convince a living human brain that it's watching something.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Very little respect for this list because...

    by Sir Pirvan

    Bridesmaids do not configure prominently on it. I do usually agree with you on most things, Massa, but how what is arguably in 'Scorpion King 3' territory Bridesmaids is not on here is a travesty, much like the movie in itself... /end hating. :)

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:05 a.m. CST

    Ayn Rand is philosophy for stupid people

    by Andrew

    ...and most people who claim to "believe in it" haven't read anything. Evidence - the Tea Party religious rednecks who tout Atlas Shrugged would probably be very offended by Rand's atheistic tone through out AS and The Fountainhead (on par with Phillip Pullman). But they just hear "it's conservative" and they jump right on it. Its right-wing ignorance at its best - be told what to like and what to hate - then get real ANGRY about it!

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:18 a.m. CST

    Atlas shrugged wasn't terrible

    by Murchmo

    Naming it the worst film puts you in a category. It would be smarter to not speak of it at all.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Atlas Shrugged is trash

    by Mooly

    It is a horrible movie. So bad I don't even think they are bothering to finish the story. But what did people expect. This isn't just propaganda, it is idiotic propaganda written by the one of the worlds biggest hypocrit authors. Enjoyed not because it has any actual value or meaning, but because the people who like and follow it WANT authoritative propaganda to tell them what to do and think in order to feel better about themselves. Fiction for people who want to justify their self-righteous bullying philosophies and politics. Ayn Rand sucks and there is literally no way to make her books into movies that aren't garbage because that is the source material you are working off.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:27 a.m. CST

    Bucky Larson

    by BlueHawaiiSurfer

    Couldn't agree more. What a miserable pile of shit. Can't really even bother to write more than that about it.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:29 a.m. CST


    by ldm882

    While I certainly don't think it belongs on a list of the 10 worst films of the year, it immediately pops up in my mind as one of the most underwhelming films I saw all year, given all the good things I read / heard about it. I mean, 69% on RT?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:30 a.m. CST

    No Happy Feet 2?

    by seasider

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:32 a.m. CST

    My kids made me watch Judy Moody

    by Quackfu

    and the whole time all I kep thinking about was banging Auntie Roller Girl

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:38 a.m. CST

    I try to defend Sucker Punch but...

    by knowthyself

    ...every time I try to watch it my brain feels numb. I try to focus on just the visuals but by then my brain has turned to mush. The film over complicates itself with one too many fantasy worlds. The best part is the music. The action scenes have no sense of gravitas, importance, and worst of all no sense of danger for any of the characters. When you know the hero cannot die then your action scenes mean nothing Mr. writer and directors of the world. When inception told the audience that a sort of death was possible then the stakes were raised. Sucker Punch misses every opportunity to be about something and ends up being about nothing at all. I tried so hard to love it and defend it but in the end the movie is shallow and empty.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:48 a.m. CST

    No Transformers: Dark Of My Asshole?

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    I know, it's too "easy" to pick on Michael Bay movies anymore, but he still fucking DESERVES it.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:50 a.m. CST

    There should be a category for 'Heartbreaks'...

    by zinc_chameleon

    Green Lantern and Conan would top that list; followed by whatever film had: (a) a big budget; (b) big talent; (c) a professed geek love spasm for the original novel/comic/urban myth. This year's award for Heartbreak will certainly go out to 'John Carter' (and A Princess of Mars?).

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Green Lantern was total arse, but Sucker Punch was fucking criminal.

    by Keith Maniac

    Green Lantern should have been DC's launching point beyond just Superman and Batman, instead it fucked them sideways into an open grave. Sucker Punch, was the most hollow, empty, emotionless, pointless experience i have ever had watching a film. I cant even say it was bad, as feeling it was bad is at very least an emotional reaction and it made me feel and think nothing. (other than"fuck me that dvd cost me £3.50 to rent, dont i feel like a cunt!)

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:53 a.m. CST

    Cut Sandler some slack.

    by AshMcQ

    If you look at his resumee, you'll realize he actually did a lot of decent movies.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:58 a.m. CST

    How did 11.11.11 not make the list?

    by Arvin Clay

    Holy hell was that a piece of garbage. It made NO fucking sense, I didn't give a toss about any of the characters, and at the end when it was over the director's name came on screen and was met with obscenities. Nothing was as bad as that film.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:59 a.m. CST

    I really enjoyed Atlas Shrugged when I first read it...

    by Billyeveryteen

    Then I grew up.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Well there's no Transformers Dark of Your Asshole because

    by UltraTron

    it was the greatest 3D IMAX motion themepark ride ever done. Even featured a new hot chick in 3D who is hotter than any other actor they've put onscreen in years. It was also technically the most advanced production in motion picture history from several standpoints including the use of the camera they'll be shooting avatar 2 with. It simply looked like you were actually standing on a street in Chicago and giant robots were attacking you. I know you're sad now. You missed it. Blue-ray is great but it ain't 4K projected IMAX yet. Let's hear 1 opinion from someone who gets it and saw it in the proper venue. Well you just heard it. Yada yada, micheal bay. Well he gave me a great themepark ride with this one. That's light years more than I got out of moneyball last night when it put me to sleep. Hey I usually bash him too. It's just in this case he made the greatest superhero giant robot movie ever made. Transformers are a marvel comic and I consider transformers 3 to be the most epic marvel movie that ain't.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:02 a.m. CST

    I remember seeing the trailer for 3 Musketeers...

    by LargoJr

    Made me feel bad for Milla. It's inexplicable how someone built like a 10-year old boy can also be so devastatingly beautiful when she gets herself cleaned up and well rested

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Juvenile Hyperbole.

    by Ian

    Disgusting. Why are Americans only able to see things as black or white, good or evil?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:03 a.m. CST

    No Cowboys and Aliens?

    by sunwukong86

    I was so disappointed by that film. It was one action film cliche after another. Such a wasted opportunity

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Massa nails it

    by angry_spacboy

    although i would have Jack and Jill on my list instead of sucker punch. I agree sucker punch was terrible, but j&j was utter shite.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Suckerpunch doesn't deserve to be on that list.

    by Breotan

    I can understand if you don't like it, and I certainly wouldn't put it in any top 10 list, but it really isn't the kind of shit that the rest of these movies are. idonotseekabanning is right about one thing, his analogy of Suckerpunch being P!nk is spot on. I guess it come down to who you like more, P!nk or Mel Tillis.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:06 a.m. CST

    I read 800 of the 1,000 pages of Atlas Shrugged.

    by knowthyself

    I'd say the first 400 pages make a good point about self determination and the power of the human spirit and I like the focus on the importance of hard work. Then the characters undermine their morality with an affair and by the time Dagney arrives in Rich mans heaven I was done with this book. Absurd and over the top. But I would have watched Atlas Shrugged part 3 just to get to this part so I could see the giant dollar sign in the middle of rich mans heaven. To give you an idea of how wacked Ayan Rand was, when asked if she could have edited down the book she said, "Would you edit the Bible?" So there you have it.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Man of Steel

    by Eric Hines

    Haven't really been following production. Does this movie show any promise or will it be terrible? I'd like a good Supes movie, but Snyder seems to be getting a lot of hate.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:07 a.m. CST

    The problem with Cowboys and Aliens.

    by knowthyself

    The title is wacky and fun. In the film not a single character is having fun. So I in turn had no fun watching them have no fun in a film that should have been fun and over the top and pure joyous insanity. You could also say this was a problem with Sucker Punch. When did characters in silly movies stop having fun?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:10 a.m. CST

    I know this is 2011's List....

    by PopCultureJunkie

    ....but I believe your rationale for Atlas is incorrect. If you are slamming the film for it's flimsy ideas and labeling it propoganda then wouldn't this also apply to "Passion of the Christ"? The "it might not be the best movie ever made" is a terrible argument(I agreed) but you cannot say you don't understand the stance. Simply, people are siding with a film that mirrors their beliefs and this was done in overwhelming fashion with "Passion of the Christ". So, my question is should a film's ideas or propoganda be judged when reviewing film quality or should it remain strictly with the script, acting, directing, cinematography, etc.? It seems to me that you are more hating on Atlas because you do not agree with a group of people that you believe are completely incorrect. The exact same mindset can be seen with Passion of the Christ. Passion was a solid film. Now, I'm not posting to confirm my beliefs (I'm an agnostic for the record) but I believe your choice for Atlas is incorrect. At least for what you listed above. You can go on and say, "read my whole review" but you give an explanation for each movie that supposedly sums up your conclusions to why a film was bad and when that's the case, it's obvious that you have a problem with the propoganda and it base this for your reasoning of a bad film.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Atlas Shrugged takes it by a mile

    by proevad

    Watched 1 hour and 11 minutes of it and wanted to kill myself. Made it through 1 hour and 18 minutes of Transformers 3 if that tells you anything. Btw, where the fuck is it on the list? Or was that last years turd?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:19 a.m. CST


    by proevad

    I can name two. When I'm taking a long dump later I'll try and think of another one.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Zack Snyder is an art director

    by kwisatzhaderach

    not a film director. The new Superman film is going to be a complete fucking disaster.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Nothing grows in my cock shadow! Nothing!

    by Jarek

    The one legitimately funny line in the otherwise groan-inducing experience that is Bucky Larsen. Delivered by Stephen Dorff, no less.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Damn, this reads better than most "Best Of" lists

    by kidicarus

    Gotta check that Uwe Boll film out. I forgot about that guy.

  • Such a silly non American question.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Mars needs moms is worse than all these.

    by UltraTron

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Massa, what the hell is a bathtub girl at a frat party?

    by Somerichs

    And why would a frat guy pop after swarming one? Seriously, I consider myself fairly well-tuned to pop culture, but you totally lost me on that one. I'm sitting here trying to work out in my head what that could possibly be/mean, but, in the words of the immortal warrior poet Bob Destepello, I'm drawing a complete....blank.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:57 a.m. CST

    I'm an asshole who loved Sucker Punch

    by TheLastCleric

    Sucker Punch is a pure work of art in the same sense that something like Tree of Life is; the raw and unfettered vision of a director working entirely independent of studio impediments and obstacles and creating something that is a distillation of his narrative and aesthetic sensibilities. The problem with this approach is that it will inevitably leave audiences polarized because such undiluted expression can rarely (if ever) achieve universal acclaim and in some cases many people (and critics) will simply dismiss the work as pretentious or, in Snyder’s case, as some vapid, adolescent propulsion through male fantasy and a clunky fusion of various themes and concepts cribbed from other sources. Personally, I loved the film and would rank it in my personal Top Ten for the year because not only did I find it brilliant on a technical level but I loved the unconventional nature of the narrative. What I do find odd is why this film was so egregiously dismissed as fluff when in the same breath such people clamor for innovation and uniqueness. That isn’t to state that you have to love this film or that there is something intellectually lacking if you did not enjoy it but to dismiss it outright when the artistic flourishes and technical merits are so obvious seems short-sighted. And including the film on a list that contains Zookeeper and The Three Musketeers seems fucking retarded but hey, this is AICN.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Another Earth and Adjustment Bureau

    by Marc Cerasini

    How can this dreck be left off of any worst movie list?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:59 a.m. CST

    I wonder what would happen to a person...

    by v3d

    if they were forced to watch all ten worst movies Clockwork Oranges style.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:59 a.m. CST


    by v3d

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10 a.m. CST


    by chifforobe

    I agree with that, he's a production designer for sure. 300 was his best effort, and I can't help thinking he had a lot of help from a powerful story and a solid crew. But it seems, because of that he got branded as 'the ultimate comic-adaptation guy', and now we're stuck with him. Just like we have to suffer Keanu Reeves as the 'sci-fi leading man' because the Matrix was such a success. It's really annoying if you're like me, and didn't even love 300 and the Matrix all that much.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:02 a.m. CST

    What's everyone'sroblem with The Adjustment Bureau?

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    I liked that movie as kind of a Twilight Zone throwback...corny in a good way.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:08 a.m. CST


    by Michael

    Interesting how you criticize "black and white" thinking with the same type of stereotyping. Look in the mirror lately?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:13 a.m. CST

    I enjoyed Adjustment Bureau...

    by LargoJr

    It was earnest with just a bit a dark undertone of 'man against the Machination of Bureaucracy'.. it was very heart-felt without getting TOO heavy, or even preachy. Just a nice little Twilight Zone style tale of self determination. I guess it just couldn't find it's footing in a market dominated by massive 2-hour long effects shots and one person repeatedly screaming anothers name :(

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:14 a.m. CST


    by palewook

    its my worst film of 2011.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:14 a.m. CST

    Did you just compare tree of life to sucker punch?

    by knowthyself

    Cause I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:16 a.m. CST


    by chifforobe

    Giving the director creative control is only the second step on the road to making a good movie, the first is picking a writer/director with a real vision. "Suckerpunch" is unique only in the most shallow sense: we haven't seen all of these conventional things arranged this arbitrarily and awkwardly before. I'd add that even if it were clearly an original and personal vision, it still might suck-- but at least the effort could be respected. "Suckerpunch" was just an expensive and boring video game.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Yeah.. Conan was a real shit-burger...

    by LargoJr

    I made my arguments against it as so: Couple of problems I had with the film. Conan is a Cimmerian.. the LAST one.. The books (and even the Marvel Comics) were endlessly beating the reader over the head about what an amazing and brutal warrior clan they were. Ok fine. So how does the film start out? An entire party of young Cimmerians have to race for their spot in the hunting party, and at the 1st sign of trouble they all turn tail and bail. Seriously? Cimmerians, even YOUNG Cimmerians, aren't going to run, no matter what. But the movie needs to show show just how SPECIAL Conan is. Fine, so now we've established that Cimmerian men are all pussies, except for young Conan.. he's special stuff. Umm.. ok. Part of what helped make the '82 film EPIC was how young Conan was taken as a slave and forced thru brutality and hardship to become this monster juggernaut of skill and power, all while his companions fall by the wayside thru death and failure, till only HE is left standing. It culminates with possibly one of the most popular quotes of modern film War Lord: "Conan, What is best in life?" Conan: "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women." The current film even spells out how the boy is poorly trained and unprepared for combat by Pops when he spars with him and declares Conan is not yet ready for steel. Fine.. jump a decade or so ahead after Pops croaks (God I'm tired of seeing Ron Perlman die in movies), and now Conan is all big & strong, and somehow learned how NOT to cut off his own toes when swinging a sword. Greeeeeaaaat. So glad we also get to see Conan age yet nobody else did. Oh wait.. we DIDN'T get to see him age. Or change, or improve, or struggle.. And about people describing the music as 'beautiful'? You're insane... it was mediocre at BEST.. and doesn't hold a candle to the greatness of Basil Poledouris's music in the '82 film. Oh, and anyone who argued about the Clans planning on uniting for vengeance.. didn't/wont happen, cause Zym specifically states he killed them all at one point in the film.

  • I'm one of those guys who, if I don't catch it in the theaters, I'll watch a movie on DVD or Netflix. With a summer full of some good popcorn movies, I somehow missed Bridesmaids. Don't ask me how, but I did. Anyway. Ever since it came out, people have been raving about it. "It's so funny" this. "I never laughed so hard" that. "Funniest movie of the years" so and so. "Melissa McCarthy steals every scene" blah blah blah. FINALLY, I got down to watching it on DVD a few weeks ago. Yeah....Ummmm.... Not so funny. Okay. I'll give it to you. There are a few funny-ish scenes, but it really wasn't a laugh out loud sort of movie. Even the shitting & vomiting scene was pretty underwhelming. I'd hardly call Melissa McCarthy's, "It's coming out like lava." declaration scene stealing. It WAS the funniest element of the scene, and probably the movie, but it wasn't all that. McCarthy, while a funny woman in her own right, definitely wasn't a breakout star here. She was just cartoony. I guess, after all the hype, I was expecting a movie that was funnier than it actually was. For all the hype, it was certainly NOT any sort of She-Hangover. It wasn't a typical chick flick, but it was pretty mellow. It certainly wasn't "raunchy" by any stretch of the imagination, which is what many reviews and fans claimed. I can easily see this movie getting aired on TV without being down to 20 minutes. Bridesmaids is probably only what my grandmother would consider to be raunchy. Bridesmaids isn't a bad movie, but it isn't as great as people claim. I guess that it's Hamlet compared to the typical Jennifer Aniston Romcoms, but it's a VERY average comedy. For that reason, it's on my own personal "worst" list. Like Sucker Punch or Green Lantern, it earns its place on the list for teasing you with promises it never delivers on. You won't gouge your eyes out after watching, but you likely will forget about it 60 minutes later. I'd say that it's bad for not being (as) great (as promised).

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:20 a.m. CST

    The people defending Snyder and Suckerpunch....

    by hank henshaw

    ... are you guys doing that only because Nolan chose him to direct "Man of Steel"?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Best of worst of

    by Dr.007

    Massa, simply one of the best articles on this site relating to all of 2011. kind of puts to shame all the blathering spineless reviews that are getting more numerous on this site. It arrives with the joyous relief of that first formed shit after a long painful run of diarrhea. Oh wait that was Transformers 3

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Red Riding Hood is by far the worst film of 2011

    by Powers Boothe

    Anyone here watch it?

  • Ordinarily i'd say that C.A., Thor, Super 8, FF5, Hugo, was bad, but the shit was really shit last year so these movies were actually elevated to 'meh' status.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Conan the Last Shit-Burger pt2

    by LargoJr

    The motivation behind the plot of the film was kind of retarded. Break up the mask, and send the pieces out across the lands to keep hidden from anyone who might seek to remake it. *blink* Why?? The mask can be damaged.. and it can be broken.. that's established with it being broken in to PIECES. So why not break it up into REALLY FUCKING SMALL pieces... in other words, sand.. or even DUST.. then just dump it in the ocean or a lake or river.. whatever.. WTF is the point in saving pieces? Another stupid plot point. The story revolves around Khalar Zym finding all the pieces, assembling the mask, and using the 'Pure Ones' blood to resurrect Zym's dead wife, the Queen of Hell, or whatever. Khalar is portrayed as this seriously (pinky finger to lips) 'eeeeeeeeeeeviiiillllll' & ruthless person: torture, genocide, ritual desecration... pretty much bargain basement run of the mill fodder for this guy. His daughter TELLS him, she's ready to take bone pipe lessons any time, day or night, just say the word.... But he's having NONE of it. Nope.. gonna wait for his dead wife to not be dead instead.. HUH? Wait.. aren't you supposed to be all really evil and stuff? Hmm.. guess even EVIL has to draw the line somewhere. Oh well

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Seriously? The Three Musketeers?

    by abe

    That was the best movie I saw in a long time. Pure popcorn, fun, and entertainment - with some great dialogue reparte. You don't know what's good anymore it looks like.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:27 a.m. CST

    powers boothe

    by LargoJr

    No.. as I've said in the past.. You don't have to hang your dick in a camp-fire to know the experience is going to suck.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:28 a.m. CST

    The Muppets sucked

    by FeralAngel

    There I said it. Let the hate from those who simper over the "sweetness and innocence and tolerance" philosophy of the Muppets begin. That dud of a movie would top my Worst List this year. I didn't even want to see it, but I went with my sister and her kids to a (mostly-empty) matinee over New Year's. And I even though I know the kind of "You troll! You hater! You have no soul!" replies I'll probably get from the Muppet Mafia on this site, I still must ask: WHY is this film getting so much geek love? I'm a geek myself. I even kinda liked Scott Pilgrim (though the manga was waaaayyyyyy better). But this Muppets film was ASS. Huge plot holes bigger than Kermit's flapping mouth. Voices that were not just unrecognizable, they were horrible (Fozzie sounded like he snorted helium. What the hell?) Jason Segel's performance was limper and moister than the hands inside the puppets. The muppet-loving dude actually looked UNCOMFORTABLE acting with them. Sticky is perhaps the best word for it. Amy Adams was wasted (and her eyes looked red throughout the film. You talk about red-eye...god, was she ill during the filming?) My sister is a Muppets fan (because of the kids, she says) and SHE didn't like it. The kids were a pain, bored and restless and a handful. We left early. The next day we went to see Hugo and the kids had a MUCH better time, I guess partly because there were other kids onscreen. I'm sure people here will say I'm biased because I bashed the movie before it premiered (do we need more Muppet movies when all of the post-Henson ones have all sucked?) but this film nonetheless lived down to my expectations. So let the hate begin. But just for the record, I don't care.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:29 a.m. CST

    An astute list, Massa

    by slone13

    But I'd put JACK AND JILL on there before BUCKY LARSON. I think BATTLE: LA belongs on there too. Mostly because I think the trailer gave me high hopes and the movie quite literally put me to sleep in the theater. (The only other film in my life I've fallen asleep in at the theater was CLUB PARADISE.)

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:38 a.m. CST


    by Err

    Another pathetic list from Massawyrm. It's almost as pathetic as his movie reviews. Really? Atlas Shrugged Part I? Really?!?! In a year that gave us Jack and Jill, Apollo 18, I Don't Know How She Does It, and Just Go With It, you choose Atlas Shrugged? You claim that propaganda in and of itself is bad? Propaganda is out there to promote a particular ideology or belief to influence the attitude of the audience to help out yourself or your cause. Michael Moore has made documentaries that fall under this whether it be in response to the car companies of Detroit, gun control, or the health care system of America. Are you telling me it's bad because it promotes a particular point of view with the hope that the audience will agree with it? Because Fahrenheit 9/11 is "bad" under your definition of propaganda being bad. All Quiet on the Western Front should fall under this as well and I'm guessing you say "Fuck you" to the fact that it is on AFI's top 100 films of all time list.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Everyone bitches about 'I'm tired of CGI'

    by SmokingRobot

    But when they make an intelligent movie like 'The Adjustment Bureau' it's not 'exciting enough' for them. Movies for adults are a vanishing breed....

  • Wall Street 2 was fucking insufferable and bad in every way that the original was good. Absurd to watch. Adjustment Bureau was just sci-fi done absolutely wrong. Thinly veiled theology, stupid made rules, magical fedoras, and a weakness to water (nonsensical in every way). This movie, besides the performance of Emily Blunt (who is lovely and exciting and charming) that movie was a massive fuck up. An excuse to put matt damon in a fedora for twenty minutes. Truly embarrassing. But again, not nearly as bad as Wall Street. I didn't see a single movie on this list, but only because it was obvious how terrible they are. My "worst" lists would probably consist more of movies that had every right to be good and completely disappointed and failed in their attempt. That's worse, to me, than just being outright bad. Battle: Los Angeles also belongs not that list. As so many have said already, what a hideously boring disappointment.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:45 a.m. CST

    Sorry buy I have a huge soft spot for Sucker Punch

    by Powers Boothe

    Yeah, I'm well aware of its flaws but I still kinda admire how batshit it was. The production design/art direction and visual effects were astonishing and I liked the (unexpected) musical numbers. It's obviously not a film for everyone and the predictable "only a moron could like this film" attitude in the Talkbacks makes me roll my eyes. To be honest I found Sucker Punch far more interesting than Thor, Captain American and the X-Men prequel which were all strangely artless. So yeah, I'm that arsehole who digs Sucker Punch :)

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:47 a.m. CST

    the fact that so many movies were left off the worst list

    by durhay

    is not on Massa. It just shows that way too many horrible films are put out each year.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:49 a.m. CST

    And shouldn't the last Twilight be on this list?

    by JackSlater4

    I haven't seen it yet, but based on the 2 I have seen so far it can't be that good.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:49 a.m. CST

    ashmcq, I'll cut Sandler some slack when he stops producing crap like

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Paul Blart: Mall Cop. He should change the name from Happy Madison Productions to My Non-Talented Friends Need the Work Productions.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:51 a.m. CST

    The only part of "Suckerpunch" I found entertaining

    by ufoclub1977

    Was the dragon stuff at the castle and with the plane. It just looked cool. On bluray. Otherwise we were kind of laughing at all the aspects of the movie... but.... It's better than "Fire and Ice"! That shit is funny. And it would fit right into "Heavy Metal" the movie if it was short. In terms of what it was trying to do. "Heavy Metal" had some weak ass, low denominator stories too. Woah, those are old references. "Suckerpunch" is considered more vile because it was so high profile. But you can see a downward path from the great "Dawn of the Dead" remake to the lukewarm flash of "300" to the strangely dead "Watchmen" to the downright silly "Suckerpunch". Give the man a great script! But then let the actors improv to bring it some energy.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Another truly awful 2011 film was The Dilemma.

    by Powers Boothe

    What were they thinking?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Speaking of unfunny Kevin James

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

  • Of Sucker Punch

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:02 a.m. CST will clap like a retarded kid on ice cream day.

    by Jeffrey

    Fucking epic.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:06 a.m. CST

    sound is AMAAAAAZING

    by JackSlater4

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Ayn Rand stole most of her ideas from Satan

    by cookylamoo

    The virtues of selfishness for example.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Zach Snyder

    by gaygoonie

    It all started with the overpraising of the not-so- brilliantly scripted Dawn of the Dead remake.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Sucker Punch was best watched with the sound off

    by Rob0729

    It was an orgy of visual images, but the story and acting was abismal. Jamie Chung is one of my favorite completely talentless actresses, but watching her was even unbearable.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:26 a.m. CST


    by gotilk

    Propaganda IS bad. It's a manipulation of the uneducated. Usually that way by design. Read up, bub.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:26 a.m. CST

    I agree with Cowboys and Aliens needed to be on the worst list

    by Rob0729

    What a waste of talent. Favreau, Ford, Craig, Sam Rockwell, Keith Carradine, Paul Dano, Olivia Wilde. All deserved much better than this. What a downer bore. It also was the cheapest looking big budget movie I have ever seen. They spent over $160 million to make this movie and I have seen movies with a third of the budget look more like a big budget movie.

  • In no way Cap was better than Sucker Punch. Everything was or terrible or pathetic or propaganda. Sucker Punch was 100 times more honest in its mindless action.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:38 a.m. CST

    re: sucker punch.

    by knowthyself

    How can you enjoy action scenes when there is zero tension or sense of danger?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Was this year a bumper crop for crap movies? Or just me?

    by impossibledreamers

    Seems like a lotta' clunkers this year compared to some previous. But then again it seems like there were quite a number of movies out.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Ayn Rand's Philosophy - Objectivism

    by Dan Halen

    These are the basic tenets. Rather than mis-informed diatribes and ad hominem attacks debate the ideas and concepts behind them. 1. Reality exists as an objective absolute—facts are facts, independent of man’s feelings, wishes, hopes or fears. 2. Reason (the faculty which identifies and integrates the material provided by man’s senses) is man’s only means of perceiving reality, his only source of knowledge, his only guide to action, and his basic means of survival. 3. Man—every man—is an end in himself, not the means to the ends of others. He must exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing himself to others nor sacrificing others to himself. The pursuit of his own rational self-interest and of his own happiness is the highest moral purpose of his life. 4. The ideal political-economic system is laissez-faire capitalism. It is a system where men deal with one another, not as victims and executioners, nor as masters and slaves, but as traders, by free, voluntary exchange to mutual benefit. It is a system where no man may obtain any values from others by resorting to physical force, and no man may initiate the use of physical force against others. The government acts only as a policeman that protects man’s rights; it uses physical force only in retaliation and only against those who initiate its use, such as criminals or foreign invaders. In a system of full capitalism, there should be (but, historically, has not yet been) a complete separation of state and economics, in the same way and for the same reasons as the separation of state and church.

  • Curious how the idea of being shocked by a films content can translate into "entertainment" for some.<p> Those here characterizing Ayn Rand's philosophy as "authoratative" or "conservative" are putting their idiocy on display. This comes from people who have only a general idea of her views and background... and/or... those who find her ideas a threat to the tribal, herd-like, 'group think' mentality they are a immersed in. <p> I will never watch the film because it looks like utter garbage (not to mention plodding and boring as hell just like the book). But I suspect most would rank it 'worst' not just because it is inept film making but rather to display their 'progressive' bonafides to the rest of the herd.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Yay! Massawyrm!!

    by JudasPriestly

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:53 a.m. CST

    My lists

    by cookepuss

    I'm not into Oscar movies. Don't expect tearjerkers or high brow flicks here. I'm a popcorn flick fan myself. That said.... Worst (no particular order): 1. The Rite: Everybody saw this and I don't know why. It was awful. Creepy for that scene with the exorcism of the girl and then it goes waaaaaay downhill from there. Hopkins possessed should be scary, but it's just sad. To top things off, the movie ends with him exorcised of the demon and he acts like it never happened. I mean... WTF? Does this shit happen to you every Tuesday? 2. Green Lantern: I wanted to like GL. I still do. However, with a budget of $200m, I have a hard time excusing all of the problems. For $200m, it not only should work, it HAS to work. It just didn't. Spotty VFX. Miscasting of Reynolds, who hams it up with his usual smarm. Blake Lively at her least attractive. A zero suspense, by the books origin story. Marginalization of Sinestro's role. Peter Sarsgaard doing his best Howard the Duck "Dark Overlord" impression. It was just hard to watch. Even the debut of new Cartoon Network show was better. 3. Cowboys & Aliens: I don't get it. Where did this go wrong? Everything should have worked, but it did't. Cowboys are cool. Aliens are cool. It stars those James Bond and Indiana Jones' no name stars. ;) Even Olvia Wilde, in her own Olive Oyl way, is hot. What happened? Well.... The story was boring. There wasn't enough action. There was too much posturing, but not enough characterization. The lighting was inconsistent, to the point of ruining the drama of certain scenes. The aliens were nothing more than crazy extraterrestrial gold miners. I never left a movie wanting my money back before. My wallet cried after watching C&A. 4. Alvin and the Chipmunks 3: You have to be 4 years old to like this movie. Scratch that. I know 4 year olds who would throw their drinks at the mere sight of these singing rats. Jason Lee, how low you've sunk. Looks like Earl needs to add one more thing to his list. Could anybody sink lower? 5. Smurfs: I stand corrected. Et tu, NPH? 6. Cars 2: Let me start by saying that I am NOT a Pixar fan. They've had a few genuinely good movies (eg. Incredibles & Monsters Inc.), but I've long grown tired of their anthropomorphism schtick. I'm also tired of them passing off recycled ideas as their own; I'm talking to you Doc "Cars" Hollywood and John-E 5. I'm also tired of their G/PG mindset, especially when it means that little kids are going to kick me in the back in the theaters. So, it comes as no surprise that I absolutely hated the sequel to my least favorite Pixar movie of all time. Hoodwinked 2 was what it was, the barely seen sequel to a shoestring CG movie that more badly animated than it was just bad. Pixar had no excuse, unless you count Disney's lust for sequels. Best (no particular order): 1. Limitless: There are some movies that are great and some that are just great fun. Limitless was the latter for me. It was certainly the most pleasantly surprising movie I've seen in a while. To me, Bradley Cooper really showed that he had decent range and could carry a movie on his own. Plus the concept was definitely novel. The execution wasn't 100% perfect, but it left me more satisfied than not. 2. Captain America: There were a lot of superhero movies in 2011. X-Men was great because it wasn't the train wreck people expected - and that Fassbender nobody. ;) Thor was great because it captured that gilded Jack Kirby world so wonderfully. Captain America was different. I wish that Red Skull was more menacing in the final battle, but there was something very magical about the movie. It was both retro and contemporary. There was the usual high concept superhero stuff, but the film felt very grounded and even wholesome. Chris Evans also did the impossible. For 2 hours, I stopped seeing him as Johnny Storm. 3. Super: Okay. This is a bit of a cheat. Super is a 2010 film, but it didn't actually hit audiences mainstream til April 2011. IMO, this was the best superhero movie nobody saw. It really was. Imagine Kick-Ass with 1/12 the budget. Want a show stealer? I give you Ellen Page's "Boltie" character. She's equal parts bubbly, psychotic, geeky, and hot - which is near impossible for a chick built like an elf. Best sidekick ever though. And Rainn Wilson.... You will never just see him as Dwight Schrute again. If you ever see him with a wrench.... RUN! I loved Kick-Ass. I really did. However, this movie succeeded in areas where Kick-Ass fell short. "Patrolling" in the real world is as boring as you'd expect. Putting a costume on a potential schizophrenic loser doesn't make him a hero. It just makes him more pathological. Not one person has the awesome/problematic near superhuman performance of Hit-Girl. When people get hurt..... Poor Boltie. And, c'mon. It has freakin' Kevin Bacon as the bad guy. How awesome is that? 4. Drive: Need I say more? 5. Hobo with a Shotgun: You either love or you hate this sort of thing. Me? I eat it for breakfast. Yummy crunchy hobos. ;-) And how did "Mr. Popper's Penguins" make nobody's worst list?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:55 a.m. CST

    uberfreak, The Adjustment Bureau climax

    by Spandau Belly

    Honestly, the only thing that could've been even stupider was if Matt Damon got a restraining order against God.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Right....And Satan also argues for self-interest.

    by cookylamoo

    Like telling Jesus to save his own ass rather than die for his followers.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:55 a.m. CST

    War Horse Should Be On This List

    by DeckardB26354

    Seriously. War Horse is not only the worst Spielberg film of all time but it's one of the most laughably wrong movies I have ever seen. You can't watch it without your mouth agape, wondering if it's a total parody of schmaltz in general.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:57 a.m. CST

    that you will clap like a retarded kid on ice cream day.

    by Sean1701

    Nice insensitive tool. Couldn't think of anything for whimsical than that?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, noon CST

    Sean1701 Your need to feel morally superior is retarded.

    by cookylamoo

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Sucker Punch

    by bralli

    Now and then there is a really bad movie that for some reason my twisted little brain really loves. I loved Sucker Punch. :shame:

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:06 p.m. CST

    Sucker Punch Vs. G.L.

    by adml_shake

    I'd watch Sucker Punch a hundred times over before I watched Green Lantern again.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:11 p.m. CST

    What about SW Episodes I II and III?

    by BilboRing

    They were so bad they should be on the worst list each and every year. EACH AND EVERY YEAR!!!

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Entertaining list, as always.

    by gotilk


  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Watch Red Letter Media's 2-part review of Jack & Jill

    by Shut the Fuck up Donny

    ...and it will become very clear why that may be the worst film of 2011 (and maybe the century).

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:21 p.m. CST

    No mention of GL or TF DoTM? what the fuck Massawormhole?

    by Stalkeye

    However, I !00% agree with your sentiment towards Sucker Punch. Zac should turn in his Director's chair for making that shitfest and anyone who defends that film is obviously desperate for any action movie that is pretentious and not as high concept as many are led to believe. Atlas worse than Corman's FF? ouch! Those are fighting words.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:21 p.m. CST

    That VERY last line of dan halen's post is VERY important

    by gotilk

    The question of whether or not the philosophy applied would work has never truly been tested. It is, unfortunately, quite Utopian. I have always thought that most of it made perfect sense. And there's the rub. That's true for far too many people. We MOSTLY recognize that it makes perfect sense. And take a guess where it would start. Bottom-up? Top-down?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:21 p.m. CST

    This guy's a jackwagon.......

    by TheFifthCylon

    Both Sucker Punch and Atlas Shrugged were great.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:23 p.m. CST


    by Rupee88

    My god did you just call Adjustment Bureau, an "intelligent movie". You must have made really poor grades in school.. C student or worse. That movie was so dumb and anyone who likes it is far from intelligent or anything close to it.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:24 p.m. CST


    by Sean1701

    Please elaborate. I work with mentally handicapped children and found this reference to be unnecessary is making a point.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:27 p.m. CST

    Massa writes better vitriol than most.

    by Gabba-UK

    Even gives Frankie Boyle a run for his money. I say this as a compliment by the way.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:34 p.m. CST

    you blocked this shit like women block the pain of pregnancy.

    by schadenfreudian

    {slow clap} well played, Massa.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:41 p.m. CST

    My bad, I thought Sucker Punch came out in 2010.

    by bubcus

    We rented the movie and didn't mind it. It's the only film on the list here that surprises me. I didn't find it to be the worst movie I saw this year, I found it palatable but I haven't brought myself to watch it a second time. The new Conan the Barbarian film had us blacklisting its director.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:49 p.m. CST


    by Err

    You assume propaganda is to be used on the uneducated but propaganda can be used on the educated as well. The definition of propaganda is: information, ideas, or rumors deliberately spread widely to help or harm a person, group, movement, institution, nation, etc. As I said, by this notion, he (Massawyrm) suggests that propaganda and films that are propaganda are bad. Therefore, most documentaries are bad. Bowling for Columbine attacked the NRA and the widespread use of guns. All Quiet on the Western Front (1930) promoted anti-German and anti-Nazi and even some anti-war messages. By these notions, they are propaganda because they spread information meant to harm a movement, a people, an idea, a nation, etc. Doesn't mean they (the films) are bad. If they were made poorly, it doesn't make them even worse, it just makes them poorly made films. Massawyrm is including Atlas Shrugged because it is both propaganda and poorly made. It being propaganda, whether you believe it is or not, is irrelevant. Bub.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:49 p.m. CST

    I thought Sucker Punch was awesome

    by disfigurehead

    but that's just me I guess

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:53 p.m. CST

    I haven't seen Jack and Jill either

    by Raskolnikov_was_framed

    but I have seen Red Letter Media's takedown of it...and if what they allege is even 10% true Jack and Jill should be #1 on this list

  • Anyone who keeps money in a wallet or bank, or who locks the doors to their apartments or houses, or owns a car or computer, holds more closely to Ayn Rand's philosophy than Barack Obama's. Private property, son. So until you proud progressives start handing over everything you have until there is no one in the world who has less than you, STFU.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:54 p.m. CST

    It bugs me when people call objectivism a "philosophy"

    by Andrew

    In order for it to be a philosophy, it needs an epistemology (which it doesn't have). Its just like people calling "The Gift" or "Embraced by the Light' philosophy. Objectivism is philosophy for people who don't understand what philosophy is.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:56 p.m. CST

    somerichs, I was wondering the same thing

    by jim

    the frat guys swarming the girl in the bathtub analogy was lost on me.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Re: SUCKER PUNCH May Be Bad ...

    by ArmageddonProductions

    ... and I haven't seen the "Director's Cut", so maybe it just got chopped up bad by the studio and may actually only be mediocre, but I'm frankly shocked that this wound up on your "Worst Of' list and YOUR HIGHNESS didn't. In fact, I've noticed it's been absent from many people's "Worst Of" lists for the year, which just stymies me. That goddamn movie is an affront to just about everything -- and I DID see the "Director's Cut" of that one. It's the movie that finally convinced me Danny McBride is starting to believe he's actually "Kenny Powers" from "Eastbound & Down".

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 12:59 p.m. CST

    rsanta74, I had a similar experience with Bridesmaids

    by jim

    Saw it at home after hearing for months how it was the "funniest movie of the year", etc. It was amusing throughout, albeit a bit long. Could have done without the drama surrounding the traumatic act of making cupcakes. And, as others have said, the supporting characters were funny but they are all but forgotten by the end of the movie.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Battle: Los Angeles

    by Neo Zeed

    Total crap.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:07 p.m. CST

    I too enjoyed Sucker Punch

    by jim

    It has its flaws but at least it tried to be something memorable, exploiting the visual medium that film is. I'll take an ambitious mess over lazy filmmaking every time.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:08 p.m. CST

    armageddonproductions, the director's cut of SUCKERPUNCH

    by Spandau Belly

    I think it's better than the theatrical cut but if you hate the movie, it's not going to change your mind. There's the addition of one long scene with Jon Hamm that definately pulls the different levels of the film together a lot better. It also gives Hamm's character more of pressence and a purpose. And the castle battle flows better with the gorey stuff that they had to cut from the theatrical cut. But then there's a musical number that is neither here nor there. It's cute to watch and adds a bit of variety to the movie, but I think the film was fine without it.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:10 p.m. CST

    You know it's a bad year for film

    by hallmitchell

    When garbage like The Green Hornet doesn't make a top ten worst film list.

  • ... but studios blame internet piracy for sagging ticket sales and decreased revenue. Really? So you're saying it has NOTHING to do with the industry spending over a BILLION dollars producing and releasing bubbling crocks of shit last year... and they're shocked we aren't lining up with bibs & biscuits at the trough ready to chow down? Fuck you Hollywood... fuck you in your puckered, hemorrhoid speed-bumped ass.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:17 p.m. CST


    by bralli

    I'm not sure if it was a 2011 movie or not but I tried to sit through that movie and ended up turning it off about 40 minutes into it. I'm all for hyper-stylized martial arts movies (I actually really liked Warrior's Way) but I found that fight scenes in this movie were really just like choreographed dance numbers than actual martial arts. It was unwatchable.

  • ... just couldn't take any more. I think I'm burned out on Ron Pearlman too. Fucker will do anything for a paycheck these days. Has he EVER lived thru the last act in a film? He even dies in his own movie HB2 LOL

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Battle: Los Angeles

    by bralli

    In terms of pure disappointment, this movie would top my worst of list this year. It kind just came across as a theatrical recruitment commercial. As many reviewers mentioned, the characters were so unmemorable that you really had no clue who was who, so there was absolutely no emotional resonance whatsoever. Compare to a similar premise as the movie Aliens where the Marines had very memorable and distinct personalities, so their deaths and sacrifices really meant something.

  • or what? It was hilarious even.

  • Granted some of the mediocre reviews didn't help. I guess I can rent it, sounds like I should stick with the directors cut.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Funny as hell talkback

    by Nerd Rage

    And I'll give Massawyrm's credit since he is missed.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:27 p.m. CST

    over exageration and pompous arrogance = fan boys

    by crashbarbarian

    I'm one so i can call it! But i don't claim to be a movie connisseur who smells the wine and swirls his glass... Know what a movie wishes to achieve and base it upon that. Those of you calling for the heads of Adjustment Bureau and TF3 are either posturing for some misconceived idea of what you think people want film critics to be or you clearly have beef with the message of the movie or the directors vision for it. Sucker Punch was visually exciting (Mass said as much) but failed at the what the director wanted to accomplish, thus his vision was not realized - making it a bad movie Dark of the Moon on the other hand did exactly what anyone expected it to do, it hit the nail on the head of the directors vision and was clearly explained and realized on screen - making it not worthy of this list! Pull your heads out of your bums and because being whiny little girls isn't as fun as you drama queens think it is! CRASHED!

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Not sure how it would be possible to be disappointed

    by Bedknobs and Boomsticks

    by Sucker Punch, as it was obvious from the early trailers and conceptual material that it would be a stinker.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Is Sucker Punch at least worthy to masturbate to?

    by Bedknobs and Boomsticks

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:42 p.m. CST

    BUNRAKU needed leads with charisma and/or physical ability

    by Spandau Belly

    The two leads lacked speed, agility, and charisma. In a martial arts movie that is an excercise in style, that's kinda deadly. A 1980s Burt Reynolds in the Hartnett role would've been nice. And a guy who can actually do some cool flips and kicks in the other role would've been nice too.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:44 p.m. CST

    I hated Bridesmaids.

    by Your Moms Box

    And wanted to like it. I've enjoyed Wiig thus far, and the cast they surrounded her with (the chick from Reno 9-1-1, the quirky girl from The Office, the crazy broad from Get Him to the Greek, and Maya Rudolph) all seemed to point towards something really special. Instead, I left the theater annoyed that the fat girl did a Galifinakis impersonation and remembering that although I know girls poop, I don't need to see it. It should have been called "Maid of Honor" since that was who the movie revolved around. I remember thinking "Oh. That's right, there were other girls in this." during that ending little number where they all sing and dance. The other characters, save for the dueling Maids of Honor, disappear for like 45 minutes after shitting their pants.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:50 p.m. CST

    @ impossibledreamers

    by Breotan

    2010 had Skyline. Even if 2011 had more clunkers, it was still an improvement.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Rand sympathizers

    by Roddy

    Shutup - no one cares if "we live the philosophy" - which is seriously debatable - the movie was laughably horrible. And the book is a misguided, antiquated joke...son. I take pleasure in knowing that you certainly didn't create any fans with such a shit movie. Just made it a laughingstock. Too bad. What I'd like to see is a new HC that has Rand fanboys strung together.

  • than any of the shit in Sucker Punch. But that's just me. Okay I lie. But go jerk off to some porn instead, for the love of Christ. The Adjustment Bureau wasn't terrible, it's just that it could have been so much more. I liked the heart of that film at least.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:53 p.m. CST

    So Sean

    by cookylamoo

    Do mentally handicapped children give any kind of shit about whether they're called "Retarded" or "Mentally Challenged" or "Rufus?" I bet not.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Apesong, you're wrong...

    by Dan Halen

    Objectivism is a fully formed philosophy with all the appropriate branches. See the below link for a brief description of its metaphysics, epistemology and ethics. There are dozens of works by Rand both fiction and non-fiction as well as dozens of works, newsletters, magazines and scholarly journals by other authors on the her and her ideas.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 1:58 p.m. CST

    I liked the ending to Adj. Bureau (spoilers)

    by Nerd Rage

    The idea that God would divert history because a single man was so deep in love with someone appealed to the romantic in me even if doesn't make sense. The movie has silly ideas but that alone doesn't make it a bad movie.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2 p.m. CST

    Objectivist epistemology in brief

    by Dan Halen

    "Man's reason is fully competent to know the facts of reality. Reason, the conceptual faculty, is the faculty that identifies and integrates the material provided by man's senses. Reason is man's only means of acquiring knowledge." Thus Objectivism rejects mysticism (any acceptance of faith or feeling as a means of knowledge), and it rejects skepticism (the claim that certainty or knowledge is impossible).

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2:11 p.m. CST

    I don't understand

    by MorganLeafy

    that you could have seen one of the movies on this list. Well one maybe, but if you've seen two then you're a moron who swallows everything they throw at you. There's no excuses with the abundance of trailers and reviews available at the click of a button.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Progressives are against most forms of private property?

    by Nerd Rage

    Somebody is trying to bring back the red scare. Progressives may support a higher tax rate for the rich but lets not get carried away.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Anytime you attack Rand fans...

    by John Pool

    you will get shit on. Regardless of who's right.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2:21 p.m. CST

    @Total Reality: Dale and Tucker Fight Evil

    by bubcus

    You hated Dale and Tucker Fight Evil? We were howling laughing throughout that film... course it helps that I have two buddies that are very similar to Dale and Tucker. Ah well, "chacun a son truc."

  • Yeah it's a joke. But if they were giving the Ginger One free Toys he'd be giving it glowing accolades and describing how it personally affected his life as a child.

  • Welcome back Massawyrm.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Wow, somebody put The Muppets as his worst movie

    by D o o d

    I can appreciate that you may not have enjoyed it, but to put it no.1 in your least favourite movies is a bit much!

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Sucker Punch: Director's Cut

    by bubcus

    OHHhhh... I see why there is a debate here on Sucker Punch. I only saw the Director's Cut on DVD and I thought the movie was fine. It sounds like the beef with the film is on the theatrical cut (and the Director's Cut being only slightly better and clearer for those that saw both).

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2:30 p.m. CST

    I'm shocked....

    by Brian

    ..this thread has yet to be.............. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ....................coxxed!!!!!!!

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Atlus Shruged

    by PlayerHater_of_the_year

    was a great book (too bad the movie didn't work out). Socialist parasites hate it because it exposes their fake altruistic ideologies as a masquerade for their own inability compete and produce anything of value. They need to leech off the labors of others and do it under the guise of "the common good", the "common" of course being they who do little or nothing but feel entitled to the property of others. Ayn Rand was the first writer to expose these collectivists for what they really are and show how they ultimately destroy a society. Unfortunately the collectivist looters Rand describes now run both political parties in the US and are the architects of the Banking Monstrosity destroying the Western World. They produce nothing but consume everything.

  • Might have lumped The Smurfs or Arthur in there as well, but can't argue with any of the choices presented. (Would have bet money on Happy Feet 2 from you, mind.) Hope to see you back more soon!

  • Thanks to a malfunctioning shark, the final version of Jaws was not what Spielberg originally conceived. Does that make it a bad movie? The 1977 theatrical release of Star Wars wasn't exactly what Lucas had envisioned. We eventually go to see a version that more fully realized what he was going for. Is the '77 version of Star Wars a bad film? Is the '97 version the better film because it is closer to what Lucas was going for? Why should "disappointing", despite being "visually exciting", automatically qualify a movie for top 10 worst of the year? Worst of the Year, to me, means the worst movies. Movies with nothing going for them, with no redeeming elements. Movies that failed on every level to entertain. Movies that actually make you angry you are wasting your time watching. Movies that you actually believe were a complete and total waste of your time (although that would be hard for Massa since those types of movies serve a purpose as evidenced above, so cannot actually be a complete and total waste of time).

  • It seems lately most movie critic's love just bore me to death.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Objectivist epistemology has a flaw...

    by zinc_chameleon

    known as Godel's Incompleteness Theorem(s), which is neither mysticism nor skepticism. Neurophilosophy, which bases its epistemology on neural networking, can handle both mysticism and skepticism with with ease, but that's a discussion for another day.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 2:45 p.m. CST

    Adjustment Bureau was one of the BEST of the year, not worst

    by Mattman

  • I can accept that the lovable muppets aren't for everyone. I know a few people who never liked the muppets but one of the worst films of 2011 is beyond ludacris. If you disliked the movie because u dislike the muppets in general then fine but placing it as one of the worst and not explaining why is just plain silly

  • Do you want to know why you need to use an Ayn Rand website to say why Objectivism is a true philosophy - because Objectivism doesn't exist in any philosophy textbook! Maybe its the liberal agenda of philosophy writers to exclude it (I guess they just didn't understand Hobbes, Heidegger, and Spencer). Or - maybe just defining your epistemology as "there are only facts" coupled with "skepticism is bad" isn't really a philosophy.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:11 p.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    In defense of our Objectivist friends here in this thread, I can say that Objectivism in fact *was* in a number of my college philosophy textbooks, and I studied it in several classes - most notably Ethics.

  • Google it...I dare you.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:16 p.m. CST

    What a terrible list.


    Sucker Punch was fine. I don't know what some of you were expecting from it... The worst movies I saw this year: -Your Highness (should have been shelved) -Transformers: Dark Of The Moon -Battle: LA -In Time -Real Steel (seriously, just watching this was embarrassing) -30 Minutes Or Less -Cowboys & Aliens -X-Men: First Class (a good idea done very poorly; everyone other than McAvoy and Fassbender was awful) -The Green Hornet -Limitless (some of it worked well, most of it didn't)

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Errr . . . .

    by bookant

    No idea where you're getting your "definition" of propaganda, but it's entirely off-base. You seem to be attempting to equate "promotion" or "PR" or even "advocacy" with Propaganda and they are absolutely not the same thing. If you are actually interested in learning more about the topic (and not just a pissed-off Rand cultist), of the science of Propaganda and how works, a great place to start is the book "Propaganda" by Jacques Ellul.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:17 p.m. CST

    nerd rage

    by proevad

    Facts do not exist in their dojo.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Millionares, those middle class dudes?

    by cookylamoo

    There are thousands of Millionaires in the US. Hell, if you figured in the worth of my apartment, I'm a freakin' Millionaire and I make 60 grand a year. The people against takes are corporation lawyers and the chamber of commerce. They're the ones who grease congress for tax breaks.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Tucker and Dale Fight Evil.

    by cookylamoo

    Was way too concerned about trying to be cute.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Apesong and Massa

    by Dan Halen

    Apesong... I've laid out in brief Objectivist epistemology. Debate it on its merits or shortcomings. If you continue avoiding have a real argument then you only highlight your own shortcomings and your own lack of intellectual merits. Massa... Thanks for the fair shake despite your empty rant in the above piece. Would love to discuss and argue Objectivism for real.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Full Disclosure on Atlas Shrugged...

    by Dan Halen

    I haven't seen it yet (I have read it) but the film does look AWFUL from what I have seen and heard.

  • spot on assessment! For that comment, and the part about the scarf providing better narration than Dolph; I laughed heartily. thank you. Thank you very much.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Sucker Punch

    by HoboCode

    While I loathe Zack Snyder and think he's essentailly the newest director to graduate from the Michael Bay School of Souless and Depraved Drivel, I disagree with Wyrm's assessment of the film. While it is not great, mostly due to it's atrocious acting and juvenile fetishistic displays, I don't agree that the action scenes are ultimately meaningless or unimportant to the film or characters. Yes, they are merely metaphors for what is ultimately happening in the girl's escapist fantasy, but that fantasy in itself is also a direct metaphor for what is happening in the real world. In my opinion that gives the film's surreal action sequences weight.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:44 p.m. CST

    As far as Ayn Rand goes....

    by HoboCode

    Her objectivist philosophy made sense to me for a while....then I turned 17.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:44 p.m. CST

    I've just got to say...

    by bubcus

    ... that this is one of the best Talkbacks I have seen in a long time. Everyone is giving great opinions about films they liked or disliked. Awesome read.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:48 p.m. CST

    After watching Sucker Punch again I declare Superman will be...

    by JackSlater4


  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:48 p.m. CST


    by Sean1701

    Yes, despite their mental faculties, most of these people are aware that they are indeed different and that certain words carry negative connotations. End of Discussion.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Sucker punch soundtrack

    by Kill List Hammertime

    My wife loved the film, and made me watch it a couple of times. Not bad, if only for the smoking hot Carla Gugino (spelling?), HOWEVER she went and bought the soundtrack. I will never forgive you Snyder. Sweet dreams my left nut.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Skyline 2010 = Abduction 2011

    by bigbangfan

    Abduction was THE WORST movie I've seen since last year (Skyline still has it beat). It failed on all levels. I didn't expect much, but if you're gonna spend that amount of money, you have to at least know a little bit about telling a story. Movies like Abduction make me not take chances at the theatre...

  • suprise suprise.

  • Of course, if you happen to by a sociopathic hypocrite who longs to be raped by your authoritarian father, then, I'm sure it seems like one of the best.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Movies will only get worse and worse


    When movies like The Darkest Hour can turn a tidy profit you know you're in trouble.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:23 p.m. CST

    The SUcker Punch DC was worse than the theatrical release

    by Monolith_Jones

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Skyline gets maligned because it didn't have a happy ending.

    by cookylamoo

    But if cavemen went up against U.S. marines you'd get the same outcome. The can't handle the truth.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:29 p.m. CST

    People have seemed to forgotten about --

    by MooseMalloy


  • EPIC FUCKING FAILURE. Snyder, dude, stick to what you know -- dumb, but visually exciting and kinetic action flicks. You're not Jane Campion, you're the dude who made the Dawn of the Dead remake (which was decent as far as watered down remakes go, but, you know what I mean). Snyder's not the guy you go to for allegorical feminist manifestoes. He's more the guy you go to for ahistorical, homophobic homoerotic action flix and flat line readings of beloved comics. This whole "visionary" thing is very obviously just a marketing ploy meant to create a Snyder brand, and means absolutely nothing. He proved this beyond a shadow of a doubt with Sucked Punch.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:31 p.m. CST

    All the Sucker Punch hate

    by lowman

    is from whiner fan boys who are still pissed that Snyder left out the Squid at the end of Watchmen. It doesnt belong on the Best of list but it sure as hell doesnt belong on the Wort list either.

  • As much as I am defending Sucker Punch not deserving to be considered one of the 10 Worst of the Year, I do have to disagree with that statement. The fantasy missions had little to do with the stakes in the Club world. In the fantasies it was Baby Doll shown to be leading the charge. In "reality" she was simply the distraction while the other girls did the heavy lifting and were the ones at risk. The only time there was a convergence of the perils faced by the girls in both the Fantasy world and Club world was in the kitchen sequence. All the other times there was little connection between what was happening in "reality" and what was going on on-screen.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:38 p.m. CST

    I found Sweat Pea and Rocket a force to be reckoned with

    by JackSlater4

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:38 p.m. CST

    I didn't mind Sucker Punch.

    by Your Moms Box

    Was it really that bad? Maybe it's because I never read the comics and had nothing invested in it, I kind of enjoyed it. It wasn't great, but as far as comic-book movies go, it wasn't The Spirit either. It certainly wasn't the worst movie I've seen this year. There was plenty of crap more worthy of the drudging I am seeing Sucker Punch take.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:44 p.m. CST

    Well look who is the dumb ass.

    by Your Moms Box

    My bad. I totally assumed that Sucker Punch was based on a graphic novel or comic book. All this talking about it made me actually read about the film (I only saw it in theaters once and never really read anything about it before or after), and discovered it is based on an original screenplay. My bad, nerds. May your wrath be merciful.

  • no wonder you loved sucker punch so much.

  • he comes across almost as stupid and ignorant and arrogant about it as michael bay. and that's a hell of a lot!

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:58 p.m. CST

    dan halen

    by Massawyrm 1

    I think if you go back and reread both my statements here and my review, you'll see that Objectivism and Rand are never addressed or maligned - only the presentation of it on film and the knee jerk defense by fans of a truly terrible film because it represents their belief structure. This isn't PASSION OF THE CHRIST; this is LEFT BEHIND. I even go so far in my review to state that I think it is a pisspoor representation of Rand's writing and I stand by that. I believe a good film could actually be made from that material. In fact I think a pretty cool film could be made from it. This sure as fuck ain't it, though.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 4:59 p.m. CST

    anti objectivism eh?

    by macheesmo3

    why am I not surprised on THE forum for 98 pound weaklings and obese basement trolls... Of course you don't like it. It's the bully in the room who's been kicking your pathetic asses your entire life! nerds are funny

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5 p.m. CST

    Sucker Punch

    by D o o d

    was really really bad. There is no excusing that kind of trash!

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:16 p.m. CST

    I didn't forget about DRIVE ANGRY

    by slone13

    I thought it was a hoot

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:17 p.m. CST

    Maccheesmo3 gargles cockjuice

    by Quackfu

    Or is that not objectivisitic?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:20 p.m. CST

    SCREAM 4

    by dopepope

    How the fuck is this not on the list?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:22 p.m. CST

    ... you will clap like a retarded kid on ice cream day

    by James Stevenson

    That's GOTTA become a DVD Case Blurb at some point. It's an instant classic, and the absolute best blurb I've read since the one (goin' wayyyy back here) for Shakes The Clown: "The Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies". Great list, Massa, and like much of your best work on this site... a bit off the beaten track. Well played, sir.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:25 p.m. CST

    The bullies who tried to kick my ass my entire life

    by Nerd Rage

    work in retail now stocking shelves. Those idiots aren't in the top 50% let alone 1%.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Sucker Punch was cool

    by krabklaw

    Like anime translated into live action. I just don't understand the hate towards it, except that art provokes people and sometimes in a negative way. Sucker Punch is a work of art whether you liked it or not. It's the only movie on this list getting substantial defense and even moved iamnotseekingaban (or whatever it was) to write an extremely wordy analysis of why he didn't like it. I look forward to Snyder's take on Superman.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:48 p.m. CST


    by Pipple


  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:50 p.m. CST

    art123guy, ghost82

    by Ian

    art123guy: Of course you're right. ghost82: Yup, I look American...just joining in the fun.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Sucker Punch sucked

    by Mace Tofu

    because how could you with all those great ingredients cook up such a bore. When I needed room on my DVR that was a easy choice to delete. To set up all that crazy stuff in the movie they needed to show that the Two sisters were video game or anime fans or something. At the start they could of fit in a shot of her seeing the dad go to the door of the little sister as is in the film now and a quick flashback to him walking in on the older sister from her pov that as his face fills the frame pov over to the wall that she now stares at showing some anime or PS game poster like Final fantasy type art. That would of gone a long way to explain all the crazy stuff she sees later in the film. As it is now all that shit comes out of the blue for no reason. State of the art FX means nothing, an old movie like Barbarella has crappy FXs, horrible action scenes and is 100 times more entertaining than SUCKER PUNCH wishes it was.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:55 p.m. CST

    ATLAS SHRUGGED is not "propaganda" anymore than...

    by Chris Moody

    ...1984 is "propaganda." Now, I haven't seen the film...and I can't comment on it. However, ATLAS SHRUGGED is a very good read. I didn't know if I even want to rent the film. However, I think that I will now...just to see if it is bad as you say it is. Still, the book is very good and it would have been great to see Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in a faithful adaptation. Unfortunately, it is difficult for anyone to stand up for principles in an industry that is increasingly run without them (or increasingly opposed to those who have principles that differ from the accepted status quo).

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Poor Alexander Dumas...

    by Chris Moody

    All adaptations of his books are horrendous. The guy must be rolling in his grave.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:58 p.m. CST

    I am still waiting...

    by Chris Moody

    ...for a faithful adaptation of THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO. Most versions of the film are like watching another Zorro film. The book is tragic. He doesn't get revenge. He doesn't get the girl that he loved. The kid is NOT his son. He doesn't keep the entire treasure. But, that is what makes it a masterpiece.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 5:59 p.m. CST

    So I was reading Massawyrms Sucker Punch review


    Thinking to myself, well he obviously didn't like this movie, but he's also so completely full of shit, embellishing this over-the-top review with unneeded hate and venom. Then I read "This movie is career suicide." Hahah. Career suicide you say? (really looking forward to Superman) I really liked Sucker Punch and it's probably because I'm an artist and the film relates to me on the same primal level. I'm a bit confused at all the hate it receives, but at the same time I understand. It's like when my father talks about Van Gogh paintings in a condescending, hateful tone.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:10 p.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    Snyder was in Preproduction on SUPERMAN when SUCKER PUNCH was released. And from what some of us have heard, it negatively impacted the amount of control he has over Supes. If SUPERMAN doesn't pan out, you won't find that statement so funny.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:17 p.m. CST


    by Jason Peacock

    After Dawn of the Dead remake, (one of my favorite Zombie movies, 300, and watchmen, I was very stoked to watch this on the IMAX in 3D. I would give anything to get those two hours back. Zack lost points and credibility in my book and I no longer have any excitement in an upcoming Snyder film.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:21 p.m. CST

    I call bullshit on that massawyrm 1

    by JackSlater4

    We'll see

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:28 p.m. CST



    touche. I think it's going to turn out pretty good. We'll see. If he fucks it up then you could turn out to be right. At least as far as big budget spectacles go.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:29 p.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    Hey, I want nothing more than a badass Superman film. I'm not rooting for failure. But I've seen this happen before.

  • WB wants a good movie too, they own DC.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:35 p.m. CST

    Um, where is Jack and Jill?

    by Heresy

    It was worse than most of those.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:36 p.m. CST

    for me the worst was SHARK NIGHT

    by Adelai Niska

    but then I've only seen one of Massa's ten.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:50 p.m. CST

    macheesmo3, how big a boy are ya?

    by Roger Moon

    I train UFC breh

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:52 p.m. CST

    Not sure I entirely agree with your list

    by psSalieri

    but man, it's good to see you back on this site -- even if only for a moment.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 6:54 p.m. CST

    adelai niska

    by Massawyrm 1

    SHARK NIGHT was my number 11. It was a very tough final call.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:11 p.m. CST

    Shark night

    by Kill List Hammertime

    Is it worth getting as a 3d film? Or is it that bad?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:12 p.m. CST

    I saw Atlas at a littlie socal art theatre...

    by MagicJesus

    It was a delight. When it was over, the owner asked me to manage the theatre, at any salary I deemed appropriate. I politely declined, then disappeared.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:16 p.m. CST

    the worst film of 2011 was Sleeping Beauty, and it's not even close

    by jules windex

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:30 p.m. CST


    by Kill List Hammertime


  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:33 p.m. CST

    Also chop

    by Kill List Hammertime

    There was some classic bits of rape in Hobo With A Shotgun. Admittedly it doesn't have the classic sultry appeal of A Serbian Film, but sometimes you don't want steak just a cheeseburger.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:36 p.m. CST

    Wait... Uwe Boll saw you naked?? Did I miss an article?

    by Meinert Hansen

    If so, link, please - don't want to type your name and "naked" into a search field.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Seriously, people who have movies like...

    by havingsaidthat

    The Adjustment Bureau, Bridesmaids, and Muppets on a worst of list need to see more fucking movies that came out in 2011. Those are good movies and cinema gold compared to some of the shit that came out last year.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Has everyone forgotten how bad The Green Hornet was?

    by Crimson Dynamo

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:50 p.m. CST

    Human Centipede 2 was solid.

    by BigTuna

    Lawrence R. Harvey is terrific in it. One thing about Six is he finds very good, creepy actors to play the villains. The last half is such a wild cluster-fuck.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 7:53 p.m. CST


    by macheesmo3

    6'3" 235 and I'm old. i don't fight. I just call the cops. But I believe I'm correct when I say that most of the anti-objectivism people on this board are weenies. I'm not a big fan of Rand's writing. But I'm a firm believer in the power of the individual and not having a baby sitter govt. But since it seems most of the lefties who populate our country want govt to do everything for them. The European socialist model doesn't work (as can be seen in the increasingly bankrupt members of the EU). Cut spending , cut entitlements , cut waste, make our congressman subject to the same insurance, 401k's ...etc as the rest of us. Stop suggesting stupid ideas like universal health care and stay out of my backyard. I do think she is right about allowing the supermen among us to be free to accomplish their dreams. Most of us are twiddling idiots , we need the best of us to lead the way via art,technology and economics. When individuals do criminal things, then punish them for it. Don't increase regulations. One of my biggest beefs with liberals is the knee jerk reactionism. (and one of my biggest beef with the so called neo-cons is the stupid religious crap) Think for yourself, stay away from dogma and lead follow or stay the fuck out of the way. Oh and btw: you can train "UFC" all you want wild man. That doesn't mean you will ever be any good at it. Look at the" ninja" guy they have let write articles on here! lmao that guy was dorkier than a star trek table top game!

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:30 p.m. CST

    Three Musketeers was great fun!

    by Charlie

    I really enjoyed it, it was lots of fun and really entertaining. It never took itself seriously and yeah I had a blast with it. I hope they make a sequel. I think it's a case of a film people judge before seeing it and then don't let themselves enjoy the fun of it as a result. Really entertaining popcorn cinema!

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:37 p.m. CST

    I saw none of these.

    by smudgewhat

    Are movies dying? Where's Kubrick when you need him? Or Fellini? Fuck, I'll even take somebody alive like Lynch. Give me some original ideas to enjoy you Hollywood fucks.

  • was just wrong on every possible level.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 8:54 p.m. CST

    Green Latern was indeed a special kind of suck

    by P

    Poor script. Poor casting (mostly). The Corps should have been referenced but not introduced.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:01 p.m. CST

    Passion Play is brutal

    by ZoeFan

    The screenplay screams above average 8th grader. Megan Fox, I understand, but Bill Murray had to be doing a favor for someone and apparently Mickey Rourke won't even acknowledge he made this movie.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:02 p.m. CST

    It worries me that several people here have praised AS as a novel

    by Monkey Butler

    Think what you will about Objectivism as an ideology, but Atlas Shrugged is a terrible, terrible story. The characters are ciphers, the plot is repetitive and meandering, and the writing is completely artless. It takes over 1000 pages to set out an ideology that was summed up pretty much in its lunatic entirety by some fanboy TB'er earlier in the thread. And that's not to say anything at all about the immovable object that is 'This is John Galt speaking'. I defy anyone to get through that bullshit of a chapter on the first go through (I skimmed it on the third attempt). Everyone's free to believe whatever pseudo-philosophical garbage they want, but that doesn't mean that a novel should get a free ride. It's objectively bad. Really, really bad.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:03 p.m. CST

    I saw Sucker Punch in March

    by ZoeFan

    And I'm still scratching my head

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:03 p.m. CST

    neonfrisbee, well said.

    by P

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:10 p.m. CST

    regarding worst list(s)

    by sportsguy88

    If one purposely avoids garbage like Zookeeper and everything else on this list, isn't all of this subjective then? For me, Transformers/Thor were PAINFUL to sit thru. Also, don't claim to understand all the hate for Snyder. Loved 300 & Watchmen. Have not seen Sucker Punch, yet.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:17 p.m. CST

    The Audience Shrugged

    by berserkrl

    _Atlas Shrugged_ is one of my favourite novels. I've been fantasising about a film version ever since 1979. When I finally watched this film, I nearly fell asleep.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:20 p.m. CST

    @monkey butler

    by berserkrl

    So according to you, what's the book's secret? Why is it so enormously popular and inspiring -- including among readers who don't buy all her philosophical and political positions?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 9:50 p.m. CST

    I never read Atlas Shrugged


    Although it's been recommended to me. I found a The Fountainhead laying around(unread) and started reading it. It started off kind of interesting but then I began skipping paragraphs and then pages then chapters then all of the remaining chapters until the last chapter. Dull book but I could see someone salvaging a 1/2 way decent movie out of it. Going to have to pass on the Atlas Shrugged movie. Was interested in seeing it even though the philosophy probably disagrees with me.

  • I've had to put up with a lot of movies in the last decade or so (INCEPTION, KICK ASS, SPEED RACER, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, THE KING'S SPEECH, etc) whose slobbering critical and fan adoration I'm at a loss to explain. They'd never appear on one of my "Best" lists, but I'd sure as hell never put them on my "Worst" either. They're just in a gulf that exists between either list. So it just looks really clumsy and hack-ish for Massa to slam a divisive movie like SP into his "worst" list. You didn't like it, fine, but fuck you, my friend, for trying to make those of us who did enjoy it look like we're suffering from some sort of taste deficit. If you desired our respect, you should have been aware that it had it's supporters and at least tried to look into our point of view.

  • They should be Clockwork Oranged into not being able to make movies. You know, condition them into getting sick everytime they even think of making a movie.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:20 p.m. CST

    the fact that atlas shrugged failed at the bo

    by unclejoe

    kinda proves that there arent enough conservatives to make any conservative film or tv show, profitable so someone wanna explain why we are being force fed wingnut shite on the radio?

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:23 p.m. CST

    snyder isnt very bright

    by unclejoe

    he is great looking, looks about 15 years younger than his actual age, is a total geek, and makes really good looking movies and tv commercials but he doesnt understand the human condition...or how to direct actors the brains in the family is his hawt wife

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:29 p.m. CST

    I think Atlas failed because

    by DougMcKenzie

    Most political extremists of whatever flavour seem to like being directly preached to instead of having the philosophy displayed in metaphors. If Atlas Shrugged was two hours of the characters saying "Immigrants are to blame for everything", or "Our Black President is part of the Muslim Brotherhood and wants to institute Sharia Law" then it makes $100 mil easy. Anyways Rand was a sociopath who saw no value in the social aspects of a human life. Friends don't matter, family is just a drag on you, and whoever dies with the most toys wins. Sorry, Ayn, I like helping people, and people's appreciation at being helped. I like conversation without hidden agenda or just to further your wealth.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:42 p.m. CST

    Ayn Rand in the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy

    by berserkrl

    @apesong & others -- quote: you need to use an Ayn Rand website to say why Objectivism is a true philosophy - because Objectivism doesn't exist in any philosophy textbook: quote The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy seems to think she's a philosopher:

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:51 p.m. CST


    by berserkrl

    quote: Friends don't matter, family is just a drag on you, and whoever dies with the most toys wins. :quote Sounds like you haven't read much Rand. Rand argued that we should be willing to die to save our friends, and portrays this value in her novels. She cared very little about material wealth, and described those who cared primarily about getting rich as "despicable." She did say that "love of money is the root of all good," but if you look at the context what she's recommending that we love is not HAVING money, but rather the IDEA of money as an expression of production and trade, of voluntary rather coercive exchange. Actual possession of material wealth ranks very low on Rand's scale of values, as is obvious from The Fountainhead.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Rand lost in my head

    by Jeff

    To Sartre. Then I started crying.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:04 p.m. CST

    Sucker Punch was bad, Battle:LA worse...

    by Joaquin_Ondamoon

    I liked 'Watchmen' (so sue me) so I was pretty pumped for 'Sucker Punch'. Missed it in the theater, bought the blu - shut it off halfway thru (yay! It rhymes!) Was expecting so much more; got 'Watchmen' meets 'Showgirls'. Perhaps I'll revisit it when I'm feeling more masochistic. Didn't 'hate' it - just couldn't be bothered finishing it. That being said - 'Battle' was the worst tripe I've seen all year: Horrible, unintentionally hilarious dialog ('Maybe I can help. I'm a Veterinarian!'), stock cookie-cutter characters I could give a fuck about (the guy who's gonna get married, the gruff, experienced Gunny sargeant, the young know nothing, out of his element Lt., on and on...), the gigantic plot holes you could pilot a starship through (spacefaring culture uses ballistic weapons? Really?)....endless... Hands down, worst movie I saw this year - and I PAID good money to see it. Didn't even have the option of hitting eject. Couldn't leave the theater, since I went with a buddy. I felt like Malcolm McDowell in 'Clockwork Orange'. Should totally be on this list as numbers 5, 6, 7 and 8.

  • Jan. 5, 2012, 11:48 p.m. CST

    yeah Battle:LA was bad


    but Conan the Barbarian was a lot worse! Why isn't Conan getting any love on these lists? I'm perplexed

  • Jan. 6, 2012, midnight CST

    Fuck this list! I'm gonna make my own!


    I only saw 2 movies from Massa's list. And I haven't seen Jack and Jill etc. I only saw 15 minutes of Red Riding Hood but that was enough to convince me it's one of the worst movies ever made. Same with The Darkest Hour. 1.Conan the Barbarian 2.The Darkest Hour 3.Red Riding Hood 4.Dylan Dog: Dead of Night 5.Red State 6.Melancholia

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 12:25 a.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    RED RIDING HOOD and THE DARKEST HOUR were both in the running, but seriously, I can name twenty films far worse than the ones you listed.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 12:39 a.m. CST

    Sucker Punch was an attack on geek culture - and geeks hate it?

    by warrenE33

    the core message of sucker punch was: the modern geek's celebration of sex and violence is a key part of our lady-oppressing culture. Criticizing it for not developing characters, or not presenting enough realism, is ASTONISHINGLY MISGUIDED. Just accept that you got sucker punched, geek. Maybe take a moment to wonder why you enjoy spectacles of sex and violence in your shallow entertainments. Zach Snyder made a movie that criticizes and subverts the average geek viewer's expectations. Claiming his art is a black stain on geek culture, because he somehow failed to do what he wanted, is baffling. If you really think Sucker Punch wasn't meant to be a sucker punch: then you are too fucking stupid to be reviewing movies. Please do something else with your life.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 12:51 a.m. CST


    by berserkrl

    quote: Ayn Rand was a pseudo philosopher :quote So why is she in the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy? (And did you read the entry? Again: ) quote: who was barely known of while she was alive... 
:quote So why is she a bestselling author whose books have never been out of print? She is certainly the most popularly influential 20th century philosopher in America. (Though neither popularity nor its lack have anything to do with the intellectual merits of her writing anyway.) quote:
she is just popular with the far right wing crowd just because a bunch of billionaires have been promoting her shit for the past 30 years. :quote She's also popular with many leftwingers -- like me. The logical tendency of her writing, though she didn't realise it, is toward individualist but ANTI-capitalist anarchism. quote: Ayn Rand claimed to be against entitlement programs or social spending, at the end of her life Ayn Rand was on welfare and medicare... 

she didn't even follow here own fact philosophy. :quote In fact she did follow her own philosophy (on that point, at least). She wrote explicitly about how there's nothing wrong with taking back from the government some of what you've paid in taxes, and likewise of relying on government services when private alternatives have been crowded out. I hear she even walked on public sidewalks. And if you were unjustly imprisoned, I bet you would eat the food you're served in prison even though you don't endorse the justice of your imprisoment. But even if she hadn't followed her own philosophy on that point, so what? First: whether one should or should not accept Medicare is hardly the most important part of any philosophy. And second: the fact that someone does not follow their own philosophy does not invalidate that philosophy.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 1:21 a.m. CST

    Sucker Punch and Atlas Shrugged

    by eveelcapitalist

    I liked Sucker Punch. I'd probably never watch it again, but I liked it. Pretty girls with long legs. I'm a sucker like that. Man, I wanted to lick every one of them up and down all night. Yum! I disagree with Massawyrm's sentiment on Atlas Shrugs. I haven't seen the movie. Read the book, and certainly WANT to see the movie but I haven't seen it. That being said, just because asshole fans can be assholes I think that should be left to the wayside. Oh, I have no doubt that the movie itself was bad (it's a long LONG book) and for all the reasons Wyrm stated, but for it to come down to some internet trolls? Come on, that's just kind of lame. But whatever.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 1:23 a.m. CST

    And for most the rest here?

    by eveelcapitalist

    Seriously? At least make an attempt to read some of Rand's ideas. I mean, I know they're not your OWN, but make the attempt. If Atlas Shrugs is too big, try one of her shorter novels. She also wrote essays. Really. Dive into unfamiliar ideas. Really. It gets interesting. You get new perspectives. Beat the hell out of repeating someone else's bullshit all day long.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 2:03 a.m. CST

    War Horse, too.

    by Orbots Commander

    I know a couple people that just saw it recently, and said it was pretty bad. My own worst. Easily 1, 2 and 3 go to Sucker Punch, Hangover 2 and Green Lantern.

  • ...When the fuck did we get ice cream??

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 3:48 a.m. CST

    Sucker Punch


    I was looking at the Rottentomatoes reviews and saw this review that relates to what another person posted so I thought I'd link it. This review is about how I feel, except for the sexism bit, it never crossed my mind. I'm still surprised that only 1 out of 20 reviewers agrees with me haha

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 4:37 a.m. CST

    RE: "MR. BEAKS TOP 5 FILMS OF 2011"

    by Stalkeye

    Hah, funny shit. That jab @ Beaks would make your boy Vades proud. Consider him, "Chopped".

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 6:04 a.m. CST

    Snyder losing creative control Superman, I'd love to hear that meeting

    by Spandau Belly

    So what, did some studio exec call Snyder into is office and say "Listen, this new film of yours is being criticized as being too pandering to these comic book types, and so we're going to be keeping a closer eye on you so that Superman doesn't turn out to be a movie that pleases comic book types at all."

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Just play Bioshock

    by proevad

    It's like being trapped in Rand's brain for 12 hours and having to find your way out.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 8:43 a.m. CST

    berserkrl: the continued popularity of Atlas Shrugged

    by Monkey Butler

    I have no idea why it is still popular, or why it was ever popular. Maybe it's for the same reason people keep buying Dan Brown novels. Maybe it's because readers agree with her ideas so vehemently that they can overlook the terrible writing. Or maybe popularity begets popularity. The majority of people that I know (speaking as someone outside the US, which is probably significant) who have heard of Rand 'mean to read Atlas Shrugged some day' without know exactly why. <p> In the end though, the book's popularity is irrelevant to my point. It's just a terrible story. Three events are repeated ad nauseam for something like 800 pages - a moocher who owns a company with a name like "consolidated X" or "national Y" will fail buffoonishly while spouting straw-man arguments about 'the greater good' and 'public welfare' (and don't forget those "philosophy of death" academics); a handsome, virile and genius industrialist who owns a company bearing their own name will succeed despite government and moocher interference and then will promptly disappear; and Dagny will fuck anyone more successful than her current partner. It's just tedious. And then, just to make sure the audience didn't miss anything, Galt turns up to laboriously spell out Rand's already transparent ideals, and then the world ends. <p> So, as I said in my original post, the story is pathetic, the characterisation is insulting in its broadness, and the writing is turgid. I don't know why Atlas Shrugged remains so popular, but I'm sure it has nothing to do with any kind of literary merit.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Enjoyed Sucker Punch!

    by ZodNotGod

    Snyder is hardly hurt by the flick. It was lots of fun. Good trashy female empowerment and yes, it insults geeks big time, which is great and a long time coming. Transformers 3- Failed to do its job- entertain. Boring, tedious and way too long.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Okay I was wrong

    by Andrew

    Objectivism is found in some philosophy texts (though you won't find it in Russel - which, I would argue, is the go-to philosophy compendium post-Ayn Rand). However, I will still contend that its definition is more that of a cult than a philosophy. Objectivism is to philosophy what Scientology is to religion.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 9:22 a.m. CST

    The retarded don't Read Ain't It Cool News.

    by cookylamoo

    Even they are not that retarded.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Couldn't watch Battle L.A. because of shakey cam.

    by cookylamoo

    Makes me nauseous. (But I got through Hugo in 3D). I think any movie that alienates potential audience for the sake of dubious artistic value should lose points.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Green Lantern seemed like a warm-up to Green Lantern 2

    by cookylamoo

    Which will probably never happen. It's like the Golden Compass of super-hero movies.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 9:56 a.m. CST

    @warrene33, good post...and @idonotseekabanning, LMAO...

    by BurnHollywood

    ...Of all the negative critiques I've seen of SUCKERPUNCH, both "professional" and otherwise, yours is possibly the only one worth reading through. I don't agree with your judgment against it, but you made your opinion known with intelligence and meticulous explanation. Which underscores my opinion...any movie worth that level of informed analysis and capable of such extremes of opinion is being severely shortchanged to be so callously dumped in a "Worst of" list. Massawyrm should know better.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 10:21 a.m. CST

    macheesmo3, idonotseekabanning

    by Roger Moon

    Guys, your replies were so sincere that I felt like I should respond. My post wasn't intended to be serious. I don't really "train UFC" although you sure see a lot of internet tough guys say that very thing - so much so that it's become a silly web cliche - usually followed by "bro", "bra" or "breh". "How big a boy are ya?" is a catch phrase from a radio prankster personality named Roy D. Mercer. He'll often wind up his marks by asking them "How big a boy are ya?" and then saying he's going to give them an "ass whuppin'". An example: (3:05)

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Sucker Punch (and a PS for Massa)

    by Lucky13

    Is the only movie I can remember renting from netflix... not finishing, and sending it back. The rental version of 'walking out' on the film. I wasn't angry at it... my wife fell asleep halfway thru, so I stopped it and figured I'd watch it later. Two weeks went by, and I realized I had no interest of finishing the film... there was nothing to warrant it. Just 'bleh'. Funny thing is... I wanted to like it. I read the reviews: light on story, pretty girls, pretty lighting, pretty FX. I thought, "Well, hell... I could go for a fun popcorn flic". Ha. There was nothing 'fun' about it. At all. And Massa: You represented yourself much better in the TB here then in your summary of Atlas Shrugged. I may be guilty of skimming (it IS a 'worst of' list after all)... but it sure felt as though you were bagging the idea, not just the film. I've never read the book and have only read/heard 3rd party summarizations of Rand... so I'm not comfortable defending her ideas or the book, but someone who says "less government, help yourself, don't expect a handout" is okay in my book...

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Why do people bag on Adjustment Bureau?

    by LargoJr

    I really enjoyed it. It's romantic and endearing, with just a hint of menace as the couple struggles to keep what they have while fighting for what they want. If I had to complain about anything, it would be that... why is HE the only one trying to make this work? She knows who he is.. it's not like she couldn't easily track him down.. yes? If it's truly 'meant to be', she could have put in a LITTLE bit of effort don't you think? I guess that was the only thing that disappointed me thru the entire film.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Why do people bag on Adjustment Bureau?

    by LargoJr

    I really enjoyed it.. it was romantic and endearing without being over the top or preachy. It had JUST enough menace to add a bit of tension while the couple struggled to keep what they had while fighting for what they wanted. If I had any complaints, it would be that Emily Blunt 's character never even TRIES to find Damon's. You would think, if it's really 'meant to be', she could put in at least a LITTLE effort, don't ya think? Oh well... Still enjoyed it.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Ahh. so THERE is that double post bug.. hmmm interesting

    by LargoJr

    not that it doesn't piss me off or anything :)

  • I enjoyed it. Not my top film for 2011, but certainly shouldn't be on a -Worst Of- list either.

  • They are like the devil that makes a deal with you. They entice you and seduce you, but its up to you to make the union, so that when they trap you forever and ruin your life, they can say, "You're the one that wanted this." It's that whole bullshit, "The man should bag the woman." So the woman thinks she should just sit back and be lazy while the man does all the work. She follows that motto the rest of her life where she sits on a couch and gets really fat and shows her true form underneath the skin of trickery. Maybe they should make a sequel where her character is now married to Damon's character and she is a fat slob. God or one of his constituents contacts Damon's character, "I warned you..." Jack Nicholson should play God. "I warned him."

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Call me crazy, but I had fun with Battle: LA

    by lv_426

    Could it have been more, ambitious? Sure. The biggest disappointment with Battle: LA, was when I first heard about it being sold as a spec script several years ago, the article mentioned that the writer was inspired by the real Battle of Los Angeles, which if you are not familiar with, was a real event that occurred during World War II. I thought that maybe it would be set during that actual WWII Battle of Los Angeles, but with the twist being that it was really aliens probing around here on Earth, and the military brass trying to capture an alien ship, or defend us from a potential extraterrestrial threat. Being that this were a mainstream Hollywood action/sci-fi film, we'd probably win, the aliens would all die, be captured, or maybe a few would escape to fight another day. The whole thing would be swept under the rug as a false alarm, and being that people were more worried about the greater war with the Axis powers, wouldn't be paying much attention anyway and it would all go unnoticed save for the people involved in the incident. So World War II with some aliens showing up on the coast of Los Angeles... that would have been really cool and something unique as far as alien invasion films go. I would have loved to have seen World War II infantry and warplanes going head to head with some cool, possibly retro sci-fi style aliens, plus maybe a few destroyers or battleships shooting some alien craft out of the sky off the coast of L.A. at night. Hell, that sounds like a better idea for the Battleship movie too. Much better than the modern Transformers of the sea version we will be getting. Back to Battle: LA... alas, they went with the less inspired modern day setting instead. What I got with the version they did go with though, was sort of a more serious Independence Day, but the ground war we never saw in that film. I always wanted an ID4 sequel to be the alien ground invasion that was hinted at when Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum snuck into the alien mothership to plant the bomb and virus. With Battle: LA, I got the film that was advertised, Black Hawk Down during an alien invasion. Yes that is a simple concept, but I liked that idea the moment I heard it. I also got the notion that it was sorta like a modern military shooter game like Call of Duty or Battlefield crossed with the alien blasting fun of Halo or Contra, but in a movie format. Being that I am a fan of all of those games, I found that combo up on the big screen to be a good time at the theater. I understand that might not be some people's idea of a good time at the movies, but what exactly did everyone who saw the trailers, expect from Battle: LA? I thought for the most part, it delivered what it said it was going to be in the trailer and in an interview with the writer and the director, as well as the interview with Aaron Eckhardt that was posted on AICN a month or so before the film was released. Surely not the best film of 2011, but for me at least, definitely not one of the worst at all.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 1:07 p.m. CST

    Ooohhh...philosophy squeezed into the political TB hole eh?

    by Darth Macchio

    Been a while hasn't it? I think the last clusterfuck political blowout was over the Sarah Palin documentary, yes? Or some Michael Moore nonsense? Granted, to everybody's credit, this is a much more nicer 'argument' than most AICN tb's that have skewed political in years there's that I guess. Where's BSB and Coughlin's Laws when you need them, eh? But still.... The rest is over but the shouting.... But all that is verbal wankery - we all know what we really came for... First, nice to see you back Massa! Grats on the writing gig and all that... Second, at the risk of being an annoying pain in the ass with a unsolicited request, could we please get a 'Happy Feet 2' review? Now that's some AICN political fire tossing we can all appreciate! Even the most stalwart liberals and conservatives, libertarians and torries, whigs, anarchists, and ###-crats all love the sheer epic-ness of Massa's review on Happy Feet 1....imagine the brotherhood/sisterhood formed twixt these disparate political warriors if we got the Happy Feet 2 review?

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 1:44 p.m. CST

    Great, kid! Now go get cock!


    Do we get to see a character doing a Hand Solo?

  • I haven't seen the film, but I can't imagine that is what they were going for from the way they sold the film in the first place (the trailer is just a bunch of money shots of anime-style schoolgirls shooting machine guns and kicking some giant monster's ass or some such nonsense). So Zack Snyder is all high and mighty, making fun of and condemning the so-called geeks (male geeks in the case of this argument) with his personal masterwork Sucker Punch? I don't buy it, because ironically part of why he has a fucking movie career in the first place is the geeks. Otherwise maybe he'd be stuck directing commercials. Who was it that initially got all excited for Dawn of the Dead, 300, and Watchmen then? Sure as hell wasn't granny or aunt Ruth sitting in her rocking chair sewing a Doctor Manhattan sweater to wear to the premiere of Watchmen. I am sick of this notion that all the ills of entertainment and culture are the fault of the so-called geeks. Last time I checked, the mass majority of the audience that went to see stuff like the shit-tastic Transformers films weren't geeks. Nor where the people that made something like the horrendous Twilight or the Joel Schumacher Batman abominations profitable either. Sure, some of the audience members responsible for these films making money were geeks, or the hardcore fans of Batman and Transformers and Twilight, but it takes more than them to make a film a financial win for the Hollywood accountants. Also, the funny thing is that the term geek itself, has been bastardized to mean just about anyone who likes just about any pop culturally relevant item, story, character, or intellectual property out there. The term is almost meaningless at this point, yet it still gets thrown around as either a badge of honor or as a weapon to deride people that like so-called geeky stuff, which again, is so broad it is almost meaningless. If we are going to throw all the pigshit on the geeks, then let's look back to some of the stuff that isn't distasteful towards women by way of women characters in geek-centric films and TV. Remember that it was Star Trek, the old technicolor looking and wonky original ones that had Uhura as a groundbreaking figure for female empowerment. Then Star Wars with Princess Leia. How about Ripley from the Alien films, or Sarah Connor from The Terminator and T2? Now, to be fair, Leia and Uhura were at times presented as pretty eye candy, but that notion didn't rule the perception of them over the long run. The flipside of this is to look at Ripley or Sarah Connor. Not bad looking at all, but not your classical Hollywood babes either. T2 especially pushed things by making that incarnation of Sarah Connor not only a fierce mother, but a capable warrior that didn't have time to give a shit about looking pretty. And love it or hate it, but Alien 3 went and shaved Sigourney Weaver's head bald! More modern examples of this would be to look at all the women characters of the acclaimed Battlestar Galactica series. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace, Sharon 'Boomer' Valeri, Caprica Six and her many incarnations, President Laura Roslyn, Admiral Helena Cain, etc. That show alone had lots of complexly developed and original female characters of various body types, beauty, personalities, professions, goals, alliances, etc. I'd say that is a much better way to go if you want to present a complex and realistic woman character in a film or TV show, not all painted up like some slutty anime chick in the way Sucker Punch seems to go about it. So I'd say if anything, if Zack Snyder was wanting to wipe away the notion of women as objects of desire and eye candy for the geeks, he might have had better success by just making a movie with a new and inspiring character that wasn't all dolled up like the Sucker Punch ladies seem to be, but one that is realistic and one that lives in a more believable cinematic reality, even if the film itself is science fiction or fantasy at heart. Or, basically, people like James Cameron, Ridley Scott, and Ron Moore beat him to it and did it much better. Also, it isn't like society hasn't been objectifying women for centuries throughout many various historical periods. I hardly think that this is some radical new notion that the geeks thought up. So yeah, I bet the geeks all secretly got together to punish normal women by somehow forcing all pop culture entertainment to show women in compromising situations and to all be portrayed as sexual eye candy. But then again, I thought there was supposed to be this myth that geeks are all virgins without a shot of every having contact with a female. If that were so, then can you blame them then if they want a little sexually stimulating eye candy in the form of beautiful women? If this myth were true, then who wins and who looses. Real life women who have a shot at a normal and possibly fulfilling life as well as sex with a man, or if they prefer, a woman, or both, yet have to every once-in-a-while put up with seeing a trailer for some movie with a barely dressed Milla Jovovich stealing kung fu moves from The Matrix to kill a bunch of zombies? Or is it the geeks that are so sad and pathetic and miserable that the only person they will ever have sex with is imaginary, or worse yet, isn't even a person, but a hand :o!!!!!!!! Or maybe a prostitute if said geek has some dough to blow. These pitiful male geeks are ruining everything by wanting to see some tits once in awhile, even if that be in 2D on a computer or TV screen. They are such evil little shits. Kill them all with napalm. --------------------------------------------------- Of course, this whole argument can be flipped to take a swipe at the types of entertainment aimed at women and young girls. You know, all the formulaic romantic comedies that treat men as total buffoons or constantly ready-to-ejaculate-on-the-first-woman-they-see, as some sort of modern day primitives. Or the Twilight madness that has so many women and teenage girls all excited these days.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 2:49 p.m. CST

    So many bad movies = Listening to test audiences.

    by cookylamoo

    What people say on a questionnaire and what they feel in their gut are two different things. Besides the mob always wants the cheapest thrills it can get. If the studios would just say "fuck it" and stop pandering to the same stupid crowd, movies would be much much better.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 3:03 p.m. CST

    I enjoyed Adjustment Bureau as well.

    by Orbots Commander

    I found it to be an inoffensive and pretty okay little romantic thriller, kept afloat with some nice performances by both Damon and Emily Blunt, more effective here than I've seen her in anything else recently. It does have a huge flaw, and that is the last ten to fifteen minutes of the film. It doesn't so much have a finale and end; it just kind of.....stops, as in, "Hey, our menacing otherworldly organization have been chasing you throughout this entire movie, but since you two kids are so darn NICE, well, we won't anymore. K', bye."

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 3:05 p.m. CST

    re: lv_426

    by sportsguy88

    well stated. the "masses" did not go out and see 300 or Watchmen.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Atlas shrugged - the Movie

    by Atropos was written with the mindset of its agenda being more important than its delivery.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 3:39 p.m. CST

    ok, my post got redacted... meant to write:

    by Atropos

    "it was written with the mindset of its agenda being more important than its delivery." Very much in Rand's spirit then, as I think the quote above is what she said verbatim to her editor when he wanted her to edit down the crap-fest speech at the end of "The Fountainhead". Her arguments are on a par with those of that weird kid you knew in high-school, the one you suspected would either become a CEO or a school shooter - either choice, Rand would've admired it, the crazy bitch. She was so obviously traumatised and embittered by fleeing from communist Russia that it made her completely irrational.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 3:48 p.m. CST

    orbots commander, the end of The Adjustment Bureau

    by lv_426

    When I first saw the film, I kinda wondered if the guardian angel dude that was initially watching over Matt Damon's character (the younger black guy that helps him with the hat/doors thing later on), if maybe he wasn't supposed to be The Chairman in disguise. Maybe getting a ground-eye view of how his agents are doing things, as well as using the whole ordeal to test human free will and the notion of true love or something like that. Maybe I am over-imagining things, but I thought that notion could fit after I saw the film.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Go Rent "The Passion of Ayn Rand" sometime. It's a hoot.

    by cookylamoo

    Especially with two of the sexiest women on earth in it. Helen Mirren and Julie Delphy.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 4:27 p.m. CST


    by Orbots Commander

    Well, sure, the AB's meaning could have more than one interpretation, but that doesn't prevent the actual plot mechanics of the story, the chase, from just stopping, whether it's over one contrived reason, "I'm really the *Chairman*", or another. The ending is weak, in, as I described it, an otherwise enjoyable little thriller. And most thrillers live or die on the ending-resolution; it's what the genre demands that it builds up to. Imagine if Tommy Lee Jones' character in The Fugitive decides to stop chasing Harrison Ford's character, just, because.

  • Jan. 6, 2012, 9:25 p.m. CST

    orbots commander

    by lv_426

    Yeah, it still was a weak ending. But I still enjoyed the film despite of it.

  • Jan. 7, 2012, 6:45 a.m. CST

    Suckerpunch --- Cross Counter

    by lagomorph

    I didn't like it in theaters. But for some reason I began obsessing over it and picked it up on Blu and there's something there. Repeated viewings have led me to reverse my initial reaction. I think the problems with the story's pacing and how it's told are still there but Snyder didn't completely bellyflop either. At its roots the film is about a character rewriting her story with comic book flair. Yes, I still wonder why a preteen girl would make her tale so fanboy friendly, but the basic concept of the film which isn't unlike Mulholland Drive, is solid and interesting.

  • Jan. 7, 2012, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Easy to judge philosophers...

    by Hipshot

    Just look at how their ideas work in their own lives. If someone is impeccable in all 4 major arenas (say...body, career, relationships, finances) then what they have to say is A+. And usually not extreme--most such people are open-minded and non-dogmatic. A person who has 3 of these arenas is often a little less flexible, but still interesting. Only 2? Well...I am allowed to use a big grain of salt. Only 1? What they say might be interesting, but I have zero obligation to take them seriously, unless what they say matches my own experience. Hell, any bum on the street can say something interesting and "wise." The proof isn't "does it sound good" but "what actual results do you get when you apply this idea?" "What would the world be like if everyone operated this way?" I've avoided some nightmarish philosophical dead-ends by applying this.

  • Jan. 7, 2012, 8:46 a.m. CST


    by Err

    The definition comes from Merriam Webster's dictionary, the most recent edition/definition of the word. Promotion, advertising, all are considered synonyms of propaganda. If I'm putting out PR statements in the media to let people know that I, as a movie star, for example, am not seperating from my wife; yet, we have already decided that we are and are waiting for a better time. That is a form of propaganda. I honestly don't see what is so hard to grasp about it. By the way, I do not ascribe to Rand. As a literature major, I do not like Atlas Shrugged. However, I feel that whether a movie is propaganda or not has nothing to do with how well a movie can be made. A movie can be a piece of propaganda and made extremely well. It doesn't mean that the movie is bad because it is propaganda.

  • Jan. 7, 2012, 6:46 p.m. CST

    Adjustment Bureau was not made for popcorn loving synics!

    by CeejayNightwing

  • Jan. 7, 2012, 8:13 p.m. CST

    Y'all got suckered and punched..including myself

    by Mr anderson

    Loved Watchmen but sucker punch was so stupid. And so was battle la, cowboys n aliens, super 8, and lastly the biggest crap of all Rise of the apes with the worst actor james franco...good night!

  • Jan. 8, 2012, 7:54 a.m. CST

    Sucker Punch

    by XJDavid

    Not a great film, terrible story line, but I had a BLAST watching it. The visuals were awesome, but to me I think it was the soundtrack that got me.

  • Jan. 8, 2012, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Of course no one ever mentions that Ayn Rand was on Medicade.

    by v1cious

    They like to keep that part out.

  • Jan. 9, 2012, 12:46 p.m. CST

    thegoblinknightlex, excellent point

    by jim

    I enjoyed Sucker Punch even though I felt it was flawed. Does not deserve to find itself on a 10 Worst Movies List. I think it was Norling who picked Pirates 4 as his worst movie of 2011 because, to him, it was the most disappointing. That makes it the Most Disappointing Movie of 2011, not the worst. If you go to a nice restaurant and have a great meal 3 times, and return for a fourth, one that doesn't live up to your expectations or your past experiences, does that mean it is the "worst meal" you had that year? No, it could qualify as the most disappointing but worst means worst. Worst is the movie that didn't work on any level, and that was a complete and total waste of your time. Pirates 4, like Sucker Punch, while flawed, are far from the worst movies of last year.

  • Jan. 10, 2012, 2:23 a.m. CST



    I just realized. Everyone forgot to put Priest on their worst of list. It's a travesty.

  • That one just doesn't sit right with me. Jack and Jill fails at even registering as a film. It so utterly fails on all counts (writing, acting, editing, even the premise) that it could be used in film schools as an example to future directors and actors alike of exactly what to avoid at all costs. It's even worse in that Adam Sandler has the capacity to at least make us laugh - some of us - at least a chuckle once in a two-hour movie, and it seems he's made a conscious decision to simply churn out the most heinous pieces of shit he possibly can and see if we'll still pay to see them. It is plainly obvious that he has simply stopped trying to make movies that are even remotely funny, and started shitting out stories, slapping them on the wall, and calling it a day. Sucker Punch was a narrative disaster, and almost devoid of any discernable plot whatsoever. But at least Snyder was putting energy into the project and trying to give the lowest common denominator (hey, they're a big part of the market) what he thought they would want to see. And at least I could stand in awe of Baby Doll (Emily Browning)'s inimitable hotness for two hours. That's more than I can say for squirming in my seat while Adam Sandler wears a dress and proves to us exactly what killed Eddie Murphey's career in the 90's.