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Quint dives into Willis' THE WHOLE NINE YARDS
Well, Father Geek here with a look at that new Bruce flick, THE WHOLE NINE YARDS, posted by Quint viva the Orca's crackling shipboard radio...Yeah, ol' Quint doesn't post as often as he once did since landing that movie industry job in the late Fall. Hopefully as his position solidifys he'll be able to leak us a few sneakpeeks at the flicks ahead... or at least score his old fishing buddies some great swag...
A quick note for those that are interested: HARRY and THE DUDE were spotted this morning having breakfast in an open air cafe in downtown San Jose, Costa Rica with some of the local Central American fans of the site... Tooo Coooool!
Ahoy there, Father Geek and Constant Readers.
AICN's resident crusty seaman
here once again, this time with look at Bruce Willis' latest flick, The
Whole
Nine Yards.
As most of you know by now, Harry has embarked on a seagoing mission with
The
Dude and Ebert to take back the Panama Canal (with fun stops along the way,
of course). What most of you probably don't know is the waters they're
traveling through are some of the most shark-infested on this big blue ball
we call home. It didn't take the sharks long to realize the sizable meal
that
was floating their way. I got an SOS from Harry saying their vessel were
under attack. I replied, "Why do you need my salty ass to do the job? The
Dude's cool enough to level that damn pesky shark without breaking a sweat!"
Well, apparently The Dude had one to many White Russians was out of the
fight.
To make a long story short, I busted my ass to The Orca, quickly sped to the
coordinates given to me by Harry, shot a shitload of barrels into him, then
dragged the big fucker home (the shark, that is. Not Harry). I tell you
what,
my taxidermy man nearly had a heart attack when he saw what I brung him! As
thanks for saving the mission, Harry gave me the name of a theater here in
Austin, a date and a time.
That about brings us to the movie itself. The Whole Nine Yards is the kind
of
movie you hate describing to your friends. "Was it good?" Not terribly. "Was
it bad?" Not really. Enough of the comedy succeeds that you don't want to
call it a bad movie, but enough fails so you don't want to call it a good
movie, either. See what I'm getting at.
The flick basically follows Matthew Perry's dentist character as he's
unwillingly dropped into a world of Gangsters, Hitmen and some pretty awful
characters. The most annoying of which is Rosanna Arquette as Matthew
Perry's
bitch of a wife. Since the film is set mostly in Canada, they decided to let
Rosanna go all out with the most annoying French accent she could muster.
Thank God she's absent for most of the movie. Another character with an
annoying accent (although not nearly as bad as Rosanna's) is Kevin Pollak's
Gangster character. The accent serves no purpose to the story and is
unfunny,
which is a shame because I think Kevin Pollak is a very talented actor. It's
also a shame because an intentionally bad accent be used hilariously. Take
Lili Von Schtoop in Blazing Saddles for example.
All right, that was the bad. The good: Michael Clarke Duncan. The man has
terrific presence, as established in The Green Mile. He further proves
himself here. He enhances every scene he's in and proves that his talent
isn't limited to one movie. His performance in The Whole Nine Yards isn't
nearly as strong as his portrayal of John Coffy, mind you, but it at least
shows this his presence wasn't a fluke or tricked out of him some way by
Darabount. Both Michael and Bruce Willis have a lot of fun with their
characters and their stereotypes.
Now on to Matthew Perry... I don't know. He does a lot of things that are
supposed to be funny, but I thought just fell flat. I like the guy, I like
his portrayal of his character, he just didn't pull off the comedy side of
it. The gags he does don't seem funny. They seem a little... forced. Not
convincing.
Overall, The Whole Nine Yards is a somewhat enjoyable who's-out-to-hit-who
kind of tale, but not very memorable. Based on the films I've seen so far
this year, it looks like Pitch Black will be the first big "Hell Yeah!!!
This
is a fuckin' movie" standout flick. The spot I believe The Matrix took last
year. Most of the other films have been mediocre, including this one.
Well, Constant Readers, I'm off. I've got bigger fish to fry. Till next
time...
-Quint
aicnquint@hotmail.com
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+ Expand All
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that's all I gotta say....Hey, I'm finally first!
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What's with this guy? How can a guy who makes GREAT decisions that most actors wouldn't (Nobody's Fool, Pulp Fiction, 12 Monkeys, Sixth Sense) also make such STUPID follow-ups like The Jackal, Mercury Rising, and this thing which should follow the Friends trend and lay an egg at the box office. He probably gets half the good scripts in Hollywood and then decides on the new millenium's version of Analyze This!? Guess this is what we have to expect from Hudson Hawk.
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This looks like another crap movie that I'll maybe rent when it comes out on video.
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Feb 12, 2000 1:58:45 PM CST
jeez, I hope there arent any mobsters to be offended by this ste
by malchizedik
Amanda Peet is great in this movie. She was excellent in what little she had in Isn't She Great. Ill bet Bruce Willis owed someone a favour. But christ, is Mathew Perry not the most hideous man in Hollywood? Please, go back to television you prick.
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I suppose not. Anyhoo...is it just me, or is Matthew Perry constantly playing the same, UNFUNNY, character in all of his movies? The wimp put into a troubling circumstance? Puleeze, not again. Bruce Willis as a hitman? D'oh! I've seen enough mobster/wimp movies, I don't need another. Kill this "genre" now.--Saulot--
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I think my room mate sums it up pretty well. Matthew Perry is "Box Office Cancer"...
Stick to Friends Matt, its the only thing you're funny in. -
With the exception of his two 1994 films, PULP FICTION and NOBODY'S FOOL, Bruce Willis has not starred in a single likeable comedy. Remember that ugly mess FOUR ROOMS? Didn't think so. Anyone see BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS last year? Didn't think so. Gee, I wonder why BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES wasn't mentioned when we were discussing DePalma's films on the MISSION TO MARS talk back?
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I know it's a famous phrase, but does it have any meaning with the movie? Just curious.
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But, to tell the truth, AICN TalkBacks just aren't any fun anymore. It seems that almost everyone is an illiterate fool with "Darth____" as his screenname with no respect for others' opinions. Yeah, I know that every so often a TalkBacker blows up and starts ranting on everyone-I guess today's my turn. We've got immature little kids arguing over an actresses looks rather if she can act. That's the only thing they talk about! Constant swearing, TROLLing freaks, nimrods. They've all polluted AICN TalkBacks, and, as they gain ground, the remaining intelligent ones leave. I mean, almost no one from the TalkBacks when I joined are still here! We're supposed to be a community, not a bunch of 12-year olds! Goddammit, can't you people speak about film without showing how stupid you can become?--Saulot--
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I actually agree with you (just this once, I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again). Perry seems to bring with him to film the stigma of television success. Unless its the ever-ludicrous teen market, crossovers from TV to film don't seem to work too well. Or maybe its just the curse of the Friends cast (I remember when Lost In Space came out a friend said "I don't really want to see Joey as an action hero"). Or is it just that plain old-fashioned typecasting has occured?
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Does Natasha Henstridge flash her hot bod in this one?
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Good review, Quint!
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Thanks for mentioning Amanda Peet! She, along with Michael Clarke Duncan, is the reason not to get too pissed if you get dragged to see this movie. She's great in it, lots of fun. Plus she gets naked! For a long time!!!
I remembered I didn't include her in my review way too late.
As for the title, The Whole Nine Yards refers to a $10 million chunk of change that just about every character in the movie is after and killing each other for.
Unfortunately, Natasha bears nothing more than the top of her breastses. Sorry about that, dude. -
What an idiot. You thought you're first, but you're not. How dumb is that.
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...I'm right with you Saulot....
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but its spelled Melchezidek
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Yes,I do remember Four Rooms,and it was one of the funniest movies I've seen.Granted,it wasn't the segment with Willis,and it took an hour to get to the scene,but there it is.Why must you be so cynical?
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you know, like the kind you buy that is usally dry, brown and full of seeds?
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I think only applies to the men of Friends, Aniston and Kudrow have made some intelligent movie choices(She's the One and The Opposite of Sex) and Cox-Arquette seems to be doing ok with her movie career, course we'll see how she does easier now that she's done with the Scream franchise and starts out on her own. Of course that's not to say that all their choices have been good(Hanging up looks dreadful, poor Lisa). Now I might be the only one but I find all the Arquette's...I don't know what the word I'm looking for exactly is, something along the lines of...hit and miss maybe...I watched Pulp Fiction the other night and was really bothered by the Arquette's in that movie, along with their work in Lost Highway. Maybe I'm just being nitpicky here but something about their work bothers me, not to say they aren't fine actors, their work just bothers me personally.--Now unto Bruce Willis, I know as an actor that sometimes when you hear a concept or read a script it sounds fantastic and then when it comes to executioning that piece of work it fails or isn't as funny or doesn't work the way you thought it would when you signed up to do it. I think that's why he sometimes chooses movies that aren't as good as other movies. But please don't dog on Hudson Hawk, I love that movie, and Bonfire, well Bruce was perfect in the movie, he played the drunken slimeball do anything reporter brillently I thought--And am I the only one that hasn't found Kevin Pollack funny scince "The Drew Carry" show?
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Well, shit. This guy has the same name as me. How come I never saw him before?? Maybe I just didn't pay attention. Anyways, I'll change mine, I guess. Although I can't think of any characters I like better. Maybe the shark, although he's not quite as intimidating. Anyways, ON subjsect, anybody see Larry King Live last night with Bruce Willis, Amanda Peet, and uh... John Coffey? Well I was a little toasted upon viewing it, but i realized that Larry King has the best damn desk in all of show business. Sincerly, it makes you feel like you're right there with him and his guests. Every talk show should have a desk like that. Oh yeah, anyways, they said this film was shot in like 39 days, but of course the quality didn't suffer. Is that possible? I'm no director, but it seems I'd want at least two takes of every scene. Am I right or am I right or am I right? Right? Righ? R? RRRRR? -- Hey, I just found my new name! Bing! From now on I'm Needlenose Ned-- unless that's taken. Until then, Farewell and Ado...
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This movie looks pretty good in one sense and not so good in another. I figure it will be a good "no-brainer" rental, maybe even something I own that I pop into the VCR (or DVD if it's cheap by then). I really do enjoy Matthew Perry. I think he's one of the better cast members on "Friends". In fact, he's my second favorite character (Pheobe all the way for me!). I think it's sad that all these movies he's in he gets typecast as Chandler. The guys are all neurotic and smart assed. I did enjoy "Fools Rush In" because it was a cute movie and his character had a little less cynicism to him than Chandler.
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Not two hours ago, I bought tickets to a sneak preview of this movie, playing tonight! I hope it'll be better than Quint is saying... Maybe I'll repost afterward, and have my two cents.
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Feb 12, 2000 5:56:02 PM CST
Has anyone noticed the horrible Toupee that Pollack has been wea
by gilmour
It's terrible! We all knew the guy has been balding for a few years now his hair is full and the top is red while the bottom is dark brown. Watch him on talk shows it's funnier then listening to his lame jokes. BTW Wills, Duncan and Peete were all on Larry King Live last night promoting this crapfest. King was kissing ass and going on and on about how hilarious this movie truly is. Why has Wills followed up the Sixth Sense with crap like Story of Us and Breakfest of Champions? The guy just does too many films. He should slow down and not do b films like this one.
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Will we be asked to take on an "impossible mission" one day and train to infiltrate the major Hollywood studios as super spies? That would be cool. OR...is it just a letter telling us to keep up the good Talk Back work?
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Whew!
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Just got back from the 'Sneak' preview showing (Which, it seems, studios give to movies they're not confident about: Iron Giant and Home Alone 3 were given this treatment, too.) I can see where Quint is coming from in his review; there's nothing incredible about this movie. The only new comment that I can make is about Perry and the unfunny jokes: His character, who is nervous and twitchy most of the time, only 'works' with jokes that fit with that image. For example, when given a snappy one-liner, the joke falls flat, but when he does a pratfall or fails to catch a beer thrown to him by Willis, he gets laughs from the audience. The accents were nothing short of stupid; they sound like Daisy's mock accent in the filming scenes of 'Bowfinger'. Willis, Duncan, and Natasha are, in my opinion, what hold the movie together. Of course, this movie is just filler for me until Pitch Black comes out. Why not a sneak preview for that, too? Oh, wait, I answered my own question at the beginning of this comment...
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Don't get me wrong,I like to be supportive of other TalkBackers,but please don't post homophobic stuff like that.I have a couple gay friends who are really cool about the stuff people give them,but if you wouldn't be so openly bigot-esque,I appreciate it.Just trying to be helpful.
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That was hurtful.I am wounded.You wouldn't really want to hurt me,would you?I'm lovable and cute,like Latka.
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Bruce Willis, he started out in Moonlighting, with the ultimate yuppie Cybil Shephard. Michael Fox did a few cool films, his capitalistic attitude should have crossed over better. On the other hand, how about Trent Reznor in Light of Day??
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Stephen-
The Whole Nine Yards, despite the fact that I haven't seen the movie yet, seems an odd title considering the source of that phrase. It has nothing to do with gansters or hit men. Nor does it have anything to do with aging action stars or goofy co-stars that should know their place in the world and remain on TV. In fact, the phrase "The Whole Nine Yards" comes from WWII (i believe, or some other US involved war). It had to do with the guns, and especially ammo used in certain guns. The strap of bullets (that thing Rambo had around his chest) measured exactly nine yards. So if a soldier were to use his entire strap of bullets, probably meaning that it was a big target, he was said to be giving it "the whole nine yards". But again, this raises an interesting question. Why the hell did they decide to use this title? For those that have seen it, perhaps you could shed some light? -
The phrase "The Whole Nine Yards" made its way into American figurative language, not just an obscure war term. Basically it means, "To go all the way", or "everything"
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Quint,
You missed out on The Whole Nine Yards entirely. I have no idea what movie you were watching, but I saw it last Thursday (02/10/00). Matthew Perry's performance wasn't natural? If anything he was funny as a human accident waiting to happen.
Let me get this straight - you expect the idea of a dentist living next door to a hitman on the run to seem "normal?' What kind of screwed up inbred family are you from where this would seem "normal?" It's called comedy, you idiot. You're suppoed to take it with a grain of salt.
As for Michael Clarke Duncan's role as Frankie Figs, of course he was playing to type. So was every damn actor in the movie!!! You didn't complain that Natasha Henstridge was of course GORGEOUS in the movie. Kevin Pollak's grasp of accents is superb. Not only did he manage to pull off the "yumpin' yimminy" accent stuff, he also pulled off a Chicago clipped accent very well.
I can't find a problem with your assessment of Rosanna Arquette's character, but realistically, she and her mother were archtypical BITCHES. In this kind of movie, you expect them to end up badly.
Lighten up, you jackalope!!!!
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Feb 13, 2000 3:28:56 AM CST
charles schultz (peanuts) dies in his sleep 2.13.2000 9:45p.m. o
by darthpsychotic
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Feb 13, 2000 3:33:14 AM CST
charles m schultz(1922-2000) | Nov. 26, 1922 to Feb 12, 2000 9:4
by darthpsychotic
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For anyone who has cable, Bravo has been showing the Moonlighting series in order for the past month or so, and I've come to realize that this show was WAYYYY ahead of its time. I enjoy Ally McBeal with all the sound effects, sight gags, etc., but Moonlighting totally breaks the fourth wall. Willis and Shepherd often made comments directly referring to the audience. Recently they showed the season finale with Judd Nelson & Whoopi Goldberg where the set is dismantled while the episode is still going on. The point I'm trying to make here is that Bruce Willis used to be very, very funny, with a sense of one-liner timing on par with Groucho Marx. I doubt the credit can be solely given to the writers of moonlighting, and I'd like to say one thing in defense of Hudson Hawk. Although it may not have been a "great" film by any stretch of the imagination, it showed the comedic side of Willis that was missing since the onset of his film career. I thought it was hilarious. Even though Willis was great in The Last Boy Scout, it was a beat down loser type of humour, not the fast joke cracking guy from the glory days. I hope one day Willis can do a comedy that allows him to recapture that wink in the eye he had through the whole run of Moonlighting. You don't have to be young to be funny.
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Feb 13, 2000 11:00:32 AM CST
I Agree With Yojimbo/"Whole Nine Yards" Wasn't That Bad
by smilin'jackruby
It wasn't a classic by any means, but it was funny and everyone laughed all the way through. There were a million plot-holes, but Matthew Perry was actually really funny (and I went in not expecting to give a rat's ass about him). Amanda Peet was great, actually, so that's another reason to see it (if I got her name right).
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After thinking about the movie after writing my comments, I realized that there is a suprising amount of foreshadowing in the lovely Ms. Peet's role. Supposedly, when we see the movie a second time, we are meant to know why she warns Perry to leave his wife, and know who she is talking to on the phone as Perry enters his office. This is actually pretty neat if you think about it, as it implies some thought was put into the script. Oh, and by the way, how come everyone seems to be getting diffrent emails from Father Geek recently? I got one saying, simply, "He Does!!!", probably in response to my comment that Moriarty should write movies. (In the 90's list article.)
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hoo-ha. First of all, Actionstars are not funny. Second of all, if this is a Willis movie, how come his performance is hardly mentioned in this review? I mean, is he realy that bad? Also, Perry is a funny guy but hardly ever in a movie. Better luck next time. I'm outta here
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Just Heard your going to be a guest at the San Diego Comic Con...I was there last year and am going back this summer. Cant think of a better place to be the Summer that the X-Men film is opening. See ya' there!
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Yello, gotta hand it to the WWII buffs out there who actually knew what the whole nine yards refers to (originally). As far as the TV to movie thang, didn't Clint Eastwood start out in Gunsmoke before the silver screen? Or am I totally wrong here? From the mix of reviews here it sounds as if this is a rainy day rental rather than a opening night bonanza. Anyone else think of TV to movie actors that made it? Gotta say that Saturday Night Live has produced a lot of actors (no comment on how well they act) that made it to the movies: Eddie Murphy, Chevy Chase, Dan Ackroid (sp?), John Bilushi, and the newer... Adam Sandler, Chris Farley (RIP), etc. Ol rubber face himself Jim Carrey was in some lame TV show before movieland. AND Bussom (sp?) Buddies gave us ...... Tom Hanks. Oh, BTW, I thought Hudson Hawk was underrated, too. Willis was brilliant in Moonlighting, my fav. ep. was the Taming of the Shrew spoof, Addison had the BMW insignia on the horse and had shades on most of the show (the horse did, too). Gods I'd love to have that on video, too bad I don't have cable to get a copy.... Red_2 putting the call for TV to movie actors.... That's my 2 red cents yada yada.
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