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Issue #29 Release Date: 10/19/11 Vol.#10
The Pull List
(Click title to go directly to the review)
Advance Review: SPACEMAN #1
Advance Review: THE VAULT #3
Advance Review: INCREDIBLE HULK #1
AICN COMICS’ John Ary Comics Podcast!< /a>

Advance Review: In stores today!


Writer: Brian Azzarello
Artist: Eduardo Risso
Publisher: DC Vertigo
Johnny Destructo

And here I thought 100 BULLETS was a chore to read! Oopha. Don't get me wrong, 100 BULLETS was brilliant and a WHOLE lot of fun, but Azzarello does have a certain style of word-play that works great sometimes but doesn't work so well for everything (BATMAN: BROKEN CITY, anyone?). In SPACEMAN, his newest work with other 100 BULLETS alums Risso and Johnson, he has come up with a form of verbal short-hand for his characters to use that takes some getting used to. And why NOT? It's a bright, shiny, glorious future, minus all the bright shining and the gloriousness, so of course we as Americans have mangled up our language something fierce. It seems to be following the logical progression of our speech evolution (or devolution, depending on your view).

It's interesting to me that Azzarello's fictional future follows a sort of pattern. NASA has gone down the evolutionary ladder to create a man-ape that can weaher the harsh environments of space, and the language of this same future utilizes a speech pattern that comes across sounding more like caveman speak. There seems to be a theme of delving into the past in order to affect the future.

At any rate, as with any Azzarello offering, there is a certain bit of word play that comes ingrained in the work. During a conversation Orson has with a hooker, when he gets a little too chatty, she asks if this session is going to be sexy times or talky times. He says "It's a make me feel better time", to which she replies "and who FEELS you better than me?" This is one of Azzarello's signature moves. Much like many pencilers that I can recognize by the linework, you could probably hand me any Azz works without revealing who wrote it, and I would still be able to tell from all the clever word-play.

Risso is one of those artists as well. He has a signature style that is unmistakable and he just draws the hell out of every book he does. This is no exception--so much so that after reading it, I immediately went back to eye-hump the artwork panel by panel.

This is an insanely original world that Azzarello and Risso have created and I can't wait for the next one. If you are worried that you'll be signing up for another 100 issues, per 100 BULLETS, have no fear--this is only a 9 issue maxi-series. Oh, and this first issue is only $1. Just buy it already!

PS. Does anyone else immediately see the word "Spaceman" and hear Tracey Jordan from “30 Rock” pronouncing it "Spa-che-men"? No? Just me? Ok.

JD can be found hosting the PopTards Podcast, drawing a weekly webcomic, discussing movies, comics and other flimflam over at, graphically designing/illustrating for a living, and Booking his Face off over here. Follow his twitter @poptardsgo. His talkback name is PopTard_JD.


Writer: John Layman
Art: Kyle Baker
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Since the debut of DEADPOOL MAX last year, the glut of extraneous Deadpool comics has drifted away like leaves to the wind. Luckily for readers, one of the only titles remaining which prominently features the character (besides the excellent UNCANNY X-FORCE, of course) is DEADPOOL MAX. Released a mere three weeks after the last issue and continuing almost exactly where the last series left off, Deadpool and his partner (formerly known as Hydra Bob) are now on the run from the government while continuing their quest to behead the illusive Hydra organization.

As the new “#1” indicates, this is a fresh jumping on point for new readers. If you haven’t been keeping up with the series so far, the characters lay everything out pretty clearly in the first few pages of the book. Really, it’s a simple story that is only complicated by the fragile psyches of the two leads, so you should have no trouble catching up if you’re a newbie. John Layman keeps the dialogue refreshingly simple, especially in the first few pages, by having the two leads investigate using a single word: “Hydra.” It’s goofy and repetitive but it somehow worked for me. The best part of the book is definitely the church scene, featuring a preacher sporting a monkey on his shoulder, spouting a story he claims is “privileged information.” This of course leads into a hostage situation thanks to Lady Taskmaster and her Hydra boys, and did I mention there’s a monkey?

The first two--no, four—no, six pages of this comic are depraved, maybe even a little crazy, yet they perfectly encapsulate the themes and tone of this book. Artist Kyle Baker manages to capture the absurdist quality of his leads while utilizing a variety of styles when necessary, from photo cut-outs to the many quizzical expressions of the people in the church scene. This book simply would not rock as hard without him bringing Layman’s hilarious script to life.

But I do have one little problem with this book. At twenty pages in length, separated by several redundant and tiresome advertisements, this book is simply not worth four bucks. It was a fairly entertaining read with quite a few laugh-out-loud moments but not enough to justify the extra dollar. Hell, if this were three dollars I’d be heartily recommending it to kids on the street with a clear conscience. As it is currently priced I cannot recommend it to anyone but the financially sound. I’m sick of overpriced comics and I’m not going to support the practice, even when it’s used on a well-executed book like DEADPOOL MAX. So thanks for the laughs DP (via Layman), but as long as you’re asking me to blow more money than I have to spend I’m done with you.


Writer: Geoff Johns
Art: Jim Lee
Publisher: DC Comics
The Writing Rambler

DC’s New 52 Flagship book returns with its second issue in JUSTICE LEAGUE #2, and despite my own headaches with the continuity in the book (more on that in a few) it’s still a decent follow up to DC’s main launch title.

Geoff Johns balances this issue really well in several areas. He keeps it action-packed and story driven but also finds the time to properly interweave Flash’s (Barry Allen) “introduction”, as well as furthering Cyborg’s origin story. There’s something really enjoyable about watching these characters come together in an environment where superheroes are not embraced and are still mostly viewed as costumed vigilantes. The story is only exemplified by the beautiful work of Jim Lee. I for one like the new look of Superman in particular and feel like he exemplifies power a hundred times more now than he did in the past (looking forward to the flaming arrows from some of you for that one). Lee’s artwork reminds you that at any moment Superman could probably kill everyone on the page if he really needed to and I think that fact has been glossed over with Superman’s character for too long in lieu of always making him more of a boy scout with powers (side note: this fact has always caused arguments I’ve often had with friends because Superman’s character depiction has always led me to take Batman’s side in a fight, even though logically Superman should clearly win, hands down. So thanks Jim Lee for making my side of this argument harder to defend…damn you, sir, damn you).

My one big problem with this book is really a problem with the whole New 52 in general. This is supposed to be the main book in the New 52 and yet when I read it I feel like it’s taking place in an entirely different world than any other of the 51 choices I was given last month. I get that it’s set 5 years in the past, and I have no problem enjoying the buildup of how the characters will get caught up to their modern day counterparts, but it just really feels removed from everything else in the DCU right now.

In talking with other fans about The New 52 in general, it was funny how many of us when discussing our favorite books had forgotten that Justice League was part of it. Kind of a weird sign when your biggest book is not the most discussed (despite it being in its 4th printing at the moment). Couple that with the fact that other books involving Batman, Superman, Green Lantern etc. are taking place either in the past or the present (which would be the future in respect to the JUSTICE LEAGUE timeframe) and you create a pretty tricky timeline for all the new fans this reboot is supposed to be bringing in. Despite all of my feelings that the company has too many different timelines happening at once, JUSTICE LEAGUE on its own is a good book and hopefully in time these continuity issues (and there are A LOT of them) will get ironed out as the series progresses.


Written and Illustrated by Kit Lively
BearManor Media
Reviewer: superhero

There are some things in life that are just hysterically wrong. They shouldn't exist but they do and they still make you laugh. When you see something that can be classified like this you have to wonder, is there something inherently off about me? Is there something that is wrong with me, that I find stuff like this so incredibly funny?

That's the feeling I had when reading this collection of Kit Lively's cartoons. There is so much funny material in here that shouldn't make me laugh. There’s stuff in here that I should see as a little bit weird. But I don't think it's weird. I think it's brilliant and funny with a capital "F".

The truth of the matter is that, yes, I do think some of the cartooning in here is a bit off the rails but it doesn't keep it from being humorous. Oh, who am I kidding? Kit Lively's cartoons made me laugh out loud more than once and if that makes me a demented freak then so be it! I mean, c'mon, there's a cartoon in here about The Cookie Monster trying to sneak a woman a date rape drug in one of his cookies. C'mon! That's comedy gold! And that’s just the beginning of the madness contained in this book.

The cartoons in DAMMIT! I SWALLOWED ANOTHER ONE! are fantastic. While I don't think that Lively's drawing skills are particularly the best I've seen, I have to say that he gets his point across in spades. His limited drawing skills don't keep him from being funny. Damn funny. Which is the most important thing in a collection of humor cartoons, after all. And, let's face it, limited drawing skills never stopped any other cartoonist from being fantastically successful, so why should it stop Lively?

The closest thing I can compare Kit Lively’s stuff to is The Far Side. But this is a Far Side with a slightly more naughty and provocative edge. I’d call it The Far Side’s Dark Side. These comics were not meant to be seen in the daily newspaper and because they are freed from the restraints of said periodicals they are able to touch on subject matter that Gary’s Larson’s strip was never able to address. As far as I’ve always been concerned Larson was a genius but it’s good to know that in Kit Lively I’ve found Larson’s somewhat more incendiary twin. If Larson is Bill Cosby then Lively is Richard Pryor. They seem to me to be two different sides of the same coin. If you were a fan of The Far Side but can take that sort of material with a bit of bite then I’d highly recommend DAMMIT! I SWALLOWED ANOTHER ONE!

Discovered as a babe in an abandoned comic book storage box and bitten by a radioactive comic fan when he was a teenager, superhero is actually not-so mild mannered sometime designer & cartoonist, Kristian Horn of Los Angeles, California. Some of his work can be seen at and check out his blog at You can check also out his webcomic at, which is currently in development.

Advance Review: In stores today!


Writer: Sam Sarkar
Illustrator: Garrie Gastonny
Image Comics
Reviewer: Mr. Pasty

THE VAULT comes from the same creative team behind the Arthurian legend re-imagining CALIBER, which I did not read, but found it prudent information for this review for those of you with a wider subscription base than me. What I can tell you is that THE VAULT reads cleanly and looks gorgeous, but caused sort of a Doppler shift in my attention in that I was picking up speed in issue one, became locked in for issue two, then slowly started to detach by the end of issue three. A disappointment? No, but something that could have been much, much more.

Any story named THE VAULT, as you would expect, centers around a vault (duh)--perhaps more importantly, what’s in the vault. I know when I think of the word vault, I immediately think of that steel behemoth at my local bank that houses more cash than I’ll see in ten years. I also think of how hard it must be to penetrate when they close for the night. So too, do our protagonists in this story have to find a way into the vault they’re after. Aside from being encased in sludge, it’s buried deep underwater in a remote location that has mysterious ties to the pyramids of Giza, as well as some other archeological preserves. A team is assembled to try and retrieve it and with that comes the usual cast of characters, including the scientist, the scholar, the translator, the heavy, the investor, and the robot. In fact, the slow build is what I found to be the most compelling aspect of this entire series.

Sarkar spends a great deal of time getting the reader comfortable with his characters and locations. I like that. He also doesn’t drop a lot of historical jargon and finds a nice way to give you just enough information to get up to speed without turning it into a lecture. Aside from money, everyone has their own personal motives for being on this expedition and I was looking forward to exploring them as the narrative progressed. They eventually find the vault when lo and behold, the untold riches they were expecting turn out to be junk jewelry--all except for one: a sarcophagus that thermal imaging reveals contains a strange figure. Should they get it back to the lab like one team member suggests? Of course they should. But then there would be no story.

Instead, the vault is opened on the ship, with consequences akin to that of opening the Ark of the Covenant. That’s where THE VAULT abandons its intrigue (and wonderful palette) and turns into FRIDAY THE 13TH: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN. Big scary monster mutilates hapless victims on a giant boat. He can’t be killed and can’t be stopped, but he can slowed down with a stone that has some ancient gobbledygook carved into it. Meh. Issue number three seemed rushed and its panels hurried into place. I felt an odd disconnect between the final offering and the two that preceded it. I invested into characters for no other reason than to get a reaction from me once they’re offed? Hard not to feel kind of used in that sense. And Sarkar killed his own pacing at the end, far worse than his monster ever could, with some ham-handed send-off between two team members that may or may not have been secretly in love. The only set-up to that scene was a quick “Oops, I’m walking in on you after a shower” angle which, aside from gratuitous side-boob, served little purpose. THE VAULT started strong, became likeable and engaging, but the cat-and-mouse chase at the end, which of course like any monster story is not the “real” end, was largely unsatisfying. In fact, I had almost wished they left that damn thing in its casket and just taken in back to the lab.

Web heads who can’t get enough of Mr. Pasty’s word vomit are encouraged to watch him operate as Nostradumbass over at here. Love, hate and Mafia Wars requests should be directed here.


Writer: Kieron Gillen
Artists: Greg Land & Jack Kirby
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Optimous Douche

My feelings on this final issue of the X-MEN (until next week’s issue of X-MEN) made me understand what it must feel like to be bi-polar. Actually this whole closing “event” has had me sandwiched between loving and loathing. Just as I waffled on an issue to issue basis during SCHISM (loving the beginning and less so the ending), I was on a page by page basis for this “final” issue of UNCANNY X-MEN.

For anyone confused by the artistry on the this book, fear not: no one dug up Jack Kirby and used his hand like a Jim Henson muppeteer. And here is where I can say without reservation that the book succeeds. From the opening page harkening back to the X-Men’s first adventure (i.e. The Kirby art) to Land’s more modern day styling, the art was beautiful and apropos.

Now for the story. This didn’t feel like an end or a beginning. Perhaps I’m too accustomed to the DC version of endings: take one big event that is the end of everything and then start over like no one ever knew one another. In that light UNCANNY 544 is merely an interlude ending the turmoil on Utopia and, as we saw in SCHISM, a return to Graymalkin Lane for half of the team. Perhaps I feel unfazed by this end because we have seen it before. Starting way back in the 80s the X-family has splintered on many many occasions, probably the most notable being the split in the early 90s when Jim Lee’s X-MEN was released. Plus, everyone has seemed to hate and shun Scott Summers at one point or another, so when Bobby is giving his petulant good-byes throughout this issue, always running through my mind was the fact that these two will back together at one point or another.

Now, what did work on one level was how Gillen chose to drive the narrative. We see the Kirby art in the beginning because Gillen decides to break the fourth wall…in a sense. Oh, and we are entering spoiler country so beware. Apparently Mr. Sinister, the diamond forehead albino who has been manipulating the X-gene throughout history, has also been chronicling the adventures of the X-Men and in comic book form...well, book form…well, mathematical lineage trees….well, all of the above. And while I loved this approach in the beginning, with the campy silver age characters spouting dialogue about the current state of the X-Men, there were times it all seemed a little too Dr. Evil for my tastes. Throughout the issue, it’s a ping pong back and forth between Sinister describing the history of the X-Men and then flashing to the present day mess-o-shit. Again, it was fun in comic form, but after that when we finally get to see Sinister, it felt like a little too much monologing.

I think Gillen had his hands tied as for meeting the grand expectation of a final issue and this not being a final issue. X-MEN was the third book I started collecting and I just kind of expected more from what should be the end back when I was a wee Douche. Even after I graduated college and had the scratch to go back and buy all the books before I was born, I knew this trip would end one day, I just didn’t think it would end with the brunt of the book having Scott being told he’s an epic Opticock.

However, with a reboot happening by the time you read this, with Sinister being reborn as…Sinister with a different haircut and clothes, I say again this is not a FINAL ISSUE as we would be led to believe by the 35 point font type on the cover. It’s really just another issue, neither good nor bad, merely “meh”.


Writer: John Layman
Art: Albero Ponticelli
IDW Publishing
Reviewer: MajinFu

After four issues, the story finally concludes with the monster mash Godzilla fans have been waiting for.

Alberto Ponticelli knows how to frame the monsters in a way that captures the scale and magnitude of their brawl without ever losing the vision of the fight. Layman’s script, while tying things up a little too cleanly for my taste, is serviceable. Considering how laid back previous issues were, it does feel a little rushed, but I’ll forgive that because in terms of monster spectacle this book delivers!

In the end, we are left with a new status quo concerning Mothra that could lead to some interesting new developments, but that is a story for another time. For now, kaiju fans will be happy to know this book sends off the big lizard with a wink and a smile.

What more could you ask for?

Advance Review: In stores today!


Writer: Jason Aaron
Penciler: Marc Silvestri
Pencil Assists: Michael Broussard
Inkers: Joe Weems, Rick Basaldua, Sal Regla
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewed by
Johnny Destructo

I consider myself a fan of Jason Aaron, for sure. Even though I don't always hang with every single thing he writes, the bits that I like, I LOVE. Like 16-year-old-dry-hump-till-I-blister kind of love. PUNISHER MAX is one of my favorites and if you aren't reading SCALPED, you deserve to be taint-pummeled. Besides that, you have to admit, that Jason Aaron can grow a HELLuva beard. That thing is unnatural and potentially a gateway to a hell dimension, and it makes me afraid of him.

That said: there wasn't much in here that I found myself really excited about. I'm afraid I'm going to spoil most of the happenings of this issue for you, so if you don't want to know ANYthing about this book then skip to the better written reviews below. Now, I'm not going to spoil the end, since I thought that was pretty cool, but everything else is fair game. Be warned. Now, what is it I'm going to spoil? The Hulk fights some monsters. The Hulk has *finally* found himself a place where he can live in peace. Where he is no longer a freak. Where he no longer has to bother with pesky human bein - ohwaittheyfoundhim. Yup. The first 4th of the book: monster fighting. Second 4th of the book, being content, but not believing that he'll be content for long. Third 4th: humans show up and literally fight him for no reason other than getting him to take them seriously. They couldn't just walk up and say "Hulk, we need your help." Instead they attack him and make him mad and THEN say "Hulk, we need your help." Buh-whaaa? Granted, it ends on a mysterious and interesting note, which makes me curious about issue 2, but I think it would have been better served if the first 3/4 of the book wasn't just a smattering of Hulk clichés.

And why did it take 5 people to draw this book? It took 2 pencilers, 3 inkers and THEN it went to the colorist. I'm always curious about the behind-the-scenes of something like this. The issue feels rushed, and the amount of people involved doesn't help that notion. It looks nice enough, in a sketchy kind of way, but absolutely everything is drawn with the same lines. Scaly exterior of an underground monster, drawn the same as the soft, wet, fleshy interior of that monster's mouth, drawn the same as the rocky caverns that serve as the setting, and the robots that show up to fight the Hulk. Everything is made up of so many individual lines and so much cross-hatching, it all looks like it's made of hay. Except Amanda Von Doom's butt. That looks like a butt.

I have enough faith in Jason Aaron that I'm not so worried about where this is all going--I'm definitely going to check out issue #2--but I just wish I had a better experience with #1.

Hey folks, Ambush Bug here. We’re trying something new this week. I know podcasts are all the rage these days and while an @$$Holes Podcast is in the works, friend of the @$$Holes John Ary is putting together his own mini comic review podcast from his local comic shop The Gatekeeper in Topeka, Kansas with comic shop owner Dustin Dean. Here’s what John and Dustin have to say about a few select books hitting the shelves today. Take it away, John!

Look for more podcasts in the coming weeks!

Editing, compiling, imaging, coding, logos & cat-wrangling by Ambush Bug
Proofs, co-edits & common sense provided by
Sleazy G

Remember, if you have a comic book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.

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Readers Talkback
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  • Oct. 26, 2011, 9:27 a.m. CST

    DAMN IT!

    by Poptard_JD

    That's what I meant. You're right. Thanks! *slinks away, shame-faced* :)

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 9:31 a.m. CST


    by Hedgehog000

    I find myself much more interested in Red Hulk these days then regular Hulk. I like Parker's work and Red Hulk actually has much more personality thanks to semi-reformed General Ross. Kind of like how I've always preferred Guy Gardner over Hal Jordan as Green Lantern.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 9:47 a.m. CST


    by welcometothepartypal


  • Oct. 26, 2011, 9:59 a.m. CST

    What? Ross is back from the dead? Nobody ever dies.

    by UltraTron

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Marvel Zombies:

    by UltraTron

    God. Is there anything finer? Are there any comics more satisfying? Was I even a Marvel fan before marvel zombies?

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Hulk/Red Hulk

    by Poptard_JD

    I want to like a Hulk book, I really do. I just can't bring myself to care. Like I said, the end of Hulk 1 is pretty interesting, in an Island of Doctor Moreau kind of way..hopefully it'll pick up. That's the problem with first issues. They need to be immediately engaging and entertaining to pull me in, but I also sometimes like a slow-build. It's a terrible fine-line for a writer to walk when staring a new series. Seriously though...why did they restart the series...again? Was that really necessary?

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Ugh, Image's THE VAULT looks like more movie fodder to me

    by qweruiop

    You know what I'm talking about. The whole rage at Image these days seems to be them making comics specifically geared as movie properties. Such comics always come with quirky ideas, are never set to last more than 4 or 5 issues, and will no doubt include writers/artists already talking to movie studios about their series. I can already imagine writer Sam Sarkar meeting with producers, no doubt pitching THE VAULT as the next blockbuster for Christian Bale or Will Smith, talking to them about the potential toys, books, t-shirts, soundtracks, etc. (Such a formula Image also followed throughout the 90's, which led to the famous montage of Rob Liefeld holding "meetings" with Will Smith, Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg). But who's really to blame Image for continuing this process you know? Each movie fodder comic book series costs practically nothing to make, and all it takes is one successful pitch to make things worthwhile.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 10:59 a.m. CST

    deadpool needs to get rid of the ditko spidey eyes.

    by iampain

    give the ditko spidey eyes back to spidey and try using some original imagination.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Who the hell is John Layman?

    by maxwell's hammer

    You do realize David Lapham wrote DEADPOOLMAX, right? Since issue #1. It's kind of his thing.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Another week, another @sshole mistake

    by Doctor Manhattan

    Layman is not the writer of DeadpoolMAX. That would be Dave Lapham of Stray Bullets fame.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Ross hasn't been REALLY dead in a long time

    by Doctor Manhattan

    His most recent "death" was all a cover-up and he was Red Hulk all along.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 11:33 a.m. CST


    by kungfuhustler84

    My apologies to Mr. Lapham for not giving credit where credit is due.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Justice League #2

    by Joenathan

    I read it. Johns is really amused by the Flash and Green Lantern, huh?

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 11:41 a.m. CST

    The podcast

    by Olsen Twins_Fan


  • Oct. 26, 2011, 11:49 a.m. CST

    I used to idolize Jim Lee and before that Marc Silvestri

    by Autodidact

    These days I find their art kinda ugly.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 11:52 a.m. CST

    I hate The Flash...

    by superhero

    Well, don't hate him...just don't give a crap about him one way or the other...

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 11:53 a.m. CST


    by Joenathan

    It's too stiff, is what I think it is. And somewhat emotionless. Check out the Justice League #2 cover. Batman and Superman are fighting, but judging by Superman's face, he isn't even in the same room.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Just read the last thirty issues of Amazing Spider-Man

    by Laserhead

    And all of 'New Avengers' before that (awful). So, is it me, but is Spider-Man's personality written as constantly irritating now? He's not witty; he doesn't save his barbs for when he's in a fight, he's just an unfunny motormouth constantly. Like most of Deadpool.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Out of all the characters, why Cyborg?

    by sunwukong86

    Is it because Johns thinks he's cool like Aquaman and Barry Allen? I mean I can kinda understand wanting to revisit the silver age characters but I honestly dont get Cyborg

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 12:20 p.m. CST

    You're awfully perceptive doctor manhattan, would you like to be my editor?

    by kungfuhustler84

    Unfortunately I can't pay you 'cause I'm poor as fuck but at least then you won't have to bitch after the fact every week on the talkbacks.

  • J/K. Where would we be without the amazing talk-backers who heap us with thanks for bringing them free content every week? and here comes my trademark nipple pinch! >(o)< honkhonk!

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 12:33 p.m. CST

    I don't get it either, sunwukong86

    by Poptard_JD

    I love Cyborg in the Teen Titans cartoon, but that's the only time I've felt anything for that character.. I'm holding off judgment until it plays out though..maybe Johns has a good reason that we don't know about yet. Dude isn't even Cyborg yet, so it's hard to tell.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 12:39 p.m. CST


    by Joenathan

    There's a definite "pulled out of a hat" feeling to the choice. I guess they don't want Manhunter, but there seems like there would be some more iconic characters before him. Near as I can figure, they want that Iron Man type vibe for the team and he'll also be their Everyman. I alos liked him in the Teen Titans cartoon.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 12:40 p.m. CST

    Really I'm grateful to you

    by kungfuhustler84

    Learn from every mistake and all that. Hopefully next week I can muster enough professionalism to put forth pristine reviews WITH all the correct names and facts. Really. I mean it this time. Honest Injun.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Red "hulk" sucks

    by deelzbub

    He exists as an insult to Hulk and Hulk fans. If anyone can turn into a "hulk" by applying Gamma radiation, then what makes the Hulk unique? Marvel has shot themselves in the foot with this bullshit.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 3:15 p.m. CST

    That's funny

    by Joenathan

    good one, deelzbub

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 3:15 p.m. CST

    You guys are on crack

    by Doctor Manhattan

    You have one job in these reviews. Get the titles and creators correct. Everything else is subjective. And still, every week, someone fucks it up. And it isn't even the lack of editing that is appalling, it is the gross ignorance about the medium that is so ridiculous. Not being able to identify artists by their art, attributing stories to phantom writers...If you are writing a review of a Batman story and don't even know who longstanding and beloved characters are, or cannot be bothered to do a basic Goggle search to figure it out (this actually happened), why the hell are you reviewing comics? Go review something you actually care about.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Stop using the phrase "beloved"

    by Joenathan

    It degrades us all.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 3:42 p.m. CST

    ross/red hulk

    by foree forehead

    i like parker's stuff. red hulk was better than that pak shite recently with amadeus cho and hulk's "supporting cast" - blech. when they introduced red hulk they shoulda given him a big black beard and hinted that he was somehow the Maestro who had travelled back in time. then in the ultimate battle, the green one gains the upper hand, and savagely tears the beard off leaving ross's unmistakable moustache behind. and then the dawning light of understanding in the jade giant's eyes. hulk needs a beard, hell i'd be satisfied with a 'tache on red hulk at the moment. no one knows where it goes..!

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 3:47 p.m. CST

    well deelzbub

    by foree forehead

    i partially agree, i've grown to like the character but almost in spite of ross. i'd like there to be more mutation of red hulk's behavior away from the "humanity" of ross. not sure parker's addressing that. making him a OWS protesting non-violent pansy for a few issues would be good laugh, for example. (i support ows for the record.) i don't think you can gripe too much about red hulk being that big an insult to hulk fans because of the gamma radiation reason - didn't that "create" she-hulk and doc. samson, essentially? nahh, i'd be more insulted by the betty revival (as red she hulk, christ, now THAT'S insulting, not to hulk fans, just to general humanity in terms of what's considered "a good idea") and the rick jones = abomb thing. sigh, awful, awful, awful.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Cyborg's on the team because he's black.

    by rev_skarekroe

    And he's more famous then Black Lightning because he's in a cartoon.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Red Hulk is terrific

    by Laserhead

    Parker writes Marvel's two best superhero books. But, yeah, that mustache has bugged the fucking shit out of me from the get-go... it's a cheat, at the least.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 5:33 p.m. CST

    but doctor manhattan, I DO care about comics

    by kungfuhustler84

    Whereas all you seem willing to discuss every week is the typos you see, which is why I offered you the role of my personal editor. That way I can worry more about the subjective matter, while you can focus on the cold hard facts you care so much about. Ya see, I'm passionate about comics and sharing them with others on this site is an opportunity I am thankful to have every week. I always enjoy writing glowing reviews more than so-so ones, but sometimes I let my love of the material get in the way of my professionalism and for that I owe you an apology. I don't know why you're really here, but if it's really to discuss comics, something you apparently share a burning nerd-love for like I do, you are welcome to start at any time.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 7:14 p.m. CST

    Justice League #2 still weak...

    by Tom Fremgen

    mind you I love that the big 7 (or rather 6) are back in the book, and I'm a fan of both Johns and Lee. But I'm just not digging the whole deal. Mark Waid's JLA Year One was much better. And Darwyn Cooke's The Frontier comes off even more brilliant compared to this.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 8:10 p.m. CST

    Cooke New Frontier

    by kungfuhustler84

    Easily my favorite Justice League story since the original JLI.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 9:12 p.m. CST

    New Frontier is my fave JLA story. ever.

    by Poptard_JD


  • Oct. 26, 2011, 9:15 p.m. CST

    doctor manhattan. why not just leave?

    by Poptard_JD

    if you don't like it and find it all so "appalling" why do you continue to come back week after week?

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 9:47 p.m. CST

    JUSTICE LEAGUE is a Rabbit Fuck Pace

    by optimous_douche

    I think that's where i"m getting disconnected...too much shit, too quickly. Why the fuck did they all start fighting at the beginning? Last issue I remember them just kinda saying hi... And Joen, no Martian Manhunter becasue they are using him in STORMWATCH. You know...the cool big kid JUSTICE LEAGUE.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 9:57 p.m. CST


    by optimous_douche

    Someone's in a Troll Chumming mood this week hmmmm. Dolly Parton mortor boat ( . )Y( . )

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 10:12 p.m. CST

    haha! I just hate trolls! I don't understand what they get out of it!

    by Poptard_JD

    I understand that being assholes on the internet is the only thing that keeps them from blowing their brains out. I guess that's enough of a reason. I just wish they'd pull the trigger already.

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 10:29 p.m. CST


    by Joenathan

    I tried, I really did, but that comic bored the ass off me. Too bad, I used to love Stormwatch back in the day... Of course, Warren Ellis was writing it then, but...

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 10:55 p.m. CST


    by optimous_douche

    Ya, there's absolutely no denying it's different. STORMWATCH now has to fit into the context of a much greater whole, supporting a mythology that is now umpteen years old versus only a few years... But out of the 52 books, I have the highest hope for potential once they get out of the mandatory exposition. To date I think part of the slowness might acme from already having a familiarity with the characters,

  • Oct. 26, 2011, 11:21 p.m. CST


    by Joenathan

    Umpteen years? Oh, no, no, no, no... This is the new 52, my friend. It's only been 5 years. I think the merging of DC and Wildstorm is going to be the hardest, for the most part, in the end. I think it'll end up being like the Sentry trying to fit into Marvel, just... out of place, too much DC in the MArvel, where as Wildstorm is going to be too much Marvel in the DC.

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 3:18 a.m. CST

    How do you expect people's reactions to be, when

    by Dennis_Moore

    the tone of your reviews is that of a puerile eighth-grader? Write like an adult, and the audience might take you seriously. Dry-humping and taint-pummeling? Your talkback responses are equally infantile. Pot meet Kettle.

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 7:47 a.m. CST

    oh dennis, we meet again. oh wait, no we don't.

    by Poptard_JD

    shhh. i've learned from your last attempt at a "non"versation. i won't be responding to you. have a great day, buddy!

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 12:30 p.m. CST

    forehead - Red "hulk"

    by deelzbub

    I agree with you on the sheer stupidity of Red Betty. And aside from the nice design of A-bomb, the idea of Rick Jones being Abomination 2.0 is weak as well. And then a third She-hulk. . . How many multiple versions of characters does one company need? And more to the point, is Marvel paying the editor of the Hulk books real money? He should be run out of town on a rail. Aside from the handling of Tyrannus, which was at least decent for such a great villain, I have not been happy with the Hulk in some time. And the fact that they're now making toys and statues of the red "hulk", irks me to no end. I hope they lose lots of money on that horseshit. Here's hoping the new Hulk series is a return of Hulk Smash greatness.

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 12:55 p.m. CST

    poptard & mai

    by Doctor Manhattan

    I still come by AICN Comics because every now and then, there is a good review up on these pages. But those days are definitely fewer and farther between. The preferred older writers don't post as much, and the newer ones are just not as interesting. I skim more than read these days, looking for that nugget of goodness. It only takes a few minutes. If I want to talk comics, I'll do it with actual people face to face at the store. And I do like reading the consensus on certain books in the talkbacks from same names I trust. But none of that matters, because as the review "writers" you are too offended when major errors are pointed out. Sometimes errors that are so egregious it destroys the credibility of the reviewer. Errors that sit up there without correction. And no one is busting your shit about spelling or some cannot get creator credits consistently right! It makes me wonder if you even read these books. So obviously, your failure to properly get your review accurate is my fault for being too critical. I know you aren't the New York Times, but at least know the basic facts of what you are talking about. People bust Harry's balls for his opinion, but at least he knows the names of the directors and cinematographers and whatnot of the films he is referencing. You get enough eyes on this page to be considered legitimate authorities on this medium, and you post without even a basic fact check.

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 1:56 p.m. CST

    I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten any of that incorrect.

    by Poptard_JD

    But okee dokee

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 2 p.m. CST


    by Poptard_JD

    "that sit up there without correction" we don't all have access to update this page. "the preferred writers don't post as much" *JD taps his chin thoughtfully whilst pondering how much of that is because of the negativity of the talk-backs and infantile bitching. hmmm.

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 3:35 p.m. CST


    by Joenathan

    While I don't agree with the Doc, I would like to say that, if the reason some folks don't review is because some people say mean stuff sometimes... well, here:

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 8:18 p.m. CST


    by Poptard_JD

    At any rate, after surviving testicular cancer, I actually thought about getting a prosthestical, but decided against having a weird foreign lump in my scrot. One foreign mass in my body was enough!

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 8:28 p.m. CST

    so what you're saying is:

    by Poptard_JD

    "hey now, this here fella doesn't wanna keep shelling out his own money to attend cons and interview people for the most infantile talkbackers on the entire internet to constantly berate and call names and be openly mocked? He doesn't want to stay up late reading books and writing reviews so that people can twist those words around and make up lies about him? He doesn't enjoy being called a racist or a misogynist or any other kind of insult just because his view on a character or story is different than a talk-backers? He doesn't want to be cyber-stalked and threatened by people on the internet through facebook all because of a comic book review?? He doesn't want to spend hours of his week doing all this for absolutely no pay, just for the love of comics?? Well, by golly, that sumbitch just needs to have false testicles implanted in him, tha's all!" Let me know if I got that right. >(o)<

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 11:54 p.m. CST

    Yes, perfect

    by Joenathan

    Or more succinctly: Toughen up. Also: You guys do this for free? Suckers

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 11:55 p.m. CST

    You assume one is restricted to one handle.

    by Dennis_Moore

    You continue to respond to plenty of my posts. Though I wouldn't consider your comments to be conversation either, as you lack the insight and wit for actual exchange.

  • Oct. 27, 2011, 11:58 p.m. CST

    You really shouldn't be wasting your time here, anyway,

    by Dennis_Moore

    when you have that narcissistic web comic gathering cobwebs.

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 1:15 a.m. CST

    joenathan...oh, well then i'm glad we're on the same page.

    by Poptard_JD

    I was just checking. READ these for free. now tell me, who's the REAL suckers? ;)

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 1:59 a.m. CST

    Optimous: I think my point has been made for me

    by Poptard_JD

  • These reviews are amusing: "...I'm not a kid anymore or an awkward teenager so I no longer look to comics to imagine a fantasy world for myself. I can't speak on what level of customer service you're supposed to get inside of a comic store but like any business I'd assume they want to sort of drive business and help you out. I always get the vibe in this place that if you don't look like a "comic guy" you don't really get any attention from the sales staff and for some odd reason they are always eating some sort of fast food whenever I come in right at the counter. If I'm going to buy any comics I'll go to Brave New World. The only reason I come in this comic store is so my son can pester me about wanting action figures they have that cost 2x as much as other places or ebay..." And "...It's not that this place is terrible, but it's small, it's tucked away in the back on the upper level, and it doesn't smell too great..." Well, at least he thought the employees were friendly.

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 2:06 a.m. CST

    Either he is the saddest MF'er on the Internet

    by Poptard_JD

    Or my ole' testicular tumor (his name was Crunchy) has learned how to type. Crunchy, izzat u, boy? Come give daddums a hug, babyboy. There there, stop crying. I'm sorry I rejected u and had those mean ole' doctors cut you out of my scrotum. Do u miss my silky smooth coin purse, Denn- I mean Crunchy?

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 2:18 a.m. CST

    Stormwatch was really interesting a lonnnng time ago

    by Poptard_JD

    But I can't say I cared for either issue 1 or 2 this go-round. I also can't get over Midnighter's chin-spike. It's unsettling..

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 2:33 a.m. CST

    dingbatty/dennis "wonderwomanpanties" moore:

    by Poptard_JD

    You forgot some more of the quotes there, Stalker-tits. "Best comic book shop staff in the area...." "Like I said, the guys here are really nice, nicest I've met, maybe in any store.... or maybe ever..... but don't go looking to shop, go looking to pick one or two new things and having a cool conversation about stuff you are going to buy in other stores (but do do them the favor of buying something so these genuine gentleman can keep their jobs!)" You really are a sad pathetic stalker. Or my tumor. ok, Both. I'm going with both. Get out of my scrotum and do something worthwhile with your time. My webcomic may be collecting dust, but at least I'm doing something. All you seem to be good at is making people on the internet uncomfortable, and looking them up on the internet and stalking where they have part-time jobs. Bravo. That's time waaay better spent then writing and drawing something.

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 3:07 a.m. CST


    by Joenathan

    That would still be you... Come on

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 3:10 a.m. CST

    Just so we're clear though

    by Joenathan

    I don't endorse the stalker. And I only make fun to amuse myself, no real spite. Or when I feel someone deserves it. Or when I'm bored. Or just cause.

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 3:11 a.m. CST


    by Jason Sterrett


  • Oct. 28, 2011, 3:16 a.m. CST

    joenathan once more

    by Jason Sterrett

    sorry, I punched the return button slightly ahead of schedule. I don't quite understand the Sentry comment above. You didn't like The Sentry? Come now, he ripped Carnage in two. Doesn't that count for anything?

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 3:22 a.m. CST

    poptard: That guy seriously looked up where you work?

    by Jason Sterrett

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 3:24 a.m. CST

    I know, joenathan: most of the shenanigans

    by Poptard_JD

    are either in good fun or if not, reaches a reasonably pleasant conclusion by the end. every single person I've argued with in the past winds up being very pleasant eventually. We get over it and move on and tease each other.. and then there's dingbatt/dennis_moore. he makes it extremely personal and pathetic. he's the stapler guy from Office Space. Sad and probably relegated to the basement in every aspect of his life. it's a bummer.

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 3:41 a.m. CST

    also: thanks for not endorsing dennis_moore/dingbatty/jiggletits

    by Poptard_JD

    but beware, he may stalk you next for not endorsing him. He might refer to YELP reviews that say you're extremely friendly and that your customer service is great but that your boss charges too much for action figures! ooOOOooOooooOOOOOooo! (that's my scary ghost noise, btw)

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 1:31 p.m. CST


    by Joenathan

    I meant, Sentry was a very DC-flavored character and that's why he didn't really find a spot where he fit in the Marvel Universe. I feel like Stormwatch is a very Marvel-flavored idea and it ultimately won't fit in the DCU.

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 1:32 p.m. CST


    by Joenathan

    You DO charge too much for action figures, so... you know, own it.

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 6:55 p.m. CST

    It's true! And...

    by Poptard_JD

    It came down from on high that we are now going to start charging $10 for variants on the day they hit shelves. I realize most shops do this but I liked that we didnt

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 7:05 p.m. CST

    Yup far he has

    by Poptard_JD

    Referenced my looks, my web comic, the shop that I work in but have no control over (and referenced reviews of our OLD smaller location) Amazing and sad

  • Oct. 28, 2011, 7:09 p.m. CST

    The sentry

    by Poptard_JD

    Got really annoying, but I did like that he went totally evil. A character with promise but was ultimately poorly handled, IMHO

  • Nov. 30, 2011, 12:01 a.m. CST

    It's hardly stalking when your facebook link is right

    by Dennis_Moore

    there at the top of the thread.

  • Nov. 30, 2011, 12:02 a.m. CST

    And I'm sooo sure you've never clicked on someone's

    by Dennis_Moore

    social network links, if they are out in the open.

  • Nov. 30, 2011, 12:06 a.m. CST

    And why would I want to draw and write comics?

    by Dennis_Moore

    They are simply for reading. The whole thing with everyone who reads comics wanting to work in that biz is pathetic. I watch TV and movies as well, but don't want to make them. I already have a career.