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Mr. Beaks Drops His Guard For REAL STEEL!

There are two types of people in this world: those who love ROCKY III, and those who won't allow themselves to love ROCKY III. Shawn Levy's REAL STEEL is for the unrepentant philistines in the former category. It's an Amblin-esque amalgam of every sports movie cliche known to man, all fused together for maximum uplift. This movie wants you to feel sensational; it wants to drown out the fury and sorrow of the outside world for two hours with robot-smashing spectacle and father-son bonding. It is mercilessly manipulative, corny as hell and rigorously upbeat. It works because it embraces 1980s-style garishness as a virtue. This is emphatic, well-crafted hokum. It is ROCKY III.

And I fucking love ROCKY III.

Actually, it's a lot of other movies, too: THE CHAMP, PAPER MOON, OVER THE TOP, THE IRON GIANT and ROCKY IV. But it never feels cynically packaged - which is a shock coming from Levy, director of the loud and exhausting NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM movies. It's affectionate theft: close to homage, but not quite that fancy. REAL STEEL isn't commenting on genre; it is unabashedly of its critically-maligned genre. It is also, on the fringes, a quasi-plausible work of science fiction that posits a believable future in which humans - presumably jacked up on all manner of performance enhancers - can no longer safely participate in violent sports. In this regard, the film has a little in common with its source material: Richard Matheson's short story, "Steel" (which was turned into a classic 1963 TWILIGHT ZONE episode starring Lee Marvin). Just don't expect a conclusion anywhere in the dour neighborhood of Matheson's tale; a man stepping into the ring with one of REAL STEEL's eight-foot-tall bruisers would be nothing more than a swiftly successful suicide attempt.

What we get instead is a future world in which mayhem-hungry sports fans gather in arenas, warehouses or abandoned zoos to watch (and gamble on) sanctioned and unsanctioned robot boxing. When we meet ex-fighter Charlie Kenton (Hugh Jackman), he's toiling in the lowest possible level of the sport - pitting scrap-heap 'bots against flesh-and-blood rodeo bulls. It's a brutal, horrendously inhumane concept, but Jackman's got his star wattage dialed up to blinding intensity, so it's easy to overlook his Vick-ish activities. Later, Charlie learns that an ex-girlfriend has died, leaving behind Max (Dakota Goyo), the son he never wanted. But when Charlie realizes that Max's aunt (Hope Davis) has married into wealth, he feigns interest and makes a side deal with the husband (James Rebhorn) for $100,000 to take ten-year-old Max off their hands while the couple vacations for a few months.

Levy and screenwriter John Gatins (Dan Gilroy and Jeremy Leven receive "story" credits) have written Max as precocious and kinda pissy; he knows Charlie wants nothing to do with him, but as long as he's stuck with him, he wants in on the fight game. The bickering interplay between the two is lively enough as they attempt to make a killing in the underground division with "Noisy Boy", a top-tier 'bot Charlie purchased with the up-front money he scored from Rebhorn. But their hopes are dashed when Charlie goes all-or-nothing against a more experienced owner. All seems lost until Max, while scouring a junkyard for replacement parts with Charlie, literally stumbles upon Atom. Max forms an instant attachment to the machine, which, like all great underdog fighters, is notable for his/its ability to take a licking without going down for the count. Atom's just a lifeless machine, but Max sees something more in the robots' bright blue eyes. And his faith in the robot is rewarded with an improbable climb out of the underground and into the legitimate, big-time realm of World Robot Boxing. Once Charlie begins to believe in Atom's potential, it becomes plenty obvious that the dent-riddled 'bot is the palooka's last shot at redemption as an owner, a fighter and a father.

That any of this works beyond minute one is a testament to Jackman's ferociously charismatic take on an overly familiar archetype. This is the certainly best he's been since the 2006 combo of THE PRESTIGE and THE FOUNTAIN, and possibly the most switched on he's been since the first X-MEN. Where has this guy been, and why isn't he one of the biggest stars on the planet? Jackman also generates palpable chemistry with Evangeline Lilly, who, as the fiery daughter of Charlie's former trainer, acquits herself nicely in what could've easily been a nothing role.

But Levy, a director who's taken his lumps from the critics over the years (to put it mildly), deserves an equal amount of credit for delivering a film that is confidently staged, briskly paced and, with regard to the seamless integration of top-notch CG with Legacy Effects' amazingly functional robots, visually plausible. I kept waiting for REAL STEEL to collapse into utter inanity like the MUSEUM movies and DATE NIGHT, but Levy maintains a consistent tone throughout. He trusts the material, and generally allows the key emotional moments to develop in rhythm. There are a few scenes I could've done without (in particular, Max teaching Atom to dance), but when you're emulating the '80s crowd-pleaser template, there's gonna be excess.

Having grown up in the time of Amblin treacle and ROCKY sequels, I'm okay with a movie working me over so long as it knows the basic combinations. With REAL STEEL, Levy backs you in a corner early and pours it on until you've no choice but to throw in the towel.

Faithfully submitted,

Mr. Beaks

Readers Talkback
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  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Could this possibly be good?

    by iamnicksaicnsn


  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:38 a.m. CST

    If I had a twelve year old son...

    by bubcus

    ... I would bring him to see this movie. But seeing as I don't, I have no interest. This is the Karate Kid of the 80s for me and I'm really just too old for this kind of film.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:45 a.m. CST

    Unfortunately for the majority of Talkbackers

    by Teddy Artery

    they are unable to meet girls, much less mate, so it's a sure bet to say this father-son targeted movie will never receive a fair review here. ;)

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:45 a.m. CST


    by Alice Cooper Stalker

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:46 a.m. CST

    Rock'em Sock'em Robots The Motion Picture

    by Alice Cooper Stalker

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:48 a.m. CST

    I won't ever be too old for this kind of film.

    by blackwood

    I'm excited for it.

  • This has Hugh Jackman and robots. Even after reading your review, I can't see how it'd be even close. I mean who cares if robots fight? It's not like it hurts them. I dunno. I'm not going to see it. I don't care how many times Jackman gets his tits out. How many times is it anyway?

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:55 a.m. CST

    re: "why isn't he one of the biggest stars on the planet?"

    by Hercules

    Hugh Jackman isn't one of the biggest stars on the planet?

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:55 a.m. CST

    There are two types of people in this world

    by Bass Ackwards

    The "there are two types of people in this world" needs to be put on the ban list of acceptable introductions, right up there with "The Webster's dictionary defines the word..." and "this will either be a movie you either love, or a movie you hate..." As to the film, I hate to rag on kids, but I came away from the trailer thinking the kid was terrible. I hoped maybe the movie just wouldn't focus so much on him, but it sounds like that won't be the case with the father-son emphasis in the flick. But maybe the trailer does him a disservice, I still remain skeptical on the flick, but I like Jackman enough to maybe possibly give it a chance.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 1:09 a.m. CST

    ok, i'm sold. i'm a total sucker for 80s movies.

    by antonphd

    if, as you say that, this movie is Rocky 3 then i will enjoy the hell out of it.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 1:15 a.m. CST

    I love Rocky III too

    by dukeroberts

    But I'm not interested.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 1:40 a.m. CST

    @bass ackwards

    by Phil

    Yes indeed, along with the "If done right this movie could be good" saying. Um, wouldn't any movie done "right" be good?

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 2:45 a.m. CST

    you had me at

    by javery56

    you had me at Ro

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 2:46 a.m. CST

    I love the cheesy greatness that is ROCKY IV!!!!

    by 3D-Man

    I don't care who knows it.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 2:46 a.m. CST

    You had me at Rocky III

    by javery56

    Ill read the rest after I see the movie in 2 days.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 2:55 a.m. CST

    So Dolph Lundgren plays the robot in this film?

    by Wookie_Weed

    He's good at playing robots.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 3:48 a.m. CST

    I love '80s movies and the Rocky sequels

    by photoboy

    I definitely want to see this now, even more than when I saw the trailer and thought "Rocky with robots" sounded awesome.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 4:14 a.m. CST

    Rocky III had some great quotes...

    by goodhorse

    I don't hate Balboa. But I pity the fool...

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 4:15 a.m. CST

    And also: "My prediction for the fight? Pain ..."

    by goodhorse

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 5:30 a.m. CST

    This movie looks like mindless derivative crap.

    by WarrenSmooth

    But it's got robots, hugh jackman, and boxing... I'm in.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 5:37 a.m. CST


    by Extr3m1st

    I guess people aren't so quick to bash this review as opposed to the last one where every talkback asshole had his own plant theory. This looks entertaining and I will be catching it.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 5:56 a.m. CST

    It's mindless, infantile and cyncially marketed crap...

    by huskerdu2

    ...sorry, but it's just no damn good. Yes, it's every cliche imaginable, but you need to have something else added to the mix to make it work on its own two feet. Sadly, it is just The Champ meets Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em. Hugh Jackman is perfectly cast in this as he pretty much encapsulates the problems with the film- nice to look at, but absolutely nothing going on past the surface.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 6:10 a.m. CST

    I've seen it. It's more Over the Top than Rocky 3...

    by Stegman84

    In fact it basically is a glosier, better acted Over the Top, only with Rock Em Sock Em Robots instead of Arm Wrestling. Passable hokum, nothing more, nothing less.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 6:15 a.m. CST

    There are two types of people in this world

    by DOGSOUP

    People who believe there are two types of people in this world, and everyone else. In conclusion, how many people here who are not impressed with robots beating the crap out of each other were thrilled to give money to any of the three Transformers movies?

  • Because I fuckin' loved Rocky 3 when I was 12 too.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 7:10 a.m. CST

    stegman84, I had thought of Over The Top as well

    by Inexplicable_Nuclear_Balls

    Haven't seen Real Steel yet, but I got Over The Top vibes from the first time I saw the trailer.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 7:18 a.m. CST

    Since I found Rocky III to be atrocious

    by Shpadoinkle

    but enjoy alot of (less recent) films based on robots i'll probably just torrent this. Why would I pay to see a film which is proclaimed to have zero originality? Pay for the films that will fire your imagination, download mild distractions.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 7:23 a.m. CST

    Rockem Sockem Robots- RSR. Then the sequel could be RSR2.

    by UltraTron

    They should have paid hasbro for the name. Not sure if it's a better title than robot jox yet

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 7:25 a.m. CST


    by Sirmausalot


  • Oct. 4, 2011, 7:31 a.m. CST

    It appears they've changed marketing to sell the movie more

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I think it was early spring when I first saw this trailer, and the vibe I got was a down and out fighter who appeared to have, like all other boxers apparently, been replaced by machines. Now they are marketing it as a kids movie. Nothing wrong with that because this movie looks like it can KO both audiences. I haven't seen it, but now with the kid aspect explained this is clearly Over the Top. "What are the odds on Lincoln Hawk?" "20 - 1"

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 7:36 a.m. CST

    Hugh Jackman = The Rock Hudson of our time..

    by Bodacious_Crumb

    ...not that there's anything wrong with that.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 7:38 a.m. CST

    so-EXACTLY what you expect,no surprises

    by j2talk

  • As well as the role of Jimmy, who originally created Atom, played by a young Brian Cox

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 7:48 a.m. CST

    if hugh is our Rock Hudson then he needs to

    by ray a

    to find his Doris Day

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 7:59 a.m. CST

    Aww shit it has a story? Now it'll bomb.

    by OnO

    What was Levy thinking? You have to have mindless plot points saddled with nuclear explosions meshed with gaping holes in reason. You need terrible actors, with rotating shots of tits & ass, while robot heaven sit in the CGI wings to make billions off the morons. You can't make a robot movie with heart or anything coherent and expect it to do anything. You're not reaching a large enough demographic. Unless Atom falls in love with EVE your screwed... And I don't see any romantic flying through the space with a extinguisher in it's trailers.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 8:07 a.m. CST

    This Review is Proof

    by Aquatarkusman

    I maintained that given that simply watching a preview for Real Steel dropped your IQ by 1-2 points... so seeing the whole movie would drop it by 10-20. And some of us don't have that luxurious cushion to work with.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 8:40 a.m. CST

    In a world where there are two types of people in this world...

    by vulturess


  • Oct. 4, 2011, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Wait. You liked Over the Top?

    by Knobules

    The kid in that movie was some kind of hybrid little girl with a schwantz creature. The entire time I watched that movie I kept wondering, what is that thing?

  • And that's not good

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Nice to see Freckles is still acting

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    I'd heard she was considering retiring from acting following Lost, so it's nice to see she's still going at it.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 9:09 a.m. CST

    More like Rocky 5

    by Pipple

    whoever said most talkbackers don't have girlfriends is right. I don't... but I deal with kids from time to time, when I'm out playing basketball. They need role models and shit, so I try my best to act all manly and crap around them so I can understand that stuff so stfu. I'm skeptical as hell about seeing this, looks like direct to video garbage.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 9:18 a.m. CST

    beaks, what was the purpose

    by freak2thec0re

    of spoiling the 1st act with Noisy Boy in your review?

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Damn, I was looking forward to the "dad disguised as a robot" scene.

    by Royston Lodge

    That's the WHOLE POINT of the original story!

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Over the Top had big macho men being men and Terry Funk

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    In this PC metrosexual society which wants to emasculate the population that is exactly the type of movie we need. Yes, I loved Over The Top. Also, Sammy Hagar's theme kicked ass.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 9:55 a.m. CST

    You know I always saw the Robot Jox box at the video store (dating myself)

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    But, I never rented it.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 10:01 a.m. CST

    As a matter of fact Hollywood, plug Sammy's Winner Takes it All into the credits.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

  • I've actually liked the trailers, and the early reviews have all been great. Father Geek loved it. The sci-fi angle on the "Rocky" formula should be enough to make me a slack jawed, happy camper.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Rocky III did not have a kid

    by Beezbo

    I just can't get myself to go to a movie in which the main character has to redeem himself in the eyes of his son. "Max teaching Atom to dance" is all I need to know about this one.

  • the world has outlawed war and now decides all its territorial disputes and whatnot by pitting a champion from each nation called a Robot Jock who pilots a giant 20 story tall robot into combat in an arena one-on-one. One who either submits first, has their bot rendered inoperable, or gets killed somehow before either of those two happen is the loser. Winner gets said dispute resolved in their nation's favor. The Robot Jocks are like the superstars of their day. The hero Apollo has something bad happen during a battle and quits...but then has to come out of retirement to battle the ruthless Alexander (a bastich who has no qualms about using the onlooking audience stands in his favor during the mention of why there are no laws governing the battles to protect said onlookers hahaha). Alexander, of course, speaks in a Russian accent and reps some soviet-like nation who cannot be allowed to win battles b/c you know....bad stuff will happen and stuff. The FX for the robot battles AIN'T half-bad. It is a pretty poorly acted but very entertaining flick. I think in capable hands it could make for a great A-movie.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 10:20 a.m. CST

    I thought Jackman WAS one of the biggest stars on the planet

    by krabklaw

    1)This looks like a really cool family family film like Spielberg used to make. 2)Date Night was godawful but Night at the Museum was pretty good family fodder

  • who wasn't James Caan.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Speaking of "Rocky III"

    by Hipshot

    I interviewed Ray Notaro, the fight choreographer for Rocky III for a magazine article, back when the movie came out. He said a couple interesting things: 1) By the time they were finished, Stallone would have made a decent 3-5 round fighter. 2) He had to keep the Stallone brothers apart. Put them in the ring together, and they'd knock the living hell out of each other.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 11:12 a.m. CST

    My buddy and I rented Robot Jox multiple times...

    by Royston Lodge

    ...just so we could make fun of the "hotwire the robot hand" scene. Also, the "fire the jets and fly into the sky for no good reason and then crash into the ground crippling my own robot" scene. Great fx. Terrible writing. There was another straight-to-video, giant robot movie from around the same time that made a hell of a lot more sense. I can't remember the title, unfortunately. The giant robot wasn't intended as a "fighting robot", but more like a "giant mobile crane", but the climactic robot fight was still pretty awesome. Anybody remember the title of the flick? I remember it also featured gratuitous nudity.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 11:16 a.m. CST

    No mention of ROBOT JOX?


    That's Jox *not Cox

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 11:21 a.m. CST

    That's no mention by Mr B


    Not the TB's. The other Jox movie was (I think) "CRASH & BURN".

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 11:23 a.m. CST

    The trailer completely put me off

    by Master of Zinj

    I feel like it told me the whole plot, minus any interesting character development, nuanced performances or interesting set-pieces. Completely killed it for me - and I like me some Hugh Jackman.

  • Holywood must hate Richard Matheson's guts.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Jackman carrys the film

    by david

    I really thought I'd hate this based on the trailers, but Jackman is charismatic enough that after sitting through it, I didn't feel like it was a waste of time. Not a glowing review, but considering I was annoyed at having to go see this, I was pleasantly surprised. It falls within all those cliches you expect it to, but it's fun and moves briskly despite the length. If I had a 9-15 year old son, this would be something I'd take him to for some father/son bonding time.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:15 p.m. CST

    teaching a robot to dance?

    by oisin5199

    Didn't anyone learn anything from Caprica?

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Two men. Two machines. Too wild. Yes, Robot Jox is ready for a remake.

    by SmokingRobot

    But this looks pretty trite and VERY predictable.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 1:15 p.m. CST

    I, unfortunately, don't have a 12-year-old

    by Peter Kellen

    But maybe I can get a hold of one by Friday.

  • ...a movie doesn't have to be original. It doesn't have to say something new and different. All it has to do is continue the routine. Don't make us question anything. Confirm prejudices. Yeah, these films cost hundreds of millions of dollars. Are distributed, marketed, and made by multi-billion dollar conglomerates. Which also own factories that churn out weapons of mass destruction to be sold to the highest "legal" bidder. Whose income for such factories usually comes from their film divisions' profit. And, okay, the industry supports something as corrupt as the M.P.A.A., thereby making it almost impossible for any truly original work to make it out of the neverland of regional distribution and marketing. And theater chain owners have jacked up the price for tickets to "IMAX" screens that are not really IMAX and "3-D" showings that are not presented right and show more commercials before movies in general. So what? I am a film fan and like all fans of things need constant confirmation of why I'm a fan to begin with. I will not get that from genuine originality. So, the Hell with all you trolls who don't like this film and others like it. When I go to movies, I want to have FUN. I don't want to think. My life has enough problems, I don't want to see more. God, why the FUCK do you have to be so negative. Here's some advice: If you don't have something nice to say, then, don't say it at all.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 1:45 p.m. CST

    The one aspect I thought was cool...

    by Andrew Coleman

    Was the idea in the future humans just can't play sports. Look at sports today... We're worried about concussions to the point it's kind ruining football and I can only see that getting worse. Still this movie seems a bit too on the kid side. I'm not hating on this movie... I still might see it. It's just in the commercials they have the kid saying hammy bull shit over and over. Look ass holes I really just want to see robots boxing and Hugh Jackman over acting, not so much a kid giving emotional monologues every five minutes. But will see.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 1:49 p.m. CST

    I can't wait to take my 10 year old boy to see this.

    by sweeneydave

    I had virtually zero bonding time with my dad. My parents avoided all kind of pop culture, movies, and geekdom. He passed away 9 years ago. I was worried that I wouldn't know how to bond with my son when he was born. Totally wrong about that. I get to share with him all the things I would gleefully enjoy as a kid (even though I had to get my geek fixes at my friends houses). I hated Van Helsing when it came out. Thought it was stupid and ridiculous. Then I watched it with my son. Van Helsing is meant to be viewed through a 7 year old's eyes. After that, I loved it. The recent G.I. Joe movie was for my 9 year old boy. Now he's 10 and we are going to be there for Reel Steel. Can't wait!

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 1:53 p.m. CST

    yeah frank Stallone hates his brother. You shoulda heard him

    by UltraTron

    on doctor drew's- not doctor drew but the other guy's webcast- just going off. Never gave a reason for the hate however. I wonder what the rivalry stems from. Pure jealously?

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 1:54 p.m. CST

    You want a 12 year old? I can get you a 12 year old by 3:00.

    by UltraTron

  • ...and everyone should have their guilty pleasures, but... comparisons to Rocky III, Over the Top and The Champ, AND directed by Shawn Levy? Wow... I'd rather drink my dinner from a used colostomy bag, thank you very much. Oh, and how dare you mention Iron Giant in connection with this horseshit, sir. How... dare... you.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 4:56 p.m. CST

    tophat - This Bud's for you...

    by spud_mcspud_returns

    ...I'm with you there. A couple of years back I had an epiphany with movies: I realised that being cynical wasn't making me happy, wasn't improving my life in any way, and in fact was just a drain on my emotions, my time and my life. So I said - FUCK IT. Enough with this criticise-EVERYTHING shit. If you enjoy a movie, no matter how shitty, just embrace the fact that you enjoyed it. No explanations, no over-analysis, just fucking ENJOY IT. I'm not advocating that we just accept shit for the sake of it, but if you happen to enjoy a brainless movie such as GI JOE or UNSTOPPABLE, then don't feel the need to defend it. If someone hates you for that, well - fuck 'em. That's THEIR problem, not yours. You got your ten bucks' worth of entertainment. Let them fester in their basements with their superiority complexes and their hate. Let them die inside, withered and cruel, gnawing at the void that lies inside themselves. Enjoy yourself, and fuck the rest of 'em.<P> Last week, I watched the second hour of SHANE, a stone-cold classic of a movie, and wept silent manly tears at that incredible ending. A few nights ago, I saw REAL STEEL on the big screen, and - sentimental old fuck that I am - I cried then, too. This IS a movie made for lovers of that Amblin' brand of saccharine, those who loved ROCKY IV uncynically, for those who still get all misty at Sean Astin's speech at the bottom of the well in THE GOONIES. Hugh Jackman is just great in this, and the action is superb, matched only by the ending. You'll recognise every single story beat in the narrative, there are bits of it you could probably quote verbatim BEFORE you watch the movie - but it is one of the most uplifting endings you'll see for a good while. Ignore these bitter, withered, cynical fucks - see this movie, and let REAL STEEL remind you of how uncynical cinema USED to be, back in the 80s.<P> And imagine how great SHANE would be if they remade it now, with Hugh Jackman in the lead...

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 5:02 p.m. CST

    For those too cynical to enjoy REAL STEEL...

    by spud_mcspud_returns

    Ah, fuck it. Your loss, fellas. REAL STEEL was a blast, plain and simple, and if hating a manipulative movie for its ability to move you to feeling something in your atrophied fucking souls makes you feel better about yourselves, nothing I say is gonna change it. It's too late for you. Watch your SCOTT PILGRIM movie and stay the fuck out of my way. I'm getting too tired of this shit to worry about your opinions. I loved this movie, and anybody cool enough to let themselves enjoy some prime 80s-style heartwarming brilliance will love the hell out of REAL STEEL. Those who don't - fuck it, there'll be another Bayhem to hate soon enough, or another Von Trier for you all to wank yourselves silly over. Stay out of the theatres. REAL STEEL is for those who want a moving experience, not a fucking intellectual exercise. It's a movie that touches your soul, not your mind or your dick. It moves you. So if that's not your bag, stay the fuck away and stop bitching. You're giving the rest of us a goddamn headache with your whining...

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 6:20 p.m. CST

    I love Rocky 3 but...

    by Cruzboy

    love Rocky 4 even more!!! Apollo's death and then a great vengeance fight against all odds in the cold heart of Russia! Does it to me every time!

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 8:02 p.m. CST


    by JaredP

    and so is ROCKY IV!!! this movie might be good, who knows?

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 9:31 p.m. CST


    by jedimast3r

    Because of the aforementioned points in the review, and also, the ludicrous "Snakes on a Plane, let's-go-see-it-totally-hammered" appeal that I'm feeling from people when they talk about it. <p>Hell, I can't wait to see it. Too bad no naked EL.

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 9:56 p.m. CST

    My prediction? "PAIN!"


    The C-Lang still rules!

  • Oct. 4, 2011, 11:49 p.m. CST

    You had me at III.

    by onezeroone

    I'll be there this weekend

  • Do 12 year old boys still go to the movies? With their parents? Guess we'll see.

  • Oct. 5, 2011, 1:46 a.m. CST

    I can tell that this movie will be good...

    by Fizzay

    Because it's poster is so inspired. Obviously another homerun for the master Drew Struzan... wait what do you mean they are trying to reinvoke 80's nostalgia? 80's aren;t coming back, you will forget about this movie in 5 months.

  • Oct. 5, 2011, 6:52 a.m. CST

    It's got Hugh Jackman, Robots and Showtunes...

    by foovo

  • Oct. 5, 2011, 7:17 a.m. CST

    Which robot will enter to Black Sabbath?

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

  • Oct. 5, 2011, 7:23 a.m. CST


    by ZodNotGod

    I love Rocky III too, but not this...never this.

  • Oct. 5, 2011, 7:28 a.m. CST

    Over the Top? HA! HA! Even Sly hates that one!

    by ZodNotGod

  • Oct. 5, 2011, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Other fighting robot movies:

    by Jaster Mareel

    Robot Jox. That movie fucking owns your soul! Stay away from Robot Jox 2 though, it is TEH SUCK! There's another one called Crash & Burn that only has a giant mech right at the end and I don't think it fights another robot. Another low budget film, this time from Golan-Globus, is really great and what Real Steel most reminds me of. It is called "Arena" and features Armin Shimmerman basically reprising his role as Quark, but this time in rat makeup. Arena is about an intergalactic gladiator game on a space station. It features all kinds of aliens and robots fighting each other. It's utterly fantastic. Unfortunately it has only ever been released on VHS. Who knows? Maybe Real Steel will prompt a Blu-ray release!

  • Oct. 5, 2011, 1:17 p.m. CST

    I'm really just too old for this kind of film.

    by JediWuddayaknow

    No you're not. You just take yourself too seriously.

  • Oct. 5, 2011, 10:04 p.m. CST


    by chien_sale

    It's awesome