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That super-bad-dude, Mysterio, looks through his fishbowl at REINDEER GAMES with surprisingly little distortion...
Alright muffins, let's have a dose of straight talk. Mysterio down below is as shifty as smoke, but I love him. He's always been a two-bit cannon, you know the type they'll pull out of the gutter stinking of spider webs and broken shards of plexiglass. But like a nice starched linen hankie that's passed around the room then put in the wash... no matter how dirty he gets, he comes out clean with a clear slate to blow in next time. Here's Mysterio...
Last night was a good night for a little mayhem Harry. You see, with that web-slinger Spider-Man out making his movie deals and such, it allows us super-villians such as myself, opportunities.
With that I took advantage the other evening, and through some owed back debts, collected on one such. It wasn’t much, but hey, I was only up for a little mayhem, not a lot. That time will come soon enough.
So, out I went and worked my deceptive ways into a screening of “REINDEER GAMES”.
“HO, HO, NO!”
This film tries to be more clever than it actually is. You see America’s newest sweetheart, Ben Affleck plays an ex-con named RUDY DUNCAN, whose just being released from prison on grand theft charges. He and his cell-mate, NICK were to be released on the same day, but Nick ran into a little trouble in the pen the day before, and well, was unable, we’ll say, to see his day come.
But during their time spent in the joint, Nick confided in Rudy of a pen-pal romance with ASHLEY (Charlize Theron). Shows him her pictures, reads him her letters, and so naturally with Ben in the pen for so long and Charlize waiting in the wings, a guy does what a guy needs to do. He pretends he’s Nick to score a little action. And hey, why not. Having never seen a picture of him, and Rudy having read the letters, Ashley’s in his arms and in a bed faster than a fox in a henhouse.
But unfortunately life’s not all peachy keen, as their little lovefest is soon broken up by a band of criminals led by GABRIEL (Gary Sinese). Gary's really got the look down here as a lean, mean, “don’t fuck-with-me” machine baddie.
In your classic case of mistaken identity, Gabriel leads Rudy (as Nick) into believing that he’s been banging his sister (damn, I hate when this happens), and he’s a’mighty pissed about that. But hey, he might be willing to overlook it, if he’ll help them robbed a nearby Indian casino called “The Tomahawk”. After all Nick should come in handy, as he’s told Ashley in his letters of having worked there prior to his sentencing just two years ago.
Not only does he know the layout, but more importantly knows of the “Pow-wow” safe hidden away in the casino manager’s (Dennis Farina) office containing skimmings from the casino. Approximently $5 million total holed up inside the casino from Rudy’s guess.
As Rudy gets an introductory beating, he tries to declare that he’s not really Nick, but his cell-mate. In saying that Gabriel decides if he’s telling the truth, they don’t need him, so they’ll just off him. Fearing for his life, Rudy takes back his story and plays along, all the time looking for a way out, only to find himself getting in way too deep in a web of danger and deceit.
From here the film uses such contrived plot devices and clichés, adding multiple twists and turns trying to be much too clever that it soon wears itself out. It’s as if writer Ehren (“Arlington Road”, “Scream 3”) Kruger is thinking “gee this would be really cool if this happened to him, then this, then that…” (Yeah, and maybe hit him over the head with a frying pan while you’re at it to.) It ultimately becomes too cartoonish and slapsticky at times where it shouldn’t be for a movie being marketed as a suspense thriller.
Not too mention the ending where Kruger must’ve been watching “Reservoir Dogs” when he wrote it. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen another Mexican standoff and botched robbery attempt, with an ending so outrageously moronic it’ll have you moaning and shouting at the screen from your seat.
And now on to the acting…
“I’ll have that hamburger with EXTRA CHEESE please!”
There is really some wasted talent here sad to say. First let’s get poor Ben out of the way. I like the guy, I really do. But he’s too damn likable for this role. Like the character, Trent from “SWINGERS” says to his buddy Mike, “I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie that everyone’s pulling for. I want you to be the guy in the rated R movie who you’re not sure if you like yet.” Exactly what Affleck’s character should’ve been. Hell, it’s even an R-rated movie to boot. In a film such as this of whose conning who, Rudy should’ve been more keen and dangerous of a character, than that of an ex-con who wishes for nothing more coming out of prison than for a cup of hot chocolate and warm pecan pie. Awww, shucks, that’s sooo sweet it’s almost sickening. C’mon jail time should harden this guy up, but he’s such a softie, that looking as clean and nicely cut as Affleck is, he would’ve at least been somebody’s bitch in the prison and show a little wear and tear to say the least. But those tattoos on his arms make up for it. And also, every time Ben cracks a smile, it’s too just way too apple pie.
Now Charlize on the other hand… well, aside from showing her breasts, there really isn’t much good acting here. Her character is supposed to be multi-layered here, but it seems like she’s sleepwalking through this role and her shifts in character seem false and forced.
Gary Sinese on the other hand, well he plays bad guy a little too over-the-top here. If he meant to play it this way for comedic effect, it worked. I never really felt threatened by his character, but would always chuckle at how his character interacted with the other characters. His look and line deliveries we’re a bit too over-accentuated and seemed more fitted for a Coen Brothers flick than in this one.
Dennis Farina, not much of a part for him to really do anything with, but he deserves better.
And so do we. These types of thrillers seem more worn and contrived with each one released. Especially with these surprise twist endings of late. God, if it worked for “The Sixth Sense” let’s exploit the hell of it. I’m sure “Scream 3” will do a fine job of that. Thankfully it’s the final one in the series. Hollywood, take note. Hopefully these actors will fare much better with future material.
Now if Sony and Raimi would re-consider the casting of the super-villian for “Spider-Man”. Tossing out that Koepp draft is a good start, as I never really saw Spidey swingin’ for that one anyways. But c’mon, guys I’m available for a least cameo.
Hint: Maybe consider introducing me towards the end of the film, and setting my character up for the lead villain in the inevitable sequel.
Now that, would be ideal casting indeed.
-Mysterio
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What, do Nick and Rudy turn out to be the same person?
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Feb 03, 2000 9:47:49 AM CST
At least this is a bit more thoughtful than "Lil White Girl"
by funny ha ha
Thanks Harry -this is the kind of diologue-inspiring post that is worth reading, not that crap from yesterday afternoon. As I said in that talkback, I'll wait until I see it to comment on the film itself. But I'll defend most of his prior films on the same grounds as yesterday if necessary.
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Feb 03, 2000 10:48:10 AM CST
darthpsychotic:I just saw that MOVIE of the 90's EPISODE 001 for
by darthpsychotic
i could see charlize theron's breasts everday if i want. You see i have OVER 2 GIGABYTES of celebrity and playmate mpeg and movie clips. i got them from hacking into several 'adult' sites. I am in the process of setting up a popup window free, banner free, classy website, where fanboyz(and fangirls) like us can go get are daily dose of softcore . there is nothing like waking up to a good heaping bowl of softcore. I WILL ALSO MAKE THE REALPLAYER STARWARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL AVAILABLE THERE TOO, as a special treat for the darthpsychotic groupies. At my future website heavyMetal Mp3's will be available along with my favorite bombmaking recipes. This webArea would OUR own VERISION OF silent bob and jay's secret stash. byTheWay, I HAVE SERVED TIME BEFORE AND WILL PROBABLY SERVE TIME AGAIN and to make the THIS reindeer movie believable, MATT DAMON should have been cast as BEN AFFLECK's prisonmate since from what i hear MATT DAMON & BEN AFFLECK are 'together'. I will make my website available as soon as it is finished and make it's URL availabe at the AICN BOARD, till then, like jon gotti says STAY STRONG harry knowles.
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I don't care how good the movie is, all I'm looking forward to is Jerry Goldsmith's kick-ass score.
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Fred, hate to bust your bubble there, but the music's by Alan ("Back to the Future", "The Abyss") Silvestri. -Mysterio
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Yah know, I for one actually agreed with what that Lil White Girl had to say, but ya know, it didn't really need to be an article. For one, she elaborate too much on her views. She was probably feeling, "What's wrong with you Ben Affleck?" rather than "Here's what's wrong with you Ben Affleck".
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Feb 03, 2000 11:56:37 PM CST
Is it just me, or is Harry making less and less sense as time go
by snifflesq
Just a thought.....
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I'm just a flat out liar, huh? Well load that syringe up with Pentathol and put me in the interrogation room. I hate to tell you pal, but you're in the minority here as to Ben's thespian stretch in Bay's masterpiece--of shit. That reminds me: in the other Reindeer Games Talkback, someone said something in defense of Ben Affleck like "Hey, he was the best thing in Forces of Nature!" That's kind of like saying Sir John Gielgud was the best thing in Caligula. Small pond, man. Not exactly high praise. FLUSH IT ALL DOWN.
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...But Theron is hot in this. Plus I actually think her performance was pretty damn good(sorry, Mysterio) too. Yeah, the movie is more comic book than serious suspense yarn but it's still fun to watch and makes a decent matinee visit. There are a lot of funny one liners. I agree that it tries too hard to be tricky but at least there is an attempt at surprise. I just wished it ended 10 minutes earlier. It does steal the thunder a bit from a Ocean 11 remake with its casino heist. Instead of cool, rat packers we get white trash making the heist.
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If an actor is just going to sleep walk, then: 1) they should at least build up some "fan" loyalty (though I hate that word) before they make a run at it; 2) Be interesting just "to watch" (e.g., Harrison Ford, whom I feel has been sleepwalking for at least a couple years now. 3) At least choose interesting material, so the audience won't be left with nothing but to watch you snooze. "Poor Ben," IMHO, seems to have neither of those factors going for him. I would *really* like to like the guy, but he just makes it so damn hard for me. Basically, he shows up, and utters lines as Ben, regardless of what character he's playing, in scripts that present no challenges other than the fact that they are not often well-written. Contrast, of course, to Damon. The "final" straw for me with Ben was when he looked liked - in Forces of Nature -- that he would rather eat a bad-tasting ham sandwich than do Sandy. I do happen to agree with lil white girl -- or whatever her name is -- that if Ben is not going to be able to save him from himself, then he needs to hire people who will. He can only throw away so much audience good will before it's simply not going to be there for him at all. www.themachineisdead.com
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