Ain't It Cool News (www.aintitcool.com)
Review

Harry loves Craig Brewer's Remake of FOOTLOOSE!

I've seen a lot of remakes this year.  Last night, I saw a rancid piece of bullshit called STRAW DOGS, that is basically STRAW DOGS in an utterly retarded South with prettier folks than in the original - but is utter fucking bullshit.   I hate it.   

There's a remake coming, that I can't even hint at that I loathe at a level of complete rage.   

Both of these two films are made by people that fundementally didn't understand the material, the casting requirements or the original source material in any way, shape or form!   However, that's definitely not the case with FOOTLOOSE by Craig Brewer.

From the opening sequence, Craig goes somewhere that the original did not go...  He shows us the original town trauma.   How it happened, what it took from the community.   This creates the hard nosed reality that small towns have to deal with.   How do we protect our kids?  This whole country went through that when 9/11 was broadcast and seared into our consciousness.  How do we protect ourselves?   Well, usually...  those in charge grotesquely overreact.   Instead of accepting that we will have tragedy in our lives, and that that's ok.   WE DON'T HAVE TO REACT, we can simply take the hit and keep on living, honoring the memory of the fallen and move forward as a country or community.   But at the heart of FOOTLOOSE - this opening scene gives us everything.

Dennis Quaid's Preacherman is a different animal from John Lithgow - who was frankly a little scary to me as a kid.   Lithgow truly invokes GOD and is acting from a personal directive from God.   Quaid is an open wound.  He's festering and bleeding.   It has made him intolerant of his daughter, and the happiness has gone from his life.

His daughter is "Hot to Trot" as we would say back in Seymour, Tx where I went to High School...  You know the girl.   She's got an itch that every boy would like to scratch, and she's used to turning her attention and getting what she wants.   Some of this is out of a desire to get her father to actually engage.  To see her and not the ghost of her dead brother.

Then you have REN hitting town.   He's not Kevin Bacon.  Unlike in the original, they take away his mother, giving Ren a very bitter back story.   This is a boy matured.   He's had to go through something that no High School kid should ever have to go through, which is a slow lingering death of a parent.   It gives this Ren a soul and a deep-seeded anger that's more than just a town not letting him dance.   Ren's life isn't fucking fair.  Everyone blames him, thinks he's a shitty town bad boy, but not getting to dance or play music loud...  that's the straw he won't allow to break his back.   Kenny Wormald is new to the screen really.   He's gonna make folks swoon.  Not only has Craig coaxed a great performance out of this kid, but folks...  HE CAN DANCE!   Watch his Angry Dance?   Watch his dance with his best mate, Willard - played to utter fucking perfection by Miles Teller, who you may remember from his excellent work in last year's RABBIT HOLE.   

If I were running Paramount, I'd sign Kenny and Miles to a long contract, and then team them up for a series of Musical/Dramedies - their charisma together is just exciting and fun to watch.  They play off of one another in a way that echoes some classic musical buddy comedy could.   In fact - there's a tad of Gene Kelly and Jules Munshin from ON THE TOWN going on between these two - and that fucking owns!

Craig doesn't crank out dispassionate work, he crafts films that give a shit.  It is so relieving to see...  Someone coming to previously told material, but with a geniune desire to update and make it live as vibrantly if not more so than the original.

FOOTLOOSE gets put on by community theater and High Schools across the country.   The story has fallen into the lexicon of HIGH SCHOOL language.   It is perfect material for retelling, and I found myself wishing that Mickey Rooney, Judy Garland and the Bowery Boys had done this in the late 30s...  cuz I'd kill to see Mickey's take on Ren!  Though, watching GIRL CRAZY, it doesn't take much to imagine.  

Craig uses some of the music we know from the original, but he'll use it in a completely different and surprising manner.   This is a remake worth checking out, it really makes you wanna dance!

Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus
    + Expand All
  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:37 p.m. CST

    first

    by bennie garcia

    first first

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:38 p.m. CST

    cut foot loose

    by nobodycallsmcflyachicken

    plse help

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Harry Loves a Craig Brewer

    by Series7

    Awww no way!! Cool!

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:46 p.m. CST

    Harry Loves Footloose Go Figure...

    by RpgSama

    Yeah, of course he loves the movie from his pal Craig, he loves it so much that he couldn't write the pre-pubescent dreams of yore that he actually writes when there is something he loves, you know those ones, the ones that he starts to tell stories from his family watching movies and how this movie reminds him of that, and of course, like 4 pages of saying that everything "rocked"...

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:46 p.m. CST

    I'm impressed, Harry

    by coz

    That was well-written and you didn't gush like a little girl once. Nice job. But now I'm curious what the remake that shall not speak its name is.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:46 p.m. CST

    What's the other remake that you hated Harry?

    by Hudson Cock

    Hated Straw Dogs (remake) too. It was crap. A little hint? Obscure references welcome.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:46 p.m. CST

    Give me a fucking break Harold

    by Mattman

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Harold Throckmorton Knowles IV

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    Jesus ...

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Surprising, because that trailer made me sick...

    by sonnyfern

    It looked like another Step UP, or just another terrible dance movie.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:51 p.m. CST

    the other remake is the thing.

    by frankenfickle

    come on. duh.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:52 p.m. CST

    the music's also remade

    by Eric Dyer

    Blake Shelton singing "Footloose"? Blech. The soundtrack is just pure laziness. If this had some original music I might just be onboard with this. I saw the original the very first night in theaters. I don't think this could ever top the original.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:52 p.m. CST

    Plant

    by NeoMyers

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 4:56 p.m. CST

    Harry loves a movie his friend made! SHOCK!

    by D.Vader

    Stop the presses!

  • Sounds like a good movie to me. H- "but is utter fucking bullshit." Meaning... what exactly? Sounds like the kind of criticism Asi would throw out there without anything to explain it or back it up.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5 p.m. CST

    Oh, fuck OFF Harry.

    by TommyGavinsEgo

    Like we ever believe a word Harry says in a review anyway, but really. I ain't gonna rant. But everything Harry puts out as a "positive" in this review just stinks of the usual failings of remakes. I should qualify this statement, but I absolutelyl can't be bothered. I've wasted far too much bandwidth and keystrokes on such things, and most of it goes without saying. Jesus FUCKING Christ Harry - buy yourself a barometer of taste.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5 p.m. CST

    Harry hates the Point Break remake. Gotta be it.

    by Cheif Brody

    better not be fuckin JAWS....that's all I can say.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Harry's Attack of the CLones Review

    by WerePlatypus

    Never forget. . .

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:06 p.m. CST

    FOOTLOOSE as a cheap 9/11 metaphor.

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    But with DANCIN'! What defukk ...

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:08 p.m. CST

    I saw Straw Dogs last night too...

    by 2dope

    Now, I haven't seen the original, and Harry is certainly entitled to his opinion, but I thought it was pretty good.

  • Whoa. Wow.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:16 p.m. CST

    It's a horror remake.

    by Lenny Nero

    Please don't deleted this comment. I am under no embargo.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:17 p.m. CST

    As in, the "other remake" that he loathed.

    by Lenny Nero

    Blurgh.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Yep. Point Break remake = Harry's hate...

    by Imagikafan

    Back on topic... I didn't like the original Footloose, so I might like this new version better.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:36 p.m. CST

    I got kicked out of my house when I was 19 for

    by sweeneydave

    going to my girlfriend's prom. Dancing was a big SIN in my parents house, and even worse was the embarrasment of having the SON of the pastor publicly going to a dance. This was 1998 and I've mended those wounds since then. It was a good experience for me too. I moved out. Went half way across the country. Learned what God meant to me personally instead of the wacky rules the church dicatates to keep everyone in line. And fell in love with movies (which I was also forbidden from) along the way.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:37 p.m. CST

    Damn, sweeneydave.

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    Glad you made it to the other side.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Wow SweeneyDave

    by D.Vader

    I remember reading another story of yours about movies being forbidden and how you didn't see a lot of great classic films until later in life. Very interesting story. Like the Choppah, I'm glad you made it to the other side.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:48 p.m. CST

    sweeneydave

    by TommyGavinsEgo

    Wow. If that's all true - then good for you, friend. I'm sure that took a lot of nerve. I hope you realise you're in a far better where you can get into whatever you want and make your own choices. A badly-expressed ramble I know, but I find it hard (as an Englishman) to think that people in 21st century America can live in a place where movies and dancing aren't allowed. Wow.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Never too early for Fudgepack Friday!

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    Since it's already Friday in Asia, why not get it going now? Today's contestant: Christina Hendricks. Is her pillowy ass open for business?

  • Shark rape? Did dancing lead to shark rape?

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 6 p.m. CST

    Was hoping for a full review on STRAW DOGS

    by Candice

    Kept reading your tweets about how horrible it was. I was ready for the full diatribe! Harry, you're too nice. =)

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 6:06 p.m. CST

    Thanks guys.

    by sweeneydave

    These days I get a lot of flack from LOUD people. Meaning, those folks that think their way is right on both sides. (You're going to Hell for not following the rules) or (You're retarded for believing in God). Whatev. Free will is the first gift given to us, and I believe God WANTS us to use it. When he's old enough, I'm going to teach my son how to make a fire. That's a great gift. But it's up to him how he uses it. It could save his life if he's lost in the wilderness. Or he could end up being a serial arsonist. Either way, it's a gift that I won't regret giving and certainly can't take back. Anyways, we're here for the movies. Enough of my preaching. (Curse my parentage!)

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 6:10 p.m. CST

    Wow, CTM, that's bizarre

    by D.Vader

    Its almost like Don Murphy has discovered he has cancer and now that his days are numbered, he realizes the only real connection he's ever had in his life has been with his arch-nemesis on AICN. Or, there's your theory. Either way, the timing is strange. Why now? Like you said, you guys haven't flamed each other in quite awhile. It seems out of the blue. Obviously he remembers you, but why bother trying to contact you? But funny how he wants to meet and offers you whatever you want to do it... but prefaces the conversation by insulting you and calling you a coward. Well he can rest easy knowing I enjoyed TF: Dark of the Moon. But he'll forever be haunted by what the real CTM looks like in person.

  • AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 6:18 p.m. CST

    Harry's other hated remake may be "The Three Musketeers"

    by melonman

    The big guy isn't going to pass up the chance to take another shit in PWS Anderson's mouth, even if it was Oscar-worthy. Personally I think that the Muskehounds looks so bad it may actually break through and join Anaconda (among others) in the ranks of beautiful retarded shit classics. I'm a connoisseur.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 6:30 p.m. CST

    The last movie Harry reviewed was Conan...

    by Doug Phillips

    and he follows it up with Footloose? Me thinks Harry has lost his marbles if he thinks that most of the people that regularly visit this site are going to be at all concerned with Footloose. I would guess most people would just assume it will be a turd...regardless of what ol' Harold thinks.

  • For liking this movie.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 6:51 p.m. CST

    CTM, he wants to meet you because....

    by Bobo_Vision

    ....like you mentioned, he wants to brow beat you and humiliate you, because having lots of money may satisfy his craving for pleasure, but now he wants to satisfy his need for revenge, and to feel big. He will be wearing a watch which he'll tell you is worth more than you will earn in the next 20 years, and then he will berate you in a manner that is sociopathic, while his bodyguards stand behind him should you decide to retaliate. If his craving isn't satisfied after this meeting, he will have his bodyguards follow you home and beat you to death. Your body will be neatly dropped off a building and a makeshift suicide note will be left in your apartment.

  • If I'm not mistaken, that was the same reason he loved Brad Pitt's performance in Snatch. <p> The healing power of movies does its work, one film at a time.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 6:55 p.m. CST

    This deserved a review more than Planet of the Apes?

    by tomandshell

    Hmm.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 7:17 p.m. CST

    So the town gets healed through the power of DANCE?

    by MaxCalifornia.

    Can't wait. To see something else.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 7:25 p.m. CST

    So in this version . . .

    by Nice Marmot

    . . . does it explain how and when the kids learned to dance?

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 7:25 p.m. CST

    Straw Dogs is getting okay reviews elsewhere...

    by BlaGyver

    And since Harry's opinion means fuck-all these days...

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 7:25 p.m. CST

    I redact the headline of my last post....

    by BlaGyver

    It was sitting at 55% on RT when I checked last.

  • ....the girls will start dating black guys after listening to that "jungle" music, and may even date those ornery brown guys, the ones who looks like those who committed 9/11, causing them to shift away from Christian values, towards something Eastern, or even become an atheist or agnostic. <p> That's the true fear of conservative white parents.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 7:33 p.m. CST

    Wow, the content of this site is woefully inconsistent...

    by SoylentMean

    We get a review for this but we can't get the DVD reviews for the week? WTF?

  • That's some hilarious shit. How in the world can you possibly resist meeting with Murphy or his impersonator? This is like a real mystery 'n shit. Oh, and did I mention - fuck Footloose?

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 7:44 p.m. CST

    When the teens in my church had our dance revolt

    by sweeneydave

    our choice song was The Safety Dance. We thought we were rad.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 7:49 p.m. CST

    Footloose? Really? Really?!

    by Royston Lodge

    Colour me surprised.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 7:58 p.m. CST

    This is the first review of Harry's I've read in a long time...

    by Denty420

    ... that looks like he typed it with both hands.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 7:58 p.m. CST

    Sweeneydave

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    No Stryper?

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 8:02 p.m. CST

    The remake Harry hates ...

    by verbalintercourse

    Is the Thing. That sucks.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 8:07 p.m. CST

    Even though it's a prequel

    by verbalintercourse

    But looking forward to the 3Musk review.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 8:11 p.m. CST

    Footloose is great. Twilight movies are awesome. Cap was perfect.

    by Quake II

    Welcome to Aint it teen news. I'll never see this film and I doubt 90% of your readers will either. I HOPE that other remake Harry said he hated wasn't The Thing. I want that movie to be at least watchable.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 9 p.m. CST

    I forgot what happened to the town

    by CherryValance

    The brother died from dancing? Anyhoo, this sounds more seriouser. I don't think it necessarily works when it gets seriouser. The Fame remake didn't do well, maybe for that reason, but I liked it. But the original Footloose was really all about the soundtrack. How was this one? Now I've got "I'm Free (Heaven Helps the Man)" stuck in my head and I'm imagining Mickey Rooney dancing to it. LOL

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 9:13 p.m. CST

    WOW!

    by Jak0lantern01

    That review was so.....boy crush. Harry, Harry, Harry.........

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Are you fucking kidding me? Footloose?

    by Victor

    Get the fuck outta here. What shit. Come on Harry, how low will sink?

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 9:35 p.m. CST

    I never saw Footloose

    by BBSloth

    except the iconic freeway scene

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 9:45 p.m. CST

    The Thing is not a remake

    by AlexDK

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 9:47 p.m. CST

    Well, guess I have to go see Straw Dogs now

    by proevad

    and I don't care about either Footlooses or is Feetloose?

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 9:52 p.m. CST

    Never mind. Harry might be right. 35 percent on Rotten Tomatoes

    by proevad

    Roger Ebert loved it, but Rog is due for one of his infamous "oops" reviews.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 10:08 p.m. CST

    Highlander, The Thing, Point Break

    by kdoc13

    If you could make Point Break less of a joke (see Hot Fuzz, no seriously, see that movie, it's much better than Point Break), I'd be up for a remake. But there's no reason to ever remake Highlander or The Thing. You can't improve on them.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 10:13 p.m. CST

    RE: nice marmot

    by kdoc13

    That was something I always wondered about in the original. I remember looking at people and asking "When did they learn to dance?" I was shoved onto a dance floor in 8th grade P.E. and given music to dance to, and my entire class looked like a bunch of Autistic kids with wooden legs and hearing problems. It was horrible and thanks to my school, forever preserved on VHS. I guess they could make them all not know how to dance and let them flail around in the final scene like they were having a group siezure. The final scene could be our high school rebel telling the preacher "No, they're just crunkin!" Cut to credits.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 10:13 p.m. CST

    As funny as the CTM saga is, how has this not been picked up on?

    by Monkey Butler

    "sexual death star"? So you get halfway built and then explode?

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 10:29 p.m. CST

    LET'S HEAR lT FOR THE BOYS

    by Tigger Tales

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 10:32 p.m. CST

    WTH!

    by crazykrug72

    WTH! Harry, you got time to watch a fag dance movie, but not do the new video releases for the week! WHAT THE FUCK ASSHOLE1

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 10:58 p.m. CST

    The Thing is a remake

    by kevred

    Just because the pathetic losers behind it claim it's a prequel doesn't mean we have to take them seriously.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 11:06 p.m. CST

    Dancing

    by Darlene Jones

    I can't wait to see it now!! Thanks!

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 11:06 p.m. CST

    Fuck footloose. Bruce Cambell tweeted a bunch of Evil Dead remake stuff.

    by Doktor_Avalanche

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 11:14 p.m. CST

    Is Sammy Haggar on the soundtrack?

    by TedTwist

    This movie is a steaming pile of maggot infested dog shit that was puked up, eaten by a rabid raccoon and then shit out again. Thus making it a steamier pile of dead maggot-encrusted, rabid raccoon shit. Dear Paramount, feel free to use that on any and all promotional material for the movie. Thanks, Ted

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 11:20 p.m. CST

    Once again it pays to be 'a friend of the site'...

    by Stegman84

    Because if you are an official Friend of AICN (tm) apparently your shit will never, ever stink, no matter how rancid, and you can get mega praise for doing the exact kind of thing that other film makers get consistently raked over the coals around here for. Make a bad film? Doesn't matter, if you are a Friend of AICN it'll get praised around here anyway. Pointless and/or horrible remake? There's no such thing if you're an official Friend of AICN! Crappy, hackneyed sequel that is every bit as bad as every other derided sequel to a once popular franchise? Worry no more if you are a Friend of AICN, as your crappy sequel will instantly become 'the only sequel that got it right'! All you have to do to become an official Friend of AICN is to suck up to Harry, make personal contact while pretending to value his opinion as a 'film guru', or send him pwesents, or both! Preferably both. Having a meal with him, or making him special guest at a screening goes a long way too. Can't be arsed doing that, but still want unwarranted praise for your upcoming crappy flick? Then simply follow these easy steps - grant an AICN an all expenses paid set visit, grant AICN 'exclusive' interviews with cast members and/or director (note: exclusive access doesn't actually have to be in any way exclusive), and finally set up a special screening just for AICN (note: special screening doesn't have to be just for AICN, just give them enough seats to give away so they can pretend that it is). This will get you at least three staff reviews full of fawning praise, plus one lukewarm one to give the illusion of 'balance'. A pwesent thrown Harry's way will get you extra coverage and hype leading up to release as well, maybe even a 'that other movie coming out this week really sucks' swipe or two as well. A tiny price to pay for when you want to maintain some dignity and don't actually have to pretend to be Harry's extra special bestest buddy.

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 11:36 p.m. CST

    Harry your a piece of shit !!!!!!!!

    by Batmangelo

    Not only did you actually like this movie but you compared it to 9/11 !!!!!!!!! Really????????!!!!!??? you fat bastard you compared a couple of kids dying(in a movie of course) and a town outlawing dancing to the most tragic thing to happen to our country since pearl harbor ? Really Harry maybe when u had the fat sucked out of your ass they mistakenly took some of your brain too cus that's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. This website keeps getting worse and worse.........sigh

  • Sept. 15, 2011, 11:55 p.m. CST

    Harry's rage is probably about THE EVIL DEAD remake

    by Player01

    Seriously, a remake of the EVIL DEAD, written by Diablo FUCKING Cody? I'm pretty fucking pissed off too. WTF Hollywood, WTFF.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 12:06 a.m. CST

    An 80's story...

    by mdk

    ...went to the original Footloose when I was in high school with my best bud and his older sis, who looked like in-her-prime Kelly McGillis. (An aside: As I said on another thread, she did too have a "prime", it just only lasted a few minutes, but she was mega-hot for those few minutes. Oh, also, I was banging my pal's sis too, but he didn't know that at the time... but that's another story. Geez, this is getting to be like a crappy opening scroll in a Family Guy Star Wars parody.) So, on with the story, we all went to see Footloose in NYC and we all got ripped on J.D., Budweisers and weed beforehand. So the movie is going along and through the fog of cheap bourbon, beer and crib-weed, I remember a scene where a mom character was advising, what, Lori Petty(?), whoever, to "Wake up and smell the coffee." Later Kevin Bacon goes to pick up the same chick to take her to the illegal prom, or whatever-the-fuck (long time ago, never seen the flick again and also, we were all quite ripped). Bacon looks at her in her extremely silly 80's prom dress and says, "You look beautiful!" At this point, my friend, who had a damn loud-ass voice, shouts out, of course, "Wake up and smell the fuckin' coffee!" And brought the entire theater down in uproarious laughter. I can remember nothing else about the movie from that point except something about dancing cowboys and girls in prom dresses and cowboy boots dancing on chairs. Never saw the movie again, never wanted to ruin a perfect 80's memory. Sorry again. Same lame-ass excuse... it's quite late. Oh and Harry, you're just too lame for words sometimes, ya overly-sentimental lug. Like I'm going to go see some shitty remake starring that chick from the pimple cream ads.

  • Have IQ's dropped sharply while I was away?

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 12:53 a.m. CST

    Kevin Bacon should do a cameo as Sebastian Shaw.

    by Quake II

    And come into the barn during their redneck prom (after absorbing some energy) and stomp his foot on the ground, obliterating the entire cast of characters. I would see THAT version of Footloose multiple times. What's funny is that these remakes die on the dvd shelf and the originals always remain the versions that live on forever.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 1:36 a.m. CST

    Quake ii....

    by LLL

    "Remakes always die on the shelf while originals live on" True almost always. I can think of a few exceptions, though. Carpenter's "The Thing" remake is arguably more famous than the original. Also, the Cape Fear maybe too.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 1:56 a.m. CST

    That's it- I'm done with this site

    by melwing

    I only come here out of habit anymore, and every time I do I either just see Sideshow Collectibles ads (yes, they're cool. STFU though) and 'breaking news' that is hours (if not days) behind the other sites. Ugly formatting, bad editing, product placement, and now a positive review of a Footloose remake?

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 2:32 a.m. CST

    This is the remake of Footloose I want to see...

    by Captain Dobie

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSWh-I9rM-4 Genius!

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 3:51 a.m. CST

    Strangely - you didn't review Rise of the Apes!

    by StoryFirst

    No review - no comment - is it cos the film makers didn't give you a goody bag...? Are the rumours of corruption true?

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 4:06 a.m. CST

    Im going with Total Recall

    by ajt2111

    The remake so far looks to shit on everything the original did, while the Thing simply looks to copy it, though my second guess is the Thing.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 4:43 a.m. CST

    go see warrior harry now, man up dude

    by captaindickbloodsrobot

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 4:44 a.m. CST

    beacuse ur friends with the filmmaker doesnt make this review right, the movie sucks

    by captaindickbloodsrobot

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 5:12 a.m. CST

    Harry's wrong.

    by Lemure_v2

    Going and actually showing the court case doesn't work. In the original it was already done and thus the film was moving. Here, showing it lets the audience actually be there and see when they create the stupid law. And it is stupid: teenagers are killed after drink/dance, so they ban dancing? Stupid and not believable. They got away with it in the first film by having it already in place and moving on. It's a bit like Children of the Corn. The "rules" are already in place when the audience arrive so they go along with it. Yes, I'm aware I could have picked a better example... And watching the trailer, this is TOO similiar to the original. Just watch that one.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 5:23 a.m. CST

    Did I Miss The "Harry's Gone Mad" Headline?

    by wampa_one

    For serious.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 5:34 a.m. CST

    Re: Rise Review

    by SminkyPinky

    Rise of the Planet of the Apes is one of the best reviewed films of the summer. I have a hard time believeing Harry didn't like it. Who cares anyway? Go and make up your own minds. You whining arseholes seem to spend too much time attacking people whose views you seem to want to hear. Idiots.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 5:35 a.m. CST

    captaindickbloodsrobot

    by SminkyPinky

    While it's unlikely I'll see the film myself as it's just not my cup of tea, have you seen it? Do you know for sure it sucks? I bet you've not even watched the trailer. Stop crying and go and do something more constructive, you bunch of spineless pussies.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 6:10 a.m. CST

    We don't have to react....

    by vondamage

    Take it like a bitch hippie

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 6:38 a.m. CST

    The original is NOT a good movie...

    by ZodNotGod

    Fun, catchy music...but NOT good. Those kids at the end dance like freakin Berishnikov! The preacher villain has no pay-off. He spouts crap and then thats it! Always wondered what happend to Lori Singer. Looking forward to this. How can anyone not enjoy people singing and dancing?

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 6:43 a.m. CST

    A town about 15 miles down the road banned dancing...

    by ZodNotGod

    No proms, no formals, nothing...It could have inspired the original as that happened in the early 80's or so the rumor goes. It's a tiny craphole town and became the laughing stock of the area. For me, I never understood going to a school sanctioned dance, supervised by teachers, spend a ton of money on the clothes, drink nasty drinks, spend a few hours stepping on each other's feet. NOT my idea of fun. Unless your getting laid, but then why do u have to waste time at a freakin dance for that?

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 6:46 a.m. CST

    Point Break was fine, if they had only...

    by ZodNotGod

    Switched roles to Keanue as the Surf robber and Swayze as Johnny Utah. Mixing it up was perhaps the point, but still it would have seemed less gimmicky since Keanue was barely 17 at the time, or so he looked.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 7:02 a.m. CST

    Michael Moore

    by vondamage

    Film Critic

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 7:12 a.m. CST

    Wait....What?...Did I just read that correctly....

    by Raindog789

    Did Harry just compare 9/11 to Footloose? Eat a dick!

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 7:47 a.m. CST

    The remake he can't even hint at...

    by Sci-FiJunky

    ... has to be Red Dawn. From everything I have read about it, they should take any and all footage filmed so far, burn it, pretend it never happened.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 8:20 a.m. CST

    What a bunch of fucking babies.

    by gotilk

    just shut up

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 8:31 a.m. CST

    Wow!!

    by niccageshairpiece

    I have been coming here for a long time. I dont post much cause I just can"t argue and piss and moan all day about movies. But this review has shattered and utterly destroyed everything I loved about this site. I puked my coffee all over my desk. It's like Harry just reviews Friends Movies or Movies that give him Swag!! Sad really cause I used to tell people about how great this site was. Was!!

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Fat Harry what the fuck happened to you?

    by Victor

    Did you finally go crazy from eating all those honey dipped fried chickens for breakfast? I mean Footloose? You're a coward and a fraud Harry.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Not only bad taste

    by Laserhead

    But the inability to COMMUNICATE that bad tasted using coherent sentences.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 9:49 a.m. CST

    They should call the sequel FeetLoose

    by XxSoulFlyxX

    I don't know why it just came to me in a dream.

  • This level of complete rage you're feeling; is it more than just the kind of "deep-seeded"* anger you feel when a town doesn't let you dance? *Deep-seated, for future reference.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 11:03 a.m. CST

    So the check cleared?

    by Mugato5150

  • You have no fucking excuse now. The Footloose remake? Really?!? And comparing it to 9/11? Can you possibly sink any lower? Fucking retarded!

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 12:09 p.m. CST

    choppah

    by sweeneydave

    I can't believe you brought up Stryper. That was actually before my time. My parents didn't really like music either. Even "Christian" rock was the devil's music. I got my kicks by recording songs from TV and video games on my little tape recorder. It wasn't until I was about 14 when my older sisters finally introduced me to actual music. For some reason, my parents did allow me to listen to lots of Weird Al. They thought he was "sticking it" to all those secular artists. As a result, when I got older and heard the "actual" songs he was parodying, I would burst into laughter with my friends staring at me like I was nuts.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Why does the majority of talkbackers use Harrys reviews

    by sweeneydave

    to just bash Harrys reviews. Everyone gets upset when he DOESN'T review a movie, and then flips out when he DOES. And then you all call him crazy for the movies that he choses to review. Why stress about it, when you aren't going to like his reviews anyways? You all say he's changed, but for the 10 years I've been reading this site, he's always been pretty eccentric. We read his reviews for the gush of incomprehensible word passion (good or bad) that he writes to try to capture the FEELINGS he's having at that time (often times making some kind of connection to a childhood event or celebrity meeting). Yeah, it's weird. But he has everyone else to write normal reviews. People need to get over it and quit gumming up my talkbacks with Harry complaints. If you don't care for Footloose or Harry's take on it, DON'T OPEN THE LINK!

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 1:16 p.m. CST

    bad remake=three musketeers

    by SgtSharki

    Seriously, that thing looks like every other piece of shit P.T. Andreson has ever made. Plus, the new The Thing isn't a remake, it's a prequel.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 1:27 p.m. CST

    by spud_mcspud_returns

    "Last night, I saw a rancid piece of bullshit called STRAW DOGS, that is basically STRAW DOGS in an utterly retarded South with prettier folks than in the original - but is utter fucking bullshit. I hate it."<P> And last night you saw a rancid piece of bullshit called FOOTLOOSE, in which a Disneyfied pretty-boy Ren gets to bust a move STEP UP-style with prettier folks than in the original (yet strangely less able to act, possessing zero charisma or the ability to look as if they give a fuck about any of the lines they blankly recite like human-shaped tape recorders), and inexplicably turning into a watered down piece of shit cash-in designed solely to appeal to the next generation of 9 year olds that missed the HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL and GLEE bandwagons, after which this detestable crock of gibbering shit is so obviously chasing.<P> FUCK. THIS. MOVIE. Bacon's Ren would eat this plastic pretender for breakfast.<P> Hary. Hang your head, man. I can't believe you watched this shit...

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 1:29 p.m. CST

    The only thing worse than this movie...

    by spud_mcspud_returns

    ...is the fucking musical version, which could not shit on its own legacy more comprehensibly if George Lucas had written, produced, directed and performed EVERY FUCKING WORD.<P> Whatever Dean Pitchford has been on since the original movie came out, I want some. Because his revisions to that movie make Lucas' tinkering look like the restoration of the Mona Lisa in comparison...

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 1:34 p.m. CST

    FOOTLOOSE (1984) Deleted Scene:

    by spud_mcspud_returns

    Reverend Moore and his wife watch as the teens file slowly into the dance hall. The music is barely audible as the disco lights begin to flash through the window.<P> As he squints, straining to see, the Reverend sees his daughter dancing opposite Ren.<P> REV MOORE: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!<P> Reverend Moore picks up his wife and throws her down the main thermal shaft at the centre of the Death Star throne room. Demoniac winds threaten to claw him down into the pit after her.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 1:41 p.m. CST

    I got a Cockloose,

    by NightArrows

    Fuckmoose, blame all the goddamn Jews. Please, Louise, Pull get your tits offa my knees. Jack, who's black, C'mon and sell me crack. Lose your pubes Everybody cut Cockloose!

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Everybody suck, everybody suck,

    by spud_mcspud_returns

    Everybody suck COCKLOOSE!! :D

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 1:55 p.m. CST

    I fucked up one verse...

    by NightArrows

    Get your tits offa my knees

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 1:56 p.m. CST

    I'm gonna see it...

    by emteem

    ...I enjoy Craig Brewer movies (so far). I don't give a fuck. To be clear though I'm going to see it on DVD. I will not be rushing to the theater for it.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Oh My Gosh!

    by Tera Sanders

    Harry has already seen the Footloose remake? He must be a very special person! Can I have his big, orange, crippled-by-fat autograph?

  • and half of the review is him talking about seeing it, not even what he actually sees. So this is just returning the favor for a kick back. The movie sucked.

  • I'm not going to waste my time with the rest.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 2:26 p.m. CST

    What About Julianne Hough?

    by SutureSelf

    The real attraction of the original "Footloose" was Lori Singer. Without her, 90% of the motivation would disappear. Julianne Hough is playing the daughter in the remake, yet there's not a word about her in the review.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Julianne Hough

    by NightArrows

    Makeup goes a long way with this chick: http://tinyurl.com/3po3xaq

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 3:13 p.m. CST

    I wanna hear more about...

    by Mel Gibsteinberg

    This potential meet up between Creepy Thin Man and Don Murphy. Will that get me banned? I hope not, because that was the most entertaining part of this whole thread until it was deleted. Who knows who these tools are, supposedly Murphy is a producer (wink wink) but that's like believing the dude who wants to give me money to re-patriot is actually a Nigerian Prince. At any rate, this whole meet up has me thinking of the Anchorman fight scene between the Channel 4 News team and all those other wannabes. Hope someone shows up with a cell phone cam!

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Awww, the CTM vs. Don Murphy post was deleted?

    by sweeneydave

    Sad now. That was fascinating stuff.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 5:18 p.m. CST

    The problem for a Footloose remake...

    by Andrew Coleman

    Is they kept the plot together. A town outlaws dancing? Even in the tea party era this seems impossible. Any dipshit who would try this would get destroyed on a national level. I get that we are seeing a rise in conservative fucks trying to make people live the world they want but this plot seems dumb. Frankly if they wanted to make a Footloose remake relevant they should have taken a chance. Make it about a black or Latino kid moving to an over the top white small town. They ban teen "parties" or whatever and the kids get together and dance as a huge "fuck you" to the town. Or something. Instead we get a carbon copy with the same plot that makes no sense now and a lead... Well the dude looks like the devil. Look at the guy. He's not charming looking, he looks like he kills kittens for a hobby. This will be the down fall for the film. Teen girls won't find him cute and won't go... Looking forward to this bombing and then fading off into memory until MTV shows it at 2 am on a tuesday night.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 5:39 p.m. CST

    RED DAWN IS A REMAKE, BET THAT'S THE FILM HARRY HATES

    by jim

    Although the original is not exactly a classic.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 6:07 p.m. CST

    myphdisdoom- As a kid, my church was against dancing.

    by sweeneydave

    If a town is small enough, and the church is the primary focal point of the town, then it's not that implausible of a situation. I was kicked out of my house for going to a high school dance. That was in the late 90s.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 6:29 p.m. CST

    Harry should review Rise of the Planet of the Apes

    by Eyegore

    Seriously, why would he review Footloose before that? WTF Harry? I don't blame the people saying Harry only reviews when he gets a good bribe first, because that's how it appears now.

  • Sept. 16, 2011, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Why is AICN coddling Donny Two-Chins?

    by Chief Joseph

    A completely talentless hack producer that is also a cyber-stalker? And also dumb as a post, with the mental maturity of a 12-year old? You guys should be exposing him for what he is and making it harder for him to leech on to properties/franchises like he did to Transformers.

  • Sept. 17, 2011, 12:02 a.m. CST

    The Evil Dead remake (without Raimi)

    by Roger Moon

    is what has Haroldo raging. Bloody disgusting says Fede Alvarez (Federico Alvarez) is directing the remake. Alvarez is the Uruguayan filmmaker who made the sci-fi short Panic Attack which became a viral sensation on YouTube.

  • Sept. 17, 2011, 12:03 p.m. CST

    The other remake? "Great Gatsby"?

    by ChaunceyGardiner

  • Sept. 17, 2011, 12:06 p.m. CST

    apparently not.

    by ChaunceyGardiner

    Apparently I am off, by a long shot. Sorry. (Now is the moment in which, if I were younger, I would play off the fact that that was a horribly bad guess and pretend that I had made a really witty joke instead.) Alas, the force is not with me.

  • Sept. 17, 2011, 12:14 p.m. CST

    When the teens in my church had our dance revolt...

    by ChaunceyGardiner

    You cannot hear me laugh. But I am. A lot. Thank you. Very much.

  • Sept. 17, 2011, 4:03 p.m. CST

    chauncey

    by sweeneydave

    Yeah, it was like growing up in a bomb shelter. We were pretty ridiculous. Thus, if they really want to make a plausible Footloose film, the kids need to be all sheltered losers who dance like they are having an epileptic seizure. I'm told, I still dance like that...

  • Sept. 17, 2011, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Recently,

    by ChaunceyGardiner

    in a church fellowship hall, I proceeded to groove a little bit too hardily during a Beatles song during a wedding reception. I was told that I was crossing into dangerous waters. The church committee had already met over this matter, and the decision was unanimous. NO DAMN DANCIN'. But you know, "You can dance if you want, just leave your past behind. And if you can't dance..."

  • Sept. 18, 2011, 4:24 a.m. CST

    Aintitplantnews.com

    by Franck

    AICN gets invited on the Footloosen remake. Harry is friend with the director. Although the entire movie looks like a bad copy of the original, scene for scene, song for song and dialog alike, although it's probably an andapted pile of crap that will tank, Harry still gives it a better review than Inception. Pathetic.

  • Sept. 18, 2011, 4:29 a.m. CST

    Harry likes to see his quotes on the movie posters, so

    by Franck

    "it really makes you wanna dance" will definitelty be there somewhere...or in a few weeks on the DVD cover.

  • Sept. 18, 2011, 12:47 p.m. CST

    I fucked a preacher's daughter behind the altar at his church

    by proevad

    Once you've done that, a dance revolt just isn't that interesting.

  • Sept. 18, 2011, 8:28 p.m. CST

    If Harry ran Paramount... (into the ground...)

    by Rob

    I'm reasonably certain studios don't sign young actors to those kinds of contracts anymore. I'm also pretty sure that Gene Kelly and Jules Munshon weren't ever a terribly popular movie musical duo. Sinatra, maybe. Donald O'Conner, Yes! Jules Munshon? It's always fair weather... This hare-brained idea is as bad as his suggestion that Marvel Studios sign Michael "goofy face" Phelps to an exclusive contract to play Prince Namor the Sub-Mariner. All the acting lessons in the world, baby...

  • Sept. 18, 2011, 8:32 p.m. CST

    by Rob

    Actually, the Michael Phelps idea is a pretty good one, if Michael Phelps were a good-looking man, and if he projected any sophistication whatsoever. Actors with a more regal bearing include, in no particular order... Nick Cage Billy Zane Tracy Morgan Leonard Nimoy (c.2006)

  • Sept. 18, 2011, 9:16 p.m. CST

    I gave up seeing this when I saw that chick from

    by chien_sale

    DAncing with the Stars in it. arrggg so boring, so lifeless. what a lightweight. the original girl had fucking gravitas.

  • Geez dude...it's not as if I know anything about Apollo 18 (or like it, as I said I know nothing) but I am a bit surprized that you review the remake of Footloose and ignore Apollo 18, which does seem to be more in line with geekdom in general. Looks like the Geek Cred-o-meter just dropped significantly...

  • Sept. 22, 2011, 5:47 a.m. CST

    If I could go back in time...

    by mrmgp

    ...but had to choose between killing Hitler and perhaps saving tens of millions of lives, or stopping Kenny Loggins from singing "Footloose", I would, without hesitation, stop Kenny Loggins. God fucking DAMN, but that song irritated the motherfucking shit out of me.

  • Sept. 22, 2011, 3:03 p.m. CST

    mrmgp

    by proevad

    Better than Danger Zone from Top Gun. Not much better though, I agree. Kenny Loggins singing anything irritates the shit out of me.

  • Sept. 23, 2011, 3:28 p.m. CST

    The original came out when I was in high school

    by django_il_bastardo

    and the only ones who even saw it were chicks.

  • Jan. 25, 2012, 3:40 p.m. CST

    This movie is retarted.

    by Daniel Caputi

    Nothing more needs to be said for the remainder of human history.