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Harry's DVD PICKS & PEEKS - 1st 2wk of August 2011: CONAN, Spicoli, BBC, NAME OF THE ROSE, BETTER OFF DEAD & much more!

Hey folks, Harry here with the first two weeks of August. Today’s column was just so few that I decided when last week’s was so long, to take my time on them, because there’s so many great titles – and just to a jam up for y’all. As usual the images and links take you to Amazon where you can learn a bit more and possibly purchase an item or two, which always helps keep this column ticking. SO again, profound thanks. You’ve waited long enough – here ya go…

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011


Little over a year ago, they released a fantastic BluRay set called THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN COLLECTION on Blu Ray and it really was fantastic, but if you’re picky with your purchases… a $40 price tag, when the only film in the set you HAVE to have is THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN… because… ya must! Well, here you can have it for $12.99. It looks fantastic. Now let’s say you’re a young un, what has never heard of THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN. Here’s why to give a shit and get!
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN is one of the greatest remakes of all time. Action master, John Sturges brought to life this brilliantly badass Western version of Akira Kurosawa’s SEVEN SAMURAI. The result is a film that while essentially the same… it is wholly different. With stars like Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Coburn, Eli Wallach, Brad Dexter, ROBERT VAUGHN, Horst Buchholz and Yul Brynner… you rarely get a finer example of awesome non-steroidal manliness in the history of cinema. Then you have Elmer Bernstein’s score which is the shit of legend man. You have to see it so you can quote it, because if you can… while affecting the original film context… You’ll cause people to back the fuck up. THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN is one of those films that everybody’s grandfather, father, older brother, Uncles… We love it. We love it, not because we’re told it is a great movie, but this movie – it puts hair on your chest. Makes you eat steak. Basically, it is a key film for becoming a thoroughly awesome Male. And gals. This is a movie that is likely to cause you a life time of misery. You’ll try to find a guy like one of these guys. But 99 times out of a 100, he’s a really pale pansy ass imitation. I mean, I try. But man. These are MEN! It’s required watching at least once in any one that professes to love film’s lives! If you want to see it again, that means you’re cool.


C’mon. You don’t need me to do this on this do ya? Because I will. I’ll go full geek hump on this one. Arguably the best scored film ever. Basil Poledouris made this film not need CG. Your money is probably better served upon purchasing this Blu Ray than seeing an inevitably mere shadow later this month. John Milius fashioned this film to be a thing of LEGEND! Now this film is R-rated. And the other day on Twitter, a young boy asked his father to watch CONAN THE BARBARIAN with his Dad said, “Fuck No.” For the young boy, I offer this impassioned defense of the film as being awesomely suitable for any future awesome guy. This is a movie about a little boy that grows up to kill the bastard what killed mom and dad! He dedicates his body to being the instrument of revenge. Kinda like BATMAN. He hits a fucking camel and it goes down. That shit must be seen by a child. OK… the nudity & sex… well, except that’s the reward you get for growing up strong and on a path to avenge mommy & daddy’s lost lives. There are rewards. Indeed there are. This is modern mythology. It’s hard for me to imagine being a kid without CONAN THE BARBARIAN. But the main thing I learned from this film… the thing all should learn… Which is the answer to that question that haunts all existence. WHAT IS GOOD IN LIFE? Yes, this movie will teach you the answer to that question. And it is so. This is easily one of the most watched movies in my life. I’ve seen it countless times. I could damn near quote the movie as it plays, but I’m way busier worshipping it. ALSO – this does include the greatest audio commentary of all time. JOHN MILIUS & ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER. This is my favorite commentary ever. Especially when Arnold realizes how fucking great this move was… because he evidently didn’t know that till he was watching it with Milius to record this fucking commentary. And that moment is just pure rock hard bliss. Really is. It has accompanying hysterical laughing – at least if you’re me. I love that Arnold really did bite and rip out the flesh of a dead vulture whilst crucified on a tree of fucking woe! I love that when my father and I were driving in Spain, we found the rock formation that Conan climbed up to escape the wolves, where he found the Atlantean sword… Where his real story began… And we climbed that rock – and we were real damn pleased with ourselves, cuz we weren’t looking for it. And it was there. So yeah. It’s an essential in this household.


Just about one of the oddest awesome films you’re likely to see. AICN used to have a great contributor named Lane Myer and he always made me smile with that. Lane Myer is, of course, the main character being crushed by just about everything in life in BETTER OFF DEAD. He’s also played by an amazing John Cusack in this film. The Japanese guys that speak like Howard Cosell… I mean it should absolutely not work, but it kills me… every time I watch this. The Paperboy ever insistent upon his $2. Lane’s mother’s cooking. Lane’s little brother’s amazing Self-Help book results. The Van Halen Burger – which was the inspiration for that Harry Head animation earlier this year. Which threw a lot of folks. But come on! Watch this. Learn it. And enjoy.


This is a completely weird and awesome film. Jean-Jacques Annaud’s THE NAME OF THE ROSE, is kind of just one of those films that marked in my mind, the moment when Sean Connery was just absolutely fascinating. The other film he made this year was fucking HIGHLANDER… and the next film he made was THE UNTOUCHABLES. All actors should hope for a trio this incredibly different, iconic and the quality he has in each that makes you love him. It’s completely different in each. Connery was just starting to get a second wind. And thinking of those films just makes me hungry to watch THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER and INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE. I really miss Sean Connery on film. I wonder what badass will coax him to do something epic… perhaps a tiny brilliant, perfect note kind of role. I just hope it happens. Then you have a really fucking weird performance from Christian Slater. But for me, what I most love about THE NAME OF THE ROSE is the really weird Salvatore as played by Ron Perlman. Ron was having a hard time as an actor before this. I loved him in QUEST FOR FIRE and ICE PIRATES, but he did this, then landed the role of Vincent in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST opposite John Connor’s mommy – and he was firmly established in geek corners. But his Salvatore is part of a foreign director trilogy that I’ve always considered the Ron Perlman Trilogy, which is this, Guillermo Del Toro’s CRONOS and Jeunet & Caro’s masterful CITY OF LOST CHILDREN. They also happen to be my favorite Ron Perlman performances. I love them so much because I found them before this site. If you love Ron, you’ll love him in this utterly bizarre Medieval Mystery – and while critics were all over the place on this film. Austin’s critical voice at the time loathed it. I read that review, then saw the movie knowing that that idiot bastard was wrong – and he was. When you’re growing up to eventually write and argue film, it’s important to hate an established film voice. It gives you a reason to be passionate about cinema. But I used to scream at Patrick Taggart reviews in the Austin American Statesman. Then Dad and I would argue the movie against his review. Pre-talkback. It was the best. These first four films are ones that I’m just real happy to getting in Blu. They’re films I really do dearly love.


If you love JANE EYRE – the story – and you must have a film version, the very best is Orson Welles’ JANE EYRE. A film of such perfection and Bronte gothic melancholy that it earns its status as the best telling of the tale… BUT – I really do love this version. I’m new to it… only seen it twice, whereas I’ve seen Welles’ version about 12 times. I don’t believe upon repeat viewings that it’ll change in the least. But when I watch this film, it will be to watch Michael Fassbender and Mia Wasikowska together. They’re outstanding. And I do really love the dramatic narrative change the film made in what it chose to not deliver to us. That felt ballsy and it moved the story along in a fashion that made me feel like I was rediscovering the story, as opposed to just being told it, again.


Here’s a film that I checked out at FANTASTIC FEST – and it’s a really cool Post-Apocalypse (Vampire cause) little flick. Now, it isn’t taking the trophy from LAST MAN ON EARTH or OMEGA MAN, but if you’ve been missing Kelly McGillis on film, she’s really awesome here. This really does play like a tough gritty – practical vampire apocalypse. Because it doesn’t get ridiculous. It stays grounded. Oh – and it never ever looks like a video game. Imagine that.


Ok BNAT-folks… Remember SAHARA? This is like that… but instead of Nazis – the danger are baboons. Don’t laugh. Baboons are scary fucking dangerous wild animals that will attack in packs. I love “totally fucked situation movies.” This is a pretty bad situation. The survival story is amazing. Now wait till you see the bit with the ‘eggs’. Or the… no, I save that. What you have here is a tough movie. If you loved Stanley Baker from Caine’s ZULU or with Peck in THE GUNS OF NAVARONE – you know him and he’s great in everything I’ve ever seen him in. He produced this movie, and then plays a fantastic character in it. The type of character that an actor puts it on the line to play and I totally get that here. If you love DARK OF THE SUN… this film belongs in that kind of universe. The stuff shot in Namibia is just kind of amazing, same with the work shot in the Andalucian area of Spain. Just gorgeous print and a nice film to discover on Blu!


Most Americans are not aware that in countries around the world, their beloved television shows are often times adapted from our successful television shows. Here, Philip Rosenthal wound up shooting a fairly great documentary showing the process – and you just have to see this. I found the doc to be hysterical, while also having a lot to say about the translation process. Which is just amazing. I find myself wanting subtitled versions of the Russian version of this show. And I couldn’t stand EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND. Check it out and see.


I like the SPY KIDS trilogy. It is absolutely insane playful imaginative posturing, but it is relentlessly fun. Thumb Thumbs are just some of the best evil henchmen ever. I also love the cave of sleeping sharks, the jet packs and how silly and fun the whole affair is. That said, I really love the next one!

SPY KIDS 2 Blu Ray

This is my favorite of the SPY KIDS trilogy. Why? Well this is the one where Rodriguez was most influenced by Ray Harryhausen. But – the best is that you have the introduction of Ricardo Montalban as the kids’ Grandfather – and Ricardo is awesome in both this and the next one. This is the one with the kid sized skeleton army. Love those guys. Also – Steve Buscemi is a whole lot of fun as the crazy mad scientist. If you have little kids – this really is gold.

SPY KIDS 3 Blu Ray

This is the film where I got to meet Sylvester Stallone and where we became friends. Of all the films, this is the most trippy. To me. Stallone plays 4 different characters – all in radically different make-up – and you can tell, he’s having a blast. He really was. Also, in this episode – you get to see Grandpa Montalban have his head placed on a superhero videogame body and do some really crazy shit! Of the 3, the visual effects really began to show their limitations here – but damn if the fun imaginative qualities and the child-logic of the series more than made up for it.


This is a film where Melissa Leo (crazy young here) plays a teenage prostitute – in what is obviously a whorsploitation flick – but really, Leo’s work elevates the film from being just pure exploitation. Also – any movies with Antonio Fargas and Julie Newmar has just the right amount of kitsch to make me happy. SHOUT! Does another great job of finding excellent material from the vaults of Corman! This has a commentary with the writer/director & producer. Good flick.


Ok – I’m sucker for flicks like this. First off, it is directed by William Dear, who did the ok, but very popular ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD. But this is a far superior film and story. Based on the true story about the 1957 Little League World Series. If you don’t know the story, don’t read about it, but by all means – if your kid is doing Little League – or you want your kid to be into Little League Baseball – this is the film to show. Then the original BAD NEWS BEARS. After that, they’ll be good to go. This is one of those films that you’ll really get caught up in. The sad part is – this is one of those films like WONDERFUL ICE CREAM SUIT – where an inherent racism that exists in the studios keeps a movie of such high quality like this from getting distributed. A film like this can change a little kid’s life. Show it to some!


This is one of those films that made me spitting angry when I saw it – and now I look at it and it just makes CONAN THE BARBARIAN look like the fucking miracle that it is. There are some that claim Basil Poledouris’ score for this is superior to the original. I think those people are the crazy… but it is true that this score is great… because I do like it, though it is tied to excrement upon the screen. But there is a CONAN movie that exists with Wilt Chamberlain and Grace Jones – and the ugliest lamest monster at the end. I watch this as cheese… to my wine. I will argue with the movie as I watch it. Picking fights. Fucking their sister and punching its children. This movie is not a worthy sequel. It’s only purpose is as a lesson in how sometimes 1 film is best left alone. Though that’s a defeatist. The fact is – when you make a film as awesomely badass as CONAN THE BARBARIAN – you don’t make a silly, goofily cast and – oh yeah. DO NOT MAKE IT PG!


This isn’t a barebones 2 pack, but the full releases – 2 discs each – for a price of $18.99 – which if you haven’t taken the dip yet, is a damn fine price for a pair of great flicks. Great value.


Personally – I recommend the larger more expensive version – with all the awesome bells and whistles. Sure you’re paying more and you don’t really like GODFATHER part III nearly as much as these two. Sure, you can pay $18.99 for the two truly perfect films. No way of cutting it, that’s a deal. But if you’re a serious film geek – you have to have the frills on an epic like the GODFATHER trilogy.


I devoured this trilogy of feature length episodes of ZEN. That’s the swinging Italian Dick that’s onto the high profile headline grabbing conspiracies and criminal awesome. Every girl wants him, yet he’s particularly fond of this one gal. It really is just the most fun. The three episodes begin with the excellent VENDETTA – then CABAL and finishes up with RATKING. I just wish I could see more of these things. I really did dig Rufus Sewell in this. Love the vibe of a pulpy Italian Detective. And Sewell just nails it. You really should take a look at it!


Tuesday, August 9th, 2011


PAUL Blu Ray

I really do feel that PAUL is a really great geek comedy. I know that’s a specified genre, but it is an incredibly meta-genre. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have managed by their very base awesome nature – they’ve grown past their Edgar Wright roots – into hands of filmmakers like JJ Abrams, Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson and Greg Mottola. These two actors are the patron saints of modern geek culture. The Laurel & Hardy. A modern Cheech & Chong – and they do it with an emotional honesty, geeky enthusiasm and fantastic talent. Here, they constructed a comedy about Nick and Simon coming to the United States for the first time as a writing and artist team – for their first Comic Con… and whilst here, they’ve decided to get together and do a UFO tour of the United States in an RV… and they run into PAUL – played by Seth Rogen – and for me it worked perfectly. My only disappointment was that the end visual effects weren’t quite as amazing as I would’ve hoped. From the spaceship design…. But that’s nitpicking. Overall – I just found it to be fantastic. Also – Kristen Wiig is just amazing in this. My favorite turn of hers.


Not quite the Taxi Driver of garage superhero flicks, but one is most likely coming. And it could resemble this, but less funny and bleak. SUPER is a mean fucking little flick. It’s hilarious. Really great. But it is mean. Once the Anarchist’s Handbook comes out – you’ll just have to hold on till the end. I don’t know if I particularly like Rainn Wilson’s character. He’s awfully… dense. But Ellen Page – holy shit that’s hot. She’s hilarious, sexy and absolutely fucking insane in the film. Good stuff. Kevin Bacon rules this film though. James Gunn has delivered yet another cool as hell genre flick. Be interesting to see him with a bigger budget, but honestly – why? I would love films like this from him on a regular basis. This is pretty damn high quality – because the story and characters work. Doesn’t matter that it’s a small story – because it is so well told. By all means check this out!


You get the straight to video sequel as a bonus… but the original FOX AND THE HOUND has a level of magic that just isn’t replicated. Plus damn, that Bear fight is astonishing. One of the finest tense sequences in the history of Disney animation. Also, the whole relationship between the Fox and the Hound is just so tough. I mean, it isn’t an easy relationship to maintain – and where it goes is pretty rough. It can be very scary, but at the same time, it is a lesson in tolerance and friendship – valuable lessons for any kids. But you really want to just study the bear sequence over and over again. It is so good. Tim Burton had a hand in that – and tonally it is completely its own thing. Amazing.


I didn’t entirely love the film upon first viewing. I think I wanted a different movie than what it was when I first saw it. Re-evaluating it on Blu-Ray moved me from having had an amusing experience… to believing absolutely – that if you have a couple friends over for a movie night… Start with STARDUST – have your drinks or whatever, then follow up with YOUR HIGHNESS. More than anything, this is the raunchy funny as hell version of that kind of fantasy universe. On this planet though… it is all quite a bit sillier. But with the eye candy, just jaw-dropping wierdness and the sense of fun… well, it works! Really glad I gave the film a second watch, it’ll be quite a bit of fun with the right friends.


Ok – so you say you love Johnny Depp. Well, if you don’t love DEAD MAN – I don’t know what to say. This is exactly the sort of film that made me love Johnny Depp. Jarmusch’s DEAD MAN is truly one of the most unique and poetic westerns ever made. The cast alone is worth the visit – with dignitaries like Robert Mitchum, Alfred Molina, Iggy Pop – and damn Gabriel Byrne is great. Then you get a Neil Young soundtrack! And it is perfectly imperfect. If you love bizarre Depp – you’re in for a treat!


This film had terrible trailers – the marketing really made the film look like the worst possible version of the story. Those trailers were definitely cut from this film – but they did it in a way that made the film seem bland, ridiculous and worst of all lame. I always was interested because this was an adaptation of BLOOM COUNTY’s Berkeley Breathed’s children book – and I’m a devout follower of Breathed. Then upon seeing the film – the human characters kind of remind me of that Richard Corben HEAVY METAL look. The main character that turned me off in the trailers is Dan Fogler’s Gribble – but that’s cuz they highlighted the most annoying aspects of his character which are sparsely spread out throughout the actual film. Fogler’s Gribble has an amazing story in this film and easily comes out as my fave character. I also just kind of love Joan Cusack’s mom. She’s just perfect. The Martian design is ultra cute – but this is a thinly veiled juvenile riff on JOHN CARTER OF MARS – the jumping powers, the hatchery, the industrial issues. But this is a kids tale – a silly one, but Seth Green, Dan Fogler and a really cute Martian named Ki made the film a surprising delight. Not perfect, but a fun family flick.


I was 10 years old. My best friend and I snuck into a screening of FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH and – you have to understand, I was about to be in Junior High. It was coming up. It was the sort of thing that as an elementary kid, you get concerned about. You hear that things are different. And I saw this flick. Suddenly I realized that in High School there could be fucking, pregnancy, fights, threats of failing and repeating school, driving and dating. HOLY SHIT! That’s just 3 years away, my monkey brain thought. Phoebe Cates’ motivationally awesome scene aside, for me I love Jennifer Jason Leigh and her brother Judge Reinhold – and I wanted to be that kind of brother for my little sister. One that would be there for her. I found myself once I was at High School trying to identify those characters – and ya know? They were there for me. There’s a truth to FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH. It might seem stylized and crazy, but that’s High School in the 80s. The Vans with no socks, the big hair, the mall scene… the awkwardness, the wild emotional swings, the fucking drama, the class clowns… I love this movie. I love it, because while I was in High School – my friends and I were all watching this movie – countless times to try and figure out the mystery of our own existence. When I watch this film, it carries countless conversations with my best friends, the drama from my high school, the lessons I learned. This is where I first fell in love with Cameron Crowe, cuz you better believe I paid attention to the WRITING credit. This film didn’t sound like kids from American Graffiti or Happy Days or LEAVE IT TO BEAVER – I recognized instantly that this was my youth and we were about to live it. This film was my future – and it was pretty damn accurate. Love this film – love it on BLU – there’s reasons this film needs the highest resolutions!


There’s a part of me that waits every day to hear that Neil Moritz has picked up the option for this – and that Universal would suddenly have the FAST FIVE being recruited to be the M.A.S.K. guys… I was always more into M.A.S.K. than TRANSFORMERS – I loved this show. Having seen MAD MAX 1 & 2 around the same time, the idea of weapon modifying super cars – shit… I’d seen that car swim in a James Bond flick – and this was pushing the gadget car through the roof. So here you have the complete MASK collection – and damn that’s a whole lot of fun. 1500 minutes of amped upped animated car action.


If I were you – I’d hold off for the upcoming Criterion Blu of DAZED AND CONFUSED which comes out about a week before Halloween. This release just won’t be the print nor will it contain the extras and love that Criterion will put into it’s October release. But this copy is $16.49 at Amazon and the Criterion copy is $35.99 – but me… I always hold out for the Criterion if given a chance. It’s rare that the releases are right on top of each other like this – but felt you should know! However, if you can’t wait till October and are on a budget… how else will you sate your 1080p TOP NOTCH urges?


Probably the most applicable and telling documentary about why colonialism is a dying policy. Gives the basics of modern political and guerilla war tactics through the guise of terrorism. The film is stunning. Brilliantly shot – recreating THE big year in the Algerian war for independence from France. Criterion has already done so much for this title in the past, but now giving us a pristine Blu? Fantastic. It comes loaded with supplementals. Just check it all out:
High-definition digital transfer, supervised by director of photography Marcello Gatti, with uncompressed monaural soundtrack
Gillo Pontecorvo: The Dictatorship of Truth, a documentary narrated by literary critic Edward Said
Marxist Poetry: The Making of “The Battle of Algiers,” a documentary featuring interviews with Pontecorvo, Gatti, composer Ennio Morricone, and others
Interviews with Spike Lee, Mira Nair, Julian Schnabel, Steven Soderbergh, and Oliver Stone on the film’s influence, style, and importance
Remembering History, a documentary reconstructing the Algerian experience of the battle for independence
“États d’armes,” a documentary excerpt featuring senior French military officers recalling the use of torture and execution to combat the Algerian rebellion
“The Battle of Algiers”: A Case Study, a video piece featuring U.S. counterterrorism experts
Gillo Pontecorvo’s Return to Algiers, a documentary in which the filmmaker revisits the country after three decades of independence
Production gallery
Theatrical and rerelease trailers
PLUS: A booklet featuring an essay by film scholar Peter Matthews, excerpts from Algeria’s National Liberation Front leader Saadi Yacef’s original account of his arrest, excerpts from the film’s screenplay, a reprinted interview with cowriter Franco Solinas, and biographical sketches of key figures in the French-Algerian War


Jesse Eisenberg has a tiny, albeit key and gripping scene, in CAMP HELL… but if you’ve ever kind of wanted a CHRISTIAN CAMP horror film – where if what they preached was actually felt in the physical world instead of metaphysical world of faith. It has all kinds of creeps. It is also cryptically inspired by true events. I have to admit, Jesse Eisenberg’s involvement lured this into my machine, and while his part was small, the quality of the project when he left screen continued to hold up and surprise. Let this be the horror film to show that friend of yours that’s headed for their Christian Camp. It’ll be loads of fun.


I will watch any and all Christina Lindberg projects ever. I’ve seen a few – and I don’t mind saying this – she is a total turn on. She’s THE star of the great Swedish sexploitation and violence classics – and her performances, body and just exquisite face & poise – just holds my attention. I just want it all on Blu! This was very much worth it. This also has one helluva movie party. I’ve noted that they’re very different from my own. I have taken detailed notes though. Perhaps you could learn a thing or two. This is also Lindberg’s last film. Sadly.


You see that quote? “A MUST FOR FILM BUFFS” from New York Magazine? Take it to the bank. At the heart of film is the love of the photographic image. Few ever captured better images on film than Jack Cardiff. This film about his life is required film geek blu ray purchase material. For one, just getting to see Cardiff’s brilliance on display in 1080p – when so much of it is still not available in the format. Also – Cardiff’s own story is just fascinating. Pure film geek bliss!


Fucking piece of shit! Will somebody please make a great film with Keitel again?!?!?

THE George Sanders SAINT Collection

I’m familiar with THE SAINT through Roger Moore’s TV Show and the Val Kilmer minor atrocity. That said – the notion of the man that once faced the children of the damned as The Saint, no matter how ironic that character title is for the man playing him here… I’m dying to check these out. Here for the first time on DVD are the 5 George Sanders SAINT films which began in 1939. I’ve always heard nothing but the best about this series – and hope mine arrive soon!


Readers Talkback
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  • Bullshit. If anyone has ever said such a thing, they deserve to be murdered and disposed of in a self-cleaning convection oven.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:07 a.m. CST

    Fucking their sister and punching its children.

    by cushing1967

    Fucking whose sister? I get that you want to punch Conan the Destroyers children - but whose sister is it you're going to be fucking? Sometimes I have absolutely no idea what you mean Harry. Conan the Destroyer does have a great score, not as good as Conan the Barbarian but I am very much looking forward to Intrada's expanded release at some point this year.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:09 a.m. CST

    Is it the cast and crews sisters?

    by cushing1967

    No, can't be that either as it has to be the singular sister of a collective bunch of people. If you're talking about the films sister then I guess you mean you'll be fucking Red Sonja? The film not the made up character.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:09 a.m. CST

    Anyway, stop being so 'one of the guys' Harry

    by cushing1967

    You just don't do it very well at all.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:11 a.m. CST

    So, I was going to beat up this overweight dude in a wheelchair....

    by cushing1967

    He looked at me and said 'We deal in lead' and I backed the fuck off.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:12 a.m. CST

    The Best Jane Eyre is the one with Timothy Dalton

    by Dennis_Moore

    and Zelah Clarke.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:17 a.m. CST


    by Jaka


  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:20 a.m. CST

    Godfather trilogy reasonably priced on amazon UK

    by KarlKolchak

    Like 30 shipped or something

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:22 a.m. CST

    Conan The Barbarian

    by Jaka

    Too many people say this is one of the best fantasy films, or sword and sorcery films, one of the best 80s films, but they always say it like they feel guilty or somethin'. Ya know what? Fuck that! Its one of the best films ever made, period! Top ten for me, personally, but seriously, its easily top 100 overall. Considering how many films have been made in the last 100 years, that's saying quite a lot. <p> And damn straight its the best film score. Yeah, yeah, I know there's more iconic themes out there. But for me money, from beginning to end, taking into account every piece of music, this one is the best (and there's a ton of stuff that wasn't even used).

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:22 a.m. CST


    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    Huge fan of that one. Why not mention anything about the quality of this transfer though? If it's been done right it should be beautiful. But, I have heard before that Miramax (or was it just the Weinsteins particularly?) hated the film and weren't down with Jarmusch's cut or some such bullshit and practically buried the film alive. If true, it's a crying shame, cause the fucking film is a masterwork IMHO. Basically, I'm just hoping that Miramax (or whoever the fuck actually owns the film now) might feel the same way about this little-seen gem and give it the care and attention it deserves. The first time I saw the film I was absolutely riveted. The girl I was with quite loudly proclaimed it to be BORING. I lost interest in that chick pretty quickly. Eat a dick, DEAD MAN rules.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:27 a.m. CST

    Conan The Destroyer

    by Jaka

    Stinking, rotten pile of shit. Fuck that movie. There's a fight scene in that movie where Arnold hits someone with his sword and it bends. Then he goes into the next move and the sword is still clearly bent. They left that shit IN the movie. And don't even get me started on how they're clearly "pulling" almost everything inches from the target. The acting is horrible. The costumes are horrible. The sets are horrible. The costumes are horrible. Just... fuck. that. movie! It ruined such a great opportunity. <p> And as the choppah pointed out so eloquently, the score does not even compare to Conan The Barbarian. Shit, the music Poledouris wrote for the Universal Studios live show was better than the music for The Destroyer.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:29 a.m. CST

    Great price on Braveheart/Gladiator

    by Jaka

    But maaan, I still can't watch Mel's movies. And I really, REALLY love Braveheart. But all I can see on the screen is crazy Jew-bashing, wife-bashing Mel. Sucks.

  • ... but Christina Lindberg WAS fucking fine. I may have to check that one out.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:32 a.m. CST

    Dead Man...

    by macheesmo3

    Criminally underrated film IMO. It's in my top ten of all time (somewhere between Good,Bad,Ugly and Jaws) It's a beautifully shot existential western. Wonderful supporting performances. Interesting score (that some people may hate, but I think it captures the mood of the film perfectly) The cast is just incredible (seriously lets take a look see!!) : Depp,John Hurt, Lance Henricksen,John Hurt,Robert Mitchum,Billy Bob Thornton,Iggy Pop, Gary Farmer,Gabriel Byrne, Alfred Molina,Crispin Glover!!! I mean, it's just great!! Plus I dare someone to name me a B&W film of the last 20 years with more beautiful composition and lighting.... The photography is amazing! I'm baffled how this movie isn't a Sight and Sound top 20.... Maybe it just speaks to me...

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:33 a.m. CST


    by macheesmo3

    You are a man of fine tastes! Next time you find yerself on the Mississippi Gulf Coast, consider your beers paid for!

  • ...but is definitely a little slow. That kind of film isn't everyone's cup of tea. Even I have to be in the right frame of mind to really get into it. But I do like it, quite a bit, actually.

  • But ya know what, I like it. It makes me laugh and I'm not sure I've ever seen a film exactly like it. While I was watching it I had a thought that if Mel Brooks had made it during his heyday it would probably have been a huge hit.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:42 a.m. CST

    Isn't the Dead Man score Niel Young?

    by Jaka

    I seem to recall really liking it.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:45 a.m. CST

    Yep it's Neil Young

    by macheesmo3

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 4:18 a.m. CST

    Why do you still keep calling it DVD picks?

    by Volllllume3

    They're all blu-rays. DVD is dead and buried bro.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 4:24 a.m. CST my wine

    by scrote

    What the hell are you talking about, dude? Jesus, Harry, are you ten years old?

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 4:40 a.m. CST

    Espousing man-crush on MAG7 and CONAN to schill blu-rays...

    by justmyluck

    .... blech! Anyway, my father took me and a friend to see CONAN THE BARBARIAN opening night. We had seen R-rated movies together before, but it must have been Sandahl Bergman's skimpy clothes in the commercials that specifically sold dad on CONAN, because he was never big on sci-fantasy. I don't really remember much from that night, except the notorious witch scene and James Earl Jones' snake transformation. The CONAN DVD, which I picked up about 20 years later, was something of a revelation in that Milius' standard BRIE, CHEDDAR and MOZZARELLA CHEESE take on macho fit Robert E Howard casting pretty well - in retrospect, at least. As for the well-remembered witch scene, the MILIUS/SCHWARZENEGGER commentary oddly sidetracks into something a film tech guy started to do during the filming of the nude scene...but they never let the shoe drop and tell you WHAT he was doing which pissed them off. Other than that, it is a great commentary with testosterone A and testosterone B reminiscing - especially about Max von Sydow. Ahh...1982! So, I pre-ordered the CONAN and GODFATHER I&II blus last week - they may be here soon... I've never seen CONAN THE DESTROYER - it even had terrible press upon release. I do have both Poledouris soundtrack CDs now, though, and the original CONAN vinyl (which I used to listen to with Jones' THE DARK CRYSTAL score frequently back in the day!).

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 4:42 a.m. CST


    by Warren

    I just bought BRAVE-HEART last week for $24 bucks at best buy. All well, fuck it! I will for sure pick up CONAN and I'll wait for Dazed and Confused for October. But I'm picking up The Godfather 1&2 just because part 3 shouldn't even matter! As far as that Johnny Depp movie Dead Man, I like all of his films for the most part. I even watched Cry Baby, but I only got through about 40 minutes before I feel asleep. Don't understand the love that Jim Jarmusch gets in general, the only movie I ever liked by him was Ghost Dog, and the Limits of Control was about as entertaining as my dog licking his balls. Anyway good list once again....

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 4:54 a.m. CST

    Conan the Destroyer has the awesome Grace Jones

    by Volllllume3

    See it just for that.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 5:06 a.m. CST

    Conan does not exist in this dojo

    by Cobra--Kai

    Come on, anyone foo' can say CONAN THE BARBARIAN is better than CONAN THE DESTROYER - it's a no brainer. So answer me this, which is best in life... CONAN THE DESTROYER or RED SONJA? WHICHEVER YOU CHOOSE YOU LOSE!!!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 5:07 a.m. CST

    Grace Jones

    by justmyluck

    Yeah, she had a short run there with CONAN THE DESTROYER, A VIEW TO A KILL, SIESTA and VAMP. She was also pretty avante garde with 80's music, fashion and videos - almost like a Lady GaGa of that period.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 5:53 a.m. CST

    macheesmo3 - jaka

    by TheUmpireStrokesBach

    @m3: Your post above concerning DEAD MAN's virtues was wholeheartedly agreed with by this humble talkbacker. Always a pleasure to see others appreciating DEAD MAN's brilliance. And thanks for the offer as well! If I were to ever roll through those parts I just might do that. Do you have any tobacco? @jaka: I feel you concerning the films slowness. And hell, it's not even my cup of tea most of the time. I would definitely have to be in the mood or it could potentially be quite a slog. But that goes for just about any film out there, even the ones I adore. Frame of mind is key. Reminds me of this one time back in maybe 99/2000 or so..there were something like 9 of us all tripping our nuts off and jammed into my buddy's tiny bedroom in the middle of the night watching DEAD MAN on a shit TV via VHS tape..the majority of the group were mostly fuckin teenagers at the time, which you wouldn't expect really, as I don't think I could even PAY most teenagers that I know now to watch that thing..but on that particular night every single person there was MESMERIZED. That evening everyone's frame of mind balanced out just right I must say.. Concerning the soundtrack..can gush over that one as well..I'd highly recommend picking up the actual soundtrack album if you're enough of a's great mood music for chilling at home or especially for long drives. Totally builds from beginning to end with tasteful dialogue samples as well as some studio recordings of Depp reading pieces of William Blake's poetry interspersed throughout Neil's long rambling mutating guitar pieces. It's fucking awesome..EPIC really.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 6:12 a.m. CST


    by SonOfChiba

    From Portions of the film suffer from audio errors. These scenes (the initial attack on young Conan's village, the final battle, and several others) should have a choral section during Basil Poledouris' "Riders of Doom", but it had been mistakenly omitted from the new audio mix. This problem was also present on the UK Blu-Ray's English track earlier this year and has not been corrected for this release. A region-free Hong Kong Blu-Ray does not appear to share the same fate. Looks like the HK disc is the way to go!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 6:21 a.m. CST

    HARRY!! Sorry bud but Zen has been cancelled...

    by Big_Bubbaloola the BBC. I can only assume because it cost the fecking earth to produce, wasn't vastly popular, and considering the TV licence has been cut (or at least the BBCs share) it's had to drop a crap load of stuff.<p><p> Which of course means a LOT more repeats and fly on the wall docs ........ oh I cannot wait.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 6:21 a.m. CST

    Arnolds Conan only had ONE sword move!

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Front swirl (easy) left to right, then move sword around back. Swap sword hand and then bring sword to frong and CHOP! Sorta martial arts move, but looked really cool when first saw Arnie do it. Copied it myself with a large twig. But then you watch the film again and Arnold is so limited with the sword. AND he repeated the same move in Conan the Destroyer! Ha. What is best in life!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Arguably the best scored film ever

    by Mugato5150

    That's very arguable. I'd argue about that all day. John Williams and the Zombie Jerry Goldsmith would like a word.

  • WE ... JUST ... DON'T ... FUCKING ... CARE. Get it through your head. No one cares about your Hollywood friends. I mean, it's not like you're out going to parties with these guys, right? You're sitting on your ass watching movies like every other nerd.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 6:28 a.m. CST

    Perfection does not exist in this dojo

    by Cobra--Kai

    sonofchiba, thanks for the info. Why is that all my fave Blu Ray movies have some fucking fly in the ointment? CONAN missing bits of soundtrack... PREDATOR DNR'd within an inch of its life... LOTR green tinted... EXCALIBUR cropped frame... STAR WARS no original versions... We need some proper love and attention by proper film fans on these releases, cos right now it's like some grouchy IT technician is just hitting convert on the mixing desk and then going back to scratching his balls.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 6:39 a.m. CST

    Your Highness! great quest movie and really funny

    by wattos new hat

    I liked the theatre version better than the directors cut though.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:01 a.m. CST

    Holy crap,there is a full dvd release of MASK???

    by KilliK

    i gotta buy this baby,prondo.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:03 a.m. CST

    Harry - What are you on?

    by Jpmason

    Harry - I've been dipping into this site since 1997. Maybe like a lot of people, it's been more out of habit for a long, long time now. Its a bit shit isn't it, really? But......Yes Harry, we know, Sly is your friend and you fell in love on the Spy Kids 3 set. You claim that Sylvester was having a great time making the picture - but the fact is, that, he is embarrassed about his participation. He said this himself in an interview he gave to Empire magazine last year.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:04 a.m. CST

    The monster at the end of Conan is pretty damn good

    by D.Vader

    Don't listen to Harry. Its got a vagina for a mouth. And when that horn is torn off its head, you see the tendons snapping and blood spurting and man, you really *feel* that it is painful for that creature. That's some good FX work.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Sylvester and The Specialist

    by Jpmason

    Harry - tell us something interesting about Sly! Like, when is he going to make a sequel to The Specialist? A total classic - massively more interesting and entertaining than The Expendables (which is just, terrible). Pull the plug Ned, there's a kid in the car

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:11 a.m. CST

    @choppah There are a lot of people,both regular fans

    by KilliK

    and music critics,who say that the Conan2 OST is better than the original one.and and maybe they are right if we try .from our part, to ignore the misconception that if a movie is bad,then everything in it is bad. and Conan2 OST is not the only example of falling victim of this misconception by the hardcore fans. the Alien3 OST is considered the best of the Quadrilogy by a lot of people,but if you ask someone who only likes and takes as a canon only the first two films,he will probably insist that Goldsmith's ost is the best. Personally i dont give a fuck,if the music is great and i like it,i will hear it even if it is music made for a porno movie. And yes the Conan2 OST is indeed great,maybe not as good as the first one,but it deserves all the praise that it gets.

  • What is BEST in life, however, is...Well, you know the rest. Shame on you for misquoting that line, Harry.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:16 a.m. CST

    I was shocked at how much I liked Super

    by UGG

    I despise Ellen Page, and the trailers didn't impress me. Glad I watched it, I love movies that make me go WTF all of a sudden, and this made me WTF a few times

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:22 a.m. CST

    I think Name of the Rose is awesome

    by ATARI

    Go see it, you won't be disappointed you did.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:22 a.m. CST

    My favourite part of Destroyer has always been

    by D

    Conan sitting on his thrown at the end, looking slightly constipated. Again, fuck that piece of shit.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:47 a.m. CST

    Sylvester Stallone

    by Jpmason

    Harry - remind us again when you both fell in love

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:47 a.m. CST

    what is BEST in life, not what is good in life.

    by dalcross

    nice going Harry. You sound like my dad mangling those quotes. Still, not like it's one of your favourite films or anything. Oh wait......

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:06 a.m. CST

    when they remake the magnificent seven

    by mick vance

    they should recast charles bronson's character with charlie bronson. he should be out by then, right? to an ex-con like him, $20 would seem like a lot of money...

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:14 a.m. CST

    I loved Super, one of the best of the year

    by sunwukong86

    its everything i thought was missing from Kick Ass. Such a great movie

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:26 a.m. CST

    The main prob with Conan the Destroyer

    by Arteska

    Is the PG rating. It plays like a kid's birthday party next to first movie. It has all the right trappings but no edge whatsoever, which was fatal.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:31 a.m. CST

    conan the barbarian is the directors cut

    by nil8tion

    it has the fantastic springtime winds speech, fyi

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Red Sonya.

    by 3774

    Bergman in Conan was an idol for me. It still irritates me that Sandahl Bergman gave up the starring role to play villian, to that drugged-up idiot Brigitte Nielsen. There aren't many fictional, sword-wielding women in film to look up to, and i don't even buy Nielsen fighting her way out of a Macy's clearance sale. Arnold was great in the role, obviously. But the comment about his 'one sword move' is accurate. His 'skill' is muffle-your-face-and-giggle bad. Must-have, all-time-great movie, tho.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Another queen? Not on your knife!

    by D


  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:40 a.m. CST

    Oh, and the Conan/Bombarta fight was pathetic.

    by D

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Spy Kids? Really?

    by spmahn

    Good lord what a horrible trilogy of films. Robert Rodriguez should be ashamed.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:50 a.m. CST



    Did you hear that Intrada is releasing full scores for Barbarian and Destroyer? They went to the original masters and cleaned them up.. Finally a non bootleg FULL CONAN score to make my neighbors quiver in fear. And the score for Destroyer is the only thing its got going for it..besides Olivia D'Abo.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:53 a.m. CST

    Fuck a BETTER OFF DEAD barebones Blu release


    How many times does it need to play on Comedy Central before it is deemed worthy of a features laden disc? I mean--seriously--i thought BLU was for the A/V enthusiast and film lover? What self-respecting film geek is still buying movie-only discs? fuck that noise.

  • I was SO ANGRY after buying the CD - I found that the version of "Riders of Taramis" on the disc is a much abbreviated version of what plays on screen at the beginning of the movie - I wound up just ripping the audio from the beginning of the movie.... And ditto on "What is *good* in life?" - shame, shame, to butcher one of the best quotes ever ;-) And make no mistake, the original Conan score was something special even beyond us geeks - my wife's uncle has a Ph.D. in music theory and pedagogy (specializes in trumpet and piano, weird combo though that may be), and one day I let him listen to a few tracks from the original soundtrack. He got all geeky and excited as a musician, trying to explain to me all the cool stuff he was hearing in terms of unusual arrangements and counterpoints, how he'd never heard anyone make use of that many french horns at once, etc. He thought it was bad-ass. Cool stuff :-)

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:04 a.m. CST

    boy asking about conan on twitter


    if the boy is old enough to have a twitter account then he is old enough to watch Conan fuck a woman into a wolverine. Just sayin

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Love both YH and "Better Off Dead"...

    by Anna Valerious

    ...but I'm gonna be screencappin' the hell out of YH. :)

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:13 a.m. CST

    fuck comes GenderBlender


    to claim the Fall of Geek due to Paul's poor showing at the box office.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:16 a.m. CST

    the choppah, no, no - hadn't heard that

    by Jaka

    And I'm not sure if this what you were talking about or not, but either way, thank you! I had no idea this (below) existed, either. I also want what you're talking about as there has always been music used in the movie that wasn't on the disc. But I knew about the extra pieces that he wrote and I've always dreamed of hearing them. Looks like now I'll get my chance. I'm kind of stunned. <p> CONAN THE BARBARIAN (COND RAINE - 2 CD) <p> Label: Prometheus XPCD 169 Date: 1982 Tracks: 32 Time = 123:09 <p> 2 CD set from Belgium. <p> New re-recording of complete score to initial CONAN movie. Nic Raine conducts the City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra and Chorus. <p> DISC ONE: 1. PROLOGUE - FILM VERSION / ANVIL OF CROM 3:38 2. RIDDLE OF STEEL / RIDERS OF DOOM 5:32 3. THE GIFT OF FURY 3:25 4. COLUMN OF SADNESS / WHEEL OF PAIN 4:09 5. PIT FIGHTS* 2:45 6. PROLOGUE - Original Version 1:03 7. ATLANTEAN SWORD 4:00 8. WOLF WITCH* 3:21 9. THEOLOGY / CIVILIZATION 3:03 10. THE STREET OF DEVIANTS* / HOPEFULS AT THE TOWER OF SET* 1:28 11. THE TOWER OF SET* / SNAKE ATTACK* (Las Cantigas de Santa Maria) 5:20 12. INFIDELS* 1:02 13. THE TAVERN* 1:51 14. THE WIFEING 2:19 15. IN THE COURT OF KING OSRIC* 1:12 16. CONAN LEAVES VALERIA / THE SEARCH 6:02 17. THE MOUNTAIN OF POWER / CAPTURE* 3:59 18. THE TREE OF WOE / RECOVERY 6:04 <p> DISC TWO: 1. THE KITCHEN / THE ORGY 6:22 2. ORGY FIGHT* 2:52 3. FUNERAL PYRE 5:15 4. BATTLE PREPARATIONS / BATTLE OF THE MOUNDS Part I 5:58 5. BATTLE OF THE MOUNDS Part II* 2:11 6. BATTLE OF THE MOUNDS Part III / NIGHT OF DOOM 5:55 7. HEAD CHOP* 0:53 8. ORPHANS OF DOOM / THE AWAKENING 6:28 9. EPILOGUE / END TITLES* 5:08 BONUS TRACKS 10. THEOLOGY / CIVILIZATION - Alternate Version 3:27 11. THE TOWER OF SET - Alternate Cues* 3:36 12. THE BATTLE OF THE MOUNDS Part II - Original Version* 2:10 13. CHAMBER OF MIRRORS from CONAN THE DESTROYER 7:15 14. RIDERS OF DOOM - Orchestral Version 4:06 <p> * Previously unrecorded

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:20 a.m. CST

    love me some ARMED AND DANGEROUS though


    it'll be hard to choose between that blu and THE KILLING to buy next week.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:20 a.m. CST

    jpmason !

    by Sanyi

    I'm a fan of Stallone, but Specialist is a shitty movie imo. Expendables is far more entertaining.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:22 a.m. CST


    by Sanyi

    One of the best of the year. That's it. Terrific movie

  • 8:10, still gets me everytime, makes me want to riot....

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:25 a.m. CST

    Shocker that Harry Loves Spy Kids

    by Secretagentnumber6

    Some of the worst kids movies ever made, but directed by Harry's friend Robert Rodriguez. Spy Kids is the worst of kids movies, treats the audience like they are morons, and is campy as hell, and not in the good way. If you are a filmmaker from Texas do you automatically get a pass on making shitty films from this site or what?

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Everybody Loves Raymons was a good show.

    by hst666

    Some of the episodes are brilliant. It just tended to repeat itself after awhile. They probably only had 4 seasons worth of shows and made it last 9 seasons.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:28 a.m. CST



    No not the Prometheus re-recording..this is a whole new beast altogether.. it'll probably be coming out later in the year. Check back at Intrada Records from time to time..they are giving Varese a run for their money lately in kickass releases

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Conan Scores Being Reissued

    by WriteFromLeft

    Conan the Barbarian was re-recorded by Tadlow last year and is a great, great CD worth seeing out. The performance and sound are stellar. Intrada is reissuing the original scores for Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer. The release date is unknown, buy they're coming.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:37 a.m. CST

    ugg, fuck yeah!

    by Jaka

    You made my morning. Between you posting this and the_choppah alerting me to that Intrada release I think my head is about to explode. <p> The orchestra in the videos needs more french horns. Otherwise, what a beautiful and stirring performance. I may rip something from youtube for the very first time.

  • he grew strong because he spent his life pushing a giant donkey wheel and then was taught how to fight. He actually spent his life becoming a slave.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:40 a.m. CST

    The Choppah

    by hst666

    While I believe they could get "Savage" Steve Holland and Booger to participate in any DVD extras, I believe John Cusack hated the move, and only did One Crazy Summer because he was contractually obligated too. I believe it's one of the funniest comedies of the 80's. It's why I also liked Eek the cat and the Fabulous Thunder Lizzards later. Where oh where is my Eek the cat collection?

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Your welome Jaka.

    by UGG

    Tragedy he died only 4 months later. I'm sure I read somewhere he was never happy with the recordings for the movie or something. Thanks for the re-release news too. Cheers dude. Along with the Akira soundtrack album Conan is my favourite of all time. Every track is a gem.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Do NOT buy Conan the Barbarian!!

    by Koyaanisqatsi

    This new 5.1 audio remix is missing some great choral bits from Poledouris' score and some weird inaudible sound effects from time to time. You also do not have the option of watching the original mono mix. I repeat do NOT buy this until Universal fixes the release!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Are the choral portions in Conan missing..


    because of high re-use fees for choirs? Bull. Shit.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:10 a.m. CST

    the choppah, writefromleft, ugg

    by Jaka

    Well its about time! I've always wondered why Varèse Sarabande didn't release a longer version themselves (I love every dang track on the my original release). I figured there must have been some sort of rights issue. Its clearly some beloved music, so it would only have made sense for them (or someone else) to do so. Really happy to now hear of the re-recording (I just ordered one) and that the complete soundtrack finally getting a proper release. <p> Yes, I also remember hearing that Poledouris wasn't entirely happy with the recording. I love it so much that I just can't even begin to understand why that would be the case. But hey, he wrote it, so I suppose he knew how he wanted it to sound.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:10 a.m. CST


    by Koyaanisqatsi

    In all the years I've spent earning various music degrees I've never met a single musician or person who thought Goldenthal's Alien 3 score was superior to Goldsmith's Alien. Hell, Alien was one of Goldsmith's absolute best in a career of brilliance.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:10 a.m. CST

    Jack Cardiff's aborted "William Tell" with Errol Flynn!

    by darthliquidator

    Would have been awesome if they had found the 30 minutes or so of footage he shot (before the film's financing collapsed)..and put it on that docu as a bonus feature....and Cardiff directed the awesomeness-defined "Dark Of The Sun" as well...

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:22 a.m. CST


    by ufoclub1977

    The double team of the greatest "R" fantasy movies made. Incredible creativity, music, and aesthetic discipline on display. Why hasn't Amazon sent me my blu-ray notification for Conan? I think I ordered Conan a year ago. And why isn't "Koyaanisqatsi" on blu-ray? Camp Hell looks interesting. I really want to see "Paul"

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:27 a.m. CST

    Pop Quiz Hot Shots: Conan the Destroyer or Superman 4?


    If you HAD to--which would you rather watch? Conan for me.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Of course Conan.

    by UGG

    You can see that 16 year old nipples throughout.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Super was better than Kick Ass, yes i said it

    by sunwukong86

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Magnificent 7 tries to hard to be a "MAN'S" film and hasn't aged well at all.

    by welcometothepartypal

    Just watched it for the first time seeing that it is a "classic" that I missed. I liked it o.k. but you can't compare it to The Wild Bunch or Once Upon a Time in the West. Now those are MAN films God Damn It!! I mean Yul Brynner never breaks a sweat let alone get shot. He was also shorter than Steve McQueen, so he would always build up a mound of dirt to stand on when there was a 2 shot on both of them. McQueen would kick the mound down every time Brynner walked away between takes, so he really never looked taller(this has nothing to do with the quality of the film, but I love that story)

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:34 a.m. CST

    No need to rally against the new Conan film...

    by TheLastCleric

    The Milius Conan has aspects that are certainly fantastic, especially given the era it was made, but overall the film glosses over if not outright ignores many of the basic tenants of the character’s mythos. The notion of Conan having ever been a slave is in sharp contrast to a character (and his revered people) that never bends a knee to anyone. Also, Arnold plays him like a meathead when in actuality it is Conan’s intellect and wit that supplements his amazing combat prowess. I respect the Milius film and I love the score but it is a far cry from being an accurate and definitive take on the source material anymore than Burton’s Batman was a faithful emulation of the comics back in ‘89. This new film shares next to nothing in common with the original and from what I’ve seen and read it looks to have been heavily influenced by the original Howard source material. I also think Momosa (sp?) is going to deliver the goods, especially after having watched his excellent work in Game of Thrones. I really don’t see the need to bash the first new Conan flick in decades merely because it shares the same source material. The new Conan the Barbarian appears to aspire to be something entirely different, and that’s a good thing for fans of the material who understand that the original is more an Arnold movie than a true Conan feature.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:35 a.m. CST

    sunwukong86 Super WAS better than Kick Ass

    by UGG

    I thought so anyway but I could totally understand if people don't like Super. It felt slightly like what a Coen bros superhero movie would be like at times, which is why I liked it I think.

  • But it's not directly an R.E. Howard inspired Conan!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Damn spell check. The Truth of Conan's Badassery!

    by Cureguy

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Conan the Barbarian is the definitive Conan on film!

    by Cureguy

    Deal with it. Howard whiners can fuck off. Milus's Conan is best!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Here, boys.

    by 3774

    Don't miss this comedy four-pack coming out soon. Related genre sludge is genre and related.

  • "Conan the Destroyer" is, indeed, pretty terrible. The story was written by Roy Thomas & Gerry Conway of the monthly Marvel Conan comics, and the general structure of it is pretty much exactly like an average issue of "The Savage Sword of Conan". Maybe as a result, it feels much more comic book-ish than than it should, and I'm guessing Poledouris looked at the film and thought, "This isn't like the tone of the original. I've got to alter the tone of the score." So it's more comic book-ish and silly. It fits the movie.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Spy Kids 3 & Sly

    by Jpmason

    From '96 on, my career was a disaster. I was the fourth lead in a Spy Kids movie! I was in films that made $25,000. That was Shade (2004). It was over. Spiders were living on my phone. The films were going straight to DVD. The last one was called Avenging Angelo. And at the time, I said 'Jeez, I really want to buy this thing back and just burn it. It's really horrible.'

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:44 a.m. CST

    People forget that GODFATHER III was nominated for Best Picture!

    by Drunken Busboy

    Oh sure it's missing Robert Duvall and the Sofia/Andy Garcia cousin love affair is creepy, but it is still a pretty good flick. The 1st two Godfathers were Excellent Classics. Godfather III was just a good movie.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:44 a.m. CST

    People forget that GODFATHER III was nominated for Best Picture!

    by Drunken Busboy

    Oh sure it's missing Robert Duvall and the Sofia/Andy Garcia cousin love affair is creepy, but it is still a pretty good flick. The 1st two Godfathers were Excellent Classics. Godfather III was just a good movie.

  • I think it looks like it could be a decent movie anyway but that just makes it better. Does anyone know if any of the old score is going to be in the new movie?

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:07 a.m. CST


    by Warren

    I've been reading talk-back's a lot this year and there are a lot of people on here always talking shit about AICN or HARRY for some reason. & it seems that the steam wagon is growing. JPmason and countless other stupid fucks continue to bitch, so why all the hate. I mean we got a website were we can trash movies or talk about how fucking great they are, without HARRY this would not or never could have happened. I am glad that this website is here, and I like to hear the obscure ramblings of the critics on here as well. So what Harry has friends who happen to be directors or actors, I mean shit, if it was you I don't think you would complain. & so what if he favors some peoples work over others, all critics do this! & yes even major critics get spoiled by stars, studios, and directors for good reviews so this is not just a HARRY situation. Point being is come to the site and talk about the films and the material provided, stop being up HARRY ass and wishing you were the GEEK over LORD, cause your not, and because your not it does not give you right to act like a fucking faggot!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Conan does have one badass score.

    by Randy

    I love Conan, but the most memorable thing about it is that amazing score.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:34 a.m. CST

    waltere.kurtz is right guy's! He said it best ......

    by welcometothepartypal

    stop being up HARRY ass and wishing you were the GEEK over LORD

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:38 a.m. CST

    THE GODFATHER PART III is not a good movie.


    Just because something is nominated for best picture doesn't mean it's good. It was nominated for the names attached and the legacy of the first two films. Terrible or mediocre films that have won or were nominated for best picture outnumber even my progeny, both known and unknown.

  • as well as the special features. Buying 2/3 of the Saga is for suckers.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Suckers of titties, that is!


    So, yeah, go ahead and buy 2/3 of the saga unless you're a creepy completist.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:51 a.m. CST

    The Saint (Val Kilmer) had a great 90s soundtrack.

    by sweeneydave

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Conan the Barbarian was great, but the sequel doesn't

    by sweeneydave

    make the first film worse. In fact, I see it as a version of Conan that I can watch with my son (as opposed to the other). Red Sonja is another awful, but suitable for kids one.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:53 a.m. CST

    I hated Battle of the Algiers. I tried watching it 4 times

    by sweeneydave

    and kept falling asleep. I finally sent it back to Netflix.

  • insert women cant drive jokes here

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Sorry to hear that, sweeneydave.


    I was hooked on THE BATTLE OF ALGIERS from the beginning. So many other films have tried and failed to match verite style it had. Oh, and Morricone's score kicks ass and takes names.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Conan the destroyer ost better? Have you no shame??!?!

    by Darth Macchio

    I didn't even think Poulidoris did Destroyer but turns out he's listed. I'm guessing he didn't create any new pieces for that stinker and just mixed together the more common themes from Barbarian while dropping the best themes (Conan's with the drums, wheel of pain, tree of woe, etc and the orgy scenes of course!) But if someone actually thinks that Destroyer's s/t is even in the same universe as Barbarian, then that person needs a beating. Seriously - every three seconds the same horn-driven theme repeats in Destroyer - it's so completely uninspired as to not even be Poulidoris's work (even tho it is!!). I'm usually quick to defend subjectivity and opinions but this is unacceptable. At the risk of sounding like a pretentious asshole, Conan the Barbarian is an empirically better soundtrack than Conan the Destroyer. On every level that exists as a level at all. Oh and don't be too harsh on the monster - that's Andrea the Giant in the suit!!!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:10 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Andrea the giant? One scary bitch! macchio, it's been decades but im actually going to have to watch CONAN THE DESTROYER again now, just to 'listen' to it.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:11 p.m. CST



    Don't do that to yourself, buddy. Just buy the soundtrack.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Your Highness was hilarious

    by SilentP

    I continue to be completely baffled that people didn't like that movie. The first half was a little tedious because it didn't have much of an engaging plot to go with the humour, but it picked up in the second half, and overall it was great.

  • And last weeks release of season two proves that season one was no fluke. The best thing is seeing Deep Roy (Star Trek, WW & the Chocolate Factory) play a swearing, knife wielding badass.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Not pulling everything in Conan the D...

    by Hipshot

    Grace Jones seriously fucked up some stunt-men in her fight scenes. You can actually see her breaking noses. Bitch.

  • The Alien 3 score features overblown bombastic chanting minus subtlety or nuance. It lacks the creepy atmosphere of Jerry Goldsmith's ALIEN or the blood-pumping adrenaline of Horner's ALIENS. The first two scores are influential and iconic. Conan the Destroyer's score is a tired retread of the original film's themes, with very little originality of its own (with the lone exception of the excellent Chamber of Mirrors theme). EVERY track from Conan the Barbarian is memorable, and only one track from Conan the Destroyer isn't borrowed directly from its predecessor's soundtrack. Destroyer's remixes are too briskly paced, stripping the original themes of their regal grandeur. No one, except a pure contrarion, would claim Destroyer's score is superior to Barbarian's.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Above subject should be in quotes. Fix your site, Harold.


  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:43 p.m. CST

    sonofchiba, CONAN no audio problem on US release

    by Mattman

    Just checked mine to make sure, and the chanting is present on all those scenes.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:45 p.m. CST deceptive fool.


    I had top men look into this, and the chanting is indeed on the bluray. sonofchiba: "Who?" TOP. MEN. CHOPPED

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:47 p.m. CST

    or what Mattman said.


    Whatever. Fine Choppin! I want an autographed copy of your new book regarding the auto-erotic asphyxiated adventures of Robin Hood. Or were you doing the pirate one? CHOPPAHO INDIAN

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:51 p.m. CST


    by jawaburger

    What special features would you like to see for Better Off Dead? I would personally enjoy a commentary, but outside of that, I don't think there is much to know. Commentaries are probably the only special feature I enjoy on most movies. SF about how they did stunts, or how they shot this scene are so redundant. Or the ones with the actors and directors sucking each other's dicks about how awesome the movie is. I hate those the most. I would guess that only one in twenty movies has special feature worth watching.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:53 p.m. CST

    You people got something against Universal or what?!?!?


    First you claim that music is altered in Animal House and now you are saying Conan is butchered..but it appears it might be just the non-USA countries affected to which i say... sack up and move to the greatest broke ass country in the world. (we need the taxes)

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:55 p.m. CST



    There were two special features aired on network television shortly after Better Off Dead came out. One regarding an issue with Eddie Van Halen coming on set to check out the homage to him. The other was a behind the scenes on casting the film. Cusack's role was read by the likes of Eric Stoltz, Michael J Fox, Levar Burton (?) and a few others I can't remember. I think they were 20 -30 minutes in length.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 12:59 p.m. CST



    but yeah a commentary would be nice. but a retro doc would also be good to show how unsung the film was back in the day..and how influential it is now. anything but just a broke ass trailer.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Name of the Rose

    by Circean6

    Has the HOTTEST R-rated sex scene I've ever seen & I think Slater said that was when he lost his virginity filming it...

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 1:07 p.m. CST

    Basil Poledouris

    by david starling

    Conan, Robocop, Starship Troopers - I may just forget the Blu-Rays and go out and buy the soundtracks!! Damn, this man influenced Jerry Goldsmith's score for Total Recall in moments, and Howard Shore's score for Lord of the Rings at points (pretty much all of them, if I can remember!!). Damn it Harry, you really need to write a piece on this man's amazing work, and the fact that we're all a little less for the fact that he isn't here anymore.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Those do sound good . . .

    by jawaburger

    I do get a little cynical about special features.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Choppah, lol

    by Mattman

    I'd have to autograph your kindle (or ipad)... then you'd have my autograph on any book you read. Which would be awesome. The book's going up today. Probably didn't put enough pirate hookers in for Viggeo, unfortunately.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 1:11 p.m. CST

    SUPER was fantastic...

    by DavidDunn

    No Butts!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 1:14 p.m. CST



    why on earth would you want Harry to wax eloquent on the gift of Poledouris? Have you seen the man's ramblings?!?! it wouldnt be about the composer but more about Harry and then half the facts would be wrong. Only ScoreKeeper can truly give a knowledgeable and coherent tribute to a composer around these parts, pardner.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 1:22 p.m. CST

    I want a Hard-R remake of Kalahari

    by Fred

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 1:26 p.m. CST

    7 Samurai AND Mag 7...are two of my early and best...

    by carlotta_valdes experiences ever. "I have the most stylish corner of the filthy storeroom out back...that and a plate of beansss......ten dollars a day."

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Levar Burton = Jordie on Star Trek TNG

    by Darth Macchio

    And he read for Better off Dead? Weird! Like when I first read that Jackson had Xena (Lucy Lawless) in mind for Arwen as his first choice! Lucy Lawless?!?! First choice for Arwen? Really?? WTF?!!?!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 2:03 p.m. CST

    if we were talking body of work mugato5150...

    by carlotta_valdes

    ...these are the guys that would fight it out imo... Bernard Herrmann Franz Waxman Elmer Bernstein Ennio Morricone Lalo Schifrin John Williams Jerry Goldsmith

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 2:03 p.m. CST



    Easily my favorite film of Depp's and holy hell is Niel Youngs soundtrack amazing.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 2:26 p.m. CST

    darth macchio


    Crazy, right? Imagine the trails Lavar would have blazed. Hell, we could have ended up with a black president earlier if he had gotten that role. Or at least a black guy in FAT MAN AND LITTLE BOY.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Conan the Barbarian is the fucking shit

    by disfigurehead

    It stomps all over that abortion that is coming in 2 weeks.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Speaking of soundtracks

    by welcometothepartypal

    I remember watching In the Name of the Rose years ago and thought the score did not fit AT ALL. Am I crazy? I remember thinking I'd never watch it again because of this.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 2:48 p.m. CST

    Dead Man and Dazed & Confused

    by IWasInJuniorHighDickhead

    both in my top ten

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 2:55 p.m. CST

    Dead Man soundtrack

    by IWasInJuniorHighDickhead

    Neil Young, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, an organ and a motorbike. All you need for a stunning soundtrack. Lance Henriksen is like the devil personified in this. Only other film I get a similar vibe from is Fire Walk With Me.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 2:56 p.m. CST

    The new Conan

    by GQSioux

    Don't know why everyone is so ready to rip the new Conan. Saw it last week--it was surprisingly good. I only had a few minor nitpicks, but it's way closer the original Conan stories.

  • I had to watch Magnificent Seven to grow mine back after watching that hipster weenie-fest "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World."

  • The APES came through, and then some. Why cookie Rocket, indeed. What do we gain by having a shitty take on a beloved concept? Nothing. Sure, I have low expectations for the new CONAN, but I'm HOPING it'll at least be fun and engaging. Good or bad, the new one won't diminish the Milius masterpiece.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:14 p.m. CST

    but it's way closer the original Conan stories

    by Jaka

    That doesn't make it better, or more kick ass, hard core, beautiful, meaningful, moving, etc etc etc. <p> The first Conan is just a great fuckin' movie. It approaches perfect in regards to what it was trying to do. There was never any issue with how like or unlike it is compared to the books until casting for this new pile was announced. <p> And let me be clear, I hope the new movie is good. I really hope I like it, honestly. But as someone who has watched the first CtB at least 200 times since 1982 (not exaggerating), I can tell you just from the trailers that this movie does not have the same tone and production values. Those two things right there, the fact that you believed you were in Conan's world and that that world was fuckin' hard core, are a huge part of what make the original so damn good. Put the epic score on top of that and it didn't even matter that 75% of the movie contained no dialogue. <p> Its going to make me sound old (and I already feel it) but I just don't believe they make movies like the 1982 Conan anymore. Even the LOTR trilogy, which is hugely epic fantasy where all of New Zealand was used to convince you that world was real, still often feels like you're watching a movie. There's just so much that's different about what they do now with digital grading, lighting, post-production and CG effects. Whereas the 1982 Conan is dirty, hot and nasty. The gore is from exploding blood packs, not done in post. It really feels like Arnie is fighting in that pit, and that those dogs are going to catch his ass and eat him for dinner. King Osric and Thulsa Doom have like, four or five scenes TOTAL (often very small ones) and you still believe that those men could control huge numbers of people. When Doom explains to Conan the riddle of steel and then makes his acolyte jump... shit, there will not be anything that good in the new movie. I could go on and on and on about what makes the 82 Conan great, regardless of how perfectly it matches Howard's books, but I won't. My point is that maybe the new movie is closer to the books, maybe the new movies will be good, but it will NEVER be as good as the original. Never.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Beautifully put, jaka.


    Two whores for you!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:23 p.m. CST

    sadly I highly doubt Conan will be as good as Apes


    but maybe it will be surprisingly not shitty? Or even good? Holy hell, that Conan blu ray cover is God-awful. How do you slap on a terribly amateur design on top of that classic film? Wtf? Being a fantasy geek, I loved Your Highness. Even when the jokes fell flat I still had a smile on my face. I think it's a lot better than the trailer makes it look. Stakeland is worth checking out too imo. It's really well done and has a great sense of bleak realism. As Harry mentioned, no video game action scenes. Well, maybe 1.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:24 p.m. CST



    Yeah, I agree about that. APES was soooo fucking good. The best I think we can expect from CONAN is, "Hey, that was all right!" and a solid career from Momoa.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:28 p.m. CST

    But Momoa gets his rewards already..


    He gets to bang Denise Huxtable any time he wishes.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Momoa is with Lisa Bonet?!

    by Jaka

    How the shit did I not know that???! They even have a kid. Wow, I was definitely slow on that one.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:35 p.m. CST

    I've been quoting "Better Off Dead" since I was 6 years old

    by Kammich

    And some of its staple quotes still find their way into my regular vocal lexicon. Almost all of my exposure to movies as a youngin' came from my father--he didn't shield me from violence or language or nudity, he believed I should watch good, kickass movies. He raised me at a young age on a lot of genre classics like "Jaws," "American Werewolf in London," and "Escape from New York." But one of the first films he ever had me watch was "Better Off Dead." And it has always stuck with me. In a way, I think seeing the film at the age of 6 or 7 helped craft the weird, twisted sense of humor that I sport now. 15 years later, that film still kills me every time. for the record, I've had Jarmusch's "Dead Man" on my netflix instant queue for like 2 months. need to watch it.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 3:39 p.m. CST

    @ Ugg.

    by 3774

    It's not her fault that thing is stupidly designed.

  • It's strange because I am as obsessive a film fan as there is. Seriously, I believe my movie preoccupation borders on the pathological and I could be reasonably committed to a psych ward for evaluation. I bought the collectors edition DVD a few years back at Circuit City(remember them? yeah, it's been that long) but for some reason or another it's just kinda slipped through the cracks. I need to get on that pronto and I really hope it lives up to all the adoring hype it receives on theses boards because if it doesn't... I will kill you all.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 4:07 p.m. CST

    @ stargrove.

    by 3774

    It's less of an 'action' movie, and more of a somber, deliberately-paced novel that plays out in front of you. Don't expect an adrenaline charge, as much as a gritty, richly-textured painting in motion.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 4:13 p.m. CST

    The ending of Sands Of The Kalahari is something to see.

    by SnootyBoots

    Saw it years ago when I was a kid when TV stations used to have 4 PM after school movies. Wanted to see it again ever since, and not just for the ending.

  • Especially The Beasts Of Tarzan.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Deliberate pacing does not frighten me Sir.

    by Ted Knight

    Michael Bay be damned!!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 4:57 p.m. CST


    by 3774

    Then you are in for a treat, Ma'am!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 5:28 p.m. CST

    The Name of the Rose

    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    is a great movie. It's also one of the most accurate movies set in the Middle Ages ever made. Its also a great companion to the Umberto Eco novel it's based on - it sticks fairly closely to it even though it chops away a lot of the philosophy and history, which is about 2/3 of the novel, and for the most part focuses on the murder mystery. That stuff is all still there in the movie, but more in the background, relatively speaking. Annaud's commentary track is also very interesting; for those of you who wondered why F. Murray Abraham's career never took off after winning the Oscar for "Amadeus", the answer is right there.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Gee. I'm sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

    by Juggernaut125

    <p>One of the best delivered lines of comedy in my most favourite comedies of all time. I've always heard that Cusack hated that movie and has tried to distance himself from Better Off Dead ever since. Even so, I would kill to see a version of this with him and Savage Steve doing an audio commentary. I already own the DVD and if there are no extras on the blu-ray, then I can't really justify picking it up as well. It's not as if picture quality is as big a concern in comedies like this. But extras and audio commentaries would definitely give me a reason.</p> <p>I think I might pick up Fast Times and Dazed and Confused as well. Loved 'em both but never got around to picking them up before.</p>

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 5:44 p.m. CST


    by johnnyrandom

    ...go suck a fuck!

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Oh I like George Sanders

    by CherryValance

    That sounds like something I'll have to check out. I think my mom mentioned him being the Saint when Val's movie came out. I'll have to ask her.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:11 p.m. CST

    To this day...

    by MagicJesus

    I still whack it to Feebs getting out of the pool.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Speaking of whacking it...

    by MagicJesus

    The scene where Christian Slater gets pretty much gloriously raped by that hot, dirty village girl is also in my mental nostalgia file.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:53 p.m. CST

    I am getting sick of the "kinda" signifier in Harry's writing

    by D.Vader

    You can't "kinda love" something, and something can't be "just kinda amazing". Its becoming a habit in his writing, and habits seem to be hard for him to break.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:56 p.m. CST

    "Battle of Algiers" is not a documentary.

    by Raymond Shaw

    You might aswell say: "Conan the Barbarian" is probably the most applicable and telling documentary about why barbarism is a dying policy.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 8:57 p.m. CST

    Vades: 'Kinda,' as Harold uses it, is a hipster affectation


    from about 5 years ago.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:12 p.m. CST

    Rainn Wilson in Super...

    by workshed

    ...was super. A completely touching portrait of a total fuck-up. No butting! However, Battle of Algiers is the top of this pile.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 9:52 p.m. CST

    Magnificent Seven

    by Cat333

    Don't relegate Magnificent Seven to a male only club. This movie has been my all time favorite since I saw it as a young girl. I'm sixty. It has great performances, humor, fantastic music, a Western theme, and a good ending. What more could you want? It is a great movie. I already own a dvd copy of this. I was pondering buying the Blue Ray just today. It is a great movie. I would watch this any time it was (unfortunately edited for TV) on television, no matter whether it was past my bedtime. The funniest editing was in the opening sequence when Yul Brenner says, "Oh hell, if that is all that is holding things up...." and the station would bleep that mild cuss word. I think some stations were still bleeping that word into the nineties. Amazing.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 10:21 p.m. CST


    by 3774

    My grandmother loves that movie too! But i always attributed it to her weird crush on Yul Brenner. My boyfriend keeps trying to talk me into watching the t.v. series with him, but i'm not havin' it. Not until it gets recommended by someone else.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:28 p.m. CST

    It's pointless to compare the upcoming film to CTB.

    by TheLastCleric

    I inadvertently read the comic adaptation of the film thinking it was an original story and it bears no similarity in any way, shape or form to the Milius/Arnold film and rather follows the source material much more closely. Those of you claiming that this doesn’t matter might want to expand those narrow perceptions and consider that some of us - specifically those who love the original character and the expansive mythology that has been forged on Howard’s original premise – would like something more than a bodybuilder with broken English playing an originally nuanced and complicated character like a brutish simpleton. There are surely aspects of this film that I adore but there is nothing definitive about Arnold’s performance or Milius’ simplistic take on the character. For most people, Arnold is Conan and that reality alone is unfortunate. When the new film releases next week, the inevitable comparisons will be made and even if the film is good (or better than CTB) it will be derided as a remake and thus automatically inferior.

  • Aug. 9, 2011, 11:45 p.m. CST

    BLACK DYNAMITE CARTOON talks so dirty!

    by grandwiz

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 12:10 a.m. CST

    important 80s milestones

    by eloy

    ...for the uninitiated and for those already in on the joys of these transcendent flicks, as well. I already own better off dead and fast times, but it's certainly tempting to upgrade, although as someone wisely already stated before, it's really not like we treasure these comedies because of the visual perfection. Also in my collection is the Godfather bd trilogy so no worries there. I'm looking forward to the Conan double feature and the three Spy Kids, even though, yes, the third one is a piece of shit (and I dearly love both Stallone and Rodriguez). Choppah, I think I'd go for Superman 4, btw. At least it's got John Williams´s pinnacle of talent going for it, which takes me to the subject of composing geniuses and my simple, no-contest answer to the same: John Williams, always, all by himself in a league of his own.In descending order: Superman: The Movie, Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, E.T., Jaws, Jurassic Park, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. There are other great ones out there with great efforts (I really love Alan Silvestri's Predator, Back to the Future and Judge Dredd and Danny Elfman's Beetlejuice and, obviously, Batman) but there's no one who's ever produced such an astonishing large amount of unarguable classics like Williams has done so far. The runner-ups, for me, would be: Silvestri, Elfman, Shaiman, Kamen and Menken. And so many more who've come up with fewer but oh so golden successes: Donnagio, Badalamenti, Morricone, Giaccino, Zimmer (when he's not working for Bruckheimmer), Herrman, Newton Howard, Horner, and, for sure, Goldsmith and Poledouris. With some special kudos for the t.v. work from Elfman, Giaccino (his work was probably the one undisputed triumph from Lost), Clausen and the master Mike Post. If only the screen their talent got funneled into had been bigger.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 12:30 a.m. CST

    Just noticed Warner Archive finally has FLIGHT OF DRAGONS.

    by Dennis_Moore

    Anyone have it yet and can say whether or not the quality is better than the bootleg, or the VHS?

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 12:33 a.m. CST

    Harry's 'kinda' adjective

    by Juggernaut125

    I believe it's Harry's way of saying the movie is average at best but he likes it any way. Harry's problem is that everything has to be balls to the wall awesome or it's horribly craptastic. He just can't recognize a middle-ground when it comes to describing movies.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 1:02 a.m. CST


    by Jaka

    At one time I had read every Conan book, those by Howard and those by other writers. I own every single Conan comic book that's ever seen print in either physical or digital form (seriously, every single one, right up to this month). If that's your take on Conan, remove Arnold from the first CTB and what else is there that you dislike? Because as I said before, I want the new film to be good, but I have ZERO faith that its going to be as good as the original, even if Arnold wasn't in it.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 4:17 a.m. CST

    d.vader, totally agree...

    by Michael DA

    but not as annoying as the constant use of, "that said...". But at least this week, we didn't get a perv-tastic call to a "spankfest" type fetish review. There are some things I just don't want to know about some people.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 4:57 a.m. CST

    Hi there, Choppah!

    by SonOfChiba

    Deceptive fool”? Hardly, I was just trying to help out fellow AICN-ers. The audio problem on CTB has been reported all over the net. If copies are out there that are 100% then great, but don’t be making out every copy is. ME chopped? You chopped yourself, motherfucker.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 6:28 a.m. CST

    Damn I thought at first they were finally releasing Godfather SAGA on blu

    by fat_rancor_keeper

    Damn I thought at first they were finally releasing Godfather SAGA on blu....when I saw that split cover. Why can't they fucking do that? Why is there no demand for the expanded LOTREE style version of the 2 of the finest films in history? Coppola put the thing together himself! c'mon you fuckers release a properly remastered - The Godfather Trilogy: 1901–1980

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 6:32 a.m. CST

    When are we getting the Christina Lindberg bluray box set?

    by Spandau Belly

    Bring that on!

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 6:33 a.m. CST

    seeing Fabrizio get wacked in GF 2 is worth it alone!

    by fat_rancor_keeper


  • Aug. 10, 2011, 6:44 a.m. CST

    FLIGHT OF DRAGONS blu is incredible

    by wattos new hat

    bright, clear, colorful looks amazing.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 7:11 a.m. CST

    GODFATHER does not exist in this dojo

    by Cobra--Kai

    fat_rancor_keeper, agreed. The extended and chronological GODFATHER is the only way to fully appreciate the movies classic status. Yes and GODFATHER III is better made than 90% of the thrillers made today. Sumptuous cinematography, immaculate music and some barnstorming performances ('Just when I think i'm out - THEY. PULL. ME. BACK. IN!'). The final 30 minute opera sequence is a fitting end to the saga. sonofchiba, Choppah does occasionally chop himself. He keeps the pickled parts in a jar by the door.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 7:26 a.m. CST

    I always preferred Better Off Dead to Bueller

    by i_got_worms

    Appreciate I'm in the minority, but BOD is a great fucking film.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 8:43 a.m. CST

    canned dirty ape


    Harry cant drone on and on about the actual quality of the Blus cause 9 times out of 10 they go directly from his mailbox to his shelf or in a stack unopened and lost forever to time. Otherwise he wouldve said something about the DNR raping of Patton or the green tinting of FOTR or the audio in Conan Hes not really a fan of film but more of a hoarder.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 8:53 a.m. CST

    fat rancor keeper and cobes...sweet loving cobes..


    THE GODFATHER SAGA is an abomination. In theory it sounds like a good idea but played out it mutes the parallel rise of Michael and Vito. By starting out with Vito as a child and not the quiet badass patriarch that he is, it also lessens the impact of who he is.. and im sorry..the saga should always ALWAYS begin with I BELIEVE IN AMERICA... anything else is folly. Its like watching Memento backwards. Its like watching the Star Wars saga from Episode 1 to ruins Yoda for you. Btw..coppola signed off on the chronological saga cause he was trying to finance a film at the least we got APOCALYPSE NOW out of this fuck up..

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Girl in Conan Destroyer is a babe.

    by Knobules

    Its got that much goin for it.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 8:59 a.m. CST

    i got worms..


    better than Bueller? No fucking way. Actually its not better than any of the Hughes films. it might be funnier than some of those films, but BOD was shooting for straight up irreverent humor while The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles had touches of emotion and drama to them..they couldve happened. Shermer couldve existed. BOD aint even as good as Weird Science. That shit cracks me up..It's a shame what happened to Kelly LeBrock..damn shame.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 9:02 a.m. CST

    The REAL Top Release of the Past 2 Weeks is...

    by Zillamon51

    ... MST3K VS. GAMERA Five Gamera movies (GAMERA, GAMERA VS. BARUGON, GAMERA VS. GAOS, GAMERA VS. GUIRON, and GAMERA VS. ZIGRA) as riffed on by the crew of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000. All in a nifty tin case. Most peeps thought these episodes (considered some of the show's best) would never be officially released, but here they are. A must-have for fans of MST3K and / or Japanese monsters (which I suspect there may be a few of here).

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 9:16 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Choppah, I disagree! The first viewing of GODFATHER should be the theatrical - yes. But once you've had that experience, then the full saga with many extra deleted and extended scenes (remember there's a lot more than simply the prequel bits with De Niro), scenes that really add to the movie. The prequel scenes only add up to about 50 minutes or so... think of them as a prologue to the main tale rather than the start. 'I believe in America' is still where the real story begins.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 9:31 a.m. CST



    but the reordering of vito (deniro) and michaels stories and not having them juxtaposed is totally messes up the parallels and contrasts that coppola was initially trying to convey. in the SAGA you would just have vitos story play out and then michael's longer story play out..rather than seeing the rise of vito and fall of michael loses the tragedy of the situation here..

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 9:46 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Chop, I think perhaps you're overstating the parallels and contrasts in GODFATHER II between the two timelines. Rather than lose anything I think it actually improves both stories by seperating and extending them. Bit off topic but I recently saw a fan edit of REVENGE OF THE SITH which had altered the dual finale by totally excising the Emperor vs Yoda fight. The improved effect on the Anakin vs Obi Wan fight (which i'd never previously cared for) was incredible. Anyway back to Godfather 2, I'd also disagree that its about the rise of Vito and the fall of Michael. The finale actually sees Michael pwn his enemies (including reluctantly his own brother), and presumably expand his empire by even more $millions.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 10:05 a.m. CST

    cobes--but at what price!?!?


    Michael might have a vast empire but he is alone. He has nothing...just his minions. No Kay. His children are taken away. He kills his brother. you could even say he totally lost his humanity at that point. Side note on WHY Godfather Part III must be seen. The coda is vital to complete the saga. Some say that it shouldve ended with Michael alone in his thoughts thinking of the time before he went to war. His solitary death at then end shows that all the deeds he did in life, good and bad, he had nothing in the end.But we needed the loss of his daughter as the ultimate tragedy in Michael's life. He needed to pay for what he has done and the death of his daughter was the fitting tragedy. side side note...i would like to see that Obi-Wan/Anakin fight unaltered..i always like that and felt that the other fights diminished the true awesomeness of the main event.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 10:33 a.m. CST

    A little love for Destroyer....

    by Darth Macchio I do remember that one scene where they're attempting to steal the gem that allows them to open the cave that contains the horn, blah blah... They come out of the treasure room to find a whole set of guards waiting for them along with that old wizard. They begin to talk..Mako warning about Dagoth and the end of the world, the wizard calmly saying all will be well and controlled, etc, etc.. And Conan, perfectly, says "Enough talk!" and throws a dagger killing one of the guards and then all hell breaks loose... Probably the only truly great moment in that movie... There's also supposed to be a deleted scene of Sarah Douglas "seducing" the Dagoth statue which might make the purchase of that fliq worthwhile if it's included....

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Raymond Shaw


    is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 11 a.m. CST

    Sorry, Cobes.


    I'm not buying it. The point-counterpoint structure in GODFATHER II enriches the tragedy, and it was a lot trickier to pull off than simply laying everything out in chronological order. That it was so elegantly executed is a testament to Coppola's classical sense of tragedy and the great Walter Murch's skill in the editing booth. The extra scenes don't even really add that much. Sure, they're cool to see, but they're not necessary.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 11:02 a.m. CST

    As you can see, I'm quite insistent on this point.


    Don't fuck with THE GODFATHER II's structure. It is heresy in CHOPdom.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 11:05 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Chop, well the first film ends with the door being closed on Kay - so Michael being alone at the end of the 2nd film isn't really much different from where he was at the end of the first. The Corleone crime family is still strong. But I get what you're saying about his lost humanity - soulless eyes. If you want to see that fanedit (like most of them on this site they're very professionally cut with DVD quality pic and audio). Then have a look at the website below: They're pretty large files to download but the good ones are worth it. The REVENGE OF THE SITH edit is in the Star Wars section of the site and is called REVENGE OF THE SITH (SPECIAL EDITION) by Stankpac pictures. You can either watch them on your monitor or I personally burn them onto DVD to watch them from the comfort of the Dojo's sofa!

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 11:10 a.m. CST



    The door closing on Kay at the end of Part I and Michael sitting alone at the end of Part II are indeed quite different. In fact, Michael being left alone amid all those dead leaves is the logical progression from where we are left at the end of Part I. Michael is actually surrounded by loyal men when that door closes on Kay, demonstrating how he's shutting out love for the business. He pays for it at the end of II because he is COMPLETELY alone, in both the business and familial senses. His soul is as dead as those leaves.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 11:13 a.m. CST

    I hear the Dojo's sofa is quite comfy!


    I'll have to swing by for a whiskey or two some stormy and treacherous night. Thanks for the fanedit link.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Better Off Dead's Amanda Wyss (Beth)

    by oh_riginal

    The first blonde I found attractive when I was little. I credit her for my taste in cute women with blonde hair and great legs. (I first saw her in A Nightmare on Elm Street).

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 11:25 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Chop, the Dojo will break out the Johnnie Walker Blue for you and more... I dont know what kind of woman you like so I shall be sure to have one of every creed and color available for the choosing and the chopping. The sofa is comfy but the rugs aint called deep-shag for nothing. Haha!

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 11:26 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    macchio - that's one of the few moments in CONAN THE DESTROYER that has stayed with me. Plus I'd like to see that deleted scene too!

  • THE NAME OF THE ROSE is just one of the top best medieval movie ever made. EVER MADE! It's a great movie, regardless of genre. How in the bloody hell people could mistake it for anything else then the excelent movie that it is is beyond explanation!

  • Stop feeling guilty about loving CONAN THE BARBARIAN, people! Be proud of it! It is a great movie. And for those who disagree, the hell with them. I'm not going to say it has the best score for a movie ever made. But it is one of the top best. As for CONAN THE DESTROYER, fuck that shit. What a fucking terrible movie! In my mind, it doesn't exist! Just use it to make a double feature with RED SONYA and pretend it's not a Conan movie.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Cobes, CHOPPAH does not discriminate.


    Ladies of all shapes and sizes, creeds and colors have found their way into CHOPPAH's arms. THAT SAID, I've been on an Asian kick lately, but I'm starting to crave some ginger snaps. I'll bring the cigars.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST

    in defense of Conan the Destroyer

    by wattos new hat

    the movies' cinematography is excellent. it looks brilliant. the movie looks really fantasy and the camera shots are all gorious. this may have to do with the director Richard Fleischer, who was also nearing 70, but directed tora,tora,tora, soylent green and the vikings in his hay-day it has bad comedy and it's way more flashy type fantasy than the more bleak, dirty look of 'conan the barbarian' in comparison to CTB, CTD is inferior, but if you're just looking for a nice sword and sorcery movie to watch than it hits the spot red sonja's directed by the same guy and still looks pretty nice

  • She made a few afterward, including, "They Call Her One Eye", where she played Madeleine who Tarentino based Uma Thurman's Beatrix Kiddo role in the Kill Bill films on.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 3:03 p.m. CST

    I don't get the hate for the new Conan movie, either

    by Acquanetta

    Or the obvious attempt by this site to try and ignore it. It's a violent, R-rated action flick. It's even one clearly that uses cgi as a tool (along with actual locations and practical sets) as opposed to a lazy crutch. No, I don't expect it will be a great film, but that didn't stop fanboys from embracing Nu Image's equally bloody Rambo. Of course, I could understand if Milius had originated the character of Conan the Barbarian or if the new film were actually intended as a remake. But even that logic doesn't make any real sense. Fans have been open to remakes of equally sacred cows from the 80s (ie. Escape From New York) and have already accepted someone other than Arnold starring in Terminator and Predator films. Seriously, at what point did we decide that there should NEVER be any more films based on a character as popular and fascinating as Conan the Barbarian? (Nevermind the fact that we've never actually gotten a film portrayal that was based on the source material. It's a bit like saying, "I loved Roger Moore as Bond, so no one else should ever play him.") I just don't see how a potential string of gritty, violent action movies has been spun into a negative. Even if the new film turns out to be the modern day equivalent of a Cannon Films production- how hypocritical do you have to be as a fanboy to pretend that's a bad thing?

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 3:05 p.m. CST

    Three Amigos-Blu-Nov. 22nd

    by welcometothepartypal

    Rosita: I was thinking later, you could kiss me on the veranda. Dusty Bottoms: Lips would be fine.

  • Or if they had bothered to base the story on one of Howard's tales rather than a retread of Milius's revenge story (which isn't in the books, btw).

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 3:45 p.m. CST



    Thats good to hear! Now only if we could get a proper INNOCENT BLOOD Blu with OAR and special features.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Conan sucked

    by alienindisguise

    Arnold's not even believable as a mono syllabic idiot.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Won't be Momoa's fault...

    by Darth Macchio

    ..seriously. You may have some reservations on the probability of the new CtB being any good but I doubt it will be Momoa's fault. His role in Game of Thrones was fantastic - the fireside rant scene after the attempted assassination of Danerys gave me goosebumps and the guy was speaking in a fully made up language with subtitles!!!! The trailers seem to be a bit related to the Conan/Hyboria MMO atmosphere in the game moreso than what I recall from reading Howard (did you know he committed suicide at like 29 years old?). But the point of the revenge story is correct - not unlike the 'Dungeons & Dragons' horrible flops, there are literally hundreds of fantastic stories already in existence in these universes and yet they go with a completely new concept and new story. Why come up with some dragon wand nonsense and waste Jeremy Irons when you have such a rich and fantastic character in Drizz'zt Do'Urden? You barely even have to do any writing - get Salvatore to produce or co-produce and viola - a perfect, franchise ready and, if done well, purely kickass Dungeons & Dragons movie. Not to mention the fact of how it could so easily dip into the same social relevance issues as X-men and any "racial" type context! Same for Conan... Why go with the revenge retread when there is story after story from the Howard books themselves? I haven't read all of them but I have read a bit and they're all excellent and delightfully weird (and Conan is 100% badass and smart, fearing absolutely nothing but magic, without being oafish or thuggish and yes, not a gigantic, muscle bound giant either). But either way, I have great hope for this movie - if it works and does well, we could see more fantasy films and that's never a bad thing. Hopefully more of the Millius/Arnie types and less of the Kevin Sorbo types but time will have to do the telling...(whatever happened to Tia Carrera anyway?)

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 4:19 p.m. CST

    The Battle of Algiers ISN'T a documentary

    by melonman

    Fuck me - Harry can't even get the basics right

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 4:23 p.m. CST


    by Acquanetta

    "Conan the Barbarian" existed as both a title and phrase long before 1982. Not only was it one of the earliest books released of Howard's stories, but also the hugely popular Marvel comic line which ran from 1970 to 1993. So the idea that the Milius film somehow has exclusive claim to it is absurd. (...especially when the new film stars an actor who bears a strong resemblance to the Barry Windsor-Smith version found in the comic.) But as I said, the argument itself doesn't make any sense. There have been plenty of films that actually *were* direct remakes of beloved movies from the 1970s and 80s, and yet fanboys have been open to the concept for years. The idea that this one is offensive because it recycles a loose origin framework is equally silly. By that logic, Batman Begins could be considered a remake of Batman `89 or Rise of the Planet of the Apes as ripping off Conquest of the Planets of the Apes. Personally, I'm very fond of the original Conan the Barbarian film. I'm also fond of films like (Weissmuller's) Tarzan the Ape Man, (Rathbone's) Hound of the Baskervilles, (Connery's) Dr. No, and (Reeve's) Superman: The Movie. But that doesn't mean I feel subsequent portrayals are invalid or should never be attempted again. I agree with you that a direct adaptation would be preferable, but I'd be just as pleased with a film portrayal that was at least close to how the character was originally written. When you consider how many times this type of "source material" argument has been trotted out to justify a reboot or remake, it's surprising that fans would ignore it for a character as violent and interesting as Conan.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 4:38 p.m. CST

    Zen got cancelled because ...

    by Yer_Maw

    ... the head of the BBC decided they had too many 'male detectives' in their shows. True fact. And pathetic.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 4:42 p.m. CST

    It's called Conan The Barbarian because ...

    by Yer_Maw

    ... that's what the original Marvel comic was called. And the comic was how most people know/knew the character. We can go on about Howard all we like, but Conan The Barbarian and Savage Sword Of Conan were what revived those near-forgotten pulp stories in the first place. Most people I know still think of Conan as a comics character.

  • In 54, there was a collection of stories with that name. There are plenty of other names they could've given the movie. Call it Conan The Conquerer or something to distinguish it from the other film. I'll give it a chance because I'm a Conan nut... but the revenge story already tells me this isn't a true Conan anymore than Milius's was (which makes up for it by being an awesome movie in every other way). This is also by the director of Pathfinder, which was a terrible movie. And there's also the fact that every character in the trailers/ads can't even pronounce the central character's name. Who the fuck is "CONEN?" So yes, this deserves the bile being directed at it. Everything about it looks terrible. If it's not, I'll be the first to admit it.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 4:57 p.m. CST

    @ Zillamon51

    by 3774

    i still circulate the tapes. Keep the faith!

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 5:12 p.m. CST

    what happened to kelly le brock?

    by eloy

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 5:13 p.m. CST


    by Acquanetta

    I didn't claim Howard wrote a story titled "Conan the Barbarian". I said it was the title of "one of the earliest books released of Howard's stories". (In other words, the same collection of stories you yourself pointed out.) No, it won't be a faithful story adaptation, but the portrayal of Conan will at least be closer to Howard's creation. This Conan will be a formidable fighter at a young age who grows up to explore the world as a thief and pirate. By comparison, Arnold played a man raised in captivity who had to be given his fighting spirit, education, and even freedom. (The latter is so far removed from Howard's intent it's not even funny.) "there's also the fact that every character in the trailers/ads can't even pronounce the central character's name. Who the fuck is "CONEN?" "COnun" is the name of the character Robert E. Howard created. It's pronounced the same way everyone with that name is called (ie. Conan O'Brien; Sir Arthur Conan Doyle). It's also how Howard himself pronounced the name, although reportedly with a Texan drawl ("caw-nun"). The irony here being that the Milius film (and it's usage of "co-NAN") is the version that got the pronunciation wrong.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 5:35 p.m. CST

    New Conan Vs. Old

    by GQSioux

    To reply to a few of the posts above (and yes I alreasy saw the new Conan flick), I'm telling you now, the tones ARE different. That was the Marcus Nispel's intent from the get go. Nowhere did he say he was trying to outdo, trample on or remake Milius's film. And I'm fine with that. You gotta go in accepting that. The first Conan is great, but it's only a Conan movie by name alone. Comparing the new Conan to the old one, tone wise, is like comparing Braveheart to 300. The new one went for the latter, it's far more fantasy and sword and sorcery--and yes, closer to the source material. I just feel this new one is going to wrongly get slapped around as a remake, but it's not. It's a new interpretation of the source material. It's like arguing about The Thing (1951) and The Thing (1982)--totally different takes on the same source--you'll either prefer one or the other. You're also going to get a totally different Conan, both in look and performance. Arnold's, while more iconic, is a hulk who was great twirling his sword and making poses that would make Boris Vallejo proud. This new one, is more agile, stealth and animal-like, he's an instinctive killer--he's more than just a thief stealing jewels. In Milius's, Conan's rise to manhood and becoming a warrior is realized by turning a donkey wheel and some brutal pit fighting. In this new one, you get this feral kid (you've probably seen the snow sprint clip online) who is a killer from the get go and he's thrown into a pretty cool battle scene and he plays a role leading up to his father's death. And most of all, he's never a slave. And how he treats women is each film is drastically different. Having said that, he's not going to be a momma's boy or become a celibate homo mourning the death of a lost "love" in this new one. I know most of you disregard Conan the Destroyer, but his character turns down a hot virgin princess in that movie. Not this new Conan, he's a womanizer, gets what he wants and moves on. Today, comic fans get outraged over the slightest change to their beloved origin storylines, happens all the time. When John Milius did Conan, the internet didn't exist so any outcries regarding the liberties he made to the source material wouldn't have been instantly heard like they are today. Just because very little opposition was heard and the end result film ended up being good doesn't mean that all fans of the source material were pleased. You can't assume that. He changed so much of the mythos, regardless of the fact that his changes still resulted in a well-crafted, quality film. In the end yes, it did work, but you gotta respect the fact that there are some big Robert E. Howard fans (and fans of the comics) out there who, while they probably liked the Arnie film, never embraced it as a "true" Conan film. Trust me, I would have much rather had Milius’s King Conan script get greenlit over the new one, but that didn’t happen—time to move on. I felt that the new Conan delivered, despite its flaws, and I had a blast with it. It was a fun, R-rated barbarian flick and I’ll gladly take a sequel with Jason Momoa back.

  • But still, probably one of the all time best, based on a true, story movies.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 8:33 p.m. CST

    godfather saga vs godfather theatrical??

    by fat_rancor_keeper

    There's no need to have one and not have the other available to watch as an option. I LOVE the theatrical versions of the films. Those are the main features and best way to view them. But again, like LOTREE I would like to at least have the OPTION to view the other version of the saga in chronological order. It's a fun/interesting alternative....but nobody is saying those need to replace the theatricals. But the problem is the saga version was NEVER released on dvd and likely wont be released anytime soon on blu-ray. I don't understand why in this day and age and with the awesome amount of space blu-ray holds there is NO demand or mention of the godfather cuts online. Why take the time to package just parts 1 and 2 or have a zillionith re-release when you can give fans a great (DIFFERENT) alternative that hasn't been available on home-video since VHS! I bet many folks don't even know of the existence of those alternative edits. I know years ago they would show on tv, but it was rare. I haven't' seen them on tv in years. I can't be bothered hunting down godfather saga on some fucking bit torrent bullshit or dl'ing fan edits. It should be properly available in stores.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 9:23 p.m. CST

    MST3K Vs. Gamera

    by Mike Shear

    No mention of the best MST3K set that could possibly be released? Conan the Destroyer??? ok...

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 9:25 p.m. CST


    by Yer_Maw

    Just watched it. Yes, it's good, yes I liked it. But. How can one 'little' movie rip off another 'little' movie so completely without getting any kind of critical kicking for it? I mean, I knew going in that there would be similarities, but this is basically an uncredited remake of Defendor. Way too similar to be cool.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 10:32 p.m. CST


    by berserkrl

    I can't agree that the film of NAME OF THE ROSE complements the movie well -- unless completely shredding the central message of the book counts as complementing it.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 10:33 p.m. CST


    by berserkrl

    Duh, I meant "complements the book."

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 10:44 p.m. CST


    by Yer_Maw

    I meant I just watched Super. I changed the title after writing the post. Because I'm a twat.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Just saw The Name of the Rose the other day

    by Turingtestee

    I suspect the name is vagina. Spoiler . . . . the blind librarian eating the inked pages was great. Always surprised by Ron Perlman. Look forward to reading the book.

  • Aug. 11, 2011, 1:12 a.m. CST


    by TheHumanBeingAndFish

    That's why I said "complements", not "faithfully adapts". I'm not sure that it would've been really possible to faithfully adapt the novel.

  • Aug. 11, 2011, 4:16 a.m. CST

    Ya know what I like about Conan The Destroyer?

    by eveelcapitalist

    That hot little 16 year old number wearing next to nothing. Or was she 15? Who gives a shit, she got my motor running. Grace Jones wasn't bad either. But look, guys, you know the new Conan is gonna make The Destroyer look like fucking art. Admit it, you feel it in your fucking bones. I'll be willing to see it, you'll be willing to see it, but we all know it's gonna fucking suck. It can't possibly be better than Destroyer, it will be worse. But if it has hot nubile underage teen girls wearing next to nothing? I will give it boners up, baby!

  • Aug. 11, 2011, 8:33 a.m. CST

    so I rented STREETWALKIN' last night

    by Spandau Belly

    after seeing it here in Harry's column, I figured it would be my type of thing. It was okay, but mostly a poor man's VICE SQUAD.

  • Aug. 11, 2011, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Ugh it's so hard to read your crappy writing.

    by telepathos

    Especially when you use the "F" word 6 times per sentence. Yes, Yes I know I'm beating the petrified bones of a dead horse. I actually like Conan the Destroyer. It looks a lot better with Arnold having more experience in front of the camera

  • Aug. 11, 2011, 9:34 a.m. CST

    John Hughes films were overrated.

    by hst666

    They could be very funny, but contrary to Gen Xers feelings, they lacked depth. 16 Candles had some nice moments Breakfast club is about as two-dimensional as it getsl. Ferris Bueller was deeper than wither in its own subtle way. Better off Dead was funnier than every Hughes film other than Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

  • Aug. 11, 2011, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Name of the Rose

    by homer40

    This is a really cool movie. Think Sherlock Holmes played by Sean Connery in a dark ages monastery investigating a series of murders, then the Inquisition comes to town. The motive for the killings is an absurd, intellectual one. The film is one of those dark ages movies, like Excalibur, that really feels like the dark ages, not like a modern film set during the time period. I have to say that even though it is a great movie, you really owe it to yourself to read the great novel by Umberto Eco. This is one of those movies, like Catch 22, that work on their own merits, but just don't come close to the complexity and brilliance of the source material. Its a long book, but you know what, reading actually makes your brain work better, so it isn't a bad idea to tear yourself away from the tube once in a while. Eco's followup book, Foucault's Pendulum is also stunning, and a must read for Lost fans. I won't tell you why.

  • Aug. 11, 2011, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Christina Lindberg + Google image search = DAMN!!

    by The_guy_in_the_rated_R_movie

    Did not get past Wide Open on Harry's list.

  • Aug. 11, 2011, 11:05 p.m. CST

    What is best in life?

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    To crush the talkbackers... To see them banned before you... and to hear the lamentations of their collectable figurines.

  • Aug. 12, 2011, 12:45 a.m. CST


    by i_got_worms

    Agree with you 100%. And planes, trains and automobiles was Hughes best film by a mile imo. Now That WAS better than better off dead.

  • Aug. 12, 2011, 8:10 a.m. CST

    John Hughes

    by jawaburger

    I do love Planes, Trains and Automobiles, but let's not forget Uncle Buck. I just love me some Uncle Buck. That came off a little too gay.

  • Aug. 12, 2011, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Conan the Barbarian had Quiet Moments

    by Autodidact

    I love watching a movie you grew up with, but haven't seen for a while, and all you've remembered is the exciting parts. The quiet bits of those movies are awesome to rediscover. Like the "riddle of steel" scene between young Conan and his dad. Or the "Crom laughs at your god from his mountain" scene.

  • Aug. 12, 2011, 10:21 a.m. CST

    It threw me that Arnold was the villian in The Terminator

    by Turingtestee

    After seeing Conan first

  • Aug. 12, 2011, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Agreed Uncle Buck is just a great movie. IMDB quote=

    by welcometothepartypal

    [at a meeting with the assistant principal, who's got a big unsightly growth on her face] Anita: I'm Anita Hoargarth. Buck Russell: [Staring at it] I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buck "Wart" Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They'll call me that. "Melanoma Head's coming." I'm s... uncle! Maisy Russell's uncle! Can anyone tell me if the score to "Name of the Rose" fits the movie? I remember hating the score, but that was about 12 years ago. I was younger but just as horny.

  • Aug. 13, 2011, 1:48 a.m. CST

    CONAN THE BARBARIAN Blu-ray score has been mixed differently

    by justmyluck

    Received the disc last week and can confirm the choral elements of the mix have been subdued in comparison to the prior DVD's audio, and the soundtrack release. I doubt Universal will amend the issue, since there *is* choral chanting, but for some reason it's been toned down in many spots.

  • I'd enjoy a copy on Blu-ray.

  • Aug. 13, 2011, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Arnold's not even believable as a mono syllabic idiot

    by Jaka

    Interesting, because I have no memory (after having watched the movie a couple hundred times) of him being one in Conan The Barbarian. He has full conversations, most of them philosophical, with Subtai, the Witch, the Wizard, Thulsa Doom and Crom. In no way is he mono-syllabic in that movie. The movie as a whole is told largely through visuals and movement. As a whole it doesn't have a lot of dialogue. It didn't NEED a lot of dialogue because the imagery on screen was powerful and clear in it's intent (unlike so many quick edit, shaky cam blockbusters today). What Arnold does with his body language and facial expressions alone are better than anything he did for the rest of his career. And the lines he does have are delivered wonderfully because he hadn't become an action figure caricature yet. Anyway, blah, blah, blah... <p> Interesting stuff about the new movie from people who have seen it. Very much what I expected actually, and not what I wanted to hear. I do agree that whatever becomes of this its not Momoa's fault - pretty Hawaiin guy gotta eat and all that. I still think he was wrong for the part.

  • Aug. 14, 2011, 12:34 a.m. CST

    CAMP HELL ... omfg watching it is hell.

    by ReportAbuse

    Check out the IMDB ratings ... 3.6. I'm watching it right now (thank you redbox, that's $1.20 I won't be getting back). Lame t.v. movie stuff, almost something you'd expect to see on SyFy. It can't make up its mind whether it wants to be real horror or psychological mind-fuck. It needed to be either more clever, or more scary, or more funny ... SOMETHING. Instead its boring mediocrity and a mess of a plot that seems to always be setting up for something but there is NO PAYOFF. Waste of some good actors (Dana Delaney, Andrew McCarthy, Bruce Davison for chrissakes!) but it goes nowhere.

  • Aug. 14, 2011, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Most Americans

    by Granteralus

    "Most Americans are not aware that in countries around the world, their beloved television shows are often times adapted from our successful television shows." -Harry Ahem. Most Americans are also not aware that our beloved television shows are often times adapted from successful television shows in other countries around the world.

  • Aug. 14, 2011, 10:34 p.m. CST

    Conan made us men.

    by HarryBlackPotter

    When u watch it as a boy u see how cruel and shitty the world really is and that you cannot trust man nor woman nor beast. But steel. Steel you can trust. The film is not perfect, but then, perfection is something a film can only aspire towards like any peice of art, but with the Poldaris score and Oliver Stones insane script, it aims so very high and delivers such manly rewards it is akin to a rites of passage for any young geekling. An epic movie that will never let you down and is as trusty as cold fucking steel.

  • Aug. 15, 2011, 6:03 a.m. CST

    Zen should never have been cancelled

    by snappy

    And there's one reason why: Caterina Murino. That is all.

  • Aug. 15, 2011, 3:09 p.m. CST

    When I was a kid I saw every movie that came out.

    by UltraTron

    Everything. I knew it was all effects. I loved effects. If a movie had cussing I had already heard everything on the playground. If a movie had nudity I was too young to appreciate it. How did I turn out? I'm a billionaire hetero man of the world with a body like brad Pitt in Troy. How do you think I have time to write on this site? Today's parents have no fucking clue.

  • Aug. 17, 2011, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Fan edits are getting out of hand!

    by ZodNotGod

    The Yoda vs Emperor fight was my favorite. Why would anyone cut that out? Wait. Don't tell me. A fanboy who is a bitter, crybaby, doucher that thinks he knows whats best for Star Wars. Ok. Got it. Idiots.

  • Aug. 17, 2011, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Enough with the PC lecturing!@

    by ZodNotGod

    "Most Americans are not aware that in countries around the world, their beloved television shows are often times adapted from our successful television shows." -Harry Who gives a damn! Outside of the States, UK and maybe Canada, television sucks worse than anything. Try watching a Korean sit-com for 5 minutes and see if you don't want to end your life.