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Harry saw both COWBOYS & ALIENS today!


I haven’t been crazy sold on COWBOYS & ALIENS…  and the notion that this is the first sci-fi western drives me absolutely batty.   Shit, Gene Autry dealt with underground dwelling super science types in THE PHANTOM EMPIRE serial.   We had cowboys and vampires in CURSE OF THE UNDEAD – which has one of my all time fave vampire deaths btw.   Then you have the two kings of Genre Mash-ups concerning cowboys in the from of George Pal’s 7 FACES OF DR LAO, which brings mythological magic to the old west….  And then Ray Harryhausen’s VALLEY OF GWANGI which brings Cowboys and Dinosaurs together.   


I love these films.   I love shows like Brisco County Jr and Wild Wild West (not the film).   In fact when given my first chance at producing, the first thing I set about to do was a Western Mash-up – which put no less than about 6 genres together – and that Paul Dini made rock.   That’s a project I’ll never put down, but before I make it, there’s other things that need tending to.  


But suffice to say – I do like mashing up genres, breaking the rules and playing around with staid genres.   When we saw the first 30-40 minutes of COWBOYS & ALIENS at The Dirty Dozenth BUTT-NUMB-A-THON last year, I was hit with a combination of feelings about what I had seen.   Generally, I liked what I saw.   I thought the photography was incredibly sharp.   But the attack on the town just was pure shock & awe – and didn’t have enough character or charm to it.   Doing the attack at night with firelight definitely made it moody and mysterious, but it also made it seem a tad unimaginative.   Because dance club lasers from the sky just don’t inspire fear in my brain.   BUT – I loved the performances from Daniel Craig, Paul Dano, Adam Beach, Clancy Brown, Sam Rockwell & of course… Harrison Ford.   I also loved the vibe that radiated off of Daniel Craig.   He just had a “DO NOT FUCK WITH ME” streak a mile wide…  and everybody seems to smell it.  


I root for Jon Favreau films because I did get the honor of spending a bit of time working with him on our JOHN CARTER OF MARS adaptation at Paramount.   However, since that project got hobbled by an exec with apparent brain damage, Favreau and I haven’t had a whole lot of interactions.   On COWBOYS & ALIENS I stayed away and just kept waiting for a trailer to excite me.


What I got was a whole lot of the same.   It began to make me wonder if there wasn’t much to this flick.   No matter what, I was there opening day – and when I didn’t make the local press screening, that’s what I was left with.   The plan was to see it last night at midnight, but I had a conflict.   SO – 2pm at the Alamo South it was.


We attended with a pair of BNAT Dignitaries from the Pacific Northwest…  They’re Oregon Duck loving Geek Mormons – and they rule.   Since we got an appetizer & salad portion of the film at BNAT – we were determined to check this one out together.


The screening was packed.   Showing up slightly late meant that I was going to be sitting all the way over on the side against the far wall.   Been a while since I’ve been this radically off center for a screening.   Maybe that’s the secret, because while most of my associates in the online world have been disappointed to lukewarm on COWBOYS & ALIENS…   instead, I found it to be a fun flick.


I still dislike the Alien Tech design.   I’m just sick of the boring metallic moving parts alien tech.   I think blaming TRANSFORMERS is a good starting point, but I suppose it’s how the particular group of designers at a few FX houses, and a group of modern filmmakers that have signed up for the aesthetic…  but it just doesn’t seem “COOL” to my geek aesthetics.   NOW – I do think that if you pay attention to all the modern alien films – you could make an argument that they’re making a singular modern Hollywood alien mythology.   I don’t feel like making a concerted geek effort to outline it all, but it seems that ALIENS tend to shop for their tech from a handful of modern tech designers – and it just doesn’t feel fresh to my eyes.   BATTLESHIP is the latest to suffer from the clone treatment – and I’m starting to dial out.


And I don’t want to.


I love ALIENS and INVASIONS – I just want different aliens and different tech from film to film.  


NOW – that said.   I love the cowboys.   Love them to death.   The film didn’t necessarily need aliens.   Hell, had it just been a film about Daniel Craig losing his memory – having a bit of science fiction on his arm – and tracking down Ford’s missing gold whilst dealing with his old gang and neighboring hostile Indians…  well, that’d be dandy for me.   BUT – we had to have Aliens – and once we’re actually dealing with the ALIENS, I’m fully engaged.   They have some curious biology.   They seem to be a distant relative of some of the Thark designs that Favs oversaw, but overall physically very different.   But it was fun looking at them and seeing all their moving parts.  


I like that at the film’s heart, this is an abduction story.   I love that the aliens are here for resources and are actually doing something a bit more industrious than just destroying old west towns.   I love that my suspicions about Olivia Wilde’s character from all the way back at BNAT were true.   That said, I wish they’d been a bit more bold with her brief nudity…   a little more original CLASH OF THE TITANS boldness I say!  


What really sells me on this movie though isn’t the geeky tech or the fairly damn cool looking aliens…   it’s the characters and the people playing them and how Favreau shot them.


Clancy Brown’s MEACHAM, the town preacher that packs heat and has a bit of tough love going in him.   Every scene that Clancy has he steals from Ford and Craig and anyone else that happens to be in his way.   Maybe that’s because the Kurgan commands respect without question.   But it is how I look at it.


Paul Dano is a pitch perfect spoiled rotten brat of the town’s leading industry baron…   Harrison Ford’s his Dad – and man, if you thought for a  second he would be disappointed to have Shia as his kid.   Dano is just a worthless fuck-up.   A bully & ignorant.


Then there’s Adam Beach – who plays Dano’s best friend/overseer that’s supposed to keep him out of trouble, but when Dano disappears for a bit – he really steps up and shows he’s the responsible and respectful son that Ford wishes he always had.



Both of those actors are part of why Harrison Ford is so damn good in this film.   He’s being given something to really play off of.   Ford isn’t spectacular, but he’s really nice to see in a movie that I found this entertaining.   A lot of this film is Ford’s character waking up and realizing he’s not the fucking stud he used to be.   He’s being humbled beneath a power he doesn’t understand, the loss of his son into a night sky and genuinely needing the help of others to get done what he needs help getting done.   You get the idea this could be the first situation he couldn’t handle.   His best scene in the film concern’s Keith Carradine’s character’s grandson and a knife.   When he tells the boy the story of the knife, I really did get goosebumps and a smile.   I’d love old man Harrison telling little boy me any story about any weapon he happened to have upon him.   That I’m voyeuristically watching and imagining it take place in this film…  well it made me happy.


Keith Carradine is the Sheriff in town – and it’s nice to see one of the Younger gang rise to such civic responsibilities… well it again made me smile.   Keith is a damn fine actor and it’s great to see him on screen with such a great cast and production.


Sam Rockwell plays Doc, the saloon owner – and I love how he’s just constantly annoyed.   He’s like a big city guy that moved out West to find his fortune and found that he just sucks ass at everything the West has to offer.   He has a bit of a mouth on him.   He’s intelligent, but that gets you nothing in the West that was ruled with six-guns and sweat.   He’s lost his wife to the Aliens…   and I love that everyone has been slighted by these unseen fucks.


Olivia Wilde’s character will be the character that sends some people off the deep end, if they so choose.   That said, it’s the only rational explanation for her being in the Old West.   Thus I readily accept and move on.   But when she makes her grand re-introduction…  That would definitely get some Indian attention.   Fun stuff.


The film never quite kicks it into overdrive though.   I kept waiting for more cowboy tricks to thwart the alien bastards.   I really wanted to see some outrageous lasso-ing, more bulldogging, but over all the big battle provided a great deal of fun, but I did find myself losing track of some characters during that sequence.    While the larger force is doing battle though, it is what is going on with Daniel Craig that I was most focused upon.   I liked all that crazy stuff.   The Alien revenge story that’s in there.   It was just fun.   I didn’t fight it – although I was constantly aware in the last 30 minutes that it wasn’t derailing for me, because I was told by friends that it would.   It didn’t.  Perhaps it is because I was in rather desperate need to be entertained this afternoon.  


Often times, one’s reaction to a film is based on the attitude with which you walk into a theater.   I’d been notably unimpressed by the marketing on the film, other than Danger’s MONDO poster for the film.   But otherwise, I thought this would be a big disappointment for me.   Instead it is a fun genre mash up.   It isn’t better than the 4 other Western mash-ups in the opening paragraph of this review, but not much is.   Actually…  I do think it is better than CURSE OF THE UNDEAD, but just barely.   Of course my fave Western Mash-up was when the Enterprise command team ends up playing out the OK Corral story…   or Doc Brown & Marty McFly in BTTF3 – which I think I want to put on right now.   But this is a fun movie.   It could be sharper in almost every facet.  But it hit the right spot today.   Glad to have seen it.

Readers Talkback
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  • July 29, 2011, 9:02 p.m. CST

    Um Westworld?

    by ENIK REED

  • July 29, 2011, 9:02 p.m. CST

    Oblivion and Oblivion 2?

    by ENIK REED

  • July 29, 2011, 9:02 p.m. CST


    by ENIK REED

  • July 29, 2011, 9:04 p.m. CST

    Valley of Gwangi?

    by ENIK REED

  • July 29, 2011, 9:06 p.m. CST

    Have they really been billing it as the first???

    by ENIK REED

  • July 29, 2011, 9:10 p.m. CST

    So Harry's tomato is just this side of rotten

    by ironburl

    I think i just threw up in my mouth a little.

  • July 29, 2011, 9:13 p.m. CST

    Aw, dude, Westworld don't count.

    by FluffyUnbound

    A "sci-fi western" is a movie set in the Old West that incorporates sci-fi elements. Not a movie set in modern times (or future times) where a robot wears a cowboy costume.

  • July 29, 2011, 9:14 p.m. CST

    You might as well say that shitty Whedon show...

    by FluffyUnbound

    ...was a sci-fi western.

  • How wrong could I have been. A couple of months ago I thought Downey Jr. was crazy for backing out of this one.

  • July 29, 2011, 9:19 p.m. CST

    My dad really wants to see this

    by Kammich

    Like most, the advertising hasn't really grabbed me. And I like Favreau's kitschy earlier works("Elf," "Zathura") more than his big-spectacle stuff, so I was a bit reticent. But if the ol' man wants to spend a weekend afternoon watching Bond and Han Solo fight aliens, what kind of shithead son would I be to deny him that? (guess we'll just have to theater hop over to cap'n america once its over. cough)

  • That whole section was spot-on bro

  • July 29, 2011, 9:28 p.m. CST

    should have been called aliens vs. cowboys

    by mick vance

    why do the humans always gotta be the victim in these things? just cause those alien faggots can travel across the galaxy doesn't mean they can fight worth a damn. make em a bunch of limp wristed pansies that they really are. in fact, they should have just made aliens vs. cavemen. aliens come in trying to evolve man, and the cavemen bash their brains in with big fucking clubs. the sequel could be aliens vs. pirates, and not the goofy disney type pirates. i'm talking like in those captain morgan ads (only without the stupid jokes and skinny dipping from the plank shit).

  • July 29, 2011, 9:28 p.m. CST

    Yeah I was thinking Westworld too (spoilers)

    by CherryValance

    Anyhoo, I definitely didn't love COWBOYS & ALIENS. I kinda almost hated it. It's one of those times when you go, 'really? that's what they came up with?' It actually made me want to rewatch one of the Sharpe movies, starring Sean Bean, called SHARPE'S GOLD. Same weird 'what do these "people" have to do with Aztec gold?' vibe. But of course I like that better. I'm just sick of bug aliens. And the goal of this movie seemed to be lots of fight choreography. I couldn't give a rat's ass about that. I thought Daniel Craig really understood how to look and carry himself like a cowboy so I'm disappointed that it got wasted on fighting big bugs. Harrison Ford asked probably the best unanswered question of the movie paraphrasing 'What are they gonna do? Buy something?' Seriously, I'm still not sure I know what the point was. Why do they need to examine our weaknesses? Can't they just round us up with their pulley system while they take all the gold and then leave? I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just changing my mind about Favreau because I felt exactly the same way about IRON MAN 2. Both movies seem like such a waste to me. Anyway, now that I've thought of both Favreau and Sean Bean, I think I'll put on THE BIG EMPTY at bedtime.

  • July 29, 2011, 9:31 p.m. CST

    For once, I actually agree with everything Harry said.

    by Yelsaeb

    Cowboys and Aliens was definetly there, but only just. It was also wildly entertaining. The funnest movie of the year, besides Captain America. Harrison Ford is just amazing. He exists and he is Ford. He is awesome. As this man gets older, he gets cooler. That sums it up. Every moment with The Ford is incredibly. That knife story Harry mentioned is the greatest moment in the entire movie. You know why? I believed him. I never believe a single thing that is ever said in a movie, but I believed him when he told that story. Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig is the new Steve McQueen. 'Nuff said. The aliens. Again, I agree with Harry. The aliens themselves were awesome. The design of their tec and stuff wasn't. It was just generic alien stuff. I like how they were so unexplained and never called aliens. Why are they here? For the same reason the cowboys are: gold. Every one is fighting for the same thing, and I love that. Overall, I loved the movie. It's a sponge that has soaked up everything about the western genre, but then adds a little bit of aliens. It could've been much, much better, but I don't care. I loved it for what it is: awesome.

  • July 29, 2011, 9:33 p.m. CST

    Kammich - thank your dad for me.

    by Boborci

  • July 29, 2011, 9:36 p.m. CST

    "that said"

    by animas

    Just using that idiotic phrase once is annoying enough. It just epitomizes lack of effort in communication. What is a retard trying to accomplish when using "that said?" I just said something so now I'm going to write that I just said it? We know you said it. And if you are trying to show some sort of contrast of ideas, then dipshit is using it incorrectly anyway. Ever heard of the word "however" or "though?" You don't have to be pretentious to use English at a minimum coherent level.

  • July 29, 2011, 9:42 p.m. CST


    by yubnubrocks

    I said years ago, they should do a Predator movie set back in the old West. Would have been so good. Oh well.

  • July 29, 2011, 10:03 p.m. CST

    I thought the movie was great.

    by Conaw

    Best film of the summer. Right up there with Super 8 and X-Men First Class.

  • July 29, 2011, 10:18 p.m. CST

    Most lukewarm Harry review EVER.

    by Quake II

    This review makes me want to take a nap and pretend I saw the film instead of actually going. But the cast is awesome so I'll eventually go just to see Bond, Indy and Quorra mix it up onscreen.

  • July 29, 2011, 10:19 p.m. CST

    the movie was absolute trash

    by ryan

    the concept was fun, it probably started out well, but while they were in the progress of filming i could tell they knew they had a problem on their hands. look at all the fucking advertising favreau did on late shows and shit, it was so over the top. trailers on ever channel every five minutes. harrison was almost a miscast if you ask me.......aliens LAME

  • July 29, 2011, 10:25 p.m. CST

    Saw C&A and Cap. America for a double bill today..

    by zinc_chameleon

    and though Captain America had phenomenal set design and a great villain, I thought Cowboys & Aliens was the more daring and original of the two. Harrison Ford was just great; a real character arc. The alien creature design was not like Aliens (hard-shelled insects) or Predator (reptilian); instead it was very much the original Predator design of a huge frog-like creature. But, I'm a New Mexico fanatic, and I dare any film maker to make that state look better.

  • July 29, 2011, 10:43 p.m. CST

    Favs is a mediocre/journeyman director at best

    by FistOSalmon

    Sorry to say it cause I really like him as an actor and interviewer (his Harrison Ford interview for this movie was amazing), but the only movie he's directed that wasn't a complete mess tonally is Iron Man which succeeds almost solely on Downing's charm. Any other actor in that role and it doesn't work. Maybe if he took a greater hand in the writing of some of these bigger movies we'd see better results but with Orci and Kurtzman scripting? Forget it. How the FUCK these two hacks keep getting feature work, let alone $100+ million dollar tentpole movies is some sort of minor mystery with the horrendously scripted shit they turn out. Hell, the Trek reboot got by mostly on the casting and nostalgic callbacks that can't really carry it through repeat viewings and had Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-sized plot holes. tamethecunt has it straight, Knowles hated this movie. Also Harry? We all know you were working on John Carter 10 years ago, you remind us in any review that can be connected to it through seven degrees of Bacon. It's done, get over it, you're a movie site owner that had a few bones thrown to you back in the day for good press but the internets have moved on. I'm sure Nikki Finke has offers up the wazoo but hers will dry up eventually too.

  • July 29, 2011, 11 p.m. CST

    sometimes...a film maker should go back to 5mil dol movies

    by future help

    Favs best movie is Made and Elf. followed by IronMan1.

  • July 29, 2011, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Let's not forget...

    by MandrakeRoot

    ...the godawful Wild Wild West.

  • July 29, 2011, 11:23 p.m. CST

    Imagine if Robert Downey Jr. had stayed on this project

    by zillabeast

    For the record, I liked the movie. I thought Daniel Craig did a fine job as the quiet badass called for in the first act of the film, but he sorta lost me later on when he was called on to actually you know....speak. Woulda coulda shoulda. One thing is certain, I would have much rather seen RDJ in this instead of another boring Guy Ritchie Holmes movie.

  • Was struggling not to yawn at a few points. It just did nothing for me. For the record, I blame Favreau's rather stolid direction. Just very by-the-numbers, unfortunately.

  • July 29, 2011, 11:37 p.m. CST

    Don't forget "Billy The Kid Vs. Dracula"

    by MrStinger

    Though I desperately wish I could...

  • Even though it's had BOMB written all over it since day one, I was kinda pulling for this movie. But, man, its starting to sound like Ford's initial reaction to the script (I don't get it) was dead-on. Favreau can sure pull together some great casts, but his movies of late seem to break the old adage that directing is really all about casting. I get the feeling he might have some really great movies in him...MADE is pretty incredible in my opinion...but he might be taking the wrong path with these FX extravaganzas.

  • July 30, 2011, 12:23 a.m. CST

    Cowboys and Cliches. This movie SUCKED.

    by DrPain

    Talk about your fly by the numbers movie. And what's with all the damn aliens in today's films look the same?? You know, bugs with six arms. So disappointed with this movie it hurts. I even went in with lowered expectations and it couldn't even raise above them.

  • Oops, spoiler I guess. Still, not a single joke connected. No doubt the jokes were there...they just did not seem to work with the way these actors played their characters.

  • July 30, 2011, 12:35 a.m. CST


    by Hank Byrd

    Stop giving these directors over 100 million dollars to make films. Look at what they did with District 9 on a fraction of the budget. Less money means you actually have to write a fucking script and develop characters. If Bay had only been given 50 million to do transformers, it would have been a different film........wellllllll...maybe not.....

  • July 30, 2011, 12:41 a.m. CST

    Wild Wild West almost killed the steampunk genre

    by thelordofhell

    Ironically, the steampunk element was the only good shit in this shitfest of a shit movie

  • July 30, 2011, 1:35 a.m. CST

    I hate to hate on it but this was a weak film

    by Chuck_Chuckwalla

    It had a few good moments. But I should have waited for Netflix.

  • ;)

  • July 30, 2011, 1:42 a.m. CST

    Well said Harry...

    by Hank

    Saw this last night and I essentially agree with all of the points you made. Great engaging Western stuff, unfortunately pedestrian Alien stuff. They missed an opportunity to bring us something new on the sci-fi front and instead opted to take the flavor-of-the-month approach to the aliens and their technology. Still a fun watch and uber nice to have any new western material put out these days.

  • July 30, 2011, 2:12 a.m. CST

    It was pretty terrible. Didn't like it at all.


    My friend felt the same way. It brought nothing new to the table. It has no reason for existing. Mediocre western shoehorned into a lame and predictable sci-fi movie. Favreau is sooooooo overrated as a director. Downey Jr. did himself a huge favor by bailing on this. And, I'm not kidding, the best reaction of the night in the theater was for the trailer for the new Ben Stiller/Eddie Murphy movie. By far.

  • July 30, 2011, 2:14 a.m. CST

    braindrain/locke's back with a new handle?

    by Dennis_Moore

  • July 30, 2011, 3:16 a.m. CST

    stay away from anything written by Bob Orcunti and Alex Fucksman...

    by AllThosePowers

    ...hasn't anybody learnt anything from 'Transformers?' These WANKERS sit around playing with their pricks while you idiots give them your well-earned money for shitty, cliche heavy, embarrassing and cringing dialogue? I simply refuse to watch anything these WANKERS are involved with. Do you people not understand? let me tell it it to you straight - THESE FUCKING IDIOTS CAN'T WRITE, THEY CAN'T WRITE FOR SHIT, I MEAN HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO WRITE A TRANSFORMERS FILM? AND THEY FUCKED THAT RIGHT UP DIDN'T THEY. ANYBODY WHO WAS DISAPPOINTED AFTER THIS SHIT FEAST Cs&As DESERVED WHAT THEY GOT. I can honestly say I will not lose any sleep if they both dropped dead tomorrow, as far as I'm concerned, the MO of their departure or extinction ought to be as cruel, painful as possible, applying various torture devices to inflict maximum pain would be wonderful and I'll smile widely while listening to their excruciating, unbearable screams. Somebody should just terminate these fucking hacks, can't mother nature just open up a whole in the ground beneath them and rid the earth of such vile, worthless, hate inducing individuals? Just get rid of them

  • July 30, 2011, 3:29 a.m. CST

    screw this. when is Conan out?


  • It reminds me when i first saw INDIANA JONES AND THE LAME CRUSADE, and all the rationals i was inventing in my head, all the excuses i was inventing in my head to find the movie fun and good. And then realisation and reality came crashing down, that in fact, LAME CRUSADE is a bad lame movie, and that i had seen soemthingi couldn't believe could exist: a bad Indiana Jones movie. A terrible realization to come by to a 18 years old. But as they say, the truth will set you free. I rather have that realization then to continue deceiving myself. But it seems Harry is making a huge effort to keep deceiving himself he saw a good movie, when everything in him is teelling otherwise. I guess it's hurting Harry to realise that he has been wrong in betting on Team Orci/Kurtzman for all his years.

  • July 30, 2011, 3:30 a.m. CST



  • July 30, 2011, 3:33 a.m. CST

    this Cowboys and Aliens crap is so droll


    you guys should do something like this:

  • July 30, 2011, 3:39 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    Shouldn't you be blaming Orci and Kurtzman's shitty script instead?

  • The answer to this is testament to Harry's credibility

  • July 30, 2011, 5:33 a.m. CST

    Lukewarm receptions?!? hmmm, I "wonder" why.

    by Stalkeye

    The obvious two reasons are...well we all know as to why that is.

  • July 30, 2011, 6:19 a.m. CST

    In defense of Bob and Alex

    by DutchTreat

    I don't want to be the devil's advocate here (also not saying that Bob Orci and Alex Kurtzman are fallen angels living in the pits of hell), but blaming the Cowboys & Aliens script-problems solely on these scribes is unfair to say the least. Checking the film's IMDb listing will show you the film had eight screenwriters. And that's AFTER arbitration by the WGA (the most ridiculous process in the entire friggin' industry). Allegedly, this project was in development for 12+ years and went through countless rewrites, which means a LOT more than just eight writers. Orci and Kurtzman get most of the credit because they won arbitration (more $$$ buys you better lawyers who can definitely win the arbitration process for you), not necessarily because they put in most of the work.

  • I saw C&A last nite and really enjoyed it. In a summer mired in brain dead sci-fi/superhero shit I for one was pleasantly surprised by a SCI FI movie that had great acting/story/SFX.

  • July 30, 2011, 7:24 a.m. CST

    I wanted it to be more COWBOYS VS THE BLOB...

    by workshed

    ...if you get my drift. Or even something like Mothra would have been good... but the tech-alien thing doesn't impress or excite me in the least.

  • July 30, 2011, 7:38 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    Orcvi and Kurtzman won the artribration because most for their work is in th final script, that's how the arbitration works. This means that no matter nhow long the oproject existed and how many people wrote drafts, the final mvoie reflects the work done by Orci and Kurtzman. As such, Orci and Kurtzman deserves the most of the blame, and rightly so. And they can't faint "study pressure" as excuse because they are more then willing partners in that system. They are not victims of the system, they are the system.

  • July 30, 2011, 7:45 a.m. CST


    by AsimovLives

    I think it's possible to put the western in a Sf movie. But i don't think it's possible to put SF in a western, unless we are making some sort of steampunk story. I think it's easier to put a horror or supernatural mystical spin to a western because of all the indian and western superstition that people actually believed back then. I so could see a western in which a town would be terrorized by a vengeful windigo gone mad who was revenging on the usurpation of the lands from his one worshiper people, and evne going after the indians themselves because they let themselves being defeated and not defend the windigo's own turf. The story could put elements of tradition vs progress, superstition vs reason, christianism vs paganism vs humanism vs materialism. In the right hands, a western mash up could be rich material for a bad ass adventure movie filled with thoughful themes and interesting characterizations. Instead we have this stupid mash up of boring cliches older then the hills the indians used to lived on. Adn fuck's sakes, enough with this transformers-type aliens already. Mere 6 years of this and it already looks old and tired like hell. Is there only one person making alien designs in the whole of Holywood?

  • July 30, 2011, 8:06 a.m. CST

    One word:



  • July 30, 2011, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Cowboys Vs Orci

    by AsimovLives

  • July 30, 2011, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Yeah? Did you see any vampires and werewolves too?

    by Immortal_Fish

  • To be honest, I would have enjoyed seeing CAPTAIN AMERICA a third time...MORE than seeing COWBOYS & ALIENS for the very first time. It isn't that I hated the movie. It was just... okay. LOVED the Captain America flick (9 out of 10).

  • July 30, 2011, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Beaten by THE SMURFS -- Flop of 2011

    by Dursman2000

    SMURFS will finish #1 this weekend per DHD.

  • HAHAHAAAA! That exec is now probably hailed as a GENIUS for keeping your tubby, KFC grease soaked pathetic geekloser mitts off "John Carter". With you effed up addled goofball "taste" in films (considering the CRAP you've fawned over this year alone), it's a safe bet, even if the Disney version sux, it won't have the STANK of the crap you "loved" (ie: Green Lan-turd, CRAPtain America, Yawn: Legacy, Transformer 3 : More Useless Noise). I'm glad Hollywood finally realizes: GEEKS DON'T MATTER (except for mocking and giving wedgies to)!!! For all your internet whining and 5000 entry insult laden Talkbacks, you losers have zero taste in good populist films and you have Zero box office clout when it comes right down to it (see "Scott Pilgrim" for a GeekLove movie that bombed and caused some studios to skip Comic Con this year) or the geek hate for the "Twilight" flicks, which CRUSH pretty much every fanloser fave short of Harry Potter at the box office. Geeks have taken their rightful place (below film critics) in the pecking order of who Hollywood cares and should care about. And THAT is a wonderful thing.

  • July 30, 2011, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Galaxy Rangers is the best Sci-FI / Western

    by wattos new hat

    not western/sci fi though.

  • July 30, 2011, 10:25 a.m. CST


    by dead youngling

  • July 30, 2011, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Serenity/Firefly is still my fav sci-fi/western

    by DementedCaver

    nuff said

  • July 30, 2011, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Timerider was better

    by MattHooper

    Cowboys & Aliens was a very unimaginative, derivative, and badly conceived story. TIMERIDER was much, much better.

  • July 30, 2011, 11:57 a.m. CST

    NOW – that said.

    by ThatEndDown

    How is it that at no point after typing that out did you stop and think to yourself, "Wait, that's not even a sentence"? If any of your "reviews" were ever handed to an editor, they would probably blow their brains out after reading.

  • July 30, 2011, 12:08 p.m. CST

    TIME TUNNEL also did Cowboys & Aliens

    by TinkerTIW

    and it was lame back then. If I see this it's totally due to Daniel Craig, but... the more clips I see the less I'm inclined to go. (Can't believe it came in #2 at the box office Friday to the freakin' Smurfs. If it doesn't win the weekend that's got to be embarrassing to a shitload of A-listers - on both sides of the camera.)

  • July 30, 2011, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Favreau is an overrated director

    by Ash Talon

    I didn't bat an eye when they said Favreau was replaced as director for Iron Man 3. I find his work to be wholly uninspired. Yes, he directed Iron Man 1, but it succeeds largely on Downey's shoulders and the actual Iron Man suit. Favreau brings little style to his films. They're all so...average and workmanlike. <P> At no point in the announcement and progression of Cowboys & Aliens to the screen was I interested in seeing it. Nothing looked appealing about it. <P> I'd much rather have seen a Predator movie set in the Old West. That franchise would thrive on some time mash-ups. Old West. Dark Ages. US Revolutionary War. All great times for a Predator to show up.

  • July 30, 2011, 12:52 p.m. CST

    asimov... nope

    by Mattman

    I blame Favreau for not making the movie visually interesting or giving it any kind of energy. The movie felt lifeless. The script would have been serviceable in another director's hands. I'm starting to think Favreau got lucky with Iron Man.

  • July 30, 2011, 1:28 p.m. CST

    The Sprout Channel is the new marketing superpower of 2011.

    by FluffyUnbound

    Well, eff that then," my five year old replied. "I hate commies.

  • July 30, 2011, 1:28 p.m. CST


    by FluffyUnbound


  • July 30, 2011, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Except this isn't a blow to "fangeeks", Genderbender

    by Mattman

    I don't think your fangeeks actually cared whether this crashed and burned or not. Nice try, though.

  • July 30, 2011, 2:29 p.m. CST

    I'm glad you finally got a "bomb" to rave about

    by Mattman

    None of the Marvel movies worked out for you. Guess you'll have to take what you can get. :)

  • July 30, 2011, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford starpower?

    by krabklaw

    The problem was that they needed at least one A-lister for a movie with this kind of budget. When Downey bailed on this they settled for Craig- bad move! Craig's sole claim to fame is playing Bond for that pre-sold franchise, and Ford, while a geek fave, hasn't had a hit in years outside of the Indiana Jones movie.

  • July 30, 2011, 3:01 p.m. CST


    by Bill Brasky

    Just sayin. Harry gotta eat. Seriously.

  • July 30, 2011, 3:14 p.m. CST

    smurfin smurfs!

    by Boborci

  • I like how Fav was backpeddleing on Howard Stern- saying how the movie wasn't going to make much because it's too weird for people - yeah, people can't handle this, you've gotten too Rod Serling for most. The studio sunk 180 MILLION into this (Favs said it was 163) and now they predict it will open at 40. Orci and Kurtzman strike again.

  • Cowboys & Aliens is not a geek movie for me. It's a cynical exploitation shitfiest made by cynical hacks and a studio who doesn't give a shit. That's what Cowboys & Aliens really is. This is no geek movie. I don't rate box office as an important factor in how i perceive a movie. But i always love to see a dumb ass blockbuster shitfuck get blasted at he box office and fail miserably. Shitfiests like that failing at the box office always brings me a smile to my face.

  • I genuflect before your redoubtable geekiness.

  • July 30, 2011, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Asimovlives -not cynical, But maybe ot geek either

    by Boborci

    We wanted to make a true western, and used aliens to fill in for the parts of the true western that would not be palatable today.

  • July 30, 2011, 3:44 p.m. CST

    Looks awesome!

    by Jake Pantlin

    Fuck the naysayers. I'm seeing this movie tonight. Looks awesome!

  • July 30, 2011, 4:29 p.m. CST

    No freebie Harry?

    by ChickenStu

    No model of the alien ship? No free cowboy hat? You lost all cred when you sucked Green Lantern's cock, and we KNOW you got a replica ring out of that. So forgive me if your opinion is one I no longer respect.

  • July 30, 2011, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Worst casting since Michael Keaton as Batman.

    by Tera Sanders

  • July 30, 2011, 5:37 p.m. CST


    by mukhtabi

    Intriguing idea that, maybe I will see this film once I pay all my bills. Thinking of doing an alien double feature and watching Attack The Block as well

  • I saw the movie for free and one thing it reminded me of was LAZERBLAST - remember that chessy film where some kid gets a laser rifle on his arm. Not a good movie, but much more honest than this crappy thing.

  • July 30, 2011, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Not particularly shocking that this failed.

    by Anthrax

    I don't really see how this could be considered a victory for the anti-geek crowd. I'm pretty sure everybody saw this bomb coming. It's not going to change the amount of 'fangeek fantasia' (what a terrible name) content that will get released in the least. For over thirty years now, Hollywood has inundated us with tons of Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror/Action material. Most of it is average at best, and then there are the handfuls of true gems that we as fans get to latch on to. That hasn't changed at all. Geek material is here to stay, and has been since Star Wars and 2001. Saying otherwise is foolish. Why anti-geeks would want to come to a website that has, since its inception, always catered to geeks, and the things that would interest them, is beyond me. Then again, I never really got why people who hated Howard Stern listened to every second of every broadcast every day, almost religiously, either.

  • Enjoy Transformers 4d and Pirates 5d next year. Nice priorities the apparent film geeks have here.

  • How rpesumptious this Holywood people are that they can tell, fro sure, what is the things that audiences today find and do not find palatable. How dare they! The gall! The arrogance! Unbelievable! Hey, Hoylwood boy: what if you, instead of worring about whatever you think is palatable or not, instead you would actually spent your time MAKING A REALLY GOOD STORY. No bulslhit about what audiences find palatable or not, just MAKE A GOOD STORY. Just tha,t spent all your to make a good story. Forget all that bullshit abotu what audiences find palatable or not, because you Holywood boys always are wrong about that. Stop that horrible stupid arrogance. You know what audiences find palatable: A DAMN GOOD HONEST STORY. Youy know what audiences also like? To not be treated like morons. About time you hoylwood boys start doing that as well. Stop secopnd guessing the audiences and start worry about the only thingyou should worry: MAKE GOOD STORIES. That's it. It's that simple.

  • The secret of that movie? Great cast, great story, an honest and intelligent marketing, and filmmakers who don't treat the audiences like they are morons. Unlike what Orci and pals do. You heard that, Orci? Stop treating audiences as if they are morons. How hard can that be, Holywood boy?

  • July 30, 2011, 6:09 p.m. CST

    3:10 to Yuma (the remake) is such an awesome movie

    by Mattman

    After Cowboys & Aliens, I had to cleanse my palate with a real western.

  • July 30, 2011, 6:12 p.m. CST

    Gotta agree with Asi on this one

    by Mattman

    True Grit proves that people will see a good old fashioned western provided you create intriguing, entertaining characters.

  • July 30, 2011, 6:19 p.m. CST

    True Grit was a remake

    by seasider

    albeit a very good remake and it was also released late in the year. I have my doubts that it would've done as well if it had come out in July. The Western is just a hit and miss genre with today's audience.

  • July 30, 2011, 6:52 p.m. CST

    Can't wait to see this one!

    by kim

    Going tomorrow, have been waiting months and months to see this. Even as a rabid action flick chick...I don't care if this is a tepid story/action adventure. I'm going strictly for the big screen eye candy of Craig and Ford. So my pre-review will read exactly as my post-review word...YUM! btw--saw Capt'n A...a great flick all around. Love retro setting movies, ala Rocketeer.

  • July 30, 2011, 7:01 p.m. CST

    You're remiss

    by kim

    Craig's been a big UK star for years--he's doen far more than just Bond--you chshould check out some of his other roles. You're also forgetting the female demographic. Not every movie attendee's a pre-pubescent boy hoping to glimpse Megan Fox (puke). I'm going to go see this EXACTLY for the very reason you dismiss this movie.

  • July 30, 2011, 7:18 p.m. CST

    the secret of True Grit? Hype and Over-Hype


    facking overrated film.

  • July 30, 2011, 7:31 p.m. CST

    of course people want to see westerns


    just not lame western sci-fi's with a shitty trailer that shows lame characters/dialogue and unexciting action scenes This movie COULD have been a huge success. Lots of people anticipated it to do great.

  • what a great movie. god. if The Wolverine is as good as 310 to Yuma then we are in for a great movie.

  • July 30, 2011, 9:45 p.m. CST

    Meh... I had a feeling it would be crap.

    by Triple_J_72

    Sorry, Harrison... I love ya, man, but I'll wait for this one to come to the Dish. I don't feel like eating a 5-dollar bag of popcorn this week.

  • July 30, 2011, 10:24 p.m. CST

    Olivia Wilde is hot!

    by Orion

    The only reason to see this wild, wild west rip off.

  • July 30, 2011, 11:26 p.m. CST


    by jbinminot

    the problem is Cowboys and Aliens isn't all that original. It had more cliches than I could count on all my fingers and toes. I can't believe the screenplay had 6 writers.

  • July 30, 2011, 11:52 p.m. CST

    A mediocre movie is mediocre regardless of genre

    by leo54304

  • How many producers and exec producers are there? How many screenplay adapters and writers are there? Too many, let's focus people. Would have been a better film if they just had Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig, and Sam Rockwell stand back, to back, to back kicking alien ass. And Favearu's shit is starting to stink. He's a mediocre director at best.

  • Sometimes life throws a curve ball. Thank you Harry and my fellow talkbackers. Simply, thank you. Over these past few years, though not nearly as much in recent years, I've tried to make my opinion known, mostly in how Hollywood can best interpret superhero fantasy. Here at AICN, I had expressed that...even as a boy, I could see in my mind's eye how comic book sequential art could be realized as film, and foresaw serious interpretations of Batman (with the right costume materials, etc.) and THE AVENGERS, long before the current reality of today. Next year will bring us THE DARK KNIGHT RISES and THE AVENGERS. With this likely being my final entry, allow me to say that...although there aren't many things I am good at in life, I seriously believe I would have been a great movie director (with mostly a focus on sci-fi and superhero fantasy). With that being said, I want to leave Warner Bros. with my advice concerning my personal favorite fictional character, Batman. Christopher Nolan has increased the FEELING of plausibility for Batman, which has lifted the genre to new heights (arguably). Even so, there is still room for improvement. For one, Batman's costume design has the potential to BOTH function AND LOOK FREAKIN' COOL, so the design department could use some help. As to what happens with the Batman franchise AFTER Nolan's THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, that's anyone's guess. But if there is a future REBOOT in the works, I suggest they start with the genius of Bruce Wayne. He is the Hannibal Lector of superheroes, in the sense that his mind is his most powerful asset. And if you know where to look, you can find the right source material (to pull from) at DC Comics. I can only dream of taking control of the Batman franchise for Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros. But I can rest in knowing that Hollywood has built upon lessons learned, and that the superhero genre still has room to grow. Once Batman has again returned to the control of truly gifted people and has the WB support to make a unique vision become a reality, who knows? Given the knowledge & history gained from both success and failure, I remain somewhat optimistic. With THE AVENGERS, I have faith in Joss Whedon...outside of his need for help in specific areas, such as choreography and camera movement. Hopefully there will be storyboards a plenty, with talent support to help to orchestrate action on a grand scale, perhaps inspired by great examples of action (like RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK and James Cameron's ALIENS/T2/AVATAR). With the right help and Marvel behind it (and a great musical score to elevate the action and mood), THE AVENGERS could possibly turn out to be a dream come true. Again, I remain optimistic. Thanks again to Harry and company, for providing this service to geeks like myself. Take care, everyone. It has been quite a ride. - JDanielP

  • would almost have this movie. C & A looks like fun anyways.

  • Audiences are fickle, there's no certainties about which movie will bomb or will be a huge sucess, and it's good that Hoylwood start realises they are in high stakes business and nothing is for certain. They can't turn this into an exact science, because it's not. All their worries should be to make the best movie possible and then let the chips fall where they may. Because filmmaking and the film business is a high stakes business. Nothing is certain.

  • July 31, 2011, 4:07 a.m. CST

    per professor_monster: LASERBLAST is on 'instant' at Netflix

    by bruce

  • July 31, 2011, 8:37 a.m. CST

    If this were a budget thingy by a first timer...

    by Arteska would be going berserk for it but because of all the names involved everyone has a license to be pissy and throw lots of their self loathing baggage around. Most of the movie works pretty well and as a genre exercise is better than adequate. I agree it's missing some drive as it goes but it's hardly deserving of the amount of disdain being heaped on it. Harry's review is honest and accurate.

  • July 31, 2011, 9:57 a.m. CST

    The last 30 minutes saved it... almost...

    by jimmy_009

    I was seriously getting bored up till then. The flying through the canyon set piece was not up to par, the pacing was slow, the humor was barely there, and as worried, it wasn't much fun. In the last 30 minutes it came alive, if only just barely. Oh yeah, and the aliens... so uninspired and dull. Whatever happened to memorable aliens like Alien, Predator, Galaxy Quest... are character designers are so obsessed with making aliens believable they're forgetting to make them -interesting-.

  • July 31, 2011, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Damn right it's original, Alives

    by FluffyUnbound

    It's not an adaptation of a book, comic book, or graphic novel. It's not a sequel. It's not a remake. It's not a reboot. In Hollywood in 2011, that makes it OOOOOO-RIG-AHHHHH-NAL.

  • July 31, 2011, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Is a mediocre movie mediocre regardless of genre?

    by FluffyUnbound

    Not really. THE OMEGA MAN is highly mediocre when you get right down to it. But it's got Charlton Heston as the last man on earth driving through a deserted LA firing a submachine gun at mutants. So it's awesome. COWBOYS AND ALIENS is hardly in that category, but let's not pretend that the bar isn't a LOT lower for genre films than it is for any other kind of film.

  • July 31, 2011, 10:34 a.m. CST

    boborci talks like a marketing manager

    by YackBacker

    And he writes scripts like one as well. Sometimes his crap sells, sometimes it fails.

  • July 31, 2011, 10:44 a.m. CST

    it's a fair lukewarm review for a lukewarm movie

    by hippolyta

    I think seeing the first 45 min at BNAT might have set this up to fail for me. There was a lot to cheer in the first Act and it just didn't continue into the final Act. Part of it was Paul Dano wasn't seen again and Harrison Ford got soft. It made sense for his character, but I still wanted to see Ford as a bad guy.

  • July 31, 2011, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Glad to have seen it.

    by Subtitles_Off

    Please, still be my friend.

  • Conspiracy is a man of his word... But my expectations are lower after reading some TB opinions than when we were getting early reviews. If it doesn't totally suck on my $12.50 I'll be "ok" with it. But I'm still waiting for a 2011 movie that makes you go "Fuuuuuuuck!!!!!"

  • July 31, 2011, 1:17 p.m. CST


    by the Green Gargantua

    because directors are not willing to take creative risks with their projects. However, I did find the "Prawns" from District 9 pretty unique.

  • July 31, 2011, 1:26 p.m. CST

    'its comic book origins likely kept the general public away'

    by Mattman

    That comment doesn't really make sense, given that the general public didn't even know it was based on a comic book. Hell, I didn't even know until recently.

  • July 31, 2011, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Conspiracy - thanks!

    by Boborci

  • July 31, 2011, 2:44 p.m. CST


    by Trannyformers_Apologist

    The Island" ripped off "Parts: The Clonus Horror

  • July 31, 2011, 2:45 p.m. CST


    by Trannyformers_Apologist

    Star Trek XI ripped off Star Wars

  • July 31, 2011, 2:47 p.m. CST


    by Trannyformers_Apologist

    "The Island" looks so much like 1979's "Clonus," aka "Parts: The Clonus Horror" that its director says he may seek a federal injunction to stop "The Island's" distribution. SIMILARITIES TO PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR:

  • July 31, 2011, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Tranny, that's old news

    by Mattman

    The makers of Clonus already reached a secret settlement with Dreamworks and probably made more money off their movie than ever before.

  • July 31, 2011, 2:54 p.m. CST


    by Trannyformers_Apologist

    Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is TIME Worst Summer Blockbusters Of All Time.,28804,2084801_2084599_2084600,00.html

  • July 31, 2011, 3 p.m. CST

    Tranny - never saw clonus horro

    by Boborci

    Original screenplay was a spec bought by dw long before we came aboard as doctors.

  • July 31, 2011, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Frankly, Star Trek needed a little Star Wars in it

    by Mattman

    Especially in setting up Kirk. (Then again, I've always preferred Star Wars... so I'm probably biased)

  • July 31, 2011, 5:23 p.m. CST

    This movie was fucking LUKEWARM

    by doom master

    All the reason to spit it from my MOUTH. What a droll piece of boring bland ass SHIT.

  • July 31, 2011, 7 p.m. CST

    Straight VS Dry (SPOILERS)

    by JimBobCooter

    I think the problem was that Jon Favreau and producers were obsessed with making a straightforward, no winking at the camera Western. But with aliens. And in hindsight, the tone should've been Indiana Jones, not a Western (there was ONE LINE in the entire C&A that I laughed at.) Indiana Jones has peril but also a hilarious moments. And bickering leads. And sexual tension. This had nothing. And I wish I could tell all Hollywood scribes that a character arc DOES NOT make a character. So many times they just neglect dialogue and real moments with tacked on "arcs." Harrison Ford trusting his son at the end. Why?! There's no evidence the son changed. But the producers just thought he needed a clean arc. Same with Doc hating the West and not being able to shoot. UNTIL the only time we see his shot hit something happens to be a difficult shot to save the day. He has an arc! Great character, right? Wrong. And he's named Doc bc apparently he's the only man qualified to put his finger on a pulse and shake his head sadly that they're dead. And I don't mind the twist of Olivia Wilde. I mind that it's telegraphed from the second she stares otherworldly at Daniel Craig for TWO MINUTES - the first time we meet her. And what were her powers exactly? She died, but can heal, but her new body didn't get burned again by fire? Or the fire burned off an old shell? You have to give the audience something. Otherwise the plot devices are just that. Plot devices. Why did they turn Daniel's wife to ash but no one else? Plot device. Anyway, the end. Bob, if you're reading, you and your partner are GENIUSES at set-ups and really interesting ways to get into stories. But you neglect your characters and the purity of your set-ups by just trying to get to the end. We have faith in you guys. And it's impossible to have a script completely survive a filming process in tact. But you are executive producers now. Your films are your legacy. Make them great instead of just blueprints that might or might not be made better by directors. :-)

  • July 31, 2011, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Asimov... consider this a friendly CHOP


    After all the obscenities and insults, you haven't made a dent on Orci. Engage the man with some questions or suggestions. Man up and stop screaming like a child who got his lolly taken away. Take two CHOPS and call me in the morning.

  • July 31, 2011, 8:10 p.m. CST

    Hell of a lot better than that P.O.S. TF3

    by M.F. Cauley

    Saw this today, you must of been having a bad day.

  • Can we now put to bed the myth that ANYONE approaches early Spielberg? Harrison Ford must've been chaking his head on set, thinking "Steven made it look so easy..." Also, Hollywood seriously has to move on from the Cloverfield alien design. MAN am I sick of these extra-limbed, slimy, bug-eyed ciphers with pulsing facial sacs... Look to the classics! ET, Alien, The Thing, Predator... not only were they all wildly different, they were without exception practical effects. If people could harness such creativity with just latex and imagination, why can't the omnipotent wizards of CGI do the same?

  • July 31, 2011, 9:58 p.m. CST

    who knew a western or alien movie...

    by cobb

    ...could have so many meaningless, boring subplots? Come on Han Solo, you didn't need the Indian dude who wishes he was your son, your own real son, the whole Indian chief macho bullshit and the other little kid with the special knife now-be-a-man thing did you? Jesus Christ it's a wonder he had time to even have a scene with Craig. I wonder how much of it was Ford trying to flesh his character out? Can't you see him making all these subplots up thinking it would make such a layered character? Hell, forget him being a cattle man, why not just make him a gold baron who is slowly cutting the town off from their claims, like Hearst from Deadwood? Gives him a helluva more vested interest than being a cattle dude, not to mention how important he might've been at the end. Ah who cares, there's so many baffling decisions in this fucked up flick it's not even worth daydreaming about how it coulda been salvaged...

  • July 31, 2011, 10:01 p.m. CST

    PS Indiana Jones & James Bond tied at BO by Smurfs?

    by cobb

    Now THIS is pod racing!

  • It's like saying the Godfather is not original because it's based on a book. Are we really playing semantics here? It's an a original movie. But again, this is the site that said Transformers 3 was a third-times-the-charm sort a thing. Expect more movies based on 80's TV shows. Expect more sequels and remakes. You may not have liked C&A (As if most of you have even seen it) but to be happy it failed? Please, continue to tell the studios NOT to take any risks. Just stop asking for something different when you're not even going to support it.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 12:11 a.m. CST

    joecobb (SPOILER)

    by JimBobCooter

    I agree. First shot we see Harrison torturing his own guy to get info. He is ruthless and greedy. Then he finds the man who stole his gold and hurt his son, the most offensive actions ever... And then... nothing. No tension, no anything. One punch and he lets him walk away. He's racist, but that's about it. And Paul Dano was great. But the role of the son was TAILOR MADE for SHIA!

  • Joe R.Lansdale had it right in his intro to Dead in the West. "It's a lot like the B-movies that used to come on late-night television - stuff like Billy the Kid vs. Dracula, or Frankenstein Meets Jesse James' Daughter." 150 million dollars is ridiculous for this sort of thing. Running time should've been shortened to 90 minutes, not 120. And it's another blockbuster movie where things just kinda sorta happen, one after the other. It felt like 5 different writers scribbled plot points on index cards and stitched 'em all together. The trailer for Tower Heist looked great though. "Are you married?" "Huh? Nah, I ain't married." "Mmm-hmmmm." Nice! Good to see Matthew Broderick in the cast too.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 12:17 a.m. CST

    If the movie is as bad as this review

    by Queefer Sutherland

    then I'm going to shoot myself in the theater. Man, that review was painful to get through.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 12:31 a.m. CST

    Poor, poor GenderBlender. What a sad little person.

    by D.Vader

    Someone had their heart broken by a geek once. Maybe twice. Three times a lady?

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 12:42 a.m. CST

    I'm glad Orci finally admitted

    by animas

    "....we came aboard as doctors" That is the answer I have been asking for a long time. Basically , the studio/marketing sends in you guys to change a script to the lowest common denominator for mass consumption. The only question I have now is; are you aware of this or do they just tell you to "do your thing?"

  • Really bad, John Carradine as the Count couldn't even save it.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 2:07 a.m. CST

    Firefly was the best Sci Fi Western

    by Queefer Sutherland

    Just so all you fuckers know. You can fuck off now you fucking fuckers.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 3:05 a.m. CST

    Another awesome alien design

    by MandrakeRoot

    The Abyss. Most modern movies can't touch the older alien designs. I agree it's just too bug-like.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 5:13 a.m. CST

    i hate you

    by secracium

    you never talk about the movie in a critical sense, you just talk about how it relates to your pre-pubescent reflections and nostalgic memories. what's worse is that i'm still interested and read your pablum. i think i hate myself more than i loathe you . . .

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 5:52 a.m. CST

    Enjoyable Enough

    by lagomorph

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 7:54 a.m. CST

    A 7/10 film

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Not too bad, but just barely good enough. Other than the concept, the film itself is kind of bland and forgetable. I can imagine what it could've been with a more dynamic director and maybe an R-rating, but it was a lot better than it could've been.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 7:59 a.m. CST

    The ending (spoliers, spoiliers, spoilers)

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Was it just me, or did it seem like everyone was a little too friendly during the coda scene? I think the Harrison Ford character was really bungled. He went from being a mean SOB, to a grumpy old dude, to a kindly grandpa by the end of the film. The film probably would've been better had Clancy Brown been in the Harrison Ford role, and Harrison Ford been in the Clancy Brown role.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 8:14 a.m. CST

    It did channel early Spielberg but the problem with that is

    by Samuel Fulmer

    It used these elements (spaceships first appearance kind of like Close Encounters, Having Ford tell a war story kind of like Quint's Indianapolis speech, and I guess this isn't Spielberg but towards the end we get a definite Han Solo flies in to save the day from New Hope moment), but had nothing original to say. At least when someone like Tarantino swipes elements from other films he's able to put his own stamp on them.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Saw it over the weekend.

    by Orbots Commander

    The movie isn't terrible, just sort of bland and forgettable. The best scenes in the movie actually belonged to Sam Rockwell's character.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 11:31 a.m. CST

    And that's why I saw the matinee

    by Eternal Watcher

    It could have been better, but I think with all the creative firepower behind it, they didn't know how to make it the ultimate mash-up. If you took out the "extra help" the Cowboys got, and showed how Wild West know-how can trump these newfangled aliens, we may have had something. It was a good try, though.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Just like last year's review of Predators. Harry takes a mediocre flick and

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    gives it heaps of slight praise, so he doesn't offend his director buddies.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 12:19 p.m. CST


    by shodan6672

    SPOILER- Big problem that I had was during the final fight. The aliens were supposed to see poorly in daylight. Yet when they stormed the humans during the battle, they never missed and tackled/killed them with laserlike precision. Overall I enjoyed it though.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Man all the hate on this site

    by optimus122

    Its really unbelievable. You all hate Harry and all of his crew. You all hate 99 percent of the movies they review and 99 percent of the actors. This place is an embarrassment at best. I don't get why the crew here still thinks it is a good idea to continue to use this old ass forum software and why they don't moderate the forums at all. All the spoilers in the title threads, man I just wish most of you would get out of bed in the morning and notice that overnight you suffered a major stroke and leave the internet forever.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 3:23 p.m. CST

    I read the Dollarhyde character differently

    by RegnadKcin

    To me, it looked like Ford came in and said 'no' to the character on the page and insisted on a "character arc" that left him as a sympathetic senior. I mean, every other character was a stereotype; why not Ford's? Not to imply I didn't like the movie, but editing out some of the "cookbook cowboy movie" cliches would have made it better.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 5:47 p.m. CST

    An eye-roller, to be sure.

    by Skraggo

    Just got back from a matinee viewing. Should've been called Cowboys and Cliches. I finally just sighed and slumped down in my seat by the time the mortally wounded cowboy sputtered his dying breath to Harrison Ford: 'Did we get 'em?' Man, you gotta be JOKING. Was this movie written for people who have never actually seen any other movies before? You feel every single beat miles before it happens. The only thing missing was a cat to jump into frame and scare someone just before a real alien attacks them. The movie is lousy with deus ex machina, too. Are your characters always getting in bad spots during the Western portions of the movie? Don't know how to write them out of it? Eh, just insert one of a dozen or so perfectly timed alien attacks to get them out of the scene. And I mean PERFECTLY timed attacks. The alien design is truly dreadful. They look like some kind of hairless space gorilla mixed with a Prawn. And somehow, these screeching, slobbering, ape-like brutes are able to conquer interstellar space, pilot starships, use energy weapons, and [SPOILER.......] operate a vast metallurgical refinery. Oh, and the aliens supposedly don't see well in sunlight -- a piece of exposition that you think is going to somehow come into play -- but....Naaaaaa. And I really don't want to dredge up the old CGI debate again, but man the CG on the aliens is really bad. The movement is very keyframed looking and, yet again, you've got something that looks like it weighs about 800 pounds, bouncing all over creation like it weighs 8 pounds. You know what... now that I think about it... they move like some kind of CG bullshit from Steven Sommers' Mummy movies. On the plus side, Clancy Brown is in the movie. And Daniel Craig's fight scenes were pretty good. Other than those couple of things... the movie is pretty much a whiff.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 6:54 p.m. CST

    This movie is such a bore

    by BigTuna

    Everything about it is flat. The action scenes, alien designs/effects, story-you name it. Ford was solid in it though I must say.

  • I'm not surprised you'd be ecstatic that you were right just *once*. Though celebrating like that does make you look like childish brat.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 9:31 p.m. CST

    And GenderBlender, you idiot...

    by D.Vader

    District 9 is definitely NOT a "tank-fest", nor a "failure", and the boxofficemojo story did NOT suggest that either. All the story said was that the movie did not reach Blockbuster grosses. But check the page for District 9- nothing about grossing almost 7 times your budget is considered a "failure". Only a half-educated moppet like yourself would come to that inane conclusion.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 9:33 p.m. CST

    Once again, you have been proven wrong and outschooled

    by D.Vader

    Poor, poor, GB. Pathetic.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 11:18 p.m. CST

    anyone who rip bob orci can fuck off...

    by j-bot

    You have know idea how the hollywood studio system works when it comes to screenwriting and don't try and pretend you do. Is he a good writer or not? who knows. but you can't judge him based one his work for a big studio film.

  • Aug. 1, 2011, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Just Very Un-Interesting Choices

    by Rebeck2

    For instance...and I could do this all day long...wouldn't it have been more exciting and interesting to start with the gold robbery and have the aliens "interrupt" this classic Western first they think it's a posse after them, etc. And the fact that the Aliens also want the gold makes it really work. Then you could have the Craig character be the only survivor and come into town telling of something that no one believes and cannot even imagine. The whole man-without-a-name amnesiac really didn't make much sense or lead anywhere that exciting. Also...why not use the classic flying saucer design - wouldn't that be a cooler, weirder juxtaposition? Why bother with two different women for Craig? Why not make him have a thing going with the Wilde character and when he has real feelings for her, find out she's a -----. And shouldn't there be more humor in a movie with that title? I told you, I could do this all day... What a waste.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 12:03 a.m. CST

    BlenderBender thinks District 9 failed...

    by Mattman

    District 9's budget: $30 million District 9's gross: $210 million Try again.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 12:03 a.m. CST

    Just hate those pesky facts, don't you BenderBlender?

    by Mattman

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 12:05 a.m. CST

    And let's take a look at Super 8's 'failure' while we're at it

    by Mattman

    Budget: $50 million Gross: $184 million Try again.

  • makes sense. because science fiction always does huge, right? They musta even been shocked it didn't make a billion dollars lol.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 2:59 a.m. CST

    lol I'd imagine D9 made out like gangbusters on DVD also


  • Aug. 2, 2011, 7:19 a.m. CST

    You're right of course, BenderBlender

    by D.Vader

    Any movie that does not make half a billion dollars should be considered a failure. You idiot.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 7:37 a.m. CST

    Earth gets invaded all the time now.

    by cookylamoo

    District 9, Battleground LA, Falling Skies, Skyline, (And of course let me plug Attack the Block) I don't blame moviegoers for getting over- alienated. Besides, Favreau is a competent but bland director, even though he's Harry's pal.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 9:59 a.m. CST

    GenderBlender - if you enjoy watching male-centric movies crash and burn,

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    you must of had to change your pants regularly watching Bridesmaids succeed. Other than that, you're only 250 million off, worldwide, on your Blair Witch figures. And that was lightning-in-a-bottle. If someone makes a low budget genre movie thinking that they may make 2500 + times their budget is insane, and using that as a benchmark for success is just as insane.

  • fact

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 10:33 a.m. CST

    is a

    by quantize

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 10:42 a.m. CST

    The Kids Are All Right was also a disaster...

    by Knobules

    Domestic Total Gross: $20,811,365 Distributor: Focus Features Release Date: July 9, 2010 Genre: Comedy Runtime: 1 hrs. 46 min. MPAA Rating: R Production Budget: $4 million Apples to apples!!! This can go on forever. Cant we all just get along?

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 10:42 a.m. CST

    it was just ok and totally predictable

    by sunwukong86

    I saw every plot point coming from a mile away. Especially the indian translator dying, so cliche.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Entertainment VS Mediocrity...

    by Lacloake

    ...and Mediocrity won it hands down...

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Hmm, sounds like I need to go see Bridesmaids

    by Mattman

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Actually, I'd prefer my movie made a trillion dollars

    by Mattman

    Anything less is failure. Even a half billion.

  • Amazing the movie industry keeps going!

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Thanks for proving your idiocy even more BenderBlender

    by D.Vader

    You really are a child who has no grasp of how things really work, aren't you? You don't even do the smallest bit of research to make your posts more believable, you just pull shit out of your ass and throw it to a wall, hoping it will stick rather than using intelligence to prove your point. And you are *always* shown to be inarguably wrong. Wrong, wrong wrong. Yes, just about every movie out there that doesn't make half a billion dollars profit is a failure. You're not going to find a single producer out there who agrees with that. And for the record, since your research skills are like that of a 3 year old, District 9 cost $30 million to make, not "$100,000". Which proves you're either A) a liar or B) an ignorant buffoon. So which is it? I fully expect you to ignore every point I've just made above, which is your MO when beaten. To just crawl away and pretend it didn't happen.

  • Most of the time Harry is completely wrong about a movie. this must be the best hit of the summer then. As further evidence of this point, please go and re-read his review for the new nightmare on elm street re-make and then actually try to watch that movie without falling asleep from boredum and disappointment and you will see what I mean.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Ain't It Genderblender News

    by Skraggo

    Seriously people. The talkbacks have been dominated by this GB schtick for a while now. Can we all collectively agree to stop feeding and watering this character and get back to waging holy war against each other for our differing opinions proper?

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Fuck you Skraggo

    by D.Vader

    I disagree! =D

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 4:20 p.m. CST


    by Skraggo

    Now THAT'S more like it!

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Skraggo, I think I'll take your advice

    by Mattman

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 8:04 p.m. CST


    by D.Vader

    No, you tried to insinuate the District 9 budget was close to Blair Witch's when the fact is, they weren't anywhere NEAR each other. But you're right. Every movie with a budget over $100,000 should be considered a failure. Idiot thinking.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 8:27 p.m. CST

    I bet the D9 creators are scratching their heads


    wondering what went wrong. For D9 part 2 I hear they are gonna add lightsabers.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 8:27 p.m. CST

    once again, genderblender, you seriously need therapy

    by CountryBoy

    Your whole existence on these boards appears to be one of hatred and lies. I also seem to recall an old post where you admitted you LOVE geek cinema but have the good sense to be ashamed of yourself for it. Can you not, on the simplest level, see how warped that is? But beyond that, your bizarre "no one should love their families, friendship is idiotic, Voldemort was right" worldview is one that genuinely needs to be addressed, and not by talkbackers. You need to avail yourself of a competent therapist, fast. Unless, as I still half suspect, you're just a bored middle-aged man who has fun kicking back with a Budweiser and posting the craziest parodies of feminism he can.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 8:28 p.m. CST

    I don't know who this Gender Blender character is...

    by Mojo-Wan

    but I find the self assured, broad generalizations about sexual politics as seen by angry teenagers quite hilarious.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 9:20 p.m. CST

    Cowboys and Aliens is utterly humorless.

    by knowthyself

    Devoid of any fun so I sure as hell wasn't having any. Where's the fun we got in Iron Man?

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 9:45 p.m. CST

    I loved "Valley of the Gwangi" back in the late 70's

    by ufoclub1977

    when I caught it on abc as the afternoon 3:00 o-clock movie one day after elementary school. I was just coming off my want-to-be-a-paleontologist ambition. That's also I saw "Trog".

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 10:12 p.m. CST

    Yes BenderBlender, you are STILL, continually wrong

    by D.Vader

    First off, Halo was and is extremely well known in the United States. You're either, again, completely incompetent and ignorant, or you are trying to spread lies. Either way, you look like a complete fool. Again. The HALO movie was cancelled long before District 9 went into production. District 9 was made as a result of HALO being cancelled; PJ and Blomkamp still wanted to make a movie. District 9's success or failure had nothing to do with the HALO project; it was already not happening. So yes, yes, you are wrong. Again.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 10:15 p.m. CST

    And no one expected ID4 box office levels

    by D.Vader

    More idiocy from you. District 9 had zero stars, zero names, not ONE single recognizable face. ID4 had Jeff Goldblum coming off Jurassic Park, Will Smith coming off Bad Boys, Bill Pullman... well Bill Pullman. No one expects the former to perform like the latter. You need to get your head out of what you believe others think, bc you are flailing and failing every single time with your terrible assumptions.

  • Aug. 2, 2011, 11:56 p.m. CST

    GB, don't try playing dumb

    by D.Vader

    You suggested the HALO film was dependent on whether or not D9 succeeded- again you were wrong. There was no "TOTAL" cancellation after D9's terrific success. It was already dead. You can not connect the two in some lame attempt at proving D9 was a failure. I never said people worldwide know what HALO is, that's something you implied. You also said and implied something completely incorrect and uneducated, that people in the US have no idea of what HALO is. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Here's a challenge to you, because apparently it will make your head explode bc again, you have NO CLUE how the world works. How about YOU go into an Abercrombie and Fitch. How about YOU converse with "regular" people and not geeks and ask them what HALO is. Because the answer may give you a heart attack, another nail in the coffin proving you don't have your finger on the pulse of the "geek nation", nor upon the real world because guess what: people at Abercrombie know what HALO is. People at Abercrombie play HALO too. HALO doesn't belong solely to geeks, or whatever pejorative you want to use; the normals know what it is, play what it is, and love what it is too. I don't need luck. Reality is on my side. Try it.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 12:03 a.m. CST

    And how would D9's success cause HALO to be cancelled?

    by D.Vader

    You say " Clearly, they cancelled the project BECAUSE THEY KNEW IT WOULD COST MORE TO MAKE THAN IT WOULD BRING IN." And how did they know this? When D9, a movie that was wholly ORIGINAL and not based on a single pre-existing property, made so much money? HALO wouldn't be able to make more? Where's the evidence that they knew it would "cost more to make than it would bring in," and this is a result of the outstanding success of District 9? Oh that's right, you're just making more assumptions.

  • Halo: Reach, in turn, broke the record set by Halo 3, selling $200 million USD worth of copies on its first day of release. The games have sold over 40 million copies worldwide, and all Halo merchandise has grossed more than $2 billion.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 12:30 a.m. CST

    I feel a little guilty chopping you, my dear GB


    It's like telling a snail he's too slow.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 3:30 a.m. CST

    heh. Lots of people in an Abercrombie and Fitch store would know what Halo is.


    Your basement dwelling, bad hygeine stereotype description of video game players isn't exactly accurate, haha The video game industry is neck-and-neck with the movie industry, it grosses billions of dollars.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 8:06 a.m. CST

    I too have to agree with genderbender


    And I would also throw in Max Payne, one of my personal favorite video games. And big movie disappointments. The main problem I see with video game adaptations is that they never stick to the game's story. The producers always think they know better. Maybe they cynically think that video game plots are too stupid. But, this makes no sense as this is part of what makes them so successful in the first place.

  • My connection to the cyber world at large has just been restored, as a land line issue has taken me off the grid for over a week. I managed to see "Cowboys and Aliens" yesterday without reading a single review. Not a single AICN, BadAss Digest review or Rotten Tomatoes rating. I had only seen the trailer. In this day and age, this is extremely rare. I enjoyed the pulp serial adventure concept right out of Weird Tales or Heavy Metal magazine. Daniel Craig was badass. I love westerns and likely would have enjoyed this just as much without the sci-fi element. Harrison Ford gave one of his patented "lights on behind the eyes" performances, even though his growly, gravelly voice sometimes rang false. I was shocked at how character driven the entire story played out for a summer movie. It's more a story of inner discovery and character development than a broader strokes story of an alien invasion. The supporting cast rocks! The cinematography is top notch; one of the sharpest looking films I've seen this year. Favreau was clearly channeling "The Searchers" here. If I had any disappointments, it would involve the alien design work and story. First of all, the trailer hints at a mystery involving the alien's intent, but there isn't much of one to be found in the finished film. They could have been easily replaced with any generic evil land barron hoarding land for it's gold in a standard western plot. Secondly, we REALLY need some fresh monster designers to step up in Hollywood. All aliens are starting to look the same. The aliens in "Cowboys and Aliens" look pretty much exactly the same as the alien in "Super 8". I haven't seen a new, interesting alien design in quite some time. The pace was also slow for a modern summer movie. I assume Favreau was going for a Sergio Leone slowburn, but he doesn't quite nail it because the aliens prove to be somewhat uninteresting once we get to see them and what they're up to. But there's pulp fun to be had watching Daniel Craig taking on the role of the iconic, mysterious gunslinger with a glint in his eye who can kick any horse thief or alien's ass without spilling his whiskey. I think this film will be better appreciated by an older audience than that of the "Transformers" crowd. This is, in fact, your dad's cowboys and aliens movie.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Canned Dirty Ape, you're arguing the wrong points

    by D.Vader

    Just because she answered your question about masturbation and got you hot and bothered doesn't mean you need to ride in like a white knight to her defense without actually looking at the points she's been making and the ones I've been arguing against. What you need to know is BenderBlender deals in lies and assumptions. Look at her first posts on the subject: A) She tries to claim District 9 is a failure B) She tries to claim that bc D9 didn't make Blair Witch level grosses, it killed HALO for good C) She tries to claim HALO is not well known in the US. All lies and misinformation. BenderBlender loves to just throw random information out there and treat it as fact without doing any research. Don't believe me? Check out the Comic-Con Spielberg/Tintin talkback and look at the thrashing she received. All I've argued against are the points she made above. D9 was not a failure. D9 had nothing to do with HALO being cancelled (other than being created as a result of the cancellation), and HALO is EXTREMELY well known. Look how she shrunk away from dealing with her ridiculous hypothesis that no one in Abercrombie would know what HALO was. You know why? Because she realized she was wrong. So she falls back on the one point she was correct on, the one point I've *never* argued against, the one point you have come in here defending her on the basis on- that HALO was cancelled bc it was probably deemed as a financial risk. I haven't argued against it, but its a typical deflection from the real points that have been discussed bc she realizes she's been beaten in every other area and proven wrong. Now if you or BenderBlender wants to do some actual research on the HALO movie project, you'll see that its not completely dead, just somewhat stalled, in development hell. You'll also see the reason many passed on it to begin with is because Microsoft had what appears to be pretty outrageous demands when it came to their share of the grosses, a deal some studios didn't agree with and didn't want to be a part of. But again, go back and read all the posts first before you come charging in to her defense. You'll see you're not needed whatsoever. And to the point about video games not making money, I need only one point to make: all those video game movies were awful. Critical failures. I've said it before, I'll say it again- audiences like to see *good* movies, and every one of those films looked awful. A movie does not need to be based on an existing property or to have a familiar name to make money. You make a movie that looks *good*, and the audience will come. The HALO fans will see it already (of which there are arguably more than there are of Doom and BloodRayne, which shouldn't even be included), and then the rest of the world will catch on. And Canned Dirty Ape, look again at the person you are trying to defend. She's someone who lies, deals with half-truths, and makes such ridiculous conclusions as "Video game players don't go to the movies. They also don't shower. Or bathe. Or wash their hair." Really? That's someone you want to blindly defend?

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 9:44 a.m. CST

    So BenderBlender

    by D.Vader

    You want to ignore all my points and not answer any of my questions? Go figure, I guess you realize you've been beaten, so you fall back on the one point you were right on, the one point I never argued with you against, that HALO was cancelled bc of money. Though, if you do your research, you'll see there's no evidence against them believing the movie would not make money, but plenty evidence showing studios didn't like the deal Microsoft was requiring for it. But in the end, its failure has nothing to do with the reasons you mentioned above- that District 9 didn't make boffo box office results- and that's what I was proving you wrong about in the first place.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 11:05 a.m. CST

    vader, I love you, dude, but


    are you sure that benderblender isn't someone we know? I'm not so sure. But, I'm absolutely certain he/she's a total put-on. I just hate to see you get all worked up for nothing, bud. Even if it is amusing to see you smack her down again and again only to have her come back with something even more ridiculous than the last thing he/she it posted.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Canned Dirty Ape

    by D.Vader

    I would argue its a combination of factors that keeps HALO from getting made and wouldn't attribute it to any one thing, especially not something as ridiculous as "its not well-known enough" (which is false, the way BenderBlender wants to spin it). I think its a combo of A) its an epic scifi film and epic scifi usually does need a large budget to make it work and B) Microsoft seems to be a bit greedy regarding its share of the grosses, and that scares studios away from wanting to take part. Why put up a bigger portion of the budget and bigger risk when the other guy isn't? HALO was going to be made with two studios co-financing, but one left after Microsoft refused to budge on its percentage of the grosses, it seems, which caused the project to fall apart in that incarnation. It will probably still happen, but there's a lot of work to be done to attract the right people and get the right money people interested. I think its in Microsoft's hands.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 11:32 a.m. CST

    That Said The Choppah

    by D.Vader

    I fully believe her to be a troll, yea, you've got no argument from me there (though she'll argue the contrary). I enjoy showing how wrong she is every time she makes a ridiculously false statement. Its fun.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Oh and one more factor, Canned Dirty Ape

    by D.Vader

    C) Video Game movies don't do well as far as box office grosses go. But I would argue that every video game movie that's been made has been fairly terrible to begin with, and audiences will gravitate towards a movie or franchise if the movie itself is *good*, regardless of whether or not its based on pre-existing material or not (Avatar being a prime example).

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 12:04 p.m. CST

    vades, you don't see the humor in this quote:


    Men want to get their work done, grunt, get off 'their women' 's bodies and go to bed. Men do not WANT a female to orgasm. Men don't WANT to know female sexuality exists. Men don't WANT to even acknowledge the existence of female genitalia (witness how most mainstream publications like PLAYBOY or PENTHOUSE or cable softcore like Cinemax et al barely reference the female genital region but focus very much on breasts and buttocks but very rarely on the vaginal region) or that women can have sexual desires. It's been that way for centuries, and we still have many cultures in the world who believe the best solution to dealing with female sexuality is to burn/cut off the clitoris of every woman so as to avoid them dealing with the 'trauma' of having sexual desire. Choppah back: This is complete absurd satire. There is no way that GBl is female or that this quote is intended to be serious. GB on the other hand I believe definitely is a woman. Come on, the stuff about Playboy and Cinemax is patently absurd. Men aren't afraid of vaginas. Men love looking at vaginas. Notice how she completely and conveniently overlooks all of the hard core porn that is actually putting Playboy out of business because of Playboy's tameness. I'll shut up now, because it is not my intention to out whoever is sockpuppeteering GenderBlender.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 12:27 p.m. CST

    Oh no, I agree That Said The Choppah

    by D.Vader

    Totally ridiculous and absurd.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Google Tex Arcana

    by eddieVroom

    Tex Arcana would have made a great movie. The entire series from Heavy Metal magazine in the eighties is on line.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 3:08 p.m. CST


    by django_il_bastardo


  • Aug. 3, 2011, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Saw it today myself and...

    by IamZardoz

    ...thought it sucked azz. It was like all those 20 or so writers had an idea and they incorporated them all into the movie. Noble indians? check Boy with dog? check Good husband? check on and on and on. I wasnt expecting too much when I went to see it, maybe something entertaining if nothing else. I was wrong, this movie is crapola and almost makes Jonah Hex seem good in comparison. Carridine is wasted in this. Brown is good, I agree but Ford actor-ates all over himself. Craig can't act at all.

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 4:39 p.m. CST

    um hello ... spoiler warning ?!?

    by brechtsky

    What the hell, just ruined a huge twist for me, and randomly in the middle of a sentence on an article with no warning tag/box... thanks for that, harry!

  • Aug. 3, 2011, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Lisa Lampinelli?


  • Aug. 4, 2011, 12:31 a.m. CST

    what about Hustler?


    Hustler is 100% hard core with lots of vaginal shots. Lol I can't resist feeding the trolls I guess. Youre full of shit aboout Penthouse, also. It has tons of pussy shots.

  • Aug. 4, 2011, 2:06 a.m. CST

    it's fitting that you bring up days of the past and how movies used to be


    because your take on gender roles are dated and are no longer relevant. Western society is becoming more and more matriarchal. I really have no fucking clue what you are babbling about. Did you just arrive from a time machine from 1950? Most men today are a bunch of pussies and the women think they are running shit now, their attitude and arrogance is through the roof. I think the correct term is "bitches." ;)

  • Aug. 4, 2011, 2:12 a.m. CST

    Peter Jackson was attached. It would have had a large budget.


  • Aug. 4, 2011, 2:13 a.m. CST

    Halos numbers


    On the day before its official release, 4.2 million units of Halo 3 were in retail outlets.[4] Halo 3 grossed US$300 million in its first week.[5] More than one million people played Halo 3 on Xbox Live in the first twenty hours.[6] As of January 3, 2008, Halo 3 sold 8.1 million copies,[7] and was the best-selling video game of 2007 in the U.S.[8] Overall, the game was very well received by critics, with the Forge and multiplayer offerings singled out as strong features. A prequel to the game, Halo 3: ODST, was released worldwide on September 22, 2009; a sequel, Halo 4, is in development.

  • Fukking post the DVD Column already motherfucker !!!!!!!!!

  • Aug. 4, 2011, 9 a.m. CST

    So, BenderBlender admits she is a sexist troll

    by D.Vader

    And there you have it folks, she's a sexist troll, straight from her own mouth, whether she meant to say it or not, she's revealed it.

  • Aug. 4, 2011, 9:02 a.m. CST

    And so, for your paper, BenderBlender...

    by D.Vader

    You never actually talked to any men? Never conducted any interviews or questionnaires to get the truth? You just made a bunch of assumptions and assumed that was true for an entire group of society you refused to talk about on the subject matter? Assumptions? Go figure. That's why you end up wrong so many times. You don't deal in facts, you don't do real research, you just assume. No wonder you think men don't like vaginas. Like I said, its either complete ignorance, or its trollish behavior. If you were a truly intelligent or wise person, you would have talked to them about it.

  • You- "Anyone want to question why D. Vader constantly uses attack-the-female terminology about how he's BEATING me, SMACKING me, BRINGING ME DOWN?" That's not "attack the female terminology", only a close-minded fool would *assume* that. That's the terminology used during any competition when one side is victorious over the other. Its about one side vs another; it has nothing to do with gender, but of course a sexist would again *assume* it does. And here's a challenge for you: try finding a time I ever used the term "smacking". You use it so often in your diatribe, but once again, you are WRONG. Wrong. Wrong. You've made another assumption without doing any research, without doing any fact-checking (like in every debate we've had), and so I challenge you to find the times I've "constantly" said I'm "smacking" you or "bringing you down". Hell, you're the one who used the "attack the female" (ridiculous assertion) vocabulary first with the statement "who - as I do - likes to use reality to smack the faces of fangeeks" Says a lot about you, doesn't it? Once again, your allegations and assertions and assumptions are false. Like always.

  • Ahem- ' So what happened? “It was the lawyers,” said O’Connor. “When they went behind closed doors with the contracts, things fell apart.” O’Connor said that the primary sticking point was the fact that Microsoft owns all rights to Halo, and that means licensing as well. “The problem was that the movie company couldn’t make any money beyond the movie.” ' All it takes is a little research. You should try it sometime.

  • Aug. 4, 2011, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Ok, here's why genderblender is a put-on:


    genderblender showed up after genderbender. gender bender is the original and she constantly reminds us of this. she alas claims that genderblender is an imposter who mimics her. And this is where it gets scary: 1. Both genderbender and gender blender claim to be female. I believe that bender actually is a woman. blender I'm pretty sure is not. 2. Both bender and blender hate men and paint all men as rapists and oppressors. 3. Both bender and blender hate fanboys who they both refer to as fangeeks. And they both relish in anything that disappoints or harms said fangeeks. 4. Both bender and blender foresee a future where the fanboy is no more. 5. Both bender and blender call for more normal status quo taste in films over the current fad which they both see as pandering to fanboys. 6. Both bender and blender quote Box Office returns ad nauseum which that see as the ultimate indicator of a films success or failure. 7. Both bender and blender claim to be bisexuals who prefer women over men. 8. Both bender and blender claim to be doing research for papers analyzing online male/female roles. OK, now what are the odds that two people would have all these things in common in addition to having usernames so similar that they only differ by a single letter. And since genderbender was the original and genderblender came shortly after we can only deduce that bender is the original and blender the imposter as bender claims. And since their posts are so similar in content and their modus operandis appears to be exactly the same we can only deduce that blender is aping, mocking or parodying bender.

  • Aug. 4, 2011, 4:17 p.m. CST

    Oh, and genderbender


    YOU'RE WELCOME! And genderblender, keep up the good work!

  • Aug. 4, 2011, 11:14 p.m. CST

    Nothing else to add, BenderBlender?

    by D.Vader

    Guess I was right about everything. Once again.

  • Aug. 4, 2011, 11:46 p.m. CST

    This movie made me sad :(

    by Frodo T. Baggins

    Because it sucked so much....

  • Genderblender came first; genderbender is nothing more than an imitation troll. Easy to confirm, took less than a minute. Did a google search from 2000 to may of this year. No posts from 'bender, several from 'blender. If genderblender is banned, it's kind of screwed up that genderbender is still here. After all he created his TB persona to mimick 'blender. Or pay homage to, not quite sure. Either way, now that the original is gone, hopefully we've seen the last of 'bender.

  • or posting with any kind of agenda, I don't think I really have anything to fear from someone spoofing me as I'm not on here as a character (or caricature). There's nothing to parody. ... and dozens of nerds cry out defiantly "challenge accepted".

  • I'm really curious. While your trolling was persistent you never seemed to cross the line.

  • Aug. 5, 2011, 10:27 p.m. CST

    How much does Harry get paid by the studios for his reviews

    by M.F. Cauley

    They are always very suspicious, come on Green Lantern!!? ?? I knew he a was fake well back, but some of them are just not cool. TF3 awesome (biggest P.O.S od all time!), C & A not so good, what the hell!!

  • Aug. 6, 2011, 10:05 a.m. CST

    genderbender, how can she have been lampooning you

    by jim

    if she was posting for 3 months before you started? You're as delusional as you are unfunny. Here are the results of my homework: First post by Genderblender: March 25, 2011 First post by Genderbender (that's you): July 1, 2011 3/4 of a year? Only if that year started on June 20th. I'm sure for you things like math and calendars and telling time is hard but even a dolt like you should be able to tell the difference between 5 weeks and 9 months.

  • Aug. 10, 2011, 3:02 a.m. CST

    I'm late to the party! Only just saw it! But it SUCKED!

    by Big Dumb Ape

    Sorry, Favreau -- this turkey was overcooked and it was overblown in all the wrong ways. It had none of the charm that IRON MAN had. And by the end...even in the midst of the climactic just dragged. And given how many writers worked on this turd, I can't believe how wooden the dialogue was and how badly paced the overall movie was. And don't even get me started on plot holes! Man, this was a HUGE disappointment...