Cool News
Trailer For Peter Berg's BATTLESHIP!!
Merrick here...
A trailer of Peter Berg's off-the-hook, alien-themed adaptation of Hasbro's BATTLESHIP game has gone online at Yahoo, where it's available in HD.
Personally, I love peter Berg films and anything with Alexander Skarsgard in it? I'm there for. He's so damn good in TRUE BLOOD, plus he plays a character called Stone Hopper here - which is all kindsa cheesy cool.
— follow Merrick on Twitter ! ---
Readers Talkback
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July 27, 2011, 12:01 p.m. CST
So its an alternate universe where an Iowa class is still in service.....
by whatevillurks
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July 27, 2011, 12:01 p.m. CST
So far (0:53) I am liking Neeson being a dick, but I have a feeling it's about to get REALLY bad
by golden tribw
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July 27, 2011, 12:04 p.m. CST
Transformers, Cowboys & Aliens, Battle LA, Skyline, this is more of the same 100-percent-of-our-budget-went-to-the-effects-department bullshit, I fucking hate it, this is why pretty much everyone under the age of 50 is such a stupid uncultured pussy
by golden tribw
Yes I'm under 50, if you have two brain cells to rub together you know exactly what I'm talking about and if you don't then you ARE what I'm talking about
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Already?
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Who used my Michael Bay gift card GODDAMMIT.
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I can't keep track.
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July 27, 2011, 12:06 p.m. CST
Is Merrick high? Hopper is NOT Alexander Skarsgard, it's the main guy...
by Pitofbenders
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Maybe it's because I'm an aging, cranky old Gen X'er...but come the hell ON!
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your post titles are too long.
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July 27, 2011, 12:06 p.m. CST
The movie should have been about the Battle of Jutland or the search for the Bismark.
by whatevillurks
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Nice guy. Talented actor too--wish he would go in front of the camera more often. Pretty sure I've liked everything he has directed. Will be seeing this.
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The man can pick some great roles, even some ok ones (I did enjoy the A-Team, grew up watching it as a young kid and I think they really captured the fun and quirkiness of the show) and then he goes and picks something ridiculous like Battleship...
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Never misunderestimate the power of a good time storm.
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July 27, 2011, 12:08 p.m. CST
re Its aicn not twitter ... I don't know if you're talking to me or someone else but regardless that is the stupidest fucking comment I've read in ages, piss right off
by golden tribw
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keep practicing
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no one will pay to see this turd
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You have to be god damn kidding me. REALLY? Fucking REALLY???? That's fake, ain't it? Tell me that's fake.
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we can have Crimson Tide vs Aliens
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...is that they happen to be on a battleship. I guess the movie about the Game of Life will involve living things. The Candyland movie will feature a main character eating a piece of candy.
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Clearly Universal are very proud of Rihanna!
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July 27, 2011, 12:13 p.m. CST
has Neeson just given up trying to do an American accent?
by ragingfluff
Is he the Sean Connery of our time?
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There are apparently two Hoppers - Alex (Kitsch) and Stone (Skarsgard). I see the confusion though - my kitschy reference wasn't intended to be the pun that it was.
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Gimme a break.
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"You sunk my battleship!"?
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a mouse tries get through a maze and then WHAMMO! an alien comes and eats him
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My god.
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July 27, 2011, 12:18 p.m. CST
Choppah, damn straight. Final Fucking Countdown.
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Kirk Douglas + aircraft carrier + F-14 Tomcats or F-15 Eagles = Japan gets its ass handed to its navy. Kirk was all like "Fuck the temporal prime directive. We took an oath to defend America."
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This is so hillariously bad! The alien missiles/torpedoes even look like the big bulky red counters you put into your battleships in the game! I'm close to wetting myself with laughter after watching that trailer. Only in Hollywood does a movie this retarded have millions of dollars spent on it. Hang your head in shame Liam Neeson.
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July 27, 2011, 12:19 p.m. CST
bluedjihn1: Did you not see the pegs in the side of the ship?
by Greggers
I'm pretty sure that was a reference to the game...which probably did not to be literalized as some kind alien technology. Not really sure what I was going to find here. I was almost expecting a DOWN PERISCOPE-type comedy with someone -- hopefully Neeson -- exclaiming "You sank my battleship!"
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First off, there's no way this movie is going to be good. You have a better chance of Smurfs being a good movie. The trailer was boring. All the stuff before they set out to see feels really boring, like Pearl Harbor boring. Then, what? They find a transformer in the middle of the ocean? Is it going to be Super 8 where the Alien kills a bunch of people and they help him go home? Will this be as bad as Skyline?
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July 27, 2011, 12:20 p.m. CST
George Clooney in Steven Soderbergh's OPERATION THE MOVIE
by Margot Tenenbaum
An alien microchip is drifting towards the President's heart. Can Dr. Clooney operate in time?! Plus Matt Damon fistfights martians. This may or may not be an ALIEN prequel.
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July 27, 2011, 12:20 p.m. CST
I think if movie directors took their movie, and thought
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
"Is this worth making without CGI?" then, with a few exceptions like Avatar, we would be saved from a lot of crap. I'm not saying this is, but I'm just saying in general.
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July 27, 2011, 12:21 p.m. CST
FROM THE STUDIO THAT WOULDN'T FUND GDT'S IN THE MOUNTIANS OF MADNESS, COMES
by Nick
A 200 MILLION DOLLAR FILM, BASED ON A BOARD GAME... ENJOY!!!!!
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So is your thinking. It would be like having a movie called CONNECT FOUR without having a character say "Pretty sneaky, sis!"
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With all the other crap rising to the top these days, how the hell has The Final Countdown not been remade? That behemoth used to rule my ABC Sunday Nights At The Movies.
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July 27, 2011, 12:22 p.m. CST
This is a fake movie, right? It's a Funny or Die Exclusive?
by Doctor_Strangepork
Brooklyn Decker better do full frontal nudity in this picture.
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July 27, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST
(opening scene on beach) C - 36 ! You sunk my battleship !
by openthepodbaydoorshal
Between your glorious mounds.....
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July 27, 2011, 12:23 p.m. CST
Laughable, looks like Transformers 4: Battle at Sea
by Turd_Has_Risen_From_The_Gravy
Still, at least this kept Berg from making a pig's ear of Dune.
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Liam Neeson can do no wrong in my eyes. He even made The A-Team movie watchable.
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July 27, 2011, 12:24 p.m. CST
Last scene: (Liam) "You sank my Battleship...you sunuvabitch"
by Pixelsmack
You know it's coming....
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July 27, 2011, 12:26 p.m. CST
LOGIC ALERT: What does this have to do with the game Battleship?
by Billy_D_Williams
I don't understand the logic here...they wanted to make a movie out of the board game which has no story whatsoever...so why would a fan of the game battleship be tempted to see this? it's not like they're getting an adaptation of their favorite narrative, like in a novel to screen or video game to screen, etc...no, this is truly brand marketing at its disgusting worse. Hollywood knows people are such fucking utterly stupified hick infested zombies these days, they don't care what the fuck the story is as long as the title has some vague connection to some board game they played as a kid...anything, ANYTHING to secure an opening weekend. That's how desperate these people are ladies and gentleman. They have nothing but utter contempt for the human race. Not only will I NOT see this marketing-hook-in-search-of-a-movie piece of dogshit trash...I will actively tell every single person I know to also avoid it like the plague. PLEASE DO THE SAME. Hollywood must be stopped. The future of your children depends on it. We live in an utterly dumbed down, devoid of any intelligence whatsoever, lazy man's lowest common demonitator cesspool of a society.
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I would put one of my ships on the edge, then piggyback another ship on it so half of it was off the board. It worked fine unless the bottom one got blown up.
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Summer cinematic experiences are only ever going to get louder, cheesier and more ridiculous, apparently. Be nice to think that somehow technology and creativity would converge at a sensory, entertainment Valhalla, a reward for all the centuries of imperfect art imperfectly realized, but it's probably just going to be perpetual motion movie machine of endless computer generated aliens, monsters, pirates, superheroes and explosions. Hopefully by some point in the not-to-distant future 3D will emerge as a leading cause of terminal brain cancer. Which is also contagious. And explosive.
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COME ONNN, DAMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIITTT
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if 127 million future Japanese people become transparent while playing Johnny B. Goode...all the better.
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... isn't that the sequel to HUMAN CENTIPEDE?
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It's F14 Tomcats in The Final Countdown. The F-15 were Air Force and never flew off carriers.
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From what we saw being sunk into the side of the Battleship hull? How clever. Just use the Michael Bay formula on another Hasbro game and the audience should lap it right up, right?? It'll probably make a killing at the box office, and everybody sucks each others dicks at the end and calls it a day. Jesus, enough of this mind-numbing garbage.
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July 27, 2011, 12:35 p.m. CST
yet again, a bunch of fucking losers hating on something that looks awesome as fuck
by Daniel
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With Katy Perry as the heroine and Lady Gaga as the bad guy.
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You know the ending will have two aliens high above it all playing the "game" with the real battleships. Wow, mind blowing. It's like, dude, we are all just pawns in a game.
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It's not a good movie unless that happens.
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July 27, 2011, 12:39 p.m. CST
daniccus - careful, or we'll sick Asimovlives on you..
by openthepodbaydoorshal
or we can just amuse you be jangling our keys in front of your face.
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Just confusion, apathy, and the realization that the gap between the kind of movie that I want to see vs. what studios think I want to see grows ever wider. I guess I'd see this if they paid me or gave me free beer or something.
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but it looks perfectly fine. What were some of you expecting? Any movie based on a board game shouldn't be serious. A Michael Bay type film probably IS the right tone for this.
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July 27, 2011, 12:42 p.m. CST
daniccus wins the dunce award; re your-moms-box: so then what are you for complaining about people complaining? This deserves it, hundreds of people spent months and a hundred million dollars on this fucking abortion. To give it a pass as popcorn fare is
by golden tribw
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July 27, 2011, 12:43 p.m. CST
Pegs (shells) lined up in a row and embedded in a boat... check
by NinjaRap
But they couldn't make those shells red or white? They're YELLOW! And for that matter, the boats directly face each other - nothing placed at right angles or spaced awkwardly apart in a grid-like structure! This is clearly amateur hour.
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yeah it looks awesome...if you're a mouthbreather from a trailer park in Iowa
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nuff said
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July 27, 2011, 12:47 p.m. CST
i'm sorry but this trailer lost me with the black keys song
by THE_CHOPPAH
how can such a once-cool song get overplayed so quickly?
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This will go on the top of his resume, right up there with Star Wars!
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is that it is based on a property that does not have a story. There is no plot to work from. So the only reason to tie this film to the game BATTLESHIP is for brand recognition reasons. They could have called this: Super Carrier or Frigate... but they wanted to draw from the nostalgic factor when Gen Xers think about playing Battleship in their parent's rec rooms in the late 70s. I like Peter Berg and thought his adaption of Friday Night Lights hit the mark. But this film is beneath him. Sad that he sank to such a level (yes, pun intended).
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July 27, 2011, 12:49 p.m. CST
The aliens have arranged the battlefield into...some sort of grid, sir.
by Doctor_Strangepork
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I will find you. I will kill you.
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or Transformer Harbor...?
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July 27, 2011, 12:52 p.m. CST
I can tell you I don't know where your destroyer is. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills...
by Doctor_Strangepork
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Good one! I should've seen that one coming.
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July 27, 2011, 12:56 p.m. CST
As someone who has been coming here and reading talkback's for nearly 14 years...
by RockHardTobascoSlimJim
It is entertaining to watch the Talkback Personalities come and go. Some are more entertaining than others, but it never ceases to amaze me that there are actually people out there whose entire existence is predicated upon an internet persona. That there are folks who spend their days and nights, week in and week out, doing nothing but watching movies and posting on talkbacks and message boards. (Not talking shit at all. I wish that's all I had to worry about in this life!) There are entertaining ones like choppah, D. Vader and DGDB, etc. Sadly though, for the most part, it's sad little cases like goldentribe. You can always tell the ones who are going to be around for a while, and the ones who won't last long (see: teenagers whose nuts drop and they lose interest).
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Missed opportunity to do something with that line in the trailer. Peter Berg has never turned in a bad film. I have my fingers crossed that is ends up being a satire on the level of STARSHIP TROOPERS. Trailers sold that one as an action extravaganza, and it was, but it was also incredibly sharp and funny and remains one of the best anti-war films ever made. So I'm not writing this off just yet. Some people, in their eagerness to write things off, appear to be exactly the kind of brainless snods they want to criticize. It could be fun. It could even be smart, god help us. I'm hoping for the best. 'Fireball Island' could be a movie. It has movie-like qualities.
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Somewhere in the middle of the trailer I thought this would be about Atlantis.
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July 27, 2011, 12:59 p.m. CST
Peter Bergs got a damn cheek directing movies after he started that pedophile cult
by Mysterious_Volvo
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It's called selling out. Dan Auerbach gotta eat!
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Imagine if this guy had directed Dune...
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July 27, 2011, 1:01 p.m. CST
So I guess — judging by this latest insult of a film — we're supposed to just keep watching the same movie over and over again?
by Astronut
Gentlemen, we need ideas for a new alien invasion-type film. Anyone?
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July 27, 2011, 1:02 p.m. CST
DAMMIT IT CUT OFF MY FREAKING TEXT - WILL SOMEONE FIX THIS SHIT PLEASE????
by Astronut
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Somewhere between Transformers 1 and 2.
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July 27, 2011, 1:03 p.m. CST
ould hI'm sure if they hadn't had licensing they wave been sued by Hasbro
by siouxfire
It's so much like the game with the aliens and all.
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You talkbackers are a great bunch of sea-men.
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July 27, 2011, 1:04 p.m. CST
YOU SUNK MY PLOT, SCRIPT, ACTING, FX, and JUSTIFICATION FOR HAVING A CAREER?!?!
by TakeItEasyMon
People were paid money to make this?
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July 27, 2011, 1:05 p.m. CST
blackwood: Something STARSHIP TROOPERS-esque would be great.
by THE_CHOPPAH
But Peter Berg has nowhere near the capacity for satire that Verhoeven does. Still, your post has me lamenting what might have been if Universal HAD given this to Crazy Paul.
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Neeson- "The red ones!"
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I mean don't hit me but it could be fun. Right?
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July 27, 2011, 1:06 p.m. CST
Also, go fuck yourself, you tasteless, whinging, retard of a single-brain-celled douche amoeba
by golden tribw
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I love how people ask what this has to do with "Battleship" as if the boardgame had a plot or something. The answer is of course that as long as you include naval battle and ships, you've got an excuse to do pretty much whatever and get a decent budget to do so. The name value on the property is just that; name value. I can already tell the alien design work is far superior to that found in Battle L.A. and Cowboys & Aliens. Keep in mind this movie is nearly a full year away from release, so it's curious how everyone is so quick to take a squat on it as if they've seen the finished film. But you're honestly going to tell me you don't want to see an alien invasion movie set on the high seas. Aside from short glimpses in the Transformers movies, the naval perspective and response is a pretty fresh angle on the genre. It seems to have all the character building blocks required for a big fun summer spectacular; Maverick punk ripe with leadership potential, smoking hot girlfriend, and her gruff dad... the commanding officer... played by Liam Neeson. Let the mayham commence. I'm a big fan of Peter Berg as a director. Very Bad Things, The Rundown, Friday Night Lights, The Kingdom, Hancock - those are all really good to even great movies. I'm confident he has the required skillset for action, humor and grand vision to keep this this concept afloat (pun intended).
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You post about a dozen times to say how lame a movie is. LOL what a waste of time you are. I get people who think it looks like crap (I disagree) and post to voice their opinion. But you are obnoxious because you WON'T LET IT GO. You think you're going to bring this movie down by yourself? That you are going to convince people who like it that it sucks? No. All you are doing is announcing to the world that you are insecure and that you need the faceless internet to give you a few pats on the back to make you feel good. Fucking pathetic. Plus, your first post that True Blood sucks pretty much invalidates any of your opinions in my eyes.
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July 27, 2011, 1:09 p.m. CST
Oh man .... I'm watching STARSHIP TROOPERS tonight in 1080p, good call. Great movie. Aliens done right.
by golden tribw
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So, if you upend the Hollywood Creativity Barrel... after all the good movies, mediocre movies, shitty movies, and The Human Centipede fall out... ...THIS movie is the remaining sludge that slowly trickles forth and gloops onto the marketplace. There are WRITERS STARVING IN AMERICA. There are beautiful, brilliant HOMELESS PLOTS in need of your love and attention. See to 'em!!!
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July 27, 2011, 1:10 p.m. CST
True Blood is awful, and you're a fucking idiot executor. I was happy to post once and leave it at that, but shitface mcMomsCunt had to complain that anyone could criticize this fucking embarrassment
by golden tribw
You're an embarrassment.
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July 27, 2011, 1:11 p.m. CST
WOW, and I can imagine the next film will be Chutes and Ladders.
by Stalkeye
Tsk. Shame, Hasbro, shame.
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July 27, 2011, 1:12 p.m. CST
stalkeye are you british or something? I've never heard it called Chutes (vs Snakes) and Ladders before
by golden tribw
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Make it happen.
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You keep on posting and prove my point with every post you make. Awesome. Keep it up!
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...when they find the strange thing floating in the ocean, I got all excited and thought they had somehow slipped a Cthulhu movie past me...with eric fuckin' northman! then something huge raised up out of the water...and instead of a squid headed god, it was a goddamned transformer. This will be a six pack and pizza rental, only for skarsgaard and neeson.
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And A-Team and Clash of the Titans and everything else... After the tragic death of his beloved wife, he had to throw himself into his work so he wouldn't fall into a deep depression. I don't blame the guy at all for taking on a lot of light genre fare.
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July 27, 2011, 1:14 p.m. CST
They're just asking for the headline: "Battleship sinks at the box office"
by Mel
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Berg is pretty funny as an actor though - nice comedic timing and delivery. I'm just largely glad he's doing this vs. a goddamn remake of Dune, because if the latter ever happened he'd likely need to be strung up and used for target practice.
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July 27, 2011, 1:16 p.m. CST
Executor, all you have done is demostrated you get personally offended when people insult True Blood, which is a godawful soap opera for redneck Twilight fans. Everyone with a brain cell in this talkback hates it. Die of a wasting disease you utmost cunt.
by golden tribw
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Im at work on set righ now. Just taking a break between takes because I'm bored out of my gourd. But thanks for the shoutout =D.
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July 27, 2011, 1:17 p.m. CST
*demonstrate, and by IT i meant BATTLESHIP not TRUE BLOOD, but they're both manifestly fucking awful so I guess we already have proof you're at the bottom of the humanity barrel
by golden tribw
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July 27, 2011, 1:21 p.m. CST
Is CHUTES AND LADDERS standard American parlance, then??? Serious question, because in Toronto/Canada I've never heard anything but SNAKES AND LADDERS my entire life...
by golden tribw
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July 27, 2011, 1:22 p.m. CST
This is something I would expect from the Simpsons
by David Cloverfield
Bart watches TV and a commercial comes up for Battleship: The movie with Liam Neeson, and Alien battleships looking like pieces from the game. I could see it. But holy shit, it's real!
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July 27, 2011, 1:24 p.m. CST
God forbid anyone should hate on *one of the most popular shows on television*!! Wait, didn't ALLY MCBEAL and BAYWATCH and FELICITY and EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND earn that same distinction!? LOL your whole point just went out the fucking window
by golden tribw
Idiot
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July 27, 2011, 1:24 p.m. CST
david cloverfield: (re Simpsons) Never forget the reality show episode with a poster for TIED TO A BEAR!!! hahahahahah
by golden tribw
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I must see watch it.
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July 27, 2011, 1:26 p.m. CST
Has anyone ever heard a computer make those noises when typing out info?
by Knobules
....PACIFIC DAY 1 Marinara Trench: Classified, Roger Taco Rango.... or whatever with blippy noises as the type pans out on corner of screen. Where do the blippy noises come from? What is the progam they are using? Who made those blippy noises? And other than the smoking hot girl this thing looks stupid.
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Even for a fanboy you are a fucking WHINER.
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July 27, 2011, 1:27 p.m. CST
Make me. This movie looks fucking awful and the only people cunting at me are the complete fucking retards who are looking forward to it.
by golden tribw
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Just fucking do it you blathering ass.
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what movies are not getting made because of this?? studios have to make money and this movie will make money, so they throw out shit movies in the summer to make the good ones in december and into awards season. there are still interesting movies being made, especially in the sci-fi genre, Moon, Sunshine, District 9, Elysium, Prometheus, Zero-G, etc etc...but if the crappy cash grabs didn't exist neither would those films...you're only part of the problem if you go to see this...I think this movie looks ok, but it is what it is...I didn't pay to see any Transformers flick, or the final 3 Pirates films...there's a very easy way to make sure you only go to see things of quality...the RT rule...over 85% Fresh and 7.8 average rating...anything under that can wait for HBO, now cue the whiners saying critics ratings don't mean anything, umm yes they do
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July 27, 2011, 1:29 p.m. CST
LOOK AT ME I NEED ATTENTION I JUST DISCOVERED MY PENIS MY NAME IS GOLDENTRIBE
by Rex Carsalot
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July 27, 2011, 1:29 p.m. CST
(1) I have seen more than one full episode of true blood. (2) I did not say it's LIKE twilight I said it's FOR inbred twilight fans. It is riding a wave of poorly written, overpopular vampire pap aimed at mindless idiots like yourself who lap it up. (3) s
by golden tribw
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July 27, 2011, 1:29 p.m. CST
I HAVE A CHROMOSONAL DEFFICIENCY MY NAME IS GOLDENTRIBE
by Rex Carsalot
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July 27, 2011, 1:29 p.m. CST
I WILL NEVER TOUCH A BREAST EVER IN MY ADULT LIFE MY NAME IS GOLDENTRIBE
by Rex Carsalot
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July 27, 2011, 1:30 p.m. CST
EVERY OPINION OUT OF MY HEAD IS PERFECT AND AWESOME AND EVERYTHING YOU THINK IT STINKY AND DOO DOO MY NAME IS GOLDENTRIBE
by Rex Carsalot
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July 27, 2011, 1:30 p.m. CST
(3) was shut the fuck up and (4) is lol at how you've assumed more things about me than I've assumed about the things I'm criticizing
by golden tribw
Yet I'm the asshole making stupid assumptions
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July 27, 2011, 1:31 p.m. CST
I SHOULD REALLY BE ON FARMVILLE RIGHT NOW BUT I LOVE ALL OF YOU MY NAME IS GOLDENTRIBE
by Rex Carsalot
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July 27, 2011, 1:31 p.m. CST
I WISH EVERY MOVIE COULD BE TRANSFORMERS MY NAME IS GOLDEN TRIBE
by Rex Carsalot
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July 27, 2011, 1:32 p.m. CST
I MASTURBATED A HUNDRED TIMES TO THE BLACK SWAN MY NAME IS GOLDENTRIBE
by Rex Carsalot
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I like Liam Neeson, but fuck, this looks like an abortion at sea.
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July 27, 2011, 1:32 p.m. CST
DID YOU HEAR THERE'S GOING TO BE A MATRIX 4 MY NAME IS GOLDENTRIBE
by Rex Carsalot
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July 27, 2011, 1:32 p.m. CST
You should probably figure out whether you're saying extreme versions of what I believe or the opposite, because you're not being very consistent
by golden tribw
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July 27, 2011, 1:32 p.m. CST
I WAS INTO MAGIC THE GATHERING BEFORE ANYBODY MY NAME IS GOLDENTRIBE
by Rex Carsalot
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July 27, 2011, 1:33 p.m. CST
For everybody who's said STFU GOLDENTRIBE in this TB, 10 more ppl have said HOLY SHIT THAT MOVIE LOOKS FUCKING AWFUL...
by golden tribw
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July 27, 2011, 1:33 p.m. CST
Just showing you how it's done, fuck-o. Now enjoy your "life" and whatever little response you're cooking up. Me, I'm going to go fuck a woman.
by Rex Carsalot
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July 27, 2011, 1:34 p.m. CST
Rex is deep inside his sister at this very moment ... while they watch True Blood.
by golden tribw
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THIS IS FUN!
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who gives a shit what people think after a stupid teaser trailer...I wasn't even going to comment on this talkback but people like you who feel entitled to have every movie that comes out be designed just for you is maddening...the AICN talkbacks have become nothing more than a collection of bitter 'I know better than you' assholes...this movie may suck, it may be alright, or it may be pleasantly surprising, lets wait and see...what I won't wait and do is label you a prick because you think you're the fucking authority on what movies should be made...who the fuck are you? you're a nobody in the vein of asimovlives who need to make a fuss on a movie message board to feel like a part of it all, but continue to hold yourself above it all and rain down judgement from your perch of perfect taste in entertainment
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July 27, 2011, 1:39 p.m. CST
WHEN MY ANAL SUTURES ARE REMOVED, I WON'T NEED TO BE HERE ANYMORE! (MY BOYFRIEND DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT ME!) LOVE, GOLDENTRIBE!
by RockHardTobascoSlimJim
I dunno. Seems kinda mean. But I guess it is fun.
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July 27, 2011, 1:39 p.m. CST
This movie looks horrifyingly bad. Poor Liam Neeson. (When's the Rihanna reveal, do you think?)
by MaxSchwartz
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You know, people often put crap like this in with Transformers and GI Joe for being IP's turned into film, but really they aren't even close. Transformers, and GI Joe, whatever you think the films (hated GI Joe and TF2 myself), they are based on characters in narrative. THis movie is indicitive of how stupid the studio system is, that they think the public doesn't know the difference. It's up to humanity to not give the studios your money for shit like this, because it will prove how stupid we all apparently are, and we will get more crap.
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July 27, 2011, 1:41 p.m. CST
Love how all the people defending crap and dogpiling Goldentribe are all using homophobic slurs. Classy.
by MaxSchwartz
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CEO: Gentlemen, we need ideas for a new alien invasion-type film. Anyone? MARKETING SUIT 1: Sir! What about aliens invading a major metropolitan city filled with snotty rich kids? CEO: No... it's been done. MARKETING SUIT 2:Oh, I know! What if we have aliens fighting the marines? CEO: Been done. MARKETING SUIT 3:Sir! What if we have them fighting.......... the NAVY...........? CEO: Goldfarb, you're a GENIUS!!
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PRETTY SNEAKY, SIS!
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I can't wait until the prequel sequel reboot.
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It's "Cowboys & Aliens", a play on "Cowboys & Indians", and it's a huge difference.
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It's basically a 2 hour long rube goldberg device in 3d IMAX. Also, there are going to be 9 sequels and 18 prequels to help fill in the backstory. This just in: a reboot of MOUSE TRAP: THE MOVIE is already planned and will be released *before* the original.
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You will NOT sink MY battleship, alien scum!
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July 27, 2011, 1:47 p.m. CST
vermithraxpejorative -- I agree completely, but I feel like it's 10 years to late to do anything about it. The cycle is in full force.
by golden tribw
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Just when you think you've got to the top.. OH SHIT I SLIDED DOWN A CHUTE! FFFFUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!
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Starring KATY PERRY as the hot chick in fetish wear who is blowing the director (me) several times a day.
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July 27, 2011, 1:48 p.m. CST
I wouldnt mind a RISK movie based on the French invasion of Russia.
by whatevillurks
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You see where I'm going with this, right?
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July 27, 2011, 1:49 p.m. CST
It's not RISK unless Australia and Chile both get involved. But hey a WW3 movie could awesome in the right hands.
by golden tribw
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July 27, 2011, 1:50 p.m. CST
Sorry am I thinking up clever monikers or am I too stupid to write at a kindergarten level? Figure out your angle before you reply any more, dumbass.
by golden tribw
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July 27, 2011, 1:51 p.m. CST
The trailer has been pulled already - from everywhere.
by Hint_of_Smegma
Gone from Apple, gone from yahoo, blocked on youtube. Evidently the producers are worried about the negative buzz already. Shame, I wanted to see if it's really as bad as the joyless morons infesting this site are proclaiming...I can't believe it is. Nothing is as bad as the joyless morons infesting this site proclaim. Except Fright Night 2011 that is. That's awful beyond belief but I'm always right and exempt from criticism.
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July 27, 2011, 1:52 p.m. CST
ummm hint of smegma I just did a hard refresh and the embed above is still loading for me...... Do you have adblocker/NoScript?
by golden tribw
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Seriously.
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I'm sure that's been said already on here but I really had to add that. Jeesus.
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because it was never in more than 285 theaters...transformers got 4 thousand screens...but it was still able to be made BECAUSE of movies like transformers
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accent is impeccable considering how strong his real accent is.
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of where Hollywood is headed.
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This mash-up of Tolstoy-Hasbro promises to be both a historically accurate account of the war and really, really long.
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next up -- taco bell: the movie
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It's laugh out loud-able
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July 27, 2011, 2:02 p.m. CST
Of all the games that would make great movies, I vote for Fireball Island
by David Thornton
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July 27, 2011, 2:02 p.m. CST
So the aliens fire white pegs and the US navy fires red ones then?
by empty_headed_animal
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...some of us can enjoy good, intellectually-challenging arthouse fare AND enjoy a big summer spectacle movie like this. I guess you're one of those tedious cunts who thinks everyone else is a wee bit beneath him, huh? Well, sorry to have to tell ya. You're wrong. Cinema is like any other kind of artistic stimulant...different styles for different moods. A lot of people are trying too fucking hard to appear special, when they're anything but.
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Boom chicka wow
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black market pandas. Fine exotic cuisine of the elite ain't cheap.
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THE MOVIE
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That looks epically bad.
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B-movie
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that Goldentribe puts olives up his mother's pussy, and sucks them out every night... interesting....
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July 27, 2011, 2:14 p.m. CST
I was hoping the Battleship film would be a true-to-life war film with wizened seamen fighting terrorists.
by Ted Knight
But the only weapons the terrorists have are giant plastic pegs.
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What's next? Tic-tac-toe?
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Will have to be an indie, art film. No corporate tie in.
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It's time to lighten up, go outside and take a walk and gain perspective on life. Anyone getting their panties in a twist over a movie needs to just take a deep breath and relax. There are more important issues and challenges to get upset over. Movies are to be fun and enjoyable. I have no problem with escapist mind numbing fun movies. This one looks like a lot of fun. Can't wait to see it!
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Lars Von Trier will direct an adaptation of Hungry-Hungry-Hippos for Universal and Imagine Entertainment. Michael Moore has also been signed on to the project in his first leading role.
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July 27, 2011, 2:23 p.m. CST
How can you cast Rihanna and leave her out of the trailer?!?!?
by cinemixtape.com
The woman is gorgeous! This movie looks awful beyond belief. "Hancock" probably should have been the end of Berg's directing career.
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Next Summer Ships Will Battle
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I know that Peter Berg is desperate to be the new Michael Bay, but this is just too ridiculous.
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July 27, 2011, 2:30 p.m. CST
You can't help but wonder just how these mad ideas come to fruition.
by Ted Knight
I suspect some studio exec has lunch with someone from Milton Bradley and Milton Bradley guy said "So how can we improve our product placement?" and the studio exec joked "Hell, lets just make movie versions of your games". THEN they ordered a few extra Grey Goose martinis and that cemented the bad idea.
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July 27, 2011, 2:30 p.m. CST
by pitofbenders: "And why Neeson would do this is beyond me" One word answer: paycheck.
by AsimovLives
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because by the looks of this, he would have fuckin' screwed the pooch!
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can someone fall lower?
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...lower your head in shame.
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you dont like anything fox has to offer, of abc, or cbs, or nbc, or cw, or syfy, or any other network or cable channel on tv, nothing at all looks good to you on tv, you hate it all, and when it comes to movies you dont like any horror, sci fi, fantasy, action, comedy, drama, or any other genre, you dont like any movie that is one of those or a combo, and then there is nothing left, you all literally like nothing, every fucking trailer i watch on here, nobody likes, for any type of movie, your all fucked, if your not going to watch this then what are you going to watch, from your taste in entertainment it looks like your going to watch either nothing, or everything your hating on cause your all fucked, this is going to be a 200 million cockaos extravaganza that is going to make 800 million dollars and itll be from most of you fucks...and me, cause this looks awesome
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Said he barely remembered making it ... Just a case of standing in the right place and saying the right lines ...
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July 27, 2011, 2:45 p.m. CST
"When did movies go to hell?" The moment somebody allows Michael Bay to direct a feature lehght movie and had a career, and thus influencing a whole generation of retards.
by AsimovLives
Peter Berg is his new disciple. And i actually liked PRETTY DIRTY THINGS. I feel about Berg as i feel about Zack The Hack Snyder: a what looked like a promissing new filmmaker descent into the darkest dephts of hackdom.
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and yes, true blood is garbage on par with twilight. Fact
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July 27, 2011, 2:46 p.m. CST
Nest, Ridley Scott will direct a movie based on Monopoly... hey, wait a minute!
by AsimovLives
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July 27, 2011, 2:47 p.m. CST
It's not that prefer "arthouse movies" over "popcorn flicks"
by Dapper Swindler
I just don't wanna watch shitty movies.
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July 27, 2011, 2:48 p.m. CST
billf, goldentribe has gained a perspective of life. In that entertaiment is getting stupidier and stupidier. And a society is always reflected by their form of entertaiment.
by AsimovLives
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July 27, 2011, 2:49 p.m. CST
If you're not sure if what you watched was a parody or not...
by Dapper Swindler
not a good sign.
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July 27, 2011, 2:50 p.m. CST
Let's examine Hollywood's track record on movies about board games shall we?
by Ted Knight
Jumanji was horrendous. Zathura had the exact same plot but was much more entertaining. Extra kudos to the producers for keeping Kristen Stewart frozen for most of the movie. But yeah, we're screwed.
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July 27, 2011, 2:54 p.m. CST
While we're at it, the game Battleship is pretty shitty too
by Dapper Swindler
All you do fire randomly until you hit something. There's zero strategy. It's boring as hell.
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why does goldentribe posts his comments in the subject line? Oh, Rihanna plays a navy officer, how weird.
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Aliens? Does it actually involve ALIENS? Or just stupendously laughable unimaginable human tech? Holy COW I can't remember the last time I saw a trailer this bad. I don't think one frame of it was original... or good. Skarsgard does look exactly like Kirby's Thor, though. I liked Hemsworth, but Skarsgard probably would have been the right choice for a Thor film that didn't have to connect to the popcorn Avengers saga.
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July 27, 2011, 2:59 p.m. CST
The producers missed the boat (um, no pun intended) on this one
by Ted Knight
by not casting Christopher Walken as ships captain. C'mon, this movie would be 10x better if we only got to hear him exclaim: "You sank *pause* my BATTLEship!"
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I'm not even 100% sure it's Rihanna, but I THINK she's the woman manning the big gun on the small boat throughout the middle of the trailer. You can tell I know a lot about military stuff.
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The Marcus Luttrell true survival story about the few Rangers that went up against a bunch of Taliban. Luttrell survived for days on the side of a mountain with bullet holes, cut and other wounds. Berg was promoting the book/movie well over two years ago. WTF? Anybody know what the delay is? FACT: There are too few war movies made these days. Everything is sci-fi, romantic comedy or superhero related.
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Tic Tac Toe: The Beginning
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http://tinyurl.com/viewmasterthemovie
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You know when you mimic a hack like Michael Bay you are officially the worst filmmaker in the world. Heaven forbid if this was just about naval warfare you know like the game. I thought this was going be like Das Boot and instead we get Transformers/Battle L.A./Skyline hodgepodge. I hope it sinks at the box office.
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July 27, 2011, 3:10 p.m. CST
I correct myself: the logical progression of where this leads is PET ROCK: THE MOVIE!
by Stabby
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When does the Yamato rise out of the depths and fire its Wave Motion Gun at the alien ship.
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July 27, 2011, 3:16 p.m. CST
A society is reflected by its entertainment. Good point. And Box's counterpoint is that everyone but him is whiney.
by MaxSchwartz
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Starring Tim Curry in the 1980s. What is it with boardgame movies that make them suck?
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Anyone who says otherwise has no CLUE. But, that's LIFE - it's no CANDYLAND out there. Just a bunch of HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPOS. It's a CHECKERED response, I know, but had to get if off my CHESS.
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It hits my nostalgia button. the old fuk that I am. Avatar was basically just a glorified View-Master slideshow anyway.
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are conspiring to take over the world.... one man, with 4 magic red chips is the only one that can stop them................................." connecting next summer.....
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I thought it looked OK.
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You know you want to see this happen.
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Is that it doesn't even look like a Peter Berg film, or like something that had a $200 million price tag, for that matter. That's not to say Berg has a particular visual flair, but there is a baseline aesthetic quality to his stuff that isn't present here at all. What's even stranger is that Berg is working with the same cinematographer and DP that he's worked with on pretty much all of his other stuff. Color me confused. I don't know why people are breathing a collective sigh of relief that he didn't get to remake Dune. The book was bad, and the original movie was even worse. No need for anyone to go back to that.
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A spy is sent behind enemy lines to capture the red army's flag. Stratego II: Revenge of the Miners
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God, Hollywood is full of a bunch of unimaginative retards. I guess the reason we get shit like this is because idiots continue to pay to go see them.
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Do it right, fuckers.
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MICHAEL BAY. And I used to think Berg was going places. Silly me.
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July 27, 2011, 3:36 p.m. CST
Where's the part where Liam Neeson yells in his gruff Irish accent....
by Marlboroliteman
you sank my battleship!!
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King This!
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Wait! I take that back.
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So Peter Berg can count on all of you to come to the World Premiere at next years Comic Con, right?
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July 27, 2011, 3:53 p.m. CST
So Peter Berg can count on all of you to come to the World Premiere at next years Comic Con, right?
by film_is_dead
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July 27, 2011, 3:53 p.m. CST
whoever commented on this studio passing on MOUNTAIN OF MADNESS, for this, MAN-YOU ARE 100% CORRECT
by BILLY
This just looks dumb. I love sci-fi, alien invasion flicks...but damn this looks dumb. It doesn't sound OR look interesting. Then, knowing its based on BATTLESHIP is like shitting on a bowl of shit, and calling it sunday w whip cream on top. $200 million. WHO IS RUNNING studios these days?
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COMMANDER: E-6! OFFICER: Sir, I cannot in good conscience carry out that order! COMMANDER: I SAID E-6!
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IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SHAKESPEARE IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT A BOARD GAME WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? ALL I WANTED WAS BATTLESHIPS AND ALIENS FIGHTING EACH OTHER AND THAT'S WHAT I GOT WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING IT'S AN ACTION MOVIE IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A PLOT IT'S A KIDS MOVIE BROOKLYN DECKER IS HAWT EXPLOSIONS IT'S A SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD LEAVE YOUR BRAIN AT THE DOOR LETS SEE YOU MAKE A BETTER MOVIE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIFE HATERS HATERS HATERS HATERS
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The problem with judging a society by its entertainment is that type of judgement is archaic and subjective by nature. It is also an over-generalization. Sure there are mindless movies as well as thought provoking and serious artistic films. But in the big picture of life I really don't see another alien invasion movie that may be nothing more than an upgraded special effects movie reminiscent of classic B movies of the 1950s as something to get upset about. If you like this type of movie that fine and if you don't that is also fine. The problem I have is when people judge others for their subjective likes or dislikes of a movie. When we judge others we are really communicating something about ourselves.
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July 27, 2011, 4:01 p.m. CST
Dammit! I DID have high hopes for this. Did, as in, past-tense...
by Royston Lodge
I was hoping that they'd simply put together a simple, straightforward, badass movie about naval battles - preferably set in WWII or something. Or maybe a story about naval war games where something goes wrong (like a rogue captain or something) and both sides start firing at each other for real. Instead it's yet another stupid alien invasion movie. Fuck this shit.
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July 27, 2011, 4:03 p.m. CST
Aren't we tired of aliens yet? At least the Bay/Speilberg types?
by skycrapper
Now some Cthulhu shit rising out of the South Pacific would be something worth paying attention to.
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Rated PG-13
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July 27, 2011, 4:04 p.m. CST
billf, it is to be upset about if the majority of stupid bullshit enteraiment like this movie are the majority and the accepted norm. Which is.
by AsimovLives
If stupid movies like this were the wexception, and they were made with B-movie budgets, like in the movie of old, then they would be this stupid silly exceptions that it would bother nobody. But thsi kind of stupid movies are made with budgets of 200 million dollars. They are flagships designed to be aprpeciated by the masses. noyt by a selected limited public, but by the mainstream. So, yeahh, you better worry about this kidn of blockbuster dumbness, because being the movie for the majority, forthe mainstream, they reflect the society of today, and what they care and favour. If this fucking movie flops, then there's hope. Everytime a fucking dumb ass dumb blockbuster fails at the box office always brings me a bit of hope that not all is lost. And by the way, everything matters. What's wrongis the passive aloof attitudes like you seem to be showing. If Rome burns you think you are not going to get burned with it? Think again, buster.
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that's pretty much it from all the chesse eating surrender monkey's vocabulaby for their defenses of shit like this movie.
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July 27, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST
Another movie for the usual cheese eating surrender monkeys studio owned slave-ass boys geekoids. They will love it.
by AsimovLives
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If not then why is he appearing in everything all of a sudden? :(
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July 27, 2011, 4:09 p.m. CST
enjoy eating your bowl of shit, this is not "dumb fun", its torture
by BILLY
Apparently you like getting slapped across the face and told " You're stupid and vacant".
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I am a mental health therapist by profession and have been for many years. Yes many things do matter but a mindless science fiction films which causes this much passion to arise in people I do think it is an overreaction. Life provides us with many things to get concerned about such as our health and family and our job. But when people resort to flaming and insulting one another over their entertainment choices I think perspective is lost. Life is difficult and seeing a mindless science fiction movie can be a healthy choice in relieving anxiety and tension.
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Well at least the space ships look cool as fuck. But when in the hell did aliens come in to the game. Change the name, And the movie could be cool.
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When do we see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJH7Zwb-0I4
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July 27, 2011, 4:12 p.m. CST
I can see the Hollywood spitballing going on when they thought up this movie.
by skycrapper
Brilliant!
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NEXT!
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July 27, 2011, 4:16 p.m. CST
seeing as how I SERIOUSLY think this is THE WORST fucking idea commited to film...something tells me
by BILLY
It will make $150 million opening weekend. America love garbage(except for me).
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Every where you look on the internet, the only references to Battleship are dismay and ridicule. This restores my confidence in fanboys all over the globe. May this bleed Universal for hundreds of millions
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Hordes of genetically enhanced hippopotami threaten humanity. Box office gold.
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July 27, 2011, 4:27 p.m. CST
Come on people. Lets as a group point our venom at Paris Hilton and Kim K
by Knobules
If we combined our power of spit and fire to combat the two true pigs of today's media we will defeat the two headed beast easily. And then they will fear us.
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July 27, 2011, 4:29 p.m. CST
If they aren't making Mr. Bucket into a movie, there wil be hell to pay
by Rex Carsalot
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Flames, flames... on the side of my face!
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July 27, 2011, 4:38 p.m. CST
monopoly! ( its really an ALIEN INVASION fantasy flick, the hero? The monopoly guy-duh!)
by BILLY
In theaters SUMMER 2013
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July 27, 2011, 4:38 p.m. CST
Can we stop talking about how stupid it is to make the game into a movie?
by Dapper Swindler
And start talking about how stupid the movie actually looks now in the trailer? We all had our chance to process the stupidity of the concept when it was announced. That ship has sailed. Now we have a trailer that is just as stupid to deal with.
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July 27, 2011, 4:40 p.m. CST
SCRABBLE !(its really an ALIEN INVASION flick ..ah fuck it, who care.Just blend 1 part alien, 2 parts $300 mil budget)
by BILLY
Also SUMMER 2013
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July 27, 2011, 4:43 p.m. CST
@goldentribe, I haven't kept up with this film since the initial announcement
by kevred
When I first heard of it, I thought it was laughably, depressingly bad. Haven't paid it a moment's notice since. In a way, I'm glad, because ignoring any news about this junk preserved the full element of astonishment when I saw the alien moment in the clip. This way, I was able to feel the full impact of its stunning mediocrity. In one sense, I feel a little glad - maybe this indicates that we're starting to get past the point where we could so readily demonize another country to be the baddies in a Battleship flick, and had to resort to aliens to find an acceptable enemy. (Though after watching this clip, there's no way in hell the humans could win.) But another part of me thinks that no, this is just thoroughly stupid, and the lazy filmmakers couldn't be bothered to do the work it would take to make a smart, fun sea-combat film a la Hunt for Red October. I think a lot of people would be too dumb to see HFRO in the theaters now, but surely there are still enough people to make a decent film halfway profitable. Sigh...maybe not.
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July 27, 2011, 4:44 p.m. CST
poor poor Peter Berg.Pissing away all that goodwill he built up
by BILLY
Someone at the studio must have nude pics of the guy. Petey, always thought you were a capable director-pretty decent with the action genre...but good god.what have you done?
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And it's awesome... http://cinemassacre.com/2010/05/11/mr-bucket/
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Apologies, had to fit some Peter Berg puns in there somewhere.
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Just because you lack passion and interest for this subject, doesn't mean you are more right then the people who do. Just because you are a cold fish who lacks passion doesn't mean that those who have passion are in the wrong, you know what i mean? I'm certain there are many people in here who can't give a toss about thas things you find so important and worth of debating. You get my drift? Shit movies are impotant because they are big business which involves thousands of people, even more if we include their destined target audience. And each and every one of this movies is a reflection of our society. That is as it is. You better accept that. and you also better accepted that there are many people who are not so amused by the turn to the dumb that seems so prevalent today. Where dumbness is heralded as fun entertaiment and intelligence is blamished as pretentious and elitist.
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July 27, 2011, 5:01 p.m. CST
This trailer would work a lot better with the Village People singing "In the Navy" or Voiceover guys saying, "In a world without ideas..."
by siouxfire
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Those who bash True Blood are simply dip shits. Just watch it... I'm getting annoyed by anything with Vampires is being labeled "gay" because of Twilight. True Blood is a lot of fun with some straight up great violence and comedy. I think most of those bashing it can't afford HBO or are so deep in the closet they need to bash anything they think people might think is gay because "They're so not gay" yeah right.
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July 27, 2011, 5:12 p.m. CST
I think billf and asimovlives both have excellent points, to be completely honest
by golden tribw
billf I was heartened that someone who took the time to tell me off actually managed to sound like a rational, level-headed adult in the process. So thank you for thereby differentiating yourself from the rabble of asinine nutjobs who defend the indefensible on the basis of subjectivity. That said, I'm not sure you are accounting for the pervasiveness of popular films. These are what the next generation grows up watching, rewatching, and quoting; this stuff gets under your skin. I'm not going to pretend to have hard proof let alone detailed statistics, but something tells me the extreme objectification of women witnessed in Transformers 2 and 3 in particular does not just transmit into 500,000 brains -- many of them young and growing -- and then harmlessly disappear. Or if it does, the once, what about the relentless procession of similar crap reinforcing one hideous stereotype after another, ad nauseum, on television, in pop music, and in the theatre? Where are people supposed to get different messages counteracting that black men are funny when they like you and scary when they're mad? That women are born merely so they can be owned, ogled and penetrated? That women are only relevant or useful to the extent that they are attractive? That gay men are all hairdressers and preening lapdogs who exist for comic relief? That the United States does GOOD and whoever it is fighting at any given point is EVIL?
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The battleship firing looked awesome. I'm sure the film will be total ass though of course. Might be better than a Transformers film though.
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July 27, 2011, 5:17 p.m. CST
myphdisdoom: the only people using *gay* as a pejorative in this talkback are the ones *defending* true blood
by golden tribw
I didn't call it 'gay' at any point and I don't know that it has anything to do with homosexuality, in an inferred way or any other way. Twilight (does it have anything to do with homosexuality either?) is awful. True Blood is, to me, another instance of poorly written trendy vampire mythology being shoved down pop culture's throat. I watched the first two episodes and found them absolutely awful. As a matter of fact, until two months ago I was living with a gay roommate who loved True Blood -- I mention this, first, because even despite that fact I didn't make any connection between True Blood and 'gay'; and second, because it means that I've seen bits and pieces and scenes of lots of episodes since the first two, and I've found all of them equally unbearable. Every character seems like a trashy southern cliche. To me it is awful. So you like True Blood, fine, I'm not going to insult you automatically for that, but you have to acknowledge that reasoned dislike of TB is entirely possible, has nothing to do with homophobia/bigotry or 'affording HBO' ( :s ) . . .
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You forgot the ever-popular: THIS MOVIE WILL MAKE SO MUCH MONEY You know, because profitability = quality. Just ask Walmart.
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where are the minorities?
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TEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGETEAL AND ORANGE I Love Berg but this is one trend that HAS To stop
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When you start with name calling and making assumptions about me that I lack passion and am a cold fish I do have to chuckle. You don't know me! I am passionate about many things in life. I just know that there are somethings in life not worth getting upset about and this movie is one of them.
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I do see both of your points and I am not totally in disagreement with you. I think if low quality blockbusters do make a ton of money it doesn't give the studios any incentive to up the quality in their products. So I do think that movie goes do deserve movies that are of a good quality.
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It was only for a flash, but she was in the trailer. Hopefully they find a way to get her out of that uniform at some point. Not sure how credible she'll be fighting aliens though, so I guess we'll see.
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to stop sinkin' my motherfuckin' BATTLESHIP.
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He makes bad movies watchable.
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July 27, 2011, 5:52 p.m. CST
billf, Holywood producer Mike Medavoy once wrote: Movies are the literature of today's generations. And he's right.
by AsimovLives
The place in culture that was once destined by literature is today occupied by movies. And TV shows, we can add. You want an example? In horror genre: The accepted notion that werewolves in myths they can get killed by silver bullets and infected by the bite of a werewolf was invented by the movie THE WOLF MAN. The notion that sun kills vampyres was invented by the movie NOSFERATU. Everybody now takes that as cannon, when in fact it's not found in any of the old myths. In real life, there's a lot of common misconceptions which ar based on movies and Tv shows. for example the expression quantum leap to represent a big change, when in reality it means the exact opposite. a quntum leap is the least amount of energy transfer that can be measured, equivalent of the jump of an electron from one orbit to another. Napoleon was not short, he was of average, even lightly taller height at the time he lived. Copper bullets do not spark when they hit metalic surfaces. You can't shot out a doorlock unless using proper ammo for the effect. Th result of a shotgun shot to a perosn's torso is as bad as the kickback the gunproduces on the shooter, which is, not enough to throw anybody a few feet backwards. Germans are not humourless, french are not cowards, brits are not repressed, and the majority of texans are not rednecks. George Washington didn't crossed the Potomac during daytime. WWII wasn't won by the USA alone. Hitler didn't had one ball. The Battle of Stirling Bridge was actually fought on a bridge, and that's why the scots won. Spartacus was not cruxified at the Via Apia. The city of Tanis was never lost. The romans didn't persecuted the christians because they hated their religion, but because the christians acted seditious toward roman laws and costums. Jerusalem didn't had a hypodrome (the Ben Hur black and white movie is more acurate on that regard, as the race happens in Antioch, which had). The romans didn't had slaves rowing their galleys, but trained and payed roman citizens. Slaves didn't build the pyramids, but egypcian peasants during the time of the year when there was no crops to tend to. My point being? There's lot of stuff you take for granted that's in fact constructs made in movies which have ben taken for granted and as for real and now pervase all of society. It's mroe influencial in everybody's life, even yours, then you might believe. So, no, don't dismiss the perverse effects that a dumb movie can cause on society. One might not be enough, but a load of them do. They already did.
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July 27, 2011, 5:53 p.m. CST
I'm not passionate about this movie, i'm passionate about the mvoie's stupidity, and the culture that allows it to exist.
by AsimovLives
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July 27, 2011, 5:53 p.m. CST
You're named after a vagina and your favourite insults are pussy, bitch, and little girl. I don't think anyone's in danger of confusing you for an intelligent, tolerant, or useful human being.
by golden tribw
Har har, I'm intolerant too because I use bad words to hate on shitty movies. It's not the same thing at all so don't waste your time. You came out of the woodwork to assert that you're not anti-gay (I'm pretty sure the guy was talking about the other person making up a boyfriend for me by way of insulting me) and in the process reaffirm your strident, incessant sexism. I'm sure the rest of the readership is as impressed with you as I am. Pussy, little girl, vagina, blah blah blah. Gender issues much?
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But that takes the taco.
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July 27, 2011, 5:56 p.m. CST
ganymede3010, what about UNKNOWN? It wasn't offensively bad but it was pretty damn uninspired
by golden tribw
I think they just wanted to rehash Taken and didn't care how transparent it was as long as they got Neeson on board and it got made before memory of Taken's awesomeness faded from the popular consciousness.
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How could they even consider making this before Hungry Hungry Hippos? This makes me want to launch into a diatribe on the decline of our culture. But I won't. You're all welcome.
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i agree with all the sub par micheal bay comments, this looks absolutely shitty. sadly the days of studios making "mosquito coast" are long gone--its all the culinary equivalent of mcdonalds now... while i like some of these blockbusters, its a trade off--in the 90's (early and mid) there was not much to geek out about- i remember being excited for "fire in the sky" just because you never saw anything in the realm of sci fi-but again back then youd also get a movie like "fearless" and not everything was a franchise, reboot,remake,game, ride etc etc as far as talkbacks, please -goldentribe- its very annoying to have to read your diatribes in general, but extra annoying to read them in the post heading, try and be a reasonable adult (assuming you are one)
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July 27, 2011, 6:03 p.m. CST
Hungry Hungry Hippos would just be a slight rejiggering of RISE OF THE APES. Instead of getting smart they get Hungry!!
by golden tribw
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July 27, 2011, 6:05 p.m. CST
fuck off mister furly, this looks awful is all I've been saying so if it's very annoying reading my diatribes (about things you agree deserve them?) maybe skip a line, dunce
by golden tribw
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"So, raise your hand if you thought that was a Russian water tentacle."
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Like 10 other people mentioned Hungry Hippos. I have a terrible feeling this is how movies get made...
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I made this argument around TRANSFORMERS 3, but I will adapt it slightly. There is a lot of trash out there in the blockbustersphere, mega-budget garbage that I often find inoffensive and sometimes amusing but would never qualify as good. And yet, speaking specifically of sci fi, which this movie-based-on-a-board-game apparently is, I can't help but think all it really does is allow space for genuine artists -- the Blomkamps, the Jones', the sneaky sneaky Verhovens -- to get their movies made. Good movies stand the test of time. Bad movies fade away. Yes, they will make a lot of money from people just looking to be entertained -- but they won't last. And I think it's really, really dangerous to go on about audiences for these films as if they are genuinely retarded, subhuman, bottom feeders, destroyers of the culture. They're not. I'm not -- I enjoyed TRANSFORMERS 3 at the time (though at the moment I can't remember a thing that happened in it), but I'm not defined by it. I think this line of absolutist thinking is dangerously close to cultural sociopathy. I don't even have to turn my brain off to watch something stupid -- I can enjoy something stupid while at the same time recognizing it's stupid. I can't imagine the rest of the world is so different, and the kind of Master Race of Nerds all too willing to paint wide swaths of the population with the retard brush while at the same time extolling their own taste and discernment... it just reeks of crazy.
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July 27, 2011, 6:23 p.m. CST
Nobody's going to make the argument any better than you just did, blackwood.
by MaxSchwartz
But I think what you're getting at, maybe even without realizing it, is that every side of this argument is characterized by hyperbole: - this is so awful only idiots like it - only pretentious elitist assholes wouldn't like this - this is awful, racist, bigoted, stereotype-ridden crap made purely for profit without any consideration for or element of artistry - everything is subjective, it's a popcorn movie, transformers 3 was great fun, it's all art so objective criticism is both impossible and unwelcome unless it outright endorses nazism - lots of people like this because lots of people are stupid, just look at them (get fat from lack of exercise / get sick from failure to eat properly / vote republican / whatever) - you can't call 80% of the population stupid because that's baselessly imposing your viewpoint on them So where's the equilibrium point and how do we arrive there? And how do I make twihards understand that Interview With The Vampire is a thousand times better?
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I think you're right about how myths from movies can be accepted as historical fact when most movies twist history in order to tell a story. I see historical movies as historical-fiction, similar to historical novels, but the problem is that most views don't see historical movies as works of fiction. One of my degrees is also in European history so when I talk to friends about historical movies I do like to point out the inaccuracy. Good points there!
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I think I've agreed with everything Goldentribe and Asimovlives said on this talkback. IS THIS REAL LIFE???????????????
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July 27, 2011, 6:33 p.m. CST
Bravo blackwood! I have never heard the arguement against the extollers of their own cinematic virtue put better
by TallanDagwood
Well said and well done
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I concur on your opinion on Liam Neeson's being in EVERY MOVIE EVER since his wife died. I've been thinking this for a while now. Holy shit, including "Battleship" he's already got 4 movies coming out in 2012. Yeah, I don't think he NEEDS these roles for the $ as much as he needs them to keep his mind off things, to cope. Man. That really sucks.
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July 27, 2011, 6:38 p.m. CST
Wow! I haven't even watched the teaser yet, now I'm a little scared.
by SID 8.0
Oh well here goes.
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...you're a mental midget and your taste's all in your mouth.
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on any of my best ever lists. Although the wing suit scene is the absolute best action sequence I have ever scene.
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July 27, 2011, 6:42 p.m. CST
I'm glad you see it that way, YourMomsBox. The most fitting words to describe someone you disagree with are bitch, pussy, and little girl. Keep it up.
by golden tribw
You've lost all credibility because you're still responding. If I'm overly worked up about a movie, you're overly worked up about other people getting worked up over a movie. There is no way to spin it so that you aren't a complete craven twit. Why would you care how I spent my day? Why would you presume to have any bloody idea what I did today?
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..That anybody who is TRULY IMPRESSED by this movie (Not just enjoys mocking it) would also vote for Sarah Palin?
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As apparently the only USN type here who actually wears the retarded blue/white/gray digi-cammies, allow me to say, "WHAT. THE. FUCK." You spend ungodly amounts of cash making a sailors vs aliens movie, I'm okay with that (in fact I'd love that). You tie it to the game Battleship for what? Name recognition to bring in the small number of idiots that pay to see a movie based on nothing more than a nostalgic title? Okay, gotta make your buck. You put an actual battleship in it to justify said name. Mmmm, all right, even though all the battleships are moth-balled/museums that have good throw weight, but no real range compared to modern weapons and tactics. You prominently feature my beloved DDGs (destroyers) and have a lone LT make an initial boarding from a RHIB. Okay, glad you paid the navy and some consultants at least a little attention to get the look right, but don't bother to get the ops correct. How about some petty officers? Masters at Arms? Chiefs? A goddamn Ensign or JG? Then you frame your alien tech so that you can have your operating-in-three-dimensions spacecraft mimic the moves of a 2D boardgame? Okay, guys, the mouth-breathers already bought a ticket. You don't have to keep referencing the damn game. There is so much the Navy can be shown doing in a full theater war, and there is SO MUCH MORE the aliens could be doing. Why would they hobble themselves so much? Then, most egregious of all, you shove every hackneyed cliche you can find into the script and ensure that actors of the caliber of Liam Neeson are reduced to overacting and possibly saying the potential line, "You sank my battleship!" Liam, I get that you needed the money. Young dude, I get that you're channeling Tom Cruise/Ben Affleck. Hot girl, I totally understand that you are Charline Theron-esque hot and don't need to bother acting. Writers, I get that you're so desperate to be produced that you'll write whatever you can to make it big. WHAT I DO NOT GET IS WHY THE NAVY COOPERATED NOR WHY THIS PIECE OF (potential) GARBAGE GOT MADE VICE ANY OF THE OUT-FRIGGIN-STANDING MODERN NAVAL FICTION THAT CURRENTLY EXISTS. I've been DESPERATE for a surface warfare movie for years. I want my Top Gun. I want my Red October/Crimson Tide. The last ship movie that was any damn good was In Harms Way. This is unlikely to be it. I am a blue blue-water sailor. Damn it.
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happening. The effects look cool that's something positive right?, right anybody?
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This Bay imitation is fucking ridiculous. Seriously, the world only needs 1 Michael Bay, lol..... It's not even the fact that the ship transforms or sounds like Transformers when it does so. The direction style of everything else is Bay-like, too, just not as good. I think Bay is a great director and has a genius eye for constructing film visuals. Say what you want about the dialogue, story, etc of his films. Did this really have a 200 million budget? Potentially a massive bomb next May. This looks..... bad So the pitch was, "Battleship: Transformers on water!" and they green-lit this shit with a 200 million budget? based off a tabletop game? really?!
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http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/battleship/trailer Yeah, looks pretty sad, really.
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July 27, 2011, 6:55 p.m. CST
Goldentribe... this does look like shit, but you hate everything anyway, so what's the difference.
by Happyfat73
Seriously, you're in every talkback I read, waxing profane about how much everything sucks, or how stupid everyone is compared to you. I swear, your vagina yields more sand than a fucking quartz mine.</p> </p> You seem like a really, really, really miserable person. Of all the people in the world it must suck to be, it must suck to be you most of all. Go hug someone. Or watch a movie that you love. Or engage in discussions about things you like, rather than things you hate. Or, failing all that, just shut the fuck up.</p> </p> All that said, what's up with the bloody water-jumping spaceship? That doesn't seem very efficient.
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Fucking-A!!!!!!!!!
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Hungry Hungry Hippos was teh first thing that came to mind when seeing this trailer...i think someone said genetically enhanced and colored hippos out the eat the world ala pirahna 3d and Night of the Lepus
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July 27, 2011, 7:04 p.m. CST
happyfat73, maybe you only read the talkbacks to shitty movies. For every movie I loathe there is one I love.
by golden tribw
Watchmen, Star Trek, Up, District 9. Inglourious Basterds, Zombieland, This Is It, The Road, Red Cliff, Antichrist, The Wolfman, Shutter Island, How to Train Your Dragon, Iron Man 2, Toy Story 3, Inception, the Expendables, Machete, Scott Pilgrim (the first time), Never Let Me Go, 127 Hours, Black Swan, Tron Legacy, Hanna, Thor, Tree of Life, and Winnie the Pooh. Those are the movies I saw in theatres in 2010 and 2011 that I quite liked, if not without reservations. Even the Justin Bieber movie was reasonably entertaining. So what the fucking shit hell are you talking about?
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And I may have forgetten one or two. And there are a helluva lot of awesome movies out there from more than three years ago.
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this movie isn't a reflection of modern society. It is going to tank at the box office. The Dark Knight is coming out next summer also and might be the biggest movie of the year. You are fuckin full of shit, once again. People like to see Michael Bay's Transformers movies because the action scenes are balls to the wall off the hook marvels of modern technology/special effects, and you're jealous that he fucks supermodels and you are a janitor at an insane asylum. This movie is a reflection of the corporate power over society nowadays. They just want to make a profit, so they copy whatever is popular. This is a pathetic Transformers knock-off. Just like all the vampire shit everywhere is partly a knock-off of True Blood and Twilight. People don't want this shit. They are being force fed this bullshit by soulless corporations because society made Transformers and Twilight popular. Your opinion of Transformers is irrelevant. The last hour of Transformers 3 was some of the most genius action direction and art directon and effects ever put to film. Does it really matter if the dialogue was cheesy and story had plot holes? It's an action movie, asshole.
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Sounds like living in the command center in the basement of your mom's house is making some of you a bit cynical. Its just a movie. Are you as judgemental of the the Big Mac you ate for lunch? Almost the same price as a ticket except you're putting it in your body. Losers love to bitch.
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Pray he rolls a 6 first
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Transformers is not going to fade away. Transformers is one of the most successful action franchises of the past 10 years. "Most successful" doesn't really come close to doing justice to how popular they are, even if Transformers 2 really, really sucks. They are going to be shown on TV and watched on DVD for years and years to come.
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July 27, 2011, 7:19 p.m. CST
Who is to blame for Crystal Skull being so awful?
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
What did it make, a billion dollars? I paid to see the film, it's my fault the dialogue and story sucked ass?
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July 27, 2011, 7:22 p.m. CST
Does it really matter if the [Transformers 3] dialogue was cheesy and story had plot holes? ABSOLUTELY!
by golden tribw
The answer is yes, because what could have been an innocuous movie about robots beating each other into metal dust and destroying chicago in the process had to be stretched into three hours of incessant, awkward objectification of Rosie Huntington Whitely -- I don't even care if you put the heroine in her underwear for the entire movie but can it have something to do with the story, can she have some iota of acting talent, and can it just go without saying instead of EVERY SINGLE MALE CHARACTER (and some women!) taking the time in EVERY SINGLE SCENE to tell this girl how lustworthy she is? Do people honestly watch this and nod their heads sagely, *yes she's hot just like he says*, instead of wondering why everyone in the Transformers universe is an obnoxious, obsessive, sociopathic pervert? Can we have a black character who isn't there just to make the white people look 'cool'? Could the movie maybe not have been three hours long? Could Sam's mother not ask him about the size of his penis and interrupt the narrative to offer him a sexual self-help book? Could she maybe not be given half an hour of screen time to spend high on pot brownies? Could any of it possibly make the tiniest amount of sense? As in, there is nothing some random human can tell Megatron about the power politics in place that he doesn't already know. Human slave labour is worthless to a race of giant machines (especially when they have the all-spark to reproduce themselves and WE CAN'T BREATHE IN SPACE where their new planet is going). Why was optimus prime tangled in cables for 45 minutes? Couldn't be sloppy writing, nope, that's realism! A bunch of douchebags are going to (once more) call me a whiney asshole for posting this but those are just the glaring issues I can recall off the top of my head a full month after seeing the movie. It was a complete fucking train wreck. I WON'T SAY THE ACTION SUCKED. I WON'T SAY THE EFFECTS WERE BAD. I do make an attempt to be honest. But the only setpiece that truly had me engrossed was the confrontation with the giant snake-digger in the office tower. I didn't care enough about anyone or anything I was looking at to find anything else in the movie especially interesting. And at 2 hours 45 minutes, that's a lot of complete shit to sit through for 10 minutes of interesting effects/action. How is it not worth criticizing this movie when it had so many people and so much time and money put into it, when it's one of the most widely viewed/experienced new entertainments (in any sense of the word) of this calendar year around the entire world?
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AH man now you made me want to watch Starship again. got a 10 min painting out of it too http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/9048/starshipt.png good fucking classic
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I think you are severely understimating the level of suckitude this movie will reach. It shows Hollywood continuing down the wrong road towards shittier and shittier fucking movies. I defend a lot of mindless "pop corn" movies, but a 200 million dollar Michael Bay imitation based on a board game takes the fucking cake of wretched corporatism invading the art and entertainment world. I have a very high tolerance to cheesy action movies like Bad Boys and GI Joe, but something like this deserves to be derided, imo. Maybe you don't see the difference, but I do lol.
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Why does every action shitfest have to squeeze in an asinine love plot? The first part of this teaser looks like the worst parts of Pearl Harbor and Armageddon. Why can't saving lives be enough to drive the plot? Why does EVERY movie have to shoe-horn in a romantic entanglement? (including every batman movie)
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July 27, 2011, 7:28 p.m. CST
I thought sure "Real Steel" was "Rock-Em Sock-Em Robots: The Movie"
by Mephisto the Great
Might as well be. I'm still gunning for a "Boggle" movie where alien letters show up and demand to be assembled into words to save the universe.
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July 27, 2011, 7:33 p.m. CST
hey I agree with a lot of criticisms of Transformers 3
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
It could have been a hell of a lot better. Megan Fox instead of a Victorias Secret model for starters. ;) It had a basic plot to drive the movie along from action set piece to the finale at the end, it was a good action movie. Most action movies have stupid plot holes in them, but for some reason they get a free pass because they weren't directed by Bay. It's a movie that has magic that turns little mechanical objects into giant talking robots, and you are complaining about plot holes? A lot of the comedic elements fell flat, true. You've never seen an action comedy before? Really?
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July 27, 2011, 7:35 p.m. CST
I WANT A REMAKE OF CLUE DIRECTED BY PAUL VERHOVEN WHERE COLONEL MUSTARD IS FISTED TO DEATH WITH THE WRENCH.....
by CreepyThinMan
By Professor Plum who SODOMIZES Miss Scarlett with the candlestick after she scissor fucks with Mrs. Peakcock using the lead pipe that Mrs. White had earlier used to smash in the skull of Mr. Green who was a closeted homosexual and had been selling kiddie porn to Colonel Mustard.
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July 27, 2011, 7:40 p.m. CST
You know what would be great? The Other Guys(with Will Ferrell) but with Transformers
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
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July 27, 2011, 7:42 p.m. CST
HOW CAN ANYONE WITH A FUCKING BRAIN DEFEND THIS FUCKING SHIT?!? THOR, CAPTAIN AMERICA AND X-MEN FIRST CLASS ARE PERFECT EXAMPLES........
by CreepyThinMan
Of popcorn entertainment that is well Written, Directed, Acted and doesn't fucking treat its audience like they're retarded 5 year olds. Sure, they weren't NETWORK but I also didn't feel like I had lost fucking I.Q. points when I walked out of the theater. I hope everyone involved in Battleship fucking dies a fucking slow and fucking painful fucking death. Next up, The Play-doh Trilogy from Brett Ratner.
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But I love it. "Which weapons?" "All of them." The Select-o-Script slot machine turns out another gem.
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July 27, 2011, 7:54 p.m. CST
winona_ryders_pussy_juice, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WOULD BE GREAT? A SLEDGEHAMMER TO YOUR FUCKING SKULL AND WATCHING YOU SQUEAL LIKE A FUCKING PIG!!! ;)
by CreepyThinMan
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I would have preferred a battleship from the future...vs present day...
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July 27, 2011, 8:13 p.m. CST
It's an inescapable standoff between US Battleships and Alien technology. Big FUCKIN' guns go BOOM! What's not to like.
by RowanM
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...we can't have nice things America. Stop paying to see garbage like this and the studios will stop producing them, simple as that. Demand more (good writing, acting, directing) from your movies, and you'll get it.
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..you're defending "Battleship" - which looks an enormous "pile" - then you're part of the problem. If you can't see there's a problem, you're part of the problem.
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July 27, 2011, 8:20 p.m. CST
hahah a quadruple response from my sad little fan club. Don't think I'm clicking the subject to read it, dumbass.
by golden tribw
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it might pass for your average sci-fi romp with good effects and paper thin plot. But that tie in adds so much fodder for hate.
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Happy! Happy! Happy!
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Spoiler alert: At the end of battleship it leads into space invaders.
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So I'll watch it. It can't suck so bad that I'd rather watch Sex and the City 3.
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Seriously i watched it again the 2nd time around. I must of not paid attention the first because I didn't know that ugly blond was liam's daughter. LOL. You know, it's actually pretty damn interesting and cool, the ships are fuckin awesome and everything. Thats until the end when the name BATTLESHIP comes on the screen and HASBRO in smaller letters underneath. I just can't stop and laugh. It's so retarded LOL.
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July 27, 2011, 8:54 p.m. CST
This movie might be a blessing in disguise
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
Was it's budget really 200 million? I'm pretty sure this is going to bomb pretty hard. Although it has the May release going for it.
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Why?
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July 27, 2011, 9:13 p.m. CST
brings back fond childhood memories of playing Battleship with my old man.
by Brannagins Law
seriously. he was abducted by aliens in the middle of a game once.
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because just like De Niro..the guy would honestly be in a Max Hardcore Film if they waved a decent payday in his face.
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July 27, 2011, 9:39 p.m. CST
I will say this...Brooklyn Decker has Nice fake Eye Pokers
by conspiracy
So we have Liam Neeson, Rihanna and Sport Illustrated Swimsuit Model Brooklyn Decker all in the same $200M flick? Let me just say this...judging by this clip, Michael Bay is no longer the King of Retard Movie Making
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I was molested by the neighbor girl whilst she sunk my sub.
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for them to be so paranoid as to pass up Del Toro's movie for this piece of shit? What the hell did that woman and the alien ships have to do with the fucking game?
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I feel like I've seen this five times already. I would have been more interested in At the Mountains of Madness. Oh well, I guess it's the studio's choice at the end of the day, sadly.
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Tagline - Shit Will Go Down
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Waiting for "Ring Around the Collar: The Movie" and the sequel "Tidy Bowl Cleanser". Hollywood is truly scraping the bottom.
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After reading through the majority of this talkback, I am again left with the question of why you dedicate so much of your time to drawing attention to yourself (CAPS, profanity, etc.) when you are clearly capable of making insightful posts that bring to light the true nature of your seemingly frequent hatred of certain movie material. I've brought this up to you before in a past TB and you attempted to explain that you're merely a product of other talkbacker's comments, and that you sometimes find yourself unable to control the outbursts that you direct at those who have different opinions/interests than your own. But I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that you just go over the line too often. And considering how much I enjoy reading those posts that you write coherently and thought-provokingly, I wish that wasn't the case.
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July 27, 2011, 10:43 p.m. CST
We need a generic 'block goldentribe' button for this website
by Deadmouth
Because in the words of Alan, he's a re-tard. That is all I have to say for now.
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I'll most likely see it for Neeson, but I'm not looking forward to the movie after that teaser.
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Although I could say that to anything
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But I can't wait to see the movie adaptation of Operation with George Clooney
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Neeson's dealing with the death of his wife by thorwing himself into his work if his had not passed he have turned down most of the cheesy shit he's been doing for the past 2-3 years. Its just the way he chooses to deal with the pain.
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July 27, 2011, 11:49 p.m. CST
Looks shitty but what do expect from a movie based on a board game?
by darthSaul666
Yeah I might watch this on regular Canadian cable in like 6 years from it's release date if there isn't a repeat of a Star Wars or Batman movie on that particular Saturday afternoon...
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Not every useless idea from some forgotten 20th century pop culture curio has not been used yet.... We still have a few quarters left before we become completely intellectually bankrupt!!!!!!
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I'm sure no one is paying attention that hard anyway.....
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Fucking silly.
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... I'd like to see a few more trailers for this before I decide whether or not to go see it.
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He's also garnered a lot of attention because of the great success of Taken. The way this movie was pitched he probably hoped it would be a success, not a joke.
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There's no other explanation for this movie's existence.
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. . . is this set 15 years ago? Anyhoo, pure popcorn, lookin' forward to it.
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Better than I'm sure Battleship will be!!!
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Plan 9 is no longer worst movie in history....... Battleshit wins!!!!!!
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Fill in your pie...or die!
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Balls will drop!
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One thing leads to another...they all fall down!
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Not as dirty as it sounds!
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Like Scrabble...but in 3D!
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This movie, as with all of its genre, is full of it!
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Words can kill...but hard words kill harder!
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Just when you thought it was safe to categorize!
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How can you remember what you will choose...if you can't remember what you've already chosen?
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Draw...or draw!
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July 28, 2011, 2:31 a.m. CST
Well I'm not one to prejudge a flick but this looks iffy and it looks like Bay is behind it.
by The Founder
I can't say if the movie will be bad but that trailer looked awful.
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July 28, 2011, 2:32 a.m. CST
Rihanna was in the trailer for a sec. If u blink u missed her.
by The Founder
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Staring Rush Limbaugh and Rosie O'Donnell.
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....really!? Couldn't they have found something, ya know, GOOD to spend all that money on?
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C'mon Berg, wheres that shocker sequel????
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No, but in all seriousness, someone said that Clue was a bad movie. No man, it's a good one.
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I don't care how bad it is, I'll pay to see it.
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AICN is awesome, I mean you folks do a really good job at keeping up with everything out there in the world of film, you could do without CAPONE, but hey even retards were allowed to hang out with JESUS. I just don’t know what to say I mean I’m just in awe of everything you do. If I was a hot female I would literally suck all of your small cocks. Or if you are all gay, I know one of you are I would at least give you a hand job. The one thing I really want you folks to do is get more info on THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, get all commando with that shit and get onto the lot or location they are shooting and post those naked BALE pictures, dam he is so hot. Well I can at least say I hate twilight, does that do anything for anyone who hates this talkback. Also hate Michael Bay as well, so please I hope I’m on your good side when all my crazy gay fans read this. I should stay on the topic of film though since this is actually a website about films, I sometimes forgot what I was talking about, you know, just forget, like that movie memento. The other day I was walking down the street and I saw black dude with a sack of weed, I bought it and went home to smoke, but it turned out to be grass, actual grass. What the fuck was that guys problem, or what was wrong with my eyesight to be exact. I just saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows part 2 last week, it was good up until the end. I thought they were all going to start fucking and making out with Dumbledore. You know like Harry starts sucking off Dumbledore’s cock cause he’s gay, and then Ron shows up to fuck Harry in the ass, that way Dumbledore and Ron have a Potter sandwich! Though that’s not how it ended, it ended with a creepy 19 years epilogue. I mean for real, I think all of you would have preferred that ending. I was forced to go see two Justin Timberlake movies last month, Bad Teacher and Friends With Benefits! I really think he needs to stop acting just because he was only good in the social network and that was because he was playing a faggot! I also heard Lady GAGA has a vagina, I would love to play pen the penis with her someday. You know some people say JEWS run Hollywood, I think they got that confused with Israeli. The only thing I see in California is a bad time and AIDS! So it surely cant be them. Did you know my favorite movie was Sin City, I say was because Robert Rodriguez hasn’t made a decent movie sense. I used to listen to U2 until I found out BONO was protestant. FUCK the English I say! The only good thing to come from there was The Sex Pistols! I think I figured out why Amy Wine-house died last week, she woke up and realized she was English! I love my jibber jabber! I also tuck my dick in-between my legs while I look into the mirror while THE SMITHS play! They say NETFLIX is going to take over home rentals, I say bullshit, not until they at least carry porn. You know they say JESUS saves, I say he turns you GAY! This is what happens when you run out of drugs, you get on here and ramble! Anyone like OUTKAST, they need to put out another album before this decade ends! Yesterday I was on the toilet and was shitting blood, I then got a cup and drank the blood from the toilet. I said yum so I made my sister put her period in a cup, then I put a few cubes of ice in it and went AHH! I then became a VAMPIRE and asked TIM BURTON if I could be in DARK SHADOWS, he said NO! Yet that was because I could actually act he told me, made me fill a little bit better! You know they say Stanley Kubrick was a genius but my dad called him a pervert! How do you take 20 years to make a soft core porn film? AT LAST WE WILL REVEAL OURSELFS TO THE AICN TALKBACK, AT LAST WE WILL HAVE REVENGE!
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Any family drama or biopic can now be renamed "The Game of Life the Movie" by Milton Bradley. Any historical war film set in the 1800's can now be called "Stratego the Movie". You hear that Kubrick! Barry Lyndon is now "Stratego the Movie"! I want "Checkers" the movie! Followed by "Sorry" the movie! BTW: I saw Othello the other day, but it didn't have any black and white chips to turn over. You figure Lawrence Fishburne would know how to turn over some white chips. Very disappointing.
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A team of surgeons in a race against time to rebuild a man's face before his head explodes!
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C'mon. The Twilight films are nearly done and you'll need a new franchise!
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I’m just trying to have a good time here, these talk-backs are supposed to make you laugh people. Don’t take things so serious as someone on this talk-back used to say. I cant help I have a large thought and then it just piles over onto the talk-back. Sometimes my thoughts will be small and ill say a word or two. Just so you know its all in fun but never mind that for now lets get back to talking about film. I think MUNICH is SPEILBERGS best film but my dad favors ALWAYS. You know I can stick my entire hand up my ass cause I was gang-raped last year, no joke there, it hurt! Those fuckers never got caught cause I was afraid to tell anyone, then I turned gay so I guess it didn’t matter. If I had to pick between buying LOTR on blu-ray or STAR WARS, I would for sure go for the light saber y’all! For all of those who didn’t like the prequels, you are stupid as fuck. LUCAS has controlled of your life, he made sure you would always work a dead end job and be stuck! He made sure EWEN MCGREGOR would never be a leading man again after he talked smack about THE PHANTOM MENACE! Just let that be a warning to all you cum gobblers out there! Any whore, I thought THE MATRIX was great, didn’t really like RELOADED but thought the last one was ok. Anyone who likes AVATAR must realize that THE SMURFS movie will be better. I cant stand people that do reviews in BLOGS, and I think ever since EBERT lost his jaw he has lost his mind! You know he gave THOR ½ stars or something like that, and he talked shit about that JACKASS dude that died, I hope his cancer kills him slowly! Peter Travers is usually on point, except for the reviews for the STAR WARS PREQUELS, so as a matter of fact I hope he dies of AIDS! HARRY is usually good as well but he said he feel asleep during INCEPTION, so I curse him with the IRISH curse! I tend to hate remakes and the remake of OLDBOY they are making with SPIKE LEE just makes my brain pop, I mean well have DENZEL WASHINGTON going around beating up the KKK and saying “GODZILLA AINT GOT SHIT ON ME!” I hope they both die before this actually happens and the people who produce it. Do you think it is a little much to use the words dead for people that make movies, your probably right for sure, but it’s about the same as sports fans reactions, and I don’t watch sports, I got man boobies, so I really wouldn’t know actually. Is it just me or does Peter Jackson get more credit for LOTR more so than the author, a paradox this is! Why can’t AICN have a music section for hip-hop, rock n roll, and death metal, that would be heaven and I forgot I’m living in hell as a wise RASTA once said. Why do you think black guys have big dicks and most white dudes don’t pass six inches, I think it might have been a curse from the GODS above, whatever we did I sure am sorry about it. Is it just me or is SEAN PENN wound up just a little to tight with politics, doesn’t he realize that type of behavior only works at the OSCARS. Time is funny as life goes on cause you realize how ugly you are now and how hot you were when you actually thought you were ugly when in all reality you weren’t, so you junior high kids, enjoy it while it last. Do you all consider this to be anarchy or just me being a douche bag, id rather be a douche bag than be a fan of TWILIGHT! By the way, has there ever even been a good review on this website for a TWILIGHT movie? Please let me know before hell freezes over. Why is TOM HANKS so nice, I mean I heard he is so nice that you cant really ever say anything bad about him, you would be considered a real jackass or jerk if you did. I’m trying to figure out one bad thing to say and its hard to do but here it is, LARRY CROWN & THE DA VINCI CODE! Does anyone know when that LEO kid from TITANIC will win an OSCAR, I mean he was in THE DEPARTED and still couldn’t win! Have you ever seen a woman fuck a turtle, its kind of gross, but I’m sure there babies will be pretty. Well I think I’m starting to run out of ideas here, I have been going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and goinggoing and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going ! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU WE WONT STOP!
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July 28, 2011, 4:51 a.m. CST
200,000,000 DOLLARS HAS BEEN SPENT ON THIS FUCKING TRASH...THINK ABOUT THAT....AND FUCKING RAGE!!!
by CreepyThinMan
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So the rest of the movie is our ships fighting the alien ships which are for some reason at sea the whole time? Hope this can tide us over until Ridley Scott makes his Monopoly film.
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July 28, 2011, 5:21 a.m. CST
I think a lot of people are underreacting to how bad this movie looks!
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
Seriously, all you fuckers complain about Transformers 2, GI Joe, some even bitch about The Dark Knight, saying the end of the world is coming because Nolan put a 4th act in his masterpiece, but look! Look at this shit! A 200 million Battlefield movie that is a carbon copy of Transformers! A Michael Bay knock-off based on a board game!? Lol wtf?!
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July 28, 2011, 6:12 a.m. CST
phategod2...Neeson needs to find a more respectable outlet for his pain...
by conspiracy
like shooting heroin or buying Cambodian Child Prostitutes; either of which would be less destructive of his career than signing on to shit like this.
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Except that I have no comment. Make of that what you will.
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...of having to make a movie out of a board game. I mean really, the reason why you don't typically do things like this is that there's really not enough information there to provide a wholesale plot to adapt. So, it's like, "Fuck it! If all I got is ships and pegs on a board, I'm going just make it the most bizarre, fucked up movie I can imagine!" I don't know. Looks like a rental to me. I'd have to be a fun movie to get over the presumption of dumb that comes out of having a boardgame be the basis of your film.
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Pin or be Pinned! 2012
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the standards are low for this culture
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"You're It" 2012
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Their War our Lawn, 2012!
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At last an appearance from the only person on AICN even more tiresome than the proudly tasteless ignorant dipshit who's been riding my jock for 48 hours butthurt that I insulted his favourite mouth-breather vampire-trend redneck soap opera. Genderbender it's gotta be your mom's vulva he's named after, so maybe you could both just envelope one another in an ouroboros of recursive stupidity and vanish from our universe altogether. Take True Blood with you -- it's so unabashedly, stupidily, trashily godawful that homo sapiens can only improve without it.
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July 28, 2011, 8:54 a.m. CST
Christ this trailer even looks like a *parody* for a fake movie based on the board game...
by Prof. Pop-Cult
All that's missing from the joke is "Directed by: Michael Bay" followed by a series of over-done explosions and shaky cam.
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Logged on today looking for a review of Cowboys and Aliens. Instead we get stupid fury about bullshit. We are geeks of all sex's, color and whatever. Just fans. I thought. Now It is just a bunch of mean PC, "I am more intelligent or better at being MEAN than you" BS thrown back and forth like monkeys and thier crap. Good BYE Dam some people are desperate for attention. Go outside, drink a beer and watch the clouds roll bye. Life isn't ALL garbage. Dam.
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Seriously FUCK OFF Universal
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Why is everyone so mad at this? I could give a shit less how much they spent on this nonsense. It's not my money. It's their lesson to be learned, let them learn it. If it's your money, I understand the outrage. Hollywood has been blowing wads of cash on movies like this for as long as I can remember, so why is everyone acting so surprised and getting so mad about it? Is this your first day here????
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July 28, 2011, 9:58 a.m. CST
Do you misanthopic dickheads realize that Hasbro is a production company?
by Motherfucker Jones
That Battleship is their 5th movie with several others in production? That they've been telling stories to get kids excited about their toys since the '80s cartoons? Do you realize what they are doing with their movies is page right out of the Marvel playbook, right down to the Paramount partnership? Do you realize Hasbro has it's own TV network, The HUB? Does it matter if they want to sell toys? It didn't when you were worshipping the Transformers cartoons. I know when I was a kid, if I really liked a movie, it sucked if there were no toys, and a really cool cartoon made me want the toys. Why is this bad? Quit being pretentious, joyless, hate filled, unemployed haters and realize these are movies made for you to have fun and it's ok to do that. And if they want to revamp the battleship game with movie sounds and alien ships and updated technology, and tie in action figures and vehicles, that's ok, I'm sure most of you either have some toys of your own or would at least be envious of my personal collection. And remember, Hasbro Pictures is not ruining movies, you stealing movies off the internet is what's ruining them.
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July 28, 2011, 10:09 a.m. CST
And Taylor Kitcsh would make a way better Crow than Bradley Cooper, and I like Cooper.
by Motherfucker Jones
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July 28, 2011, 10:29 a.m. CST
That's what I remember from playing the game as a kid...
by moviemaniac-7
Fucking my superior officer's daughter. Ah, those were the days.
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July 28, 2011, 10:32 a.m. CST
Ill be the onlyone to say it,but it's BATTLE- SHIT,the movie.But dont worry studio,suckers like me will somehow pay to see it.
by frank
Cause I'm a movie watching sucker
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So of course it continues to be made. Get angry at the paid customers of all these crappy films. And if you pay to see this crap, then you are part of the problem.
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July 28, 2011, 11:14 a.m. CST
Hey...I LOVE dark skinned, impoverished, 3rd World bisexual women!
by conspiracy
Hell...I've done more than my share to support them over the years; usually at the rate of $35/night plus a few more bucks and maybe breakfast if they bring along their daughter.
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Food based movies are next! After comic books, video games, board games, sitcoms, and 80's toy lines, food is the final frontier for Hollywood!
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July 28, 2011, 11:39 a.m. CST
$35 a night? Where the hell have you been shopping, conspiracy?
by THE_CHOPPAH
I've been shelling out upwards of $50 to $60 a night for such exotic company. I could use that extra $20 a night to make sure the ladies' kids are properly stocked up with candy, Ssip boxes and airplane glue.
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July 28, 2011, 11:40 a.m. CST
your moms box, you look worse than he does at this point
by MaxSchwartz
Goldentribe might be an angsty, excitable, pretentious, elitist arse, but after establishing himself as such he has posted at length in this talkback beyond insulting the film. You have engaged with absolutely nobody except him, and even then only to tell him over and over again -- in an overtly and concertedly sexist manner -- that you don't care what he has to say. You wrote days ago that you "couldn't even read [his] posts any more" and yet you have responded DOZENS of times since then, not only unprovoked but actively provoking. You look every bit as immature as he does, especially in light of the fact that Goldentribe has (sadly but frankly) contributed more to the discussion here than you have. I can't decide which of you is more pathetic for continuing to respond back and forth, but I'm leaning in your direction.
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July 28, 2011, 11:42 a.m. CST
The ony thing I agree with you: THIS IS JUST SAD NOW completely applies.
by MaxSchwartz
But it applies equally to you. Ball's in your court, and/or Goldentribe's. I wonder who will turn 13 first.
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Daddy is played by Adam Sandler.
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July 28, 2011, 11:54 a.m. CST
Now witness the POWER of this FULLY Armed and Operational Battleship!
by aphextwin
Fire at will, Player 1
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July 28, 2011, 12:04 p.m. CST
careful rupee88: laughably hypocritical, paradoxically self-righteous morons will berate you for your self-righteousness if you suggest such things
by golden tribw
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July 28, 2011, 12:13 p.m. CST
Get angry at the paid customers of all these crappy films.
by Astronut
I could not agree more with this statement. It is all that really needs to be said when discussing these horse shit films.
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Don't know if that's been mentioned anywhere on this site yet.
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And forget the airplane glue...I find that a few Pixie Sticks brought from the states and a jug of Jamaica spiked with Vodka keeps um lucent yet pliable until I'm finished warming up with Mom
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July 28, 2011, 12:28 p.m. CST
You are obviously young and not much of a New Hollywood fan astronut
by Continentalop
Ex-wife of Peter Bogdanovich who was an art director, producer and major contributor to a number of films. Targets, Last Picture Show, Paper Moon, Bad News Bears, The Man With Two Brains, Broadcast News, Say Anything, Bottle Rocket, etc.
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July 28, 2011, 12:28 p.m. CST
posting angry thoughts about an upcoming shitty movie on this site is like screaming at the wall.
by Squinty CGI Flynn
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I don't want them pliable. I just want them to shut the fuck up and watch.
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Polly Platt was a writer, set designer and all-around utility on Peter Bogdanovich's earlier films. She was also his wife, whom he left for Cybill Shepherd. In fact, it's often acknowledged that the quality of Bogdanovich's films suffered after he and Platt split up. She went on to work behind the scenes in important roles on such films as TERMS OF ENDEARMENT and BROADCAST NEWS. Ms. Platt was a true professional. She's owed at least a cursory Google search on your part, astronut. Please, by all means, CHOP yourself.
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You're not even a good guesser. heh
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July 28, 2011, 12:43 p.m. CST
My longtime rival continentalop is prone to assuming beyond what is easily discernible.
by THE_CHOPPAH
All I could see from your comment about Ms. Platt, astronut, was that you were scornfully ignorant and, at least at that moment, acting like a fuckpuddle.
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Whatever. You freaks make this person sound like everyone on earth should know who they were when the reality is, they are not a household name. Give it a rest with the drama.
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I don't think she should be a household name, but we are on a movie website where cinephiles come to discuss movies. So I don't think it is much to expect people to know who she is. Kind of like being on a boxing forum and someone said Buddy McGirt or Jacob "Stitch" Duran just died, you might expect most diehards would be familiar with their names.
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July 28, 2011, 1:09 p.m. CST
Hideo Kojima gonna sue! Can't believe no one mentioned the resemblance to Metal Gear Rex.
by SierraTangoFoxtrotUniform
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July 28, 2011, 1:13 p.m. CST
I don't expect everyone on this site to know who Polly Platt was.
by THE_CHOPPAH
But I do believe people with immediate access to search engines to seek out basic facts they might be unaware of. Your question came not from curiosity, astronut. It came from a place of scorn and resentment for your betters. Take it easy, astronut. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while.
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Shit, first you got to catch up with me ;)
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July 28, 2011, 1:22 p.m. CST
Any midget with a monocle and a cigarette holder can see that we're rivals, continentalop.
by THE_CHOPPAH
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Or maybe Vermin Vundebarr?
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July 28, 2011, 1:38 p.m. CST
Some of the people on these boards come off as overly dramatic, narrow-minded, self-important clods
by Astronut
We all know who you are. And speaking of those types, Choppa, since you're dishing out advice on when to stop talking, you might want to scroll back through the thousands of rants typed by your own particularly narcissistic hand.
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July 28, 2011, 1:38 p.m. CST
After watchign this trailer it makes me want to sink this fucking movie. and all the Holywood mentality that allows this shit to happen.
by AsimovLives
I havebn'ts howed this trailer to any of the people i know. but if i do that, their first reaction will be puzzlement and they will ask me if this is for rea. Then they will tell me to go fuck myself for having subjected them to this abomination. And they will be right to do so. Unfuckingbelievable!
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You said you ahve a degree in european history. This means we have a shared interest in common. And considering that i'm portuguese, thus an european, i think that we could have a lot of stuff to chat about in regard to our mutual interest in history. History is just so cool, isn't it?
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Of all these CGI alien spaceships all looking the fucking same !!!!!!!!!!!! Even Falling Skies which is actually a very good series, suffers from this flashy looking high tech spaceships and crap. I want an honest to God FLYING DISC or a triangle. THAT'S what people have been seeing for over 60 friggin years.
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You liked Abrams Trek? That is one of the most sexist chauvinistic movie i have seen in the last 20 years! What's your deal, girl? How could that movie escaped your fem-radar?
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People can be rivals ans still be friends and gnetlemanly toward each other. For example, we are also rivals in how we view THE DARK KNIGHT, but that doesn't mean that just because of that we can't get along and agree on other subjects. You know what i mean?
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I'm not jealous of assfucks like Mickey Bay, i'm jealous of talented peolle like Christopher Nolan. Jealous and in awe at the same time. True talent does that to me.
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July 28, 2011, 2:10 p.m. CST
When even winona_ryders_pussy_juice question the logic of a dumb movie like he's doing with this one, you can be sure this one of made of pure fail.
by AsimovLives
If this movie can even make winona_ryders_pussy_juice puke in disgust, then it's time to close the doors and turn off the lights. This baby is dead in the water, pun intended.
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I listed a bunch of movies I found enjoyable in the last three years. STAR TREK was one of them. It had plenty of issues -- hence my disclaimer that I liked them, but "not without reservations." I also included ANTICHRIST on my list, and that is one of the most explicitly, stridently, brutally misogynistic movies I have ever seen in my life. I do not view movies exclusively through some sort of feminist prism. I am not, by most standards, a feminist. Frankly, I dislike the word feminism. I just call things as I see them, so when a movie is so outrageously sexist that it seems to be beating its audience over the head with hateful, bigoted bullshit -- as was the case with both TRANSFORMERS 3 and HORRIBLE BOSSES in the last couple months -- I tend to point it out.
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July 28, 2011, 2:14 p.m. CST
Peter Berg made this movie instead of DUNE.
by Stereotypical Evil Archer
He's a dumb shit. I used to like his acting.
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July 28, 2011, 2:18 p.m. CST
I'm sure i'm not along in my suprise to find that Shia Lebeuf is not in this movie.
by AsimovLives
He has the uncanny ability to star in the worst movies of the year, WALL STREET 2 excepted (which was not great, merely OK). So, how come he's not in this movie as well? Isn't he in a quest to over-expose himself to the nausea of audiences everywhyere?
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July 28, 2011, 2:23 p.m. CST
Abnd why in the bloody hell there is a love story in this movie?
by AsimovLives
Anybody can tell from this trailer that the love story is just a pile of flacid pudrity served with all the cliches known to mankind. And even in the movie's own universe it doesn't make a lick of sense! So why the pandering, so why the waste of time? This shit makes no sense. So this movie wants to be a dumb movie about heavy navy warships against aliens. Whatever. But was all this love story crap necessary? To what part of the audience democrafics are they cattering to with that shit? Who is going to watch this movie and have any interest in wasting 20 to 30 minutes of their lives enduring the movie's love story? Who is going to watch this movie for the love story? Who? Do the Holywood people even understand their own movies anymore?
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Unsung hero of the New Holywood generation.
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July 28, 2011, 2:29 p.m. CST
Inspired by my fellow talkbackers above, from encefoward i shall call this movie BATTLESHIT. It's so apt.
by AsimovLives
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How was Horrible Bosses bigoted?
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But rivals suggest someone who competes with or challenges you. Choppah has a long way to go before that happens. <p>
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July 28, 2011, 3:09 p.m. CST
"Peter Berg made this movie instead of DUNE." THANK FUCKING GOD! There is mercy in this world after all.
by AsimovLives
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July 28, 2011, 3:10 p.m. CST
continentalop, the_choppah competes for awesomeness. You should take that as a compliment.
by AsimovLives
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I am now official full
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I am now official full
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I'm not a PhD in gender studies or anything, so this is just what I can remember off the top of my head as an average guy who went to a movie for fun with some friends: - Jennifer Aniston as a raving nymphomaniac: no attempt was made to give her anything funny to say or do, she feels like she's actually at the butt of the joke that is the whole movie because she got conned into being a half-naked slut for half an hour of screen time. She earns neither laughs nor anger from the audience, and she doesn't even commit crimes at the level of the other bad male bosses; she exists only to be looked at. - playing up the idea that a woman 'can't really' sexually harass a man (the unspoken line being because he'll always want to bang her -- though this only works in the universe where your dentist is Jennifer Aniston!) is frankly insulting to both sexes - the blond mother from MODERN FAMILY plays Kevin Spacey's wife. She's a good actress and certainly funny, but she doesn't even get to do anything in this movie. She's a woman and she's pretty, so when a main character wants to get his dick wet, this married woman fucks him in 5 minutes flat and then no longer has any lines of dialogue. This example is especially cut-and-dried. - The main characters ask their nav guide 'Gregory' (who speaks with a middle eastern accent) what his real name is; it's Atmanand. They try to pronounce it and fail miserably. He tells them that's why he goes by Gregory, because Americans have a hard time pronouncing his name. At this point it's inclusive, quasi-feel-good humour, but then it suddenly switches gears back to frat-boy racism because all the main characters tell him his name is too weird, it sucks, they're just going to call him Gregory. I think you get the idea so I won't type more. It was a fairly enjoyable movie, I'm not trying to rip it to shreds or anything, I just noticed a lot more than I usually do that the laughs were mostly generated by the main characters disrespecting people who were not straight white males.
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ABRAMS TREK is one of the most terrible, pudrid, insulting fucking movie i ever seen in the last 10 yerars. THe fucking movie is stupid and insulting beyond compreention. It's fucking Michael Bay in space. And i can't evne believe you have noti noticed the blatant sexist about the Uhura character in that fucking movie. In the fucking movie, she's this piece of meat hardbody who acts like a teen queen. a drama queen who gets pissed off becasue she can't get into the cool kids ship (adn thus acting complely unbecoming of a military and an officer and a gentleman) and then she goes on a diatribe on her boyfriend (Spock) to manipulate and pressure him to get re-asigned to the A.S.S. Abramsprise. And Spock, who's a comptly pussy in that fucking abortion of a movie, complies without question. Is that Uhura? Is that Spock? Is that Star Trek? And isn't that fucking chauvinistic sexism? Uhura in the fucking movie is a whore who goes into teen moody rants because the little pricess can't get what her wishes! The character then goes on full whore mode and sexually manipulates her botfriend to get her wishes, going compelrly against the orders that was issued to her. In military terms, that's FUCKING TREASON! And you had no issues with that movie? When the only female character of notice in the fucking movie is one of those who acts with the most abjectional lack of moral and zense of duty and discipline? And who acts like a whore? Did you watched the same movie i did? Or is this one of that weird ass american thing where everybody got so hypnotized by the fucking movie that nobody can seem to see the stupidity and retardness that infects that fuckign movie from the first to last minute? Really, i'm puzzled as hell! Like the inquisition in monty pythons, that was certainly unexpected.
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July 28, 2011, 3:37 p.m. CST
Horrible bosses. i think that's a movie that everybody can relate to. Who has never known one?
by AsimovLives
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I hardly remember Uhura in that movie. I hardly remember Bones or Scotty or Anton Yelchin or Eric Bana in that movie. Mostly I remember Kirk and Spock and Old Spock -- and CGI alien beasties that looked transplanted from a Star Wars prequel. What the fuck do you want from me? Every time I mentioned Star Trek I said it had issues. Your most recent post included the question, 'And you had no issues with that movie?' Put on your reading comprehension hat for fuck's sake. I never held up Star Trek as an example of good gender politics. I included it as ONE in a HUGE LIST of movies that I MOSTLY ENJOYED in the last three years. If I forgot that the main woman was a skank, whoop-tee-fuck. Why are you so upset about it?
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July 28, 2011, 3:52 p.m. CST
Jesus Christ on a cross this looks fucking appalling/retarded!!
by genrefanboy
Rihanna for fucks sake rings alarms bells straight away she is a terrible wannabe who uses sex to sell her crappy music she should just make some extreme hardcore porno already & get it out of her system....... This movie looks so bad it deserves to register a massive $$$$ loss. ILM are not cheap so why waste their talent on this pile of garbage & pay the sky high budget with no name talent.....Neeson is just taking the money here everyone else is glad to be working its not like anyone wants to give them a decent acting job!!! $200m budget according to Imdb so with marketing thats $300-350m tops this will make $100-150m worldwide including home video so they will only lose $200m minimum!!!!!! its also a Pearl Harbour/Transformers rip-off without any of the Bay talent..........
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Which is more stupid? Watching a short teaser for a movie that isn't going to be released until May of NEXT YEAR or thinking that the FIRST teaser is actually the synopsis of the movie? Get off your Tandy computers and start evolving. I am holding back the tears from laughing at one sad attempt to be funny after another. Who hear has actually read the script? Oh yes, that would be me.
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Give us something to raise our expectations or get the hell out of. What a waste of a post.
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July 28, 2011, 4:15 p.m. CST
Peter Berg is usually a solid director, but man, this flick looks awful.
by Orbots Commander
What, does he have gambling debts to pay down or something? And WTH is Liam Neeson doing in this thing? Don't tell me he turned down Spielberg's 'Lincoln' for *this*.
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I've read that Spielberg is getting ready to shoot that long gestating flick. After Neeson dropped out of the title role, I don't remember reading who's playing Ol' Tophat.
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I included it as ONE in a HUGE LIST of movies that I TOTALLY HATED, and the very mention of it gives me gastritis. I have never felt such disgust for a movie since ARMAGEDDON and PEARL HARBOR. And one of the reasons for that was the complete whorification of Uhura. "If I forgot that the main woman was a skank, whoop-tee-fuck. Why are you so upset about it?" The fact you are a hardcore feminist who takes no shit from even the slighest indication of cahvinism from any movie, perhaps? And don't forget, ABRAMS TREK was writen by Orci and Kurtzman.
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I know which movie not to see in 2012. And considering that's the Year Of The Bat, that choice is so damn easy to make.
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Not quite sure why Neeson dropped out (I think he got sick of waiting for Spielberg to get started on it). In any event, he seems content in the last couple of years to make dreck; however, I suspect the man is still grieving his wife. He signed on to the A Team right after she died and i dont think that's a coincidence (he was just finishing the very heavy drama "Chloe" when his wife died - so I'm pretty sure he wanted something fun after that). He has done some very good stuff in his career and only relatively recently has he opted for silly action stuff ... he has two young sons and maybe he wants to make films they can actually see ... it is odd, though; he came very close to publicly saying that the Star Wars prequel was utter crap and hinted he was done with big budget green screen crap after that experience .. I can't imagine he *needs* the money ... maybe he just wants the money ... maybe he has fond memories of playing the board game ... maybe he likes dressing up as a sailor ;)
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July 28, 2011, 4:50 p.m. CST
Only way this will make money - 90 minutes of Rihanna soaking wet, half naked, and moaning in 3D
by spicy-mag.com
Imax.
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If that is all it was i'd just fucking steal it off PB. No, at this point the only way this thing will get my hard earned $$$ is if Rihanna comes to my house and tosses my salad while the blonde Bim lets me deep throat her Max Hardcore style and the director of this turdbucket showers me with $100 bills.
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Let me guess: "It's Top Gun meets The Transformers - in the OCEAN." Utter. Shite.
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Hehe. I can't tell if this'll suck or be surprisingly entertaining, but I hope it's the latter. Peter Berg has always been a solid actor/now director whose work I like. This film probably won't be as bad as Michael Bay's BEST work, but I have to say -- the UFO stuff kind of makes me squint. They must've been chuckling and jumping around the screenwriting room, possibly after a few beers and a couple of joints, just soaking up the open-ended insanity of what they'd been commissioned to write. I can't imagine too many other ways a post-9/11 film like this might've gone, in all honesty. I hope I'm surprised.
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it even has James Franco and John Lithgow...
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i mean what a pointless movie destined to sink
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Yet the scary thing is its real. What used to be a satirical exageration of Hollywood stupidity has now become the reality. What next? Monopoly BADDIE: "I'm gonna own this whole city! Every street, every house, every railway station...all mine!" HERO: "No, not if I have anything to do with it!" BADDIE: "Fate hinges upon the roll of a dice, boy." HERO: "I'll take my Chances!"
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After the recent trauma in his life I can't blame him for just wanting to do lightweight stuff for awhile.
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It can only go downhill from here.
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that's the best version of that joke in the whole TB
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The real story has little to do with a relationship. It is not Pearl Harbor all over again. 90%+ of this movie is out at sea. She is not. Not going to give you the end of a book you haven't read.
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did a segment once where Hollywood started turning boardgames into movies. And now it's actually happened.
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After the first week or so, people would be more polite. Also maybe I'm thinking of another game, but wasn't battleship ass boring?
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Dear Hollywood Studio, Can I return this "Battleship" movie, and get a $200 million version of "Neuromancer" or "Dune" instead? Thank you. Sincerely, Movie Viewer
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Someone sinks someone's Battleship. And this will score about a 7 percent on the Tomatometer.
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Someone sinks someone's Battleship. And this will score about a 7 percent on the Tomatometer.
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Someone sinks someone's Battleship. And this will score about a 7 percent on the Tomatometer.
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so a guy goes from enlisted to an officer faster than anyone(ANYONE) in the history of the US Navy, and the plot makes Neeson ignore all of that and says he is wasting himself...right, even if its a motivational speech, come on. That is just a few seconds of the trailer, before the stupid alien ship BS. This will score less than Vampires Suck on every website if there is any hope for human kind.
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I know Uni is the house of flops, but if this doesn't get the place boarded up, then they truly are invincible. Listen, guys at Hasbro and other investing parties. It looks like you're trying to make another Transformers out of this, and you're going to pay for it, gravely. Let me tell you why Transformers, no matter how the movies turned out, had such a built in fanbase. Hasbro owed the popularity of TF to the two Japanese toy lines it pilfered, plus Marvel comics' establishing of the characters and the mythos. Put this together with it's various media blitzing over the years, and it's something that every generation is familiar with in some way or another. Battleship, is what it is, no overall backstory... a board game. A really slow moving one. Maybe not on Monopoly levels, but still. If you have to work so hard to make it appealing with all these extra bells and whistles with the sci-fi, you've lost. There's is no interesting way to expand the game's bland concepts into something amazing. Something I will give it is this, it'll be a new benchmark in box office bombs, set off by a group of conglomerates so desperate for a hit it'll have people writing up it's stupidity for years. A misguided attempt to squeeze water from a rock. From the buzz, the movie is already arriving as a parody of itself and everything that's excessive about Hollywood. I guess it wasn't too long before another Snakes on a Plane type oddity reared itself. Except when this one comes and goes, I don't think the studio is going to be laughing with us.
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July 29, 2011, 1:04 a.m. CST
they should start sending out their resumes now
by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE
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July 29, 2011, 1:18 a.m. CST
Preach on billy_d_williams!Battleship huh...yawn.dunno know about you guys but I'm tired of "aliens" anything already...
by kenchun24
Plus I thought a Battleship The Movie would revolve around a couple of kids playing the game and they get magically thrown into the game kind of like that movie Zathura (which I quite like btw). Also this nonstop onslaught of alien invasion movies/tv...yawn.It's like hollywood is trying to predictively program the masses for an actual alien invasion. Full of 3D holograms,'Light' UFO's,bioengineered transhumanism and anti-gravity aircraft siphoned from old school WW2 Nazi tech to create an actual (albeit false flag) alien invasion.
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Writer writes original screenplay and writer owns the story, gets a cut of licensing, etc. BUT-- If writer is hired by producers who own a product license, say Borax Bleach, and then writer comes up with original screenplay for BORAX: THE MOVIE, writer does NOT own the story or get a cut of the licensing. Producers very happy. From reality TV to this latest trend, the writer's natural place in the order of the universe is being reversed. "If we could just get rid of these actors and directors, maybe we've got something here." -Griffin Mill
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July 29, 2011, 2:28 a.m. CST
It's been said several times already, but it's sickening that...
by Deadmouth
this has been given the green light ahead of The Dark Tower and At the Mountains of Madness. Appalling. Movie studio idiots. How much has gone into films like this, Battle LA, Skyline, GI Joe et al in recent years. Makes me weep. *Sigh* I need to go watch Scott Pilgrim or something.
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July 29, 2011, 3:42 a.m. CST
If instead of directed by Peter Berg, there stood Christopher Nolan
by Volllllume3
All you geeks would lap this shit up. Don't even try and fucking deny it.
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at the Cowboys and Aliens showing. That was the most unanimously disastrous reaction to a trailer I've ever seen.
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July 29, 2011, 5:15 a.m. CST
Its Like Bingo.... Without All The Adult Diapers And Second Hand Smoke.
by Dyslexic_Palindrome
Coming Soon, Lawn Darts The Movie.... "Look To The Skies Or You'll Miss The Point" *ugh*
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July 29, 2011, 5:40 a.m. CST
to the person who said i need to go and watch scott pilgrim
by emeraldboy
two words. dont bother. I saw scott pilgrim and it gave me a headache.
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this looks truly awful! and as for the whole chutes and ladders comment! it's only ever been snakes and ladders in Britain. chutes and ladders is purely American! Some of the arguing and comments on here are so childish. makes me laugh how worked up people have got over this. yes it looks terrible but just don't watch it!
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you fanboi terds crack me up. all i see is a fun summer movie that isn't a cash-grab remake or sequelitis bullshit waste of time. throw in brooklyn deckers funbags from another planet and it's more than enough to get my cash. you will all see it, and it will probably be decent enough.
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Choppah and Conti are rivals, cut from the same cloth... The cloth of The Turin Shroud. I SEE GOD IN THEIR POSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (plus they both carbon date to the Renaissance period).
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I'm most shocked that it looks kinda good.
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Watch all the sheeple go sign up for Eyerack.
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Are we sure this isn't a spoof? Because it sure as hell seems like it is! Almost expect Leslie Nielsen to pop up and shout "You have sunk my battleship, Shirley!"
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Not that I had much to begin with. How can you claim to be a lover of cinema and make a movie based on a fucking board game??? We're not talking about Verhoven making Robocop, where on the surface it seems silly, but there are serious artistic/spiritual undertones to it (80s culture, yuppies, big business, the Jesus parallels, etc) making it a classic, we're talking about someone pitching Berg the making of a board game that HAS NO FUCKING STORYLINE!!! And he AGREED TO DIRECT IT!!! Hancock and the Kingdom were interesting and I thought this guy was possibly going to be good. How does a director fight through the hardships of production day and day out, rising at 5am and hitting the pillow at midnight knowing he's doing it all for a fucking board game???
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I could understand if it was two human naval forces facing off, but, uhh, it ain't. Just call it BATTLE: PACIFIC and get Aaron Eckhart cameo.
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If Christopher Nolan directed this then we would say, this is a misrepresentative trailer and is sure to be awesome - much like how the Inception trailer completely missold the film.
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$$$$$$$$ That's how. But, I agree. But, not only is it a board game that HAS NO F*CKING STORYLINE!!! But, it doesn't have any FREAKING characters! At least Candy Land has characters.
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Who blew who to get this shit made?
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It`s called Loose Change
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July 30, 2011, 10:01 a.m. CST
Okay girls—you're all pretty. Now with that settled, I'm now taking bets on whether Harry...
by David Bolton
1) claims in a 3000-word review how the movie reignited a special golden part of his child-soul that was until now—dead, buried and forgotten, while focusing 2900 words of the review on something supremely important, like the serene feelings of inner calm that the cerulean color of the ocean instilled into him. 2) claims in a 2500-word review how the movie has made Peter Berg "relevant, exciting and fun to watch again—as he enters into a second renaissance of top-caliber filmmaking," like Renny Harlin. 3) claims in a 4000-word review written in a breathless flurry just before bedtime and after being personally prostate-milked by Peter Berg's executive prostate-milker how the film is almost exactly like another really bad film, but with one small minute change that actually has turned the new film into a masterwork of epic proportions. Other than that—the film looks great! Another proud graduate of Professor M. Bay's Shootin' Yer Film 101 offered online by the University of Phoenix.
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