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Here are some "Bad Teacher" stories from AICN Readers, what's your story?

Published at: June 18, 2011, 6:41 p.m. CST by AICNStaff

Hey folks, Harry here...   As I read through the folks attempting to get into BAD TEACHER, I thought I should probably share some of their stories, because frankly...  I've just never seen a collection of Bad Teacher stories.   For me, my personal bad teacher stories include a coach that deliberately flunked me for leaving the football team, then a Texas History teacher / Coach that used to rub the girls' asses inbetween administering "licks" aka ass beatings with a board, which were allowed at my High School in the 80s.  But those stories are lame in comparison to what I have for you below...

I've left off the names of the story tellers to protect their identity.   Here ya go...

 

 

 

Worst teacher ever: 9th grade art teacher. He was going through a divoce with his wife of six months (his 3rd marriage, mind you) and showed up to class sloppy drunk. Crakced open a Miller Lite right then and there, referred to his soon-to-be-ex as a "cunt," and asked each female student present why women are "hardwired to be soul-sucking, money-grubbing bitches." Then told us all to fuck off, spit out his beer, and stormed out of class. Surprinsgly enough, it took the school THREE WEEKS to fire him and he later unsuccessfully brought forth a lawsuit for "wrongful termination."

 

 

Uno. My computer science teacher.  No joke.  She was the homecoming queen back in her day.  I got away with a fair amount ... and had my own keys to the classroom.  Oh there was the detail that I was the sysadmin.

Dos. And then there was the hot teacher who took us all to Disney World senior year ...  We had had her back in 8th grade before that.  Back in the 8th grade everybody was trying to get a glimpse ... of anything they could.  

Tres. The soccer coach from Romania who defected from the Soviet military by swimming across a river while being shot at.  He'd tell us all the dirt on everybody including the faculty ... while smoking his cigar and using diesel fuel to mark the lines on the soccer field.  The man smoked like a chimney on campus.  The "football" team won a fair number of state championships.

 

During my freshman year of high school our home room teacher went on sabbatical for the second half of the year.  In her absence they got this crazy old hippie named Cathrine to fill in for her for the remainder of the year.  Cathrine made us rearrange all of our desks so that we were sitting in a circle because she felt the energy was better that way.  She would also usually spend most of our class time just rambling and telling us all kinds of crazy stories.  The best one was where she revealed that she had a love affair with Gene Hackman.  She claimed that as a young woman she lived on the road and often relied on the kindness of others as she bounced from one place to another.  At one point (and I can't remember how) she end up living on Gene Hackman's property with him and his lady friend, and my teacher and Hackman ended up having a short but passionate affair.  She claimed that anytime she watched a Gene Hackman movie she would get emotional

 

 

 

My bad teacher experience:

Ok so everyone had to take a "reading" class in middle school (which makes no sense, we were 13 and at that point I could tear through a novel in 2 days easy. I don't even remember what we did in that class). ANYHOW, the teacher was this mean redneck that played lacrosse and liked to see us kids beat each other up. I was nerdy and got picked on a lot, and one time I blew up on this kid and smacked him back in front of the teacher - who goaded the other kid on. It was a pretty terrible classroom to be in. Needless to say it took him 2 months to get fired - but it was for a totally unrelated thing! He hunted and apparently had left a shotgun in his car. One of the English teachers saw through his bullshit and hates him. I'm pretty sure she's the one that got him caught. I loved her.

 

my freshman year in high school a teacher choked me for scaring her with a fake snake. for real.

 

 

Have to go with my 7th grade PE teacher, Coach Ford. He was a nice enough older guy, but he his daily class routine included sitting in his office reading the paper while the students changed and generally being oblivious. Add in the fact that only two types of students - nerds and delinquents - took PE and not athletics, and the results were rather predictable. The locker room descended into a scene from Lord of the Flies. My parents finally intervened when I showed up at home with a burn mark on my arm, after a classmate had -no joke - held a lighter to my skin. During the subsequent parent-teacher conference, Coach Ford casually blew off any concern by saying "it's society's problem". Today, the whole sequence of events would probably result in a lawsuit. In 1991, it resulted in a change to my course schedule.

 

My bad teacher was my algebra 2 teacher Mr Box.  He would saunter in each day approximately 5-10 minutes after the bell with a coffee cup the size of a whiskey barrell.  He would either tell us to open our books to page xxx and "punch and crunch the numbers" or write an equation on the board and tell us to do the same.  He would then go to his first and only love,.... COFFEE.   If anyone asked him for further instruction he would state "it is right there, just do it." and return to swilling his coffee.  I needed more assistance and had quite a hard time getting anything out of that class, After repeated complaints by myself, other students and the parents and him trying to falsify documentation he was asked not to return.

 

My High School French teacher had every one of her final exams revoked by the dean because not one person in any of her classes got above a D on them. (everyone wound up with an A for the class)

Stage and Media professor would drink with and allow a few students to booze after a successful show... on school grounds! (not bad but certainly badass)

 

My german-descended Spanish teacher -- he looked just like John Denver -- passed me a small note in class during an exam. All it said was "Do you know why you're like a sharp pencil?", then he whispered to me "because you're both little pricks". He didn't teach at that school very long.

 

My bad teacher experience was with a middle school science teacher who laughed maniacally after my best friend and lab partner stuck a pair of tweezers into an electrical socket on a dare. He was still laughing as a sparkball of electricity blew out of the socket and across the floor. He was laughing as my friend stood crying with singed fingers and frizzy hair in our science lab that had no lights on since the circuit was blown. In the darkness I could hear his crazy laughter. I'll never forget that. He hated his student.

 

In college I had a professor of communications that was smoking hot. She used to flirt with me, wink at me during class, call me into her office to discuss nothing and even asked me to come to her house to work on her computer. One day she had me in her office and she closed the door. I wad thinking, "This is it. I'm going to fuck my teacher." I had a full hard-on. She looked awesome, leaned forward and said "You know... ... ... I wish you had an older brother that looked exactly like you that didn't go to this school." What. The. Fuck. She smiled, winked, open the door and I left. Yeah, I probably pussed out a bit but she was totally fucking with me. The rest of the semester was a giant blue ball inducing nightmare. She ended up dating a cop and quitting the school. I still wonder what would have happened if I had been more aggressive when that office door was closed...

 

My High School algebra teacher- Mrs. Jones - Was the embodiment of evil. The only math class I ever failed, I had to endure her for 3 semesters. The very first day of school during my first semester with her, she introduced herself to the class and proceeded to inform us that "everything we heard about her was true" and then slapped two kids with detention for giggling at her. She ruled the classroom with an iron fist and looked for every opportunity to give poor grades. I HATED her, I can't even imagine what the kids who had zero aptitude for math felt for her.

 

My Bad Teacher was my 4th grade teacher Mrs. Westbrook, I am not sure if it was her old age, or being from a different era but she was a stern and mean lady. I was a big boy back then, or as my mom liked to say "husky" , and there was another Eric in class who was a little taller than the rest of us, so when the class was set to learn about the difference between length and width Mrs. Westbrook made me and the other Eric stand up in front of the class to provide a real world example of length vs. width.

 

Back in my early college years, I was really hardcore into playing EverQuest. My electrical engineering professor, Mr. McCoy, was as super cool guy. During the semester, I learned that Mr. McCoy just happened to play EverQuest as well and it turned out that we were on the same server. Throughout the course of the semester, I would offer to trade Platinum (the in-game currency of EverQuest) to Mr. McCoy for leeway in the course, be it skipping class, homework forgiveness, or answers to tests, which he *ahem* may or may not have accepted. Needless to say, I received an A in that class for very little work and attendance.

 

My worst teacher experience was in 2nd grade... when I got in a fight with a kid for stealing my swamp thing toy, the teacher MRS THEDFORD broke us up, and decided since the other kid claimed the toy was his and that he didn't steal it, she'd just keep it and send us both to detention for fighting.

 

 

I grew up in the Valley, (Brownsville, Texas) and I had a Chemistry teacher who was accused three different times of sleeping with three different students. I remember her being young and really hot and it was the classic hypocritical actions, where she was never brought to trial or anything. I had a friend who claimed she would mess with him at school.
 
I was too much of a nerd to know for real but after the third time she was accused, she was let go. 
 
Anyway, she was a BAAAD TEACHER!
 
 
In high school, I was the head officer of the dance team the year our director walked out on us without telling us she was even leaving.  Our new director was about 22 and thought she could run our team by being our "friend."  She liked to walk around barefoot on campus, even to the principal's office, and earned the name blackfoot because of her severely soiled feet.  She was known to lay on her back in the gym with her shirt up to her chest showing her very pregnant stomach... she loved to be barefoot and pregnant.  She also wore the same bra everyday and it appeared broken when her strap would show.  The night of our senior recital she danced at 9 months and did a tremendous leap and everyone thought her water was going to break on stage.  I couldn't help thinking that recitals were supposed to showcase student achievement not staff... the football coach can't go and make a touchdown on Homecoming.  The parents would complain to me about her... like I was the adult in charge.  She loved to sabbotage any plans I would make for the team and did her best to make me look bad any chance she received.  I struggled the entire year with this horrible woman and was happy when her contract was not renewed.  Whoa that was a therapy session right there!
 
 
During my 8th grade year I had a Pre-Cal teacher who instead of teaching us PRE-CALCULUS for high school coming up, would leave a multiplication chart(of all things) up on the overhead project for us to work on(5 minutes of work maximum). She would never be there for class, instead spending this time down the hallway either gossiping with another teacher OR as us junior high kids got into our heads, having an affair with the coach or principal(she was attractive, so naturally she was totally being fucked down the hall). She'd then show up for the last 10 minutes of class to grade the "work" we had done that day and assign homework based on the VAST amount of material that had been covered. I think she assumed since we were the more advanced class that we didn't really need "teaching". Needless to say, I fucking sucked at every math course after this one.
 
 
I can't wait to see Bad Teacher, it looks hilarious. My bad teacher experience comes from elementary when I was in third grade. I found out later in that school year that I had a teacher that refused to teach me because of the color of my skin. I was a little too dark for her liking. Still to this day, I get upset that she refused to teach me. Of course now, such a thing wouldn't be allowed to happen, but I told my mother then after we found out why would I want to be in a class with a teacher who didn't want to teach me and obviously was a horrible person. Had I known that my replacement teacher was also going to be just as bad, I might have made that bad teacher have me in her class anyway. :-) Throughout all of my school year's that year, was my worst experience. Hope to see you on June 23 to see a funny Bad Teacher experience.
 
I was a fat kid in middle school, and I had a p.e. teacher that just hated me. Every time we had to split into teams for any sports event like hockey, basketball, etc. Instead of pulling out the large yellow jerseys to distinguish an opposite team, he would point to me and say skins. Which meant we had to take our shirts off. Being a fat kid with a stomach and boy-boobs is a recipe for other kids to taunt. I remember the teacher even laughing at some of the comments. This happened all the time.
 
 
This one is brief, but I had an English teacher who once said as a side-remark and not ironically, that the people of Spain (where I’m from) are short and small because of the Spanish Civil War. Wish I had had the quick wits back then to ask her how exactly does war makes people shorter…
 
 
I had a teacher / coach that was always trying to show off and put on the tough guy act, but most people didn't take him very seriously. Kind of reminded me of Chris Farley as the bus driver in Billy Madison. One day during Meteorology class (yes, seriously), a friend of mine that had brought one of those remote-controlled "fart machines" to class realized another friend had stolen the remote.
 
The friend with the remote was in the adjacent classroom, but still apparently in range of the device. The machine started going off during class, and the teacher actually thought it was someone having real gas (even though it repeats the same 4 farts over and over and generally sounds pretty fake). He became very flustered and asked who had eaten too many refried beans for lunch (it was taco day).
 
He eventually singled out my friend and told him that he better hold it in, or else. Finally, he blew up and told my friend to "get the hell out of here and go see the nurse." He did, whilst the fart machine got a couple more off. The remote controller friend said he could hear our teacher yelling through the wall.
 
 
When my business marketing teacher tried teaching us a formula for figuring out how much your profit margin is and no one could figure it out. So we looked in the text book and were shown a different formula. When we told her the book showed us a different formula. She told us she knew her way was wrong but do it her way anyway. She also almost got me fired my job at a movie theatre by holding up my concession line on busy Friday night to talk about class.
 
 
When I was in the 10th grade, I was in the jazz band.  I was the only person in the group who wasn’t driving because it usually consisted of a few juniors and mostly seniors.  We were playing a small recruiting concert across town at a middle school to get kids to join the high school band when they got there, and because of the size and age of the group, everyone was allowed to drive themselves to the gig.  Not being old enough to drive, I rode with the band director.  We left a few minutes early so we could “set up equipment” at the middle school.  What we actually did, though, was stop at the local strip club so he could have a drink.  They let me in because he was a regular and knew the guy working the door, promising we’d be in and out.  He had a double Crown and Sprite, and I had a Coke and got to experience my first afternoon shift at The Paradise Club...there are some things you just can’t un-see.  And I owe it to my very own Bad Teacher.
 
 
The first day of senior English in high school, the teacher comes in and tells us a story about a theater class where two actors were on stage rehearsing when a cockroach scurried across the stage. One actor wanted to kill it, the other thought it should be let outside. They got into a big fight, so the director walked onto the stage, walked over to them and stomped on the roach shouting "I decide what lives and dies in my classroom!"
 
As our teacher said this last line, she looked at every single person in the room with CRAZY eyes. We were sitting there thinking "holy crap - she's going to kill someone before the end of the school year." I'd never been so terrified of a teacher before. I'm telling you: Crazy. Eyes.
 
 
I have a distinct memory of an English teacher in the early part of high school that had something called 'the chair of truths'. Every other day when we would meet for her class she would randomly pick someone from the class to sit on this thing directly in front and facing the class. Every single person in the class had to say one thing they liked about the student and one thing the didn't. Most days it would go down like this... Jennifer you are really smart and also a caddy bitch. After a couple weeks when everyone hated eachother and self esteem was at an all time low the chair of truths was retired.
 
 
When I was in high school I repeatedly had a lazy sub that would just throw on a movie. Normally this wouldn't be anything to complain about as my friends and I all loved movies. The problem was it was only ever one film...Remember the Titans. It's a decent little motivational true story sports movie on first watch but after having watched it SIX TIMES over the course of one semester I was not as enthusiastic about it. To be fair though anytime the movie comes on cable I can quote most of it and my friend Rob does a killer Denzel that to this day cracks everybody up at parties.
 
 
I had a high school math teacher who, in his spare time, dressed up like a knight and attended renaissance fairs. While we took tests, I shit you not, he would use the opportunity to practice his swordplay with a yard stick, fighting an invisible opponent as we tried to concentrate. Those were the days...
 
 
My 9th grade English teacher was a drunk.  We saw her filling a shopping cart with the cheap gallon jugs of wine all the time.  She was lit every morning before school.  One day we decided to hid all the chalk but glue one piece to floor in front of the board.  She saw it, wobbled over to it and bent over to pick it up.  Of course the chalk didn't budge.  Tried a dozen more times. Then she stood up and just stared at it for an eternity.  Finally, she went back to her desk and said verbatim, "Fuck it. No lesson today.  Read your books."
 
 
When I was 14, I had a young male science teacher who was really into heavy metal like me and my friends. He ended up taking my four best friends to see Pantera. This was in 1991, before they had blown up - a club gig with stage diving and all that fun stuff an 8th grader dreams of doing. My mom wouldn't let me go because she said, "HE COULD BE A CHILD MOLESTER!" My friends all had a great time. But the twist is, the very next year, he was fired and arrested for sleeping with one of his students. So mom was right the whole time! Still, his affair was with a female, so I don't think I would've been in any danger. I still hate my friends for getting to go.
 
 
Ms. Vann was the assistant art teacher for 7th and 8th grade. She wasn't Mrs. Johnson, who was 6 feet tall and lanky and 40. Instead, she was 23, curvy, and beautiful. She got more than a few boys, including me, to take art class. At our end of the year fair, she volunteered for the dunking booth and, no kidding, wore a white top. Now, it was thick and had some stripes, but not where it would matter. They moved the line to throw from back for the teacher before, presumably in anticipation. 15 guys (again, including myself) paid to throw 3 balls to nail the target and give birth to brilliance and dream fodder. Then they said she had to go, which is when she got chants from the reinvigorated boys. "Let her stay!" echoed, until they gave 10 more boys the chance.
 
No one ever hit the target and we were denied the rest of our lives.  Our own Rita Hayworth, whom we could never see in all her glory, I am still convinced that she loved every second of the attention.
 
 
My PE teacher, Mr. Black really wasn't a great teacher. Since P.E. was my Home room. We would get his "How his morning is going?". He really hated marriage and in laws. My freshmen Year he told the entire P.E. Class. " For God's Sakes wear a condom! What I heard about some of these girls here.. You do not want to knock up any of those Bitches!! You WILL kiss your life and future good bye!" Let's say every guy in the looker room had the same look and thought. "which girls?"
 
 
In 11th grade for "spirit" week (a week usually reserved for wear school colors day, inside out day, 50's day, etc.) the Randall High student council decided it would be fun to have "Bum" day!  Well, it didn't sit right with my group of friends that a buch of upper-middle class white kids were going to dress up as poor people, because it's WACKY!  So, we made simple shirts that said "Bum Day" circled with a line through it.  About 45 of us wore our shirts, didn't make a scene, just simply voicing our concern that the day was distasteful.  Being one of the "ringleaders of the rebellion" (actual words used by our dipshit principal) my best friend Lindsay and I were sent home and given zeros for the day.  The rest of us were forced to change clothes for not representing the school in a positive and uplifting manner.  Eventually the joke game back on them when I got a story (short though it may have been) on the evening news and an apolgy from the priciple!  Viva la proletariat!  
 
 
 
I had a Latin teacher who was actually quite good at instilling information, but it was mainly through raw fear and the ability to throw a chalk-board eraser with unnerving accuracy. It didn't help that his best friend was the borderline psychotic History teacher who had his eye carved out by the Mau-Mau during the Kenyan Civil War. Turned out that the Latin teacher had been a British Military Intelligence interrogator on Cypress during the 1950s. Trust me, nothing makes you learn your declensions like modified enhanced interrogation techniques. The saddest part was that his smoking hot daughter was in my class, but no-one dared ask her out.
 
 
In my junior year of high school, I had a computer science teacher who was 22 and a recent Texas A&M Grad. He ended up becoming our friend and we invited him out to some paintball trips on the weekend. One weekend, I called the number he had given me and his mom answered, and she had to bring the phone to him. He had to profusely apologize for not having told us he lived with his mom, and proceeded to lead us to believe that she was his "roommate" instead of his mom. In this midst, he asked for a ride (great segway for a 22 yr old) and we came to pick him up at his moms house. Once he was in my buddies car, he ended up sparking a bowl, and trying to pass it around. 
 
Needless to say, it was the strangest experience I have ever had with a "teacher." To this day, I still can't think of Jason as our teacher. He was really fucking bad. 
 
 
I had a bad teacher experience. My classical guitar professor once tried explaining the economic problems of the world and after a spirited anti-everything rant, he explained:
 
"People are fucking too much. We can talk about birth control and condoms all we want, but people are still gonna fuck. Especially the Mexicans. Those people do nothing but fuck and over-populate. We should hide all the tacos, in every sense of the word, so they go away."
 
He did this in front of my grandmother, who he didn't know was standing in the doorway of his office. Needless to say, getting her to pay for private lessons with that "profane man" was difficult from that point on.
 
 
So my Texas history teacher, Mr. Bailey, in 7th grade only taught us about Texas history about half the time we were in class (if that!). Instead, we spent a majority of our class periods learning about aliens & UFOs. So in place of pictures of Crockett, Bowie or Bush on our classroom walls we literally had pictures of aliens and blow-up green men hanging from the ceiling. And we spent whole class periods just watching films like "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and "Cat from Outer Space". Granted, to Mr. Bailey's benefit, we did learn some Texas history, like I got to do a film project where I played Lee Harvey Oswald and my friend played Jack Ruby (that was our final exam, by the way). I will never forget that year of class. It was the craziest class I think I've ever had. But I am all the well off for it. Because as the green men once said, "remember the alamo!"
 
 
My German teacher used to sell LSD to his students.
 
 
SO - what's your BAD TEACHER story?

Readers Talkback

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  • June 18, 2011, 6:56 p.m. CST

    First

    by mukhtabi

    My bad teacher story relates to High School Hebrew 9th and 10th grade. I was saddled with an ineffectual, arrogant, vain, man named Rabbi Vasner who was very Israeli and possessed limited skills at English, discipline, and teaching in general. We literally did the same damn lesson every class, and eventually the entire class ditched en masse. At the end of the year he asked what we thought of him as a teacher those who kissed his ass went to Hebrew 6 the highest level class. I was honest, went to Hebrew 5 and earned a C for the year, even though on the irregularly offered tests I earned A's. Total dib and douchebag.

  • June 18, 2011, 7:13 p.m. CST

    not to be overly cynical, but...

    by TheSeeker7

    As I browse a couple of things, particularly as I take it these submissions are put forth to win access to a free movie screening, how do you guys know that these stories are legit? The contestant isn't just dreaming up their own best nightmare scenario of academic days gone by to win the tickets?

  • June 18, 2011, 7:15 p.m. CST

    Never had a "hot" Bad Teacher...

    by Jobacca

    Honestly...all my teachers were evil bitches. First Grade-Physically and Verbaly abusive Mrs. Garland who would yell and scream at the first graders. One day the little girl seated next to me was crying and silently rubbing the crucifix around her neck when Mrs. Garland RIPPED it off her neck and threw it across the room while screaming that SHE was God in that classroom. Halfway through first grade I had a nervous breakdown and Mom finally found out what was happening. Fifth Grade-Evil old bitch Mrs. Pauly used to lose my homework and then accuse me of not doing it. Didnt stop until my Mom started making copies of my homework every morning at Kinkos. Seventh Grade-Had a teacher that used to teach religion in the classroom and openly mocked anyone who believed in science or evolution. Seventh Grade-Had a music teacher with a hook for a hand. My best friend jumped onstage during the talent show and ruined another kids act,so the music teacher chased him down and BURIED the fucking hook in the back of his neck. He was never fired and worked as the music teacher through my senior year. Senior Year-Had a religious fanatic for an English teacher who hated me and all my friends and made up imaginary grades to fail us(I had a poor "enthusiasm grade" in her class). She would routinely tell students and parents that Jesus was in charge of the school. My school also had a pedophile for an english teacher who got caught sleeping with and secretly videotaping his 10th grade male students.

  • June 18, 2011, 7:26 p.m. CST

    uno, dos, tres

    by Mr_P

    Whoever wrote that must be about 12 years old. The first 2 weren't even stories they were just "I fancied my teacher" sentences. Stopped reading after that as thought if thats at the top the rest must be rank.

  • June 18, 2011, 7:30 p.m. CST

    Mine was 8th grade earth science...

    by corplhicks

    Forgot her name. She was a moron. We used to correct her because she screwed up the metric system all the time. Even when she was shown she graded tests wrong she still didn't give us credit. We reported her for gross incompetence and they replaced her midway thru year.

  • June 18, 2011, 7:33 p.m. CST

    My Bad Teacher

    by cleetdog101

    My Bad Teacher Story: FYI - I don't come out looking so good in this either, but...Most of my 3rd & 4th semesters in a local community college was spent having sex with my 1st semester English professor (she was 36 at the time). While her husband (who also worked at the college) was unaware, she would spend her days off with me either in my bed, her bed, a hotel bed or when left with no other outlet - our respective vehicles. Once while having sex with me, at night, in the back of her car while parked in a local city park , we were spotted by another faculty member from the college. They didn't see anything "clearly" - but they saw enough to possibly have a story to tell. So my self-serving teacher-lover threw me under the bus. She went to her superiors (and later her husband) saying that I was infatuated with her & that I had begun to stalk her - she also told the school that she was afraid of me & "felt" threatened by my presence. This was 18 months after the Virginia-Tech incident, and possible threats were being systematically eliminated as a result - I was deemed a threat & the whole scenario was swept under the rug! Bad Teacher? Bad person. Bad wife - just plain bad.

  • June 18, 2011, 7:36 p.m. CST

    Relatively trivial, I suppose, but ...

    by The StarWolf

    Two come to mind. Not as bad as many examples above, but ... English prof in grade 11. Gave us a major assignment to write an essay about "the world of tomorrow". No, not the '39 World's Fair. More like what we thought the world will be like in the future. Being a science geek and Science Fiction fan, I had lots of ideas. Too many. The idiot gave me a fail on it because - so he claimed - I'd let my imagination run wild. Unfortunately, he wasn't at the reunion twenty years later so I could rub his nose in the fact that about 2/3rds of what I predicted was in use and most of the rest was on the drawing boards. It's mediocre, unimaginative minds such as his which holds back students. The other was a college professor teaching Personnel Management. Unfortunately, she was a professional in the field, moonlighting as tesacher. And a useless one because she talked to us as though we too were professionals. As a result the class kept being held up as people had to stop her such that she could explain the jargon she was using all the time as though we were supposed to already know it. Got fed up and told the Registrar's Office I was quitting the course and why. They suggested I join another teacher's class on the same subject. I tried it and they were two chapters ahead because he used plain English to explain things and everybody had a much easier time understanding. Bad teachers come in many forms.

  • June 18, 2011, 7:48 p.m. CST

    My English Lit teacher...

    by King_Knut

    ...who wrote the novel on which Keira Knightley's first movie, The Hole, was based, used to have students round to his flat to smoke weed.

  • June 18, 2011, 8:06 p.m. CST

    Why the ridiculous retina-burning highlights?

    by SierraTangoFoxtrotUniform

    And no offense, these are some boring stories. Stopped reading.

  • June 18, 2011, 8:11 p.m. CST

    "This one time, . . . . .at Band Camp . . .

    by DrMorbius

  • June 18, 2011, 8:13 p.m. CST

    A few of these read like "Dear Penthouse" stories.

    by Tarijeno

    I never had any smoking-hot 23-year old art teachers when I was going to school. Lucky bastards.

  • June 18, 2011, 8:15 p.m. CST

    Not so much 'Bad Teacher'...

    by PreciousRoy

    ...as 'Bad Student'. Or maybe just 'unfortunate incident'. During the second grade for me, about 1977, racial tension was this ugly spectre in our school (Lakeside Elementary & Middle, Orange Park, FL). The older kids in the middle school were having worse conflicts, but with our schools literally next door to each other, something had to be said. My teacher got us into seats and gave us a bit of a pep talk. She was a well-meaning teacher, and I liked her a lot, understood her even at that age to be a sincere person... but part of her counseling session was to go over the list of things kids were not to call each other, which anyone who knows kids knows is a rookie error-- don't arms kids and then tell them, 'don't shoot'. I burst out laughing when she got to 'chocolate bar'. The idea of a person calling another person a chocolate bar seemed hilariously funny to me; sort of like some random person calling someone else over the Internet a Nine Iron. What the hell did that mean? Chocolate bars were delicious to me and I coveted them. Why would you call someone a chocolate bar to insult them? (Naturally, I'm 30+ years older now and I get that black kids in my class would have thought of it as a terrible insult... I just thought of it as a weirdly non-contextual insult.) This seemed to piss my poor teacher off. She shamed me for laughing and I stop, genuinely crushed to have disappointed her. She thought she'd call me on my hypocrisy by asking me if I'd like to be called 'cracker'. I busted out laughing and I remember the whole class laughed along with it as well. Cracker seemed just as arbitrary as chocolate bar to me. Sadly, that teacher and I never really were close after that. I think I made one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do harder without meaning to, and she hated me for it.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:02 p.m. CST

    My mom.

    by the dolphins are in the jacuzzi

    Yes, I actually had my mom as a teacher in the 11th grade. I was in pre-AP/GT English, and she was the only teacher who taught the subject at my school, so I had to take her class (or forgo class rank/scholarship opportunities by taking regular English). She wasn't a bad teacher. She was actually pretty damned good, and I gained a new respect for her after that. So why is this a bad teacher story? Boy, did she pick on me - I mean, mercilessly. Every thing I did was wrong, and I was singled out for any little mistake I made. She was so determined not to show favoritism to me that she bent over backwards to make me the class scapegoat. Funny thing is, it actually made the class like me more. See, I was a geeky kid who went around quoting Monty Python all the time, and the other kids acted as you'd expect them to. I was pretty much the class pariah. That is, until my mom used me as a public whipping boy. After that, the kids actually started to feel sorry for me. They'd ask me every day, "What do you think she's gonna get you for today?" A few of those students ended up becoming lifelong friends. Weird how things work out sometimes, but yeah, my worst (and best) teacher was my mom.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:23 p.m. CST

    I have a story

    by daggor

    There was this skinny, attractive blonde teacher that had a decent movie career, but was starting to fade. She had loads of money, but... you know... they always want more. Well, she was in the gym and she call the fat kid "Chubs" in front of everybody and hit him in the face with a dodge ball. I think it was supposed to be funny. She hit him over & over again. She embarrassed him so badly that he cried every night for weeks, and developed a self esteem problem so pronounced, he was never able to have a positive relationship with anyone - EVER. I'm not going to pay to see that fucking movie. Fuck all of you.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:43 p.m. CST

    Mr. Francis, 8th Grade Science

    by MonkMayfair

    I volunteered to bring my model rocket to school and do a launch during class, it went well and I asked if I could leave the rocket and supplies in his class to pick up after school. He enjoyed the launch so much, he repeated it for the next class with my rocket, without me. And launched it into a forest. He made his own rocket, a glider model. He just HAD to launch it on the day he finished it, despite 30 mph winds. "I'll compensate by aiming the launch pad into the wind." It got about 3 feet off the pad and the wind disintegrated the balsa wings, leaving red splinters twisting in the breeze. But the worst was his demonstration of the corrosive power of sulfuric acid. He put a beaker full on a table in the front of the class, dropped in a handful of pennies and wandered the class lecturing. As the fumes from the acid and coins spread, students were dropping like flies, running from the room, throwing up at their chairs, crying about their eyes burning. Yeah, he was bad.....

  • June 18, 2011, 9:51 p.m. CST

    My 7th grade American history teacher became a cannibal. Really.

    by SlappyBones

    His name is Albert Fentriss (Google him). He's probably as close to a real Hannibal Lector as we'll ever get. He committed his crime when I was in college, but I remember him from my time at Poughkeepsie Middle School in the early 70's. I have two strong (non-cannibalistic) memories of Mr. Fentriss. The first was when he dressed as a Confederate officer, sword and all, for a lecture on the Civil War. While describing the battle of the Monitor and the Merrimack, he meant to say of the sailors, "They were sweltering in their ships!" But it came out, "They were sweltering in their shits!" Big laugh. The second was when he got a big laugh at my expense. He asked the class to list the major Soviet leaders of the time. I raised my hand and said, "Khruschev." "He's dead," was his reply, and all the kids laughed. He was right of course, and he wasn't being deliberately rude... ... for which I am grateful. It could have been far worse. Like what he did to that 18 year old guy he lured into his cellar. But you can read about that on your own.

  • June 18, 2011, 10:07 p.m. CST

    Bad teacher stories? Have I got some for you.

    by cookepuss

    I was in college at the time, a high profile New York one which shall remain nameless here. (My stories are that bad.) Anyway, although I was a CompSci major, I was also taking philosophy & ancient Greek. BAD TEACHER #1: For my philosophy class, we were required write a 15-20 page final paper. I wrote mine, turned it in, and awaited the grade. A couple of weeks later, I got it. The bitch gave me a damn F. Considering how that paper made up a huge portion of our grade, I obviously failed. As you can imagine, I was upset and a bit pissed. After receiving it, I asked her why I failed. To paraphrase, she said that my paper was too good and that I had obviously plagiarized a graduate student's paper. In her mind, there was no way that a freshman could have written such a polished paper, much less know so much about philosophy. I explained to her that I didn't come from some podunk bumblefuck public school. I attended one of the nation's most respected prep schools from grades 7-12. (The same high school Joss Whedon went to and where his mother taught, btw.) I let her know that we were actually taught philosophy there. We were even encouraged to explore the topic more on our own. She didn't buy it. She was absolutely _convinced_ that I had ripped off a graduate student's paper. She failed me because my paper was too good. TOO GOOD. Fathom that for a moment. What should've been an A+ paper got magically turned into a stinkin' F. Oy!!! BAD TEACHER #2: Same school. Same year. This time, the class was World Religions. It was one of those courses where you'd do a brief overview and then compare and contrast. In the spirit of the topic, the professor went around class and asked us what religion we were. So we did. Catholic. Jehovah's Witnesses. Catholic. Catholic. Greek Orthodox. And so on. Then she got to me. "And what relgion are you?" She obviously expected me to say more or less what everybody else was. Instead, I said, "I'm an atheist." I have never, EVER seen a professor turn red so quickly. In an attempt to remain professional, she moved on to the next person. After class, she approached me though. Here's how it played out. TEACHER: "How can you be an atheist? You're Puerto Rican aren't you?" ME (confused): "Uhm, actually, I'm a FOURTH generation American of Puerto Rican descent." I guess she thought I floated in on a raft or something. =P TEACHER (dead serious): "It doesn't matter. You're Puerto Rican and Puerto Ricans are usually Catholic. How can you not believe in God?" ME:I guess my only reply was the honest one. "I just don't. I haven't since I was 7 or 8 years old." TEACHER (pissed off): "Then why are you even taking MY class?" ME: "There's a sociological component to the topic of world relgions that really fascinates me. Expanding our horizons is what college is about, right?" TEACHER: "But don't you want to be saved?" ME: "I'm not looking to be converted or anything. I'm just taking a class that I though would be interesting. I wanted to learn something new." TEACHER: "Then you're going to burn in hell." Honestly, that shocked the shit out of me. I've had teachers who were frank and critical, but never one that was a total asshole. I could MAYBE overlook that she was making a weird assumption about what I might believe. Was it racist? I guess. Maybe it was just her personal experience talking. However, to suggest that I would burn in hell was outrageous. Because I didn't believe in a higher power I was some sort of deviant? LOL I'm a nice guy to a fault. This chick was out of her mind. =) BAD TEACHER #3: Same year. Same school. (Can it GET any worse?) I love language. I love how words are formed. I love language so much that I studied Latin from grades 6-12. I've also studied Italian. Having done that, it made sense to me to just take another language class in college. This time, I decided on ancient Greek. Have you ever taken a class that was so easy that you just got bored? For me, that class was ancient Greek. Having studied 7 years of Latin, Classic Greek 101 was like a blow off class for me. Easy to understand. Easy to pass. Apparently, my boredom must have shown through. In a class of 5 students, it's not so easy to hide this. I got the feeling when I met her that she didn't like me, but I couldn't quite peg why. However, here she was with the perfect chance to strike. One day, after class, the professor approached me. Clearly annoyed, she suggested that maybe I was not good at languages and should drop the class. Never mind the fact that I was acing it. Never mind the fact that it was well known that I was versed in two other languages. To her, because she was boring me to tears, I sucked at languages. I guess she wasn't actually looking at my grades. Must've lost me in the shuffle with the 4 other students. ;-> To top things off, she suggested that maybe I wasn't cut out for college and that perhaps I should quit. There was no shame in me quitting and just going into the workforce. Maybe construction or something. Bitch much? By the end of her tirade, I was also kind of convinced that she was just being a blatant racist. Ah-ha!!!! Explains why she didn't like me and made no attempt to conceal it. My "coasting" was just her excuse. I must be dumb because only dumb kids ace 3rd year college course in Calculus and Physics before even graduating high school. ARGH!!! Me so dumb. Me no even know difference between piss and milk. ARGH!!! ;-> Y'know what? I took BT3's advice, in part, and quit mid-year. It torched my GPA at that school, dropping me to a 1.9. However, I transferred to another school where I was much happier. In the new school, I made a lot of friends, partied hard (too hard), and went through with a decent enough 3.85 GPA. (Only dropped from the 4.0 because of that bloody 1.9 in that OTHER school.) Know what's more messed up? A year after I had quit the bad school, my mother went there for her MA in education. As it's an education degree, you're required to actually teach a 6th grade class. Not a problem. My mother's great at that stuff. However, she noticed that one of the students was very likely being abused by a parent. When she inquired about how to proceed, HER professor pretty much suggested that she shut up and turn a blind eye. Her professor even agreed that the abuse might be happening, but would simply offer my mother no support in making any claim. How fucked up is that? My mother, a bit hysterical, by what happened, quit. She transferred out of there too. It's been 16 years since that happened and my mother is still haunted by it. For all she knows the poor little girl is dead.

  • June 18, 2011, 10:16 p.m. CST

    Lifted off the ground by my neck in 5th grade.

    by Flip63Hole

    Had an angry teacher (with ill-fitting dentures) ~ he was constantly moving them around in his mouth. One rainy day all the students were eating lunch in the gym. Teacher was obviously in a bad mood, heard a ruckus and assumed I was a part of it (I was just chatting with a friend). He grabbed several of us, took us outside and after my insisting I didn't do anything wrong he grabbed me by the neck, lifted me off the ground and started shaking me while screaming at me. Not a good day. We ended up putting sugar in his motorcycle's gas tank for revenge. He'd do other sadistic stuff but I'll save those stories for another day...

  • June 18, 2011, 10:29 p.m. CST

    (Sorta) Bad Teacher stories from my other college

    by cookepuss

    I had two professors who CLEARLY had drinking problems. One would sometimes come into class late, clearly hung over, and drop on a movie instead of having to teach or deal with the bright overhead lights. The other, while never exhibiting obvious signs, would somehow relate every math problem we got to Sam Adams beer. =) I kid you not. This guy had a passion for the suds. That was fine by me because, as a college student, one of my passions was getting shit-faced. They weren't really "bad" teachers. Just kinda lazy. Less homework? Fine by me. More time to party. Easier tests? Less time for studying. More time for getting laid. =) Gotta LOVE teachers with tenure. LOL

  • June 18, 2011, 10:40 p.m. CST

    10th grade English Teacher had never taught beyond grade school

    by Smartacus

    She'd taught for 4 years in grade school prior to coming to our school and wasn't prepared for kids who acted like quasi-adults. We used to go to movies with her and the drama teacher on weekends or hang out at their house (her house, he was her roommate) and go through 12 packs of Coors light. She wasn't "inappropriate" with any of us, she was just a lot of fun to hang out with. Very cool lady who is still teaching there but tells me that she no longer hangs out with her kids like that anymore. Different world these days.

  • June 18, 2011, 10:50 p.m. CST

    OMG

    by slatefish

    As our teacher said this last line, she looked at every single person in the room with CRAZY eyes.

  • I R LAME!!!

  • June 18, 2011, 11:16 p.m. CST

    I realized pretty early that most teachers are full of shit --

    by MooseMalloy

    -- best to learn what you can from each of them then go on with your life. Remember, those that can't do - teach. Take for example my High School theater "director". A sad and angry little man, some sort of Broadway failure, who insisted on acting in school productions. He is still one of the worst actors I've ever seen.

  • June 18, 2011, 11:38 p.m. CST

    @moosemalloy: Not so sure if I agree

    by cookepuss

    For one thing, while a degree isn't worth the paper its printed on, there are definitely concentrations which require school. I'll take a doctor to a bowl of leeches any day of the week. =) Seriously though, apprenticeship has its place, but it can't take the place of either primary or secondary education. Both are about more than just teaching you to calculate a restaurant tip. You may never use what year Lincoln died as a roadie for Metallica, but can it REALLY hurt? Knowledge is power, after all. On the subject of that old, offensive saying, there are a lot of teachers who teach because they actually DO love what they do. They love imparting their own knowledge and experience on to willing minds. Many do have a passion for their respective fields. Don't get me wrong. I've had some teachers who entered the professions for the wrong reason. However, I have had some who simply lived and breathed the material. One of my Physics professors was himself going for a PhD at the time and loved to share his own experience. Nothing better than a professor so willing to let you blow shit up or use lasers in the name of science. Had one teacher who turned away a promising job in the field of robotics because he didn't want to let his students down. Some teachers not only love what they do, but they're also damn good at it. Just because you want to pass along your wisdom doesn't make you incompetent. Just sayin'.

  • That they didn't have this almost kinda mythical status, disconnected from the rest of humanity due to their authoritative position over you? (and so not entirely unlike parents in that way) That when it first really sunk into you that after all they were regular old human beings just like anyone else, and thus were fallible, they could be petty and vindictive, stupid and lazy, and worst yet, piss poor at their job? (and hate it to boot)

  • June 19, 2011, 1:38 a.m. CST

    2nd Grade

    by Bass Ackwards

    Only realized my 2nd grade teacher was doing this when I grew up and looked back on it in retrospect, but my 2nd grade teacher pretty much dedicated as much of that year as she could to indoctrinating us with her Christian beliefs. I don't know if 2nd graders usually learn about the big bang theory or evolution, but she had made a point to teach us those theories only to have day long diatribes throughout the year about how silly and ridiculous those theories were (the rants would be set off by anything tangentially related, a student dropped her book and she'd stop the class to have us all look around and see if the "bang" created anything, or if there was a picture of a monkey she'd call on students to tell us if that monkey was related to us or not), as a 2nd grader I bought into whole heartedly (of course that loud noise didn't create the alphabet on the wall, that'd be dumb, and related to a monkey? who's the idiot that thinks that's possible?!). She also used to tell us ghost stories, the kind edged with just enough reality that we could imagine the ghost in our own dark bedrooms at night (feeling a ghost cat walking on the bed while she was sleeping, ghost noises at night, etc.) and the way she got rid of the ghost was by saying a prayer to jesus that she had us all memorize. I probably spent years after that reciting that prayer every time I felt my blanket settling on me at night (leave me alone ghost cat!). She ended up moving before the year was over, being a school on a military base teachers moving was not at all unusual, but I still often wonder if her exit had anything to do with what she was teaching us, or if she just got away with it and went to another school to do the same thing

  • June 19, 2011, 2:27 a.m. CST

    My science teacher fucked me up the ass once

    by Mel

    it was embarrassing because i had a hairy asshole. i would have shaved it if i knew what i was in for.

  • June 19, 2011, 2:49 a.m. CST

    Τhere was a teacher in my school who everyday

    by KilliK

    was eating tangerines on his desk while teaching. sometimes he was also eating cheese with the tangerines. thank god i never had him in my class.

  • June 19, 2011, 3:19 a.m. CST

    10,000 spitballs

    by Dan

    My 7th grade teacher was your classic "butch" girl's gym teacher. I remember her being a little more evil (in a funny way) than any other teacher I had ever had. She once caught some students having a spitball fight. So as punishment she said they had to fill up a small garbage can with spitballs. At first everyone was amused by the whole thing...chewing up bits of paper, spitting them out, rolling them into balls and dropping them in the can. The kids would do it during breaks and sometimes even during class. But soon everyone realized that to fill up the can they would need to make thousands and thousands of spitballs. It would take months. The teacher let this go on for a few days. Then one morning she announced that the janitor had thrown the can of spitballs away. She said the kids would have to start over and they flipped out in despair. It was pandemonium. As they started making a new batch of spitballs, she snuck behind them and pulled the old bag of spitballs out of a cabinet. Then she dumped the whole bag out over their heads and made them clean them up. At least I think she did. 7th grade was so long ago that I might be remembering the story being funnier than it actually was.

  • June 19, 2011, 3:42 a.m. CST

    Hmmm..

    by aceldama

    "everyone had to take a "reading" class in middle school (which makes no sense, we were 13 and at that point I could tear through a novel in 2 days easy." Umm.... to try to encourage those people who couldn't tear through a novel in 2 days... "when I got in a fight with a kid for stealing my swamp thing toy" Oh come on, be honest. The fight was over who would be stuck with that toy. "instead of teaching us PRE-CALCULUS for high school coming up, would leave a multiplication chart(of all things) up on the overhead projector" Isn't mulitiplications something you should learn before calculus? Sounds like "pre-calc" to me.

  • June 19, 2011, 4:20 a.m. CST

    Mid to late 80's, Mundy's Mill Junior HS

    by Dennis_Moore

    Mrs. Perl (can't recall if I have the correct spelling) was an English teacher who would flirt with particular boys (ages 14/15) who were her favorites. She took one boy named Kenny along on a vacation with her husband. It was baffling that his parents allowed. Another married teacher from there had stayed in contact with my friend Stephen, and had propositioned him after he graduated from HS.

  • June 19, 2011, 7:22 a.m. CST

    Male chauvinist pig teacher

    by DadTimesTwo

    In college in the early '90s, I took a political science class taught by an old school, die-hard conservative. One day, he said the government should repeal the Equal Rights Amendment because women don't need rights. When a girl in the class bolted up in outrage and said "EXCUSE ME?", he laughed and said, "Sit down, little missy. Women need to stop boo-hooing about their rights and go back home, where they belong, and get back to cooking and cleaning." When the girl went to see the head of the department to complain, I went with her as a witness. The head was apologetic but said the school's hands were tied because it was the teacher's classroom and he had tenure.

  • June 19, 2011, 7:29 a.m. CST

    Dear BAD TEACHER marketing team...

    by YackBacker

    AICN is not the right site for this promotion. We like robots, dragons and the occasional Danny Trejo cameo. What we don't like (or care about) is Cameron Diaz continuing her inexplicable career as a comedic actress. The commercials for this movie are plenty informative to show that this movie looks dull and trite. Lemme guess, Cameron Diaz feels awful for using everyone and has a change of heart at the end? The kids/school/love interest are all disappointed, but then she makes some gesture that turns it all around? BAD TEACHER, please stop trying to use this site. To be honest, your film's lack of zombies offends us.

  • June 19, 2011, 9:12 a.m. CST

    RE: Bad Teacher marketing team & "Mythical Teachers"

    by cookepuss

    @yackbacker: Do wee AICNers love zombie, robots, and dragons? Damn right we do. However, some of us also kinda like watching CD skank it up a bit. CD's getting a little frayed around the edges, but many of us will still watch BT so that we can dream of tapping that non-existent ass. =) @theseeker7: I'm not so sure that I ever thought that teachers WEREN'T just people. As a little kid, I never really had a teacher who was so amazing that I looked up to them like some golden calf. Ironically, in spite of being an atheist, I went to catholic school for more than a few years as a kid. I ended up with quite a few bitchy nuns. Nothing convinces you more about the non-existence of god than a nasty power hungry dusty old vagina in a habit. =P To be honest, I'm sure that we could as easily start a thread called Bad Student too. I wasn't exactly a badass or anything, but I would give my teachers hell over the years. 1st Grade: Bit my teacher in the leg because school was too easy and I didn't want to go. 4th Grade: Purposely made my papers seem like gibberish just to see how far I could push my teacher before I'd get detention. (Got detention a lot that year. LOL) 8th Grade: Learned to throw my voice. Convinced teacher that there was a broken radiator. Did this for weeks. Nearly drove her to tears eventually. 10th Grade: Waited for teacher to step out for 5 minutes. Moved her purse, jacket, and whole desk/chair to another classroom down the hall. Got everybody to play along. You've never seen such a confused teacher in your whole life. =) Yeah. Not badass or anything. I was just a bored little shit. School was too easy so I had to keep myself entertained, at their expense.

  • June 19, 2011, 9:23 a.m. CST

    My worst teacher was my Dad's best friend

    by Surfaces_are_supposed_to_be_FLAT

    And they were both teachers at the same school while I was in primary school. My teacher for year 7 was this guy, who as I mentioned, was my dad's friend at the time; and he used to do things to me like draw on me with felt pens and put masking tape in my hair and then rip it out, hair and all, just for shit's and giggles. The guy was a total cunt whom I feared and hated, and of course he lied when I told the authorities about it. Needless to say It didn't go down much better when I had to face the music at home, because, after all my dad, also a teacher at that school, was his chum. Another terrible teacher I had was a music teacher in high school who used to tap his glass eye with his pen during class. He didn't teach any real music to us, preferring only to give xeroxed (dead-easy) worksheets to kill time. Another teacher I had, who wasn't really bad, but he wasn't really great, was my art teacher at the same high school. He would curse and say stuff like "This is fucking crap" if he didn't like my project. He wore no shoes, or socks, or any footwear at all, and we got to see his cracked, bleeding, blistered feet on a daily basis. (apparently he actually had skin cancer the poor guy). Craziest thing about that class was once when we were doing life study sketching, I arrived late for class, and when I entered, the only available seat was immediately in front of the nude model, who, to be fair, was someone you would not want to see fully naked this close. When she turned her back to us and showed me WAY too much of her 'life' I could do nothing but look at my classmates who were just shocked, laughing, speechless, gagging, and the teacher in the back, I guess thought it was reasonable (and artistic) indeed to expect his students to sketch a woman's browneye.

  • June 19, 2011, 9:24 a.m. CST

    My Bad Teacher and my daughters Bad Teacher

    by mattr

    When I was in 7th grade, my school brought back it's long-defunct Latin program. The had some trouble finding teachers - 5 teachers in 2 years. The most memorable was "Dr. Kobsa", an Eva Braun type, complete with a thick German accent. She had trouble disciplining the students, so she divided the class into 2 sections: as she put it, the "Smart Kids and the Stupid Kids" There was an unused classroom next door, so she put the "Stupid"kids in there, and left them totally unsupervised. I, unfortunately, was deemed a Smart Kid, but could hear all the fun they were having next door. The next year, I switched to Spanish. My elementary-school-aged daughter's Phys Ed teacher was fired for being arrested with heroin & a syringe - fired after he was arrested the 2nd time!

  • June 19, 2011, 10:06 a.m. CST

    My junior school in Wales, fourteen people in it

    by IWasInJuniorHighDickhead

    Once we did a 'Science Experiment' where we had to drink a litre of orange squash, then our teacher would time how long it took before we needed to urinate, and then we'd have to urinate into a measuring jug which he was holding. Girls too. Another time, we brought our swimming costumes in and had to lie in a water filled tub to test water displacement. The best thing about it was that I don't think there was even any malevolent intentions; we were just a tiny school out in the middle of nowhere with no regulation and our teacher just went way off the reservation. One day we came in and the desks were all covered in newspaper, then he came in and started dumping different pieces of animals on the tables. I got a sheep's head. That was the one time we did biology. Then he got well into Victorian reenactment. He took away our football and gave us an inflated pig's bladder as a replacement (not as good). I have actually had authentic 1890s era lessons as a Victorian schoolchild, in an actual Victorian classroom and building (the boys and girls had separate playgrounds, divided off by a high wall). Had to use ink, quills and blotters, use an abacus.<P> All we would really do in class was Maths, out of workbooks. A friend of mine was a maths whiz and he finished the course of books with more than a year to go until secondary school. Instead of getting him something more advanced they just rotated him back to the first book again.<P> People who weren't there often don't believe us when we tell people about school here. But I have nothing but great memories, really. There were so few of us and absolutely no state regulation (or so it seemed, we were a voluntary contributions school so we kind of stood on our own), we just seemed to do maths then go play in the fields or the pond. It was like Picnic at Hanging Rock or something. Punishment would be a whack with a cane, and I remember on one occasion sellotape was used to tie a kid to a chair cause he was kicking and yelling. Looking back on this now I am fucking amazed, the notion of this happening now is unbelievable.<P> Unorthodox schooling kind of bit me in the arse in secondary school, though; we were very creative and free kids (kind of like the Steiner school system) but boy, we knew fuck all. The SATS weren't about then (this was a school I attended from age four in 1984 until 11 in 1991) so that didn't catch us, but it showed. A few years after this, our teacher went on sick leave with a mental breakdown partly due to pressure from review and regulatory boards and he died a couple of years after that, at maybe 45?<P> That's my school life right there.

  • June 19, 2011, 10:11 a.m. CST

    if you want proof, I can direct you to a Facebook page

    by IWasInJuniorHighDickhead

    where those of us who were there trade anecdotes about it.

  • June 19, 2011, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Read the David Foster Wallace story 'The Soul Is Not A Smithy'

    by IWasInJuniorHighDickhead

    for a terrifying 'bad teacher' story. Imagine you're in class and not really paying attention, when your teacher stops writing on the blackboard. You can see he has slipped in the word 'kill them' into the text he was writing. His head cocks extremely to the left, and he starts to make a loud screeching noise...

  • Who wants to listen to the song?

  • June 19, 2011, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Bad Physics Teacher

    by wuher da brewer

    My Physics teacher was in his Seventies. He taught from a college textbook that was written in the Sixties at the beginning of the Nineties. He had a grading policy of only awarding one student in each class an A and two B's. Ten people would earn C's and the rest D or F. My father constantly up there trying to determine why I consistently made a C when I made high A's in every other course and was in advanced placement classes for many other subjects. The teacher constantly told my father I was a very good student, it was just that he didn't reward very good students, only the best students. So, every night my father made me study for several hours to do better in the class. Though I never did. The teacher said it wasn't enough to know the text book, and no matter how many other texts I studied I never excelled. I hated that class and later all of science and grew to where I lied to my father for the rest of my academic career about having homework, often setting the alarm to wake up in the middle of the night to study or do work because of that teacher and the Cs I made.

  • June 19, 2011, 11:48 a.m. CST

    bad teacher

    by thatothercaptainjack

    Back in the day a teacher i had (a nun) stood me up in front of the class and had the other students call me names because she hated me for some reason and loved making my life hell. When I told my parents they didn't believe me though, untill they heard the story from one of the other parents. Needless to say my mother went apeshit, marched into the school and punched the bitches lights out. We all heard her heard the teachers head bounce off the floor in the corridor. Smelling salts were needed to bring her around again.

  • June 19, 2011, 11:48 a.m. CST

    bad teacher

    by thatothercaptainjack

    Back in the day a teacher i had (a nun) stood me up in front of the class and had the other students call me names because she hated me for some reason and loved making my life hell. When I told my parents they didn't believe me though, untill they heard the story from one of the other parents. Needless to say my mother went apeshit, marched into the school and punched the bitches lights out. We all heard her heard the teachers head bounce off the floor in the corridor. Smelling salts were needed to bring her around again.

  • June 19, 2011, 12:45 p.m. CST

    what an asshole

    by mr teaspoon

    I explained to her that I didn't come from some podunk bumblefuck public school. I attended one of the nation's most respected prep schools from grades 7-12.

  • June 19, 2011, 1:39 p.m. CST

    And then in university ...

    by The StarWolf

    I wouldn't pass on hearsay, but a long time friend who also studied under this idiot backs up her story, having gone through the same crap. The prof may be a terrific researcher with lots of great published papers, but he's useless as a teacher. Lady's got straight 'A's for lab work (under another prof) in the subject, but she (and the rest of the class) failed the mid-term exam badly. Why? Because there was only one question which was actually based on the coursework. The rest weren't covered either in the textbook, nor on what the prof had taught during class. Prof's response to complaints? "You kids are stupid, you show no initiative." Apparently, according to this loon, his undergrad students should have Doctoral-level knowledge of the field to be able to pass one of his exams.

  • June 19, 2011, 1:41 p.m. CST

    Am I the only one...

    by Ron Mexico

    Reading this and having a new desire to be a teacher just to fuck with some kids?

  • June 19, 2011, 1:41 p.m. CST

    Am I the only one...

    by Ron Mexico

    Reading this and having a new desire to be a teacher just to fuck with some kids?

  • June 19, 2011, 2:34 p.m. CST

    When I entered the education in ireland...

    by emeraldboy

    corporal punishment had long gone. we are talking about the 1980's. my late father went to my primary school and told them that I had a learning disability. its called dyspraxia. i have it mild. and they told well if that is the case he should go to a special school. my dad fought that argument and won. off to mainstream school I went. where like a lot of other kids i was bullied and was on two occassions humiliated in front of the entire class. as i had a balance problem, tripped and two secretaries stood there and talked as the entire walked on top of me. as there was only one entrance to the class rooms. i saw one 6th classer being physical dragged to the headmaster's office. the headmaster in question quit the education system many years later and went into business with the brother of a fianna fail td. the headmaster was a muppet and lost his temper at the drop of a hat. I saw one teacher ordered our class to ignore a student. I saw one teacher pack the bag of a student she didnt like before kicking him out of class. same teacher humiliated him by isolating on the day that the sam maguire trophy came to the school, she left the window open preceded to shout at him at the top of her voice. she also shouted at this kids mother and we all heard what happened and this same teacher verbally assailed us all day long one day. then on to secondary school. where i saw one teacher call a class mate of mine a stupid individual. this geography teacher was deplorable. he would roar at us at the top of his voice. i was miserable towards the end of my first week in secondary school and really hated going to school. things couldnt get any worse. then I met an obnoxious bully in our class. this kid was a prick to the point where he insulted my mother. and he insulted me through entire first year and by second year he was gone. to replaced by a kid so insane he attempted to set fire my face. and I believe years an assault charge after knocking down an old lady. third year wasnt so bad. then 4th year came. two new students arrived and for the next two years, I was friends with one of them. and wanted to steer clear of the other one. this guy was insane thought kicking the crap out of people was funny and punching people in the arm was hilarious. when the leaving cert came i along I clearly remember this idiot sitting down writing his name and then leaving. what is the point of sending your kids to school if you are going treat everyone with contempt. years later i went on to third level and this idiot got out of the car he was driving arms flailing in the air and nearly knocked me over. third level. went to vec kind of like british poly's or poorman's uni's in ireland. Where I had succession of idiotic teachers. all came from the college's internal teaching program. christ they were all thick. but one buffoon stands out as worst teacher i ever had. he was son of the guy who ran the place. and had no teaching experience what so ever. administratively the place was a shambles. none of the teachers I had in college or in the education system compare to the worst teacher I ever had. he was from down the country. and worked in a large company, in accounts I believe. obviously he was fired or some such thing. he would stand at the top of the class. and would point to an indvidual that he caught talking and say shut it. and would then tell him that we would rip his arm off and use it as a wet sock. this guy said that to everyone. he believed that computers in the college belonged to him. one day when he gave us an exam. the only foreign student in the class was looking for with her exam. she really didnt understand a question. so she kept asking me. and the next thing I heard was mister blank is there a problem. and the look of contempt he gave me was serious enough that I got on with the test in silence. long after i left, my best pal told about he was humiliated by this same teacher and this teacher kicked him out in front the class and told my best pal that he would see to it that he would expelled from the school, this was all over a homework assignment that my friend didnt turn in. he was away at the time. and this teacher knew it and still demanded. it anyway. there is always a techer you dislike and in secondary school it was the english teacher. no one liked her. from 1st year to sixth year. I think this woman was mad. she ripped into a class mate of mine for no reason at all. the class was empty and this female teacher locked and began to tear strips off this female student. two more things. bullying happened in our secondary not just to me, but when I got to fifth year, this kid was bullied so badly that he ran away from the school. schools attitude was to not suspend one of the fifth years, who was a rugby player. this was the same guy who on his leaving cert exam scribbled his name on the page and left the exam. i was humiliated in first year, in front of the entire class for giving up rugby. education is very important. the school that I went to had very catholic ethos. in 1992. i was the oldest kid in the class. for reason which I dont fully understand. but had something to do with me being sick when I started primary school. you would have thought the school would have said, your the oldest and you can vote the way you like. in the abortion referendum. but no i was clearly told to vote the way the school wanted me to vote. i think that kind of thing stinks. but that was my experience of secondary school and for once none of the above is false or made up. I am remain pissed off that my school teachers knew something about me disability and yet ignored for whatever the reason. sorry for the length of the this post. but these are all my experiences...and it makes me made the way the irish govt treats kids with learning disabilities.it really does. its a scandal. it clattered education into them. and treated them as stupid. and to this day any kid who has adhd is removed for being disruptive. it makes me sick.

  • June 19, 2011, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Bad Student

    by cat_herder

    Most of these seem like stories about idiot students (like the anti-"bum day" kids and the ones whining about their self-esteem) rather than bad teachers.

  • June 19, 2011, 2:56 p.m. CST

    My old principal Ms Trunchbowl

    by Vin

    My old principal was a nutcase, she would literally throw children around by their hair, lock children in her office den termed the "chokie", make obese children eat hordes of mudcake, old Ms Trunchbowl always wonder what she is up to now days.

  • June 19, 2011, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Two Stories:

    by AmericanMovieFan

    1) I had a teacher named Doctor Manatt who was a very enthusiastic history teacher. He also had an absolutely batshit insane temper. He was notorious for throwing a spear at the wall if kids talked in class. Somehow, for this, he was not fired or reprimanded in any way. He was also the girl's volleyball coach and ruled them with an insane iron fist during games (I was the team 'manager' aka butt boy because of a medical condition that precluded me from actual sports) Anyway, despite these shortcomings, he was a brilliant history teacher and generally well liked, so he was given the okay to take a class to Europe. All over Europe. Once in Europe, in Amsterdam of all places, a student lost his passport. The American Embassy said it'd be at least a week until they could get him a new one. Well, Manatt had a schedule to keep, so he left the kid in Amsterdam with a few euros and then finished the trip and brought his students back home. We saw him at school on a Monday while this poor kid was still in Amsterdam. If that wasn't bad enough, once he was fired, he created an Evil Paper. Our school news paper was called the Talon, so he created a newspaper called The Claw, in which he revealed secrets about the faculty; who was sleeping with whom, how much everybody got paid and accused our head master of embezzlement. One day he even raided the school bus as we left for the afternoon, handing out propaganda fliers. The school hired security, called bullshit on his information (even though it was true) and filed a restraining order against him. Fun times. 2) I went to an urban school in 8th grade and we had this burned out math teacher who walked into class looking half asleep, sounding like death. He would fill the chalk board up with about a thousand problems and we would just do them, then grade each other's papers to the best of our ability. One day a student got a bad grade and disagreed with the teacher's methods, so the teacher offered to go toe to toe with the 14 year old. They got into an all out fist fight including eye gouging, choking and body slamming. They were both suspended for a week and then allowed back to school.

  • His name was Stroman...so we called him Stroke-man (like...he beats off a lot, you know) and one day a friend of mine sitting behind me made a comment about it and stroman thought i said it so he threw down the gauntlet. i should have beat his ass. he was a little brittle dude who i believe turned into a pedophile. i was just so shocked that he believed i said it.

  • June 19, 2011, 5:05 p.m. CST

    I was bored by our relgious education

    by emeraldboy

    teacher in secondary school. that i am know an agnostic. and there was at least one teacher in that school hated his english heritage so much that he refused to teach us shakespeare in 6th year. even though it was on the cirriculum.

  • June 19, 2011, 8:22 p.m. CST

    @arkhaminmate001 I was thinking the exact same thing

    by sunwukong86

    This movie's trailer makes me cringe

  • June 19, 2011, 9 p.m. CST

    Wait. So I'm an asshole for NOT attending public school?

    by cookepuss

    @tompiltoff: Have you ever SEEN a NYC public school? Many are like junior versions of Ryker's Island. I knew a kid from my block who, for no reason at all, got his face smashed in with brass knuckles and spent the rest of the year with his mouth wired shut and a bunch of stitches. There are some decent NYC public schools, but many are just there to warehouse the kids while their parents are at work. Daycare for teens. Pick up a NY newspaper once in a while. The system is fundamentally broken. There are stories of many kids graduating without the ability to even read. Once you get out of the 5 boroughs, the school system gets better. Inside that range, often tragically bad. Too many kids. Not enough teachers. Crappy pay. No resources. Basic, fundamental programs getting cut. Prison-like security. NYC public schools suck. I briefly attended a NY public school for 6th grade. Guards with guns at the door, right past the metal detectors. Barbed wire fences surrounding the complex. 30-35 kids per class. Teachers manhandling and berating students. Epic fist fights breaking out just about every day. It was like the TV version of NYC come to life, all of the negative and none of the positive. I've even heard stories of finances being so limited that the teachers tend to buy their own supplies and kids bring TP to school. Not rumor. This is what I've heard from people actually inside of the system. There's no way a kid can learn in an environment like that. If thinking that NY public schools stink more than Oprah's burrito farts makes me an asshole then so be it. I'm an asshole and proud of it. Know what the real differences are at a private school? 1. You get qualified teachers who actually want to be there. Many of them have post-grad degrees. Compare that to public schools, where many of the teachers aren't even remotely certified. 2. Private school teachers are competitively payed. According the the NYC Dept Ed site, public school teachers can make up to $75k. I call bullshit. My aunt and her husband are teachers in the system. I'd be surprised if they made that much combined, and they both have MA degrees. 3. In private school, the art & sports programs don't get cut. If anything, they're more likely to get expanded. My old HS now has a 3-story arts center. Last time I visited, I met some kids who were learning to do CG animation. Public school? Art what? What's phys ed? 4. In private school, you will often get an actual campus instead of a building with crazy metal detectors and barb wire fences. 5. My biggest class was maybe 12 kids. My average class was more like 9. My graduating class was maybe only 94 students. Private schools have an awesome teacher to student ratio. None of that 30:1 bull. 6. Wider selection of classes. On the downside, private school costs an arm and a leg. My alma mater costs about $38k, before textbooks. More if you're a new student. I could only attend thanks to scholarships and financial aid. I'm not trashing anybody who has had a positive public school experience in NY. Don't get me wrong. All I'm saying is that it's a VERY well known fact that the system is a mess. It's in so much trouble and we hear about it all of the time on the news. I'm an asshole. So what?

  • June 19, 2011, 9:26 p.m. CST

    Awesome, thanks AICN

    by BlaGyver

    I typed a long-ass post, didn't save it, and it didn't post properly. Sweet.

  • June 19, 2011, 10:02 p.m. CST

    Had that happen to me before blayver. My condolences.

    by cookepuss

    That's why I tend to type my stuff out on notepad before posting it here. It sucks so hard when you type out a long post only for the site to eat it.

  • June 19, 2011, 10:02 p.m. CST

    blagyver (oops) =)

    by cookepuss

  • June 19, 2011, 10:28 p.m. CST

    What's a "caddy bitch"?

    by D.Vader

    I guess its the guy who has to carry your clubs around.

  • June 19, 2011, 11:51 p.m. CST

    Nice one, d.vader. =)

    by cookepuss

    I usually just chalk up misspellings like that to either over-reliance on spell check or the writer simply not being so great with English. Still, your definition of "caddy bitch" had me rollin'. I had totally overlooked that bit on the first read through.

  • June 20, 2011, 12:39 a.m. CST

    Here's my Bad Teacher story

    by CT1

    I saw the trailer and thought it looked like the stupidest piece of dumbass shit with an aging ugly Cameron Diaz I just about ever saw.

  • June 20, 2011, 1 a.m. CST

    Ugly? Really? I mean, have you ever seen how bad 39 can get?

    by cookepuss

    Cameron Diaz isn't 21 any more. That's for sure. However, she's holding up a shitload better than many other women her age. Given how much time she spends in the sun and her skin tone, I'd have expected her to be jerky by now. She's actually still fairly solid. CD, like many women, was less of a hardcore stunner and more the product of good makeup. In that respect, nothing has really changed too much. It's just that she's got less of that baby fat to her face and the clown makeup isn't quite as effective. Honestly, go to www.hotornot.com and see how bad 39 can really look. I'm serious. Cameron Diaz is still the woman most guys would leave their fat, wrinkly wives for. She's just not the stroke fantasy of most horny teens any more. That's it.

  • June 20, 2011, 1:25 a.m. CST

    My teacher told me to vote for Obama.

    by Curious_Jorge

    Worst. teacher. ever.

  • but as someone has been through it, its not the case.

  • June 20, 2011, 5:18 a.m. CST

    like most countries...in ireland....

    by emeraldboy

    you can only get to uni if you can afford it.

  • June 20, 2011, 8:30 a.m. CST

    we had this horrible pre-midlife crisis vanity case

    by Spandau Belly

    This teacher was in his mid 30s and married with a young kid, but he was a vanity nutcase going through some pre-mid-life crisis. He was always telling all the students about how big a playboy he was back in high school. He wore a spandex outift to bicycle to school and made a big point of strutting all the way through the corridors with the front unzipped to his navel and sticking his package out and grinning and winking at all the girls. Whenever a bunch of guys would be throwing a ball outside he would rip off his shirt and start running around with us and playing. He was really letchy with all the girls, frequently announcing which girls he fancied and other times telling chesty gals not to wear tanktops because they're distracting. Anyway, there was this skanky girl who always wore cowboy boots one day he got caught shagging her on the desk and apparently all you could see was her legs and cowboy boots sticking up in the air. No charges were filed, but he got fired and had to go work at Burger King and kids would always go by and taunt him.

  • June 20, 2011, 8:50 a.m. CST

    oh here's mine

    by Dradis Contact

    subs aren't teachers

  • June 20, 2011, 8:59 a.m. CST

    rsanta

    by Dradis Contact

    <p>The only difference that matters between private and public schools is the right to refuse service. If you gave that to public schools, everything would change overnight. School personnel already know which students don't belong there - it's the ones who work every day to get removed from the classroom/building. They don't want to be there, and we don't want them there.</p> <p>Of course, this comes from the fact that in the US, the state has an obligation to provide k-12 education at no cost to students. I'm not opposed to that. But let's not pretend that private schools could meet that need and function as they do without the public school system in the background.</p> <p>Also, in general, private school teachers are paid 30% less than their public school counterparts.</p>

  • June 20, 2011, 9:08 a.m. CST

    CHRIS CHRISTIE SAYS FUCK THE TEACHERS!

    by THAT_SAID_THE_CHOPPAH

    They're all bad! Hire someone to homeschool your kid. What you can't afford that?! Oh well, you should have been born into wealth. Too bad!

  • June 20, 2011, 9:09 a.m. CST

    better program

    by Dradis Contact

    <p>You're probably right that arts don't get cut as readily as in public school. I blame NCLB for that. My theory is that NCLB aims to get the federal government so far up schools' asses that education there becomes impossible and private schools become more and more attractive. It's a way of technocratically defunding public schools, just not in so many words.</p> <p>Sports programs are not phys ed. As a percentage, the number of students in a school who play on the sports teams is very small. A lot of money goes to school sports to push the limits of physical performance for a small number of kids. I'm all for improving physical education in schools. More schools should have intramural sports with a more relaxed atmosphere than high octane interscholastic sports, or just more physical education requirements.</p> <p>It's also not universally true that private schools can offer a wider course selection. For example, the local private school here cannot offer as many advanced classes as the public school due to scale and qualified personnel.</p>

  • June 20, 2011, 9:17 a.m. CST

    by ZodNotGod

    7th and 9th Grade Shop teacher. Mr. Richard Forcum. Why all are shop teachers such loser creeps? Everyone was dumb in his eyes. If you dare made a mistake, he would shake his head in disbelief and uttered “Gosh”, as if you couldn’t be anymore of a retard. This was constant. He never gave you an “atta boy,” just insults. I never knew why he was even there, he was hostile to everyone and acted as though he hated his life and us, granted we were 13 y/o boys, but his job was to teach us, not bully and intimidate. I hate to admit it, he was the only teacher I’ve been afraid of, coming out of a sheltered grade school setting, his overbearing style was scary. Out of that fear, bore my hate; I’ve never hated anyone as much as I did this guy. I stayed out of his way as much as I could, he would throw a few insults at me, but off his radar I remained. His moment of evil occurred with another kid that sat directly behind me. I have no clue what he did, but “Foreskin” as he was called, got in his face, eyeball to eyeball, and screamed at the top of his lungs! It was a scene right out of “Full Metal Jacket” except that movie had not been released yet. This poor kid was a precursor to Private Pyle, being yelled at, taunted, and humiliated. He screamed loud and down deep in his face, had the teacher stuck his tongue out, he'd have touched the kids nose. I knew the kid, didn’t really like him all that much, but that moment, I felt so sorry for him and was hoping he’d do something great like take his pencil and stab that SOB teacher in the eye or spit in his mouth; something, anything, but no. He took that humiliation and Foreskin had a smile on his face when he walked away. To the kids credit, he didn't cry. He was red-faced with rage no doubt, but no crying. After that he was a true menace. I knew then the guy was slime. The worst part is I had him one more year in 9th grade. He did not achieve his evil ever again, but he was still a mocking, twisted old bastard that had me and several other students plotting ways to get trash his car or put exlax in his coffee. After that year, he left never to be heard from again. I hope he is dead, if not, I think I will find him, contact him, and let him know what a real abject prick he was.

  • June 20, 2011, 10:02 a.m. CST

    My High School Math Teacher

    by jericho1368

    Caught me laughing in class, came up from behind me and lifted me out of my chair by my jeans belt hook. He lifted me up, took the flag out of the flag pole and hung me there for ten minutes. I actually laughed harder after he hung me up near the blackboard. Teachers today would be fired and sued if something like that happened today.

  • Takes one to know one

  • Was his name Mr. G? 3 talents, 1, 2, 3? Singing and dancing and acting were his life?

  • June 20, 2011, 11:47 a.m. CST

    rsanta74, did you fight that Philosophy F? If no, why not?

    by jim

    How could the school not have some recourse for students for exactly that sort of situation. Certainly, no institution wants a system that encourages students to complain about every slight adjustment ("I deserve an A+ on that meaningless pop-quiz, no way is it a measly A"). Getting an F on something with such an impact on your final grade sounds like an obvious case for review. Especially since the teacher had nothing else to go on, accusing you of plagiarism, based on nothing more than her gut.

  • June 20, 2011, 11:58 a.m. CST

    My second grade teacher would sometimes throw chalk at us

    by jim

    if we gave a wrong answer or if he thought you weren't paying attention. Would also often yell out "idiot" if you didn't get it right. However, that was only when he was at the chalkboard. When he was roaming through the classroom his educational tool was a rap to the head with his knuckle.

  • June 20, 2011, 12:50 p.m. CST

    superintendents

    by Db

    One day, my fourth grade teacher announces that next week, the "superintendent" of the school will be coming into the classroom and we are to make him all feel welcome. We were instructed to each make posters for this purpose. I'd read a kid's book called "The Mouse and the Motorcycle," in which a kid living in New York City is friends with his apartment complex's superintendent. So I thought, "We're welcoming the janitor-slash-landlord guy? Why does he have to 'visit'? Isn't he here all the time?" So I asked my teacher, "What does the superintendent do?" She said something like, "He's in charge of the school." For me, this verified that he was in fact the school's janitor. So I go home and make a very nice poster saying "Thanks for cleaning up our school!" On the day of his visit, I put up my poster. The teacher reads it, and looks horrified. "Oh, no, this won't do at all!" She took my poster down and ripped it in half and threw it in the trash! I was very confused, and apparently either I couldn't explain myself well enough, or she didn't know the other meaning of the word "superintendent." But the guy visited, wearing a suit, and I thought to myself, "That guy's not the janitor." To this day, I despise all superintendents (the Super Nintendo Chalmers kind, not the janitor kind).

  • the art teacher told me that i was very good at painting. so i decided to work really hard and I painted a picture of african masks and she helped me to draw it and make corrections if made a mistake. this was in transition year and the whole arts thing was to do with parents night. there were two people in the class who were much better then i was. but as fourth years were altogether i thought they might put up this painting. i went into the school canteen and had a look for my painting and discovered it wasnt there because the teachers decided not to hang it up. i had put a lot of work into that painting. My parents would have been very proud to see their sons hanging up in the school. so i was furious. and i demanded answer and the only one that i got was maybe next time. well that would have worked except fourth year was nearly over. and i never went near art again as subject.

  • June 20, 2011, 2:49 p.m. CST

    The math teacher

    by Sprinky

    My least favorite was math. Whatever i tried i always get low grades. I just didn't get it. The added bonus to my horror came in 3rd year in highschool..... This math teacher was oldschool. Stern, didn't crack a smile or a laugh unless it 'was a lame joke he told. Someone who could've been from the '50. His last name was translated Sprout (Yes as in Brussels Sprout). If you didn't know the answer to his question within a half a minute he made you stay after school and write a paper in either English/German/ French language. His favorite holiday country was Malaysia. Why? Because they fined or sentenced people to prison for sticking gum or throwing gum on the street and - this he seems to be fond of because he repeated it dozens of times to us- they have the death penalty. Luckily i never had to stay after school yet there was one instance where he could've done it. i sat in front of him and i just hoped he wouldn't ask me anything. Of course he did and it was torture minutes long, pressured me and making sarcastic comments almost to the point that i was about to break down in tears. Maybe he found that enough punishment. Since then every math teacher after that who might be kind or filled with patience to explain me...i didn't care. As soon as i had the option to ditch math i did. And boy, it was a big load lifted from my back.

  • June 20, 2011, 3:18 p.m. CST

    English teacher in senior school......

    by sam jacksons wig

    ...used to mutter to himself and write nonsense on a miniscule sized piece of paper. He was then caught fucking one of the other (female) teachers over his desk and asked not to be interrupted until he had come... Chemistry Teacher, who had a white plimsol which he used to repeatedly smack students across the head and back; until one day he hit the wrong person and they broke his nose in 2 places. Music teacher that used to go into trances for 5 minutes at a time. We used to throw small pieces of paper at her head...... nothing registered. Maths teacher who used to sit and smoke at his desk. Art teacher who had a glass eye, thought he was good at pottery and made the worst things you could imagine, that if you didn't rave about he used to hit you with chalk.

  • June 20, 2011, 4:54 p.m. CST

    after reading all these posts...

    by emeraldboy

    i have come to the conclusion that teaching is a horrible profession. some teachers are great and can leave a positive impression. they seem to be very few. on the whole they seem to be driven to the point alcoholism my fifth year english teacher was an alcoholic and we had the same teacher for first year religious education. he had a pent up hatred of the british and the church. school was prison for me and i hated every single moment of it. but education is important. i have been doing horse riding lessons with riding for the disabled and previous to that I had no experience of horse riding whatsoever. I passed my grade one test today and that is after only 6 months of horse riding lessons. previous to that no horse riding lessons in my life whatsoever.

  • June 20, 2011, 5:02 p.m. CST

    speaking of pent up people...

    by emeraldboy

    john mcgahern was said to terrify his students when he worked in carysfort college. this was one of the imminent writers in modern irish writing. he would it has been said knuckle students in the back of the head. he could be volatile teacher. though he loved english. he was a vicious teacher for other subjects.

  • June 20, 2011, 5:03 p.m. CST

    @dradis contact & @big jim

    by cookepuss

    @dradis contact: Maybe. However, if you really only took on the kids who wanted to be there or would actually not be disruptive then many public schools would be empty. That still wouldn't fix the problems of school buildings being health hazards, too few teachers actually being qualfied and so on. There are some problems with NY public schools that can't be fixed by giving the administration a basic right of refusal. On top of that, what exactly does society do with the trouble maker kids who refuse to learn and are now tossed out to the curb? No good answer here. @big jim: Honestly, I should have, but didn't. I was 19, for all practical purposes, still pretty naive. When you're young, it doesn't alway occur to you that you can take something like this to a higher authority. You think that the professor is the final word. It never crossed my mind to bring it to the department head or anything. It was a bad year for me and I was in a bad head space. One teacher said I would burn in hell. The other said I should quit school, primarily for her benefit. One called me a thief. Given how bad of an experience I was having there, I'm not sure if I would've followed up anyway. It's one thing to have one bad teacher. To have three in the same year? It leaves you feeling a bit defeated and deflated. That's the ting about being young. You make mistakes because you don't know any better. Today, 18 years later, I'm much more assertive. Experiences like that one hurt like hell, but they taught me to stand up for myself and not take shit from anybody. It still bothers me because, apparently, I was pre-judged before she even read the paper. You can't make assumptions like that. You don't know where your students are coming from, what their backgrounds are, how smart they might be, how hard they work, or whatever. It bugs me that, based on her teaching experience, I couldn't exceed her expectations and my doing so would automatically make me a thief. Oddly, this proves my point that mediocrity rules the world. You can do a half-assed job and still be a 2 term president. You can "phone it in" at work and still get promoted. You can auto-tune your way on to the billboard 100. You can blow shit up on screen in a movie with ZERO plot and earn hundreds of millions at the box office. There's often very little reward for the guy who goes above and beyond. Smarter than your boss? Count on having your dope smoking co-worker being promoted before you. =) Sad? Yeah. True? Totally. I'm not bitter or anything, but I've grown to believe that nice guys really do finish last if they're not careful. Maybe it pays to be a bit of a douche sometimes. (I know how bad that sounds. However, life really is a sick, twisted game sometimes.) Anyway, if I had a chance to do it all over... Yeah, I'd "assert" the hell out of myself. I'd turn her into a fleshy hand puppet and have her calling me "sir". =) Ah, well. The things you do (or don't) when you're young. Sometimes, smart people do really dumb things. That's my only excuse.

  • June 20, 2011, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Maths teacher in middle school

    by Keith

    All-boys school. He used to grab all the boys' asses as though delivering a friendly tickle while you were up at his desk getting personal feedback on some maths problem or other. I think at the age of ten or eleven, we didn't even realize that what he was doing was seriously wrong. Catholic schools, man. Never trust 'em.

  • June 20, 2011, 9:14 p.m. CST

    ahthankyou, rsanta!

    by D.Vader

  • June 21, 2011, 12:31 p.m. CST

    My writing teacher in college stole scripts

    by v3d

    He assigned us to write 30 second commercial spots. He was very specific on the products we were to write about. Several weeks after I turned in my commercial script for a local food company I saw it on television. VERBATIM! I confronted the fucker and he feigned innocence and said it had to be a coincidence. I heard he did it again the next term, but the guy he stole from kicked the shit out of him.

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