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Happy Father's Day Weekend! How about we celebrate with a sweaty shirtless Tom Cruise from Rock of Ages?

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Say what you will about Tom Cruise, but that dude commits and in this pic, debuted by Deadline he seems to be swinging for the fences as Rock of Ages' Stacee Jaxx. I know fuckall about this movie, but I like the cast (including Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Bryan Cranston and Paul Giamatti).

So, check out the pic. Enjoy (but not too much)!

 

 

-Quint
quint@aintitcool.com
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  • June 18, 2011, 3:12 a.m. CST

    First of ages.

    by Franck

  • June 18, 2011, 3:16 a.m. CST

    And second...

    by Franck

    ...wait a minute. Tom Cruise is doing a Glee movie?

  • June 18, 2011, 3:31 a.m. CST

    TC deserves an oscar

    by DylanDenham

    Not for this, obviously, but he's too good an actor to be consistently snubbed, and now (cf Tropical Thunder, more MI, K & D) he's seeking audience approval again

  • June 18, 2011, 3:33 a.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    Looks gay. (not that there's anything wrong with that)

  • June 18, 2011, 3:36 a.m. CST

    What the hell is this movie?

    by King_Knut

    Never heard of it, but damn, I feel like I've jsut stumbled across an Al-Qaeda beheading video: I'm utterly horrified, but I can't look away.

  • June 18, 2011, 3:41 a.m. CST

    Tom Cruise...

    by Franck

    ...has been a good actor, until he forgot to play the character and played himself instead. And vice-versa in real life, where fans thought of him as a great guy, mistakenly confusing him with the charismatic screen hero, , before realizing he is just a not so bright, crazy guy, who thinks he comes from space and has superior powers over the common earthling.

  • June 18, 2011, 3:56 a.m. CST

    Someone's been working out

    by Mozzerino

    Those are some impressive guns, Thomas.

  • June 18, 2011, 3:59 a.m. CST

    re cruise getting an oscar...

    by emeraldboy

    just one problem or two, one he is not that good of an actor. and two he wont get one because of what he believes.

  • June 18, 2011, 4:20 a.m. CST

    Cruise...

    by macheesmo3

    Honestly, I think his best performance ever was in Rainman. He didn't have th showy "full retard" gig, but he really did a hell of a job in that role.... Not to mention he stole Magnolia ( regardless of what you think of the movie, the guy stole it)... He CAN ACT ... but I'm not so sure that Xenu agrees with him "acting" anymore

  • June 18, 2011, 4:20 a.m. CST

    Why does Tom Cruise have a tail in this picture?

    by GWARHOL

  • June 18, 2011, 4:33 a.m. CST

    He didn`t go Full Retard in Rainman because..

    by gabbygall

    ..you should never go full retard.

  • June 18, 2011, 4:39 a.m. CST

    here is my view on cruise...

    by emeraldboy

    he realized after rainman that his career was heading into the toilet. and that if he didnt break the top gun stereotype roles he had been getting since the berg opened the door for him then his career would dead in the water. so he took a huge risk. he bought the Mission Impossible franchise. and everyone said tom your nuts. but it paid off. and today they are still saying that. but he was dominant action star of the 1990s. he was the last of his kind at that time. to open a weekend movie. those days are over. and nobody does that anymore. he is still trying to push things. but whether the audience is still there. is another matter. what I dont like about cruise is that it is only recently that he has let his wife out of the house to act. what a disgraceful thing to do. not that his wife is any grate shakes as an actress. nearly all of the dawson creek gang have careers. and katie holmes. tells u all you need to know.

  • June 18, 2011, 4:47 a.m. CST

    Look at the heels on those boots. 5ft 6 in those

    by catlettuce4

  • June 18, 2011, 4:54 a.m. CST

    Jerry Maguire

    by Sirmausalot

    Watch it again. Hell of a performance.

  • June 18, 2011, 5:30 a.m. CST

    looks like axl rose if he would have stayed in shape

    by dailysportspages

  • June 18, 2011, 5:45 a.m. CST

    Cruise is a competent actor

    by DonRivella

    but not a very good one. He ruined both 'The Color of Money' and 'Magnolia', but has been adequate to good in most other movies. He seems to want to be loved again by taking on easy self-depreciating roles like in 'Tropic Thunder', which is a good career choice. He is also extremely hard working and has a fair chance of having another hit down the road before he becomes too old to for his stick.

  • June 18, 2011, 5:51 a.m. CST

    i will say this about lil tommy..

    by emeraldboy

    he knows how to sell. part of that is working the crowd. he does that better then anyone. but he cant take a joke.

  • June 18, 2011, 5:53 a.m. CST

    Just read the Wikipedia article on 'Rock of Ages'...

    by Zombiana_Jones

    ...Sounds like utter, utter shite...No matter what actors they put into it. But especially Cruise. I find that his 'pretentious assclown' quotient overrules my desire to see most of the product he's involved with these days. Can't wait for the 'Big One', so Hollyweird finally floats away...And we can start anew somewhere else... How about Austin? Shite, shite, shite....

  • June 18, 2011, 6 a.m. CST

    Cocktail......Best Movie ever made.........

    by DirtyWookie

    But I have been up since 5.30am with 3 kids so my mind is a blur!!!!!.....Need more coffee

  • June 18, 2011, 6:06 a.m. CST

    Seriously...It sounds like watching that 'Moulin Rouge' reboot...

    by Zombiana_Jones

    ...From a few years ago, only instead of watching it on the sofa, i'm bent over a crapper puking last night's 9-course Italian dinner out through my nose...While my bowels involuntarily explode from same... I know some people actually like 'Moulin Rouge', but the whole, 'Let's just vomit a bunch of crappy '80's songs instead of coming up with our own soundtrack' left me colder than Anthony Weiner's wife's fish taco. I mean, just so contrived...And super, ultra gay (not that that's wrong, you understand.) In keeping with the whole 'regurgitation' theme, i'll just make a plea to the '(s)hitmakers' in Hollywood and say...Stop puking this shit out. If you don't stop now, soon the movie-going public will be so mindlessly stupefied by this pap that they'll forget how to breathe. And then where will we be? JUST-FUCKING-STOP.......

  • June 18, 2011, 6:16 a.m. CST

    competent cruise

    by DylanDenham

    I agree he's not the most versatile, but I think he's a good actor. Collateral, Minority Report, Rain Man, Magnolia, Jerry Maguire were all great performances, he just needs to throw some indie films, a controversial dark character in there. Clooneys a good example of an A-lister who takes a few chances

  • June 18, 2011, 6:18 a.m. CST

    Tom Cruise in THE GLENN DANZIG STORY

    by MooseMalloy

    Muthaaaaaa!

  • June 18, 2011, 6:28 a.m. CST

    I was just coming out of the film moulin in dun laoghaire

    by emeraldboy

    when I was passing by now defunct electronic store and on sky news was on the tv in the the shop window and that was where I saw what happened 9/11 and the man coming of the shop said when i asked him what the hell had just happened. said a bunch of iraqis had just attacked new york....on that day sky news presenter kay burley would later state that terrorists had just attacked the eastern seaboard of the usa. stupid bitch. all sky news presenters are all abit thick. but thats murdoch sky news babes for you.

  • June 18, 2011, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Reminds me of Rock Star w/Marky Mark

    by elsewhere

  • June 18, 2011, 7:44 a.m. CST

    lol @ the photoshopped versions of this pic about to hit...

    by vulturess

    so this movie is basically about tommy living out his fantasy of being a rocknroll star.

  • June 18, 2011, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Tom Cruise: Midlife Crisis

    by PotSmokinAlien

    Was this photo taken during Tom Cruise's acceptance speech for the Least Self-Aware Human Being Alive award? The levels of insecurity the guy is capable of publically displaying in the name of convincing himself he's heterosexual and/or popular are nothing short of staggering...

  • June 18, 2011, 8:28 a.m. CST

    He looks very similar to how he looked in Legend

    by Bobo_Vision

  • June 18, 2011, 8:29 a.m. CST

    emeraldboy

    by pw

    1. He is that good of an actor. Have you not seen The Outsiders, Rain Man, Born on the Fourth of July, Collateral or Magnolia? Hell, he should have got best supporting actor for Magnolia at the very least. It's an incredible performance. 2. Paul Haggis (who was a sciencetologist at the time) as won 2 Oscars! Stop talking shit again!

  • June 18, 2011, 8:34 a.m. CST

    oh and emeraldboy

    by pw

    You have no idea why Katie Holmes stopped acting. A normal person would speculate, that it's because she wanted a family. Not that Tom keep sher locked up like some pet, you moron!

  • June 18, 2011, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Cruise is definitely at times a great actor.

    by SAILOR_RIPLEY

    Should have won supporting Oscar for Magnolia. He was great in Rain Man and Jerry Maguire, but I would say his best leading performance was in Born on the Fourth of July. That scene where he comes home drunk and gets into it with his Mother is a great bit of acting. Unfortunately he lowers his appreciation with his stupid Top Gun type bullshit.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:04 a.m. CST

    PENIS!!! PENIS!!!! BIG FUCKING ERECT PENIS!!!!

    by Bobo_Vision

  • June 18, 2011, 9:06 a.m. CST

    This is a movie that will not be seen.

    by Subtitles_Off

    Except by American Idol and Glee fans. You know, the gays. Tommy's people. He should just come out, already.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:12 a.m. CST

    moosemalloy

    by sundancekeed

    I thought the same thing. Tom Cruise is playing Glenn Danzig. And it makes sense. They're both about 5'2".

  • June 18, 2011, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Cruise deserved an Oscar for EYES WIDE SHUT.

    by Ditko

    He´ll win one eventually, tho.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Will this depict Danzig's time with the Misfits?

    by THE_CHOPPAH

  • June 18, 2011, 9:24 a.m. CST

    I love how everyone has an bad opinion....

    by gabbygall

    .. on a film they know fuck all about.. In my opinion Tom Cruise, apart from all that Scientology nonsense - is normally indicative of a film worth seeing. Love an actor who always gives it 110% - he can never be accused of phoning in his performance. The guy deserves an Oscar at some point. Sometimes I feel that most of the people on this site fucking hate movies - regardless of how good they are.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:24 a.m. CST

    i have seen rainman...

    by emeraldboy

    hoffman won the oscar for that... magnolia I have seen that too. he was good in that movie, I will admit that. I thought it was a nice way for cruise to say goodby to his dad publicly. Cruise's best performance was collateral. and that i reckon was the best performance of his career. he was one of the best action stars of the 1990s. I would like to see a film where his character bites the bullet. and it was one reasons why couldnt stand him the last samurai but he was the producer on that. so making a film where he dies wouldnt make sense. the man took a huge risk by buying the mission impossible franchise. he has made more then anyone else here and that includes your bro, barry knowles. i Just wish that he would leave the bullshite religious stuff behind and act. which is what he is supposed to do. and its why we the punters pay to see his films. but I do think alot of people got fed up with him cause he was throwing his career away.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:31 a.m. CST

    TC pretty much always delivers.

    by dr sauch

    Sure, he's in a cult, but I really don't give a fuck what an actor believes if he or she makes good movies.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Tom Cruise come out of the closet!!

    by KinkyClown

    Never gets old.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:36 a.m. CST

    i have seen nearly all of cruise's films....

    by emeraldboy

    at this point. in the miasma of all the top gun crap he has made some really good films. and he does put everything into his performances and knows how to sell and play the game. those who are in the game and on top know that being on top by any means necessary is vital.

  • June 18, 2011, 9:43 a.m. CST

    Ewwwwwww

    by corkiboy

    When I saw the pic, I'm like ewwwwwwwwww Tom Cruise put your shirt on ewwwww.

  • June 18, 2011, 10:01 a.m. CST

    emeraldboy

    by pw

    Oh shut up, McFly, you Irish bug!

  • June 18, 2011, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Scientology churches

    by johanna_kurt

    They're pretty much everywhere. I wonder how they're funding these churches.

  • June 18, 2011, 10:20 a.m. CST

    I had something to say about this...

    by MoffatBabies

    but the spelling and grammar here, just today... here... has been so bad that for the first time in a talkback, I actually cannot follow what is trying to be said in some cases. I'm not some kind of spelling Nazi, but when you cannot get across the BASIC idea that you're trying to convey because your spelling or grammar is so horrible, I have to get lost and give up. I'm no angel in this department, trust me, but usually I'm the king of typos. Get it together, folks. What a fucking mess.

  • June 18, 2011, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Ronnie James Dio biopic

    by deelzbub

    Tom Cruise is the perfect height

  • June 18, 2011, 10:39 a.m. CST

    the shut up part of your comment barryknowles i understand

    by emeraldboy

    but the rest of it not so much.

  • June 18, 2011, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Say what you want about Cruise... but that is a cool pic.

    by Jerry Piper

  • June 18, 2011, 11:07 a.m. CST

    tom cruise rocks...not at all.

    by FleshMachine

    that looks embarrssing

  • June 18, 2011, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Well fuck, he got ripped

    by BlaGyver

    This play is delightfully stupid. If anything, we're in for one of the most entertaining failures ever. On the other hand, with this cast, it could somehow end up being great.

  • it's like shoving a self deprecating joke back in the maker's face. There's no glory it.

  • June 18, 2011, 11:47 a.m. CST

    on the ever of the release of war of the worlds...

    by emeraldboy

    which conducted on the universal lot the interview who i think was called trey. the rasta looking guy from mtv usa. asked cruise about his lack of an oscar and cruise said he knew he was never going to win one and said that he didnt really if he did. there was huge buzz that cruise would be up for one for that nazi plot to kill hitler movie directed by brian singer. but his long time producer friend paula wagner got her p45 after they took over united artists. cruise bought the company. in a move that stunned hollywood at the time. the singer directed movie bombed at the box office. and oscars were forth coming. Paula wagner was asked was she a scientologist. she didnt answer the question instead gave a long rambling answer. and there have also rumours that her and cruise were a married couple. and that his other marriages were shams.

  • June 18, 2011, 11:49 a.m. CST

    I still think he's gay

    by JeffManSixtyFo

    petri dish baby

  • June 18, 2011, 11:49 a.m. CST

    by Jay Eyler

    It's a mic stand, not a tail.

  • June 18, 2011, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Hellllo, Cleveland! Who's ready for some closeted gay sexxxxxxx!!!! WooHoo!

    by EastBayFrankenstein

  • carefully constructed simulations of intensity with desperation leaking through the cracks. The one convincing emotion is an irritating and pitifully endearing hope that believing in something hard enough will make it true. In this case, that could be either a good or a bad thing. But if anyone else compares dear old MotherChoppah to Tom Cruise I'll impale you up the ass and out the mouth on a blunt greasy pole.

  • June 18, 2011, 11:53 a.m. CST

    I'll also say this about Cruise

    by BlaGyver

    In Russell Brand's book (let your opinion of him be set aside in this situation, because really, it's irrelevant) he talks about a time that he met Cruise and says something along the lines of "I have never met an actor so very aware of what the public thinks of his image and at the same time doesn't give a fuck at all. He's accepted that there's nothing he can do to change the general opinion of him and is now in a place where he's gonna do what he loves and live his life without worrying about it." Which I thought was interestingly refreshing.

  • June 18, 2011, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Looks like he's flailing about...

    by Queefer Sutherland

    ...with a broken-off dick up his ass.

  • June 18, 2011, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Zombiana, most of the greatest musicals ever made...

    by Lenny Nero

    ...used previously released songs. The concept of which you speak -- original songs for the narrative -- is a Broadway conceit that leaked into films and, with all the adaptations, kind of destroyed the genre. But if you want to get into Gershwin, Berlin, Freed, etc., you'll find that "Moulin Rouge" was only taking on the best qualities of the genre in this respect. If you don't like the bombastic nature of the film and the threadline plot, that's another thing, but "not having original songs" is a miserable excuse and completely ignorant of the genre.

  • June 18, 2011, 12:14 p.m. CST

    As for "

    by Lenny Nero

  • June 18, 2011, 12:15 p.m. CST

    As for "Rock of Ages," it's not much of a show...

    by Lenny Nero

    ...but the movie, if done right, could transcend its stage roots. It's happened before, and Shankman has a better understanding of choreography and musical staging than the director of the stage version of "ROA" ever did.

  • June 18, 2011, 12:30 p.m. CST

    emeraldboy, are you okay?

    by ragingfluff

    Your posts are garbled and all over the place in terms of syntax, spelling and grammar. Also in terms of relevance (not sure what the post about you leaving the cinema in Dun Laoghaire on 9/11 - and how it was reported by that silly tart Kay Burley - was all about ... or what it had to do with Tom Cruise). I have never heard anything good or bad about Paula Wagner, and as i understood it, she wasn't canned by Paramount, Cruise was (but because she's his business partner she got caught in the firestorm). I couldn't care whether she and Cruise are an item, and I'm surprised you would spread such gossipy rumours and speculation ... usually you're just here to talk about films and you care about the stories, acting, etc, not tabloid nonsense. Also, re. Katie Holmes, ditto. She does act. She's just not a very good actor (with the notable exception of the Thanksgiving Day indie thing she did with Oliver Platt). She was just in a very bad miniseries about the Kennedy Family (it really was quite bad and rather tawdry, and will probably set back the career of everyone involved, with the exception of Barry Pepper, who was quite good in it)

  • June 18, 2011, 12:34 p.m. CST

    i am not surprised cruise is doing this...

    by emeraldboy

    he was a hoofer in college. and loved it. but his dad demanded he become a sports guy. so he quit the high school drama club and went to high school wrestling and football. but he loved drama. by all counts cruise was a very good singer and dancer. he put a lot effort in. he always has. it was during the wrestling that he broke his nose. they do say that people with mild learning difficulties end up in stuff like performing. danny radcliffe and florence welsh are two examples.

  • June 18, 2011, 12:41 p.m. CST

    lenny nero, thank you for pointing that out about musicals

    by ragingfluff

    The best screen musicals used old songs that were standards. See "Singing in the Rain", which only had one original song ("Moses Supposes"): all the others were almost twenty years old when the film was made.

  • June 18, 2011, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Rock of Ages

    by Movidude74

    I love the show Rock of ages, I have seen it 49 times on broadway, but I fear the movie. they cut my favorite characters, they cast Russel Brand as the character that the original audition notice called for a Jack Black Type. And Fuck Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx People think I am nutz for seeing the show as much as I have, and they will be convinced once they see this adaptation. (for the record, in my group of friends, I am a distant Fifth in number of times seeing it. Our fearless leader had seen it 200 plus times in New York before it moved venues, and that doesn't count Toronto, Boston and Baltimore, plus however many times since it re-opened at the Hayes)

  • June 18, 2011, 2:23 p.m. CST

    cock of ages

    by snookibaconmuffpie

  • He claims he went to school and doesn't drink. It is really weird.

  • June 18, 2011, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Don't look at Tom Cruise HARRY or you'll go BLIND!!!

    by Darth_Kong

  • June 18, 2011, 3:38 p.m. CST

    the great thing about anonymity...

    by emeraldboy

    is you can say whatever you like and not know the real person. maybe I should drop the moniker emeraldboy. completely.

  • June 18, 2011, 3:39 p.m. CST

    or maybe...

    by emeraldboy

    I will stop posting. completely.

  • June 18, 2011, 3:47 p.m. CST

    by Cobra--Kai

    emeraldboy, dont stop posting I enjoy your rambles. We all take a few hits now and then... But like the Millennium Falcon somehow we hold together!

  • Nirvana was total garbage feel sorry for me snot

  • June 18, 2011, 4:25 p.m. CST

    MIDGET WITH A MIKE! Don't see THAT every day...

    by LargoJr

    I don't think the big T.C. has been a part of a project I was actually interested in seeing in almost 20 years... Maybe if, just ONCE, he could do an ensemble film that DIDN'T have him taking center stage for 99% of the film. He came close with Tropic Thunder... and the movie was funny. I just don't like the man I guess.

  • June 18, 2011, 4:28 p.m. CST

    IGGY POP!

    by Bill Clay

    Cruise has that same shirtless flesh-melting physique.

  • June 18, 2011, 4:35 p.m. CST

    It's a mic stand, not a tail.

    by jim

    But what's that just above his left foot (tucked behind his right knee)? It's not part of his leg.

  • June 18, 2011, 4:36 p.m. CST

    harry owns this site...

    by emeraldboy

    and his reviews ramble.

  • June 18, 2011, 4:37 p.m. CST

    and they are full

    by emeraldboy

    of errors. and nobody calls him drunk. or mental.

  • June 18, 2011, 5:21 p.m. CST

    Nice to see Tom embrace his inner-faggot

    by AzulTool

  • June 18, 2011, 5:24 p.m. CST

    yeah melonman

    by emeraldboy

    youre right there.

  • June 18, 2011, 5:25 p.m. CST

    i wonder will lil tommy

    by emeraldboy

    ever leave his church.

  • June 18, 2011, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Wait. There's a Broadway show based on 80s Arena Rock?

    by Subtitles_Off

    And, for the movie adaptation, they've cast America's best-detested closet case? So, it's, like, totally acceptable to yell "GAY!" at this? Nobody can complain, because it's obviously a Pride thing. So effin' gay. And not in the there's-nothing-wrong-with-it way, either. In the full-on, flamboyant, I'mma-dude-that-likes-wearing-girl's-panties-because-it-makes-me-feel-pretty way. The Lady-GaGa-is-really-very-talented-because-she-writes-her-own-songs way. I don't want to get confused with the Tracy-Morgan-would-stab-a-kid crowd. 80s hair-rock music fukking SUCKED. This can't possibly be any gayer than the real thing.

  • June 18, 2011, 6:02 p.m. CST

    "Featuring the music of Journey and Whitesnake."

    by Subtitles_Off

    Yeah, right. Nirvana sucked. Oh, fukk this dead.

  • June 18, 2011, 6:52 p.m. CST

    Cruise looks like he'd spell fuck with two Ks in this pic.

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    He definitely looks like a "fukk" kind of guy.

  • June 18, 2011, 7:05 p.m. CST

    "Fukk" makes me think of "Dokken"...

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    cutesy-tough. I wonder if you could letter fukk on your three ring binder and not get detention.

  • June 18, 2011, 8:09 p.m. CST

    My sister woulda bated' to this in 1988

    by PvtTOUCH

    Like I did when I pulled up this article

  • June 18, 2011, 8:34 p.m. CST

    Why do I feel like

    by SenatorJeffersonSmith

    90% of my posts on this site are defending Tom Cruise? Leave your baggage at the door of the theater when you see a movie he's in, and you'll realize he's perfectly capable of damn near any role. I was one of the few who thought he'd make a great Iron Man when that was rumored to be happening (though I will admit that RDJ was a much better choice). Any time I see his name in a movie that seems like it may be decent, I'm in. Obviously I skip the dreck like Knight and Day, but come on...Jerry Maguire, Born on the 4th of July, Magnolia, even Vanilla Sky. I think he's pretty damn great in those. Anyway, fuck haters. Find something better to do with your time.

  • June 18, 2011, 11:36 p.m. CST

    I'm going to love this movie

    by CherryValance

    I can't imagine how I won't. Although, I did say the same thing about MAMMA MIA! and I never even made it through half of that. But I'm counting on that kind of disaster not happening twice. It's just not possible. TC looks really good here.

  • June 19, 2011, 2:11 a.m. CST

    That's Tom Cruise sweaty?

    by Bass Ackwards

    or...that's Tom Cruise at 49? Fuck you Tom Cruise.

  • June 19, 2011, 3:24 a.m. CST

    awww emeraldboy, we love you really

    by pw

    It's jsut you are just so infuriating with your hard to read random facts and speculative bullshit. Feel free to change names, but we will spot your inane ramberlings a mile off! :)

  • June 19, 2011, 3:27 a.m. CST

    oh and...

    by pw

    You always insult Harry and his site. That's fair enough, but you should be able to at least take what you give out, you little mental case you.

  • Begin fapping.

  • June 19, 2011, 5:35 a.m. CST

    @moosemalloy

    by Stalkeye

    Well, Tom IS small enough to play the iconic Punk/Metal dwarf . However, he would still need to bulk up jus a little and adjust his jowls somewhat.

  • June 19, 2011, 5:46 a.m. CST

    Arena Rock sucks as much as grunge.

    by Stalkeye

    WTF is that nonsense? "Rock me like a hurricane"? "living on a prayer"? "don't wanna miss a thing"? NNNNYYYRRGGGHHHHHH!! I'll take Sepultura, Slayer, Biohazard, Megadeth and even fucking Rob Zombie over these Glam queffer bands anyday.

  • June 19, 2011, 5:49 a.m. CST

    And yes Nirvana is one of the most overrated bands ever!!

    by Stalkeye

    Smells like Teen Spirit? Actually, it sounds like mope garbage. The Clash is still more relevant than this band that got noteriety via fluke.

  • June 19, 2011, 5:53 a.m. CST

    Rock of Gayges?

    by Stalkeye

  • June 19, 2011, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Tom Cruise is okay as an actor

    by James_Camera_On

    I actually liked War of the Worlds (saw it twice in theaters) and Valkyrie. But this picture made me laugh out loud. It was like Betty White doing Lady Gaga. Maybe it will be a great film and take every Oscar there is, but I wouldn't put money on it.

  • June 19, 2011, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Lookit, Wil' Choppah. Trying to pikk a fight again.

    by Subtitles_Off

    I should probably start spelling things the way Ahnold pronounces them. You know, so I can be just like the cool kids.

  • "Beat It." And, "Don't Stop Believing" will probably still be playing in sports domes. "Rock the Casbah" will only get played when we drop bombs on some impoverished family in the mid-East. "Wrong 'Em Boyo" still won't get played on the radio at all. Lady GaGa's new crap might get played on rock radio as a tribute to Clarence Clemons. So, what have we proven? The 80s still suck.

  • June 19, 2011, 10:48 a.m. CST

    subtitles_off: I used to think I hated gays, too.

    by AssyMuffJizz

    Only, after a period of intense introspection, I realized that hate was for myself. Letting go and coming out of the closet was the best decision of my life. Your comments about gays don't anger me. Rather, they stir a profound pity in my heart because I've been where you are, and it's a painful place. The sooner you're honest with yourself, the better. You can be happy again.

  • June 19, 2011, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Cruise usually does nothing for me.

    by AssyMuffJizz

    But he looks like an especially active power bottom in this pic. I'd hit it.

  • June 19, 2011, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Billy, you speak from experience, I gather?

    by AssyMuffJizz

  • June 19, 2011, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Grunge is fucking terrible

    by JonOfTheShred

    As cheesy as arena rock was, at least they didn't take themselves or life too seriously. It was about partying and fucking pussy. And they actually displayed, ya know, talent. Grunge was pre-emo emo music. If you're gonna make anti-system music, you outta, you know, display INTELLIGENCE. At least a LITTLE? And maybe some talent, too? Because if you're trying to bring the corporations down, dumbing down the music is going to, in effect, dumb down your audience. If anything, grunge moved everything BACKWARDS. I'd much rather listen to some good old militant hip hop over grunge any day of the week. Arena rock is a lot better than grunge, which to me wasn't all that far removed from emo and the "Nickelback" bands of the 2000's. All the singers sounded the same and none of those hacks could play their guitar worth shit. Alice in Chains was ALL RIGHT, but they aren't the fucking rock gods people make them out to be. Oh yea, and Led Zeppelin is the most overrated band of all-time, even worse than Nirvana. Buncha hacks

  • June 19, 2011, 2:55 p.m. CST

    Aw, shucks, assy. You have me confused with yourself.

    by Subtitles_Off

    You don't wanna do that.

  • June 19, 2011, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Cheesy >>>> Corny

    by JonOfTheShred

    In terms of music and movies, I'm always of the firm belief that cheesiness trumps corniness. Corny is far more difficult to endure than cheesy, because of several reasons: Cheesy is fun, light-hearted, and self-aware. Corny is heavy handed, dull, and has completely no idea how fucking lame it is, taking itself way too seriously.

  • June 19, 2011, 4:05 p.m. CST

    subtitles_off: I see anger in your posts, and that's okay.

    by AssyMuffJizz

    It's tough looking inside yourself and seeing a truth you were taught to hate. Anger is to be expected, at least for a little while. Hold on to it too long and you can end up in some bad places. I know. Let go, man. You'll feel a lot better. All this rage isn't worth the damage you're doing to yourself.

  • June 19, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST

    speaking of aging rockers...

    by emeraldboy

    this is hilarious. possibly a load of bs...u2 are playing a gig in glasgow and bono stops the all the music and starts clapping slowly and says whenever i clap my hands a child dies somewhere in the world to which an audience member says well why dont you stop fucking doing then...

  • June 19, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Don't mind Billy Faulkner.

    by AssyMuffJizz

    He's working through his own issues.

  • June 19, 2011, 4:41 p.m. CST

    I'm re-reading all of my posts on the subject.

    by Subtitles_Off

    I'm looking for the translation that implies I hate gays. I don't really see it, but that's ok, too. It is always the right of the offended to define his or her offense, not the offender. So, um, sorry about that, assy. I will defend every human's right to love and be loved by any other consenting adult. Just don't expect me to put the glitter on and shake my ass to gay music or enjoy gay TV shows. Now, we can argue all we want to on what makes a TV show or music "gay," since I think it is still impossible for TV shows to penetrate same-sex TV shows, but I think you know what I mean. I go by the obvious definition. The same one Entertainment Weekly uses. Hating that crap should be within my right as much as hating superhero movies. That doesn't define me as an angry bigot. I don't think. But, I ain't mad about it.

  • June 19, 2011, 4:41 p.m. CST

    You're a disgrace to the gay movement.

    by THE_CHOPPAH

    There is no gay and straight, just penetrated and penetrator, chopped and choppah. There's a time and place for everything. I used to let my third wife chop me from time to time, but she had to do the Mary Poppins voice. That scolding accent was sexy as hell coming out of an Asian chick. Petetraded, penetrator, chopped, choppah, Tom Cruise or cruising Tom...the only real shame is in spelling fuck all cutesy with two Ks.

  • June 19, 2011, 5:21 p.m. CST

    AICN and the mysterious case of the disappearing quotation marks.

    by THE_CHOPPAH

  • June 19, 2011, 5:31 p.m. CST

    "Gay culture" isn't demanding anything of you, subtitles_off.

    by AssyMuffJizz

    No one is expecting you to shake your ass with glitter. Being gay doesn't have to mean being a flaming queen. I get a kick out of that stuff myself, but I don't indulge in it. I'm a fairly conservative guy when it comes to my attire and social life. It's not like once you come out there's Liza, Gaga and a dozen drag queens singing along to old Judy Garland records. Hell, the record I listened to the most after coming out was "Physical Graffiti." It was comforting, it was "normal." The Queer Thought Police aren't going to seize you and dress you in Tom Ford and confiscate your Stones and Hendrix records when you come out, subtitles.

  • June 19, 2011, 5:37 p.m. CST

    Assuming you listen to the Stones and Hendrix, that is.

    by AssyMuffJizz

    I'm just providing an example. I didn't mean to offend you by assuming anything.

  • June 19, 2011, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Subby, your confusion

    by D.Vader

    You said 80s hair rock fucking sucked. You said this can't be gayer than the real thing. You made a correlation between something fucking sucking (in the negative sense) and being gay. Therefore, it can come across that you are anti-gay.

  • June 19, 2011, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Vades. Let me clarify, then.

    by Subtitles_Off

    80s rock fucking sucked. People engaged in sexuality fuck and suck. Bon Jovi had gay hair. Seriously. Feathered and permed. And, the 70s were at least fifteen years over already, so there was no excuse for it. I have nothing to come out of or as. If "gay culture" weren't demanding anything, whatshisname wouldn't be accusing Foo Fighters and Kings of Leon of being homophobic. And, rappers wouldn't be apologizing every other day for some stupid thing they said. (Come on! They're rappers. They say stupid shit, professionally!) It doesn't matter how I come across. I've never hurt anybody, physically. I also said, it is assy's right to consider me as a hater of homosexuals. I'm sorry he thinks that of me. I think he's more confused than I am.

  • That's simpleminded, and, as a gay man, a little insulting. Besides, were pirates gay for wearing earrings? Were French noblemen gay for wearing powder and wigs? Were Scottish men gay for wearing kilts? Were renaissance men gay for wearing tights and cod-pieces? Were ancient Greeks gay for wearing bathrobes and fingering supple adolescent boys?

  • June 19, 2011, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Is whatisname demanding something from you, though, subtitles?

    by AssyMuffJizz

    The fact that I don't know who whatshisface is or why he's bothering the Foo Fighters (great band, by the way) should go to show that the gay culture you see in magazines or on TV is that imposing or pervasive. (What were you talking about there, by the way? I'm curious now.) Really, you don't have to be a drag queen or cruise Central Park after midnight to be gay. I'm out and proud and perfectly straight-laced. It's about what YOU want to do, not about what you don't want to be or what you think others are trying to get you to be. Who are YOU, subtitles_off? From what I see here, based on your posts, you're angry, scared, resentful, sure, but you're also smart, articulate and opinionated. You can be happy. It just starts with a little self honesty.

  • June 19, 2011, 7:39 p.m. CST

    THAT was a joke.

    by Subtitles_Off

    You'd think I said gays don't have a sense of humor. And, yeah. Whatshisname's assumption that every rocker should automatically be flattered having their music gayed-up by mellismatic teen actors is demanding something from me. He's demanding that I accept the fact that a gayed-up, mellismatic version of "Big Me" is something that the world needs or wants. When, in fact, it's existence would be an insult. Now, are you gonna demand that I change my opinion?

  • I would suggest you change your assumption, but I'm not that bothered by it, truly.

  • June 19, 2011, 8:26 p.m. CST

    Faulkner

    by AssyMuffJizz

    My real father was murdered before I was born. Seriously. So, no. Your disowning/boner hypothetical situation isn't a factor.

  • June 19, 2011, 8:53 p.m. CST

    I don't think being gay as anything to do with Whatshisname

    by D.Vader

    Being Egomaniacal has everything to do with Whatshisname. Being gay has nothing to do with his reaction to Foo Fighters and Kings of Leon declining to have their songs used on the show.

  • June 19, 2011, 8:54 p.m. CST

    Faulkner didn't get the "you speak from experience" joke

    by D.Vader

    Go figure.

  • June 19, 2011, 9:29 p.m. CST

    d.vader

    by AssyMuffJizz

    It's best you try not to make sense of Faulkner's blather. He's been really incoherent lately. I think HE might be coming to grips with some uncomfortable truths himself.

  • June 19, 2011, 9:32 p.m. CST

    subtitles_off

    by AssyMuffJizz

    Look, I'm sorry if I've upset or offended you. Just know that if you need someone to talk to I'll be around. There's no shame here (obviously--it's AICN!), and the anonymity of talkback handles. Again, your bitterness and anger toward gay people and "gay culture" in general remind me a lot of my stance on a lot of things in the dark, confusing years before I came out. Do not be afraid, and do not be ashamed. I know it's a cliche by now, but it gets better.

  • June 19, 2011, 11:57 p.m. CST

    technically his hair is "glam" not "gay"

    by WINONA_RYDERS_PUSSY_JUICE

    Music NOWadays SUCKS. Not the 80's dude!!!

  • June 20, 2011, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Willie -- I sincerely pity you.

    by AssyMuffJizz

    Here are a few points you may wish to consider: 1) I'm not accusing folks of being gay willy nilly. You have been given to frequent homophobic statements since you first popped up in TB late last year. Similarly, subtitles_off's anti-gay rant earlier in the thread was unprovoked by me. I merely responded to it. 2) How long has it been since you posted a TB message on topic? Answer: quite a while. In fact, all of your posts over the past few weeks have solely been homophobic jabs aimed at me. Sounds like you're obsessed -- with a gay man, no less. It doesn't take a master of psychiatry to speculate that you may have sexual orientation issues. 3) I am glad to state that I'm entirely free of internal anger or bitterness. I struggled with both for many years, but coming out of the closet--finally accepting who I am--was the smartest move I ever made. I'm happy and at peace with myself. It is true that we are all strangers here, more or less, but--based on what I perceive from your TB posts--I can only deduce that it is *you* who are filled with sadness, bitterness and rage. William, I hope you can find the courage within yourself to get help. If that means coming out of the closet, great. If that means seeking psychiatric assistance through therapy and/or medication(s) for your OCD and anger issues, please do. Good luck, man.

  • June 20, 2011, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Cruise does his hair-acting thing

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    Long:MI2, Magnolia, Born On The Fourth Of July, The Last Samurai Medium/Short: Everything else.

  • completely fucking incorrect. Tom Cruise was actually the best part of Magnolia. It's just that you are completely fucked in the head you see?

  • June 20, 2011, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Agree. The heels definitely help him stand eye to eye

    by UltraTron

    with tiny, petite female leads

  • June 21, 2011, 10:10 a.m. CST

    William -- you really are a *sad* man, aren't you?

    by AssyMuffJizz

    It's pretty clear who's spitting childish vitriol at whom, isn't it? And it's imminently clear who has the clearer, calmer, stronger and more educated mind (not to mention the superior writing ability) between the two of us. Admit it, William. You have a problem. Whether it's secretly masturbating to boy-teen celebrity magazines or actually having the balls to sneak out to your local gay strip club for a quick thrill, you're clearly a queer on the down low. Your obsession with gay men in general and specifically your obsession with me pretty much tells me all I need to know about you. As for "people in the real world who call [me] a fag"? You know, I'm pretty butch looking, and I'm very well built (in the gym and the dojo five times a week). Not many folks have called me a fag to my face in the past twenty years. And the couple of guys who have almost instantly regretted it. And--just for the record--I'm a solid top. Never been ass fucked. Never had the urge to be. Never will be. You OTOH are definitely a bottom. Don't get me wrong, though. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a bottom. What would we tops do without guys like you, William?

  • June 22, 2011, 10:11 a.m. CST

    William

    by AssyMuffJizz

    Your proclivity for trying to get the last word in a dead TB (in which clearly we are the only ones present) is... well... sad. Believe me or not about being a top and being in good shape. I am. It is what it is. I spent many years of my life in less than good shape, but over the past ten years I've significantly changed my ways, including religiously going to a local Shotokan Karate dojo three times a week. I'll be testing for my black belt within the year. Believe it or not. And, William: there's no shame in being fucked in the ass. I know you probably will never accept or understand that. But it's true. My fiancé and I have been together for over five years now and are looking into finding an egg donor and a surrogate womb to carry our children (we want two). He happens to be a bottom. I happen to be a top. It could've easily been the reverse case (or some combination thereof), and that would've been fine. You know, the truth is I've never been raped (nor did I ever state I had been raped--you're the one who "deduced" that). You seem pretty obsessed with this idea. It's curious that this subject has utterly reduced you to sixth grade playground banter. I'm frankly disappointed in you and expected better. In fact, how old are you, William? I just turned 40. I sincerely hope you are less than half my age, since that would give you at least a chance of maturing beyond your troubling obsessions and rage. Another question: were you molested as a kid? Seriously. Because the guys I've met with your level of homophobia have often turned out to be victims of molestation. Again--in all seriousness: seek help, William. You're sick, and you should find assistance before you harm yourself or others. 1-800-273-TALK. Seriously, man.

  • June 23, 2011, 10:23 p.m. CST

    I suspected your apology wasn't in earnest... at least not consciously.

    by AssyMuffJizz

    ...which is why I waited an extra day to respond. Unfortunately, my suspicions were validated. Please seek help, William: for your own sake and the sake of your loved ones.

  • June 24, 2011, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Who are you communicating with, William?

    by AssyMuffJizz

    You do realize it's just you and me now, right? Anyone who does fall upon this conversation by chance will undoubtedly judge you deranged and filled with obsessive and juvenile bile. They may well not judge me favorably either.... However, it's pretty clear that--between the two of us--you are the loser. After all, you surrendered to me days ago. Surrender accepted, William. Goodbye.

  • June 25, 2011, 6:34 a.m. CST

    BTW, Have you heard the good new, William?

    by AssyMuffJizz

    I happen to live in NYC, so my fiancé and I can get married in our own city and state! Hallelujah!