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Mr. Beaks Is This Side Of Chartreuse On GREEN LANTERN!

GREEN LANTERN is such a terrible movie for a good chunk of its running time that when it rallies late to become the GREEN LANTERN movie it should've been from the beginning, the fan who is well versed in the character's mythology may be inclined to give it a pass and delay judgment until the next installment. It could've been worse. This is far from ideal, but it is standard operating procedure for the "Issue #1s" of superhero movies anymore: waste the audience's time with uninspired origin wheel-spinning, then leave 'em amenable to a sequel. THOR pulled this trick last May, and few seemed to care. As long as the contours of the narrative are recognizable (i.e. nothing has been drastically altered from whatever constitutes canon), everything is everything.

This is the state of the modern superhero film: expectations have plummeted to the point where studios figure they don't need to knock themselves out "getting it right" in the scripting phase. Most of the energy seems to be expended on figuring out which take on the character will play best for a general audience; from there, it's Hero's Journey 101, which for some reason typically requires the input of multiple screenwriters. On GREEN LANTERN, it's the vision of renowned comic book writer Geoff Johns being homogenized by Greg Berlanti, Michael Green, Marc Guggenheim and Michael Goldenberg (who is the only of the four to not receive a "story by" credit). Together, they've done their damndest to make the character and his evil-smashing "constructs" accessible to people who only vaguely remember him from the Hanna-Barbera SUPER FRIENDS cartoon*.

That's one of the major problems in developing a big-screen GREEN LANTERN: while the expansive universe of the Green Lantern corps is rich with storytelling possibilities, the studio must first establish an earthbound iteration - which means making a human superhero whose power is derived from an antiquated source of illumination look cool. And so the committee of filmmakers have written test pilot Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) as TOP GUN's Maverick; he's a brash, bratty rule-breaker who gets away with it all because he's handsomer and flat-out better than the rest. Though his quips are run-of-the-mill TV (unsurprising since the screenwriters, save for Goldenberg, have made a career churning out attitude-over-wit pap for the small screen), Reynolds, who's carried creakier material in the past, holds the screen like a movie star should. His Hal is cocksure, not smarmy; at heart, he's a noble guy who's just waiting for the proper call to adventure, at which point he'll become the hero he was always meant to be.

But Reynolds's charm isn't enough to offset a number of baffling storytelling flaws in the early going. Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard) is set up as a tragic bad guy, a brilliant, discovery-obsessed scientist who's nursed a longtime crush on Blake Lively's Carol Ferris (a perfectly fine Blake Lively). Sarsgaard gets across the unloved sadness of the character (he's also never earned the approval of his powerful Senator father, played by the distractingly-too-close-in-age Tim Robbins), but he's already on the road to huge-headed villainy before the writers clue us in to his past with Ferris and Jordan - which renders ineffective the subsequent cross-cutting of Hal and Hector contending with their puzzling (and painful) new powers. This is especially frustrating because the film's first really good scene is the big showdown between the two transformed men; that it works at all is a testament to Reynolds and Sarsgaard committed performances.

Unfortunately, the intergalactic stuff is bungled, too. As was the case with THOR's Asgard, Oa looks like a video game environment; while Grant Major's production design is spot-on, the actors never feel like they're inhabiting a far-off world (also, Reynolds's CG mask never feels like it's a part of his face). Hal's interactions with Tomar-Re and Kilowog are believable enough, but their combat-training bond sessions are rushed; when the characters turn up at a crucial moment later in the movie, there's nothing being paid off (actually, their obligatory, late-to-the-party assistance makes it appear as if they sat back like a bunch of lazy assholes and let Hal take on Parallax by himself). And while Mark Strong conveys the conflicted nature of Sinestro, his turn during the end credits is curiously unmotivated (and, therefore, the worst kind of fan service). There's an actual event that would've easily explained this, but it was cut from the film (most likely because it fouled up the pacing).

GREEN LANTERN's screenplay was already shaky enough, but WB did itself no favors when it hired practical-action specialist Martin Campbell to direct. Campbell is one of the most capable big-movie hired hands out there, but he's never done a green-screen heavy fantasy like this. As a result, GREEN LANTERN feels soundstage-bound; save for the climactic brawl with Parallax, it's cramped and artificial when it needs to soar. It's not that Campbell can't do giddy, gallivanting adventure (his THE MASK OF ZORRO is a terrific modern-day serial); it's just obvious that he'd rather be on location. (In a perfect world, he would've inherited the Aubrey-Maturin series from Peter Weir.)

Bad as the film gets (and it threatens to collapse in an unintentionally hilarious heap during the "Science Building" scene), it springs to life when Parallax descends on Earth. The moment a seemingly defeated Hal digs deep to deliver the Green Lantern oath is more triumphant and inspiring than anything in THOR - which isn't saying much, but, then again, these movies aren't exactly trying that hard. It would be nice to see WB let Johns write the first draft of GREEN LANTERN 2 before bringing in the hacks; they'd also do well to hire a filmmaker with a lighter, more fanciful touch. As with THOR, the elements are in place for a satisfying superhero movie. More love, less calculation. That ought to do it.

Faithfully submitted,

Mr. Beaks


P.S. I saw this in 2D because I get nothing from the 3D experience. For those eager to spend more for pop-up-book cinema, I'm told the 3D is much better than THOR's.

*Where have you gone, Apache Chief?
Readers Talkback
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  • June 15, 2011, 2:49 p.m. CST

    can't believe Harry actually compared this movie to Star Wars

    by Titus05

  • Save us, Cap!

  • June 15, 2011, 2:53 p.m. CST


    by corporategohan616

    Why wont WB put money behind the franchise like they did with Bats? Its got potential for so much...

  • June 15, 2011, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Marc Guggenheim = one of the worst writers in entertainment

    by Laserhead

    Be it comics, movies or TV, his material ALWAYS FAILS. But he keeps failing into new jobs.

  • June 15, 2011, 2:53 p.m. CST

    for a cool superhero film, check out HERO TOMORROW on DVD

    by Daniel_S_Duvall

  • June 15, 2011, 2:54 p.m. CST


    by corporategohan616

    Didn't he script "No Ordinary Family"?

  • June 15, 2011, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Done RIGHT, it could be comparable to star wars

    by Superponte

    but that's never gonna happen.

  • June 15, 2011, 2:55 p.m. CST


    by BSB

    Anthony Weiner's is not doing it for me.

  • June 15, 2011, 2:56 p.m. CST

    It didnt

    by truenotes1

  • June 15, 2011, 2:57 p.m. CST

    I am so done with 3D

    by Simpsonian

    and what sucks is IMAX will probably only show the Hobbit in 3D and not 2D...

  • June 15, 2011, 2:58 p.m. CST

    It didnt't look good in the trailers

    by truenotes1

    Way too cartoony for me. But still gonna go see it for myself.

  • June 15, 2011, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Wait..this guy hated Thor?

    by knowthyself

    Fuck that Thor rocked. If Lantern is as good as Thor than bring it on.

  • June 15, 2011, 3 p.m. CST

    He badmouthed Thor more than GL

    by truenotes1

  • June 15, 2011, 3 p.m. CST


    by jimmy_009

    I called it when this was first announced. Even if it was good it would have bombed. Being crappy and costing 300m is going to make it one of the biggest bombs of all time.

  • June 15, 2011, 3 p.m. CST

    Ryan Reynolds + CGI mess + crap script = Green Lantern

    by Arkhaminmate001

    Rotten Tomatos gave this crap a whooping 15%

  • June 15, 2011, 3 p.m. CST

    I thought Thor was great too.

    by eric haislar

    I mean i see the criticism with the second act but i didn't mind it.

  • June 15, 2011, 3 p.m. CST

    Pleasantly surprised by Thor, but didn't expect much

    by Simpsonian

    and what the fuck is wrong with Talkback???

  • June 15, 2011, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Is GREEN a color that has brought in big box office?

    by knowthyself

    The Mask did well. Any other big green movies anyone else can think of?

  • June 15, 2011, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Superman Reference?

    by who cares

    any superman references? or anything else DC related?

  • June 15, 2011, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Written by Greg Berlanti

    by Hercules

    creator of "No Ordinary Family."

  • June 15, 2011, 3:02 p.m. CST

    It seems Martin Campbell is no Kenneth Branagh


    Never thought i'd ever make a statement like that.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:02 p.m. CST

    I'll always continue saying...

    by truenotes1

    Make mine MARVEL!!!

  • June 15, 2011, 3:03 p.m. CST

    This is why SUPERMAX must be made!

    by Rob

    A great way to reinvent part 1 of a superhero. Green Arrow goes to superhero/villain prison. Sucks that the studio canned it.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:03 p.m. CST

    lol me too writeforedit

    by MRJONZ72

  • June 15, 2011, 3:04 p.m. CST



    Well, you never were one for Kosher meat.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Better than Thor??

    by 2soon2eat

    Hahaha, I this this guy beclowned himself, if he finds more to bitch about on Thor than this 15% rating movie.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:06 p.m. CST


    by BSB

    You know me too well.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Of course you wil teh suk

    by NightArrows

    Someone has to make it's bank.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:07 p.m. CST


    by BSB

  • June 15, 2011, 3:07 p.m. CST

    THOR was terrific

    by David Ortiz

    With all the bad reviews I'm hearing, I can't believe GL is better than THOR. I hope I'm wrong because I'm a DC guy, but Mr. Beaks is probably off base with the comparison. Asgard looked fantastic, I can't imagine how they could've made it anymore realistic.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:09 p.m. CST

    The writing has been on the wall for this one since the first trailer

    by Professor_Monster

    You really think we'd get a good Green Lantern movie ?? Green Lantern shouldn't have been a follower movie - like everything that came after Batman in 89 - they should have waited for all of these shit comic movies to end and then when people least expect it - release the billboards with the GL symbol on it.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:10 p.m. CST

    :) Nice Thor review Beaks, so what did you think of the GL movie?

    by Carl XVI Gustaf

    Wow, that was strange. Is this a DC fan being really upset that Thor was a better movie or what?

  • June 15, 2011, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Multiple post much?

    by Somerichs

    Jesus H Christ on a popsicle stick, fix that shit!

  • June 15, 2011, 3:11 p.m. CST

    What's GREEN LANTERN tracking at?


  • June 15, 2011, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Shitty review

    by NightArrows

    From a PMSing idiot who didn't get his say on THOR. Jesus Christ that was fucked.

  • It's not that they didn't put money into it, it's that they just had no idea what to do with it. As a result, forget any other superhero from DC making a leap to the big screen. It'll be Batman, Batman, Batman from here til the end of times... and maybe some Superman, depending on legal issues and how good or bad Snyder's movie end up.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:12 p.m. CST

    Holy shit. That's a lot of THOR hate for a GREEN LANTERN review.


  • June 15, 2011, 3:16 p.m. CST

    oh what a shame

    by D o o d

    I was looking forward to this. I'll save my coppers for another!

  • June 15, 2011, 3:16 p.m. CST

    I've read GL cost ... 300 million??

    by justmyluck I've watched the GL clips and trailers, and I appreciate the scope the movie was trying to achieve, but the whole show looks so frikking fake I can't engage.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:19 p.m. CST


    by BSB

  • June 15, 2011, 3:20 p.m. CST

    So the script was worse than First Class?

    by sunwukong86

    First Class got tons of praise, but come on, the script was stupid. Sebastian Shaw could have been a character they made up for the film, and the Cuban Missile Crisis sub plot was nonsense.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:21 p.m. CST


    by BSB

  • June 15, 2011, 3:23 p.m. CST


    by blackwood

    Ouch. I had become cautiously optimisitic. I'll catch in on cable sometime.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Tracking at around 60 mil.

    by AzulTool

  • June 15, 2011, 3:24 p.m. CST

    Can it really be worse than Thor?

    by DonRivella

    Of course it can, although the bar really isn't that high. From the trailer it looks like they tried to make the movie too big in scope, sometimes (more often than not) less is more. Hope this post also appears in multiple copies...

  • June 15, 2011, 3:24 p.m. CST


    by BSB

    I like the sound of that. *Boner*

  • June 15, 2011, 3:25 p.m. CST

    I feel like sexy has somehow been brought back.

    by blackwood

    GL sucks lol.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:25 p.m. CST


    by BSB

  • June 15, 2011, 3:28 p.m. CST

    stating the obvious


    i'd like to know what was cut from the flick to make sinestro's 'turn' more understandable. as it is, what schmuck watching this movie isn't going to expect a guy named SINESTRO to become 'sinister' at some point? not to mention- on the poster, he's the only one using his left hand with the ring, everyone else is using their right.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:29 p.m. CST


    by Astronut

    This movie sucks. That, at least to the review above and the overwhelming majority at Rotten Tomatoes. I called this immediately following the first released footage. Poor CG rendered fakery. Much shitiness. I will still check it out to judge for myself but let's be honest here, the mountain of thumbs-down reviews are a likely indicator of this movie's true shittiness.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:30 p.m. CST

    $60 million, huh?


    Really could go any way. If enough kids want to see it, it could clear $65 million, easy. Still ... regardless of the opening weekend, it'll probably take a HUGE dive the following weekend.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:30 p.m. CST


    by golden tribw

    LOL at all the morons who "knew" it was going to kick ass.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:31 p.m. CST

    This is going to bomb

    by double_l88

    It looks ridiculous. As a fan of DC, thats not a good thing, but they clearly did this all wrong.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:31 p.m. CST


    by Wcwlkr

    Marvel continues to Kill DC. X-Men First Class washed the horrid taste that was X3 and Wolverine from my mouth. I really enjoyed Thor it was way better than I thought and I can't wait to see Captain America.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:32 p.m. CST


    by BSB

  • June 15, 2011, 3:32 p.m. CST

    WOW 2 Pac killer confesses

    by eric haislar

  • June 15, 2011, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Not Surprised

    by Wcwlkr

    I try not to judge too harshly from trailers, but I could never get past how garbage this looked from the trailers. It just looked like a bad movie. So this review doesn't surprise me in the slightest.

  • AICN are so gullible. Every single one of you were beating off to the awful trailers.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:37 p.m. CST

    harry's comparison to Star Wars


    if anyone had ANY faith in that statement, you deserve everything you get. he even stated it had a lot more of the space stuff than we had been shown every review from any other source says, nope- that's about it... not to mention nothing should ever be compared to star wars. not that star wars is the holiest of holies, but it was truly original at the time. to compare anything to star wars already does the movie in question a disservice of instantly not being original and instantly being held against another flick- ruining it as to never stand on its own merit. i hope one day a movie will stun us and actually have the cultural impact star wars had, but it will not be a movie that is compared to star wars by early fanboy site owners who get free swag.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:40 p.m. CST

    But Beaks thought Bring it on was better then The dark knight

    by RedBull_Werewolf

    Not sure how much faith i put into his reviews

  • June 15, 2011, 3:40 p.m. CST


    by BSB

    It reads "Green Lantern Charging Station"

  • June 15, 2011, 3:40 p.m. CST

    But Beaks thought Bring it on was better then The dark knight

    by RedBull_Werewolf

    Not sure how much faith i put into his reviews

  • June 15, 2011, 3:42 p.m. CST

    The Gay Lantern, The Green Faggot

    by AzulTool

  • June 15, 2011, 3:44 p.m. CST


    by BSB

    Tap this ass It's virgin tight

  • June 15, 2011, 3:45 p.m. CST


    by D Jones

    Saw it ,liked it was a good comic book movie. People have to realize its comics not Thoreau the storytelling is for comic fans its not going to change lives.

  • They become blockbusters ...

  • June 15, 2011, 3:49 p.m. CST

    Read's as though you're angry...

    by Zappatude

    ...with someone involved with the movie on a personal level. Not really much of a review for a comic-book movie....which is basically for kids. I'm sure my 8yo son will enjoy it, and based on that, so will I. Also, this movie was obviously meant to be seen in 3D. Why on Earth would you watch something in black-and-white that was shot in color? People (and their hangups) are weird.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:50 p.m. CST


    by BSB

    In hopes that the Hal Jordan body scanning scene won't be censored.

  • Seriously, if you think a movie *intended for 3D* is truly impossible to enjoy in 2D you're a fucking idiot.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:52 p.m. CST

    If anything, we should hope for a FLASH GORDON-style bomb.


    With more kitsch than the JOHN CARTER poster.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:54 p.m. CST


    by BSB

    Let them see it Mori!

  • June 15, 2011, 3:55 p.m. CST

    I hope this is successful just so we'll get out Deadpool movie

    by DOGSOUP

  • And I was right. It blows. Eat it bitches.

  • June 15, 2011, 3:59 p.m. CST

    This is going to be so bad that Ryan Reynolds will


    beg his agent to fast-track a reboot of "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place."

  • June 15, 2011, 3:59 p.m. CST


    by Fritzlorrerains

    And you mindless drones said I was wrong. Lolz.

  • June 15, 2011, 4 p.m. CST

    You lost me at ripping Thor

    by PeopleCallMeTheBriMan

    I stopped reading once I got to that. I have to admit GL looks like Fantastic Four all over again, but Thor was friggin' awesome. So far I rank the genre tent poles of '11 as follows: 1) Thor 2) X-men: First Class 3) Fast Five 4) Super 8 Note: I have not seen Pirates of the Caribbean part 15. I have some semblance of pride.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:01 p.m. CST

    what did beaks think about X-men 1st Class?

    by Phategod2

  • June 15, 2011, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Now PART of me wANTS to see it just to know HOW BAD it really is

    by Fritzlorrerains

    I KNOW, RIGHT?!!!!

  • June 15, 2011, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Bibleman, you don't read this review

    by Zappatude

    as though it were written by a grumpy old man? who has a beef with someone involved in the making of this movie? Personally, I think movies should viewed without any knowledge of who wrote what (ideally, not realistically), because, frankly, who cares what someone had to do to pay the bills's about what's on the screen now. And as far as comic-book movie comment goes, what's wrong with comic-book movies? Is Blake Lively naked in this? Is she somehow portrayed in a manner that wouldn't be fitting for a kid to witness? I hope not, as my son is really excited to see this. I don't understand where you're coming from, unless it's the school of thought that says all art must be high-brow...which is one of the most boring ideas ever.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST

    US tank, worldwide bank...

    by Somerichs

    Regardless of how this does in the Us, It's gonna go nuts overseas, and so shall we be assured of a sequel in a few years.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST

    The real reason Beaks didn't like this:


    You know ....

  • June 15, 2011, 4:02 p.m. CST


    by codecrackx15

    I called it shit and kept calling it shit from day fucking 1. Along comes a trailer with all the space parts and the dumb ass fanboys lick it up. HAHAHA!!!!!!

  • June 15, 2011, 4:03 p.m. CST

    You lost me at ripping Thor

    by PeopleCallMeTheBriMan

    I stopped reading once I got to that. I have to admit GL looks like Fantastic Four all over again, but Thor was friggin' awesome. So far I rank the genre tent poles of '11 as follows: 1) Thor 2) X-men: First Class 3) Fast Five 4) Super 8 Note: I have not seen Pirates of the Caribbean part 15. I have some semblance of pride.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Thor was pretty good, so I'm doubtful of this review.

    by reflecto


  • June 15, 2011, 4:06 p.m. CST

    beg to differ, zastros

    by eloy

    but then again, I like Bring It On way better than The Dark Knight (not as much as Batman Begins, though). I think a movie (and comic-book movies in the past have proved this to be true),regardless of its source material, when it's good it really aims to change lives, and the storytelling is for just about anybody who wants to jump on the train. I think Spiderman 2, Incredible Hulk and The Mask are astonishing flicks just as I also feel Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice and The Bridges of Madison County are great in the extreme, even though I've never read a word written by Jane Austen. I hope the movie rocks.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:09 p.m. CST

    It's like we're in the wormhole scene from Star Trek:TMP

    by DrPepperPHD

  • June 15, 2011, 4:10 p.m. CST



    i guess he meant that, like some prints of Star Wars, it is meant to play in SCOPE, not FLAT. or maybe it was like watching Star Wars while drunk on Scope, the mouthwash.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:11 p.m. CST

    Choppah will not tolerate your Martin Campbell bashing Beaks!


    The man single handedly resurrected the Bond franchise TWICE!! He also is the only man i know that can film a dildo kissing scene with such emotional resonance and gravitas. CHOPPED.

  • I'm tellin' ya.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:13 p.m. CST


    by eloy

    I'm kinda with you in your appreciation of the summer season so far, although I'd have to go 1.- X Men, 2.- Thor, 3.- Fast and Furious (this last one really waaaaaay more fun than I'd ever dared to hope for, although I really, really wasn't prepared for how much First Class rocked). Quite good summer so far.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:13 p.m. CST

    goldentribe: no more impossible

    by Zappatude

    ..than enjoying a movie in black-and-white that was shot in color. Which is to say: Not impossible in the least. However, the movie was intended to be seen in 3D. That means the shot composition, effects, et al were set up with 3D in mind. Translation for the ignorant: How can you review any product (of any kind) without viewing the product in the light it was meant to be presented? This review is bizarre in that it's obvious that the author had no interest in this movie before he ever sat down to view it. Also, by trying to watch it with his 'Citizen Kane' glasses, rather than the more appropriate 'Super Hero Movie' glasses. Seriously....dude didn't enjoy Thor? It was a movie about THOR.

  • Does Blake Lively know about this? Blake Lively Blake Lively?

  • June 15, 2011, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Blake Lively


    I know you Blake. I've seen your recent work. I like it. I Know Natalie Portman. She just had my son. (Mazel Tov!) You Blake, are no Natalie Portman.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:15 p.m. CST

    SPOILER: McWeeny reporting ...


    ... that Liam Neeson filmed a scene for THE DARK KNIGHT RISES on Monday.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:17 p.m. CST



    I hope you aren't denigrating VERTICAL LIMIT. That film rocks for the opening alone. Scott Glenn and his nubby feet. PLus I think this was the turning point for Paxton..where he whole heartedly turned into a D-Bag

  • June 15, 2011, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Written by Herc

    by Jay_Lenos_Ugly_Wife

    Creator of headlines with liberal use of exclamation marks.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:19 p.m. CST

    i'm waiting for a Tyler Perry superhero movie.


    The hero will be strugglin' with his marriage to a hot woman whom the flame has grown cold while there is a new hot woman flirting with him at work and he'll have a crazy grandma and a rambunctious family. he'll try to keep the faith and be a good father to his current children and the children from a previous marriage. he'll help a sibling overcome drugs. there will also be financial struggle, a marriage, and a funeral. all the while he has to save the Erf.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:19 p.m. CST

    as a 1/32 black man

    by darth_ghidorah85

    i find this film presents the greater "white fantasy". we all want a white hero, but in reality us blacks are the best at everything. we all know john stewart was the best GL. that's why they couldn't get this movie right. you can't make hal jordan interesting. it doesn't work in the comics, and it won't work here. that's why the justice league show was the greatest, because they realized the importance of john stewart over hal jordan. now watch all of the racists come flying out about how i'm racist when i'm just stating the facts that can't be matched intellectually by any whitie. alright, i'm done posting, as i have 2 college degrees and in the '80's, i had 2, count 'em, 2 cockerspaniels. i am now going to work on a movie set, making more than any of you white, basement-dwelling scum.

  • Seriously, up your game, man...

  • June 15, 2011, 4:21 p.m. CST

    lost me at ripping Thor too

    by chargester

    I agree with several people above. If it's as good as Thor then FUCK yes! So I don't understand this review.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:22 p.m. CST



    Choppah is above this petty nonsense--true. I may not spoil films for this summer but I'm giving you fair warning about next summer. Choppah is also a man of the people. He like to get his hands dirty and walk among his minions. Rant like them. Bitch like them. Double post like them.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:22 p.m. CST

    darth_ghidorah85 = johnathankana

    by Somerichs

    Check the rocky pic of the day TB. Rabble-rouser!

  • June 15, 2011, 4:24 p.m. CST

    i can understand why the mask doesn't fit him onscreen


    even with current tech it's hard to mocap something cg on an actors face and have it look flawless. but even in posters and stills it looks like a sticker put on as an afterthought. and i don't buy the 'it will appear when your identity needs to be hidden' crap. none of the other creatures have masks on around him.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Well I loved Thor, so I bet that this will be great also.

    by room23storeblogspotcom

  • June 15, 2011, 4:28 p.m. CST



    Did Thor violate you with Mjǫlnir or what?

  • June 15, 2011, 4:28 p.m. CST

    I really enjoyed "Thor" too, and thought Asgard was well visualized as well,

    by The Reluctant Austinite

    but what do I know, I'm just an actual paying customer and not a mighty Internet blogger?

  • June 15, 2011, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Given That This Is Beaks, I'm Still Holding Out Hope


    If the rest of AICN concurs, then I'll get worried.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:31 p.m. CST



    the christmas special

  • June 15, 2011, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Save us Cap! Indeed...cause this summer is sucking so far

    by skycrapper

    Haven't seen X-men yet. But will when I get around to it.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:33 p.m. CST

    Well at least it wasn't directed by Tim Story...

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    now when is Captain America coming out??

  • June 15, 2011, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Bibleman re: high-brow

    by Zappatude

    The problem for me is that Star Wars (the original...'A New Hope') doesn't hold up under high-brow scrutiny. Yet I LOVE that movie. I saw it when I was 7 years old and no movie to this day has had the same lasting effect. But, if I had first seen it today and applied the high-brow scrutiny test, it would be a pretty crappy movie. My main problem with the GL review is that Beaks didn't want to like it going in...clearly. Also, his unreasonable dislike for 3D (which I love when properly executed like with 'Avatar' or 'Despicable Me') is strange to me. It wreaks of Status Quo-ism... Who knows, maybe I'll dislike GL. But, I'm not letting such a 'Get off of my lawn!' review keep me from giving it a try. I'm rather looking forward to it. And to further rock the boat: I think Reynolds is funny.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:37 p.m. CST

    THOR was fine but this has looked like laughable shit since day one.

    by golden tribw

    And THOR could have been better. Some illiterate retard is now going to accuse me of being pedantic and impossible to please, but I'm not bitching for bitching's sake, I'm stating empirical fact. The movie could have been better. Front-loading the entirety of the action was a big mistake, it's confusing what happened to Loki in the end and what manner of connection he had with Sarsgaard's scientist character, and it seemed silly to me that the Bifrost Bridge itself became a weapon. All that said, Hemsworth was great, as was Hiddleston -- a nice surprise to have the two main characters better than expected -- and the supporting cast (Idris Elba, Colm Feore, etc.) was impeccable. I just had an expectation of more high drama and better dialogue with a veteran thespian such as Branagh behind the camera (not to mention Anthony Hopkins and Natalie Portman in front of it).

  • June 15, 2011, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Well at least it wasn't directed by Tim Story...

    by openthepodbaydoorshal

    now when is Captain America coming out??

  • June 15, 2011, 4:39 p.m. CST

    REBOOT! I'm already calling it, before this film is released.

    by Tristan

    Get Nolan involved as producer and hire an indie director, who has yet to make a big budget film. Get Nathan Fillion to be Hal Jordan.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Terrible fucking review.

    by V'Shael

    "who's nursed a longtime crush on Blake Lively's Carol Ferris (a perfectly fine Blake Lively)." Really??? Mr Beaks review (written by Mr. Beaks) seems to have a problem with redundency. I hope he can understand sarcasm, when I say Well fucking done, sir.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:42 p.m. CST

    Damn It!

    by NeonFrisbee

    I had a feeling they were going to royally fuck this up. Oh well. At least we still have the comics. Sigh.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Well that's weird... if slightly ironic.

    by V'Shael

    I didn't post that 3 times... but I guess the 2nd and 3rd are equally redundant.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:48 p.m. CST

    Save us, Cap!

    by HansBubi

    This sounds like the newest version of "In Nolan We Trust."

  • June 15, 2011, 4:48 p.m. CST

    Blake Lively needs to atone for this by sitting on my face!

    by DrPepperPHD

    Cause I'm sure that's the kind of thing she loves to do :D

  • June 15, 2011, 4:51 p.m. CST

    It Must Be Written: Mr. Beaks is the Curmudgeonly Contrarian of AICN

    by AssyMuffJizz

    I'll bet he makes for an awful date too. Probably doesn't believe in french kissing or giving head... Anyone who hated THOR that much needs to check into an old folk's home stat.

  • Said it weeks ago. Unsurprised now.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Thor is a MUCH better film than First Class

    by IndustryKiller!

    First CLass is terribly directed and written, wastes almost all of its characters and devolves into a Sci Fi channel movie by the end. I can't believe people think that speech at the end by Magneto is good, it's easily the worst acting of Michael Fassbenders otherwise wonderful career.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:55 p.m. CST


    by AssyMuffJizz

    See ya later, friendo.

  • June 15, 2011, 4:59 p.m. CST

    Mr. Beaks - Southpark

    by cikas47

    I cannot help but to think of the southpark episode You're Getting Old. Someone has a case of Being a Cynical Asshole Syndrome.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Martin's Justice League WOULD HAVE SUCKED!

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    What never was is better that way.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:06 p.m. CST

    What's with the double posting all over the place?

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • June 15, 2011, 5:06 p.m. CST


    by thelordofhell

    Oh yeah, and Green Lantern sucks

  • But I didn't, and I still don't, because I haven't seen it for myself. I love all the fucking hypocrites who rage on believing a review - but by heck, if it criticizes something they like, then they'll start a campaign of vengeance themselves. I'm sad that its supposed to be so bad - I may go and see it, but I may go and pick up the new animated adventures with the ticket money instead. Oh, and just for the money - EVERYTHING ELSE IS GOING TO BE CRAP FOR THE REST OF THE FUCKING YEAR!! OOOOOHHHHHH FUCKING YES, I KNOW IT'LL BE BECAUSE I CAN SEE THAT FAR FUCKING AHEAD!!

  • June 15, 2011, 5:09 p.m. CST

    Ryan Reynolds.......Superhero Killer

    by thelordofhell

    Takes a lot to fuck both DC and Marvel heroes and not hold on to Scarlett Johansson. Good job Ryan.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:16 p.m. CST

    THOR was great!

    by DeckardB26354

    THOR was great and much better than X-Men: Rise Of The Annoying Teenagers. The only thing good about X-Men was Fassbender as Magneto, when it concentrated on "the First Class", it sucked.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:17 p.m. CST

    The movie cost 150 million

    by funkylovemonkey

    The 300 million number is from a New York Time's article estimating how much the movie cost in total terms including marketing. It probably is useful to talk about marketing cost, but when the number of how much a movie cost is thrown around it's usually the Production Budget of the movie. If the numbers aren't correlated correctly then it's hard to compare movies. For instance with that 300 million number quoted most people would think that the movie cost more then Avatar's 237 million production budget. They would be incorrect, because if you include marketing and everything else on top of the production budget, then Avatar cost 460 million. However the 237 million price tag is the one that is most frequently spoken of, and in that context the Green Lantern cost quite a bit less at a production budget of 150 million.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:19 p.m. CST

    THOR wasn't an origin or a hero's journey

    by kevred

    It was about the humbling and redemption of an alien god-like being. The "origin" aspect of the story contains all the threads which make up the motives of the antagonists, the devices used by said antagonists, and the essential need for the protagonist to redeem himself. Hardly treading water. As for a possible lack of "triumphant" qualities about the film, that's pretty faithful to the source material. Apart from the often-obligatory award ceremony/speech by Odin at the end of some of the epic stories, the rah-rah stuff isn't so much a part of THOR. And again, this isn't Rocky, it's the story of a superhuman god-like being. I respect Branagh for not over-selling him as a relatable underdog, and keeping most of his attention focused above the heads of all the humans milling about.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:26 p.m. CST


    by Everette Hartsoe

    'nuff said

  • June 15, 2011, 5:28 p.m. CST

    THOR does not exist in this dojo

    by Cobra--Kai

    Yeah here I am, poor little Beaks, reviewing green lantern for my master, like Dobby the house elf... When What I Really Want To Be Doing... IS REVIEWING THOR!!!!!

  • I was surprised, shocked even, at how good it was and how much I loved it. I think it's *easily* the best XMen movie of them all. X2 would be in second place. Thor was good, I liked it, but it didn't blow me away. It was a good intro to the character and a fun movie, but nothing *great*. I'd put it about on par with the first Iron Man. I'm really bummed that this Green Lantern turned out to be a steaming pile. I hated the idea of Ryan Reynolds from the outset, but the trailer and footage tricked me into thinking it was cool. Oh well. Looks like Justice League is NEVER going to happen. Thass cool, though, the JLU animated series is still the best superhero cartoon EVAR. Plus, we still have the comic books.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:32 p.m. CST

    THOR was fine. I'm not sure what you were expecting, Beaks.

    by blakindigo

    I have know idea about Green Lantern, but if you're pejoratively comparing it to THOR, then I'm not sure I follow you.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Sorry Beaks - WRONGWRONGWRONG (about Thor...and probably GL too!)

    by marineboy

    Thor was good fun well made. Expectations were low, so it was a pleasant surprise that exceeded box-office predictions. However, there's been more hype for GL, so I can understand some disappointment if it dosen't fullfil the "Star Wars" potential we're all looking for, but frankly nothing will cos that was a one off. I'll watch GL, and I bet it'll tick enough boxes for me to want to see it again :)

  • June 15, 2011, 5:40 p.m. CST

    GL: 2011 Techno-Salvage...

    by zinc_chameleon

    for those of you on this site who aren't techno-literate (and your number seems to be growing), it is wise to remember that this week DC went to *primarily* digital delivery of their comics, all of which rebooted. This means that every last data file, physical costume, deleted scene is grist for the techno-mill. Reynolds and Lively and Strong have been scanned digitally--and paid well for it--because the future is converge. Film = Game = Comic = TV show. Lucas is waiting in the wings to step out and do the same. That's why he won't do a live Star Wars for 3 to 5 years, when this is all sorted out.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Can we bring this site into the 21st Century please?

    by marineboy

    Posting method is seriously lame, plus we need full forums :)

  • June 15, 2011, 5:45 p.m. CST

    Ryan Reynolds is wrong for the role

    by daggor

    We don't need a "cocksure" GL. Hal Jordan needs to be mature, but still with the sense of wonder to set him apart from other superhero-types.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:56 p.m. CST

    WTF does "attitude-over-wit pap for the small screen" mean?

    by beane2099

    I guess I don't travel with the witty set. Anyways, I've had my reservations over this film for a while, but I'll be damned if THIS review determines anything for me. The parts of Thor he mentions "not working" were my favorite parts. Asgard totally worked for me and apparently a lot of other folk too. So if this is being likened to Thor then there's a chance I might enjoy it. I'll also throw in with the lot who say Thor was NOT an origin story. It wasn't. This was not Thor: Begins. Thor was more of an introduction than an origin. But whatever.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:58 p.m. CST

    The thing i hate about green lantern...

    by Norman Colson

    It's just too much damn cgi. instead of animating all this shit, just have the real life people play these characters i can see michael clarke duncan playing kilowogg, shit nightcrawler was the shit in xmen 2. they can pull it off... and all these screenwriters... i swear they do fuck a movie up, it's not all the directors fault, they can ruin a movie too... Warner/DC can just simplify things. ine or two screenwriters, have a talented director who knows the history and source material and a kick ass music producer who loves to do the music. How hard is it to do... I can write a kick ass GL movie and have it appeal to EVERYONE because if you dont appeal to the fanbase who buys the comics to begin with your gonna get hurt first! They are your most feverent supporters!!! That's why sony kicked david o russell off uncharted he took too many liberties with the fucking uncharted story and started changing it...

  • GL is being raked over the critical coals. Just deal with it. Don't try to pretend that it somehow is keeping company with Thor. Thor was fun, and well received by critics.

  • June 15, 2011, 5:59 p.m. CST


    by codecrackx15

    I called it shit from day fucking 1!!!! Along comes a shitty cgi trailer with all the space stuff and the dumb ass fanboys lick it up!!!! HAHAHA!!!!! Cap America is the next shitter... but go give them the money to keep the toilet bowl of Hollywood nice and brown!!

  • June 15, 2011, 6:02 p.m. CST

    I was underwhelmed by the trailers...

    by D_T

    ...this (and the RT reviews) just punctuate what I already assumed. Bummer, could have been a fun new franchise, and something a bit different (with the GL Corp and more "cosmic" story potential). Side note: what the fuck does it take to engineer a simply, non-editing, message posting system that works consistently. I've got massive, high transaction volume systems running that are more complex and have way less issues. Going to see X-Men: First Class on Friday, hope it actually holds up to the positive reviews and the trailers (that I thought looked outstanding)!

  • They wrecked Emma Frost. Diamond form already? And what happened to her clothes when she changed? The went diamond form too? What? And don't get me started on the American CIA agent Moira. I thought Thor was great and Asgard looked awesome. Can't wait to see Green Lantern. Might be disappointed, but we'll see.

  • June 15, 2011, 6:17 p.m. CST

    Whats with the Thor hate? DC fanboy?

    by Saen

    I have yet to meet someone who went and saw Thor and didn't think it was well worth their money.

  • June 15, 2011, 6:19 p.m. CST

    If Green Lantern rubbed one out with sandpaper...

    by Turd_Has_Risen_From_The_Gravy

    while watching violent porn, then Beaks would have given it a rave! This film looked ridiculous from the start. Another Fantastic Four-style day-glo cheese-fest with cartoonish CGI and laughable alien designs. The truth is that the general public don't really care about any supeheroes not named Batman, Superman or Spider-Man. Only fanboys care about these second-raters. I like a good superhero movie as much as the next man, but enough is enough. Seems like that's the only kind of summer blockbuster playing at theaters nowadays.

  • June 15, 2011, 6:22 p.m. CST


    by CreepyThinMan

    I've never read a Green Lantern comic in my life but I know of the character and the basics of his Universe. I thought they made a critical error by hiring Ryan Reynold's because he's a complete douchebag and the only reason they hired him over, say, Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, or some other prettyboy, is that the morons at Warner Brothers said "hey, we need someone who can crack annoying jokes every nanosecond" which is why they hired the poor mans Jason Lee despite the fact that he's dragged down everything he's ever been in not to mention that the comic book movies that he's already been in were all flaming bags of dogshit (Blade Trinity and Wolverine). There's nothing wrong with moments of levity but I can't stand that sort of wisecracking and Reynold's is intolerable in that regard. Now, the first trailer was a DISASTER as it looked like another sequel to The Mask. However, trailer two (the comic con one) blew my ass off and made me a convert. Yes, Reynold's still comes off like a dickhead but the epic scope got me really excited as it seemed like they embraced the cosmic sci-fi elements of the material and I like that sort of thing, you know, weird aliens, planets and whatnot. The third trailer, the one about the Lantern Corps, was great as it really delved into the mythology and I loved that. But then I started seeing the clips and it made me worry. Everything Reynold's does is filled with wisecracking ironic detachment which gets on my fucking nerves. Blake Lively can't act for s#it. Parallax looks problematic as a giant cloud doesn't have any real definition as it is amorphous thus difficult to establish what it can or can NOT do and, most importantly, how it can be defeated. Then there is the basic problem of Hal Jordan being a test pilot who has to "overcome fear", despite making a living flying experimental airplanes that could crash or explode. This makes me think that he doesn't have a problem wit the whole "fear" thing which I've written about in detail in another thread. Hal Jordan should have been more in the mold of Luke Skywalker, an average guy who's life is changed when something literally drops out of the sky. He has to fight to survive, getting by on sheer determination and when things are at their darkest, he finds it within himself to overcome his fears and rise to the occasion. This is the reason why Star Wars has such a grip on the public's imagination as it speaks to the average person that no matter how small you think your life is, you can make a difference. Hal needed to be an underdog, not some hot shit test pilot. THOR took the same basic character, an arrogant warrior, and made it work because he was brought down by his own hubris and humbled when he realized what his actions had wrought upon those he loved. I don't see that sort of characterization in Green Lantern except for Hal losing his job by acting like a knob. But that's not enough as Thor was made to believe that his actions had killed his father and was banished from his home. Jordan has been written to be like Tom Cruise's character in Top Gun, a smirking *beep* who thinks he's all that, only to be taken down a peg by his own actions, only for him to save the day and have everyone realize how awesome he is at the end. They used the exact same model for the new Star Trek movie and I didn't like that either. A protagonist must define himself by using his brain and dealing with a situation using his intellect and feelings to find the right course of action. Top Gun has Cruise winning by just shooting and blowing s#it up. There's no characterization there just as there is none in Green Lantern. In the original comic, the idea behind Hal being a test pilot was that he ejects out of his plane and, by chance, stumbles upon Abin Sur who bestows the ring upon him. But in the movie he's just sitting around and Sur's escape pod lands near by because the ring "chose" him. So, having Hal as a test pilot is redundant and I also don't like that they've resorted the usual "chosen one" bulls#it that we've seen in virtually every film series. But Hal Jordan isn’t the underdog as he’s a test pilot who bangs hot women and seems to have everything in life. How am I supposed to identify with this character? How am I supposed to sympathize with him and want him to succeed. I'm just a working class slob in real life, so how can I cheer on some fuckface test pilot that gets top poon and has a flashy car?!? It's like giving Flash Thompson Spider-man's powers instead of Peter Parker. Hal Jordan is an alpha-male who, from what I've read of the movie, has the usual Daddy issues that Hollywood gives to every "hero" these days. He's not someone struggling to pay the rent and his bills and about the worst thing he could go through is not getting laid for a week. Then he becomes savior of the Earth. It's like "Hey man, see your AWESOME life, well, it's going to get just even more AWESOME now that you have superpowers". I'm not a comic book fan, I occasionally pick up a graphic novel from time-to-time, but this seems to be the overall problem with DC superhero's vs. Marvel. Superman, Batman, Green Lantern and Wonder Woman never have to worry about the little stuff that you, I and everyone else has to put up with on a daily basis. That's why I seems to identify with Marvel hero's more as they are given some real world problems in between battling evil super-villains. I really think they should have re-written the background of Hal Jordan for this movie. I know comic book nerds will scream about how that's the character but then those are the same morons who bitch that Wolverine isn't 5'2" and played by Joe Pesci. Anyone else feel the same way?

  • June 15, 2011, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Well, I actually liked "Thor"

    by Peter David

    So I still have hopes for GL. However I've been concerned by the trailers, because they see all over the place. Remember that in the comics they introduced Oa, the Guardians, and all the other GLs some time afterwards. My concern is that they might have tried to accomplish too much in one film. But I'll reserve judgment until I see it. PAD

  • June 15, 2011, 6:37 p.m. CST


    by CreepyThinMan,20741/

  • June 15, 2011, 6:37 p.m. CST

    Attention Harold Throckmorton Drumthwacket Baines Knowles IV:


    When can we expect YOUR GREEN LANTERN review?

  • June 15, 2011, 6:40 p.m. CST


    by Bobo_Vision

    ....I don't know shit about comics...but I don't think the everyman angle would have necessarily made this a better movie, nor is it the reason this movie supposedly sucks. Batman and Ironman both get top poon and neither is struggling to pay the bills...yet those two franchises are probably the best in recent years in terms of superheroes, even despite how much IM2 sucked. <p> And the everyman gaining powers is so overdone these days like with Spiderman and now Captain America....or the other lesser known super hero movies of late that cater to the geeks who wanna be heroes. I don't know if I can stomach much more of that. <p> There's got to be more to it as to why the film sucks so much......the trailer looked like a sequel to Men in Black.

  • June 15, 2011, 6:42 p.m. CST

    Dont be stupid first class was good...

    by Norman Colson

    Which surprised me because it wasnt following the comics... but i was seriously impressed. The movie was damn good... Viggo is a hater. lol.

  • June 15, 2011, 7:01 p.m. CST

    will kids like it?

    by john

    its my nephews bday and he wants me to take him to see it on sunday i dont care if i hate it...wasnt expecting to like it never liked the hal jordan character all that much

  • June 15, 2011, 7:01 p.m. CST

    Bizarre anti-Thor "origin story " movie

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    You fucking doofus as others have said it's not an origin story.

  • June 15, 2011, 7:03 p.m. CST

    And another thing ...

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Thor didn't come out "last May"

  • June 15, 2011, 7:05 p.m. CST

    Peter, you should be writing reviews here

    by oisin5199

    at least of the superhero properties. I'd love to see that!

  • June 15, 2011, 7:07 p.m. CST

    20% on RT

    by BlaGyver


  • June 15, 2011, 7:23 p.m. CST

    I'm starting to think real movie and comic fans don't come here

    by Andrew Coleman

    Seems like most of you guys are just bitter fucks who hate on everything. Also stop with these made up marketing numbers. You don't know what you're talking about. That tactic is used by losers who want to find something to hate on so just make up the numbers. It's pathetic.

  • ...just like every movie he reviews now.

  • June 15, 2011, 7:25 p.m. CST

    MY REVIEW (hated it!!)

    by MovieGeekBlog

    Director Campbell, never really seems to be in control of what's going on and instead he decides to cram the film with as much noise as possible hoping it might distract his audience from thinking that this is actually all a bit of a mess... He clearly feels uneasy with this universe and doesn't quite know what to make of it. The whole philosophical side is just ridiculous, the action scenes are too messy, the special effects underwhelming and the love story is so flat that it becomes redundant. The pace is completely off and for a film of this kind which last just under two hours, I found myself looking at my watch way too often. My FULL Review:

  • June 15, 2011, 7:26 p.m. CST

    I KNOW, RIGHT!?!?!?!

    by choonie

    I almost forgot

  • June 15, 2011, 7:27 p.m. CST


    by monkeynutpik

    Why is nobody talking about Russell Crowe being cast as Superman's pop??

  • So it's not like Green Lantern fans have nothing new to see this weekend.

  • June 15, 2011, 7:51 p.m. CST


    by CreepyThinMan

    Bruce Wayne is consumed with avenging the death of his parents and he has to pretend to live the playboy lifestyle as a part of his cover. Yeah, the guy is loaded, bangs top shelf beaver and probably enjoys that a bit but his quest to save Gotham is what drives him. Iron Man worked in the same way that Thor did in that Tony Stark was a self absorbed asshole until an event changed him that made him he reassess his life. But what exactly is the life changing event that transforms Hal Jordan? He gets fired from his job for fucking up? An alien gives him a magical ring? I just don’t see anything in the character that explains his motivation the way that, say, Spiderman does with Peter Parker doing what he does because of the guilt he feels for Uncle Ben’s death and how he could have stopped it. Green lantern doesn’t have that crux.

  • June 15, 2011, 7:57 p.m. CST

    Thor, First Class, Super 8 - all very good.

    by SmokingRobot

    It's been a good summer so far. WTF, I'll see GL in the theater next Monday.

  • June 15, 2011, 7:57 p.m. CST

    Thor was good. You have little credibility.

    by Mojo-Wan

    I don't doubt this sucked, but I can't trust your word based on using a Green Lantern Review to bash Thor.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:02 p.m. CST

    well if beaks dosent like it, it must be good

    by jsfithaca

    cant wait to see it!

  • June 15, 2011, 8:04 p.m. CST

    From someone who never read a Thor comic...

    by Kip Dynamite

    I enjoyed the movie a lot. Well, except the Kat Denning's character.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:04 p.m. CST

    Graduate high school...@viggo.

    by Norman Colson

    I was good enough for your moms.... im man enough... i said, it didnt follow the main sotryline but they took the source material and made it their own... I am a die hard marvel fan i know what the fuck im talking bout...

  • June 15, 2011, 8:07 p.m. CST

    Marvel is on a winning streak this summer

    by Kip Dynamite

    Thor, X-Men and hopefully Captain America.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:09 p.m. CST

    3 for 3 @kip

    by Norman Colson

    Could it happen???? What if it does, can you imagine? lol.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:11 p.m. CST

    Rotten Tomatoes: Thor, 77%; Green Lantern, 20%

    by Curious_Jorge

    Why the hatred for Thor? Thor wasn't a perfect movie, but it was pretty darn good.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:14 p.m. CST

    What's with all of the Thor bashing Beaks?

    by ganymede3010

    Sheezus man, you're starting to go AsimovLives over Thor.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:18 p.m. CST

    Green Lantern is about as corny as Superhero's get...

    by CeejayNightwing

    What were people expecting? Fine if you've been buying the comic as a fan for ages but to anyone but kids and you fans the whole thing is stupid! 1: His name is a double no-brainer. States the obvious with the GREEN part and then calls himself a LANTERN on top of that. Dumb name! 2: There's no skill to be admired in Green Lantern, just magic rings making green shapes like some wizards contest. No real science or anything, just green shapes and objects.. Aladin and the lamp level kids stuff! 2: the original Parallax in the comic was simply Hal Jordan who went megalomaniac in his desire to fix everything by himself. That in itself was one dramatic piece of storytelling that turned to crap once they brought him back from the dead and gave his costumed name a jumped up identity from the past that "possessed" him instead, just to make all the fanboys sleep with smiles knowing their Hal would never had gone bad.. Duhhhh!! Because of that we now have a yellow stupid blob cloud as Parallax resembling something as bad as that Galactus cloud in that shite Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer movie. 4: His costume looks like a Gay party joke, who in their right mind would wear that to a fight? Quite simply its a fanboys comic dream, not a concept decent enough for general audiences to ingratiate. A Kyle Rayner GL movie would have stood a better chance than this, no more blue Yoda high council, no Giant green Lantern shaped power source on alien planet HQ and no cheesy munch-bunch alien corps in silly green costumes.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:19 p.m. CST


    by TopHat

    For the love of God, bring them back! Use this article as an excuse; review the best superhero movie scripts you've ever read, whether they've been made into movies or not. Michael France's FANTASTIC FOUR first draft, etc. Most of us don't live/work in Hollywood, therefore have no way of reading these scripts. It would offer something to the "geek community" that other "geek" sites are not doing. You could make it a regular column: "Comic Book Adaptations", "Action spec scripts that should of been made", etc.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Color me disappointed... and worried for Superman

    by Citizin_insane

    How could you do this to me Green Lantern!? I was defending you all this time. "Martin Cample knows he's shit" I said "DC knows now how to make good films" I said FUCK YOU Green Lantern. I'm gonna have to get really high before I see you, just so I will like you no matter how dumb you are (it's my ex all over again)

  • June 15, 2011, 8:23 p.m. CST


    by CT1

  • June 15, 2011, 8:26 p.m. CST

    Rex Reed rips the hell out of GL

    by ReportAbuse

    "As summer garbage goes, The Green Lantern can’t go fast enough. Even in the brainless world of cinematic comic books gone bad, it’s as bad as it gets—a dumb, pointless, ugly, moronic and incomprehensible jumble of botched effects, technical blunders, and cluttered chaos. Oh yes. It is also—did I forget to mention?—boring." Ouch.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:28 p.m. CST

    ILM could of surpassed these effects for half the budget

    by ganymede3010

    Sony Imagework's is no ILM or Weta, hell I'd hire digital domain over them too. These effects resembles the same shit that ILM was doing back in 98.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:31 p.m. CST

    Again... viggo has hate in his blood...

    by Norman Colson

    For a guy who said he was gonna see green lantern movie. you sure are hating on marvel's properties... Thor was good xmen first class through sheer word of mouth was great. It's about to go for the trifecta. Stop bitching like the miami heat, you lost there's always next year...

  • June 15, 2011, 8:33 p.m. CST

    I like the review but FUCK YOUR STUPID LINK

    by DoctorWho?


  • June 15, 2011, 8:38 p.m. CST

    Now that it is CONFIRMED that GL SUX, how many....

    by Fritzlorrerains

    Of you morons are still gonna go plop down your money to see it? Probably a lot. And thanks to you idiots they will keep making these subpar comic movies. Way to go.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:40 p.m. CST

    And Asgard was handled surprisingly well btw.

    by DoctorWho?

    If the actors "...never feel like they're inhabiting a far-off world" it's because they spend maybe 1/3 or less of the film in it. No money or time to strive for LOTR levels of detail. Hell, Asgard seemed more real than that small-town set Jane lived.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Your review reads like a huge "FUCK YOU" to those who enjoyed Thor...

    by Immortal_Fish

    ...many happy returns.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:42 p.m. CST

    @Viggo ringless king.

    by Norman Colson

    check the mirror much?

  • June 15, 2011, 8:45 p.m. CST

    You lost me at ripping Thor

    by PeopleCallMeTheBriMan

    I stopped reading once I got to that. I have to admit GL looks like Fantastic Four all over again, but Thor was friggin' awesome. So far I rank the genre tent poles of '11 as follows: 1) Thor 2) X-men: First Class 3) Fast Five 4) Super 8 Note: I have not seen Pirates of the Caribbean part 15. I have some semblance of pride.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:54 p.m. CST

    Now that I skimmed the TB, I'm pleased to be in good company...

    by Immortal_Fish

    The hilights: kevred, "THOR wasn't an origin or a hero's journey" Exactly. What was Thor's origin? What compelled him to be the ass he came to be? Fifteen seconds of dialog from young Thor claiming that he would seek vengeance on the Frost Giants? THAT is an 'origin'? Please. his was a story of redemption. We have no idea what Thor's MOTIVE is other than conquest for the sake of it. Finding out why he wants it? Now THAT would be an origin story. Jackass. thelordofhell, "Ryan Reynolds.......Superhero Killer. Takes a lot to fuck both DC and Marvel heroes and not hold on to Scarlett Johansson. Good job Ryan." Well played! Reynolds is just a 'cute' Jack Black. Can't wait for his sixteen minutes to be up. Feels like seventeen and a half hours at this point.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:57 p.m. CST

    SUPER 8 is the one and only summer movie I've seen so far.

    by ColonelFatheart

    And it set a pretty high bar for popcorn fare, I'll tell you that.

  • June 15, 2011, 8:59 p.m. CST

    Popcorn fare for this year, that is.

    by ColonelFatheart

  • June 15, 2011, 9 p.m. CST

    Ow my balls

    by Roger Moon

  • June 15, 2011, 9:01 p.m. CST



    I won't even argue with Beaks complaints about the film. I share some of the criticisms myself. The mask for one didn't work for me. It is not a flawless movie. THAT SAID...... I walked out on a green cloud. It is a completely different kind of superhero movie. I thought Oa looked as good as anything Cameron cooked up on whatever that AVATAR planet was. Lively is hot as shit. Van Wilder is likeable as hell. Sarsgaard's gonad baddie is a delightful turd. I really dug it. No spoilers but a few criticisms......... The human race is mostly absent from the film. The boat scene in THE DARK KNIGHT. The train scene in SPIDEY 2. These scenes make PEOPLE a part of the movie. Humanity is tacked on. Almost an after thought. My biggest problem with the character from the old toon was always the "big green energy fist". So uncreative. I kind of justified the whole thing with a "he is just learning how to use these powers" shrug, but the reality is I was disappointed with his choices in weaponry (I guess is the only way to describe it). Even if he can only create what he knows or can imagine.....let me get some green lightning or a fucking tornado or some cataclysmic force of nature to battle these forces. Dream bigger, some INCEPTION guy said once. I thought it looked great, decent pacing, action packed and I would love to see another one.

  • June 15, 2011, 9:03 p.m. CST

    What is wrong with this place??

    by Roger Moon

  • June 15, 2011, 9:05 p.m. CST

    Holy shit, choppah.

    by ColonelFatheart

    How'd you see GREEN LANTERN so soon?

  • If I read that correctly, that kills the potential of the movie for me personally. I was on the fence, anyway(the theater I used to work at still lets me in free, so I'll see it eventually; can't see myself paying to see this one on opening weekend). I have very limited knowledge of Lantern's lore, but the arc of Sinestro and the casting of Strong were the one thing I was really excited about. It sounded like they had a tremendous opportunity to have Hammond and Parralax occupy 90% of the film as the villains, and then throw a 12-to-6 curve and have Sinestro really fuck shit up at the end and set up a dynamic sequel. If they really just left Sinestro--and more importantly, the great actor portraying him--to a post-credits morning turd, then that fucking blows. I went into "X-men: First Class" without much X-Men fandom and very low expectations, and I fucking loved that movie. So, maybe "Green Lantern" will surprise me. But I respect Beaks as much as just about anyone on AICN(despite the fact that he seems almost unanimously hated by TBers), so this review has me doubting that.

  • June 15, 2011, 9:08 p.m. CST

    Thank you!!!

    by AmbroseChaseWillRise

    Jesus wept! You would think the world would end if it were shit, or heal the sick if it were good.

  • June 15, 2011, 9:08 p.m. CST

    Choppah published a GREEN LANTERN review before Harry did.

    by ColonelFatheart

    Strange days indeed!

  • June 15, 2011, 9:16 p.m. CST

    well, you can't expect a homerun on the first swing

    by antonphd

    no super hero movie has been done well until at least the second movie. even superman and batman had been made since black and white days.

  • God, it's almost not worth it to go to a movie theater anymore. Every one of em has a Choppah in it.

  • June 15, 2011, 9:17 p.m. CST


    by ColonelFatheart

    SUPERMAN (1978) and BATMAN (1989) would like a word with you.

  • June 15, 2011, 9:19 p.m. CST

    That said..


    Captain America will be the superhero film to conquer all superhero films this summer. 20 years ago this summer, Joe Johnston unleashed the pulpy epicness of The Rocketeer. CA seems to be in the same vein. We should all be so lucky. Yes colonel super 8 was a sight to see. Can't wait for the sequel.

  • June 15, 2011, 9:24 p.m. CST

    Choppah, there isn't going to be a goddamn SUPER 8 sequel.

    by ColonelFatheart

  • June 15, 2011, 9:24 p.m. CST

    Coming next summer: CHOPPAH: THE MOVIE


    Starring Morgan Freeman.

  • June 15, 2011, 9:30 p.m. CST

    A beautiful thing, really, viggeo.

    by ColonelFatheart

    Actual character-driven adventures. Who knew such a thing would make for good, solid, entertaining mainstream movies?

  • June 15, 2011, 9:34 p.m. CST

    During the first trailer

    by proevad

    I rolled my eyes so many times I developed a migraine during the film I saw it in front of---Is anyone on here honestly surprised by this?

  • June 15, 2011, 9:35 p.m. CST

    Why do you think it's a fake Choppah?

    by ColonelFatheart

    It seems like the same old handle ...

  • June 15, 2011, 9:38 p.m. CST

    No sequel to super 8?!


    I thought the same thing too about An American Tail but there ya go. For it to be a true Amblin film it needs to produce a shitty sequel. American tail, gremlins, land before time, flintstones. It'll happen. CHOPPED®

  • June 15, 2011, 9:38 p.m. CST

    Super 8 already announced a full line of toys

    by Kammich

    made by Quantum Mechanics. hehe. but I get your point, viggeo. original entertainment is becoming increasingly hard to find in the cinemas, so something like "Super 8" can be refreshing. I wasn't completely blown away by it, but I most definitely respected it. but, be assured... nothing, NOTHING is safe from the toy companies.

  • June 15, 2011, 9:42 p.m. CST

    I never realized there was a "DA CHOPPAH."

    by ColonelFatheart

    Still, you make interesting points, viggeo.

  • June 15, 2011, 9:47 p.m. CST


    by Roger Moon

  • June 15, 2011, 9:48 p.m. CST


    by Roger Moon

  • June 15, 2011, 9:58 p.m. CST

    Really dude? Septuple posts?


    Of course none of us are surprised by the horrific reviews slowly trickling in. The movie looked like shit from day 1. Not every artistic endeavor is gonna turn out golden. This one turned out a turd. Oh well.

  • June 15, 2011, 10:02 p.m. CST

    The Choppah isn't lazy


    he would definitely have capitalized The Flinstones. Plus he's arrogant and wouldn't be caught dead posting with improper grammar.

  • June 15, 2011, 10:07 p.m. CST

    It would be nice to see another film in the style of Super 8


    but Super 8 itself doesn't really open the door very wide for a sequel. I'd say the door is firmly closed but you know that there's some soulless studio execs pontificating the prospect.

  • June 15, 2011, 10:09 p.m. CST

    Mr. Beaks

    by slatefish

    It is so frigging nice to read someone who knows his way around semicolons and colons. Nicely done!

  • June 15, 2011, 10:10 p.m. CST



    Viggeo- we live in a world that has TBs and those TBs have to be guarded by men who chop. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Viggeo Morgenstein. I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom! You weep for DA CHOPPAH and you curse the Choppah. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that DA CHOPPAH'S death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while epic and magnanimous to you, saves lives! You don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that thread. You need me on that thread! We use words like "troll" "chop" and "fail".  We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "Thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a laptop and chop away. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

  • Yes I do mean the actual review. Forget what film he is talking about, because I’m not actually sure. Mr. Beaks, you are better than that, man. As a former comic shop owner I had to hear the Marvel V. DC argument on a daily basis and in the interest of selling books I remained neutral. After seeing this film, which I did at my new place of work in at a major Post Production Company in Burbank, the argument is over on the Film front. This film sent Comic Book adaptations back to the Burton age. Thor was a hundred times better being an average film. Marvel has won this fight. Personally, I would rather have a string of pretty good movies over one fantastic one surrounded by a bunch of boring crap. This review tells me you know that though. DC/WB has no excuse. They own all of their properties out right and could have spun a Movie Universe a thousand times better than Marvel. This is what happens when your marketing department runs the show. Too bad that Marvel will now follow this strategy at the Mouse House. Remember kids, for the price of one bad film you can buy 3 good comics. Support your local Comic Shop!

  • June 15, 2011, 10:15 p.m. CST

    I respect Beaks' opinion... but I almost never agree with it.

    by Bob Loblaw Law Blog

    So... I'm looking forward to very possibly enjoying this weekend. My wife will enjoy it, for sure, because every chick I know loves Ryan Reynolds.

  • June 15, 2011, 10:17 p.m. CST

    Wait... so your saying there's two choppahs?!

    by Norman Colson

    WTF!!!!! I mean what the F!!!!

  • June 15, 2011, 10:23 p.m. CST

    I was hoping for a good film, but expected crap

    by Epsilon

    As Jeff Goldblum said in Jurassic Park: "Boy, do I hate being right all the time."

  • June 15, 2011, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Jurassic Park quote

    by proevad

    Wow. That might be the first time I've seen that film quoted. Not slammin' on you--just sayin that film wasn't exactly known for it's tarantinoesque dialogue.

  • June 15, 2011, 10:32 p.m. CST


    by GRNASKD

    Please dont forget how fickle Hollywood is. If we dont support Ryan Rynolds in "Green Lanturn" (a superhero most could really care less about) then they may put a complete stop to DEADPOOL! A role Ryan was born to play!

  • June 15, 2011, 10:33 p.m. CST

    No Virginia there is only One Almighty Chop


    I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

  • June 15, 2011, 10:36 p.m. CST


    by KilliK

    that this movie was gonna be a pile of shit from the start

  • June 15, 2011, 10:42 p.m. CST


    by kermit_the_fraud

    Please present some evidence that this name ever existed, 'cause my memory, fuzzy as it is, cannot recall any such iteration of the glory that is LORD CHOP. He is, in the words of one unnamed AICN ICON. You don't get to be AN ICON through half-assed impersonation. Unless you're Rich Little.

  • You haven't even seen the movie. Something you said you would, to be able to rag on it more. Which is kinda sad in a way. Feel sorry for Ryan Reynolds too, he probably wanted to do Deadpool, but agents convinced him Green Lantern would be a bigger/better movie.

  • June 15, 2011, 10:50 p.m. CST

    For the non believers..


    Choppah refers you to the infamous sally menke obitback. Granted there are numerous tributes to me already by that time, including "da choppah". But it was I who was banhammered and lived to tell about it. Nice try, Viggeo. CHOPPED®

  • June 15, 2011, 11:01 p.m. CST

    Re: grnaskd

    by vin_diggler

    "a superhero most could really care less about" Really? So does that mean that most of us do care about this hero? what point are you trying to make? Learn your cliche's before speaking for the rest of us!

  • June 15, 2011, 11:14 p.m. CST

    This just in: Rex Reed is still ALIVE!

    by EastBayFrankenstein

  • June 15, 2011, 11:16 p.m. CST


    by The Hand Of The Choppah

    He's Hand-certified.

  • June 15, 2011, 11:27 p.m. CST

    chop dude is real

    by 2soon2eat

    Long time lurker.. Chop is the real deal His john carter ninja break down should have convinced you all. If not, revisit the JC poster thread. The Chop Is Real (and may love cocks, stay tuned)

  • June 15, 2011, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Hand of choppah


    Twenty Absinthe laced whores for you!!

  • June 15, 2011, 11:30 p.m. CST

    so who loved the Raimi Spiderman movies?

    by simpledao4

    I found them servicable but bland- I wonder if this could be any worse.

  • June 15, 2011, 11:35 p.m. CST


    by CreepyThinMan

  • June 15, 2011, 11:54 p.m. CST

    next shitty superhero movie: captain america

    by animas

    this summer is really sucking

  • June 16, 2011, 12:09 a.m. CST


    by deelzbub

    as it is, what schmuck watching this movie isn't going to expect a guy named SINESTRO to become 'sinister' at some point?

  • June 16, 2011, 12:10 a.m. CST


    by deelzbub

    half my post was deleted

  • June 16, 2011, 12:14 a.m. CST

    zombot - let me try for a second reply

    by deelzbub

    quotes- as it is, what schmuck watching this movie isn't going to expect a guy named SINESTRO to become 'sinister' at some point? -unquotes You know the GL corps has got the PC thing going on. Couldn't hold it against the guy just cause changing one letter of his name would make him a villain, could they? Plus, his papers prove he was born in Hawaii.

  • June 16, 2011, 12:17 a.m. CST

    There isn't going to be a next installment

    by Dursman2000

    LOL at that line...this is going to tank. Everyone knew it from the craptastic trailers.

  • June 16, 2011, 12:19 a.m. CST

    Oh god, please do NOT let Geoff write any draft of any GL movie

    by NeoDevilbaneX

    His fingerprints are already all over the shooting script of this movie... let him go down with the ship and let us get some talent next time.

  • June 16, 2011, 12:49 a.m. CST

    We all saw this coming, everyone over the age of 21

    by cgih8r

    I know it's good to save judgment on these movies but after seeing the trailers, tv spots and movie clips it was impossible for this movie NOT to suck I'm sorry it smelled like a turd from day 1. The movies that didn't smell like turds this summer were Xmen & Super 8 and those movies were every bit as good as they looked. Can I just ask that if anyone on here knows that Green Lantern sucks but wants to see it anyway, please do the world a favor and download it for free. Do not reward the studios for pushing out crap for the fans to eat up. Have some dignity and self respect...just a little and spend your money on some fast food instead that's all i ask.

  • June 16, 2011, 1:18 a.m. CST

    Curious to see Harry's review. Remember, he got a GL ring from the studio!

    by SierraTangoFoxtrotUniform

  • June 16, 2011, 1:44 a.m. CST

    Green Lantern? Try Lime Lampshade

    by BlueLando

    Four page Death Boy webcomic tie-in. And while this review makes me sad... meh. People have compared this to Wolverine III which is outright bollocks.

  • June 16, 2011, 1:54 a.m. CST

    Rotten Tomatoes at 22% with 33 critic reviews in.


    X-men was 100% or close to it at this point. Not looking good. Have we seen the best stuff in the Trailers? They made it look like it might be very good. Still holding out hope.

  • Sometimes these guys don't get it. You have to find a director who understands and has a passion as well as vision for this material.

  • June 16, 2011, 2:08 a.m. CST

    The only positive I can see for GL and WB is Transformers 2

    by The Founder

    WB can only hope a fluke like this can happen.

  • RR was never a fit for Hal, but I said I'd give him a chance. Not surprised to hear is RR being well RR again.

  • June 16, 2011, 2:25 a.m. CST

    was this a green lantern review...

    by Winston Smith

    ...or a Thor review? Jesus, WE GET IT. You didn't like Thor. Jesus H... Meanwhile, this summer is oddly turning into one where I pretty much agree with the critics. X-Men: First Class was fantastic. Super 8 was good but not great. Thor was surprisingly enjoyable and cheesy in a good way. Green Lantern looks awful. Pirates 4 and Hangover II were awful. I stand different only with The Tree of Life, as I do with most Malick movies (he DOES tell stories). Oh and I haven't seen Fast Five... despite the good reviews not sure I can do it. I didn't even like the first film.

  • June 16, 2011, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Thor was fun yet could've ben so much more. It

    by Dennis_Moore

    got by on the charm of the actors (except Portman, who is wooden in everything). Though seeing the Asgardians stroll through town in their outrageous raiment was a treat -- now THAT felt like the Marvel U, more so than IM or TIH. Hated the whole "Norse gods are advanced aliens" horsdeshit, though.

  • June 16, 2011, 2:44 a.m. CST

    could've BEEN

    by Dennis_Moore

  • June 16, 2011, 2:48 a.m. CST

    Hey, look -- Sinestro is wearing his ring on his sinister hand.

    by Dennis_Moore

    Who would have thought a guy named "Sinestro" would turn bad?!

  • June 16, 2011, 3:06 a.m. CST


    by Winston Smith

    Yeah, I know! I remember my mind being blown when the M. Night style twist of the first Transformers revealed that the Decepticons were... uh... deceptive.

  • June 16, 2011, 3:27 a.m. CST



    so that was you sitting on the exercise ball outside the theater giggling at all the basement dwellers lined up to see GREEN LANTERN? or what? You were there to see BRIDESMAIDS a third time? no no.... You were clinically evaluating Heather Grahams role in JUDY MOODY vs. her turn as a porn star on wheels in BOOGIE NIGHTS.

  • June 16, 2011, 3:37 a.m. CST

    *Spoilers ahoy*

    by sharpie

    I love green lantern, I have for years, I even have a custom ring I had made that I wear every day. <p> <p> That said... the movie was just alright for me. A couple of the scenes with Carol didn't need to be there, the scene where he first uses the ring could've been cut down drastically and the cheese factor of the movie would've plummeted. There was a good bit of the typical ryan reynolds comedy, and a lot of it was alright, but there was maybe 1 or 2 jokes too many. When the movie worked though, it really worked, The training scene was fantastic and I wish it had been 10 minutes longer. Everything about it was done right, they got the characterization for Killowog, Tomar-re, and Sinestro dead on. It was creative, and well paced, but just afterwards, Hal flies back to earth and a day later he's out there saving people. It didn't seem that plausible, he only trained for at most, a movie hour, and suddenly he's wielding the ring like he's a pro. There was absolutely no need to have Hal face Parallax alone aside from giving the Guardians a little more character. Parallax wasnt built up enough, sure there was a lot of talk about the legends and history, but we hear throughout the movie about the lanterns it's killed and the entire worlds it's wiped out. Come on writers, show, don't tell. And at the 1:45 running time, they could've afforded to pad the script with a bit of menace on Parallax's part. In the third act, you just see this giant cloud with a face (pretty much, yeah) headed towards earth and everybody goes oh noes! and then Hal takes care of it, and it's done. <p> I actually heard a guy outside the theater say "Parallax, wasn't that who the fantastic four fought in the last one?" And that's what the public is going to think. Dammit, stop using clouds as villains!<p> <p> Anyway, there's a mid-credits scene involving Sinestro that everyone saw coming (i mean... it's Sinestro.. come on. And speaking of this, what the hell is up with the Guardians' thought process "oh hey, parallax is scary, let's fight him with the power of fear, obviously we need to forge a yellow ring to harness fear and give it to Sinestro"). <p> I enjoyed it though, I'm just nitpicking because I'm such a big fan and there were so many inexcusable mistakes for a movie that's not even 2 hours long

  • June 16, 2011, 3:38 a.m. CST

    I put some breaks in there...

    by sharpie

    damn lack of an edit function >.>

  • June 16, 2011, 4:26 a.m. CST

    General negative reviews for this movie is not suprising me.

    by AsimovLives

    Campbel should had stick with making more James Bond movies. He's excelent at that.

  • June 16, 2011, 4:26 a.m. CST

    Just Saw It. 5.5/10

    by Antz

    Story was a HORRIBLE adaptation. Reynolds was badly cast and poorly written playing Maverick Wilder instead of Hal Jordan. 3D was good though.

  • June 16, 2011, 4:32 a.m. CST

    Colenolfatheart - superman and batman black and white films

    by antonphd

    There have been superman and batman films since the days of black and white films.

  • June 16, 2011, 4:59 a.m. CST

    This movie was gonna suck from the go.

    by KilliK


  • June 16, 2011, 5 a.m. CST

    Everyone was drinking the Kool Aid.

    by Cobb05

    When I saw the first footage, like everyone, I thought it sucked and the movie was in trouble. Then all the space/CGI stuff came out and all of a sudden everyone was drinking the kool aid, forgetting that the shitty footage was still part of the movie. I was doubting this movie and it made me doubt the movie was good when Martin Campbell said he wouldn't come back for the sequel, no matter how much it makes. I feel bad because out of all the CD characters not named Batman and Superman, Green Lantern is the best character. The dropped the ball big time. The movie is only projected to make about $50 million and they've spent $300 on marketing. They want this to be a huge franchise, but I don't think it will be.

  • June 16, 2011, 5:03 a.m. CST

    Sinestro looks and sounds he a bad guy?

    by KilliK


  • June 16, 2011, 5:07 a.m. CST

    Too bad, if this tanks at BO

    by catlettuce4

    If they don't make money on this WB will have their belief reinforced that only dark tone, and preferably Nolan helming, will work for superheroes. This was their attempt to do something more accurate to the fanciful comics and compete with Marvel for fun factor, and it sounds like it may fail.

  • June 16, 2011, 6:10 a.m. CST

    What is this? AICN Presents: The DC Fanboy Response?

    by CreatureCantina

    Your bitterness over the fact that Thor was both well-reviewed (77% positive on Rotten Tomatoes) and hugely successful ($430+ million grossed), while GL is destined to be a franchise and universe-killing bomb could not be more palpable. DC is murdering itself. Not only are they churning out crap movies (everything not named Batman) and crap television (WW was so bad it didn't even get picked up), they're erasing their entire universe's history in an attempt to couch their heroes in some gritty new world that'll somehow reverse their dwindling readership. It's like watching a car wreck in slow motion. Meanwhile Marvel is coming up aces. Sucks to be a DC fanboy.

  • June 16, 2011, 6:13 a.m. CST

    It was just a matter of time before we got another Batman and Robin


    I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner!

  • June 16, 2011, 6:16 a.m. CST

    I AM very disappointed


    Being a big sci-fi buff I was hoping this movie would be really cool. And they dropped the ball, big-time. Green Lantern had so much potential.

  • June 16, 2011, 7:05 a.m. CST


    by The Hand Of The Choppah

  • June 16, 2011, 7:29 a.m. CST


    by Astronut

    Because I called it. While a shit load of people here were wearing their rose colored glasses and in COMPLETE DENIAL OF THE TOTAL CRAP MOVIE WHICH AWAITED THEM, I called it.

  • June 16, 2011, 8:06 a.m. CST

    movie ruled


    I am glad everyone here is shitting on it. Know nothing know-it-alls.

  • June 16, 2011, 8:07 a.m. CST

    you called fuck all


    you haven't even seen it. fuck all.

  • June 16, 2011, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Fuck DC. They couldnt give a shit.


    And whats with Thor hate in Beaks review... sounds like he was comparing it to GL

  • June 16, 2011, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Thor - great comic book movie

    by VoiceOfSaruman

    It's impossible that GL is a better film than Thor for the simple fact that GL stars the uber-douche Ryan Reynolds. Robert Downey Jr pulls off smarmy because he also pulls off being a genius, and he's got the scars to show his vulnerability right there on the surface. Reynolds' brand of smarmy is so shallow and off-putting to me I can't go near another movie of his. And GL has always seemed a slightly silly character to me. Sorry, fans. But it doesn't even matter. Wolverine was a cool comic character and the studios still fucked him up terribly in his own film.

  • June 16, 2011, 9:52 a.m. CST

    halfbreedqueen, how do you stand differently on Tree of Life?


    The critics are loving it.

  • June 16, 2011, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Still gonna go see this


    I listened to Beaks and other critics and skipped Pirates and yet everyone I know personally who saw it said it was ok.

  • June 16, 2011, 9:56 a.m. CST

    Oh, and Thor Rocked the Asbah!


    And BSB's tightey whiteys!

  • June 16, 2011, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Thor Rocked the Asgar!


    There that's better.

  • June 16, 2011, 10:14 a.m. CST

    Blake Lively's Carol Ferris (a perfectly fine Blake Lively)

    by Waylaid-by-jackassery

    Christ, with that and the rambling first sentence, I gotta wonder -did Harry write this review? I don't get Beaks' Thor hate either. This review won't stop me from seeing GL

  • June 16, 2011, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Beaks - you fucking muppet

    by MrJJonz

    Beaks - you must be taking the piss. Surely. You say that Blake Lively is fine in her role. So, I assume that they removed the lines from the trailers that she delivered. Because in them, she is one of the worst actresses I have ever seen. And as for Thor - that was a real fun, comic book movie, perfectly directed by Brannagh. Not sure I have read a review from you before but I sure as hell will avoid anymore by you. I can understand you not liking Thor, afterall these things are subjective but as for Blake Lively - she just cannot act. Makes me wonder if you reviewed X-Men and raved about how brilliant January Jones was because she was fucking downright awful as well.

  • June 16, 2011, 10:54 a.m. CST

    I can't believe this movie is lame (sarcasm)

    by Homer Sexual

    Previews aren't good, so I/m sure the movie isn't either. Bummer is that it'll make a TON of $$$. First Class is suffering because after Wolverine sucked, people are turned off to the X-franchise, but First Class is awesome, I'm surprised Viggo didn't like it. Thor isn't bad, but I agree with Beaks, it's totally over-rated, nothing special. It's like, if you were afraid Thor would suck, you'd be so happy because it didn't suck. So it benefits from the audience's low expectations.

  • June 16, 2011, 10:55 a.m. CST

    The fact that you all hate it makes me think it just might be alright

    by Transhuman

    Can't wait to see it!

  • June 16, 2011, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Don't get the Thor comparison that movie was GREAT!

    by Wcwlkr

    Yeah I don't get the Thor bashing. I actually loved how they did that movie. I would loved a longer Destroyer vs Thor fight but on a whole I thought it was a great introduction to the character. And to me it didn't waste a lot of time introducing him and his powers. It just relied on people's intelligence and he did what he did just because he was the God of Thunder.

  • June 16, 2011, 11 a.m. CST

    I do hope for Deadpool at least

    by Wcwlkr

    I thought Reynolds as Deadpool for the first part of the movie was one of the very few good things about the Awful Wolverine. After X-Men First Class I'd still love to see Ryan Reynolds play a proper Pool. I think that movie would be great and would wash they terrible taste final act of his character in Wolverine out of our mouths.

  • June 16, 2011, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Wait dissing Thor?!

    by Tom Fremgen

    Green Lantern is so bad you have to pick on Thor?? While I didn't enjoy Thor as much as Ironman or X-Men First Class, Thor was a great superhero movie! RottenTomatoes has Thor at 77% and Green Lantern at 24%

  • June 16, 2011, 11:28 a.m. CST


    by Astronut

    haha, you're funny. I didn't need to witness jews being killed in person in 1940 to know that it was terrible. I don't need to watch this film to know it is terrible. I guess it's safe to assume this film SUCKS DONKEY DICK since it has a 20% fucking approval rating on RT. Give me a break. And for those who recall, it was agreed upon by some that if this film got less than 70% on RT it would be deemed as not great — and that I would bypass having to issue a formal apology on these TB boards.

  • June 16, 2011, 11:49 a.m. CST

    I'm going to count to three, and I'm going to move the coin.

    by tomandshell

    Magneto's character development, served by Fassbender's performance, really elevated X-Men: First Class. Thor was fun with unexpectedly solid acting from Hiddleston and Hemsworth. GL looked like overbaked CG trash from the beginning, with Blake Lively staring blankly at the camera and Reynolds uncomfortably showing off his too skinny CGI body to his roommate for a long moment, with a fake mask unconvincingly painted on in post-production. The actors need to do a good job with a character arc that engages and entertains audiences. The effects must serve the story and acting, not the other way around. Marvel seems to understand this, while DC spends millions animating fake costumes and a big green machine gun out of thin air. But the audience doesn't care.

  • June 16, 2011, 12:03 p.m. CST

    And for those who recall......


    no one cares what you see or what you do or what unfortunate person or object of your sexual affection you are currently issuing apologies to. You are speaking out of turn and its bullshit.

  • June 16, 2011, 12:17 p.m. CST


    by Astronut

    Why so serious? I thought we were friends. Or maybe I confused you with someone else. Anyway, no, sorry, I am not speaking out of turn by assuming this film is crap since the vast majority of critics apparently think it is. I don't believe I have ever liked a movie that has a completely ridiculous approval rating of 20 some percent, ever. Should I? How bizarre for those who would expect even mediocrity to come from a product of such an abysmally low level.

  • I wouldn't. And I wouldn't pay for a ticket to see a "D" rated film either. Use some common sense. Fuuckkk...

  • June 16, 2011, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Meh...I saw it for free and dug it.


    if I paid $12 to sit in a crowded theater I might feel different. astronut.....everyone takes a CHOPPING now and again. Stay on your toes.

  • June 16, 2011, 12:48 p.m. CST

    I think this thing needs popup book cinema.

    by UltraTron

    thing about 3D is that anything with lots of parallax looks holographic when done right. That Morgan Freeman doc looks like you're in a river. When Beowulf is standing in water or any scene where the horizon recedes in the distance looks real. It's when actors are just cut out that it falls apart. Depth of field destroys the effect also. It's good for anything 1st-person. I say 3D is for videogames like a mutherfucker but has limited use for films.

  • June 16, 2011, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Thor's Asgard was well done.

    by Prem1x

    Let's hope Reynolds get's a decent script to work with on Deadpool.

  • June 16, 2011, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Post credit, what happens?

    by shaft478

    Sinestro turns on the GL Corps? He was the one who released the giant fear turd? He was responsible for destroying Krypton? He ends up banging Blake Lively? Someone spill it, I'm not going to see this.

  • June 16, 2011, 2:18 p.m. CST

    why does anyone care about ryan reynolds

    by akkosa

    its not like he is some great actor or anything. the guy will always be van wilder, a frat boy douche in my opinion. his acting range is like vince vaughn, not typecast, just plays himself in everything. and you think he cares if green lantern bombs? he got paid already.

  • June 16, 2011, 2:21 p.m. CST

    There is no excuse for an anemic Green Lantern origin story when...

    by Royston Lodge

    ...the Hal Jordan origin from Red Son is so ... fucking ... badass.

  • June 16, 2011, 2:23 p.m. CST



  • June 16, 2011, 2:24 p.m. CST


    he shoves a green dildo in his yellow ass.

  • The next Pluto Nash maybe.

  • June 16, 2011, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Ebert agrees with me


    GL is the shit.

  • June 16, 2011, 4:30 p.m. CST

    You lost me when you bagged on Thor.

    by Bob

    Sorry dude. Thor was amazing! Bagging on that in comparison to GL was stupid. I've found of late that most of the reviews on here run skewed to a lot of movies of late that have pulled big box office. Of course that says nothing about the quality of a movie. More people went to see the second Hangover movie, and that first one was ass. So there you go. Really not getting what you aintitcool geeks seem to be looking for in a superhero movie. Harry is about the only one that can appreciate them of late. So good on em.

  • June 16, 2011, 4:43 p.m. CST


    by shaft478

    You know how to my nipples to stand straight up. Thank you, I needed that

  • June 16, 2011, 6:05 p.m. CST

    What was wrong w/ Asgard

    by deelzbub

    Not much. But I didn't like the rotating/floating/shuffle-play turret or whatever it was. Looked a little too computery, if you ask me. And I wanted more giant statues of Odin a la Hulk vs Thor.

  • June 16, 2011, 6:44 p.m. CST

    Royston, so right about Hals origin in Red Son

    by leo54304

    That was really bad ass as you said. Showed just powerful Hals will was in the worst possible conditions a person could possibly find themselves in. Good call.

  • June 16, 2011, 7:05 p.m. CST

    What I am hoping for is.......

    by archer1949

    this first one makes a shitload of money and then they can regroup and get it right with the sequel. The fall of Sinestro is a great story, if handled right.

  • June 20, 2011, 8:03 a.m. CST

    Did you see the same movie I saw?

    by Steve

    Obviously not! EVERYONE! Ignore this review and go see the movie... it ROCKS!